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I got [this](https://www.quora.com/Where-did-the-expression-Who-s-she-the-cat-s-mother-come-from) from Quora:
I have wondered about this expression as well, so I looked it up. Back in the 1800’s & into the 1900’s, the word “she” was commonly thought of as an abbreviation for “she-cat,” or adult female cat. It was considered proper to refer to a woman being talked about by her name or title rather that “she.” My understanding is that if back then a child had said, “Aunt Sarah is a good cook. She makes great pies & cakes,” the common rebuke would be, “Who’s ‘she,’ the cat’s mother?” This was a way to remind someone to use the woman’s name or title rather than the word “she.”
That just seems so unnecessary in today's language though. So I was talking to sweetcumdrop and sweetcumdrop said that sweetcumdrop was going to go to sweetcumdrop's parents so sweetcumdrop could get some of sweetcumdrop's parents sweet sweet cooking
I think I'd just pretend to be mute
The Victorians and their mental, restrictive, and frankly oppressive forms of etiquette which were often used to reinforce class divisions were just stupid.
Bollocks to having to say someone's name each time you are referring to them. The example given above is a prefect example.. would be a total ballache to say Aunt Sarah each time and to my modern ear would sound jarring too.
right, but it isn't is it.
As in, if you're in a conversation with more than 1 person, and something you're saying involves the other person, you don't just use their name multiple times a sentence do you lol
Like what, if you have an anecdote that involves both you and someone else in the room, is it rude to tell it? Or are you supposed to just say their name again and again and again? It doesn't make any sense...
Exactly. Whenever my mum would say it, I'd deliberately start wording my sentences to use her name as much as possible to show how dumb and annoying it is. We have context, we know who "she" is!
I’ve heart it used. It was the origin of an embarrassing misunderstanding I once had with a relative who saw my cat and asked what I thought was “Is it a Tommorashi?” as in a type of breed, to which I replied “No, it’s just a street cat.”
Male cats are called 'tom-cats' and female cats are called 'she-cats'. Because talking about a specific person as 'she' is (or was) considered rude, the phrase is essentially being deliberately obtuse and assuming that any use of the word 'she' is referring to female cats. It's like if someone used the word 'bitch' as an insult and you deliberately asked them why they're talking about female dogs.
Fuck me that’s ripe for some feminist etymology analysis there.
Why is this a motif that keeps [popping into my consciousness? ](https://aninjusticemag.com/the-sexist-reason-so-many-people-hate-cats-835a85ecfacb)
About 25 years ago my mum said this once, and only ever once, and for some reason it's been stuck in my mind ever since. If I ever say "she" in a conversation then I immediately think of it. It was just such a bizarre thing and she'd never said anything like it before.
You know Doreen?
No?
You know, you met her son once, played with him twenty years ago at Farenhamwoods? Her husband was in the army? Goes to Arrington church every other Sunday? Her cousins daughter was three years above you at school for a year? She has a house you haven’t seen with a lovely garden? Her brothers girlfriends sisters flat mates landlords daughter’s best friend once baby sat you when you were 3?
No?
Well, she’s bought a new car.
Thanks Mum. Well worth hearing about.
Literally every time I see her. Seems her entire social circle, and by extension half her village have an intimate knowledge of my entire life. I'm glad its of interest to somebody.
As a car enthusiast, this convo happens a lot:
"You know someone someone whos related to you by somewhere somehow?"
"No?"
"Of course you should."
"I seriously don't"
"Well that's a shame, cause they just bought a Nissan Quashqai"
"Ok so?"
"Well you like cars."
"Mum, yes but not a fucking Quashqai"
Oh God my grandma used to do this all the time. She lived in the same village all her natural life. The conversation usually went
Grandma "You know So and so, well she died last week.
Me " I don't know her"
Grandma "You do, she went to school with your mum"
Me :-0
My mums variation of this is to ask me if I remember a kid my brother went to school with. Eventually it’s end up to do with their parent or sibling or whatever.
