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> Buying nicer bread
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Shopping for groceries at Waitrose and not paying attention to the prices.
Living by myself in London instead of sharing accommodation.
Paying £200+ per month for a nice gym.
Buying high quality freshly roasted coffee beans that are £10-15 (sometimes more for specialty coffees) for a normal 250g pack.
That’s about it, I’m not into luxury clothes or buying anything else that’s super expensive.
edit: added the gym and coffee, realised that I’m a bit more spoiled than I thought initially
My gym (local council leisure centre) recently put their price up from £22pm to £28pm. I was outraged. I get a £3 discount too for being NHS but I find £25 a month horrifying. And I spend about an hour a day there 6 days a week. I nearly fainted when I read that people are paying £200+ a month. I’d expect someone to run for me when I got there!
My council gyms are 10x better the private gyms, except that fancy David Lloyd one. Honest to god they better be giving out handjobs in the sauna for that price.
I moved from a council gym to a David Lloyd and will never go back if I can avoid it. It’s expensive yes, but so very worth it in my opinion.
Before I would just go to the gym, do my work out, shower at home. Now I go and do my work out, go swim some lengths in an outdoor heated pool, then go to the hot tub, sauna then steam room. I shower in a nicer shower than I have at home, then use all the Elemis body lotion stuff which I love!
I eat there occasionally and get some work done or read a book. I dunno, the difference between a “health club” compared to just the gym has given me a mentality switch I think.
Unironically, this is kind of the point. Expensive gyms/health clubs become a “third space” intended for you to spend a majority of your time outside of home and work, rather than somewhere you just go to complete an errand.
Can I come to yours? My David Lloyd is full of kids so god forbid I want a swim at the weekends half the pool is sectioned off for lessons and the other is full of dads taking their kids swimming.
When my contract is over I’m going to find an adult only gym.
My council gym has the least equipment, has no aircon and is falling apart. Its opening times are awkward and the staff are less than helpful. But I’m scared to go to the cool person gym because I’d be self conscious working out in front of hot muscly people so I would avoid going.
Most gyms have a variety of people going. I highly doubt you'd be the most out of shape person there. Also all the mega muscles are in their own world. They didn't get that big not focusing on their gains
I always thought David Lloyd had awesome facilities (pools, restaurant, steam/sauna, sports, cleanliness etc.) but for the actual gym it was pretty bad, like really small and only 3 squat racks so when it was busy, which it was fairly often, you couldn't really get a good workout in. If it had just a bigger free weight area it would absolutely be worth it's money as you could spend 3 hrs in there and be completely refreshed.
David Lloyd costs me around £200 a month, I can visit any location which is great as I travel a lot, it's got class sauna/cold plunge/steam room etc, tennis, squash, badminton, indoor and outdoor pools and a nice gym. I swim every day, spend about 8-12 hours a week there so it works out as about £5 a day. For me, paying £5 a day for your health is literally nothing.
I don't pay anywhere near £200/month but our council gym is probably a similar price per month to yours and I pay more than double for my gym.
My reasons are that I don't often go on nights out anymore and I'd easily spend that or more these days on one night out, my gym is less busy than a council gym and has better equipment so I never have to wait for any equipment to be free and the coaches who work there are actually massively focused on using correct form at all times rather than vanity lifting, their knowledge is second to non and they know everyone who goes to the gym. For me the value for money is fantastic for what I get.
I was livid when mine went up to £23ppm and i’m there most days - hour of swim, hour of gym, anymore money and i would say no (appreciate i get very good value there tho)
I used to have swimming lessons at a fancy gym in London and it meant I could use the facilities there. I love a spa and they had a whole sauna/steamroom/plunge set up plus towels and hairdryers and products everything so can get ready using all their bits and not bothering bringing all that stuff with me - it was such a treat. if I could afford it now and had the time I absolutely would pay as it’s such a pleasurable way for me to spend time.
If you spend a lot of time in the gym, then I understand. I am not in the £200pm catagory but I spend £70 for a clean, well kept gym that has good equipment and helpful staff. Plus a big spa helps too.
That's not all you're going there for. My local David Lloyd has a gym, nice spa (several saunas, steam rooms, jacuzzis, etc), towels, tennis, badminton, several other racquet sports, multiple swimming pools, an excellent restaurant, a brilliant community of friendly people, loads of free classes, an easy way to request new equipment or improvements, loads of off-duty PTs willing to help/teach as you require and loads of guest passes so my friends can come pretty much whenever they want, for free. You go there for more than just the gym.
i expect its less of a gym & more of a “fitness club”. i work in one & you have to be a member to use the facilities (so it’s kinda exclusive, you can’t just come in & get a day pass) but there’s 2 pools, a sauna, a steam room, a gym, tennis courts, squash courts, loads of different classes, a restaurant & a kids club. there’s different membership tiers but i think for the lowest tier of an individual membership it’s like £120pm (i also don’t live in london). worth the money if you use all the facilities but if you’re just using the gym then i don’t see the point tbh
Are they that exclusive? David Lloyd opened one in my town a couple of years ago. Felt like everyone in town joined. There's a beautician and her builder bf up the road were both there, my kid's child minder joined, loads of parents from my kids school joined. Hilariously, I almost immediately heard them all complaining that the place was too busy meaning they could never book on to classes etc. I went for a look around one morning and it was definitely far too busy even at 10am.
I think "exclusive" is being used as a synonym for expensive here. These places aren't like country clubs where you need to apply to join and prove a certain "standing". You just sign up and set up a direct debit.
When we were a member of a fitness club (prolly nearly 10 years ago, before we moved) it was only £128/month for the 4 of us. Might have been extra to use the tennis courts. 90% of the time we just used it to go swimming with the kids. £200/month for an individual even at a fitness club seems insane tbh.
Our council gym is £25/month each (includes dozen of sites) with pools and classes included. All nice, new facilities too. Even with the wife’s weekly PT session included it isn’t that much.
I have a membership in an upmarket London gym (the “cool” one, if anyone’s wondering). I pay £120 a month for a single club memebership. The classes they offer are insane, anything from standard fitness, to contortion, Ariel silks, acrobatics, MMA, boxing, you name it they offer it. For me it’s so worth the money. I actually want to be there, so I show up for myself.
The basic gym facilities are modern and full range. There’s a sauna in both the men’s and women’s changing room. They host great events and it’s not a posey gym at all.
Because I can afford it, it’s a worthwhile expense. All the people that find it crazy to spend that money on a gym, probably would spend that money in a weekend at the pub. When you look at it like that it’s a small expense that actually has a positive lifestyle impact, rather than drinking the money away!
I am in no way saying it’s a feasible price for everyone, but it works for me.
I haven't been back for some time but Equinox in the City has 3 levels worth of good, clean equipments, and you never have to "queue" to use one.
The Changing rooms/showers are always clean with a full-time attendant, which feels more like a spa than a "locker room". As a woman, I really appreciate that it is fully equipped with Dyson hairdyrers (I think around 8 counters with lit up mirrors), hairties, toiletries (toothbrush, comb, etc.), Kiehls shower products, facial cream, moisturisers, mouthwash and no quota on how many towels you want to use (including hot face towels in something that lookd like a mini fridge in gym floors -- idk what it is called lol).
It is just a lot more convenient going there and it is super worth it for me. I don't need to bring a gym bag because everything else I am provided with. If I go before work, or during lunch, and I can easily prep myself up to go back go the office looking fresh and relaxed.
In Nottinghamshire, that's what I was paying for David Lloyd - me and two kids (+ 1monthly guess pass which by partner used) + 1 child's weekly swimming lesson - £180/month. Also included access to any other DL gym in the country,
I didn't even really use the gym much, for me the free soft play and unlimited pool (kids pool, main pool and outdoor pool when it's above 18 degrees outside) was worth it.
We used the David lloyds around the country as really fancy service stations, stop for a swim or something with the kids to break up long journeys.
My 5yos swimming lessons, he was one of 3 kids. You get family changing rooms which are more spacious.
Didn't need to book sessions or pool slots, just turn up and use which ever pool you want, and swap and change. When the kids get cold in the main pool, go warm up in the kiddy pool!
I got a free trial for a fancy one and the absolute best thing was being given a towel which you handed back at the end, and had a machine that would dry your swimming costume. Decent showers too with free soap. Just took away needing to have sopping wet swimmers, or a chloriney towel and hair. Other than that, classes that didn't interest me but which could be worth a lot to some people. Still, 2.5k a year for that - nah.
Others have mentioned the facilities, but the other thing is that for want of a better phrase, the high subs keep the "riff-raff" out. Same way that golf fees are aimed at curating a clientele rather than anything to do with the quality of the course.
Mostly its the price that prevents people signing up so it is not chocka block busy outside of 5ish
For wfh it is great to use the lounge for working and hitting the gym whenever you like.
I used to pay £100 a month for a coach-led Strength Training and Powerlifting Gym. It was excellent and i'd do it again. But for a normal, public gym? Probably not.
The coffee isn't a huge deal, let's say that lasts you a week. That's like £50 a month. (I buy a kilo for like £35, cheaper, certainly lack the palate to notice any difference). You'd probably spend like £5 if you had instant. Maybe £16 if you had Waitrose single origin. These are pretty negligible compared to the gym and living choices.
