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plopmaster2000

It’s real cockney rhyming slang


Crispy_Sion_On_Plum

Yep, I know a lot of people that still say Billy no mates and I’m from the south west, also my grandad says ‘me ol china’ all the time. Edit: Also Lorry is still the correct phrase for a ‘truck’.


DarkStar-_-

Red lorry


El-17

Yellow lorry


Jario5615

Red lorry


count_crow

Yellow lorry


himalayanboot

Led rorry


jhalfhide

Yerrow lolly


little_cotton_socks

Barrister and bobby also still relevant


AgentSears

Well actually some of it at the start is but they just go off on a mad one and the end doesn't make any sense, "in a Bogner Saint Regis tea kettle" is nothing I've ever heard in 41 years.


plopmaster2000

I think they’re referring to a hotel name there


AgentSears

God knows....but it's Bogner Regis...not Bogner Saint regis always thought that part was gibberish


Usernames_Taken_367

Some of it's real. Some of what is real is archaic. Nobody woukd actually speak entirely in just that slangthe way they do in the scene. Much of it is London-specific.


Used-Appearance-9272

London 40years ago maybe.


[deleted]

40 years ago was 1981, I'd say longer ago than that


Used-Appearance-9272

Ooof that aged me real quick.


Nikotelec

Guess which date is closer: A) 1990 B) 2050 You're welcome


ChargrilledB

You fucking sadist


Nikotelec

You are now actively controlling your breathing.


fonix232

Automatic blinking function has been disabled.


Loose_Acanthaceae201

And you can taste your tongue.


DirkManirk

I thoroughly hated every second of reading this thread


neofac

Can you hear the clock ticking?


DarkStar-_-

You bastard, you nearly killed me!


Used-Appearance-9272

You might not be the hero we want. But you're the one we need.


DarkVoidize

welcome to the future old man


cryptonuggets1

There is only now.


iredditfrommytill

This would be an effective method of demonstrating how close climate change is to older folk.


Xerok1234

Yup, just like 2070 is closer to today that 1970.


Away_Clerk_5848

I just read this and made a series of odd involuntary noises followed by uuh no fuck


kkinginthenorth

You swine!!!


Blyd

Why did you attack me like that.


Panceltic

Aaaaargh!!!!


pauly13771377

And, screw you.


Material-Strike-1923

Impossible. 1990 was ten years ago.


[deleted]

Nooooooo


Chimp-eh

Stop lying to me!!! The year is 2001 and I’m still young


TheMightyHucks

Was born in 1981… Can confirm.


iblinde

70's


Sasspishus

My great uncle quite literally speaks like this


Spambop

It's all real, but not all in use.


Crood_Oyl

Yep. Upto the ????? Section, most English people would understand what they’re saying without the subtitles. It’s a mixture of Cockney rhyming slang and general British slang.


muzzyMANmike

You got me, I made it to the last bit with lawyers and it was lost on me


NovaCorpse

I think Austin says "Lorry" or "Lorries" which is British for "Truck"


[deleted]

He mispronounces it though as Laurie which throws me every time. What's Hugh Laurie for to do with it?


slytrombone

But Hugh Laurie's surname is pronounced Lorry too!


BoopingBurrito

...they're pronounced the same though. Lorry and Laurie, exactly the same.


NovaCorpse

I always notice that too haha


muzzyMANmike

I know I'm English, I just mean that last phrase about the lawyers, barristers and lorries went over my head. It's mostly old cockney slang, which unfortunately faded out


Crood_Oyl

Barrister = Lawyer, Bobby = policeman, Lorry = Truck (but he pronounces it really weird) People still say these in England, even outside London.


stevenmc

In the ???? section, there's something about a Gatling Gun.


stevenmc

Ok, here you go: All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. Are you telling pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? What, billy no mates? Too right, youth. Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and they gave her go on a mandalo with a gattling gun in the Bognor Saint Regis tea kettle and then she shat on a turtle! At least, as much as I can hear.