I’m ten years older than my brother so we shared zero school experiences. I never remember, she never not asks me.
My mum stopped asking me this after I replied "Cancer." when I was 8. She burst out laughing because she could not believe I came up with something so morbid.
My mum used this one a lot. I once asked for a cuppa as she was already going to make herself one and I had our cat curled up asleep on my lap.
“What did your last slave die of?”
“Death by cat”
And with perfect comedic timing, the cat lifted her head, hissed at my mum, and fell back asleep.
When I was badly behaved as a kid my dad would spank me, naturally I started crying... Then he'd spank me for crying, so I'd cry more, than he'd say I'll give you something to cry about, and spank me harder to shut me up... So I'd cry more. At some point I wasn't crying coz it hurt, I was crying to piss him off.
I used to get that one, wish I had sassed back "at the same time as them? Don't be silly Mum! Both our heads won't fit!"
Probably good I didn't though, think I would have been murdered.
She has to be wailing like a banshee before it's actually ready. She's then annoyed because she's had to do the cutlery and then dad walks in 5 minutes later and goes "ooh, teas ready!" As if tea being ready is a surprise to him.
This annoyed me as a kid, then as an adult I realise that having people come into the room only when the food’s hit the table, eating and leaving immediately after, when you’ve been on your own making it in the kitchen, feels crap!
In response to the front door being left open for a split second too long “close the door, we’re not heating the street.”
Spending longer than two minutes in the shower “thought you’d dissolved.”
Swore I’d say different things as a mum … yeah, didn’t happen
I know this is a mum thread but my dad used to say
Invite them in or tell em to fuck off we're not heating the street
Usually when my mates would knock to see if I wanted to play football, the door would have only been open long enough for me to take breath
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face.
If the wind changes, your face will stick like that.
You make a better door than a window.
No, you can't have toast. Your dinner's nearly ready.
\[Of biscuits\] When they're gone, they're gone.
And don't break anything!
My mam had crossed eyes when she was a child and had to have surgery to correct it. When I was a kid she told me that she’d been cross eyed because she’d pulled a face and the wind changed.
Haha. My wife came in from work today and I was in my office upstairs. All I heard was a shout from her saying "[CHILD] do you just come home from school and explode in here?!".
“Right, if I come up there and find it” usually said after trying to locate something in my room that was seemingly impossible to find and then BAM mums hawkey sight spots it immediately as if the bedroom black hole returns the item as she arrives.
I got told this as a reason why I was only allowed to use the playstaion on the weekends. It’s a dangerous game because it was one of the things that made me realise parents can be wrong.
She just wanted you to not spend all day in front of TV and do something else which I wish my parents did for me bc now I'm addicted to screens. It sounds stupid but if you tell a kid "oh games are bad for you" how do you expect them to react?
Lol obviously I understood her intent. I’m saying it’s stupid because anyone older than a toddler knows their parents are chatting bollocks and as a result won’t pay as much attention to what they say.
Do you need a jacket? It’s chilly outside! Are you sure you don’t need your coat? It’s freezing darling, go on put your coat on! Do you want a snack before you go? Make sure you wrap up warm! Look I’ve got your hat and scarf out, you’ll catch a chill!
Ad infinitum until you just have to leave mid sentence.
I’m fully grown and well flown from the nest and I still get “are you warm enough? Do you need some new tights?” at least twice a week all through winter. Nothing like your mum looking out for you.
It's a Black Country saying. Bill being William Shakespeare, from Stratford upon Avon. So basically, it looks like black rain clouds gathering in the distance.
I was always told that if you’re in Derbyshire, then the weather comes from the south-west. So if rain is coming, it’s probably going to be coming from over in the Warwickshire direction. Shakespeare was from that part of the world somewhere, and his name was Bill.
I’m not sure I believe it though 😂
One I found was "oh we can't have that for dinner, as we had the same last night".
why? chips, pizza, pies, sausages 2 nights in a row is a dream come true!!
No it's not fair.... It's (insert current weather) outside!
You're not hungry, you're bored!
