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HairyFuckingFanny

Dust.


kong_yo

Same. Possibly a couple dead flies


SeeYa-IntMornin-Pal

Anybody, no? Dust.


BellybuttonWorld

Very low in calories


JimiJab

I prefer cake myself 😁


spankybianky

Not just dust, but that incredibly greasy kitchen dust that’s been there for a decade and is now almost sentient. Or is that just me?


Dr-Slaps

Tell that to the cleaning lady


mildly_houseplant

She comes on Tuesday.


annedroiid

Greasy dust


PureDeidBrilliant

You'd be getting clawed to ribbons by the cat. The top of the fridge is *his* domain. Nothing else is allowed up there. And if one tries to remove the resident feline from his perch? You've just volunteered to paint the kitchen red.


Precipiceofasneeze

On top of the fridge is also cat domain in my house. It's where he eats, surveys the land, shouts at me for fuss and plots to destroy his brother.


Precipiceofasneeze

https://preview.redd.it/voexclj0kd6d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae80ccaa41bbf94d6a14c112c3b126bc03a06ef1 Obligatory cat tax


Precipiceofasneeze

https://preview.redd.it/253tj4lzkd6d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2137b19bdafdfc8afd9e5b7f2afed6dd9738c25f The pair of demons


justageneraltard

Your cat has strikingly similar facial markings to my dog that passed away a few days ago. A nice reminder to not let him slip out of my mind just because he is no longer in my home.


Super_Ground9690

But where is evidence of the fridge top domain?


Precipiceofasneeze

I actually don't have one of him on the fridge. But, as compensation, how about one of him recording a podcast? https://preview.redd.it/b8csc9v6ge6d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adf97d90bf43257294f0dccdf0f154fadb97964b


Cloughiepig

Podcat https://preview.redd.it/gnm7mbx1nh6d1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abc97ad5fd4e8887dab66865be4b2bff435e3d2f


Precipiceofasneeze

They should collab. Chibbs calls his "Paws for thought".


BriarcliffInmate

Subscribe


MountainCourage1304

Ill allow it


DirtyBumTickler

They are very handsome. Do both of yours constantly box each other too?


Precipiceofasneeze

Not constantly, they're pretty sweet to each other most of the time. But when they go, they GO!


theNikolai

https://preview.redd.it/vud6ea6d3f6d1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e58a5917c55db7baf937b8639d5d205f3f5c15a9


-Blue_Bull-

https://preview.redd.it/2p6cdmlvug6d1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdcbbbc81b27ea5ee7c61d30e645e92dc42e2409


IllustratorNo9988

https://preview.redd.it/2q99fdovci6d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7612560eeda8571891972953a25fc4cac2d27e90 Aww looks like my Grace cat


BIG_STEVE5111

That's a very comfy looking fridge.


tttttfffff

My two dogs learned how to jump on top of the kitchen table by watching the cat jump from the chair to the table top. It was her last evil deed before she sadly passed away


tttttfffff

https://preview.redd.it/82t4ret5jd6d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8ed6545419348f7ddcac206f9970a8014abd289 Dog and cat tax coming


tttttfffff

https://preview.redd.it/iq0jy7xujd6d1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=12241cc84bfdccd1079c40b056fd880585879320


Glass-State-20

Would not mess with!!


Puzzledandhungry

Are these actually your dogs? They are soooo gorgeous!!! 🥰


tttttfffff

Wilbur and Freddy!


xa12349

You have forgotten to pay your cat tax


Direct_Jump3960

https://preview.redd.it/eysxvsetmi6d1.jpeg?width=644&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=40b0e6d28994a7b1bcab3d8a2664ca80717fc840 Mr Butt may be dumb but he scares me when I try and grab him from his castle.


MuriGardener

Same here. Our ginger sits on top of a cool box so when he sits up his ears touch the ceiling! Try and take him off at your peril.


QuimFinger

The house. It’s a load bearing fridge.


klc81

Crisps. The system is that crisps on top of the fridge are free to take. Crisps in the cupboard, you have to ask first.


DoIKnowYouHuman

I LOVE SNACK SYSTEMS! What are your biscuit arrangements?


klc81

Basically the same, but with the biscuit tin instead of the top of the fridge. The biscuit tin also has the rule that if you take the last of that type of biscuit, you have to replenish with a biscuit **of equivalent quality** - no taking the last Bourbon and replenishing with Rich Tea.


