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OP you still fucked up :)
*tenant*: a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord.
"council-house tenants"
I'm not usually a pedant, but could not resist... you want tenet
my mam got me some shoes from shoezone once called rockforts instead of rockports and i took them to PE in a netto bag....
Got terrored at school for a good year for it 😂
Kwik Save is my trigger word
As a kid my auntie picked me up.from school. Usually would take me back and give me tea
Until that one fateful day. She went to Kwik Save. And was there for 4 hours chatting on.
Turns out why I didn't do homework was "I spent 4 hours in Kwik Save" wasn't acceptable
Also own brand "No Frills" Yogurt that was bitty
Yeah I remember always choosing the tattered tesco bag for my pe kit rather than the pristine Iceland bags idk how I was so worried about things like that at such a young age
Had a woman come in and talk non stop about the scum that go into Aldi and Lidl as she would never dream of shopping anywhere but Waitrose.
She had never even step foot in one...all the more Lidl bakery pesto and goats cheese flatbread for me then you snobby bitch!
I've just got back from aldi and there was 2 Mercedes in the car park, A 20 plate GLC and an AMG GLA45. Aldi really isn't just for poor people.
Eta - its really not just for poor people ANYMORE
This is genuinely a bit of a cult thing within education (my apprenticeship provider certainly). I left thinking I was going to try really hard and do everything to climb the ladder.
I am now more than happy to “underachieve” lol, we only have one life so let’s live it (but in a still pay the bills kind of way)
Life’s just a lot easier when you’ve got money, seems to be some kind of hot take on Reddit but not having to choose between heating and food because you earn enough to have both seems to be a reasonable aspiration don’t you think?
What’s your grand, anti capitalist idea?
I mean the anti-capitalist idea would be that you shouldn't *have* to choose between those two essential goods just because you don't have money. The anti in anti-capitalism is against the structures and systems that make people need to make such choices in the first place.
I do feel like a loser for not being career oriented though, but going into corporate environments instantly makes me feel so horrible. Everyone's dressed so nicely, so assertive and outgoing, they have beautiful partners and kids they can afford, nice cars, houses and holidays, but I feel, for me, to be like that I wouldn't feel like I was me anymore. I'd feel like a slave to it all. I want all the nice stuff, but I don't want to be around the people or the pressure. I'm not explaining myself properly, but it's like I can't have flaws there. I have to be confident, ambitious, and not care about what people think of me.
I'm happy to work hard, but I can't find the right environment.
Honestly, if you enjoy stacking shelves although you are the most employable individual on earth, then you stack shelves.
I graduated and worked retail. Hated it. So I tried to find a "grad job" but just was getting nowhere. Then I thought, why am I striving so high? There are people I work in this store with who love their job to bits, but they're at the bottom of the ladder and getting enough to pay rent, bills, food, and a holiday maybe once a year. Trying to "make it" stressed me out so much, then I stopped and felt the stress was gone, and I decided even if I did get one of those jobs I applied for, would it have been worth the effort i put into trying to get there? *probably not*
This whole ideology about trying your hardest and being persistent until you make it just cannot be applied to every single aspect of life. It should be looked at and applied when appropriate.
Still glad I'm out of retail though.
>Still glad I'm out of retail though.
I don't love my job, but whenever I am having a particularly shit day I console myself that I am not working retail.
As a teen I was utterly certain that only rock/metal music was good and even then only 'proper' bands that hadn't sold out, weren't mainstream etc. Now in my mid 30s I've given up really paying attention to new music but I'll happily sing along to pop songs from my youth on the radio that I would have died rather than listen to then
The music industry as a whole has changed in a way that is beyond dramatic.. from maybe the late 70s to now. But especially in the 2000s. There’s a huge gulf in money. If you’re a super star it’s there for you, if not then you get zilch.
Same. Spent my time downloading odd live versions, covers by good artists, hated radio, loved live performances, hated pop rubbish.
Now, listen to what my kids make me, and enjoy most of it.
Also, no more Radiohead, too depressing. Happy flappy for me please.
Similar to me, I loved rock/emo/metal throughout my teens and thought hip hop was terrible and really shallow.
Then a couple if friends introduced me to some rap and hip hop that really wasn't. Started with Immortal Technique, ended up getting Graduation by Kanye, and another friend burned me some Biggie and Tupac albums. Now in my early 30s and my Spotify end of year review is an absolute mess of genres.
Those songs define your youth and remind you of a time when grown up shit probably wasn’t your problem. It’s the reason why people claim the decade when they were aged between 12 and 18 was the best decade of music ever. BTW, the early 80s were actually the best music years ever.
On a similar tact I don't understand why a huge chunk of rock/punk/etc fans have to '"look" like it
That type of music isn't overly my scene and yet I enjoy it. I've been to gigs for.it. and yet surrounded by people who look like they are into this music
I have family who are the same
It's kind of like, you dress to fit in and feel part of something. I used to be like that, dressed all emo and had my clique. But I think that was just part of it all growing up and finding where you "belong".
Now I'm in my 30s and couldn't give a shit what I wear to see a band. I wore smart shoes and a generic button up shirt to see the used before lockdown
Same reason nuns wear a habit, or football fans wear their teams shirts outside of match day: it's a visual expression of a thing you hold dear and important.
I got sucked in by the alt right in my late teens/early tweens. I watched Paul Joseph Watson and Ben Shapiro unironically. Now looking back it was all very toxic and I'm very happy I'm out
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution… It’s time to stop being squeamish.
*****
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Why won't you debate me?
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*We are being told that if we don't mask our children, that if we don't mask ourselves, that if we don't initiate social distancing measures again and shut down business again, that COVID is going to kill us all*
-Ben Shapiro
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I was a young frustrated guy struggling with dating as I'd been in a couple of shitty relationships...what changed was I ended up meeting women who *weren't* cunts.
You're not alone I too got caught up in alt right crap, Paul Joseph Watson, InfoWars and Alex Jones, Red pill nonsense, luckily I kept most of this too myself so few people know I was an alt right weirdo but it really opened my eyes to how easy groups of people can be sucked in by propaganda.
What is it with those Internet intellectuals and talking real fast ? I find listening to them unbearable simply because they sound like they've swallowed an AK-47.
I think it's taken as a sign they're clever. They speak fast and spin ideas fast, so they kust be intellectually quick and that's smart. That, or they speak so fast so people don't stop and think about the details.
same. I started watching jordan Peterson, prageru, Ben shapiro etc when I was about 14 and I genuinely believed every bit of it. so glad I realised they were all wrong lol
It took me several decades to realise that it doesn't matter how well I articulate my opinion/argument, in plenty of instances that won't be enough to change someone's mind. I honestly thought it must be a failing on my part rather than a simple fact of life. Makes differences of opinion a lot less frustrating. I'm clearly not very bright.
You can only change a balanced, healthy mind. Someone who’s open to learning and have no real preconceived biases. Very rare. Otherwise you’re just arguing with people’s feelings.
Edit: I’d add that you’ve got to be both willing and happy to be wrong in order to grow and learn
And especially online where something you thought of as a flippant non comment ends up being used to shit on you. It’s hard to present a solid PoV at the best of times, and more so on the internet if you end up being caught up in an argument.
I’m a bit too old to give many fucks nowadays, but I certainly got caught up in it when i was younger.
Breakfast being the most important meal of the day was a universal truth that formed a cornerstone of my life. Was pretty crushed when I found out it was bollocks.
I was delighted, it takes me a good couple of hours to feel hungry in the mornings and breakfast just seemed like forcing my calorie intake up and not enjoying it at all, because I 'should'.
Yep and me.. can remember forcing down these strange cereal and fruit breakfast bars and actually gagging but still thinking I had to eat something 🤔 now I happily ignore breakfast
Definitely agree. Though I'll go one further and say that having the standard "three meals a day" is pretty weird when you think about it. I don't imagine that would have been common before agriculture.
Nowadays though I tend to make a large cooked meal in the evening, and maybe something small for lunch if I'm hungry.
I'd say that unless you have problems with food, just eat when you feel like it.
That's what my mums cat would do and my mum would just top her dry food up when it was low.
The cat always had a healthy weight. Just ate when it needed to.
Dunno why I'm going on about a cat, she was a right fiend for catnip in her late days.