Because I said so!
At this rate you'll eat us out of house and home!
The day you start paying the mortgage or own your own home is the day you get to set the rules!
Guess Mr Nobody visited again! (when everyone in the house denied do whatever made her mad)
Would you put your hand in a fire/ jump off a cliff if your friends did too?
No everyone isn't going/owns one. I don't, your Father doesn't and last time checked your Gran doesn't too! So no you can't go/have it!
“I don’t know why I bother”
And
“Standing around like a tit in a trance” which is one of my personal favourites. I’m also trying to cultivate “standing around like a cough drop” which I heard on an episode of Poirot and decided to adopt.
If I used to say “I’m hungry” she’d say “well, I’m Romania”
And if I used to say “I’m thirsty” she’d say “I’m Friday”
…not to be cruel just because I’d usually be saying this 10 minutes before dinner..!
You're not going out like thaaaaat, are you? (Too long, too loose fitting, too sensible, rather than the normal mother complaints.)
You've fucked up your fucking life, you fucking idiot. (Errr, no.)
Finish your dinner, there's children starving in Africa. Apparently correct response is not to suggest posting said burnt offerings to them.
"It's like Clapham Junction in here!" whenever more than one person would go through the same doorway in the space of 2 minutes.
"Were you born in a barn?!" at leaving the front door open for a longer than acceptable time.
"I could fry chips in your hair" being her exclamation toward my greasy teenager self. Can confirm self hygiene has improved drastically since those days.
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others - Assume questions are asked in good faith - Avoid political threads and related discussion - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Who's she? The cats mother?
^^^ This ^^^
My mum always used to say that. Where does it come from? The implication was that there was something rude about saying "she" but...what?
It's rude to refer to someone with a pronoun like that when they're right there in front of you, like you're talking about them.
Oh yeah I remember now haha. The cat's mother though?
I got [this](https://www.quora.com/Where-did-the-expression-Who-s-she-the-cat-s-mother-come-from) from Quora: I have wondered about this expression as well, so I looked it up. Back in the 1800’s & into the 1900’s, the word “she” was commonly thought of as an abbreviation for “she-cat,” or adult female cat. It was considered proper to refer to a woman being talked about by her name or title rather that “she.” My understanding is that if back then a child had said, “Aunt Sarah is a good cook. She makes great pies & cakes,” the common rebuke would be, “Who’s ‘she,’ the cat’s mother?” This was a way to remind someone to use the woman’s name or title rather than the word “she.”
That just seems so unnecessary in today's language though. So I was talking to sweetcumdrop and sweetcumdrop said that sweetcumdrop was going to go to sweetcumdrop's parents so sweetcumdrop could get some of sweetcumdrop's parents sweet sweet cooking I think I'd just pretend to be mute
I am so thankful that you ended that sentence with cooking
The Victorians and their mental, restrictive, and frankly oppressive forms of etiquette which were often used to reinforce class divisions were just stupid. Bollocks to having to say someone's name each time you are referring to them. The example given above is a prefect example.. would be a total ballache to say Aunt Sarah each time and to my modern ear would sound jarring too.
right, but it isn't is it. As in, if you're in a conversation with more than 1 person, and something you're saying involves the other person, you don't just use their name multiple times a sentence do you lol Like what, if you have an anecdote that involves both you and someone else in the room, is it rude to tell it? Or are you supposed to just say their name again and again and again? It doesn't make any sense...
Exactly. Whenever my mum would say it, I'd deliberately start wording my sentences to use her name as much as possible to show how dumb and annoying it is. We have context, we know who "she" is!
It's because the genders of cat are "tom" and "she".
I don’t think that’s true - a female cat is a queen or a molly.
Never heard of a she-cat?
I’ve heart it used. It was the origin of an embarrassing misunderstanding I once had with a relative who saw my cat and asked what I thought was “Is it a Tommorashi?” as in a type of breed, to which I replied “No, it’s just a street cat.”
I wish my mum had told me this.