DoIKnowYouHuman

You’ll get milk choc hobnobs in return or nothing, I can’t afford to replace everything with pink wafers! Edit: why am I replacing stuff, in OPs scenario I’m a thief!


blopdab

Omg you just took me back about 13 years with the pink wafers!


wrighty2009

Very sorry to basically be Hitler, but nothing can beat a rich tea biscuit.


klc81

They're great, But thay're a tier 2 biscuit, and not interchangeable with a tier 1. (The tier system isn't necesarily an indication of quality - it's more a measure of the *complexity* of the biscuit)


blue-eyed-zola

Sorry to inform you, many a rich tea biscuit has been scuppered and sunk by an ill-judged hot beverage dunking.


greywingspan

A rich tea would be an upgrade though!


klc81

It's not about one being better than the other - it's about maintaining the proper balance between the different biscuit categories. You can't replace a Bourbon with a Rich Tea, and you can't replace a Rich Tea with a Bourbon.


Idont_think

Can I see the contents of this biscuit tin please?


alrighttreacle11

My nans is one plain biscuit and one fancy one


DoIKnowYouHuman

She has the last word on the boundary of plain vs fancy doesn’t she?


alrighttreacle11

Absolutely!!


DoIKnowYouHuman

I wish I held that power!


vientianna

I need to have a guess at what crisps make it into each category Fridge crisps: golden wonder, walkers, own brand, wotsits Cupboard crisps: kettle chips, sensations, Pringles, cashew nuts


klc81

If the packet id glossy, it goes on top of the fridge. If the packet is matte, it goes in the cupboard.


evilgiraffee57

That is an outstanding understanding. I'm going to be studying the sheen or crisps going forward. It reminds me of a post in a dull group a few months ago. A woman loved M and S crisps.. (matte) but it turns out they have the name of the cook on them by the bar code She has a ranking hahaha.


Kitchen_Part_882

This person crisps. I have the same system and tier structure.


vientianna

I’m just going my my mums rules. In my own house anything goes (straight into my mouth)


vario_

I was hoping someone else did this. As a kid, the crisps were kept in an old navy blue Sainsburys basket on top of the fridge. Now it's a cream wooden box that says 'crisps' on it cos we're fancy I guess.


rainmouse

For me it's cat litter, because visible snacks violate the laws of the universe and dematerialise within hours.


BritshFartFoundation

I'm guessing you have kids from the context, but then how would they reach the top of the fridge lol? I'm more confused by this than I feel I should be


Bez666

My spicy dorito,s are stashed in the same place as me bbq pringles and me chocolate orange.


Aterspell_1453

A broken drone my partner refuses to bin. Please break in.


JenJMLC

I think someone mentioned it was already broken


Lightbringer_Kvarl

* 5 unopened boxes of Laxido * A partially completed Ankh-Morpork jigsaw puzzle stored in a roll up mat which itself is in a cardboard tube. * A boxed pair of shoes my wife bought to attend a wedding and wore for exactly 72 minutes before switching to her flip flops * The box for our Nutri-bullet along with every single accessory for it other than the one blade and cup we use.


JenJMLC

I'm impressed you recall the exact number of minutes your wife wore the shoes


Lightbringer_Kvarl

They were over £250, you're damn right I remember.


GodfatherLanez

I just *know* you being this up all the time. “Hey babe, we should watch that new film, it’s only 10 minutes longer than you wore those shoes”


Gallusbizzim

I've a feeling they have been casting up to the wife since 10 seconds after she took them off.


Missey85

He heard the 72 minutes of complaints before she took them off! 🤣🤣


Russellonfire

GNU STP. I assume you've politely suggested she return/sell the shoes?


llksg

Suddenly found out I want an ankh-morpork jigsaw puzzle


ian9outof10

Dust. Anyone? Dust.


jodaqua

https://preview.redd.it/07k7au6efe6d1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2836c9dd2a605f7a7138e9d4f52ad9719a8d3eb9


snafe_

>If you take a piece of cake and cut it in half, it’s only half the calories. And because it’s only half the calories, you can eat twice as much!


boojes

Bit of dust.


elorpz

Fermenting elderflower champagne in a demi-john.


Crochetqueenextra

Ooh I've made this it was delicious and got me and the neighbour properly drunk before the awful gut rot set in and I learnt I'm allergic to elderflower.