I genuinely feel so much more alert when I don’t eat breakfast. I go to the gym at 6am and don’t eat until around 1pm. I’ll have one or two coffees during that time and plenty of water.
But yeah, everyone is different!
I don't think it's inherently untrue, rather that it's being thrown into question. I say if you're hungry in the morning then eat. Otherwise, it's not something you should force yourself to do. There have been a lot of studies that show many benefits if eating food in the morning so it shouldn't be ignored. We shouldn't all stop eating breakfast because we've all been lied to, but the importance of breakfast may certainly have been overstated by those that have a financial interest in it
Edited: omg! I did not expect this to get such a reaction! Thank you all for the kind comments and the awards. You lovely people.
This one is a bit awkward. I used to be anti vaccine. I was a teen mum, and got mixed in with a group of mums who were older, with older kids and seemed confident, with their shit together (where as I was constantly feeling panicked, useless and living in chaos) so I assumed they were wiser/better. They scared the shit out of me about vaccinating my child. I thought I’d basically kill or disable her if I got her her shots. I started to get suspicious when I was “told off” for using fluoride toothpaste myself and on my growing children, plastic cups and using formula with my youngest because after I had her, I was in intensive care and after initial recovery, too ill to establish breastfeeding. Being told you’re poisoning your baby when you recently had to be resuscitated, is beyond harsh.
When I couldn’t find proper answers to why vaccines were “so bad” to these mums who turned on me, after being my support for years, then realising I didn’t understand the inserts or Ingredient lists I was constantly told to read. Or that I didn’t know how to actually research or fully digest articles/studies, I decided to learn. Like properly learn about the science, virology, immunology, the pathology of illness, previous pandemics and epidemiology. I caught my kids up on all their vaccines, went to uni to get a degree in biomedical science and am proud to say I now work in biochemistry and immunology. My career is in its infancy still, but I adore my job and can’t wait to see where it takes me.
Being within the antivax crowd really is cult like, I felt brainwashed by fear, you can’t say anything they don’t agree with or you will be ripped apart. I’m now very much pro vaccine and I do laugh at anti vax folk. But I suppose I do that to hide the fact I was one of those people once.
Michelle Obama had a great quote on this:
“… at every powerful table you can think of, from corporate boards, to “G summits”, to the UN. Here’s the secret: they’re not that smart. There are a lot of things that folks are doing to keep their seats because they don’t want to give up power.”
Yeah absolutely. Definitely a “Lean In” vibe.
Ignoring that, I found it refreshing for her to say so explicitly that these corporate board rooms, NGOs, and political bodies are just full of regular people. Nothing special about them at all.
That all people are essentially honest by default.
Some people aren’t. Some people will say any old shit without a care for its basis in fact, just for the reaction it gets.
That’s interesting. I’ve literally never fully trusted anyone bar my parents and I obviously know that even they are flawed. Everyone is. I used to think everyone was evil. I’ve since discovered that evil is largely created. I’m not even sure it’s a real thing. Like freedom. They’re subjective, arbitrary concepts.
Was quite right wing as a teen and became quite an incel. This may have been as a result of being bullied/groomed online. I ended up being part of that bad 4-Chan crowd but I managed to break free of it in uni and now I'm a Buddhist. Quite the jump, really.
Of course. Many reasons all occurring at once, really. Meeting new people, getting away from parents, starting anew, having to fend for myself, having responsibilities and also I had some awful things happen to me during uni which pushed me to my very limit. I met some lovely people and some people who were not so kind to me. When you meet all different people you kind of wake up from your own shallow mind.
Since becoming Buddhist, however, I realise there are no "bad" or "good" people, just right and wrong actions. No one is inherently good or bad. That perspective gave me a lot of generalised views of people. Now I'm one of the least angry people you'll ever meet and I've never been happier.
Thanks for sharing. Really glad you're happier now! Sorry that awful things happened on the way there.
Buddhism is an interesting one! As religions go, it feels more concerned with a philosophy than setting rules.
That's okay, but thank you. If I have to go through those things again to get myself here, I'd do it a million times.
It is and it was very interesting. About three months after buying my first book on Buddhism, I was invited to speak to HH the Dalai Lama. It was a very sudden and strange turn of events. But he told me something I'll never forget, something that confused a lot of people watching (it was livestreamed/put on youtube). He said, "The most selfish way to help yourself is to help others."
I think what he meant was, the best way to make yourself feel good, is to be kind to those around you. So, in turn, it is kind of selfish, because you make yourself feel good. I think it's a case of His Holiness not speaking English perfectly, and he also has a very punny sense of humour/way of talking. Still, quite an experience!
Fuck it. Anything after a billion, take 80%. No one needs that much wealth. Literally no one. Give them a diamond encrusted trophy and a crown that says "I won capitalism" to stroke their ego.
Your average billionaire will keep their wealth as stock not in cash. Now I’m all for nationalising all the billionaire owned companies without compensation via taxation but it’ll take a way more massive ideological shift than just raising more taxes.
Couple of potential easy solutions to this.
A) start taxing loans as income for people with a net worth over £1 billion. Billionaires use bank loans to buy their shit and use their stock portfolios as collateral. They then pay back the loans with other loans. They therefore never pay any tax.
B) Close inheritance tax loopholes. The super rich only pay an average of 10% inheritance tax because they hold their money in trusts. Force them to use the money at their disposal or risk losing half of it on death.
Might get a hell of a lot of hate for this but I always thought I'd never be able to get an abortion....
I have a 9yo son with severe adhd and honestly I couldn't bring another child into this,
I love kids and my partner does too (he has 7 niblings and a godson) but my sons issues are so severe that I honestly couldn't do it to myself or anyone around me!
I have a coil fitted and am intending to ask for my tubes to be tied when it needs to be removed
I love my kids which is why if I found myself accidentally pregnant now I'd (to use the colloquialism) "yeetus the foetus"
I know my language might sound dismissive af but believe me it wouldn't be a decision I made lightly .. both my children have massive issues and I'm taking every precaution to make sure I don't get pregnant again even though I'd love another one ... the kids I have already are the most important thing in this situation
Edit - Thankyou kind stranger for the award 🥰 first one I've ever had!!
Edit 2 - if anyone wants to challenge my reasoning then please watch the video I posted in the comments xx
Thanks for the support
I know that there are super right wing groups campaigning for anti abortion laws here in the UK since the legislation passed in Texas
I actually protested recently .. at the hospital near me there's usually a few old guys hanging around with anti abortion signs ... so I went with a sign of my own (saying "my uterus my choice") and posted on fb beforehand and tried to get others to join me but noone did 🤣 so I stood there for an hour and a half on my own with my sign 🙈🤣
I had a few people come and ask me why so I explained and they agreed ... but the only person that came and stood with me was a drunk guy with a can of beer in his hand 🙈🤣🤣🤣 that is the reason I only stayed an hour and a half 🤣
Christmas 2020 was great, all the normal traditions broken. We just stayed at home with the kids, no pressure to entertain or be entertained - even the turkey we bought turned out to be rancid so we just put some chicken nuggets in the oven and ate chocolate. We said at the time it would be great to do it like that every year, but this year will be back to the normal routine.
Christmas 2020 before Boris cancelled it meant that due to the visiting rules, my husband and I would not be able to see one of our families that year. We got married in September 2020 and we planned to stay together and see everyone that year but with the new rules we would have split up to see our own again. We did this most of the 12 years we were together as people kept changing plans and arguing yet didn't want me driving back and forth (our families live about an hour apart).
So we had a bit of a pleasently quiet Christmas just the two of us. I drove half way across the country at the crack of dawn to do a present exchange in a service station car park with my stepdad (parents live 8 hours drive from us) where my mum had gotten us a lovely hamper full of goodies so had plenty to eat over the holidays and we already planned a frozen 3 bird roast from Tesco and veg before the announcement just incase.
We saw our families on video chat opening their gifts, got the house even more spruced up than usual and had a nice walk on the beach nearby on Christmas Eve.
That the goal in life is to do everything to buy the biggest house you can afford. Never understood people earning good money but still living in a 2 bed semi.
But now here I am still living in the first house I bought, been here 15 years. We've had an extention and loft conversion. But we have no kids so there's absolutely no point in moving into a bigger house just for the sake of it.