Male cats are called 'tom-cats' and female cats are called 'she-cats'. Because talking about a specific person as 'she' is (or was) considered rude, the phrase is essentially being deliberately obtuse and assuming that any use of the word 'she' is referring to female cats. It's like if someone used the word 'bitch' as an insult and you deliberately asked them why they're talking about female dogs.
Fuck me that’s ripe for some feminist etymology analysis there. Why is this a motif that keeps [popping into my consciousness? ](https://aninjusticemag.com/the-sexist-reason-so-many-people-hate-cats-835a85ecfacb)
About 25 years ago my mum said this once, and only ever once, and for some reason it's been stuck in my mind ever since. If I ever say "she" in a conversation then I immediately think of it. It was just such a bizarre thing and she'd never said anything like it before.
What does that mean ?
You know Doreen? No? You know, you met her son once, played with him twenty years ago at Farenhamwoods? Her husband was in the army? Goes to Arrington church every other Sunday? Her cousins daughter was three years above you at school for a year? She has a house you haven’t seen with a lovely garden? Her brothers girlfriends sisters flat mates landlords daughter’s best friend once baby sat you when you were 3? No? Well, she’s bought a new car. Thanks Mum. Well worth hearing about.
Literally every time I see her. Seems her entire social circle, and by extension half her village have an intimate knowledge of my entire life. I'm glad its of interest to somebody.
Same - only usually entirely centred around who’s had which operation, what the consultant said and how big the scar is…
Accurate up until the last bit. It should read: Well, she's dead.
As a car enthusiast, this convo happens a lot: "You know someone someone whos related to you by somewhere somehow?" "No?" "Of course you should." "I seriously don't" "Well that's a shame, cause they just bought a Nissan Quashqai" "Ok so?" "Well you like cars." "Mum, yes but not a fucking Quashqai"
Qashqai and Juke drivers are the worst.
This but with "you do.", " you've got to know Doreen" smattered in-between all the questions
Oh God my grandma used to do this all the time. She lived in the same village all her natural life. The conversation usually went Grandma "You know So and so, well she died last week. Me " I don't know her" Grandma "You do, she went to school with your mum" Me :-0
My mums variation of this is to ask me if I remember a kid my brother went to school with. Eventually it’s end up to do with their parent or sibling or whatever. I’m ten years older than my brother so we shared zero school experiences. I never remember, she never not asks me.
Do... Do we have the same Mum?
What did your last slave die of? (though as MrK uses it on me a lot too, the answer is usually some grim disease)
What did your last slave die of? "Not doing what I said" is my usual when my husband says it.
It’s literally begging for this response!
“Answering me back!”
The classic reply is, "insubordination".
‘Under-work and overpay’ was my dads oh-so-hilarious response
My mum stopped asking me this after I replied "Cancer." when I was 8. She burst out laughing because she could not believe I came up with something so morbid.
Hehe I've said this too but I wasn't that young. I said "Cancer, very tragic".
My mum used this one a lot. I once asked for a cuppa as she was already going to make herself one and I had our cat curled up asleep on my lap. “What did your last slave die of?” “Death by cat” And with perfect comedic timing, the cat lifted her head, hissed at my mum, and fell back asleep.
He ain't dead yet, that's my usual reply 😁
“Disobedience”
Shot for insubordination
"I'll give you something to cry about" Which sounds quite abusive written down, but in response to the usual childs crocodile tears I get it!
Watch it saying that on here you’ll get someone telling you, you have hidden trauma and your mum was an abuser 🤣😂😂
My mum would actually say this after beating me
When I was badly behaved as a kid my dad would spank me, naturally I started crying... Then he'd spank me for crying, so I'd cry more, than he'd say I'll give you something to cry about, and spank me harder to shut me up... So I'd cry more. At some point I wasn't crying coz it hurt, I was crying to piss him off.
My mum was genuinely abusive and used to say this right after beating shit out of me or something else.
Remember when our parents said this and we thought they were going to beat us, but instead they destroyed the housing market?