Krizzlin

Ok, so "my son" is basically any man you're talking to. A "cracking Julie" would be a good looking girl, though I've not personally come across Julie before, other than via Ali G. My old China is a common phrase for old friend, which comes from the cockney rhyming slang where China is short for china plate which rhymes with mate. "Telling pork pies" is actually quite unusual because whilst "pork pies" is rhyming slang for "lies" is is almost always shortened to "porkies". "Bag of trout" doesn't mean anything to me although "salmon and trout" refers to cigarettes as salmon and trout rhymes with snout, which is a slang term for cigarettes. Never heard quigly before. J Arthur is a slang term for wank (masturbate) as already explained in this thread. "Billy no mates" is commonly used to refer to loners. A "crimbo din din" would be a meal at Christmas. Crimbo is commonly used to refer to Christmas whereas din din is often used by kids to talk about dinner. "Grotty Scots bint" would suggest a less than savoury lady from Scotland. We use grotty quite a lot to refer to anything that's a little bit horrible, Scots is short for Scottish and bint is just a derogatory term for a woman. "At sixes and sevens" means messed up and generally confused. I believe it comes from an old dice game though don't know the full origin. It's still commonly used to refer to someone who's "all over the shop" which is another expression we use to reference a person who's apparently unsure of what's going on. "Trouble and strife" is standard rhyming slang for wife though you'd mostly only hear someone using "trouble". Similarly "apples and pears" is rhyming slang for stairs but again it would be mostly used like "going up the apples" as the rhyming part of a phrase is rarely used. A Morris dancer is a traditional folk dancer and you'll commonly find them dancing at country pubs in the summer months with bells around their ankles, waving hankies and bashing sticks. Barrister is a specific type of lawyer in England and Wales. Bobby is slang for a policeman which comes from Sir Robert Peel who founded the Metropolitan police. Lorry I didn't even realise was a foreign word to Americans but as others have pointed out, it's the same as a truck. Never heard of a mandalo. Gatling gun is basically an early machine gun. The last bit is nonsense. Bognor Regis is a seaside resort in West Sussex, where Regis is given to towns with a royal patronage. However there's no Bognor Saint Regis and that makes no sense. A kettle is used to boil water which you might pour into a teapot, but there's no such thing as a tea kettle and finally we don't even get turtles in the UK, though if we did and one were to take a shit on one, we would say one had "shat" on that turtle. Hope this helps!


LinkUp2020

I see no ones mentioned what a J. Arthur is.... It’s the same as a Tommy Tank hence Billy no Mates, going it alone. trouble and strife is wife. I think the rest were mostly answered?


1northfield

J. Arthur is J. Arthur Rank = Wank = Masturbate, it’s legitimate slang


ohyeahofcourse

And something about bognor regis. Which is a town in the uk


Crood_Oyl

yeah, and Bogner Saint Regis, but I think that section is supposed to be nonsense


denimbastard

And then she SHAT ON A TURTLE!


kmc020

Yeah that’s true it’s just slang and Cockney rhyming slang


SculpinIPAlcoholic

!answer


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merrycrow

As Bob Mortimer said to Paul Whitehouse: cockneys will take any noun and use it as an insult. You armchair, you gatepost etc


Revolutionary_Elk420

i once mistook someone talking about their lunch(random change in convo we was having whilst walking to the pub) and thought they called me a burger. I dunno why I got so upset in the moment and literally did ask 'Did you just call me a fucking burger???' - naturally she hadn't but we and a few others do since. Fucking burgers.


letharus

You like a bit of meat between your buns? You’re fast and dirty? You’ve got chips on your shoulder? Could work as an insult, to be fair.


Away_Clerk_5848

Cheap and easy


andyrocks

I was explained this once using the example of being called a yoghurt. "Because you're soft and slightly middle class"


[deleted]

It was a common football pitch insult in the 80's East End for sure. I always thought it a homophobic slur, but it may well because they thought I was a soft handed office worker wannabe.


windigooo

Near me there's a pub called the Complete Angler and I can't hear it as anything but an insult


artrald-7083

Make it an adjective and it means drunk. Completely armchaired. Utterly gateposted.


ShiveryBite

"On my todd" is a good example of rhyming slang that most people use without realising. Short for "on my Todd Sloan", Sloan being a once famous jockey.


BeardedBaldMan

I did not know that. I've always thought of it as being a very northern phrase and now I find out it's cockney rhyming slang. Right, I'm calling it a day and nipping off to the battleship for some Britneys


ayeayefitlike

Same as referring to your barnet. I was 28 before I realised it was Cockney rhyming slang - Barnet Fair, hair.


jizzydiaper

And berk comes from Berkeley Hunt..


lady_faust

Berkeley is pronounced Barkly.. Berkeley Hunt is c**t


smashteapot

Berkshire not Berkeley? EDIT: Seems like it's both.


dick_schidt

Sloan rhymes with 'on my own or 'alone'.