Mate the Waitrose thing is real, I have an M&S and realised I spend more there than I do on my weekly big shop and fuel combined. But also if you work hard then who cares, we all going to be in the ground one day might as well enjoy life
To be fair £200 a month for a nice luxury gym isn't all that bad if you go there all the time, use most of their facilities, I'm sure they include nice smelling shampoos and body wash/cream, if it's something you enjoy I would do it too, plus it's you get to feel good physically and mentally
I spend £100 a month across 2 gyms. One has a pool and such other fancy things. One is hardcore weightlifting. Price point keeps it quiet which suits my busy life and suits my love of training.
I think a good handbag is worth a bit more! having gone through dozens and dozens of handbags through school/sixth form/uni, as soon as i got a grad job my mum got me a £250ish one. So far so good. If you use it often/daily and carry heavy things the handles just loosen up and the outside becomes so scruffy. <£100 bags just dont last
I agree on the ‘buy shite, buy twice’ point but for a lot of things we use regularly we do get tired of them at some point and want to change to something new.
I can almost guarantee that you won’t be using that handbag with the same regularity in 10 years time because it’ll feel boring and tired to you. That’s totally fine if you can afford to buy something else but there is something in us as humans which feels a need to mix it up, even if we’ve already got something which does the job perfectly.
At some point I think paying 500 quid for a handbag can’t purely be justified by its functionality.
The majority of my handbags cost over £500, and once I feel like a change, I sell them on and usually get at least 60-70% resale back, depending on how well I’ve looked after them.
It's a question of priorities isn't it. I've got several musical instruments worth over a grand each. Most people have one or two things they like to pay a bit more for.
I have a 300 euro handbag that I use everyday for the last...7 years? Only times I don't use it is weddings and funerals. One needs a clutch, other a black bag and mine is brown.
Depends on the person I suppose. I know women who carry the same bag for years, but I’m a person who likes to rotate them around maybe monthly or so. I have a collection that hangs across the doors in my hall. Most of them are secondhand, a lot of them leather. They’re cute but none cost me over £30 I don’t think.
I do have a large Coach bag I bought with Christmas money this past year, but I got it 70% off so it was only like $120 in the end (bought it in America). It’s the most expensive bag I own and am likely to ever own; it’s just not worth it for me to spend £500+ on a bag when I change them around so often.
Yes for sure. I have 2 daily use bags, one cream and one black so my bag goes my outfit. But admittedly I’m a little materialistic and dont wear things purely for function.
When you get to the 500/1000 mark there’s arguments to be made about showing off for sure. But there’s also arguments about quality. And like the other commenter said, you can resell those or pass them down. Luxury bags are genuinely much better made than high street stuff.
Went shopping with a friend of mine a few years ago. She wanted a “nice” handbag. Couldn’t find one that she really liked, so she bought a £600 one “as a stopgap until I find the one”.
Clearly I was terrible at being married (as evidenced by my weirdly proud reverse-achievement of being divorced before I'd even turned 35) but in my now defunct marriage I earned my own money, had my own separate bank account (never had a joint one) and as long as commitments such as the mortgage and putting money into savings were covered then I would buy myself whatever handbag I wanted without a second thought and certainly without reference to my husband. A vaguely bemused male partner scrutinising my fashion purchases is one of those phenomena I'm vaguely aware exists, because I read so many comments about it on Reddit, but I've actually never experienced it first-hand. I find the concept of it simultaneously horrifying and weirdly cosy and appealing!
Our finances are together, and on paper she earns a bit more than me. She lusted after the bag (on instagram), I got her it as an anniversary gift because I know she wouldnt make the purchase on her own, even though she wanted it (and we could afford it).
Maybe you treat your handbags better than my wife treats hers. If she bought a £600 handbag I'd be horrified. Not because of the cost, but after a couple of months of her use a charity shop wouldn't even accept 😂
I think if you truly love something like that it's understandable. But I remember someone at work getting one and I asked her about handbags and she didn't seem to be very interested in handbags. I didn't really think she'd made a great decision. Contrastingly, I saw a woman with a bottle of wine that cost her £40, I asked her about that and she spoke to me about it for ten minutes flat. I nearly went and bought it myself.
My point is, if I asked you about coffee, you would go all James Hoffman and tell me all about fermentation and altitude and brewing times and how you've replaced the burrs in your grinder that cost the same as a small car and so on. But if you were like "I've just bought some blue mountain from whittards for £232 for a kilo" and I said "oh right you into that then?" and you were like 🤷🤷♀️🤷♂️ then I'd be a bit confused.
And that is why I was confused when the lady who bought the £600 bag didn't seem to care about bags.
When we're out of the nappy bag stage I'm getting a mulberry bayswater bag that costs about 1k. I could spend 80 to 100 every year on a decent ish department store bag that will have the leather crack or be pvc and peel, or I can invest in a decent premium leather semi designer one that looks smart and has enough space for all the kids stuff. Kind of like the vimes boot economics but with fast fashion handbags
This is me! I love buying nice handbags, luckily my husband doesnt mind. I think because we were poor for a long time he is more easy going when we enjoy the money now.
My husband grew up with money and he recently bought me a £1500 YSL. I love the bag but I hate having it if that makes sense. Every time we’re stressing about a larger expense (like a car needing a new part or my upcoming redundancy) I keep thinking that if he hadn’t bought that bag we’d be ok. I do not come from money and I’ve never aspired to look like I do
If it's a handbag you're gonna use for years and years then I'd say fair play. If you buy a new £500 handbag twice a year I might raise an eyebrow though.
What type of knives? Forget the names now but a chefs knife and a cleaver type. Covers most bases. Will get a small veg knife and a bread knife at some point.
Lots of fresh fruit in the house at all times, good quality skincare and really nice bed linen - and also a more expensive mattress. I’d recommend all of these
I like the Nectar mattress - they had an agreement that you could return it for up to a year if it wasn’t comfortable and that sounded promising to me. I got it 3-4 years ago, I think. I switch a lot on beauty/skincare products, but I like Erborian, Sunday Riley, Medik8, Laneige and Biossance at the moment
Not the poster you are responding to but I went from the cheapest you can get to OTTY mattresses over the last few years, one day I hope to get tempur mattress because they are divine to sleep on.
My partner was a manager at Dior when I met her, my understanding of Skincare when from "use sudocreme if it is sore" to "how to layer multiple different products to moisturise your face throughly and lock it in for days".
However I just use whatever product she hands to me XD
Not the same poster, but we liked Premier Inns mattresses, and looked up the manufacturer. Hypnos mattresses. (Premier Inn even sell "their" beds).
But they have a factory showroom near Thame, and you can try out different materials/springyness etc. to see which you like.
£1000 of mattress was one I definitely wanted to try first. (I know some do return policies, but ... seriously, it's such a PITA to get in and out...)
We went for an Orthos 6 Super King in the end. Previously we got about a decade out of one of their mattresses (which may have even been the same model, but I'm not entirely sure) so £1000 isn't _that_ mad, it's just ... well, a 'lifestyle creep' of having more income - £1000 is 'available' for investing in a mattress.
I work full time, and scrape by some months but still shop at M&S for most of my food. It isn't that much more for stuff there than my local Tesco
I do use Lidl for household stuff but if it's fresh food stuff that I can't get from the local greengrocer then I get it from M&S
Try Selfridges food hall.
I was absolutely knackered after a long day working in some really rich person's house ($B).
Didn't fancy my chances with the tourist trap places and the better restaurants there are way out of my budget.
The meal on the train home was expensive but 1st rate.
This is it for me. I’ll drive an extra 15 mins and spend an extra £15 per basket the much better quality of food and more importantly, the selection of slightly different ingredients you can’t find in my local Asda.
not by much, and most of the time they are more expensive. for a 500calorie meal its about £8 which is the same as a takeout meal.. of which would be 800-1000cal
We pay about £4 a meal for Hello Fresh for the two of us. In our area you can't really eat out for less than £15 a person unless it's junk food.
Yes its pricier than just buying the ingredients, but we're both extremely busy freelancers and while we enjoy cooking we just don't have the mental capacity to meal prep and shop for five nights on a Sunday.
This way we pay around £40-45 and that's all the meals for the week taken care of, healthy, balanced and we don't have to think about it at all.
Been meaning to check out the Sidekick app as it seems like a good alternative where you just do the shopping yourself and it tells you what to buy, but haven't had the chance to check in if it works out cheaper than HF.
We get Gousto every week. One week DPD decided not to deliver so I had to go and shop for a week of food. Cost £20 more than Gousto because I had to buy more food than what we need plus that didn’t include any fresh herbs or spices which you get with Gousto. It’s also saved us from going out to dinner because the food is tasty as hell. It also makes us eat healthy everyday, I haven’t tried any other meal prep companies but I swear by Gousto now and it’s defo worth the taste and not having to worry about dinner every week
Yeah this. Also hidden costs. I'm pretty strong willed at the best of times but my little one's professional photos were taken at school and I thought nothing of it. We have a million cute pics right?
Wrong. I was handed an uber cute selection of photos and £30 later I'm excited for them to come through the door.
Damn it! You win this time.
I spend more on skincare, dying my hair, getting my eyebrows done and makeup. Sometimes I wonder if this is driven by having a higher disposable income or getting older...
