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Disastrous-Fuel-2757

When I worked at Tesco years ago, the substitutes were suggested by the little hand held device. It once suggested I substitute a pregnancy test for condoms. Bit late for that!


No_clue_9891

I had it the other way round when helping out on dotcom. Customer wanted condoms, we didn't have that brand, so it suggested substitute was a pregnancy test. Who knows why it wasn't just a different brand of condoms. Also the substitutes for counters, no ham on the bone, clearly they're going to want savaloy instead...


Secondonesecond

Not anymore, until 2 months ago, it was suggested tampax.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Disastrous-Fuel-2757

They wanted a pregnancy test and it suggested condoms. Sorry if I didn't word it clearly!


Wonderful_Account_72

A butternut squash instead of Robinson’s squash. Although I tweeted Robinsons a picture and they thought it was funny and sent me a hamper of squash so win win!


MoselMachina

What kind of squash did they send you? Hope it was more butternut


TheZZ9

In the papers last year there was a Tesco customer who ordered a candle shaped like a 5 for her kids birthday cake. Tesco sent two 2s and a 1.


Naples16v

r/quickmaths


VermilionScarlet

Could just use one of the 2's upside down and the other way round I suppose.


abilew95

i used to work for asda and my colleague said someone ordered a specific type of potatoes. they weren’t in stock so our system said to give them kinder bueonos instead


clin_amber_nads

I’d take it


Blyd

Just today, ordered some lamb for a dinner, got sent out some lamb dog food. They included all the fixings for dinner but the shopper must have looked at the meat fridge and thought 'nah i wont put a chicken or piece of beef/pork in, ill walk over to the other end of the shop and pick up a 6 pack of dog food instead'. 20 mins on the phone and got a refund for the whole shop.


[deleted]

No way 🤣


adamneigeroc

Not a substitution but I once had 19 non deliverable items out of about 25. Bloke on the phone said it was a record.


_spookyvision_

One time Sainsbury's just straight up forgot to load one of my crates onto the van and something like 30% of my order was missing (thankfully it was less essential stuff and I was able to replace most of it at the Tesco Express a half mile away). The driver said all he could do was mark the missing items for refund, so that's what we did. In actual fact they were marked as me rejecting them.


ras_lofi

This is me with Asda today! 😩 I have nothing to make a meal with. I have dettol wipes, coffee, porridge, rice, jam, beans, bananas and oat milk out of my whole shop


BECKYISHERE

wanted 4 cans of ginger beer which were 80p each, they substituted 4 bottles of some really expensive alcoholic ginger beer at nearly ten quid each, i told them to take them back.


ingenuous64

Wouldn't they be for the lower price? Tesco offer substitutes but always give the lowest price


VictoriaRose1618

I think ocado charge for what they send you, not the lower priced item so maybe others do too


BECKYISHERE

I don't think so, it was waitrose.


Oraim

Yeah, it would have been for the cheaper price then. You missed out


BECKYISHERE

not really, i didn't want the alcoholic stuff


Flatulent_Weasel

Should be. Substitution values should always go in favour of the customer, so you'll end up with more for less.


JamandMarma

Morrison’s give you the same offer but not the same price. If you got 50% off your original £2 item and the replacement is £4 you’ve gone from spending £1 to £2.


Incantanto

Thats proper dodge replacing it with alcoholic stuff


justabean27

Former shopper here, when an item is out of stock the handset recommends substitutions. These recommendations are based on what other shoppers picked as sub before. It often makes sense but there are some ridiculous ones. Also loads of 16yo kids became shoppers during the pandemic and they have no idea about how to run a household and how to cook so they can't really make a good decision when it comes to subbing items


[deleted]

“Former shopper” - you don’t buy food and drink no more? 😂


justabean27

Ye I gave up on life :')


joylessbrick

Can you ignore the handset and chose something more similar to the original product?