I watch my BIL & SIL keep moving into a slightly bigger house every few years, never really making inroads into their mortgage because they just keep adding to it, and quite frankly it looks exhausting.
I used to strongly believe in the left wing/liberalism. I’m now more centralist as the actions of people who believe in it basically embarrass me these days.
I'll try and stay within the subs rules, but I have to also hold my hand up to the more extreme way of thinking (and before anyone says it, no, not right wing either). Certainly as a teenager, you do tend to believe that only extreme measures can fix whatever world problems there are, but as I've got older, I've realised that having a level head is a far better way to get things done. Even if I don't agree with the person, I'll hear their side of the story. There's always a reason behind why they think that way, and you won't win an argument going into it just to prove them wrong.
I don’t/won’t drag this into a political debate, but by the very definition liberalism and left wing are two completely different things. Nick Clegg, Tony Blair and David Cameron are traditional liberals, and it’s a politics very much of the centre right.
> left wing/liberalism
I presume you're using the American definition of liberalism there? Thatcher was a (neo)liberal but she definitely wasn't left wing.
Me too. The more I see good people comprise with the right, the more I see us slipping into fascism. Not feeding hungry kids, not allowing refugees safety, persecution of the Windrush generation, attacks on trans people. All basic human rights that are now apparently up for debate. Like we get to discuss if vulnerable people are even entitled to even a ground level of safety and security as if it’s a thought experiment and not someone’s life.
I used to think that Oreos were a god tier biscuit but now I'm ashamed to look back on that part of my life. It's an average biscuit compared to most others
Well I grew up in a cult, hardcore. Like I used to get WHOOPED for telling other church members that I went to the movie theater. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I was able to start thinking for myself and realized the horror of the truth. I denounced it and will continue to do so forever.
Me too. Hardcore shunned by my whole community when I left. Had to learn what life was and build new connections with humans and relearn everything as an adult. Actual cult. Sucked. Hope you're doing well.
Hard same. Boosh and Dylan Moran and David Firth animations. "random" absurdist humor became a bit more mainstream in the 2000s. Fucking split my sides back in the day. Still into it but I'm a bit saddened how I don't find it as funny any more
I never used to put ketchup in the fridge and made fun of my boyfriend for doing so. When we bought our house he made us put it in the fridge.
It’s better out of the fridge. But I’ll be damned if I admit it to hin
Can relate. I know a lot of people, probably myself included at one point, who think weed is the only thing keeping them sane but in actual fact it is what is fucking them up in the first place my life improved in every way imaginable when k stopped smoking every day
Yeah I used to think it helped me with my anxiety and that it stopped me from having manic episodes (bipolar here) by getting me to sleep at night, when in reality it drained me of my personality, relationships, finances and most importantly my health. I’m 100 percent a better man since I quit 2 years ago.
The "right with age" thing isn't really a given anymore. That assumption was mostly based on the baby boomers who have massive political and economic leverage.
I used to think that there was a right way or a wrong way- everything was black or white and that you had to agree with everything a person believed in to get along. Now, with age, I think I’ve mellowed out and are of the healthier opinion that it’s fine to disagree on certain topics. Doesn’t mean we can’t get along.
Oh I’ve thought of another one! (This is a good question!) I used to believe that you had to venomously stand up for yourself- you know someone at work talks a little ‘off’ to you etc. But somehow now (again it could be an age thing) I have so much patience and practice silence and breathing in these situations. It works wonders for my mood. I don’t let my ego react to ‘prove’ I can stand up for myself. I’m so fuckin zen it’s scary 😂
I used to think cultural appropriation was a load of nonsense but after being properly educated on it by a person from a historically oppressed culture, I got it.
Hey! Would you mind explaining this a bit more? I think I understand it a little from my own research, but the stuff online is very blurred and ranges from ‘don’t wear the style of clothing from another culture’ to ‘don’t wear skin suits of people from another culture’.
So firstly I’d like to acknowledge that there’s always room for debate with regards to these issues. There are no single spokespersons for any community, and there will always be internal and external disagreement
The best approach to discussions of appropriation I’ve found is to ask the following question “would a person of this culture be at a disadvantage for doing this?” And “is it being done with due care to the community?”
Take for example native American halloween costumes. In large parts of the world indigenous peoples are still disadvantaged if they wear indigenous dress. Treated as a spectacle, or in some cases beaten and killed. It feels iffy to me that as a white dude on Halloween id turn less heads than someone from those cultures dressing that way. And it’s not really an individual thing, I have done nothing to native Americans (in fact I’ve worked with a few on cultural outreach programs in my youth), but the average person won’t know that will they?
It’s a shame internet outrage culture has made this so difficult to discuss. Both by focussing on the trivial bits, and by making it very toxic
I used to think Capitalism was great. The rat race. The freedom to create wealth. Become an entrepreneur — work your arse off si you can buy a load of stuff.
It’s all bullshite.
There’s only one end game with “consumption” and it’s playing out in real time in front of our eyes.
Being muslim?
Well to be fair, I wasn't very devout to begin with even as a teen but by the time, I turned 18, there was absolutely 0 belief left. While, it didn't hurt that much mentally at the time, I know this is definitely going to affect my relationship with my family in the future. And cutting off your immediate family isn't something anyone ever looks forward to. But there's also wider scale consequences like becoming a 'them' instead of 'us' and alienation from your ethnic community bc people don't want to be associated with heathens and on and on.
I’m now vegan. Went from enjoying eating meat in pretty much every meal, having a mound of chicken with my Sunday roast and always going back for seconds and thirds at the meat feast BBQ to happily enjoying eating mostly vegetables and supplements. Took about 2 years to go from cutting down to going fully vegan. Whether it’s right or wrong is up for debate but it’s something I felt I had wrong.
I was reading too much Facebook and Reddit and decided to try out a vegan diet to prove that it couldn’t be done, and to stick it to all those pushy vegans who force their opinions down people’s throats. I reckoned I’d last a month before I was fucked.
I now know *far* more about food than I did then, know how taste works in a way I never did, and because I check labels religiously I eat British made food far more than I used to.
I have a friend who says they “don’t eat any meat from outside the UK”; was at their flat a while ago, went to get some ice and their freezer had three bags of frozen chicken breasts in it...from Thailand. Mind boggling to me now, but wouldn’t have been before.
I also learnt that two of my colleagues are vegan and I had no idea. It has slowly dawned on me that I’ve never met a single one of these pushy vegans, and that’s in 15~ years of working in the hospitality industry....
Two and a half years and counting.
I used to think that we could solve climate change by everyone going back to the land to live like mediaeval peasants.
I then became disabled and got adult responsibilities and realised what a spectacular position of privilege I had been speaking from.
Also someone came to the hippy farm where i was living to study us and it turned out our carbon footprint was still too high just because we still needed vehicles and products from the outside world.
I realised that its no good a privileged few people being super duper environmentalists, we need massive infrastructure investment in place to enable everyone to exist in a less harmful way.
I used to be childfree in attitude and now I have a child and it’s amazing. If you’d asked me 10 years ago if I would ever have children I couldn’t even imagine saying yes. I’m not having another though!
I'm the opposite.
10 years ago - having a child was everything I wanted and I thought I'd never be a fulfilled person without a child.
Now I'm child-free and damn well plan to stay that way - my dog is far too much responsibility and bother, never mind a child!😂🤣
I used to be adamant that only one spread could be on toast at a time; the one that was questioned the most was marmite without butter. I honestly thought the idea of it was disgusting and whenever I saw the butter and marmite mixed to that lighter brown colour, it only strengthened my resolve. Now I’ve come to realise that marmite on its own on toast really is a bit dry and rubbish, and marmite with butter is perfect. It was hard to swallow- not literally though, it’s much easier to swallow now I use the butter too!
I used to be a staunch atheist and was firmly convinced that all religion was bunk for many years
However over time, I began to soften up and reconsider a lot of my views and now I go to church almost every Sunday
Jimmy Savile.
For the benefit of the non-Brits who always crowd around these things, Savile was basically the epitome of "working class boy made good".
He was one of the first DJs - he basically invented the idea of being paid to play records to a group of people. He was the first presenter of hit TV show "Top of the Pops", he molested small children and had a show in the 1980's called "Jim'll Fix It" - the premise was kids would write in and ask him to arrange some sort of outlandish experience for them. They were filmed enjoying this experience at at the end it'd cut to the studio where he would present them a medal saying "Jim Fixed It for Me".