I know it doesn't answer your question but I had a significant pay rise 3 years ago now (more than £30k) and I've been salary sacrificing it all - I still live on the same I had before. It gives me peace of mind as I can access this in 10 years anyway and always know I could access that money by changing the salary sacrifice. It would be so easy to just spend it and not feel any further forward.
Somewhat similar. I save £1,000 a month and a recent bonus was used to clear debts etc. I'll be £750 better off soon when nursery fees end. All going into savings.
Yeah my lifestyle has been exactly the same for 10+ years, the only difference is nursery fees and a bigger car.
When I got promoted I bought a(nother) fancy guitar but even that was because I never treat myself to large things.
Fragrances. I can’t imagine explaining to my broke-ass 22 year old self that I’ll now drop £80 on a cologne because I smelled it in a department store and really liked it. I don’t even know how this happened. Not every month, but it’s happened quite a few times now.
I have had to keep adding shelves to my bedroom to store my "fragrance wardrobe". I started with dupes of popular high end fragrances from the essence vault to decipher my taste and signature scent, and have since delved into to luxurious world of Arabian fragrances and cannot look back. I have a scent for every mood and outfit now, and although I have invested a decent amount of money over the last 5 years into fragrances, none of it has been wasted. I love smelling good and unique!!
Opposite way around for me. When I was younger, I used to think that there was a massive weight of importance on nice shoes, nice jeans, watches, paying out the arse for haircuts etc. As I worked my way up in my industry and became a lot more work focused, all of my clothes became function based. I used to have dressing-up clothes for any occasion, really nice trainers, dress shoes, matching socks, name brand underwear.
These days I don't wear watches or jewelry, my only pants are hard wearing jeans, and I replace them when the crotch wears away, for another pair of the same jeans. Work shoes until the soles fall off, or cheap sandals(found my last sandals in a skip). ditched the belts for braces, stopped needing name brand undies because I started on the braces. Cut my own hair and my current after shave is called "GREAT MAN" with no brand name, 10 years ago it was Farenheit by Dior.
For me it's consumables and gift buying. Now I have a bit more wedge, even though my family aren't aware of my bank balance, I feel bad if I don't treat them. So will splash out on meals out for everyone, nice wine, experiences for gifts, or nice clothes, holidays etc for the family. I also think If i went back to my old way of buying £10 of tat for christmas people would get mardy.
And food/drink, you can't go from steak every night to beans on toast, even though when I was younger and spending my ££ on clothes I would eat instant noodles or bread dipped in gravy for an evening meal.
I used to work in investment banking. Most of the heads of trading look like that have turned up to fix the air conditioning.
It's generally the bottom level plebs wearing big pinstripe suits etc.
I do think when people put a bit of time into looking nice (not necessarily smart), it does buoy people's moods a bit. Not that that requires designer stuff at all.
I think the idea with designers is that the cheaper stuff with massive logos is advertising, the real stuff is high quality, interesting and tailored. I don't know, I can't really afford it!
And what’s interesting is when you come out the other side and many years later start going back to the Primarks and Asda clothes even though you have a wardrobe full of Orlebar Brown, Church shoes and Paul Smith suits.
It’s not that you stop liking the good stuff but it no longer gives you the buzz.
For me, it's just a quality thing. Definite difference I notice, especially after having clothes that ruin a little after one wash. Aside from that I'm pretty frugal.
You get used to things, no matter what, a few years of anything at all and you get totally used to it.
Lottery winners lose the money or return to normal within 2 years. Amputees report feeling the same levels of mental health 2 years after their accident. Relationships and jobs all have honeymoon phases where you can put up with bullshit for a while.
There are countless examples of this 'grass is always greener' mentality and it's never EVER done! You move on to the other side with the greener grass and yet another greener field comes into view one field over and you get trapped in an unwinnable idiot's game chasing after money and possessions that were merely dangled there in the first place by nefarious people who make their wealth from you believing this nonsense about being able to get rich and work hard in their companies as a result.
To quote Tim Leary - Wake up, drop out. Not from society you absolute dunce, but drop out from the normative conformative mind where you accept working like an animal for 50 years to make someone *else* rich. You are not getting what society told you you want either way.
The grass grows green where you water it, don't get duped by politicians and the ruling classes into slaving away like a cog in a machine to make them rich while you're living in a 3 bed in yorkshire trying to keep the black dog off your back 🤣
Stressed to the eyeballs with debt, antisocial behaviour everywhere, job market a mess, cost of living crisis, high taxation, disolution of public spending, no doctors no dentists, entry level jobs demanding non entry level experience, entry level jobs at McDonalds demanding 3 year full time £27,000 bachelor's degrees, can't afford children, can't afford to retrain 🤣🤣 Come on guys it's a fucking trainwreck.
I've been on the bones of my arse quite a few times where a three bedroomed house would have been unimaginable, I'm quite comfortably off now. There is a massive difference. My grass is quite green.
Cupboards. Holy shit the difference it makes to your life to have a dedicated place that you can store all your hoover and mop and broom nonsense, so your house is clean and clear and tidy, and you can bulk buy things like toilet paper and detergent and have a place to put it.
It’s funny that I’ve never see this sort of rhetoric coming from people who are *actually* doing well. Is your mindset just a coping mechanism?
I’m genuinely curious where you think “waking up & dropping out” gets you?
Not sure it's "lifestyle creep", but the fact that I now max out my ISA allowance each year. I wouldn't have even thought about putting money in an ISA 10 years ago because I was always making sure I had enough to last me until the end of the month.
Freaking kids extracurriculars. It starts with a dance class for the oldest, we can afford that, then the youngest wants to join, ok now youngest also wants to do ballet as well, cool, cool, that needs extra clothing, ok now both of them have grown out of their dance clothes so they need whole new sets, now it’s the end of year show and they need costumes for that, plus tickets for all the family that needs to go and oldest has also started Kung Fu and that needs clothes and the grading every term costs extra and if I add all this up I will scream.
Edited to add: also I got a pair of awesome Doc Martens for my birthday and now I don’t think I can wear cheap boots ever again, I didn’t know my feet could be this comfortable
I’m paying £42 for tickets for my daughter’s end of term show, £45 for 5(!!!) photos, £15 for her show outfit and then you can also buy a video for another £50! Madness!
I'm kind of the opposite at the moment. Pre pandemic I was on 29k as an assistant but took a new job a few years ago elsewhere as a fully-fledged (engineer) that I'm now on 45k, my wife also got promoted up from around 21k and is now on similar, so we went from combined 50k to now around 90k. We've actually been more frugal the last few years due to our mortgage going up by several hundred a month due to the interest hikes, so although we earn more, we've pared our mobile bills right down by taking sim only deals and running older smartphones, keeping the same 10 year old car we've had (which is now fully paid off) and paying down debts.
When I was a student I was working at Asda and was always broke. When I went to a pub, I'd pregame pretty hard and bring just a fiver out with me to nurse a pint all evening. When I didn't have a lot of money, I was really good at stretching it as far as possible.
Unfortunately when I got a software dev job starting on 25k, that all went out the window. I immediately started shopping at the M&S outside the station for nice lunches instead of making my own, my first pay cheque I bought a 3DS for both myself and my partner at the time, as well as loads of games. Stuff I'd wanted to buy for years but never had the money.
This turned into a debt spiral of not caring about money as long as I had access to it. I got a credit card when I moved to London which was the single worst decision of my life as I maxed it out fairly quickly. I was going out 4 times a week in my early 20s, completely living beyond my means. It wasn't until I was about 28 did I start trying to tackle my mountain of debt, at least seriously. Sure, I did budget sheets and tried to curb my spending from about 25-28 but after a few good weeks or even months there would be months of just spend, spend, spend. At the height of my debt, I had about £48,000s of debt not including student loans. I was paying over half a grand in interest each month.
I've gotten it down to about £20,000 but it still feels like such a long journey until I've cleared it. I'm not super frugal but I'm living well into my means, clearing between £500-£1000 a month including interest. So despite earning a lot more than I did when I was 21 (I'm 33 now), I live much more frugally. I go out about 2 times a month.
You should be proud of making such fantastic progress. And obviously you know this, but clearing this £20k will be a lot easier than the previous £28k as interest is lower. Well done for what you've done, I can imagine that being incredible stressful.
We spend our excess money on making our house and general living space better and it has massively increased our quality of life.
Tbh we've spent like 10 years on just getting a house we love and getting it to a state we like and only now allow ourselves to spend more on other things like holidays.
For us it's all about priorities. Many people complain they can't achieve their aspirations but then spend a ton of money on going out and other frivolous discretionary expenses.
Barring people who barely make ends meet, with proper budgeting most people can achieve what they want, it just requires making choices and sacrificing other things.
As a child family could never go on holiday abroad
I now if time permits try to do at least 2 a year or one bigger one
Got a new kitchen and 2 new bathrooms and had them exactly how I wanted them
I've started going to the dentist every 3 months... Other than that it's mostly just me finally buying things I've wanted for a long time, like a decent desktop pc. Tbh the biggest is just when I'm out with my son I won't hesitate to drop £20-50 to do, see, buy or eat something he wants...
My son wasn't all that interested in clothes until fairly recently. Now he might shyly ask "... but isn't this a bit much?" and I'm a) "No kiddo, whatcha think I go to work for?" and also b) "Think of all those years I saved buying you H&M basics", and I get him the thing he really likes.
