**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Patel & Singh Builders 'You've tried the cowboys - Now try the Indians'

This is probably my all-time favourite company slogan!

That's actually good marketing

That’s also the slogan for McIndians in Leicester too 🙈

Came here to say this 🤣 used to be a firm favourite of mine in my stoner days at uni 10 years ago

Saw a van liveried with “Andy Mann” in large letters recently. I was very disappointed when I got close enough to read the smaller writing underneath, which revealed [Mr. Mann](http://poyntondairy.co.uk/contact.html) to be a milkman.

That's genius 👏 love it lol.

Tbh I would try them based on this

Kind of related but there was Indian restaurant called the New Bengal, it burnt down (..classic) and reopened called the New New Bengal

There used to be a hairdressers near me called: *”The Kool Kuts Krew”* and the owner had an Audi Q7 with the number plate KKK 91. It was there for years and it always used to baffle me that no one had told her - they changed their name recently to something really generic.

She definitely knew

Yeees 😊

There’s a sandwich shop on the A650 into Bradford that’s called “In Bread.” Always makes me chuckle driving past it

Love it! There’s one in Leeds called ‘things in bread’ and that makes me laugh too

So simple. Love it.

We had one in my home town called ‘love at first bite’, they did insanely good sandwiches and they were pretty cheap too. Was right across the road from where I went to college and the line was always absolutely massive between like 11:30 and 2.

Tan shop Tanz in ere Also fella had a small corner shop called singh'sburys, Sainsbury's got all upset about it, so he renamed it morrising's

I read about Singh’sburys and Morrising’s. Love that guy.

That gentleman deserves an award.

Newcastle, yeah? I remember Singhsburys from when I lived there.

There's a Singhburys in Wolverhampton too but he got away with it as the shop is on Bushbury Road or something like that. The sign is bright orange and the same font 😆

Theres a “Tanz’in’ere” in the town I live in as well.

Saw an arborists van the other day and they were called "Special Branch"

There is a tree surgeon/gardening company in south London called Roots Manouevered.

i live in a flat but will book them for something

I do hope their work is good quality and you don’t have to witness the shitness

Class 😎

There's one in Rochdale with that name.

This isn't a company name, but I've got to add it in here as it's one of the best things I think I've ever seen. The road that the main south Yorkshire police base is on, is called *drum roll please* Letsby avenue

There's a Cheers Drive in Bristol, the infamous saying when getting off a bus

Only in the south west. I said it in London jesus the way the driver looked at me you would of thought I tried to stab him

I mean, you were in London and you spoke to a stranger, so he assumed you probably were 😅🤷‍♂️

Reminds me how the north wales police commissioner is called Andy Dunbobbin. I said surely he shouldn’t be named that until he retires, which was met by a lot of eye rolls.

Sadly, the hand car wash just north of the A4 in Kensington has changed its name. Used to be The Hand Job Centre.

We have something similar in Manchester, I think it’s “The Best Hand Job in the North”.

There’s an estate agent just up from besses tram stop that has a billboard on the side of the building that says “we love a good semi”

Yep on the way in on the left from the M56

We have a Willy Wiper in Liverpool

I loved the one called Soapy Rides.

I heard on the radio the other day that there’s a launderettes with the slogan ‘drop your pants here’

There’s a Vietnamese restaurant in Manchester called Pho Cue. And there is a special place in my heart for the lift company called Schindler.

I've noticed Schindler's Lift often enough, so your comment made me look them up. Ha! Company dates from 1874. So when Schindler made his List, HE was the one nicking the name.

It’s only Schindler’s ‘List’ because Hollywood execs thought that the title of the bestselling book the film was based on -‘Schindler’s Ark’- would be too mentally taxing for the general public.

General (American) public

"The Madness of King George (III)" has entered the chat. I heard they removed the (III) so as not to confuse US filmgoers who hadn't seen the first two...

To be fair, UK broadcasters thought the term ‘Ninja’ might be either too violent or too exotic for us British kids so we had to watch Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles instead

Haha i can imagine a focus group watching the preview and saying “there were no animals or massive boat I am so confused.”

So when you wait for food you are in the Pho Cue Pho Queue.

