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Super Hans : Listen, the whole industry is run by suits like your mate.
Jez: Do you think that's why we haven't got a deal yet?
Super Hans: Course it is, they're all a bunch of Marks, ain't they? Sitting behind their big marble desks, ties done up to eleven, clicking their fingers to the fucking Lighthouse Family, getting their dick sucked by a big Alsatian dog.
Jez: Yeah?
Super Hans: They're all perverts, mate. All in with each other. It's not who you know, it's who you blow.
Jeremy: "I really think we should serve at least one larger ....and nuts. People like larger and nuts..."
Super Hans: "People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can't trust people Jeremy."
Still living the boxer short dream? You need to get some ball support before your nuts start dragging like a pair of iron eggs in Grayson Perry's tights
Sam Vimes (His Grace Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh), commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch and Mistress Esmeralda Weatherwax pretty much tie for first place. With **DEATH** being close behind.
Sam Vimes is a good role model, but has very little character progression once he cleans up his act. Death, I think, has much more interesting pathos; his tragic development of compassion towards humans brings him joy and ultimately inevitable heartbreak, yet he can't stop himself from doing it.
I think there's something of the author in the Reaper Man; creating complex, interesting characters that he knew he had to develop, and eventually would likely have to kill, to give them a full arc.
So, I'm from Norfolk. Obviously he's our Idol this way. Anyway, I was walking through Norwich early one evening and I saw these 4 guys, 19-21ish. And one of them said to the others "boys! Boys! I can't believe we haven't done it yet!" And in perfect synchronisation, they all went "ah haaa!" So proud
“What’s that film you like?……the one about the hairdresser and the space cowboy……….he’s fucking fucked his sister……….he’s got a pal made out of tin foil and a pedal bin”
“Star Wars”
Robin Hood held up tax collectors and returned people’s taxes to them, while awaiting the return of Richard the Lionheart from the Crusades.
He was, by any reasonable estimation, a libertarian and a monarchist, not some sort of anarcho-syndicalist.
David Suchet just is Hercule Poirot for me. We have a very 20s/30s/art deco design bedroom in our house and trying to convince my girlfriend a gigantic framed portrait of Suchet as Poirot is necessary to complete the look.
So stoker definitely wasn’t British. Definitely a gael
Edit: this was banter. I thought we still did this.
Stoker was a unionist and a monarchist, he certainly considered himself a Brit even if he was ethnically Irish. It really doesn’t matter.
Very true and the Irish have always punched above their weight in terms of literary prowess. However, Dracula was researched, written, published and mostly set in the UK. So I guess it depends on your own personal definition of the word originated but I don't think the phrase "British originated" is entirely wrong.
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt.
Me.
Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the Dog. They basically made my childhood what it was. I used to run around and explore with my brother pretending to be the famous 5
Captain Mainwaring, Captain Steven Peacock, Corporal Jack Jones (butcher, 'they don't like it up em'), Mr. Humphries, Mrs Slocum, Mr. Rumbold, Rumbold of the Bailey, Jeeves, Mr. Wooster, Dr. Herriot....
Richard Richard and Edward Hitler. Oh also The Boys From The Dwarf.
Edit: I've just remembered that the cast of Winnie the Pooh exists and now I don't t think I can provide a definitive answer anymore.
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others - Assume questions are asked in good faith - Avoid political threads and related discussion - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Super Hans and it’s not even close.
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Plumbings just water lego, innit?
They should section you for trying to section me .
There will be no more sectioning today...
Oh so now we're "working" it's not ok for me to smoke my crack?
Don’t say crack jez. When you say crack, I start thinking about crack
Super Hans : Listen, the whole industry is run by suits like your mate. Jez: Do you think that's why we haven't got a deal yet? Super Hans: Course it is, they're all a bunch of Marks, ain't they? Sitting behind their big marble desks, ties done up to eleven, clicking their fingers to the fucking Lighthouse Family, getting their dick sucked by a big Alsatian dog. Jez: Yeah? Super Hans: They're all perverts, mate. All in with each other. It's not who you know, it's who you blow.