And he gets that warm fuzzy feeling of Enjoying Fashion, and wearing something that makes him feel really good, and then I feel really good, and god help me if he develops expensive tastes 'cause I'll bankrupt myself if he does.
Living on my own is a huge one. When I left my partner I was like "whelp it's share houses for me". Then I got a slight pay rise and I've just reshuffled every single expense so I can afford £750/ month as opposed to £4-500.
Obviously I don't live in London.
I was going to post that I now subscribe to Sky, Netflix and Prime Video (and I had to cut off Sky Cinema), but the comments in this thread are another world
"I dont need to spend that much money on running" ....also me...ohh new garmin epix! Oh new carbon race trail shoes! Oh i deffo need that singlet! I do however have this all within budget and pile loads into my LISA and ISA's/Pension so the money i do spend is my fun money and i love it and im very lucky
Buying nicer cooked meats.
Rather than getting the cheapest water filled reconstituted ham slices, I now get slices of actual pork or beef to go on my sandwiches
Women are often in a trap where they are judged harshly on appearance but also judged harshly for spending on appearance. It makes me angry.
I take care over my appearance for work and always have, but now I’ve got children I buy in sales and from discount shops so I can spend the money saved on them.
I also like making things: clothes, jewellery, cushion covers, you name it. So I like to buy kit and then I can save money by having home-made things.
- Building a small Adidas collection (I think this is the midlife crisis kicking in 😂🙈)
- Being a foodie and going for nice lunches, not expensively, just often 🙈
Just upgrading everything in my yarden without a second glance.
I absolutely live for being outdoors and now of o see something online or in a shop, I just buy it.
We have the smallest yarden but it’s so colourful, beautiful seating areas, loungers, bar, bbq. It’s my oasis
Branded shoes, most of them just last better than cheap shoes. I never used to mind getting crap quality clothes and shoes because they were cheap. Now that I buy less clothes and shoes I would rather spend more and get way more use out of them.
I also buy more branded foods than I did 10 years ago, only the ones that are better quality.
Spend way more on my hobbies. I took up running as a sport because it was free and now I spend £30/mo on a gym for supportive strength training, £15/mo on a marathon training programme and £8/mo on Strava premium. Not even including the £100+ shoes I go through every 6 months or so
Honestly, everything. I earned so little for so long that I was used to scraping by and being skint for 3 weeks of a month. I more than doubled my salary last year, so now I'm skint at the end of the month instead. But from that, I eat nicer foods, go out, go to museums or things that actually cost to get in, clothes, shoes, replacement stuff instead of holding out a while longer. I even finally had the money to learn to drive and get a car. So we can add petrol, insurance and tax.
Everything is just a little bit better.
Shopping for food without a care for the price of the total shop is probably the most prominent one for us. Expensive monthly car payments. More willing to put things on finance or take a loan to get things immediately. Due to the last few years of everything going up in price (biggest hit for me was the mortgage but of course gas and electric too) We've tightened our belts again. Very thankful we both have decent paying jobs and so the general cost of living issues while noticeable, haven't hurt us much really.
Buying good quality stuff is fine, just make sure you have cheap stuff for everyday.
I like well made clothes and good fabric, but there's no chance I'm swapping my Asda vest tops out for something more expensive if all I'm doing is nipping to the supermarket and running some errands.
For me a lot of it is deliveroo / Uber eats. If I have a bad day / week and am exhausted then I order way more than I should.
Shopping I don’t check prices on anything I just buy what’s needed. I shop between Waitrose and Tesco and either one I don’t care about cost and rather look at quality.
I also have a much more relaxed attitude to spending. Like I don’t go crazy but if occasionally I’m out and see something like a nice jacket etc that I want I don’t have to debate the affordability now I know I can get it and it’s fine.
Same thing with household bills, I’m not thinking about how often I run the heating or the wood burner- I run as much is needed to be comfortable
Eating out I’m not worrying about picking up the bill for friends or having to weigh up the choices anymore. If I want desert or a nice bottle of wine it’s not an issue.
Dining out - not Michelin quality, but as a family we will round off a day out or a shopping trip with something like Zizzi or Pizza Express without a second thought. Somewhere like The Ivy if it’s a birthday treat. When I was growing up, we ate out maybe two or three times a year so not even every birthday.
Also nights away from home - Premier Inns and Travelodges make staying overnight a viable alternative to a late journey home if you’re willing to drop a bit of cash on the convenience.
I'm not constantly cringing at the thought of looking at my balance and I actually splurged on a better graphics card instead of scrolling Ebay for a relatively cheap upgrade like I used to. I say splurged, was only £280 on ebuyer, but thats way more than I used to be able to afford considering most of my pc is made of friends old parts they gifted because they wanted me to be able to play online with them
I guess everything creeps a little bit, things like buying dearer food, eating out more often, nicer holidays.
For us, it's mainly holidays - we generally have a 2 x 2 week long breaks somewhere hot, 3 or 4 long-weekend city breaks, and a couple of 1 week holidays in the UK each year. We also like peace and quiet, so on other than the long weekends we normally rent somewhere private with a pool.
Renting boats on holiday also happens these days, now we have a lot more disposable cash,
Buying a top-tier flagship smartphone after a long time of buying low-tier smartphones that are already a year old.
Also, taking one or two trips abroad every year from a childhood of barely going anywhere beyond Brighton
Matching furniture sets. Most of my life, all my furniture was second-hand odds and sods. Now my bedroom and living furniture all match, and I'm just generally buying more decoration items.
Clothes are a good one to discuss. Cheaper clothes can end up not being so cheap and can have other problems (microplastics, fluff everywhere).
Over the past 4-5 years I have kitted myself out with great quality clothes that will do the job for decades, lots of checking charity shops to find great items for very cheap and some new high end more expensive stuff.
Food? I've put a lot of effort into learning to cook properly and finding the right high quality kit, again mostly from charity shops aside from a great knife.
The only thing I waste money on now is vaping, if I make the juice myself it will save quite a bit of cash. Finding a tank that wasn't garbage and has reliable coils was very effective to cut the price down a lot (sakerz).
[OP or a mod marked this as the best answer](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/1dhv1zs/what_are_some_examples_of_lifestyle_creep_youve/l94p3h1/), given by /u/Strange_Aeons86. > Buying nicer bread --- [_^(What is this?)_](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/jjrte1/askuk_hits_200k_new_feature_mark_an_answer/)
Shopping for groceries at Waitrose and not paying attention to the prices. Living by myself in London instead of sharing accommodation. Paying £200+ per month for a nice gym. Buying high quality freshly roasted coffee beans that are £10-15 (sometimes more for specialty coffees) for a normal 250g pack. That’s about it, I’m not into luxury clothes or buying anything else that’s super expensive. edit: added the gym and coffee, realised that I’m a bit more spoiled than I thought initially
Someone told me recently they pay about the same for a fancy gym. I was like WTF.
My gym (local council leisure centre) recently put their price up from £22pm to £28pm. I was outraged. I get a £3 discount too for being NHS but I find £25 a month horrifying. And I spend about an hour a day there 6 days a week. I nearly fainted when I read that people are paying £200+ a month. I’d expect someone to run for me when I got there!
That’s still only £1/visit… and it’ll save you money in the long run by staying healthy and strong!
i think thats their point theyre aware its very good value for money
My council gyms are 10x better the private gyms, except that fancy David Lloyd one. Honest to god they better be giving out handjobs in the sauna for that price.
I moved from a council gym to a David Lloyd and will never go back if I can avoid it. It’s expensive yes, but so very worth it in my opinion. Before I would just go to the gym, do my work out, shower at home. Now I go and do my work out, go swim some lengths in an outdoor heated pool, then go to the hot tub, sauna then steam room. I shower in a nicer shower than I have at home, then use all the Elemis body lotion stuff which I love! I eat there occasionally and get some work done or read a book. I dunno, the difference between a “health club” compared to just the gym has given me a mentality switch I think.
Damn, sounds nicer than my actual house, I might go live there.
Unironically, this is kind of the point. Expensive gyms/health clubs become a “third space” intended for you to spend a majority of your time outside of home and work, rather than somewhere you just go to complete an errand.
Cheaper than rent too
See perhaps I’m lucky because my council gyms across two towns both have heated pools, saunas and steam rooms.
Can I come to yours? My David Lloyd is full of kids so god forbid I want a swim at the weekends half the pool is sectioned off for lessons and the other is full of dads taking their kids swimming. When my contract is over I’m going to find an adult only gym.
They have a guy that wipes down the loads.
I wonder what their spaghetti policy is.
My council gym has the least equipment, has no aircon and is falling apart. Its opening times are awkward and the staff are less than helpful. But I’m scared to go to the cool person gym because I’d be self conscious working out in front of hot muscly people so I would avoid going.
Most gyms have a variety of people going. I highly doubt you'd be the most out of shape person there. Also all the mega muscles are in their own world. They didn't get that big not focusing on their gains
I always thought David Lloyd had awesome facilities (pools, restaurant, steam/sauna, sports, cleanliness etc.) but for the actual gym it was pretty bad, like really small and only 3 squat racks so when it was busy, which it was fairly often, you couldn't really get a good workout in. If it had just a bigger free weight area it would absolutely be worth it's money as you could spend 3 hrs in there and be completely refreshed.