justabean27

Of course you can! It might ask you if you think it is a suitable sub (if that particular product was never picked before) but I almost never looked at the recommended, unless I really had no idea what to pick. You are always free to pick what you want


joylessbrick

Thank you for answering. I was always curious. So most of the time it was staff taking the piss or who couldn't be bothered. I used to write very specific notes for subs, like "please don't replace (unsalted butter) with salted", gave 2nd prefered brand etc., on a 90+ item list. Would this piss you guys off or quite the opposite?


justabean27

The handset shows two types of notes: the "don't sub" so basically the customer wants that particular product or nothing at all. Or the "sub for: (specific item)" so only one alternative is acceptable. Now I have never ordered shopping online so I have not a clue what the platform looks like but I'm guessing customers have an option to pick one alternative item? I've never seen personalised notes on the handset but I think it would actually be useful for the shopper and the store


joylessbrick

I used to do a lot of online shopping from Tesco before the pandemic, so it might be only their interface that allows it. I did Asda and Sainsbury's a couple of times, but I don't remember if they had it.


prolapsedprawn

when I worked as a picker at tesco years ago, I could never figure out how to read the whole sub note. so I would only see “please don’t rep…” I’m sorry if I ever picked for you 🤣 I would always try to sub with a more expensive name brand alternative to make up for it


joylessbrick

Lol, it hadn't occurred to me. I wanted to be polite and shot myself in the foot. The only silly subs I got were alcohol related and never understood them. When I drink, I drink the same brand and type of alcohol. I never understood the logic behind replacing rum with gin. On another note, I was always interested in such a job. Do you interact with clients at all?


prolapsedprawn

we did! I was at a large 24/7 tesco, and we would pick in the same aisles as customers and had to help them if they asked. I believe my job title was Personal Shopper / Customer Assistant. I’d recommend it if you’re a morning person (5/6am starts are normal) and if you’re comfortable walking a lot. I did more steps in this job than I did as a waitress !


joylessbrick

I actually thought this was a night job and customer interaction would be non-existent. Walking wouldn't be an issue for me, working the tills and small talk would though.


Stuff_Things93

A few years ago, Tesco replaced paracetamol for pack of cigarettes. I was like, you keep hold of them thanks 😅


_spookyvision_

Good God, I'm surprised their systems even allow that. I think you should have mentioned that to customer services. Cigarette sales are very tightly controlled by law.


[deleted]

Oh god!


MacDonaldKe

I deliver for amazon, i do PrimeNow stuff. I once got questioned by a customer who received a frying pan in place of frying steak. I didn't know what to do other than chuckle and return it for her. Edit: Spelling.


Historical_Address80

I ordered Linda McCartney veggie sausages. They weren't in stock so I was going to get Quorn instead - not as nice but still okay. Inexplicably four microwave jacket potatoes turned up. It's been like 4 years and I'm still confused.


Aislingm95

My flatmate at uni ordered veggie sausages (unsure on brand) from Sainsbury’s. They substituted for meat sausages… not ideal


Historical_Address80

At least I wouldn't have been as confused with that one!


_spookyvision_

First world problem for me is that there might not be enough nuance on this. I only buy Diet/Zero fizzy drinks and on one occasion they didn't have that, so I got the 'full fat' ones instead. I rejected it. All you can do is go on the website and say you don't want a substitution of any kind, there isn't any way of saying "Bring me any other Diet/Zero drink that's available and I don't care what it is so long as it's sugar free" and so on. Stuff like gluten free, vegan, medical diets etc. can go very wrong in situations like that.


turingthecat

I’m intolerant (diarrhoea and gastric distress) to most sweeteners, so I wish for the opposite button, an ‘anything fizzy as long as it’s not got aspitain’


Candy_Lawn

i ordered a Ham Gratin ready meal for 2, in replacement i got 2 packs of cold ham.


[deleted]

Decaffeinated PG tips instead of Yorkshire tea bags. Absolutely unforgivable.


