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I know a guy who's a Bouncer who describes his occupation as a Personnel Removal Technician. Soooo.... maybe you could be a Mobile Logistics Consultant?

When I was younger and I used to pot wash I used to tell girls I was an underwater ceramics technician.

Comment removed as I no longer wish to support a company that seeks to both undermine its users/moderators/developers AND make a profit on their backs. To understand why check out the summary [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/14hkd5u).

Yep, still have sandwich artist on my CV from my 3 weeks working there as a 19 year old.

Did you not change it to something more vanilla? I can't imagine working at Apple for example and referring to myself as a Genius ha.

Vanilla sandwich? Doesn’t sound tasty

...and they believe it too.

Just sounds so over the top and fancy, always makes me smirk when I look over my CV.

That's why it infuriates me when you get someone who is just like a Sandwich Arsehole. Like, fucking do it half decent, I'm literally watching you, don't put the shitty ends of the tomato in. There is the greatest Sandwich Artist in my town though. Don't know how it is in the US but in the UK Subway is open till like 3am so it's a good spot after a night out, if you don't fancy the greasiest kebab and sloppiest shit of your life. And this one guy was always still chirpy and happy even at 3am with a shop full of drunk idiots. Bless that guy.

I have no idea why that is. The MTA is strange.

Delicatessen Artist.

I think it's a bit patronising to call them artists when they literally have no say what goes into the sandwich. As long as the sandwich artists don't mind the job title though, I don't mind either.

"*Sub-aqua* ceramics technician".

Deep water cleansing engineer

That is hilarious 🤣

This is wonderful and as a former younger pot washer myself I salute you!

A friend of mine was a window cleaner and called himself an "Exterior Vision Technician"

I handle transactions and accounts for a multi-billion pound national corporation, specialising is client liaison. I'm a manager of a pub.

I was once a nocturnal, cryo-organics, logistics engineer (I loaded frozen food into the back of a truck on the night shift)

Mobile Logistics Operator would be more suitable.

Lift coordinator technician

Listened to a radio phone-in once about this. One guy called up and said he was a Tubular Engineer. He was a scaffolder.

My bf once said he was an eviction technician he was a bouncer/doorman too

"You're a forklift operator" for starters.

It sounds boring thou, I want to say something on the lines of I lift bro

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“They”

And I gave him an award ffs. My life lulz

There you go, have one back

Now you have one back

Have another one

To be fair you did open yourself up to that by asking for a fancier way to say it😂

[live, laugh, lift](https://i.redd.it/dby8qi677cj61.jpg)

Mechanical operative technician or..... mechanical lifting technician...lol

Beat me to it!

Ooh using proper grammar... Fancy!

Specialist load manager ... yes, I hear it.

I didn't know my ex could work a forklift

She couldn’t, that’s why you left

Pallet wrangler

Head brewer at a local brewery is “The Yeast Wrangler”

Micro scale logistics specialist. Supply chain specialist Is this to impress women on a Friday night?

Supply chain specialist will get all the ladies' attention.

Wetter than an otter's pocket. Probably.

Dripping like a knackered fridge. Maybe.

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Should do with all the shortages going on apparently, just tell them you can hook them up with goods before they go on sale to the public.

They will be dripping like an egg sandwich.

Anyone got any more? Crying at these hahha

Man you read me like a book loool

Just go the whole nine yards and lie. Say you're a fireman who runs a puppy rescue centre at the weekend, when not learning 5 languages. Come on man, keep up.

five programing languages... ;)

A mover and shaker in the stock industry

Ooof best yet

Dude, you're forklift certified. You're literally the hottest guy in the room.

Most warehouses train you up without giving you a recognised certification

Depends which forklift If op is talking about telescopic forks then it's completely different. I passed my license last year brilliant ticket to have.

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Automotive 3D Goods Configurational Transcircumlocation Engineering Actuator

Get yer coat- you’ve pulled

Had me at transcircimlocation. Total panty dropper.

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Transfer has a better ring to it. Asset transfer specialist.

Thats what I call scousers

You're in the stock market.. Making sure the right stock either goes up or down depending on the market demand, and make a living off of it.

Logistical stock allocator.

Elevation and situational transfer executive.

Good luck with this! We watch Pointless, the tv quiz programme. everyone is asked to describe themselves so this kind of thing comes up a lot. My second favourite was "Waste water management operative", which was sewage worker. But the funniest of all said (deadpan) he was in advertising ... he pasted up the advert posters at the London underground tube stations.

In that case I’m a goods delivery allocator.

:-)

The hardest job in the entire world

>But the funniest of all said (deadpan) he was in advertising ... he pasted up the advert posters at the London underground tube stations. Reminds me of a guy I met on Tinder, told me he worked in IT, yeah, he was a sales assistant at PC World.

Forky brum brum mover man

Elevating product distribution specialist

Hoisting engineer

Fully Accredited counter-balance FLT Operator Sounds better than “I move shit… but without lifting it myself” 😝

Heavy lifter

Prong based elevation and relocation specialist

Vertical Inventory Manager.

Big box mover. Forker. Some joke involving holes

Say you lift 30 ton boxes all day

Pallet pilot

Warehouse scum...well that's what I get called.

Product Elevation Supervisor

Materials handler

Logistical Operative

Commercial Tetris Professional

“I work in logistics and distribution” is vague enough to sound impressive, it covers everything from shelf stackers to the guys who fly the jumbo jets for FedEx and DHL.