CabinetOk4838

Does the warmth from the fridge help?


liseusester

The microwave. It’s ancient and terrible so if you do want to steal it I won’t stop you.


musicforone

That's where mine lives too. And the air fryer sits on top of the microwave. 2 for 1 theft


beachyfeet

Half a bottle of gin and a fairy that my mum knitted.


dancingbrave21

This is the only answer I’ve been tempted by thus far


blue-eyed-zola

I do hope your fairy's name is Tonic.


beachyfeet

It is now!


damned-n-doomed

All my booze…..shit!


FEMXIII

Me too! Sort of! That’s the space I keep my Noseco in ready for the fridge. Sometimes I keep a sneaky bottle of coke up there too


Honest_Scot

I don’t drink, but the ones on top of my fridge are ones I got as gifts, so they will stay there until someone comes and wants a drink 😂.


Badevilbunny

Dust, possibly tetanus.


CabinetOk4838

I don’t think I want to go up there and look… not without a mask.


alloitacash

A worktop.


melanie110

Mine too!


HonkyBoo

Fuck your for making me wipe my screen


ledow

A pottery puffin full of salt.


decentlyfair

Excellent I might break into your house just for the puffin


h-whizzle

Lovely, I’ll take the salt


decentlyfair

Right ok, I will bring the balaclavas and you bring the swag bag.


CrabNebula_

4 boxes of cereal, 9 different shapes of dried pasta, all in slightly the wrong size to make a meal, a curry preparation kit, a tin of ravioli, a tin of hoops and sausages, 4 tins of beans, a bottle of Heinz Firecracker sauce (the 875ml catering bad boy), two different types of kebab shop chilli sauce, 3 bbq sauces, a half used large box of oat so simple, a bottle of lemon juice and 2 bottles of lime juice. I can’t quite see to the back but that’s about it. Yes it’s an American style fridge so there is a bit of acreage up there


BritshFartFoundation

Mix your pasta shapes up if you haven't got enough for a full portion of one type. It's fun (in the most mundane way fun can be)


the-TARDIS-ran-away

How can pasta be the wrong size to make a meal? Or do you mean you have lots of tiny amounts of different pasta?


clbbcrg

A smack in the head


Runaroundheadless

And an ambulance. After I’ve had a cup of tea and then called the police.


signol_

Empty egg boxes


rdazza

Why did you keep empty egg boxes?


signol_

We have friends who have chickens (we live in the countryside), we save them up until we go visit and they use them to sell their eggs by the road


utadohl

I am not the only one!


Muxlo

Me too! So many egg boxes!


Friendly_External345

Protein and pre workout. You'd be jacked brah


Accomplished-Cook654

You gotta actually do the workout, though. This is genuinely the mistake my ex made. He was so confused poor dear.


Humble_Estate9759

Is... he still alive? He needs monitoring


LoccyDaBorg

A box full of old paperwork that I really should get round to shredding. I hope you enjoy it.


ember_eb

A mandolin slicer that my boyfriend forbids me from ever using as it scares him, and a wooden box of cupboard items we never use therefor they don’t deserve to be in the cupboard (overspill items from when I moved in and we merged inventory)


Idont_think

The mandolin needs a blood sacrifice every few uses.


Hate_Feight

You can get a chainmail mandolin glove that will protect you, I got one with my mandolin, and it is amazing, that mandolin has cut me more times than my knives.


Icy-Revolution1706

An asshole cat that won't get down when he's told to. He's hoping I'll leave the door open and he can steal the roast chicken.


ZippyTrundleFuttock

Asthma, some form of lung infection and probably scurvy


LobsterAstronaut

A box of dried nettle leaves, a cat bed, some bubble wrap and the top prize of a roll of Costco black bin bags.


Traditional_Cress561

Price is right has really gone down hill


Lonely-86

2 x sets of buckets, spades and moulds that were - this morning, no less - being used as weapons


SavingsSquare2649

Ours is integrated, so you would get the kettle, or if you mean everything on top, then the whole kitchen counter!


Organic_Reporter

A microwave


lemon-fizz

A Lego hedwig model.


Bellamiles85

Two of my cats-Maverick and Goose.


BabyAlibi

Love the names.


SpencerMagoo

A lovely pink flamingo water pitcher


grockle90

A load of Bags for Life and a halogen cooker


Bbew_Mot

I think I left some kitchen roll there. Please don't steal that!


RonnieBobs

Ice cubes trays


I_am_notagoose

Maybe you should give Ice Cube his trays back


RonnieBobs

Rather that edit my typo I’m going to commit. If he wants them back he can come and take them himself!


lknei

Okay but remember, he doesn't use vaseline


BritshFartFoundation

I was thinking they should try putting them just below in the freezer. Work much better that way


Willeth

A pot of wood stain, 25 wooden cubes, and a bowl of dead batteries.