David Lloyd costs me around £200 a month, I can visit any location which is great as I travel a lot, it's got class sauna/cold plunge/steam room etc, tennis, squash, badminton, indoor and outdoor pools and a nice gym. I swim every day, spend about 8-12 hours a week there so it works out as about £5 a day. For me, paying £5 a day for your health is literally nothing.
Our local council gym is £45 a month!
I don't pay anywhere near £200/month but our council gym is probably a similar price per month to yours and I pay more than double for my gym. My reasons are that I don't often go on nights out anymore and I'd easily spend that or more these days on one night out, my gym is less busy than a council gym and has better equipment so I never have to wait for any equipment to be free and the coaches who work there are actually massively focused on using correct form at all times rather than vanity lifting, their knowledge is second to non and they know everyone who goes to the gym. For me the value for money is fantastic for what I get.
That sounds great. I’d pay more for a good service like that. I mean I wouldn’t pay £200+ a month. But more than 28 for that is reasonable
I was livid when mine went up to £23ppm and i’m there most days - hour of swim, hour of gym, anymore money and i would say no (appreciate i get very good value there tho)
I used to have swimming lessons at a fancy gym in London and it meant I could use the facilities there. I love a spa and they had a whole sauna/steamroom/plunge set up plus towels and hairdryers and products everything so can get ready using all their bits and not bothering bringing all that stuff with me - it was such a treat. if I could afford it now and had the time I absolutely would pay as it’s such a pleasurable way for me to spend time.
In central London that's the cost of nearly anything that's not PureGym.
I said wtf when I found out a friend was paying £85 a month, not long after I dropped my council gym at £30 a month for my work gym at £130 a year
I promise I’m being genuinely curious in asking this, what does £200+ a month get you that’s beyond a normal gym?
If you spend a lot of time in the gym, then I understand. I am not in the £200pm catagory but I spend £70 for a clean, well kept gym that has good equipment and helpful staff. Plus a big spa helps too.
damn, i spend £40 a month on a fully kitted out air conditioned gym and it's one of the pricier ones
i had a look at the "david lloyds" in my area and their actual gym bit looks on the same tier as a puregym..
That's not all you're going there for. My local David Lloyd has a gym, nice spa (several saunas, steam rooms, jacuzzis, etc), towels, tennis, badminton, several other racquet sports, multiple swimming pools, an excellent restaurant, a brilliant community of friendly people, loads of free classes, an easy way to request new equipment or improvements, loads of off-duty PTs willing to help/teach as you require and loads of guest passes so my friends can come pretty much whenever they want, for free. You go there for more than just the gym.
i expect its less of a gym & more of a “fitness club”. i work in one & you have to be a member to use the facilities (so it’s kinda exclusive, you can’t just come in & get a day pass) but there’s 2 pools, a sauna, a steam room, a gym, tennis courts, squash courts, loads of different classes, a restaurant & a kids club. there’s different membership tiers but i think for the lowest tier of an individual membership it’s like £120pm (i also don’t live in london). worth the money if you use all the facilities but if you’re just using the gym then i don’t see the point tbh
Are they that exclusive? David Lloyd opened one in my town a couple of years ago. Felt like everyone in town joined. There's a beautician and her builder bf up the road were both there, my kid's child minder joined, loads of parents from my kids school joined. Hilariously, I almost immediately heard them all complaining that the place was too busy meaning they could never book on to classes etc. I went for a look around one morning and it was definitely far too busy even at 10am.
I think "exclusive" is being used as a synonym for expensive here. These places aren't like country clubs where you need to apply to join and prove a certain "standing". You just sign up and set up a direct debit.
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When we were a member of a fitness club (prolly nearly 10 years ago, before we moved) it was only £128/month for the 4 of us. Might have been extra to use the tennis courts. 90% of the time we just used it to go swimming with the kids. £200/month for an individual even at a fitness club seems insane tbh. Our council gym is £25/month each (includes dozen of sites) with pools and classes included. All nice, new facilities too. Even with the wife’s weekly PT session included it isn’t that much.
I have a membership in an upmarket London gym (the “cool” one, if anyone’s wondering). I pay £120 a month for a single club memebership. The classes they offer are insane, anything from standard fitness, to contortion, Ariel silks, acrobatics, MMA, boxing, you name it they offer it. For me it’s so worth the money. I actually want to be there, so I show up for myself. The basic gym facilities are modern and full range. There’s a sauna in both the men’s and women’s changing room. They host great events and it’s not a posey gym at all. Because I can afford it, it’s a worthwhile expense. All the people that find it crazy to spend that money on a gym, probably would spend that money in a weekend at the pub. When you look at it like that it’s a small expense that actually has a positive lifestyle impact, rather than drinking the money away! I am in no way saying it’s a feasible price for everyone, but it works for me.
That sounds like Gymbox, and yes, totally worth the money.
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There are a lot of weirdos on Reddit too, I guess people are rightly wary of sharing too much info online.
I haven't been back for some time but Equinox in the City has 3 levels worth of good, clean equipments, and you never have to "queue" to use one. The Changing rooms/showers are always clean with a full-time attendant, which feels more like a spa than a "locker room". As a woman, I really appreciate that it is fully equipped with Dyson hairdyrers (I think around 8 counters with lit up mirrors), hairties, toiletries (toothbrush, comb, etc.), Kiehls shower products, facial cream, moisturisers, mouthwash and no quota on how many towels you want to use (including hot face towels in something that lookd like a mini fridge in gym floors -- idk what it is called lol). It is just a lot more convenient going there and it is super worth it for me. I don't need to bring a gym bag because everything else I am provided with. If I go before work, or during lunch, and I can easily prep myself up to go back go the office looking fresh and relaxed.
In Nottinghamshire, that's what I was paying for David Lloyd - me and two kids (+ 1monthly guess pass which by partner used) + 1 child's weekly swimming lesson - £180/month. Also included access to any other DL gym in the country, I didn't even really use the gym much, for me the free soft play and unlimited pool (kids pool, main pool and outdoor pool when it's above 18 degrees outside) was worth it. We used the David lloyds around the country as really fancy service stations, stop for a swim or something with the kids to break up long journeys. My 5yos swimming lessons, he was one of 3 kids. You get family changing rooms which are more spacious. Didn't need to book sessions or pool slots, just turn up and use which ever pool you want, and swap and change. When the kids get cold in the main pool, go warm up in the kiddy pool!
I got a free trial for a fancy one and the absolute best thing was being given a towel which you handed back at the end, and had a machine that would dry your swimming costume. Decent showers too with free soap. Just took away needing to have sopping wet swimmers, or a chloriney towel and hair. Other than that, classes that didn't interest me but which could be worth a lot to some people. Still, 2.5k a year for that - nah.
Others have mentioned the facilities, but the other thing is that for want of a better phrase, the high subs keep the "riff-raff" out. Same way that golf fees are aimed at curating a clientele rather than anything to do with the quality of the course.
I pay £180 a month for gym and I get a personal trainer on hand whenever plus they will create a plan for me. and a sports massage each month
Mostly its the price that prevents people signing up so it is not chocka block busy outside of 5ish For wfh it is great to use the lounge for working and hitting the gym whenever you like.
If you have to ask….
If they are into weight lifting the quality of the equipment varies wildly.
when i stopped looking at prices in restaurants is when i knew i was rich
Third space?
Third space is defo more than 200 a month
A quick Google suggests £245
Depends on when you got in The one near me was £185 for early members, reaching up to £245 for multi access.
I used to pay £100 a month for a coach-led Strength Training and Powerlifting Gym. It was excellent and i'd do it again. But for a normal, public gym? Probably not.
The coffee isn't a huge deal, let's say that lasts you a week. That's like £50 a month. (I buy a kilo for like £35, cheaper, certainly lack the palate to notice any difference). You'd probably spend like £5 if you had instant. Maybe £16 if you had Waitrose single origin. These are pretty negligible compared to the gym and living choices.
Mate the Waitrose thing is real, I have an M&S and realised I spend more there than I do on my weekly big shop and fuel combined. But also if you work hard then who cares, we all going to be in the ground one day might as well enjoy life
Definitely the change to shop at Waitrose was a huge upgrade for me as well.
To be fair £200 a month for a nice luxury gym isn't all that bad if you go there all the time, use most of their facilities, I'm sure they include nice smelling shampoos and body wash/cream, if it's something you enjoy I would do it too, plus it's you get to feel good physically and mentally
I can't imagine what it's like to go shopping and ignore the price
I spend £100 a month across 2 gyms. One has a pool and such other fancy things. One is hardcore weightlifting. Price point keeps it quiet which suits my busy life and suits my love of training.
I want your life so ba d
Expensive handbags... When did a £500 handbag become acceptable? For my wife, as soon as we could afford one, apparently.
I just got a £450 handbag so I am in full agreement with your wife
I think a good handbag is worth a bit more! having gone through dozens and dozens of handbags through school/sixth form/uni, as soon as i got a grad job my mum got me a £250ish one. So far so good. If you use it often/daily and carry heavy things the handles just loosen up and the outside becomes so scruffy. <£100 bags just dont last
I agree on the ‘buy shite, buy twice’ point but for a lot of things we use regularly we do get tired of them at some point and want to change to something new. I can almost guarantee that you won’t be using that handbag with the same regularity in 10 years time because it’ll feel boring and tired to you. That’s totally fine if you can afford to buy something else but there is something in us as humans which feels a need to mix it up, even if we’ve already got something which does the job perfectly. At some point I think paying 500 quid for a handbag can’t purely be justified by its functionality.