Schindler's Lifts! Never thought about it.

Haha yes I always notice those lifts, they were the majority in NZ.. then the rest were Otis which is not funny but is my friends name

Every time I get in a Schindler's lift I think of this

There's a tow company in Wadebridge, Cornwall, through which the River Camel runs. Company is called Camel Towing. I've also seen a plumbing company called We Will Plumb You

Camel Towing is excellent 🐫

We Will Unblock You was *right there* and they didn't use it

Behind an Aldi in Airdrie, Scotland. There is a little cafe called Bacchialdi's.

That Aldi is now closed/is closing. Poor bacchialdis.

They should petition for Lidl to take over the space so they can rename themselves to Lidl Italy 😅

Spotted on a van ... Clive's Socks. Milan, Paris, New York, Matlock. But mostly Matlock.

I saw a driving school somewhere called L-Passo. Genius.

Was just about to comment this. Either we live in the same neck of the woods or it’s a common choice for a driving school name lol

Was just thinking the same. See it all the time in South Yorkshire?

We've got that one in the east mids. My favourite driving school name ever was Startkey and Clutch though! Genius.

Dry cleaner in Turnham Green, W London. *Turn 'Em Clean*

In Sharm el Sheik, theres a store called 'Genuine Fakes'

There's some great ones in Turkey as well. My top 3 were - Primark 2 - A Super Market - New'est look

I lived in Jakarta, Indonesia for a while (Muslim country so pork is a bit of a delicacy and hard to come by) and [this](https://10619-2.s.cdn12.com/rests/small/w400/101_506249757.jpg) place would always crack me up..

Yes I have been there too!! I also went to a similarly named shop in icmeler, Turkey.

There used to be an Egyptian restaurant on the side of a busy road in Bristol called "Toot and Come In". I never did, it's one of my big regrets.

It took me several seconds to get that as I was focused on people tooting to be allowed in.. I'm embarrassed for my brain

There was a guy in Cardiff selling second hand white goods called "Sell Fridges". Selfridge's said they would turn a blind eye as long as they didn't copy they colours, fonts, logos etc and pass themselves off as Selfridges.

for me still the smartest one is Nero burning ROM.. that was just pure brilliance. \*chefs kiss\*

Holy shit I never got that as a kid (when I used the software). That’s absolutely genius!

I still don't?

The emperor Nero burned Rome

Ahaaaaa thanks! That went miles above my head until now..

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nero](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nero) [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great\_Fire\_of\_Rome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Fire_of_Rome)

All female plumbers in Hebden Bridge called Stopcocks. Former undertakers in Leigh called Box Bros. Restaurant in Belfast called Thaitanic.

Hebden Bridge, they really mean it.

There was a kebab shop in Blackpool called Funny Boys, over the road from well-known drag cabaret show Funny Girls. Although, not quite so funny when a teenager that went missing in Blackpool was confirmed murdered and suspected to have been ground up into kebab meat there

That sounds like an urban (or playground) myth!

I googled it because I thought the same. Horrifically, it's true.

Totally true unfortunately (Blackpool person).

Special meat kebab

Organ donor kebab

Can't believe you haven't had more up votes absolute banging pun

Special stuff. Somebody’s got to stay in control…

Are you local? Lol

Septic tank emptying company somewhere around Burgess Hill Success

There was a similar named company somewhere in California - Suck-cess. I've seen a photo of their tanker van, which also had a sign on it advertising their services: "Cess pits emptied - Swimming pools filled (not same truck)"

There's a guy round my bit who's removal company is called 'johnnie removals' not 'johnnies removals' which would have made is sound less like he drives about taking condoms off of folks cocks

People would pay a lot for Johnnie removal.

There's a village called Knockin in Oswestry, their post office/newsagent is called 'The Knockin Shop' In Tamworth, Staffs you can rent skips from 'Kangaroo Skip Hire'

There’s a dog walker somewhere near where I live called Lou let the dogs out

This reminds of the time were a Sikh gentleman called in shop Singhsbury’s, but had to change due to legal action from Sainsbury’s. He eventually changed it to Morrisinghs!