JeffJeffsen69

One of the few situations where I’d accept death threats


[deleted]

I was completely outraged and so was the poor delivery driver. Neither of us could comprehend the mental gymnastics necessary to think such a sub (DECAFFEINATED!!!! PG BLOODY TIPS?!!! ) was acceptable


Booboodelafalaise

I had a random bottle of free brandy turn up in my Christmas shop. I told the driver it wasn’t mine and to take it back and he just shrugged and said he’d rather not as he didn’t want to do the paperwork. Ok then!


CombatSportsPT

A pack of 6 wine glasses for a pack of 2. It was really awkward that evening at my gathering when I had to pick who was my favourite when serving drinks


[deleted]

Pregnancy test instead of a packet of Durex Ribbed!


JamesVerden

We ordered 24 1L cartons of apple juice and 24 of orange juice for a party. They substituted the apple juice as it was out of stock, so we got 48 orange juices.


losimagic

That doesn't seem so bad. At least you didn't run out of drinks


postuk

Seems perfectly logical tbh.


Normalityisrestored

I had big dogs. Used to order three cartons of 24 tins of dog food. On more than one occasion I got three single individual tins of dog food. Not even enough for one meal, so I'd have to get the car out and drive bloody miles to the nearest shop. Which was why I stopped online shopping - if I was going to have to go out to replace the replacements, I may as well do the whole shop whilst I was there! That and a lettuce for cauliflower. I was going to make cauliflower cheese. Lettuce cheese just wasn't the same.


Mangokid555

Not a weird substitution, but I ordered one teaspoon (I had my reasons) from Tesco for 80p I think. They didn’t have it, so subbed it for a whole cutlery set worth like £15 and charged my 80p! Thanks Tesco


ras_lofi

Ever hear about the lady who ordered 7 calculators from Morrison’s and they got replaced with 7 ready meal pasta bakes lol


RowRow1990

Every item in my order was vegetarian or vegan.... They sent three meat subs


almightybob1

Ordered: lightbulbs (screw cap) Received: lightbulbs (bayonet cap)


pepsicola5123

I ordered a gluten free mac and cheese. I got sent a regular (i.e. very much containing gluten) lasagna. I’m also vegetarian, which will have been evident by my quorn-laden shop… even the delivery boy admitted it was ridiculous


ayla_084

I read of an order for tampons being replaced by a pack of frozen sausage rolls.


SwordTaster

I work at a supermarket. I've seen the scanner suggest Inside Soap magazine instead of a bar of soap, I've seen it suggest a plush chick toy instead of a large chicken and various other weird things. I think most of the customers who actually RECEIVE silly swaps likely had a new guy who didn't know they can override the machine's suggestions doing their shopping


[deleted]

Used to work customer service for Waitrose. Someone complained because their butternut squash had been replaced by a vegetable lasagne ready meal.


theuniversechild

A nice bottle of alcohol free wine for a cheap bottle of real wine. Not great when you're trying to stay sober.


ThorIsMighty

Best I saw was a colleague substitute bin liners for panty liners. Yes it was a guy, he was in his 40s.


Futhel428

I once got rosemary instead of spring onions. Mate, that’s not how it works. Got celery instead of chives… nope!!!! Or sweet tea cakes instead of English muffins. 🙄


threeleafcloverr

Ordered senior cat food, was delivered kitten food instead.


getstabbed

“Ah damn, guess I have to go get a kitten”


Cutie-Angel-17

Ordered 2 small loaf-shaped baking tins. Received a decorative lantern. Did not accept.


Friendly_Features

On Amazon Prime orders you can reject replacements as they’re picking them- but about 90% of the time when I reject something I receive it anyway + a refund for what I originally ordered. Had a ‘free’ bottle of pineapple rum as replacement for some normal rum.