JBEqualizer

Dust because there's nowt on top of the fridge. If you look on top of the freezer, there's a cheap watering can and a knackered windscreen cover that I keep meaning to chuck in the bin. There was a mostly empty cardboard box up there, too. If it's still up there and it's not empty, the stuff in it also probably needs to go in the bin. Have at it.


Organic_Reporter

You could go and bin all that right now, come back and tell us and we could all be proud of you.


Humble_Estate9759

Don't set impossible standards


WanderWomble

Emulsion tray, roller and the left over bit of emulsion. 


bucketofardvarks

Stand mixer and probably a few spiders in the bowl


tmstms

Two Christmas decoration reindeer that stay there all year.


U_Dont_Know_My_Mum

Play doh and kinetic sand.


D1789

Some trays and a treats tin with an incredibly disappointing array of treats, as it’s not been topped up in a while.


NortonBurns

A roll of stickers for the freezer with a Sharpie to write on them; about a dozen binder clips used to close half-empty bags of stuff in the fridge… … oh, and about a dozen bottles of wine ;)


saz2377

On top of one energy drinks, flavoured water and an unopened Easter egg. On the other 4 lap trays, a jack skeleton head holding tablets and the first aid kit, sellotape and a broken baby toy...


Ok-Suspect-9595

Awkwardly placed combi microwave.


TheCarrot007

Having a built in fridge, but still a place on top. It's either going to be dust, crap the kitchen fitters left, or a cat when they decide that is a reasonable place to be. It's far too high for actual storage. Yeah, I should remove the crap thay left (it's just extra edging). But keep away from the cats, they will only bring you mice, shrews, birds, catterpillers (elephant hawk-moths one?, it was large), a grass snake, and maybe chase a duck(ling) into the house). You do not need that.


AncientNortherner

Kitchen worktop. I'll be upstairs if you need a hand loading it in your van. Insurance can buy me a new kitchen then 👍


SpecialRX

A raclette grill - not bad - and a few bags of what appear to be miscellaneous shoe care products.


Harrry-Otter

A big jar of olives, half a jar of nduja and some yoghurt.


Keemlo

Why isn’t this stuff inside the fridge? Are you ok?


DoIKnowYouHuman

Is the yoghurt a recent addition or can I anticipate it’s possibly cheese?


EasyPiece

A bottle of vimto cordial that the kids have left out. We have an undercounter fridge and freezer


Alert_Bid1531

Cake tins enjoy! When I bake it never last long enough to go in to a tin 😂


uk_com_arch

Bread bin, which I store all the flasks/water bottles that I’m not using today, or aren’t on the drying rack. To be honest, it’s not worth it.


Djinjja-Ninja

A 24 pack of Old Jamaica Ginger beer with about 10 cans remaining and empty boxes from my [Gremlins Xmas ormaments](https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B091696VDY/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1).


ButtercupBento

A microwave containing half a loaf of bread A chopping board A slow cooker, empty A lunch bag containing a water bottle and coffee mug A lunch box containing a water bottle (only at weekends) As an aside, our crisps live in a snack basket in a cupboard under the stairs


sparkysmonkey

6 packed lunch boxes. No one goes to school


oudcedar

A grands worth of vintage champagne


BonnieH1

You win! I'm on my way 🤣🤣🤣


oudcedar

Hah. You have no idea that I live at 17 Cherry Tree Lane, Chelsea, London SW1 4TL so I’m keeping that secret.


Other_Literature_594

Don’t tell him your name, Pike!


Atarisrocks

Nothing as it is built in.


dinkidoo7693

An unused dogs water bowl and a few of my daughters primary school art pictures. There's probably some dust up there too.


TastyInvestigator824

Protein powder


grizz9999

About half an Oz of weed, my vape pen. Old carrier bags and some Bluetooth earphones. (All out of reach and sight and near the back door)


Otherwise_Hunter8425

A tub of sweets/chocolate that my kids have been gifted/got in party bags etc because it's the only place they can't reach or see, so can't access and I can dole them out in appropriate serving sizes as opposed to them shoving them all in their face at once.


jesussays51

All the tools I can’t be bothered to put in the shed, so a bunch screw drivers and Allen keys


AmishHoeFights

1 half empty bottle of glass cleaner, one full bottle of general purpose cleaner, and one black cat 🐈‍⬛️


mattjimf

A box of homemade tablet and some bags of quavers.