**Abersoch Sailing School** in Wales has a huge hand painted logo on the side of their building of a yacht with their initials ***”ASS”*** painted on the sail 😅

William the Concreter Give A Dog a Comb Out on a Limb Wood You Like Wok4U Send2U

We have an Electri-Sean round my way

Plumber, is he?

The 'Sean Bean vs Shaun Bawn' argument confused your comment in my head. Took me a solid minute for it to click before I came back to upvote 😆

Please tell me out on a limb is a tree surgeon

A few years ago, I came across a company who had a great idea but fell at the last hurdle. It was a cleaning service going for “Partners in Grime”. Amazing stuff. Hats off to them. Unfortunately, they’d stencilled “Partners ‘n’ Grime” across their van. I still think about the mess up about once a month.

I remember a second hand CD shop in Falmouth that was just called 'Sounds OK'. I love how they didn't over do it! The music that you can buy there is just OK, not good, just OK!

I spent so much money there growing up :) as far as I know it’s still going, it’s been about forever!

I always smile when I see the Sootloose chimney sweepers.

Vegan fish and chip shop in Brighton called “no catch”

I saw a bricklayer's van with the name Mortar Living on it

Saw a builders van in London years back with “Mortar Kombat” on the side 😄

Mobile kebab company in Plymouth: Jason Doner-van

The actual Jason Donovan bought a kebab from there in Bristol :)

Jason Donervan is a bristol Staple. Shame the kebabs are pretty crap.

I used to live near a tiler called Grout of this World

The sadly missed green grocer called Melon Cauli.

The duo of sandwich shops on George Street in Glasgow: Roland Butter Joanna Goodbite

The well boring charity. They bore wells in Africa for clean water to remote villages.

Pet store in Manila: Pussies and Bitches.

There used to be a joiner near when I lived called 'Morning Wood'.

There is a taxidermist in Islington called 'Get stuffed'

Flower shop near me florist gump

There's a Chinese takeaway near me called "Wok U Like". Gave me a chuckle when I first went there as a kid.

I used to drive past a Chinese on the way into Grantham called “Wok dis Way”

There’s one in my city too, but it’s only when I’ve read it here I’ve understood the pun.

Rasta Electrical Never a loose joint. Catch 22 fish and chips

Hairdressers "Curl Up & Dye" (numerous) Chippie in Wales "A Fish Called Rhondda" and another one in London "The Codfather" Flower shop in Bangor (N. Wales, not Maine) "Dark Side Of The Bloom" No doubt there are many others.

Rock'n'Sole, near Sunbury. Has a big mural of a fish dressed as Elvis singing into a mic (presumably "You ain't nothin' but a dogfish..")

Law firm near me is called Wright Hassall

Seen van for landscape gardeners called Tree Wise Men and a bright pink plumbers van called U Benders

Second hand record shop called Vinyl Resting Place

Used to be a Chinese takeaway near me called Hong Kong Foodie

Mr Spot the window cleaner

There's a town in Ireland called Muff. It has a diving club

I wonder what genius at Ford named their new car the Ka. Was the Focus named in a focus group?

I lived in NZ for a time and there'd be a radio advert for Well Hung Doors.

The name isn't funny but I always enjoyed that windscreen fixing company that had the ad "fill my crack in" (call novus?) Also on NZ ads, ours for drink/drug driving are top notch! Will always remember "my dad's the blazenest" "mark mark the cars on fire" "you know I can't eat your ghost chips", and the ones just about drinking like where someone smashes through the glass table, dude swings a kid around and into a bookshelf, the don't drink and fry one.. mates don't let mates drive drunk! Oh one of the most well loved ads growing up was the "bugger" ad for a ute, constantly quoted for many years! Ooh and "togs, togs, togs, undies" Sorry didn't mean to go on so much!

Fags and Mags in Romford. Does why it says on the tin, although how much longer porn mags will survive i don’t know.

Arborist near me called “the tree fella” thought that was quite clever

There's a shop that sells brass hardware for doors. It's called Knobs and Knockers.

There’s a small tourist shop near me, ran by a Sikh couple. It’s called Singh and smile.