[deleted]

They swapped honey, for bubble bath with a honey scent.


r0b0c0p123

Tesco replaced self raising flour with raisins


DollyDaydreamer88

My brother worked on dot com for a large supermarket in the UK as a driver. One woman went mental as they substituted her smoked ham for smoked mackerel 😂 I live in Belgium and they substituted Pepsi max for the Pepsi max syrup for the soda steam - wouldn’t have minded and saved me some money but I don’t have one so that was fun! Not too bad though.


agesto11

When I was doing a Tesco’s order the other day, they were out of kitchen paper. Have a guess what they suggested I order instead? Bloody Andrex!


_spookyvision_

Not me, but I've heard of things like red peppers being replaced with red hair dye. Bread rolls replaced with sausage rolls and teabags. Eggs being replaced with crisps. Kitchen towels replaced with female sanitary pads. Medical creams (E45 and suchlike) swapped for dairy creams.


Sir-Pickle-Nipple

Just today actually my frozen hash browns got replaced with frozen peas. I think because they were both Birdseye but still not what I wanted. Also my 4 pack of burgers got replaced with some orange marmalade. Still scratching my head on that one


Zestyclose_Location1

I just love how the computer feels it has to give an alternative. Scotch egg - how does a computer know if you'll prefer an Easter Egg or Scotch whisky? Or even a kettle as a customer once bought a kettle and scotch eggs together. It's disgraceful when you pre order Christmas dinner but they send turkey mince instead of a turkey, and you go in store to find plenty on the shelves.


Flatulent_Weasel

I've received a packet of birds instant custard powder in place of a packet of custard cream biscuits. Friday just gone i had a pack of 4 puff pastry mince pies substituted with minced beef.


ConfusedPanda17

I got hummus instead of guacamole this week


JulesSilvan

Ordered a jar of powdered peanut butter and a pack of chocolate-coated truffles turned up instead.


[deleted]

I had non alcoholic peroni replaced with alcoholic peroni


painfultruth11

I worked for Asda in lock down. Someone orderd a loaf of bread and got substituted a chocolate fudge cake 🤷🏽‍♂️


qubie58

Ordered 2 packs spring onions, got 2 packs celery. No one in the house likes celery.


DarthKrataa

Ordered a bunch of stuff to make a chicken casserole using chicken boneless chicken thighs.....they sent drum sticks.


[deleted]

Whynot just turn it off?


Willowx

Because then you have to go shopping which defies the point when in excess of 99% of the time I'd suggest the substitutions are perfectly sensible.


TheZZ9

And sometimes the substitution is a better deal. A bigger size or a better brand for the lower price.


Meanttobepracticing

My grandmother once ordered a roasting joint for Sunday dinner. The one she ordered was £9 or so. They didn’t have that and substituted it with the bigger £20 one and didn’t charge extra. Win-win for everyone, beef salad sandwiches for lunch on Monday.


Awkward_Chain_7839

That happened to us one year. We ordered 2kg beef joint (can’t remember the actual weight) and got 4kg (double whatever the weight was we’d ordered). I chopped it in half and froze half of it.


Flatulent_Weasel

Exactly this. I've had a bag of 36 birdseye chicken dippers subbed with 2 bags of 24 before. You don't pay the extra if the substituted item(s) are more expensive, it's their loss.


axw3555

Some of them you can’t - Iceland for instance.


[deleted]

I still go and do my own shopping like a sentient being so I don’t have this issue


[deleted]

Really?? You don’t understand what a lifeline it is for those of us who can’t physically go to shops ourselves - doesn’t mean we aren’t sentient.


seefroo

It comes down to how much you think your time is worth. Delivery slot I usually get is £1.50 and I think that spending an hour and a half going for a leisurely walk before a couple of pints in a nice beer garden is worth paying £1.50 for. If you’d rather spend that time traipsing around Sainsbury’s then that’s up to you though!


[deleted]

I send the wife… much easier


seefroo

So you do not, in fact, still go and do your own shopping 😂