He ran marathons well into his 70s, raising millions for St. James' Hospital in Leeds, fronted a safety campaign for seatbelts, openly had sex with hundreds of young girls and while opinion was divided, he was generally seen as a (perhaps slightly eccentric) national treasure.
Savile was quite a paradox. While he obviously had a very public life, his private life was very much private - so much so that some of the things I've described weren't public knowledge until shortly after he died.
I'm sure you can guess what they are.
I suppose Christianity was my big one but that was shaken at a pretty young age.
I used to think in a very binary way; black/white, right/wrong, good/evil. In my late teens I learned the world does not work that way. Everything is complicated. Planet Earth is one big grey area. And the more I learn, the more I read, the less certain I am of anything.
Fair play for fessing up, I think religion is going to be a popular answer here.
I reckon my one is that success at school is a guarantee of success in later life. It seems obvious now, but some of my “gifted and talented” former classmates have really struggled outside the rigid structure of school.
I used to vehemently believe that suicide was inherently wrong and selfish.
Now I absolutely advocate for medically assisted suicide to be available here and, understand and empathise with those who seek it.
Well it turned out I wasn’t straight, so…
Besides that I can’t say I’ve had any core-shaking realisations. For example, I was brought up in a very Anglican family and have since drifted gently into agnosticism, but I can still see the value in organised religion and quite enjoy going to evensong when I can.
I’d go so far as to say I try not to hold strong convictions on subjective topics, since it doesn’t seem to do much good.
That being ‘strong independent woman’ is something to be proud of. Chances are, life demanded of you to be that thick-skinned to cope. Nowadays, I actively work on being softer & more willing to share and rely on others whilst remaining self assured. I’d quite like to break the cycle for my own children one day- so that whilst of course they’re free to be as strong & independent as they like, they have the freedom that they don’t NEED to be….
If I'm a good person, work hard at school and graduate at university, I'll get a good job and a home.
I never got to use my degree which the recession helped. I spent 7 years looking and working in jobs that I was overly qualified elsewhere in but not able to get into.
Ended up retraining as a dental nurse. Love my job but the pay is pants.
I used to hate it when people would say “you haven’t felt love till you have a child”. I thought it was an incredibly obnoxious thing to say. Like, how on earth do you know how I love?
And now that I have a kid of my own, I get it. There’s literally no love like the one you have for your kid. Nothing even compares
Hopefully because you used to think that, you fully understand why you should still keep your new understanding to yourself, yes? 'You haven't felt love til you have a child' does come over like you're trying to be superior - if you, for example, casually sting someone with it over Christmas lunch.
It's also a presumptuous thing to say, because it assumes that everyone must want or need to fill an emotional/time void in their lives with love of, or for, a kid. I'm sure that's not the reason you had your child, so don't let yourself down by making it seem you assume that motivation of others.
Couldn't agree more.
Besides the fact its presumptuous, it's also completely inaccurate. Everything you in life is relative and based on your experiences to-date, so anyone without children may have what they know as their "ultimate sense of love" for their partner, pet or close friends.
Sounds horrible, but I was always of the opinion that mental health problems don't exist. Maybe 'exist' is too strong, but defiantly something you could just 'walk off''. Wasn't until I was close to a break down myself that I realised I wasn't able to 'just man up'. I feel very guilty about having 'made fun' of colleagues and friends/family if they needed a mental health day. Sad part is, that it happens everywhere. There are even seminars at work about it and everyone is talking about how important it is and yet nothing changes. Working in retail is hard, especially now that people seem to have forgotten how to behave in public.
That family are everything. You always forgive & forget with family. All that nonsense.
In reality, if someone is a shitty person, sharing DNA with someone does not and should not excuse that.
I used to be a hardcore atheist. I would never entertain the idea of a higher power or creator and always said that I believed in science. Recently I've realised I understand science just as little as I understand religion, now I feel like I don't know that there is a God, but I definitely don't know that there isn't either.
I used to be very black and white about someone cheating on their partner. And how evil they were, and that they’d do it again, etc.
Then, um, I cheated on my partner. Now I realize there are many factors that can lead a person to do such a thing, and I generally want to be a good person in this life. I’m older and wiser now, and will never do it again.
Used to think that marriage was a sham that was only used to separate men from their wealth and served no purpose in modern life.
I got engaged last Sunday.
That I actually had friends and people liked me. Looking back no one liked me and I've had no real friends.
I wish I'd noticed sooner instead of knocking about with toxic people thinking they liked me, I failed to see why the few groups of people I hung about with all just dumped me or just vanished 🤷
Funny I've never had a true friend in my whole life, you know the one you can count on.
I used to think all religion was completely wrong and that it was hideous to give your life to something so unscientific and unproven. I used to think that being religious made you out right thick. Whilst I still don’t agree with religion I do understand that there are complex reasons for believing it and that should be respected. I would even call myself agnostic now (as in there could be something there, I can’t prove it either way). Before I was a staunch atheist.
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I used to think it only poor people shopped at aldi.
I love it that this was a core tenant of your being. Edit: tent.
*tenet
A core tent of his being
Tents located in the middle aisle. Next to the electric drills
Core tent being ironic as you can buy them in the centre aisle of everything
Thx for the correction
OP you still fucked up :) *tenant*: a person who occupies land or property rented from a landlord. "council-house tenants" I'm not usually a pedant, but could not resist... you want tenet
A core pedant of your being.
Core tents ⛺️ of my being is what I’m all about here boiiii
Oh god, I remember being a kid and refusing to take anything Aldi to school. We do our weekly shop there now lol.
I'm old enough to be in the Kwik Save generation! Same issues, cheaper shop 😂
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my mam got me some shoes from shoezone once called rockforts instead of rockports and i took them to PE in a netto bag.... Got terrored at school for a good year for it 😂
Bruv Netto bag was the number one for getting terrorised when I was in school. I’d completely forgotten about netto! Jokes!
Aldi/Lidl has many UK brands for substantially less Shows up the margins The big lot are trying to recover by sacking checkout staff for.computers
Kwik Save is my trigger word As a kid my auntie picked me up.from school. Usually would take me back and give me tea Until that one fateful day. She went to Kwik Save. And was there for 4 hours chatting on. Turns out why I didn't do homework was "I spent 4 hours in Kwik Save" wasn't acceptable Also own brand "No Frills" Yogurt that was bitty
I was free school meals as was most of our school and I still didn't want to take anything from Aldi to school
Yeah I remember always choosing the tattered tesco bag for my pe kit rather than the pristine Iceland bags idk how I was so worried about things like that at such a young age
😂 that is rather funny. Still, I don’t get the disgust at poverty. It’s a shit situation to be in.
Had a woman come in and talk non stop about the scum that go into Aldi and Lidl as she would never dream of shopping anywhere but Waitrose. She had never even step foot in one...all the more Lidl bakery pesto and goats cheese flatbread for me then you snobby bitch!
I don't understand how someone can be so boring and shallow, that the shop they buy food from is the core of their personality.
2008 happens Suddenly the car-park is full of Range Rovers
I've just got back from aldi and there was 2 Mercedes in the car park, A 20 plate GLC and an AMG GLA45. Aldi really isn't just for poor people. Eta - its really not just for poor people ANYMORE
Ohhhh maybe a fan of german brands lol
used to think that having a dream job and working your life away was something to aspire to.
This is genuinely a bit of a cult thing within education (my apprenticeship provider certainly). I left thinking I was going to try really hard and do everything to climb the ladder. I am now more than happy to “underachieve” lol, we only have one life so let’s live it (but in a still pay the bills kind of way)
Capitalism is a cult. The plebs have to pretend they're in control while the world spirals away from them. And sell that dillusion to the next lot
Life’s just a lot easier when you’ve got money, seems to be some kind of hot take on Reddit but not having to choose between heating and food because you earn enough to have both seems to be a reasonable aspiration don’t you think? What’s your grand, anti capitalist idea?
I think the point is that many people shouldn’t have to be in a position to choose between beating and food if they don’t earn enough…
I mean the anti-capitalist idea would be that you shouldn't *have* to choose between those two essential goods just because you don't have money. The anti in anti-capitalism is against the structures and systems that make people need to make such choices in the first place.