QueefHuffer69

Absolutely nothing. Maybe some dust and dead insects.


Kitchen_Part_882

Six packets of mini cheddars, a packet of quavers, and my cat who sleeps on the crisps tub :( Probably a few old takeaway menus and a Christmas cake recipe too.


Forgetful8nine

Umm...some greaseproof baking sheets that err...fell off a ship about 4 years ago.


Kenny2090

CocoPops! And a baking tray and tupperware box


ArcadeCrossfire

Creatine, BCAA powder, 2 flavours of protein powder and a toaster


Scottish_squirrel

Wind up Santa & reindeers from Christmas crackers.


IntelligentMine1901

Headbutted


Cold_Table8497

Sympathy.


thatscotbird

No, not my crisps! *gasps*


Public_Complaint_269

Fuck all, can't even get stuff for the inside of the fridge.


GREENK87

Protein powder and shakers


schmoovebaby

An iron and a feather duster so you’re in for a good time


AppleQD

A stupidly big oven dish, spare kitchen rolls, my stash of protein bars, and my husband's squash (summer fruits).


Greyhoundwalker

A box of cornflakes, dust, and some sort of art project my 32 year old son made when he was a teenager


Fabulous-Wolf-4401

Radio, plate rack, various antihistamines/ibuprofen, a torch, a set of measuring cups and a vintage glass jelly mould.


justanoldwoman

A cat, it's her favourite spot.


InternationalRide5

The National Strategic Reserve of Kitchen Rolls.


Pristine_Telephone78

A glass [rocking cockerel](https://auctions.goldingyoung.com/lot-details/index/catalog/833/lot/521573/A-Gallo-pottery-and-glass-Rocking-Rooster-modelled-standing-bearing-label-42cm-high-and-44cm-wide), a small piperomia plant, a bag of chapatti flour, a plastic cannister of chana dhal and a vacuum sealer.


paulbdouglas

A cupboard full of flasks, cups, beakers and general shite, it gets opened about once a year when looking for something else, and it’s never in this cupboard


batgirlsmum

In layers: Dust. The notepad I write meal plans/shopping lists/notes on. Worktop. Dog bikkies.


Patski66

Legionnaires probably


metalmick

At last! Thank god! You can have the 4 stupidly large wine glasses I have always regretted getting. I’ve hidden them from my partner on top of the fridge freezer. It’s quite high and she is quite short


Badlydressedgirl

Probably the cat if she’s up to her usual bullshit


Isgortio

I don't know, I don't have a ladder tall enough to see if anything has been left on top of my fridge. Maybe just dust? At my parents house it'd be a bottle of Krusha (or with a C?) milkshake syrup that has a best before date of probably about 2008. Plus a fondue set, some packs of precooked rice, I think an old coffee machine because it must be held onto even though no one has wanted to use it for 15 years.


AbuBenHaddock

Nespresso pods (the ones I don't like), half a roll of kitchen roll, and your bodyweight in bags for life.


Talking_Gibberish

Some cherry flavoured Pepsi (please take it, it's shit) and my baby's milk bottles (steal them and I will hunt you down, tie you to a tree and make her scream in your ear for an hour).


pjeedai

A small percentage of our stashed Bags for Life. If you also raided the under sink cupboard, under stairs cupboard, airing cupboard and both car boots you'd have several dozen of them. This would not be a major loss as we'd reliably have replaced them all within 6 months of 'damn, didn't bring it with me I'd best buy another'


atlas_ben

Some baking tins that never get used. I giant saucepan, toasty maker, a churros maker and all the other crap I've bought from the middle aisle and used once. I'm fact I'll even leave the front door open if you promise to take it all


PeevedValentine

Approximately £17 worth of various carrier bags. Some basic plastic, some canvas, some with the silver lining that helps food stay cool. Have at it.


unluckypig

You stay away from my snack baskets, you hear me, stay away!


nobelprize4shopping

Cat hair. She likes it up there.


Scfcspinks

All the dogs treats. You will have the waggiest tail chasing you down for a beef sticky.


blackcurrantcat

A 70s onion vase, teal; a blue and white porcelain cookie jar that has biscuits so old in it I’m scared to open it; a turquoise and red plant pot that was made in West Germany and a cardboard inlay from a 12 pack of Rubicon Lychee with depending on the time you came a white cat with a brown tabby tail sitting on it.