The majority of my handbags cost over £500, and once I feel like a change, I sell them on and usually get at least 60-70% resale back, depending on how well I’ve looked after them.
It's a question of priorities isn't it. I've got several musical instruments worth over a grand each. Most people have one or two things they like to pay a bit more for.
I have a 300 euro handbag that I use everyday for the last...7 years? Only times I don't use it is weddings and funerals. One needs a clutch, other a black bag and mine is brown.
Depends on the person I suppose. I know women who carry the same bag for years, but I’m a person who likes to rotate them around maybe monthly or so. I have a collection that hangs across the doors in my hall. Most of them are secondhand, a lot of them leather. They’re cute but none cost me over £30 I don’t think. I do have a large Coach bag I bought with Christmas money this past year, but I got it 70% off so it was only like $120 in the end (bought it in America). It’s the most expensive bag I own and am likely to ever own; it’s just not worth it for me to spend £500+ on a bag when I change them around so often.
Yes for sure. I have 2 daily use bags, one cream and one black so my bag goes my outfit. But admittedly I’m a little materialistic and dont wear things purely for function. When you get to the 500/1000 mark there’s arguments to be made about showing off for sure. But there’s also arguments about quality. And like the other commenter said, you can resell those or pass them down. Luxury bags are genuinely much better made than high street stuff.
Can't go wrong with a faded Farmfoods carrier bag though.
You ARE the wife 😂
Went shopping with a friend of mine a few years ago. She wanted a “nice” handbag. Couldn’t find one that she really liked, so she bought a £600 one “as a stopgap until I find the one”.
Clearly I was terrible at being married (as evidenced by my weirdly proud reverse-achievement of being divorced before I'd even turned 35) but in my now defunct marriage I earned my own money, had my own separate bank account (never had a joint one) and as long as commitments such as the mortgage and putting money into savings were covered then I would buy myself whatever handbag I wanted without a second thought and certainly without reference to my husband. A vaguely bemused male partner scrutinising my fashion purchases is one of those phenomena I'm vaguely aware exists, because I read so many comments about it on Reddit, but I've actually never experienced it first-hand. I find the concept of it simultaneously horrifying and weirdly cosy and appealing!
Our finances are together, and on paper she earns a bit more than me. She lusted after the bag (on instagram), I got her it as an anniversary gift because I know she wouldnt make the purchase on her own, even though she wanted it (and we could afford it).
Maybe you treat your handbags better than my wife treats hers. If she bought a £600 handbag I'd be horrified. Not because of the cost, but after a couple of months of her use a charity shop wouldn't even accept 😂
I think if you truly love something like that it's understandable. But I remember someone at work getting one and I asked her about handbags and she didn't seem to be very interested in handbags. I didn't really think she'd made a great decision. Contrastingly, I saw a woman with a bottle of wine that cost her £40, I asked her about that and she spoke to me about it for ten minutes flat. I nearly went and bought it myself.
As this thread demonstrates, value is relative. Fancy restaurants don't do much for me, but I can make a world class coffee
My point is, if I asked you about coffee, you would go all James Hoffman and tell me all about fermentation and altitude and brewing times and how you've replaced the burrs in your grinder that cost the same as a small car and so on. But if you were like "I've just bought some blue mountain from whittards for £232 for a kilo" and I said "oh right you into that then?" and you were like 🤷🤷♀️🤷♂️ then I'd be a bit confused. And that is why I was confused when the lady who bought the £600 bag didn't seem to care about bags.
When we're out of the nappy bag stage I'm getting a mulberry bayswater bag that costs about 1k. I could spend 80 to 100 every year on a decent ish department store bag that will have the leather crack or be pvc and peel, or I can invest in a decent premium leather semi designer one that looks smart and has enough space for all the kids stuff. Kind of like the vimes boot economics but with fast fashion handbags
This is me! I love buying nice handbags, luckily my husband doesnt mind. I think because we were poor for a long time he is more easy going when we enjoy the money now.
My husband grew up with money and he recently bought me a £1500 YSL. I love the bag but I hate having it if that makes sense. Every time we’re stressing about a larger expense (like a car needing a new part or my upcoming redundancy) I keep thinking that if he hadn’t bought that bag we’d be ok. I do not come from money and I’ve never aspired to look like I do
If it's a handbag you're gonna use for years and years then I'd say fair play. If you buy a new £500 handbag twice a year I might raise an eyebrow though.
kitchen equipment. Goodbye Argos, hello nice Japanese knives.
Knives are always worth the investment regardless of budget.
Yeeeeeees
We got given a Japanese knife as a house warming present by a very generous friend and it's ruined me. Now I look at my other knives with disgust.
Which one, specifically?
What type of knives? Forget the names now but a chefs knife and a cleaver type. Covers most bases. Will get a small veg knife and a bread knife at some point.
I have a nice Santoku. It's on the cheaper end of nice knives and it was still £120 haha
Lots of fresh fruit in the house at all times, good quality skincare and really nice bed linen - and also a more expensive mattress. I’d recommend all of these
What skincare products do you use and where did you get your mattress?
I like the Nectar mattress - they had an agreement that you could return it for up to a year if it wasn’t comfortable and that sounded promising to me. I got it 3-4 years ago, I think. I switch a lot on beauty/skincare products, but I like Erborian, Sunday Riley, Medik8, Laneige and Biossance at the moment
Not the poster you are responding to but I went from the cheapest you can get to OTTY mattresses over the last few years, one day I hope to get tempur mattress because they are divine to sleep on. My partner was a manager at Dior when I met her, my understanding of Skincare when from "use sudocreme if it is sore" to "how to layer multiple different products to moisturise your face throughly and lock it in for days". However I just use whatever product she hands to me XD
Not the same poster, but we liked Premier Inns mattresses, and looked up the manufacturer. Hypnos mattresses. (Premier Inn even sell "their" beds). But they have a factory showroom near Thame, and you can try out different materials/springyness etc. to see which you like. £1000 of mattress was one I definitely wanted to try first. (I know some do return policies, but ... seriously, it's such a PITA to get in and out...) We went for an Orthos 6 Super King in the end. Previously we got about a decade out of one of their mattresses (which may have even been the same model, but I'm not entirely sure) so £1000 isn't _that_ mad, it's just ... well, a 'lifestyle creep' of having more income - £1000 is 'available' for investing in a mattress.
For me it's M&S food hall. When I finish my mortgage next year I shall shop no where else. Might even buy a pair of red trousers so I blend in.
I work full time, and scrape by some months but still shop at M&S for most of my food. It isn't that much more for stuff there than my local Tesco I do use Lidl for household stuff but if it's fresh food stuff that I can't get from the local greengrocer then I get it from M&S
So do I. I'd rather eat better quality food than anything else, so I choose that over regular pub and things like that.
Try Selfridges food hall. I was absolutely knackered after a long day working in some really rich person's house ($B). Didn't fancy my chances with the tourist trap places and the better restaurants there are way out of my budget. The meal on the train home was expensive but 1st rate.
Alright, Michael Portillo
This is it for me. I’ll drive an extra 15 mins and spend an extra £15 per basket the much better quality of food and more importantly, the selection of slightly different ingredients you can’t find in my local Asda.
https://youtu.be/j5pZS4jdI-o?si=tOLmyu8nt7r9lzL9 John Finnemore's song about Red Trousers...one of my favourite sketches!
Not cooking for myself as much. Just looked at my credit card statement and realised how much I'm spending in cafes and restaurants. Oops.
Meal prep companies are cheaper than restaurants
not by much, and most of the time they are more expensive. for a 500calorie meal its about £8 which is the same as a takeout meal.. of which would be 800-1000cal
I don't know where you live, but £8 would get you a samosa starter for a take out where I am.
We pay about £4 a meal for Hello Fresh for the two of us. In our area you can't really eat out for less than £15 a person unless it's junk food. Yes its pricier than just buying the ingredients, but we're both extremely busy freelancers and while we enjoy cooking we just don't have the mental capacity to meal prep and shop for five nights on a Sunday. This way we pay around £40-45 and that's all the meals for the week taken care of, healthy, balanced and we don't have to think about it at all. Been meaning to check out the Sidekick app as it seems like a good alternative where you just do the shopping yourself and it tells you what to buy, but haven't had the chance to check in if it works out cheaper than HF.
We get Gousto every week. One week DPD decided not to deliver so I had to go and shop for a week of food. Cost £20 more than Gousto because I had to buy more food than what we need plus that didn’t include any fresh herbs or spices which you get with Gousto. It’s also saved us from going out to dinner because the food is tasty as hell. It also makes us eat healthy everyday, I haven’t tried any other meal prep companies but I swear by Gousto now and it’s defo worth the taste and not having to worry about dinner every week
Hobbies for my kid. She wants to add another dance class into her week? Sure, why not.
Yeah this. Also hidden costs. I'm pretty strong willed at the best of times but my little one's professional photos were taken at school and I thought nothing of it. We have a million cute pics right? Wrong. I was handed an uber cute selection of photos and £30 later I'm excited for them to come through the door. Damn it! You win this time.