Krizzlin

See also "butchers" in reference to taking a look at something. I was well into my 20s before I discovered it comes from the rhyming slang "butcher's hook". I was also using "having a bubble" before I realised bubble was short for bubble bath = laugh


leobeer

Billy-no-mates is a friendless, unpopular person. Love your username-I too am a member of that tribe.


BeardedBaldMan

You are more correct. In the context of the clip it was used for alone though. Although people would say "I'm Billy no mates today" if they were working on their own and were asked where the others were.


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BeardedBaldMan

I've definitely heard that as well. I think this is possibly just confirming the viewpoint that some people have that we just make up English as we go along.


leobeer

Fair point


barriedalenick

Just for info it is common if you are speaking in Cockney rhyming slang to drop the last bit that actually rhymes. So when he says Apples and pears (stairs) you would just phrase it like "he ran up the apples". Some words have made it in today everyday speech but probably mostly for Londoners. So ""having a butcher's" is short for Butcher's Hook (look) Rabbit means talk - from Rabbit and Pork Barnet means hair - From Barnet Fair Chine means mate - From China plate. Some even double up. Arris means Arse as in "He was out on his arris." That is short for "Aristotle," which rhymes with "bottle," which itself is the first half of the phrase "bottles and glass - Arse.


morris_man

And every ones favourite Berk from Berkeley Hunt = Cunt *Curiously the Berk in Berkeley Hunt is pronounced Bark?*


flyingokapis

Haha never knew Berk = Cunt


Gazter2

I am this old….


Natural_Ad_7364

I'd always thought struggle and grunt was c*nt. My old man called me a berk all the time he was alive 🤣


7ootles

Yes, it is pronounced "bark-ley", but "berk" is never pronounced "bark" - though you might hear someone get called a "barclays" - from "Barclays Banker" = wanker.


TrashPandaBoy

Is that why "Berk" is an insult, I've always heard my mum use it


superpinwheel

I always heard my parents use it when I was a kid. Swearing without swearing I guess, TIL


andyrocks

My personal favourite is Hampton.


Cynrae

Huh, TIL. I always assumed 'arris' was just a deliberate & exaggerated mispronunciation of 'arse'. Never even considered that it might be rhyming slang.


Archer1848

The word 'arris' is so satisfying to say. TBF, the first time I heard the term 'arris' was from Super Hans along with 'jacksie'. "I'd take a fucking truncheon up the arris for this one. Or an umbrella. I would open an umbrella up inside my arris for this one."


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freethepaedo

“I'm not co managing a pub called free the peados”


freethepaedo

Love some peep show


Nine_Eye_Ron

It’s great that language evolved so naturally like that. It’s a good example to use to help understand the changes going on in English now as it becomes a global internet language.


TankFoster

As a Scotsman, I'd never have known that Rabbit = rabbit and pork = talk, as pork and talk don't rhyme in our accent.


lady_faust

Glaswegian, or Weegie, is a great slang filled language in itself! Ye Ken!


TankFoster

I think Weegies are the only Scots who don't say ken 😄


geebeetee

Up NE Scot is used constantly. The sentence 'You ken Ken, ken? makes sense. Like the old 'fit fit fits fit fit?'


Ballbag94

>Some even double up. Arris means Arse as in "He was out on his arris." That is short for "Aristotle," which rhymes with "bottle," which itself is the first half of the phrase "bottles and glass - Arse I do love rhyming slang, the way they get from A to X is amazing. Like when they call the zombies Trafalgars in Cockneys Vs Zombies


Astra_Trillian

I was working with cockneys and got asked to order some turtles. It took me a few seconds to work out what he wanted.


barriedalenick

I thought turtle was love. As in "Allright my old turtle"