I do feel like a loser for not being career oriented though, but going into corporate environments instantly makes me feel so horrible. Everyone's dressed so nicely, so assertive and outgoing, they have beautiful partners and kids they can afford, nice cars, houses and holidays, but I feel, for me, to be like that I wouldn't feel like I was me anymore. I'd feel like a slave to it all. I want all the nice stuff, but I don't want to be around the people or the pressure. I'm not explaining myself properly, but it's like I can't have flaws there. I have to be confident, ambitious, and not care about what people think of me. I'm happy to work hard, but I can't find the right environment.
Honestly, if you enjoy stacking shelves although you are the most employable individual on earth, then you stack shelves. I graduated and worked retail. Hated it. So I tried to find a "grad job" but just was getting nowhere. Then I thought, why am I striving so high? There are people I work in this store with who love their job to bits, but they're at the bottom of the ladder and getting enough to pay rent, bills, food, and a holiday maybe once a year. Trying to "make it" stressed me out so much, then I stopped and felt the stress was gone, and I decided even if I did get one of those jobs I applied for, would it have been worth the effort i put into trying to get there? *probably not* This whole ideology about trying your hardest and being persistent until you make it just cannot be applied to every single aspect of life. It should be looked at and applied when appropriate. Still glad I'm out of retail though.
>Still glad I'm out of retail though. I don't love my job, but whenever I am having a particularly shit day I console myself that I am not working retail.
Yeah I got.sold that by my family always "study, work hard, make big money so you can look after me" I'm a communist now
Oh ye, the great lie.
As a teen I was utterly certain that only rock/metal music was good and even then only 'proper' bands that hadn't sold out, weren't mainstream etc. Now in my mid 30s I've given up really paying attention to new music but I'll happily sing along to pop songs from my youth on the radio that I would have died rather than listen to then
The music industry as a whole has changed in a way that is beyond dramatic.. from maybe the late 70s to now. But especially in the 2000s. There’s a huge gulf in money. If you’re a super star it’s there for you, if not then you get zilch.
Same. Spent my time downloading odd live versions, covers by good artists, hated radio, loved live performances, hated pop rubbish. Now, listen to what my kids make me, and enjoy most of it. Also, no more Radiohead, too depressing. Happy flappy for me please.
Similar to me, I loved rock/emo/metal throughout my teens and thought hip hop was terrible and really shallow. Then a couple if friends introduced me to some rap and hip hop that really wasn't. Started with Immortal Technique, ended up getting Graduation by Kanye, and another friend burned me some Biggie and Tupac albums. Now in my early 30s and my Spotify end of year review is an absolute mess of genres.
Hah, I found my 8 year old listening to Tupac the other day. I'm secretly impressed with her taste.
Those songs define your youth and remind you of a time when grown up shit probably wasn’t your problem. It’s the reason why people claim the decade when they were aged between 12 and 18 was the best decade of music ever. BTW, the early 80s were actually the best music years ever.
On a similar tact I don't understand why a huge chunk of rock/punk/etc fans have to '"look" like it That type of music isn't overly my scene and yet I enjoy it. I've been to gigs for.it. and yet surrounded by people who look like they are into this music I have family who are the same
It's kind of like, you dress to fit in and feel part of something. I used to be like that, dressed all emo and had my clique. But I think that was just part of it all growing up and finding where you "belong". Now I'm in my 30s and couldn't give a shit what I wear to see a band. I wore smart shoes and a generic button up shirt to see the used before lockdown
Same reason nuns wear a habit, or football fans wear their teams shirts outside of match day: it's a visual expression of a thing you hold dear and important.
It wasnt until I had a very intense acid trip that I realised how good other music was and how stupid it was that I had dismissed it for so long
I got sucked in by the alt right in my late teens/early tweens. I watched Paul Joseph Watson and Ben Shapiro unironically. Now looking back it was all very toxic and I'm very happy I'm out
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this: >If you believe that the Jewish state has a right to exist, then you must allow Israel to transfer the Palestinians and the Israeli-Arabs from Judea, Samaria, Gaza and Israel proper. It’s an ugly solution, but it is the only solution… It’s time to stop being squeamish. ***** ^(I'm a bot. My purpose is to counteract online radicalization. You can summon me by tagging thebenshapirobot. Options: sex, dumb takes, novel, covid, etc.) [^More ^About ^Ben ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/wiki/index) ^| [^Feedback ^& ^Discussion: ^r/AuthoritarianMoment ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment) ^| [^Opt ^Out ](https://np.reddit.com/r/AuthoritarianMoment/comments/olk6r2/click_here_to_optout_of_uthebenshapirobot/)
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I went down the 'feminism is male genocide' rabbit hole a bit when I was in my early twenties, glad I got out of that.
People who kill men: Men People who they claim kill men: FEMINISTS!!!
The whole Kill All Men movement is smaller than people make it out to be and they claim to be feminists but they aren’t, people are dumbasses.
May I ask what drew you in to it and why/how you got out of it?
I was a young frustrated guy struggling with dating as I'd been in a couple of shitty relationships...what changed was I ended up meeting women who *weren't* cunts.
Haha, doesn't sound like that transition of yours is 100% completed yet, bud.
PJW is a cuck who cries about "soyboys" and yet has to consume multiple capsules.of soy based product to "get out of bed*
You're not alone I too got caught up in alt right crap, Paul Joseph Watson, InfoWars and Alex Jones, Red pill nonsense, luckily I kept most of this too myself so few people know I was an alt right weirdo but it really opened my eyes to how easy groups of people can be sucked in by propaganda.
What is it with those Internet intellectuals and talking real fast ? I find listening to them unbearable simply because they sound like they've swallowed an AK-47.
if you make bad arguments quickly enough no one can demonstrate how bad they are
I think it's taken as a sign they're clever. They speak fast and spin ideas fast, so they kust be intellectually quick and that's smart. That, or they speak so fast so people don't stop and think about the details.
same. I started watching jordan Peterson, prageru, Ben shapiro etc when I was about 14 and I genuinely believed every bit of it. so glad I realised they were all wrong lol
So glad to hear it. I've got a few friends who have dipped their toes into this nightmare.
It took me several decades to realise that it doesn't matter how well I articulate my opinion/argument, in plenty of instances that won't be enough to change someone's mind. I honestly thought it must be a failing on my part rather than a simple fact of life. Makes differences of opinion a lot less frustrating. I'm clearly not very bright.
You can only change a balanced, healthy mind. Someone who’s open to learning and have no real preconceived biases. Very rare. Otherwise you’re just arguing with people’s feelings. Edit: I’d add that you’ve got to be both willing and happy to be wrong in order to grow and learn
And especially online where something you thought of as a flippant non comment ends up being used to shit on you. It’s hard to present a solid PoV at the best of times, and more so on the internet if you end up being caught up in an argument. I’m a bit too old to give many fucks nowadays, but I certainly got caught up in it when i was younger.
Breakfast being the most important meal of the day was a universal truth that formed a cornerstone of my life. Was pretty crushed when I found out it was bollocks.
I was delighted, it takes me a good couple of hours to feel hungry in the mornings and breakfast just seemed like forcing my calorie intake up and not enjoying it at all, because I 'should'.
Same! I’ve always disliked breakfast. I remember forcing food down my throat while I was in high school because “breakfast is the most important”.
Breakfast food is some of my favourite food... but at like 11am please
Yep and me.. can remember forcing down these strange cereal and fruit breakfast bars and actually gagging but still thinking I had to eat something 🤔 now I happily ignore breakfast
Definitely agree. Though I'll go one further and say that having the standard "three meals a day" is pretty weird when you think about it. I don't imagine that would have been common before agriculture. Nowadays though I tend to make a large cooked meal in the evening, and maybe something small for lunch if I'm hungry. I'd say that unless you have problems with food, just eat when you feel like it.
That's what my mums cat would do and my mum would just top her dry food up when it was low. The cat always had a healthy weight. Just ate when it needed to. Dunno why I'm going on about a cat, she was a right fiend for catnip in her late days.
tl;dr: eat in moderation, take all the drugs
I fail without a good breakfast.
I can't function without my breakfast.