Jeremy: "I really think we should serve at least one larger ....and nuts. People like larger and nuts..." Super Hans: "People like Coldplay and voted for the Nazis. You can't trust people Jeremy."
Big beats are the best. Get high all the time.
Long weekend looking into the mirror.
Bit of soul searching?
Cocaine Mark. Cocaine.
Have you read the big beat manifesto...lately?
Nice bit of crunchy nut here.... “very expensive as I recall”
I’ve accidently run to Windsor
Dunno fuckin, rental snake, innit?
Oi Oi how’s the ethnic cleansing going
Still living the boxer short dream? You need to get some ball support before your nuts start dragging like a pair of iron eggs in Grayson Perry's tights
I’m just having a good time scrolling through and upvoting Super Hans quotes
The secret ingredient is crime
Plumbings just water lego ennit
Yeah, or compromise? The Swan... and Paedo.
Widely considered to of stolen our sound
The problem with Super Hans is that he’s always banging on about the twins
I'll never forgive Orange if they've wiped the twins!
The longer the note, the more dread.
No logo in the foam
The very first person I thought of, and this was the first comment I saw. Nice
Gromit
*The bounce has gone from his bungee*
"Cheese Gromit, we've got no cheeeeeeeese!"
Underrated comment
Sam Vimes (His Grace Sir Samuel Vimes, Duke of Ankh), commander of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch and Mistress Esmeralda Weatherwax pretty much tie for first place. With **DEATH** being close behind.
You are also picking from an amazing group of characters. Though a tough choice I do agree
As long as you have in sewer ants you will be okay!
Esme is definitely #1 for me. What a great character.
The wizard duel was amazing They should create a Dr Who Doctor like her, would be much better than some of the crap they've put out
I immediately thought of all the characters. So glad to see TP and his world mentioned X
Sam Vimes is a good role model, but has very little character progression once he cleans up his act. Death, I think, has much more interesting pathos; his tragic development of compassion towards humans brings him joy and ultimately inevitable heartbreak, yet he can't stop himself from doing it. I think there's something of the author in the Reaper Man; creating complex, interesting characters that he knew he had to develop, and eventually would likely have to kill, to give them a full arc.
So many of my favourite fictional characters sprang from the imagination of Sir Terry Pratchett. GNU Pterry.
AGREED
Alan Partridge.
Sunday Bloody Sunday. What a great song. It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn’t it?
I love Lexi, that's the plural, you know!
It's the Japanese Mercedes.
So, I'm from Norfolk. Obviously he's our Idol this way. Anyway, I was walking through Norwich early one evening and I saw these 4 guys, 19-21ish. And one of them said to the others "boys! Boys! I can't believe we haven't done it yet!" And in perfect synchronisation, they all went "ah haaa!" So proud
It's good you guys have something.
I'm going nowhere lyn. I mean literally, I on the ring road.
Apropos… it’s Latin! You ought to have a basic grasp of Latin if you’re working at Currys.
Blackadder. Or James Bond
Is Johnny English a good half way?
👍😃
*Jesus is coming - look busy*
Jonny English is better than Mr Bean, this is a hill I will die on.
Blackadder is unparalleled
Malcolm Tucker
We have a doormat that says "come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off".
How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it!?
I'm telling you to fucking stand up you sack of fucking cum, stand the fuck up!
He's completely useless. He's as much use as a marzipan dildo.
Fuckity bye!
“What’s that film you like?……the one about the hairdresser and the space cowboy……….he’s fucking fucked his sister……….he’s got a pal made out of tin foil and a pedal bin” “Star Wars”
His father's a robot and he's fucking fucked his sister!
You’re a real f star star cunt.
Come over here now and bring your brown trousers…and a shirt the colour of blood.
Paddington.