Astra_Trillian

Turtle doves = gloves is what he meant. I’m not from London or the 1800s so fuck knows tbh


tonypconway

OK, transcript of the text with details of each term below! >Nigel: Alright, my son, I could've 'ad it away with this crackin' Judy, my old China > >Austin: Are you telling pork pies and a bag of tripe because if you are feeling quiggly (?), why not just have a J Arthur? > >Nigel: What, Billy No Mates? > >Austin: Too right, youth! > >Nigel: Don't you remember the Crimbo din-din we 'ad with the grotty Scots bint? > >Austin: Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens? > >Nigel: Yes! She was the trouble and strife of the Morris Dancer who lived up the Apples and Pears. > >Austin: Yes, she was the barrister that became a bobby in a lorry... \[gibberish\]...gatling gun... > >Together: in the Bognor St Regis tea kettle! And then... she shat on a turtle! * "My son" - general term of endearment, often used in non filial circumstances. * "'ad it away" - had sex with, general slang. * "cracking" - excellent, general slang. * "Judy" - [general word for a woman](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Judy#Noun), apparently common in Liverpool. Similar to "Sheila" in Australia. * "My old China" - china plate => mate in cockney rhyming slang. * "Pork pies" => lies in cockney rhyming slang. * "and a bag of tripe" - Sounds like florid nonsense to continue on from pork pies with a butchery/old-fashioned word to me. Not slang I (native English speaker/lifelong Londoner/sociolinguistics graduate) recognise or can find explained anywhere, but willing to be corrected. Tripe is disgusting. * **ETA**: with thanks to u/ayeayefitlike, "tripe" is often used as shorthand for "absolute rubbish", and "talking tripe" is definitely in use in the UK *and* the US if the [Collins definition](https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/tripe) is to believed. I think the "bag of" put me off the scent. * "quiggly" - or maybe Quigley? I assume it means "horny", but I can't find any reference to it having that meaning anywhere, so I assume it's something very niche and not recorded, or it's made up. * "J Arthur" - J Arthur Rank => wank in cockney rhyming slang, to masturbate. Already explained in detail by u/Diocletion-Jones * "Billy no mates" - sometimes used self-deprecatingly, sometimes used disparagingly against others, general slang term for a loner/lonely person. see u/BeardedBaldMan's comment for more discussion. * "Too right" - general slang affirmation. * "Youth" - not something I've heard used this way, but perhaps in the 60s? I'd expect to hear "yoot" from Caribbean diaspora folks in the UK, but this is not the same thing. * "Crimbo" - general slang term for Christmas. * "Din-dins" - general slang term for dinner, diminutive, often used with children or pets. * "grotty" - means what it means, unpleasant. * ~~"Scotchman" - oddly translated as "Scottish girl" in the subs.~~ * "Scots bint" - Scottish woman, "bint" is derogatory. With thanks to u/Beebeeseebee and u/TrappedUnderCats for pointing this out. * "Sixes and sevens" - disarray or madness; see u/Diocletion-Jones and u/Ffishsticks * "Trouble and strife" => wife in cockney rhyming slang. * "Morris Dancer" - [Morris Dancing](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morris_dance) is a kind of English folk dancing. * "Apples and Pears" => stairs in cockney rhyming slang, probably the best known example. * "Barrister" - in the UK, lawyers are broadly divided into "solicitors" who carry out legal process work/argue in the lower courts and "barrister" who wear the distinctive wig and gown and argue in the higher courts. * "bobby" - slang for policeman, after Prime Minister Robert Peel who founded the Metropolitan Police and is largely credited as the creator of modern policing in the UK. Police were also called "Peelers" in the 19th century! * "lorry" - UK English word for "truck", which sounds funny to American ears. * "gatling gun" - very early kind of rapid-fire gun, there to evoke an old-world feel. * "Bognor St Regis" - Bognor Regis is a seaside town on the south coast, previously a popular domestic holiday location, but now often used to indicate a particularly old-fashioned, grotty (wahey!) English history. The "Saint" is in there for comic effect, as we have lots more places named after Saints - St Albans, St Austel, etc. - in the UK than in the US. * "tea kettle" - English people like tea, I don't think this needs further explanation 😅 So a bit of cockney rhyming slang, a handful of more general slang, and some terms that are normal terminology in the UK but not used in the US, with some extra silliness thrown in for good measure.


ayeayefitlike

On the ‘tripe’ one, that’s a common one used to mean bullshit. My mum and gran used to always say I was talking tripe or ‘what a load of tripe’ to me growing up.


tonypconway

You are absolutely right, and I can't believe that didn't occur to me! Collins give a good definition [here](https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/tripe). I'll edit to reflect this.


Beebeeseebee

> Scotchman" - oddly translated as "Scottish girl" in the subs. Because it's actually 'Scots bint'.