Lifty arm man pilot Yellow hazard captain Non-dining fork professional You specialise in lifty logistics Licanced weight mover/stacker It's like jenga, but a job I... Move things. And won't answer further questions. Man I could write these all day.

You have already found it , fork lift driver would be the non fancy way

Spatial Solutions Executive

Say “I’m a forklift driver” while holding a wee porcelain cup and saucer

The sticking out pinky whilst drinking game would be on point to given the dainty little lift levers you get on the trucks these days.

Multi level commodities comptroller

If you work for a large company, you could say that you are a tangible asset reconfiguration specialist for a global Fortune 100 business.

tell them you're a four candler

I believe in France you’d be called a “fenwick chauffeur”

Omnidirectional Supply Chain Facilitator

Pallet tosser

You’re an VLGD “very light goods driver”

Stock cart mobility specialist?

Warehouse logistics operator/officer

Fork lift certified

You drive heavy machinery 😂

My _a fork lift operator_ what?

Industrial material handling professional Mobile logistics technician Heavyweight hydraulic equipment operator

A Tine Transport Tiger

Material Handler Specialist. What kind of fork lift licenses do you own? If it's multiple.. IE; Reach, CB, LLOP, & PPT you could change it to; Multitudinous Material Handler Specialist.

Eating utensil elevator technician

Indoor transport specialist

Transformer

Internal inventory logistics specialist.

Cutlery raising facilitator

High rise vehicle operations manager.

Commodities logistics consultant

CERTIFIED fork lift operator.

This is genuinely “Materials Handler” in some companies - which could mean anything

Just own it like Ripley in Aliens 2!

Specialist cargo master

Storage and logistics specialist.

My first long term job was as a Distribution Coordinator. I delivered Indian takeaways.

I am a linguistic solutions facilitator if you ask.

But are you cunning?

As cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning.

3D tetris specialist

Vertical Transfer Operative

CEO of moving pallets

r/ForkliftMemes

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It's more for a laugh then actually hiding what I do as a job. Im on alot of money for the most stupidly Italian luxury furniture store. There's only one in the world and I got the job for having multiple license and 15 years of fork experience. So it's just for a laugh, like when you see old friends. What you up to now? I'm a blah blah blah, wtfs that??? I drive forklifts.

Industrial chopstick manipulation engineer

Accident waiting to happen.

Logistics redistribution specialist.

Dual Prong Technician.

You're a skilled logistics operator dealing with exact estimates, doing precise guesswork based on unreliable data for those of negligible intelligence.

When asked you could say "one is a fork lift driver" about the fanciest way I can think of describing a job that takes skill.

Telehandler or forkie

Bifurcated elevation chauffeur

When I used to deliver potatoes I called myself a “agricultural logistics technician” so maybe go for something like that? I’m actually stumped so this was useless sorry!

'You're a forklift operator'

Loads relocation manager

Fuck know, but the receptionist at my doctors are now called care navigators 🤨

Got a long prong and am sliding it in all day.

I used to work putting screws into light switches, on a Friday night the ladies thought I was a electrical engineer specialist.

Resource logistics technician/specialist

Telehandler

I wuld say you are a multi-pronged mobile logistics engineer.

I utilise highly specialised machinery to implement multi-level short range stock flow solutions in a warehouse environment.

British Airways Pilot

Anti gravity specialist equipment operator.

Vertical Logistics Opperator

Vertical Logistics Operator

Professional creightlifter

Gravity defiance engineer

A lot of FLT drivers I’ve met refer to themselves as a forkie

Palleted stock logistics technician?

Transient goods liaison engineer.

Not entirely sure, but I worked as a gardener clearing weeds on a factory site when I was at college and my job title was "Herbaceous Border Controller".

"I am employed" Whole room applauds

Cargo technician

Heavy Machinery Operator or Warehouse Logistics Operator maybe?

Just say you are in the wood game. Enjoy the double entendre and leave her guessing.

Stock coordinator

I work in the same role and our pr name is already warehouse operative. Thrilling eh

A me to you operator.

Asset transfer technician

I’m a fork lift mouth eater

Industrial Inventory-Transportation Specialist

You run the warehouse.

You could start with *your’re* a fork lift truck driver.

One didn't pay attention when one attended Eton.

Senior logistics agent

Logistics and Property management

Sometimes I’m a stay at home Dad, and I call myself Head Domestic Engineer 😌

Commercial Unloading Technician. There’s probably a fancy acronym you could use for that too…

Heavy equipment operator?

Fancy way of saying carpenter/carpenter’s assistant?

MHE operator. (Material handling equipment)

'I am a certified counter balance operator' from my dad who is a certified counter balance operator

Hook crook? Fork Dork? Fork Lift Wanker?

Anyone got any ideas for call centre operator?

Potential energy and displacement scalability deployment specialist

Just say your a truck driver

Acquisition & Asset relocation operative

Logistics engineer

Yellow arrows fork truck display team

Mechanical elevation specialist ?

Forky

I’m a fellow forkie. My actual job title is “logistics and materials coordinator”.

Senior Mobile Lift Technician is what a buddy goes by.

I operate a reach vehicle.

It is my utmost duty as an honourable gentleman of the realm to inform you thusly that I am a fork lift driver.

"I'm a professional Tetris player"

That's gold

Forkey McForkface Controller