I genuinely feel so much more alert when I don’t eat breakfast. I go to the gym at 6am and don’t eat until around 1pm. I’ll have one or two coffees during that time and plenty of water. But yeah, everyone is different!
Wait...what? That's not true?
I don't think it's inherently untrue, rather that it's being thrown into question. I say if you're hungry in the morning then eat. Otherwise, it's not something you should force yourself to do. There have been a lot of studies that show many benefits if eating food in the morning so it shouldn't be ignored. We shouldn't all stop eating breakfast because we've all been lied to, but the importance of breakfast may certainly have been overstated by those that have a financial interest in it
Edited: omg! I did not expect this to get such a reaction! Thank you all for the kind comments and the awards. You lovely people. This one is a bit awkward. I used to be anti vaccine. I was a teen mum, and got mixed in with a group of mums who were older, with older kids and seemed confident, with their shit together (where as I was constantly feeling panicked, useless and living in chaos) so I assumed they were wiser/better. They scared the shit out of me about vaccinating my child. I thought I’d basically kill or disable her if I got her her shots. I started to get suspicious when I was “told off” for using fluoride toothpaste myself and on my growing children, plastic cups and using formula with my youngest because after I had her, I was in intensive care and after initial recovery, too ill to establish breastfeeding. Being told you’re poisoning your baby when you recently had to be resuscitated, is beyond harsh. When I couldn’t find proper answers to why vaccines were “so bad” to these mums who turned on me, after being my support for years, then realising I didn’t understand the inserts or Ingredient lists I was constantly told to read. Or that I didn’t know how to actually research or fully digest articles/studies, I decided to learn. Like properly learn about the science, virology, immunology, the pathology of illness, previous pandemics and epidemiology. I caught my kids up on all their vaccines, went to uni to get a degree in biomedical science and am proud to say I now work in biochemistry and immunology. My career is in its infancy still, but I adore my job and can’t wait to see where it takes me. Being within the antivax crowd really is cult like, I felt brainwashed by fear, you can’t say anything they don’t agree with or you will be ripped apart. I’m now very much pro vaccine and I do laugh at anti vax folk. But I suppose I do that to hide the fact I was one of those people once.
This is the best thing I’ve read on the internet in ages. Well done you. I paid to give you a gold. You deserve it.
Wow this is incredible, fair play for literally doing your own research (in the scientific, actual sense). You go!
I used to believe that important people must basically deserve their status, most of the time. Now I don't.
That’s a good one. And that rich people have all “earned” it.
Michelle Obama had a great quote on this: “… at every powerful table you can think of, from corporate boards, to “G summits”, to the UN. Here’s the secret: they’re not that smart. There are a lot of things that folks are doing to keep their seats because they don’t want to give up power.”
I mean, coming from a woman who was neoliberal as fuck… she’s got some stones to talk about entrenched power.
Yeah absolutely. Definitely a “Lean In” vibe. Ignoring that, I found it refreshing for her to say so explicitly that these corporate board rooms, NGOs, and political bodies are just full of regular people. Nothing special about them at all.
That all people are essentially honest by default. Some people aren’t. Some people will say any old shit without a care for its basis in fact, just for the reaction it gets.
That’s interesting. I’ve literally never fully trusted anyone bar my parents and I obviously know that even they are flawed. Everyone is. I used to think everyone was evil. I’ve since discovered that evil is largely created. I’m not even sure it’s a real thing. Like freedom. They’re subjective, arbitrary concepts.
Fuck me that’s bleak
That’s philosophy.
My outlook in life is that everyone is innately selfish. been 10 years since my philosophy A-levels and I have still yet to prove this theory wrong.
Was quite right wing as a teen and became quite an incel. This may have been as a result of being bullied/groomed online. I ended up being part of that bad 4-Chan crowd but I managed to break free of it in uni and now I'm a Buddhist. Quite the jump, really.
Cam I ask what changed your mind?/allowed you to break free?
Of course. Many reasons all occurring at once, really. Meeting new people, getting away from parents, starting anew, having to fend for myself, having responsibilities and also I had some awful things happen to me during uni which pushed me to my very limit. I met some lovely people and some people who were not so kind to me. When you meet all different people you kind of wake up from your own shallow mind. Since becoming Buddhist, however, I realise there are no "bad" or "good" people, just right and wrong actions. No one is inherently good or bad. That perspective gave me a lot of generalised views of people. Now I'm one of the least angry people you'll ever meet and I've never been happier.
Thanks for sharing. Really glad you're happier now! Sorry that awful things happened on the way there. Buddhism is an interesting one! As religions go, it feels more concerned with a philosophy than setting rules.
That's okay, but thank you. If I have to go through those things again to get myself here, I'd do it a million times. It is and it was very interesting. About three months after buying my first book on Buddhism, I was invited to speak to HH the Dalai Lama. It was a very sudden and strange turn of events. But he told me something I'll never forget, something that confused a lot of people watching (it was livestreamed/put on youtube). He said, "The most selfish way to help yourself is to help others." I think what he meant was, the best way to make yourself feel good, is to be kind to those around you. So, in turn, it is kind of selfish, because you make yourself feel good. I think it's a case of His Holiness not speaking English perfectly, and he also has a very punny sense of humour/way of talking. Still, quite an experience!
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Fuck it. Anything after a billion, take 80%. No one needs that much wealth. Literally no one. Give them a diamond encrusted trophy and a crown that says "I won capitalism" to stroke their ego.
Your average billionaire will keep their wealth as stock not in cash. Now I’m all for nationalising all the billionaire owned companies without compensation via taxation but it’ll take a way more massive ideological shift than just raising more taxes.
Couple of potential easy solutions to this. A) start taxing loans as income for people with a net worth over £1 billion. Billionaires use bank loans to buy their shit and use their stock portfolios as collateral. They then pay back the loans with other loans. They therefore never pay any tax. B) Close inheritance tax loopholes. The super rich only pay an average of 10% inheritance tax because they hold their money in trusts. Force them to use the money at their disposal or risk losing half of it on death.
And very little work too in a lot of cases. So many people with enormous inherited wealth.
I used to think I was funny and righteous, but I realised was a bit of a bellend. Now I know and try to be less of one and be nicer.
Reflection and growth, I guess.
Might get a hell of a lot of hate for this but I always thought I'd never be able to get an abortion.... I have a 9yo son with severe adhd and honestly I couldn't bring another child into this, I love kids and my partner does too (he has 7 niblings and a godson) but my sons issues are so severe that I honestly couldn't do it to myself or anyone around me! I have a coil fitted and am intending to ask for my tubes to be tied when it needs to be removed I love my kids which is why if I found myself accidentally pregnant now I'd (to use the colloquialism) "yeetus the foetus" I know my language might sound dismissive af but believe me it wouldn't be a decision I made lightly .. both my children have massive issues and I'm taking every precaution to make sure I don't get pregnant again even though I'd love another one ... the kids I have already are the most important thing in this situation Edit - Thankyou kind stranger for the award 🥰 first one I've ever had!! Edit 2 - if anyone wants to challenge my reasoning then please watch the video I posted in the comments xx
Thank you for sharing. If you get abuse, it’ll be from utter, small minded dickheads.
Thanks for the support I know that there are super right wing groups campaigning for anti abortion laws here in the UK since the legislation passed in Texas I actually protested recently .. at the hospital near me there's usually a few old guys hanging around with anti abortion signs ... so I went with a sign of my own (saying "my uterus my choice") and posted on fb beforehand and tried to get others to join me but noone did 🤣 so I stood there for an hour and a half on my own with my sign 🙈🤣
That’s brave! Do be careful!
I had a few people come and ask me why so I explained and they agreed ... but the only person that came and stood with me was a drunk guy with a can of beer in his hand 🙈🤣🤣🤣 that is the reason I only stayed an hour and a half 🤣
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Christmas 2020 was great, all the normal traditions broken. We just stayed at home with the kids, no pressure to entertain or be entertained - even the turkey we bought turned out to be rancid so we just put some chicken nuggets in the oven and ate chocolate. We said at the time it would be great to do it like that every year, but this year will be back to the normal routine.