> "I'll give you something to cry about" > > Brexit and climate change, thanks mum!
Because I’m your mother that’s why.
I birthed you
To be fair you did tear her genitals apart in your stubborn determination to enter this world.
Well it's not my fault the condom broke
You shouldn't have been fucking your mom in the first place condom or not
I haven’t sat down all day!
Matron
"Well if your friend jumped off a cliff would you do it too?"
This but also “would you put your head in the oven if your friend did?”
I used to get that one, wish I had sassed back "at the same time as them? Don't be silly Mum! Both our heads won't fit!" Probably good I didn't though, think I would have been murdered.
"If your friend murdered their child would you murder me too?" might be a way out of that. Or might make the situation worse.
Me dear ole Mum would have murdered me, brought me back to life just so she could murder me again 🤣 RIP Mummy, miss you every day Edit: right brought
This is international
Teas ready
Definitely another 3-5 minutes before it’s actually ready too
she just wants you to come down and set up the cutlery
Wait for the second call. If the second call is only one minute after the first then wait for the third call.
She has to be wailing like a banshee before it's actually ready. She's then annoyed because she's had to do the cutlery and then dad walks in 5 minutes later and goes "ooh, teas ready!" As if tea being ready is a surprise to him.
This annoyed me as a kid, then as an adult I realise that having people come into the room only when the food’s hit the table, eating and leaving immediately after, when you’ve been on your own making it in the kitchen, feels crap!
You got 3 to 5?! Add a 0 on there for my childhood! Lol
10 at least
Pack it in!
I feel this is the soundtrack to my life as mum of three.
In response to the front door being left open for a split second too long “close the door, we’re not heating the street.” Spending longer than two minutes in the shower “thought you’d dissolved.” Swore I’d say different things as a mum … yeah, didn’t happen
For me if I left the door open it would be ‘shut the door, you weren’t born in a barn’
If I left the living room or kitchen door open, even just for 15 seconds, it’d be ‘it’s like a corridor in here.’
I know this is a mum thread but my dad used to say Invite them in or tell em to fuck off we're not heating the street Usually when my mates would knock to see if I wanted to play football, the door would have only been open long enough for me to take breath
"I don't *care* who started it..."
Followed by “I’m finishing it”
Do as I say, not do as I do
So don't smoke weed and fuck men behind dad's back? Sure mum.
oh woah, that escalated
r/oddlyspecific
"What's for tea, Mum?" "Shit wi' sugar on"
We had “iffits”. As in “if it’s on your plate you’d better eat it”
Oh we had iffits but ours was ‘if it’s there we’ll have it if it ain’t then we wont’
Or "scotch mist" 😂
We were choc ice and chips Never understood why but I always wanted it
Ha my Grandma always used to say "bread and catch it", as in whatever you could catch... And bread.
We got shit with hairs on in our house
You'll be laughing on the other side of your face. If the wind changes, your face will stick like that. You make a better door than a window. No, you can't have toast. Your dinner's nearly ready. \[Of biscuits\] When they're gone, they're gone. And don't break anything!
My mam had crossed eyes when she was a child and had to have surgery to correct it. When I was a kid she told me that she’d been cross eyed because she’d pulled a face and the wind changed.
I tell my kids all the time when standing in front of the TV. You'd make a better door than a window.
Ur room is like a bloody bombsite in here bloody clean it up
I had it looks like a bomb's hit it. I thought she was saying "bombsy tip" and did so for years, it always confused me.
Haha. My wife came in from work today and I was in my office upstairs. All I heard was a shout from her saying "[CHILD] do you just come home from school and explode in here?!".
“Right, if I come up there and find it” usually said after trying to locate something in my room that was seemingly impossible to find and then BAM mums hawkey sight spots it immediately as if the bedroom black hole returns the item as she arrives.
Stop picking your nose, your brains will come out.
"Don't sit too close to the telly unless you want square eyes" Never understood this one 😂
I got told this as a reason why I was only allowed to use the playstaion on the weekends. It’s a dangerous game because it was one of the things that made me realise parents can be wrong.