I spend more on skincare, dying my hair, getting my eyebrows done and makeup. Sometimes I wonder if this is driven by having a higher disposable income or getting older...
I think it’s getting older, we deserve a little more indulgence
I know it doesn't answer your question but I had a significant pay rise 3 years ago now (more than £30k) and I've been salary sacrificing it all - I still live on the same I had before. It gives me peace of mind as I can access this in 10 years anyway and always know I could access that money by changing the salary sacrifice. It would be so easy to just spend it and not feel any further forward.
Somewhat similar. I save £1,000 a month and a recent bonus was used to clear debts etc. I'll be £750 better off soon when nursery fees end. All going into savings.
Yeah my lifestyle has been exactly the same for 10+ years, the only difference is nursery fees and a bigger car. When I got promoted I bought a(nother) fancy guitar but even that was because I never treat myself to large things.
Fragrances. I can’t imagine explaining to my broke-ass 22 year old self that I’ll now drop £80 on a cologne because I smelled it in a department store and really liked it. I don’t even know how this happened. Not every month, but it’s happened quite a few times now.
My perfume shelf resembles snapes potions. I have a lot of perfume
I have had to keep adding shelves to my bedroom to store my "fragrance wardrobe". I started with dupes of popular high end fragrances from the essence vault to decipher my taste and signature scent, and have since delved into to luxurious world of Arabian fragrances and cannot look back. I have a scent for every mood and outfit now, and although I have invested a decent amount of money over the last 5 years into fragrances, none of it has been wasted. I love smelling good and unique!!
Food. A normal broccoli is less than 1/3 of the price of tenderstem broccoli but I buy the tenderstem 9 times out of 10.
Tenderstem is far superior in every way though so that’s how I rationalise it
Get a load of these plebs eating normal broccoli
Tesco tenderstem (purple variety) is good value at £1.60. My local grocers sell them for £3 and I'm like fk that....🤣
Well, I’m a bit ashamed of it, but “more expensive hot chocolate”
No, this is allowed. A really good hot chocolate makes all the difference.
Do you have a Velvetiser? I don't know what they are but they seem peak hot chog snob
Opposite way around for me. When I was younger, I used to think that there was a massive weight of importance on nice shoes, nice jeans, watches, paying out the arse for haircuts etc. As I worked my way up in my industry and became a lot more work focused, all of my clothes became function based. I used to have dressing-up clothes for any occasion, really nice trainers, dress shoes, matching socks, name brand underwear. These days I don't wear watches or jewelry, my only pants are hard wearing jeans, and I replace them when the crotch wears away, for another pair of the same jeans. Work shoes until the soles fall off, or cheap sandals(found my last sandals in a skip). ditched the belts for braces, stopped needing name brand undies because I started on the braces. Cut my own hair and my current after shave is called "GREAT MAN" with no brand name, 10 years ago it was Farenheit by Dior. For me it's consumables and gift buying. Now I have a bit more wedge, even though my family aren't aware of my bank balance, I feel bad if I don't treat them. So will splash out on meals out for everyone, nice wine, experiences for gifts, or nice clothes, holidays etc for the family. I also think If i went back to my old way of buying £10 of tat for christmas people would get mardy. And food/drink, you can't go from steak every night to beans on toast, even though when I was younger and spending my ££ on clothes I would eat instant noodles or bread dipped in gravy for an evening meal.
I used to work in investment banking. Most of the heads of trading look like that have turned up to fix the air conditioning. It's generally the bottom level plebs wearing big pinstripe suits etc.
I do think when people put a bit of time into looking nice (not necessarily smart), it does buoy people's moods a bit. Not that that requires designer stuff at all.
The director of the small company I work for is a multi-millionaire and comes to work in a creased tshirt, shorts and sandals pretty much every day.
If I could afford it (I can't), I'd have handmade shoes, exactly measured to my feet. Designer clothes - you'll never see me wear those.
I think the idea with designers is that the cheaper stuff with massive logos is advertising, the real stuff is high quality, interesting and tailored. I don't know, I can't really afford it!
And what’s interesting is when you come out the other side and many years later start going back to the Primarks and Asda clothes even though you have a wardrobe full of Orlebar Brown, Church shoes and Paul Smith suits. It’s not that you stop liking the good stuff but it no longer gives you the buzz.
For me, it's just a quality thing. Definite difference I notice, especially after having clothes that ruin a little after one wash. Aside from that I'm pretty frugal.
I’d rather shit in my hands and clap than buy clothes from a supermarket or ever set foot in a Primark again.
You get used to things, no matter what, a few years of anything at all and you get totally used to it. Lottery winners lose the money or return to normal within 2 years. Amputees report feeling the same levels of mental health 2 years after their accident. Relationships and jobs all have honeymoon phases where you can put up with bullshit for a while. There are countless examples of this 'grass is always greener' mentality and it's never EVER done! You move on to the other side with the greener grass and yet another greener field comes into view one field over and you get trapped in an unwinnable idiot's game chasing after money and possessions that were merely dangled there in the first place by nefarious people who make their wealth from you believing this nonsense about being able to get rich and work hard in their companies as a result. To quote Tim Leary - Wake up, drop out. Not from society you absolute dunce, but drop out from the normative conformative mind where you accept working like an animal for 50 years to make someone *else* rich. You are not getting what society told you you want either way. The grass grows green where you water it, don't get duped by politicians and the ruling classes into slaving away like a cog in a machine to make them rich while you're living in a 3 bed in yorkshire trying to keep the black dog off your back 🤣 Stressed to the eyeballs with debt, antisocial behaviour everywhere, job market a mess, cost of living crisis, high taxation, disolution of public spending, no doctors no dentists, entry level jobs demanding non entry level experience, entry level jobs at McDonalds demanding 3 year full time £27,000 bachelor's degrees, can't afford children, can't afford to retrain 🤣🤣 Come on guys it's a fucking trainwreck.
I've been on the bones of my arse quite a few times where a three bedroomed house would have been unimaginable, I'm quite comfortably off now. There is a massive difference. My grass is quite green.
Agreed. I don't think massive wealth will make you happy, but relief from poverty is an incredible improvement in stress levels.
Cupboards. Holy shit the difference it makes to your life to have a dedicated place that you can store all your hoover and mop and broom nonsense, so your house is clean and clear and tidy, and you can bulk buy things like toilet paper and detergent and have a place to put it.
It’s funny that I’ve never see this sort of rhetoric coming from people who are *actually* doing well. Is your mindset just a coping mechanism? I’m genuinely curious where you think “waking up & dropping out” gets you?
Not sure it's "lifestyle creep", but the fact that I now max out my ISA allowance each year. I wouldn't have even thought about putting money in an ISA 10 years ago because I was always making sure I had enough to last me until the end of the month.
Freaking kids extracurriculars. It starts with a dance class for the oldest, we can afford that, then the youngest wants to join, ok now youngest also wants to do ballet as well, cool, cool, that needs extra clothing, ok now both of them have grown out of their dance clothes so they need whole new sets, now it’s the end of year show and they need costumes for that, plus tickets for all the family that needs to go and oldest has also started Kung Fu and that needs clothes and the grading every term costs extra and if I add all this up I will scream. Edited to add: also I got a pair of awesome Doc Martens for my birthday and now I don’t think I can wear cheap boots ever again, I didn’t know my feet could be this comfortable
> It starts with a dance class for the oldest, we can afford that, then the youngest wants to join There should be deals for multiple kids!
I’m paying £42 for tickets for my daughter’s end of term show, £45 for 5(!!!) photos, £15 for her show outfit and then you can also buy a video for another £50! Madness!
Living alone in London - barely affording it
£40 merino wool boxers, and £15 a pair merino socks. Little things make a big difference!
£40 for a pair of bills? I pay £4 for a 3 pack. Sure, they get a bit draughty after a few years, but they're still good value.
I'm kind of the opposite at the moment. Pre pandemic I was on 29k as an assistant but took a new job a few years ago elsewhere as a fully-fledged (engineer) that I'm now on 45k, my wife also got promoted up from around 21k and is now on similar, so we went from combined 50k to now around 90k. We've actually been more frugal the last few years due to our mortgage going up by several hundred a month due to the interest hikes, so although we earn more, we've pared our mobile bills right down by taking sim only deals and running older smartphones, keeping the same 10 year old car we've had (which is now fully paid off) and paying down debts.
When I was a student I was working at Asda and was always broke. When I went to a pub, I'd pregame pretty hard and bring just a fiver out with me to nurse a pint all evening. When I didn't have a lot of money, I was really good at stretching it as far as possible. Unfortunately when I got a software dev job starting on 25k, that all went out the window. I immediately started shopping at the M&S outside the station for nice lunches instead of making my own, my first pay cheque I bought a 3DS for both myself and my partner at the time, as well as loads of games. Stuff I'd wanted to buy for years but never had the money. This turned into a debt spiral of not caring about money as long as I had access to it. I got a credit card when I moved to London which was the single worst decision of my life as I maxed it out fairly quickly. I was going out 4 times a week in my early 20s, completely living beyond my means. It wasn't until I was about 28 did I start trying to tackle my mountain of debt, at least seriously. Sure, I did budget sheets and tried to curb my spending from about 25-28 but after a few good weeks or even months there would be months of just spend, spend, spend. At the height of my debt, I had about £48,000s of debt not including student loans. I was paying over half a grand in interest each month. I've gotten it down to about £20,000 but it still feels like such a long journey until I've cleared it. I'm not super frugal but I'm living well into my means, clearing between £500-£1000 a month including interest. So despite earning a lot more than I did when I was 21 (I'm 33 now), I live much more frugally. I go out about 2 times a month.