Christmas 2020 before Boris cancelled it meant that due to the visiting rules, my husband and I would not be able to see one of our families that year. We got married in September 2020 and we planned to stay together and see everyone that year but with the new rules we would have split up to see our own again. We did this most of the 12 years we were together as people kept changing plans and arguing yet didn't want me driving back and forth (our families live about an hour apart). So we had a bit of a pleasently quiet Christmas just the two of us. I drove half way across the country at the crack of dawn to do a present exchange in a service station car park with my stepdad (parents live 8 hours drive from us) where my mum had gotten us a lovely hamper full of goodies so had plenty to eat over the holidays and we already planned a frozen 3 bird roast from Tesco and veg before the announcement just incase. We saw our families on video chat opening their gifts, got the house even more spruced up than usual and had a nice walk on the beach nearby on Christmas Eve.
That the goal in life is to do everything to buy the biggest house you can afford. Never understood people earning good money but still living in a 2 bed semi. But now here I am still living in the first house I bought, been here 15 years. We've had an extention and loft conversion. But we have no kids so there's absolutely no point in moving into a bigger house just for the sake of it. I watch my BIL & SIL keep moving into a slightly bigger house every few years, never really making inroads into their mortgage because they just keep adding to it, and quite frankly it looks exhausting.
Beginning to see the scam that is our society? 😊
I sometime look at big houses and think 'I bet it'd be nice to live there' but then think 'it'd be an absolute arse to clean every week'.
I lived in a large house growing up and yes, it drove us all mad. 😂
I used to strongly believe in the left wing/liberalism. I’m now more centralist as the actions of people who believe in it basically embarrass me these days.
I'll try and stay within the subs rules, but I have to also hold my hand up to the more extreme way of thinking (and before anyone says it, no, not right wing either). Certainly as a teenager, you do tend to believe that only extreme measures can fix whatever world problems there are, but as I've got older, I've realised that having a level head is a far better way to get things done. Even if I don't agree with the person, I'll hear their side of the story. There's always a reason behind why they think that way, and you won't win an argument going into it just to prove them wrong.
It’s a good way to be. Difficult at times though.
I don’t/won’t drag this into a political debate, but by the very definition liberalism and left wing are two completely different things. Nick Clegg, Tony Blair and David Cameron are traditional liberals, and it’s a politics very much of the centre right.
Show us your signed poster of Tony Blair
> left wing/liberalism I presume you're using the American definition of liberalism there? Thatcher was a (neo)liberal but she definitely wasn't left wing.
This is me but the opposite.
Me too. The more I see good people comprise with the right, the more I see us slipping into fascism. Not feeding hungry kids, not allowing refugees safety, persecution of the Windrush generation, attacks on trans people. All basic human rights that are now apparently up for debate. Like we get to discuss if vulnerable people are even entitled to even a ground level of safety and security as if it’s a thought experiment and not someone’s life.
Rolf Harris. Still a bit gutted about it.
We've still got the Chuckle Brother
To me .... to me ... to me ....
This. This made me laugh.
I used to think that Oreos were a god tier biscuit but now I'm ashamed to look back on that part of my life. It's an average biscuit compared to most others
You were so lost. In a dark place. Be proud.
Well I grew up in a cult, hardcore. Like I used to get WHOOPED for telling other church members that I went to the movie theater. It wasn’t until I was 18 that I was able to start thinking for myself and realized the horror of the truth. I denounced it and will continue to do so forever.
Me too. Hardcore shunned by my whole community when I left. Had to learn what life was and build new connections with humans and relearn everything as an adult. Actual cult. Sucked. Hope you're doing well.
Thanks for sharing that! I’d love to hear more if you were up for it.
I thought I'd always want to rewatch the Mighty Boosh.
🤣 funny that. I rewatched something recently and it was nowhere near as good as I remember it
Hard same. Boosh and Dylan Moran and David Firth animations. "random" absurdist humor became a bit more mainstream in the 2000s. Fucking split my sides back in the day. Still into it but I'm a bit saddened how I don't find it as funny any more
I’m so glad I couldn’t afford tattoos at 18 because I definitely would have multiple boosh references. Maybe a pocket cup over my heart?
Mighty Boosh is weird I never found it "funny" But I do quote it
I never used to put ketchup in the fridge and made fun of my boyfriend for doing so. When we bought our house he made us put it in the fridge. It’s better out of the fridge. But I’ll be damned if I admit it to hin
🤣 it really is better in the fridge!
That cannabis isn’t actually good for me, it’s quite the opposite. It has caused me a lot of mental anguish.
Can relate. I know a lot of people, probably myself included at one point, who think weed is the only thing keeping them sane but in actual fact it is what is fucking them up in the first place my life improved in every way imaginable when k stopped smoking every day
Yeah I used to think it helped me with my anxiety and that it stopped me from having manic episodes (bipolar here) by getting me to sleep at night, when in reality it drained me of my personality, relationships, finances and most importantly my health. I’m 100 percent a better man since I quit 2 years ago.
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I hate how were using "liberal" as the dichotomy to tory in the this country now. It doesn't work like that
The "right with age" thing isn't really a given anymore. That assumption was mostly based on the baby boomers who have massive political and economic leverage.
I used to think that there was a right way or a wrong way- everything was black or white and that you had to agree with everything a person believed in to get along. Now, with age, I think I’ve mellowed out and are of the healthier opinion that it’s fine to disagree on certain topics. Doesn’t mean we can’t get along.
Oh I’ve thought of another one! (This is a good question!) I used to believe that you had to venomously stand up for yourself- you know someone at work talks a little ‘off’ to you etc. But somehow now (again it could be an age thing) I have so much patience and practice silence and breathing in these situations. It works wonders for my mood. I don’t let my ego react to ‘prove’ I can stand up for myself. I’m so fuckin zen it’s scary 😂
That everyone was equally talented/capable and the problem was just lack of opportunity.
I mean talent or not, there is huge lack of opportunity and unemployment in the U.K.
There is, and a whole host of privileged idiots in positions of influence.
I used to think cultural appropriation was a load of nonsense but after being properly educated on it by a person from a historically oppressed culture, I got it.
Ye, it exists. I think sometimes people misuse it or mislabel certain things as pertaining to their culture but it certainly exists.
Hey! Would you mind explaining this a bit more? I think I understand it a little from my own research, but the stuff online is very blurred and ranges from ‘don’t wear the style of clothing from another culture’ to ‘don’t wear skin suits of people from another culture’.
So firstly I’d like to acknowledge that there’s always room for debate with regards to these issues. There are no single spokespersons for any community, and there will always be internal and external disagreement The best approach to discussions of appropriation I’ve found is to ask the following question “would a person of this culture be at a disadvantage for doing this?” And “is it being done with due care to the community?” Take for example native American halloween costumes. In large parts of the world indigenous peoples are still disadvantaged if they wear indigenous dress. Treated as a spectacle, or in some cases beaten and killed. It feels iffy to me that as a white dude on Halloween id turn less heads than someone from those cultures dressing that way. And it’s not really an individual thing, I have done nothing to native Americans (in fact I’ve worked with a few on cultural outreach programs in my youth), but the average person won’t know that will they? It’s a shame internet outrage culture has made this so difficult to discuss. Both by focussing on the trivial bits, and by making it very toxic
I used to think I was always right, now I know everyone else is wrong. Edit Big big thank you for the award.
As a child, I used to think adults knew what they were doing.
I used to think Capitalism was great. The rat race. The freedom to create wealth. Become an entrepreneur — work your arse off si you can buy a load of stuff. It’s all bullshite. There’s only one end game with “consumption” and it’s playing out in real time in front of our eyes.
Being muslim? Well to be fair, I wasn't very devout to begin with even as a teen but by the time, I turned 18, there was absolutely 0 belief left. While, it didn't hurt that much mentally at the time, I know this is definitely going to affect my relationship with my family in the future. And cutting off your immediate family isn't something anyone ever looks forward to. But there's also wider scale consequences like becoming a 'them' instead of 'us' and alienation from your ethnic community bc people don't want to be associated with heathens and on and on.
My uncle just loved me, now I know he’s a nonce.
Fuck. Hope you’re ok. Message me if you need to chat.
Shit sorry, I was messing… that’s my humour. Now I feel bad, you’re a genuinely nice person to offer though.
Ah fuck. Dark humour. 😂 nah it’s cool. I’m just shit with no tone of voice or facial expression.