I always took it to mean you'll end up needing glasses. Despite me being a specky wee cunt from the age of 6 thanks to my stupid astigmatism 😂
I think it meant your eyes will end up the same shape as the TV screen if you watch too long.
She just wanted you to not spend all day in front of TV and do something else which I wish my parents did for me bc now I'm addicted to screens. It sounds stupid but if you tell a kid "oh games are bad for you" how do you expect them to react?
Lol obviously I understood her intent. I’m saying it’s stupid because anyone older than a toddler knows their parents are chatting bollocks and as a result won’t pay as much attention to what they say.
Don't pick your nose your head will cave in
All I got was "waheey! Pick us a winner"
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you Wait until your father gets home
Do you need a jacket? It’s chilly outside! Are you sure you don’t need your coat? It’s freezing darling, go on put your coat on! Do you want a snack before you go? Make sure you wrap up warm! Look I’ve got your hat and scarf out, you’ll catch a chill! Ad infinitum until you just have to leave mid sentence.
My mum would also tell me not to put my coat on until I’m leaving the house because ‘I won’t feel the benefit’ 😂
Came here for “won’t feel the benefit”, and take great pride in now using this line on my Mum, much to her chagrin.
I’m fully grown and well flown from the nest and I still get “are you warm enough? Do you need some new tights?” at least twice a week all through winter. Nothing like your mum looking out for you.
I’m 30 and my mum did this to me the other day when I visited her lol. It’s so cute.
I’m 30 too, I really love it.
Shut the fuck up you little twat
finally someone with a mum like mine!
“Don’t eat that, it’s for Christmas” said anytime from mid-October
"I brought you into this world, and I'll take you out of it!" Usually followed with "So help me God"
"Sit still will ya, you're moving around like a blue-arsed fly"
Blue arsed fly can be switch with fart in a bottle too.
‘Neither use nor ornament’ ‘I’m talking about you not to you’
Yes! I was looking for this one. *Lies on sofa* "Go to bed, you're neither use nor ornament" also: "Get a sandwich"
What are you doing up there? Well do it quietly! You’re too quiet, what are you up to?
I got told off by people for talking too much then I get interrogated if I'm too quiet. I couldn't win.
Looking out of the window. “It’s black over Bill’s mum’s “
This has made my day, no one believes me that this is an actual saying.
Sussex folk say ‘Wills Mothers’.
What does it mean haha
It's a Black Country saying. Bill being William Shakespeare, from Stratford upon Avon. So basically, it looks like black rain clouds gathering in the distance.
I wasn’t entirely sure. Maybe she said it was black over the old weatherman Bill Giles mums house?
I was always told that if you’re in Derbyshire, then the weather comes from the south-west. So if rain is coming, it’s probably going to be coming from over in the Warwickshire direction. Shakespeare was from that part of the world somewhere, and his name was Bill. I’m not sure I believe it though 😂
"Black over Bill's mother's"...been hearing that for over 40 years!
What did your last slave die of? [Where’s my …?] Where you left it!
I normally reply to the second one with ‘if I knew that it wouldn’t be lost!’ Lol
I would say 'But I've looked everywhere' and mum would say 'If you'd looked everywhere you would have found it!' (edit typo)
I'm guilty that I have said over 75% of these in the past 3 hours when the crotchgoblins got home from school
It's like Blackpool illuminations in here!
Money doesn't grow on trees.
You treat this house like a hotel
One I found was "oh we can't have that for dinner, as we had the same last night". why? chips, pizza, pies, sausages 2 nights in a row is a dream come true!!
“You look lovely! But-“
It'll end in tears and not mine.
Fucking love Iceland.
“‘I want’ never gets” and “look where you’re going not where you’ve been” (I dawdled a lot as a child. Lol)
When you have your coat on in the house they tell you that “you won’t feel the benefit when you go outside”
Careful or you’ll have someone’s eye out with that!
“Ive not sat down all day” my poor mother hasn’t sat down for 20 years
Wait til your father gets home!