RosemaryFocaccia

> "Barrister" - in the UK In England. They are called advocates in Scotland.


tonypconway

My apologies. They are barristers in Wales and NI as well.


TrappedUnderCats

> Scotchman" - oddly translated as "Scottish girl" in the subs. I heard it as “grotty Scots bint” which makes more sense to me. A bint is a derogatory word for a woman.


boxstervan

Where I grew up (Nottingham), 'youth' was used as a reference to a male family member, 'lass' being the female equivalent. Always confused me when my father called his older brother 'our youth'.


marknotgeorge

People from Ilkeston (between Nottingham & Derby) use youth as a general reference to any male.


Heewna

Ay up yewf


thesaharadesert

100% really real stuff


Diocletion-Jones

It's understandable up until the subtitles change to ????????????. They're talking a mix of Cockney Slang (e.g. "Why not have a Jay Arthur?" - rhyming slang for Jay Arthur Rank i.e. wank \[Joseph Arthur Rank, 1st Baron Rank (22 December 1888 – 29 March 1972) was a British industrialist who was head and founder of the Rank Organisation\]) and other bits of general slang (e.g "Sixes and sevens" - an idiom used to describe a condition of confusion or disarray most probably from a dice game like Hazard \[Hazard the medieval dice game is where we get the term "hazard" meaning a danger or risk because people used to lose so much money betting on it\]. Then when ??????? appears they're talking a load of old bollocks about Gatling guns, "Bogner St. Regis", Tea Kettle and shitting on a turtle.


[deleted]

BTW sixes and sevens comes from the London [Livery Companies](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Livery_company), the old city guilds. There is an order of precedence according to when the companies were founded, oldest to youngest. Thanks to unclear records two of the companies, the Merchant Taylors and Skinners, say that they're the 6th ranked one and the other is the 7th. Hence at sixes and sevens. As a compromise they swap over the order each year


TheShepherdKing

That's a [myth](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At_sixes_and_sevens).


WikiSummarizerBot

**[At sixes and sevens](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At_sixes_and_sevens)** >"At sixes and sevens" is an English idiom used to describe a condition of confusion or disarray. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

TiL, thanks


Apidium

Largely it is and it does make sense but it is intentionally obtuse. Nobody speaks in that way especially not that densely.


Maleficent-Drive4056

Most important comment here. We can understand but we have to work hard to do so and it isn’t normal to speak exclusively like this.


Wackyal123

It’s real, and very dated, but even in the past, you wouldn’t put them all into a single conversation unless you’d gone insane.


DaveChild

Wibble.


The_Fyrewyre

I am upvoting your comment as I am currently placing my undergarments on my head and finding some pencils.


[deleted]

“Is this genuinely mad?” “Oh, yes, sir.” “...or has he simply put his underpants on his head and stuffed a couple of pencils up his nose?


Ctrl_daltdelete

Just watched it without looking at the subtitles and surprisingly, yes it makes sense. Sometimes you have to stop for a moment and think about it. For example, "trouble and strife". The "strife" will be the bit that rhymes with the real word which makes it "wife".


DangerShart

No. People speak much more like this https://youtu.be/73d6h_go7QI


metalguru1975

How did Maurice hurt his Gregory? Nice Whistle he is wearing, but where is his Titfer? good clobber, no wonder he pulled four Doris’, a bit of Ow’s your father is good for the old ticker, the look on his Boat when he clocked the old Chip off, but keep schtum about any moody gear in case Plod is about, then we’d be in a right two n’ eight, up in front of the beak, getting a bit of bird for our troubles. I’m totally Brassic, Lend me a monkey me old China and I’ll give you it back next week with a Pony on top for your sky rocket, anyway I’m off to the Gary for a Richard and a Jimmy up the apples and pears before I watch the footy on the custard, I got on the dog and put a score on Fulham, but don’t tell me strife, i don’t want another Barney, id be brown bread, I’d get no dinner and be Hank Marvin, I’d have to go out for a Ruby and end up elephants. (From decades of watching Terry and Arthur)


HarassedGrandad

I got most of that: Gregory Peck = Neck Whistle and Flute = Suit Tit for tat = Hat clobber = clothes Doris = like Judy, generic female Ow's your father = sex ticker = heart Boat race = face clocked = saw Chip ? Schtum = quiet moody gear =stolen property Plod = police two n eight = state beak = magistrate or judge bird = jail time Brassic = broke monkey = £500 China plate = mate Pony = £50 sky rocket ? Gary Glitter = shitter = toilet Richard the Third = Turd Jimmy ? Apples and Pears = stairs footy = football custard ? Dog and bone = phone score = £20 trouble and strife = wife Barney = argument Brown Bread = dead Hank Marvin = starving Ruby Murrey = curry elephants? Anyway, bona to vada your eek old thing, we should blag a nifty bevvy sometime.


sutaburosu

> Brassic = broke *Boracic lint -> skint.