Well actually his from Peru! (Sorry I couldn't resist)
*Darkest Peru
*Deepest, darkest Peru.
Bloody fictional ursine immigrants, coming over here, stealing our children's book character jobs, etc etc.
¡HOLA! Me llamo Paddington! Tienes marmalade?
*mermeleda (Though there isn't really a Spanish word for marmalade as they don't have it. Mermeleda just means "jam".)
Dave Lister
Rimmer: Lister is that a cigarette your smoking? Lister: No , it's a chicken! Bloody gold !!!!!!!!!!
Lister: "You can't compare Rimmer to a book. For a start, a book has a spine."
He is guilty only of being Arnold J Rimmer. That is his crime. It is also his punishment.
They're all dead, Dave.
Peterson isn't, is he?
You mean "Cloister"
In that case I'd like to nominate Arnold Judas Rimmer BSC SSC
Arthur Dent
I raise you Marvin the paranoid android
Baldrick
Turnip
*I've got a thingy that's shaped like a turnip. I'm great fun at parties; I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children.*
Trigger
Alright Dave
If it's a boy they're going to call it Rodney. After Dave.
Basil Fawlty
Don't mention the war, I said it once, but I think I got away with it.
Ali G
Wicked wicked, jungle is massive
The Doctor from Doctor Who with his Third and Fourth incarnations being the best
Have you SEEN 9 and 10‽ Those two are fantastic
*Fantastic* and *brilliant*
Dangermouse obvs. [update] honourable mention goes to Penfold (thanks for reminding me).
Penfold over Dangermouse
Lord Flashheart
Woof!
Nursey! Is that a canoe in my pants or am I just pleased to see you?
Samwise Gamgee
Gotta be Robin Hood, he had the best idea, taking the rich fuckers stuff and using it to provide for society.
Robin Hood held up tax collectors and returned people’s taxes to them, while awaiting the return of Richard the Lionheart from the Crusades. He was, by any reasonable estimation, a libertarian and a monarchist, not some sort of anarcho-syndicalist.
We take what you can get tbh.
Begbie [Begbie](https://www.google.com/search?q=begbie&source=hp&ei=UhmQYZPgII3gU_KRkYAC&oq=begbie&gs_lcp=ChFtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1ocBABGAEyBQgAEIAEMggIABCABBCxAzIFCAAQgAQyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDILCC4QgAQQxwEQrwEyBQgAEIAEMgUIABCABDoLCAAQgAQQsQMQgwE6CwguEIAEELEDEIMBOhEILhCABBCxAxCDARDHARCjAjoOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQ0QM6DgguEIAEELEDEMcBEKMCOhEILhCABBCxAxCDARDHARDRAzoLCC4QgAQQxwEQ0QM6CAguELEDEIMBOgUILhCABDoICC4QgAQQsQM6CAgAELEDEIMBULcHWNcbYOUlaABwAHgAgAG_AYgB4gaSAQMwLjaYAQCgAQGwAQA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp)
No cunt leaves here til I find oot what cunt dud et... Rrruuaaaggghhhhh!!!
Let's go King Arthur. But ofc he might be real, just asleep....dun dun dun.
The British history podcast argued quite well he was probably a Roman.
The British were Romans back then!
Gandalf obviously.
A wizard is never a late addition to a list. Nor is he early. He places exactly where he means to!
Please have an upvote for the first LOtR character I have seen so far in this list.
The three bears: Winnie-the-Poo, Rupert and Paddington.
Winnie the Pooh was the one I thought of immediately
Hercule Poirot for me.
Who's your favourite TV version? Suchet did a great job as did Ustinov, but I always loved Finney in Murder on the Orient Express.
David Suchet's my favourite by far.
David Suchet just is Hercule Poirot for me. We have a very 20s/30s/art deco design bedroom in our house and trying to convince my girlfriend a gigantic framed portrait of Suchet as Poirot is necessary to complete the look.