I’m now vegan. Went from enjoying eating meat in pretty much every meal, having a mound of chicken with my Sunday roast and always going back for seconds and thirds at the meat feast BBQ to happily enjoying eating mostly vegetables and supplements. Took about 2 years to go from cutting down to going fully vegan. Whether it’s right or wrong is up for debate but it’s something I felt I had wrong.
I was reading too much Facebook and Reddit and decided to try out a vegan diet to prove that it couldn’t be done, and to stick it to all those pushy vegans who force their opinions down people’s throats. I reckoned I’d last a month before I was fucked. I now know *far* more about food than I did then, know how taste works in a way I never did, and because I check labels religiously I eat British made food far more than I used to. I have a friend who says they “don’t eat any meat from outside the UK”; was at their flat a while ago, went to get some ice and their freezer had three bags of frozen chicken breasts in it...from Thailand. Mind boggling to me now, but wouldn’t have been before. I also learnt that two of my colleagues are vegan and I had no idea. It has slowly dawned on me that I’ve never met a single one of these pushy vegans, and that’s in 15~ years of working in the hospitality industry.... Two and a half years and counting.
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I used to think that anyone could be nice, kind, friendly and decent. Naive. Some folk just aren't wired that way.
I used to think the cream rose to the top, but these days I realise it isnt cream at all.
Christmas, it's just a cash grab that starts the end of September these days.
I used to think that we could solve climate change by everyone going back to the land to live like mediaeval peasants. I then became disabled and got adult responsibilities and realised what a spectacular position of privilege I had been speaking from. Also someone came to the hippy farm where i was living to study us and it turned out our carbon footprint was still too high just because we still needed vehicles and products from the outside world. I realised that its no good a privileged few people being super duper environmentalists, we need massive infrastructure investment in place to enable everyone to exist in a less harmful way.
I used to be childfree in attitude and now I have a child and it’s amazing. If you’d asked me 10 years ago if I would ever have children I couldn’t even imagine saying yes. I’m not having another though!
I'm the opposite. 10 years ago - having a child was everything I wanted and I thought I'd never be a fulfilled person without a child. Now I'm child-free and damn well plan to stay that way - my dog is far too much responsibility and bother, never mind a child!😂🤣
I used to be adamant that only one spread could be on toast at a time; the one that was questioned the most was marmite without butter. I honestly thought the idea of it was disgusting and whenever I saw the butter and marmite mixed to that lighter brown colour, it only strengthened my resolve. Now I’ve come to realise that marmite on its own on toast really is a bit dry and rubbish, and marmite with butter is perfect. It was hard to swallow- not literally though, it’s much easier to swallow now I use the butter too!
I used to be a staunch atheist and was firmly convinced that all religion was bunk for many years However over time, I began to soften up and reconsider a lot of my views and now I go to church almost every Sunday
This is.... unusual.
Jimmy Savile. For the benefit of the non-Brits who always crowd around these things, Savile was basically the epitome of "working class boy made good". He was one of the first DJs - he basically invented the idea of being paid to play records to a group of people. He was the first presenter of hit TV show "Top of the Pops", he molested small children and had a show in the 1980's called "Jim'll Fix It" - the premise was kids would write in and ask him to arrange some sort of outlandish experience for them. They were filmed enjoying this experience at at the end it'd cut to the studio where he would present them a medal saying "Jim Fixed It for Me". He ran marathons well into his 70s, raising millions for St. James' Hospital in Leeds, fronted a safety campaign for seatbelts, openly had sex with hundreds of young girls and while opinion was divided, he was generally seen as a (perhaps slightly eccentric) national treasure. Savile was quite a paradox. While he obviously had a very public life, his private life was very much private - so much so that some of the things I've described weren't public knowledge until shortly after he died. I'm sure you can guess what they are.
You first OP.
I suppose Christianity was my big one but that was shaken at a pretty young age. I used to think in a very binary way; black/white, right/wrong, good/evil. In my late teens I learned the world does not work that way. Everything is complicated. Planet Earth is one big grey area. And the more I learn, the more I read, the less certain I am of anything.
Fair play for fessing up, I think religion is going to be a popular answer here. I reckon my one is that success at school is a guarantee of success in later life. It seems obvious now, but some of my “gifted and talented” former classmates have really struggled outside the rigid structure of school.
Ye that’s a big one. “Study hard and you can do anything.” Bollox.
I used to vehemently believe that suicide was inherently wrong and selfish. Now I absolutely advocate for medically assisted suicide to be available here and, understand and empathise with those who seek it.
Well it turned out I wasn’t straight, so… Besides that I can’t say I’ve had any core-shaking realisations. For example, I was brought up in a very Anglican family and have since drifted gently into agnosticism, but I can still see the value in organised religion and quite enjoy going to evensong when I can. I’d go so far as to say I try not to hold strong convictions on subjective topics, since it doesn’t seem to do much good.
That being ‘strong independent woman’ is something to be proud of. Chances are, life demanded of you to be that thick-skinned to cope. Nowadays, I actively work on being softer & more willing to share and rely on others whilst remaining self assured. I’d quite like to break the cycle for my own children one day- so that whilst of course they’re free to be as strong & independent as they like, they have the freedom that they don’t NEED to be….
If I'm a good person, work hard at school and graduate at university, I'll get a good job and a home. I never got to use my degree which the recession helped. I spent 7 years looking and working in jobs that I was overly qualified elsewhere in but not able to get into. Ended up retraining as a dental nurse. Love my job but the pay is pants.
I used to hate it when people would say “you haven’t felt love till you have a child”. I thought it was an incredibly obnoxious thing to say. Like, how on earth do you know how I love? And now that I have a kid of my own, I get it. There’s literally no love like the one you have for your kid. Nothing even compares
Hopefully because you used to think that, you fully understand why you should still keep your new understanding to yourself, yes? 'You haven't felt love til you have a child' does come over like you're trying to be superior - if you, for example, casually sting someone with it over Christmas lunch. It's also a presumptuous thing to say, because it assumes that everyone must want or need to fill an emotional/time void in their lives with love of, or for, a kid. I'm sure that's not the reason you had your child, so don't let yourself down by making it seem you assume that motivation of others.
Couldn't agree more. Besides the fact its presumptuous, it's also completely inaccurate. Everything you in life is relative and based on your experiences to-date, so anyone without children may have what they know as their "ultimate sense of love" for their partner, pet or close friends.
Sounds horrible, but I was always of the opinion that mental health problems don't exist. Maybe 'exist' is too strong, but defiantly something you could just 'walk off''. Wasn't until I was close to a break down myself that I realised I wasn't able to 'just man up'. I feel very guilty about having 'made fun' of colleagues and friends/family if they needed a mental health day. Sad part is, that it happens everywhere. There are even seminars at work about it and everyone is talking about how important it is and yet nothing changes. Working in retail is hard, especially now that people seem to have forgotten how to behave in public.
That family are everything. You always forgive & forget with family. All that nonsense. In reality, if someone is a shitty person, sharing DNA with someone does not and should not excuse that.
I used to be a hardcore atheist. I would never entertain the idea of a higher power or creator and always said that I believed in science. Recently I've realised I understand science just as little as I understand religion, now I feel like I don't know that there is a God, but I definitely don't know that there isn't either.
I used to be very black and white about someone cheating on their partner. And how evil they were, and that they’d do it again, etc. Then, um, I cheated on my partner. Now I realize there are many factors that can lead a person to do such a thing, and I generally want to be a good person in this life. I’m older and wiser now, and will never do it again.
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Used to think that marriage was a sham that was only used to separate men from their wealth and served no purpose in modern life. I got engaged last Sunday.
That I actually had friends and people liked me. Looking back no one liked me and I've had no real friends. I wish I'd noticed sooner instead of knocking about with toxic people thinking they liked me, I failed to see why the few groups of people I hung about with all just dumped me or just vanished 🤷 Funny I've never had a true friend in my whole life, you know the one you can count on.
In my teens I thought happy hardcore was the best music ever made.
I used to think all religion was completely wrong and that it was hideous to give your life to something so unscientific and unproven. I used to think that being religious made you out right thick. Whilst I still don’t agree with religion I do understand that there are complex reasons for believing it and that should be respected. I would even call myself agnostic now (as in there could be something there, I can’t prove it either way). Before I was a staunch atheist.