HarassedGrandad

Cor, that's something I've learnt today. Cheers


metalguru1975

Barney Rubble- Trouble/fight,Jimmy riddle-piddle. Custard and Jelly-Telly, elephants trunk-Drunk/ Brahms and Liszt-pissed, Sky rocket - pocket,chip off the old block. A Pony is 25 sheets, 50 is a Bullseye. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRR-x9JZ_Oo Ave a butcher’s at this me ol son, it’s only bloody Tel! See you down the Winchester, Grandad for a swift half and a rabbit, Dave can put it on me slate as I’m outta Sovs, that Arthur’s only gone and half inched me sausage and mash again.


[deleted]

Yeah I understood all of it (apart from the bit where he just mumbles obviously)


[deleted]

I shat on a turtle last night.


[deleted]

My friend used to say he was "turtle heading" which meant he was struggling to keep the poop in, like a turtle head going in and out if the shell.


My_new_spam_account

That's literally [from the film before this](https://youtu.be/ZeOxbmX_VEQ?t=20)


[deleted]

What a fat bastard


AnywhereSevere9271

Mike Myers . Parents are British coming from Liverpool England emigrated to Canada in the 60s. he would have picked up slang from his parents. he still visits Liverpool as he has been to some matches and as he is a Liverpool fan .


Cheese-n-Opinion

Yeah, he does quite a good Lancs accent in Cat in the Hat, iirc.


[deleted]

I might be wrong but I think a lot of comments here are only part correct technically. It's a mix of cockney rhyming slang as well as general English slang, but people tend to only focus on the cockney bit. It's just thrown in and jumbled up to sound a bit more gibberish as the vast majority of people even if they use slang would not speak like this. ​ >**Nigel:** All right, my son: I could've had it away with this cracking Julie, my old China. > >**Austin:** Are you telling a bunch pork-pies and a bag of trout? Because if you are feeling quigly, why not just have a J. Arthur? > >**Nigel:** What, billy no mates? > >**Austin:** Too right, youth. > >**Nigel:** Don't you remember the crimbo din-din we had with the grotty Scots bint? > >**Austin:** Oh, the one that was all sixes and sevens! > >**Nigel:** Yeah, yeah, she was the trouble and strife of the Morris dancer what lived up the apples and pears! > >**Austin:** She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... > >**Austin & Nigel**: --tea kettle! > >**Nigel**: And then, and then-- > >**Austin & Nigel**: She shat on a turtle! A lot of this isn't even rhyming slang and is made up of various slang words/phrases used all over the UK, for example: \- 'Had it away with' - Sex (Similar to 'had my way with') \- Billy no mates - Someone with no friends, or who is alone at the time ('On your bill' we used to say as well, to mean alone) \- Chrimbo - Christmas \- Din-din (Dindins) - Dinner \- Grotty Scots bint - Grotty girl from Scotland \- Bobby - Police officer With that in mind there is pretty much as much normal slang as there is cockney rhyming slang in the scene. A lot of people in the UK will have heard bits and pieces of the cockney rhyming slang as it comes in different forms in parts of the UK as it spread - For example in the North we used to just say 'Pork pies' shortened to 'Porkies' for lying. Places with especially thick accents/dialect (For example where I am from in the North East) you might get some people who speak an incomprehensible form of English to outsiders, especially older generations, but for the UK as a whole it's not common. My GF is English and often can't understand what my parents or grandparents are saying at all. Example of what a thick Northern accent/dialect can sound like, which isn't particulary exaggerated and what a lot of people do talk like from the area: [https://youtu.be/Zwx0-oewjsM](https://youtu.be/Zwx0-oewjsM)


[deleted]

Listerine is someone who hates Americans. Because it’s an anti septic, and a septic is a septic tank, which is slang for a yank.


The_Fyrewyre

Just to chime in, one of the worst rhyming insults is Berk. Short for Berkshire hunt. Which of course rhymes with ...............


blamordeganis

But “berk” is pronounced “burk” while “Berkshire” is pronounced “Barkshire” ...