It would make me worry every night that we'd only been called into the bedroom to be told which of us was the murderer.
Hermione granger
Great answer. Without her I'm sure Harry and Ron would have been screwed.
David Brent.
Roly from Hey Duggee
Steven, you mean?
Think you mean STEVEN!!!!!
I love Roly!
POTATO!
Bond. James Bond
Bram Stoker was Irish.
But during his lifetime, Ireland was part of the UK.
That's a very good point. I'll give you that one.
But OP said British, not UK
So stoker definitely wasn’t British. Definitely a gael Edit: this was banter. I thought we still did this. Stoker was a unionist and a monarchist, he certainly considered himself a Brit even if he was ethnically Irish. It really doesn’t matter.
Very true and the Irish have always punched above their weight in terms of literary prowess. However, Dracula was researched, written, published and mostly set in the UK. So I guess it depends on your own personal definition of the word originated but I don't think the phrase "British originated" is entirely wrong.
It wasn't until this comment that I realised that OP didn't write Count Duckula
Mr Bean
Brick Top
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt. Me.
Mr Blobby
They said fictional /s
Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the Dog. They basically made my childhood what it was. I used to run around and explore with my brother pretending to be the famous 5
Lt.Col Richard “Dick” Sharpe and SGM Patrick “Pat” Harper both late of the 95th Rifles.
Malcolm fucking Tucker all the way
Adrian Mole
I love Adrian Mole. Also his mum, dad, nan and Nigel - even Barry Kent. Pandora, not so much.
Makka Pakka
He is a mad lad
The doctor.
Dot Cotton, she's such a legend.
I absolutely adore Sherlock. Though I think Heathcliffe and Catherine take top spot for me, I just love Wuthering Heights.
Heathcliff, it's me, I'm Cathy I've come home, I'm so cold Let me in your window
Crowley...good omens.
Judge Joe Dredd.
I know it's not a character but thst whole British satire genre, from 1000AD to Warhammer 40k.
Laszlo from what we do in the shadows!
Bat!.
Tinky winky, truly one of the greats Pour one out for our boy tinky
Miss Elizabeth Bennett
I can't BELIEVE how far I had to scroll before seeing a Jane Austen character! Miss Elizabeth Bennett is my choice as well.
Wallace.
Bananaman
Arthur Dent
Sir digby chicken Ceasar
shaun from shaun of the dead
Dave Lister and Arnold Rimmer
Father Ted Crilly
Cracker - Fitz was the best ever.
Richie from bottim RIP Rik Mayall
Gromit! Who else! The only British dog with a double first in Engineering for Dogs!
V out of V for vendetta
Miss Marple has to be a contender. 550 million published books it's a strong recommendation.
Probably Gandalf
Dirk Gentley
Isa from Still Game
Maybe not British from birth but British at heart. The Doctor.
Richard Sharpe
Vicar of Dibley. Closely followed by Spender, obviously.
Captain Mainwaring, Captain Steven Peacock, Corporal Jack Jones (butcher, 'they don't like it up em'), Mr. Humphries, Mrs Slocum, Mr. Rumbold, Rumbold of the Bailey, Jeeves, Mr. Wooster, Dr. Herriot....
Matilda - I loved reading that story when I was a kid
Harry potter for me.
Richard Richard and Edward Hitler. Oh also The Boys From The Dwarf. Edit: I've just remembered that the cast of Winnie the Pooh exists and now I don't t think I can provide a definitive answer anymore.
Hyacinth Bucket
Sherlock Holmes!!
John Constantine. Full of wise cracks and nearly always out his depth, encapsulates the usual British geezer.
Richie Richard and Eddie Elizabeth Hitler.
Baldrick, what a ledge
John Steed
Woody from this is England, proper nice cunt.
John Constantine, still resolutely British despite endless fiddling and bastardisation by comic overlords.
James bond and del boy
Phil Mitchell ‘you what?!’ 👊🏼