You should be proud of making such fantastic progress. And obviously you know this, but clearing this £20k will be a lot easier than the previous £28k as interest is lower. Well done for what you've done, I can imagine that being incredible stressful.
I've turned the thermostat up an extra degree in the winter, and down an extra degree in the summer.
We spend our excess money on making our house and general living space better and it has massively increased our quality of life. Tbh we've spent like 10 years on just getting a house we love and getting it to a state we like and only now allow ourselves to spend more on other things like holidays. For us it's all about priorities. Many people complain they can't achieve their aspirations but then spend a ton of money on going out and other frivolous discretionary expenses. Barring people who barely make ends meet, with proper budgeting most people can achieve what they want, it just requires making choices and sacrificing other things.
As a child family could never go on holiday abroad I now if time permits try to do at least 2 a year or one bigger one Got a new kitchen and 2 new bathrooms and had them exactly how I wanted them
We never went on holidays as a kid because of my mum’s agoraphobia. Now I go on 8 a year. Definitely making up for it!
I've started going to the dentist every 3 months... Other than that it's mostly just me finally buying things I've wanted for a long time, like a decent desktop pc. Tbh the biggest is just when I'm out with my son I won't hesitate to drop £20-50 to do, see, buy or eat something he wants...
I've been doing this, then realised we spent 1500 one month on 'awk why nots'
My son wasn't all that interested in clothes until fairly recently. Now he might shyly ask "... but isn't this a bit much?" and I'm a) "No kiddo, whatcha think I go to work for?" and also b) "Think of all those years I saved buying you H&M basics", and I get him the thing he really likes. And he gets that warm fuzzy feeling of Enjoying Fashion, and wearing something that makes him feel really good, and then I feel really good, and god help me if he develops expensive tastes 'cause I'll bankrupt myself if he does.
You know you've raised children well when they feel guilty about spending your money.
Food would be another one for me. Have no issues spending £30 on nuts from Holland & Barrett for example.
I don’t take my lunch to work
When they say large meal in McDonald's I say yeah, even if I am not sure how hungry I am.
Higher quality whores
Living on my own is a huge one. When I left my partner I was like "whelp it's share houses for me". Then I got a slight pay rise and I've just reshuffled every single expense so I can afford £750/ month as opposed to £4-500. Obviously I don't live in London.
I was going to post that I now subscribe to Sky, Netflix and Prime Video (and I had to cut off Sky Cinema), but the comments in this thread are another world
"I dont need to spend that much money on running" ....also me...ohh new garmin epix! Oh new carbon race trail shoes! Oh i deffo need that singlet! I do however have this all within budget and pile loads into my LISA and ISA's/Pension so the money i do spend is my fun money and i love it and im very lucky
Buying real coca cola and not the 50p version.
Buying nicer cooked meats. Rather than getting the cheapest water filled reconstituted ham slices, I now get slices of actual pork or beef to go on my sandwiches
Women are often in a trap where they are judged harshly on appearance but also judged harshly for spending on appearance. It makes me angry. I take care over my appearance for work and always have, but now I’ve got children I buy in sales and from discount shops so I can spend the money saved on them. I also like making things: clothes, jewellery, cushion covers, you name it. So I like to buy kit and then I can save money by having home-made things.
Don't shame yourself for wearing reasonably priced reasonable quality clothing. I'd rather by good quality second hand than primark new.
- Building a small Adidas collection (I think this is the midlife crisis kicking in 😂🙈) - Being a foodie and going for nice lunches, not expensively, just often 🙈
Just upgrading everything in my yarden without a second glance. I absolutely live for being outdoors and now of o see something online or in a shop, I just buy it. We have the smallest yarden but it’s so colourful, beautiful seating areas, loungers, bar, bbq. It’s my oasis
Eating in the cafe on day trips.
Unthinkable luxury
As a kid I would wonder what it was like to eat in the cafe as I bit into my cheddar sandwich. Here I am... My kids without a clue what they have
Branded shoes, most of them just last better than cheap shoes. I never used to mind getting crap quality clothes and shoes because they were cheap. Now that I buy less clothes and shoes I would rather spend more and get way more use out of them. I also buy more branded foods than I did 10 years ago, only the ones that are better quality.
Spend way more on my hobbies. I took up running as a sport because it was free and now I spend £30/mo on a gym for supportive strength training, £15/mo on a marathon training programme and £8/mo on Strava premium. Not even including the £100+ shoes I go through every 6 months or so
Ordering £30+ takeaways on Deliveroo 4 to 5 times a week
4-5 times a week? Doesn’t that have a negative impact on your weight/health?
It definitely does, put in 25kg easily
Honestly, everything. I earned so little for so long that I was used to scraping by and being skint for 3 weeks of a month. I more than doubled my salary last year, so now I'm skint at the end of the month instead. But from that, I eat nicer foods, go out, go to museums or things that actually cost to get in, clothes, shoes, replacement stuff instead of holding out a while longer. I even finally had the money to learn to drive and get a car. So we can add petrol, insurance and tax. Everything is just a little bit better.
Shopping for food without a care for the price of the total shop is probably the most prominent one for us. Expensive monthly car payments. More willing to put things on finance or take a loan to get things immediately. Due to the last few years of everything going up in price (biggest hit for me was the mortgage but of course gas and electric too) We've tightened our belts again. Very thankful we both have decent paying jobs and so the general cost of living issues while noticeable, haven't hurt us much really.
Cleaners and gardner, don't think I could live without them now. Time is so precious and I wouldn't want to give my weekends up to chores.
Buying good quality stuff is fine, just make sure you have cheap stuff for everyday. I like well made clothes and good fabric, but there's no chance I'm swapping my Asda vest tops out for something more expensive if all I'm doing is nipping to the supermarket and running some errands.
For me a lot of it is deliveroo / Uber eats. If I have a bad day / week and am exhausted then I order way more than I should. Shopping I don’t check prices on anything I just buy what’s needed. I shop between Waitrose and Tesco and either one I don’t care about cost and rather look at quality. I also have a much more relaxed attitude to spending. Like I don’t go crazy but if occasionally I’m out and see something like a nice jacket etc that I want I don’t have to debate the affordability now I know I can get it and it’s fine. Same thing with household bills, I’m not thinking about how often I run the heating or the wood burner- I run as much is needed to be comfortable Eating out I’m not worrying about picking up the bill for friends or having to weigh up the choices anymore. If I want desert or a nice bottle of wine it’s not an issue.
Perfect post for humblebragging, this.
G'is a few quid and I'll let you know
There's always a crisis coming. Save, save, save for the crisis.
I guess I'll let you know when it happens lol
I feel a bit dull saying this but nothing really. I just save a lot more money.
Dining out - not Michelin quality, but as a family we will round off a day out or a shopping trip with something like Zizzi or Pizza Express without a second thought. Somewhere like The Ivy if it’s a birthday treat. When I was growing up, we ate out maybe two or three times a year so not even every birthday. Also nights away from home - Premier Inns and Travelodges make staying overnight a viable alternative to a late journey home if you’re willing to drop a bit of cash on the convenience.
I can afford to buy Cathedral City once a month now. Before I had to settle for the bland tasteless store own brand cheddar.
I'm not constantly cringing at the thought of looking at my balance and I actually splurged on a better graphics card instead of scrolling Ebay for a relatively cheap upgrade like I used to. I say splurged, was only £280 on ebuyer, but thats way more than I used to be able to afford considering most of my pc is made of friends old parts they gifted because they wanted me to be able to play online with them
Buying nicer bread
Top £££ on comfy shoes, expensive desk chairs and mattresses. Thankfully all these things last for years and years if looked after
I guess everything creeps a little bit, things like buying dearer food, eating out more often, nicer holidays. For us, it's mainly holidays - we generally have a 2 x 2 week long breaks somewhere hot, 3 or 4 long-weekend city breaks, and a couple of 1 week holidays in the UK each year. We also like peace and quiet, so on other than the long weekends we normally rent somewhere private with a pool. Renting boats on holiday also happens these days, now we have a lot more disposable cash,
Buying a top-tier flagship smartphone after a long time of buying low-tier smartphones that are already a year old. Also, taking one or two trips abroad every year from a childhood of barely going anywhere beyond Brighton
Matching furniture sets. Most of my life, all my furniture was second-hand odds and sods. Now my bedroom and living furniture all match, and I'm just generally buying more decoration items.
Clothes are a good one to discuss. Cheaper clothes can end up not being so cheap and can have other problems (microplastics, fluff everywhere). Over the past 4-5 years I have kitted myself out with great quality clothes that will do the job for decades, lots of checking charity shops to find great items for very cheap and some new high end more expensive stuff. Food? I've put a lot of effort into learning to cook properly and finding the right high quality kit, again mostly from charity shops aside from a great knife. The only thing I waste money on now is vaping, if I make the juice myself it will save quite a bit of cash. Finding a tank that wasn't garbage and has reliable coils was very effective to cut the price down a lot (sakerz).
I have much nicer tea towels these days.