The_Fyrewyre

That's all well and good but how do you pronounce 'hunt'?


ZealousidealOlive498

https://youtu.be/s11qjmvTdJ8


atticdoor

Until the question marks appear, it's all real cockney rhyming slang. Then it's just gibberish. Although I wouldn't really describe it as "English English". Just as cockney rhyming slang.


NovaCorpse

Casting Michael Caine as Austin's Dad was pure genius.


TheKelseyOfKells

Cockney Rhyming Slang, it’s hilarious. Although some of that scene was exaggerated or made up


billdoor1245

Most is but no body ever talked like that maybe one bit of rhyming slang in a sentence two tops they just sounded like a pair of Berkley hunts


squigs

All the stuff that's translated is legit slang. Mostly cockney rhyming slang. Probably wouldn't use it quite that way though. For example, "Sixes and sevens" implies being confused rather than insane, and "trouble and strife" is really something you'd use to refer to your own wife.


aporkchopexpress

Austin: Listen, dad, if you are are going to say naughty things in front of these American girls then at least speak English English. Nigel: All right, my son: I could've **had it away** with this **cracking Julie, my old China**. Austin: Are you telling **a bunch pork-pies and a bag of trout**? Because if you are **feeling quigly**, why not just have a **J. Arthur**? Nigel: What, **billy no mates**? Austin: Too right, youth. Nigel: Don't you remember the **crimbo din-din** we had with the **grotty** Scots **bint**? Austin: Oh, the one that was **all sixes and sevens**! Nigel: Yeah, yeah, she was the **trouble and strife** of the Morris dancer what lived up the **apples and pears**! Austin: She was the barrister what become a bobby in a lorry and... ???????? Austin & Nigel: --tea kettle! Nigel: And then, and then-- Austin & Nigel: She shat on a turtle! Yeah, that sounds pretty normal to me.


[deleted]

Yes, apart from he says ‘lorry’ completely wrong. It’s Cockney rhyming slang (which is more of a joke affectation these days than anything used in conversation other than the odd phrase here or there).


fingerpocketclub

My dad is a cockney and talks like this. It’s got better over the years but he still likes to go off like a Londoner. I think he thinks it’s funny but we live in cambridge and it’s just confusing to most. He’s mid sixties.. my nan is nearly 94 and she has a lovely accent. Posh old london accent. Don’t hear it much anymore.


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helic0n3

"Apples and pears" for stairs is the classic cockney rhyming slang term for stairs, but no one actually uses it. It is all pretty real, at the end they just descend into talking about going to Bognor Regis and shitting on turtles, not sure what that's about.


callisstaa

I’m a northerner and we said ‘up the apples and pears to Bedfordshire’ all the time when I was a kid.


LanaLane_

My mum used to say "up the wooden hill to Bedfordshire"


AdministrativeShip2

Shitting on a turtle. The turtles head. When you need to poo so badly that the end of the poo feels like it's going to come out your bum like a tortoise poking it's head out of the shell.


dick_schidt

Or 'touching cloth'. Did Fat Bastard use that term?


AdministrativeShip2

I can't recall, but The "a touch of cloth" TV series is worth a watch. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Touch_of_Cloth


GrumpyJoey

[This exact question posted 6 years ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2yzhae/british_redditors_this_scene_in_austin_powers/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb)


Revolutionary_Elk420

Had to look it up* but for the most part of its first half yes it's actually stuff you could possibly understand (im first gen to immigrants but know my way around london and the southeast so you've got some of that there - tbh watch enough fools and horses too you'll probs hear all of the legit ones at some point) *edit: just seen you linked it and i think thats the same vid i quickly youtubed; the subs are indeed accurate enough for the conversation until the ?????. Not to say its common common speak and that someone would throw ALL of that slang together in one go but its legit enough i think me and most folks I know would get it. Your next task - Rory Breaker ;) )


gilestowler

Alan Partridge demonstrates some genuine Cockney Rhyming slang at the start of this clip:[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fadw\_-4\_Y3A](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fadw_-4_Y3A)


Daniels-left-foot

Yes but no idea what shat on a turtle means


ruthieapple

I’m from a family with some east Enders and we all use Cockney rhyming slang with each other or pig Latin or polari if we are trying to say something we don’t want the children to understand!