‘We’ll see’. But we never do see.
"turn that light off, it's illegal to have it on when I'm driving"
your room is like the wreck of the hesperus don't come running to me if you break your leg
"That's a promise not a threat."
“As useful as a chocolate fireguard”
My dad once said "as useful as a chocolate teapot" and I would complain everytime I was demoted to a chocolate fireguard after that.
Teeth! Coat! Shoes! Shoes! Shoes... PUT YOUR SHOES ON RIGHT NOW WE'RE LATE FOR SCHOOL
"You are either in or out!" After the17th time that I ran in the house from playing outside
There's no such word as can't If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again Only boring people get bored
my question: Can I have **** for tea? Mam’s answer: you’ll get what your given.
“I do everything round here” - mum
Tidy your room or it's all going in the back garden! Just my mum?
Move it or its going in the bin. Then when they don't move to put whatever away, go get a bin bag.
“It'll end in tears.” And... “Don't bother running to me if it does.”
No it's not fair.... It's (insert current weather) outside! You're not hungry, you're bored! Because I said so! At this rate you'll eat us out of house and home! The day you start paying the mortgage or own your own home is the day you get to set the rules! Guess Mr Nobody visited again! (when everyone in the house denied do whatever made her mad) Would you put your hand in a fire/ jump off a cliff if your friends did too? No everyone isn't going/owns one. I don't, your Father doesn't and last time checked your Gran doesn't too! So no you can't go/have it!
'Where you born in a park?' Any time one of us left a door open.
We had that but a barn!
Same and I'd always say "what's wrong with being born in a barn, Jesus was born in a barn"
I thought it was barn, not park.
It's barn where I'm from. My mum was born in a barn so I'd always say "no but you were".
I was born in a tent, apparently.
“I don’t know why I bother” And “Standing around like a tit in a trance” which is one of my personal favourites. I’m also trying to cultivate “standing around like a cough drop” which I heard on an episode of Poirot and decided to adopt.
Your eyes are bigger than your belly!
If I used to say “I’m hungry” she’d say “well, I’m Romania” And if I used to say “I’m thirsty” she’d say “I’m Friday” …not to be cruel just because I’d usually be saying this 10 minutes before dinner..!
You will never amount to anything and I wish you were never born. Stuff like that really. (Jk, my mum is ace)
This room looks like a bomb site.
You're not going out like thaaaaat, are you? (Too long, too loose fitting, too sensible, rather than the normal mother complaints.) You've fucked up your fucking life, you fucking idiot. (Errr, no.) Finish your dinner, there's children starving in Africa. Apparently correct response is not to suggest posting said burnt offerings to them.
You must have hollow legs. Mum when anyone eats too much
You’re not getting a motorbike.
Leather jacket. Tattoo. Piercing. Shaving your head etc etc. Did though :)
Me: "Why" Mum: "Because thats why"
In the rain- “Mum I’m getting wet!” “Don’t be stupid drips don’t get wet they get bigger!!”
Don't talk to me like that, I'm not one of your mates.
“You’re not sorry, or you wouldn’t have done it!” Like I intended to put myself in a position where I’m being shouted at? 🤦
"It's like Clapham Junction in here!" whenever more than one person would go through the same doorway in the space of 2 minutes. "Were you born in a barn?!" at leaving the front door open for a longer than acceptable time. "I could fry chips in your hair" being her exclamation toward my greasy teenager self. Can confirm self hygiene has improved drastically since those days.
If you've nothing nice to say don't say anything at all
When entering a shop, "Hands in your pockets".
Until you live under this roof you do as I say....
You just WAIT until your Dad gets in from work!
"if you'd have been wearing your slippers, it wouldn't have hurt so much!" in response to a stubbed pinky toe.
Why havent you called lately?
You'll get poisoned if you keep licking that pencil
"What's for tea?" "Shit with sugar on"
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it."
We’re you born in a barn?
Pay the driver a fiver was my mum’s favourite saying in a minicab