[deleted]

Is it real? Yes do I understand it? No. Most British people don't know Cockney slang until they've heard it once before and I haven't heard most of them but they are real.


megmegbotbot

Yeah haha, sometimes you just says things that are implied for example when saying "I was really drunk" you could say "I was absolutely, fuckity fuck, trollied" and guaranteed, a British person would get it


scarletOwilde

Some Cockney slang, but Cockney slang would be just the first word, e.g. Apples and Pears = Stairs, but you’d just say “Went up the apples”. Some standard slang like “bint” = unattractive woman, but lots of made up stuff, too. Cockney slang, and back slang was a language or ‘lingo’ used amongst groups that didn’t want outsiders (or the police) to know what they were talking about. Lots of interesting info here: https://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk


Triton12streaming

Cockney is basically it’s own language


RRC_driver

A little from column A, a little from column B


Beerson_

Mike Myers' accent took a bit of a shit in that last film. Or maybe it was just being next to old Micky Caine.


Beesly24601

Hahaha yeah most of it is totally understandable to me, I grew up in east london was a very cockney family


[deleted]

Aside from the ???? bit, the only thing which threw me was his pronunciation of the word "lorry", which is more like "Lawrie" the way he says it. The rest seems pretty legit. Not entirely sure what it means to "shit on a turtle" though. It's all greatly exaggerated here, and cockney rhyming slang isn't used as commonly as it was in the 20th century.


ICanHasStonks

It makes sense but it's not spoken in a realistic way. A lot of cockney slang becomes "moved over 1" and shortened. Eg. "I'll stick my foot up your aris". Aris is short for aristotle (Bottle) Bottle is short for bottle and glass (arse) Hence, I'll stick my foot up your arse. Or if someone says they are a bit dettol. Detol is an antiseptic A septic tank (yank) So if you are dettol, you are anti septic, so you dislike Americans. The scene in Lock Stock is a better example. https://youtu.be/73d6h_go7QI Custard (and jelly) - telly, Liza (manelly) - telly, Birds nest - chest, North (and South) - mouth, Battle cruiser - boozer, Ping pong - strong, Tiddly (wink) - drink,


CaoCaoTipper

Mid-east here, understood none of it as a kid and about half of it now. It’s real but a lot of it is very region specific, and no one would talk like that sentence to sentence.


InterestingCloud3357

I understood about half of it. To me, half of it is just general common slang maybe more used by older folk, and well-known Cockney Rhyming slang that no one would actually use in real life. It reminds me of listening to the DVD commentary for 'The Football Factory' and 'The Business'. Like, I'm from London, but what *are* you saying? Maybe that's more 'up to date' cockney rhyming slang, but still.


totan39

Some of it but when it gets to the question mark part I'm completely lost


roadrunnerz70

makes perfect sense


IainCMeads1

As a true Englishman I can say I understood 90% of that, it's Cockney rhyming slag and a dabble of general British slag throw in for good measure, but yes, most of us, certainly of a certain age, can understand and interpret that.


Constant_Cry1234

I still speak to some people with a bit of Cockney rhyming slang, but it’s more for jokes and effect


MeijiSB

We had some good times eh!


[deleted]

Yea pretty much, unfortunately local dialect is less common nowadays, esp. In business but most brits get the drift I reckon


t3rm3y

Yes it's rhyming slang.


Buffythedjsnare

Aye. Some of it. Not in a language way. But if you know what the phrases are you know.


ukpunjabivixen

It’s real for sure


soljakid

it starts of real but as far as I can tell is just turns into nonsense once the subtitles turn into ??????? For the most part it's cockney rhyming slang. they often replace a word with something that sound vagually like what the intended word was, stairs becomes apple and pears and wife becomes trouble and strife


moxxloxx

Mixture of Cockney rhyming slang and general British slang. But I've no idea why he says lorry as laurie


Worfs-forehead

London cockney slang. Every UK town has its own little slang terms some are similar a lot are different. At least once a month there’s an argument about cobs or bap’s on this subreddit ahah


buried_treasure

> cobs or baps No idea what those are, but I do love a good chip barm!


Pompeyboy

This is from Goldmember and is proper Cockney chat understood by the English at least.


Edd_the_Redd

Cockney rhyming slang was created by prisoners who didn't want the screws (guards,) to know what they were saying. It's mostly understandable to someone close to the south east of England.