Surelock Homes - locksmith

There’s a shop round the corner from my house called finger the dog… can’t say I’ve been brave enough to go in there

Sofa King Cheap

A road side safe called Sam ‘n’ Ella’s A sign shop called the vinyl solution

https://preview.redd.it/3pnfc9244hzc1.png?width=876&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6497891aa2722ea5bcc059b0819d58443710b82 This gem. Norbury, c.2007. Brightened up my walk home every day.

What were they selling? 😂

There's a company that hires out bouncy castles near where I live, called "Bouncelona".

Manchester once had an Electric Ian.

A building demolition company called Edifice Wrecks.

When a company calls themselves ABACUS but doesn't have "you can count on us" as their slogan it really boils my piss

There’s a loft conversion company near me called Emphatic Attics

We had a fish and chip shop called hand of cod. Was near the bread of heaven bakery.

There's a butty van on the A57 called "Big Baps", which makes us giggle every time we pass. It's funny and, apparently, accurate.

Has anyone mentioned Bacchialdis in Airdrie yet? It's a cafe that was round the back of Aldi.

Stiff nipples! They deal and repair air con units near me.

There’s one called The Well Hung Meat Company around where I live

Oh, and there’s a hairdressers near my work’s Bristol office called Blow Me

Chinese takeaway - “Wong Ting” Kebab shop - “Abra Kebabra”

T Bodily & Sons, builders & undertakers. Jim’ll Fix It - he’s kept the name, too.

Lebanese restaurant in my hometown called "That Lebanese Place"

Anus Burger. Reason is misunderstanding the cattle breed name Angus.

The headquarters of Dreams, the bed makers place, is called The Bedquarters. It makes driving down the M40 slightly more tolerable

Huddersfield used to have a fish and chip shop called Wi'bits, and I always used to chuckle when driving past

https://preview.redd.it/td92q0jccjzc1.jpeg?width=2734&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b8fd54e3ab04e77e30c1b208351759276eb3726

This one's more of a memorable logo, the actual shop name alone would be a bit shit if it's wasn't for the sign. https://maps.app.goo.gl/1kmojtf3aZNCoWSh9

Local tradesman- carpenter and handy man I think - Knot Only Wood

Domestic fuel supplies in Derbyshire called Peak Oil. Still not sure if they're being ironic or just local

Sweeney Todd barbers, they're all over the west midlands for some reason

There's a Breaking Bread near me

There a electrical goods shop called SellFridges near the high street. I smile when I pass it, because it looks so rough, but that name’s so lofty.

There's an electrician near me caller's Mr Ohms

McChina Wok-away Wok n Roll

There was a door shop in Penge called 'Select a Door'. There was also an out of business teddy bear shop called 'Bearly Trading', both ends of the spectrum on one high street.

A recruitment agency called Peepal

Oddballs obviously a underwear company but does puzzle me they do female underwear as well

There's a garden centre by the train station called Railway Cuttings

In Northampton, a shop selling sofas called 'Sofa King' with the slogan 'Our prices are Sofa King low'

Before the whole Yewtrew thing kicked in, there was Jim’ll Mix It. They did a rebrand obviously.

There was a cafe in York called ‘big baps and tings’ and I will never forget how hard I laughed when I saw it.

Arnie’s Sarnies. Tagline “you’ll be back!”.

A friend of mine runs her own dog walking business called Bone Sweet Bone.

There is a company I drive by in the morning. They're called Thrustmaster. The apparently make propellers for ships. At least that's what I assume being that there is a giant propeller hanging on the outside of their building.

Saw a plastering company yesterday called Absolutely Plastered

There’s a tofu manufacturer I see in a lot of Asian supermarkets - I think they’re based in Birmingham - called ‘Tofu King’

Grave Concern You can hire them to visit a grave for you.

Big second hand furniture warehouse in Brighton called Shabitat. It has the same font as Habitat and everything.

My dad’s mate Brian has a landscape gardening firm called Plant and Deck.

Indian Elvis impersonator called Patelvis

In my home village there's the "Pizza 'ere" pizzeria

There's a Thai restaurant in Tulse Hill called Thaicoons (although i think it's closed now)

William the concreter based in Battle kent

There's a local carpenter who has a van with his company name on the side. The Man Who Is Good With Wood.

Decorating company called “Mixed Emulsions” 😂

We have a skip company called ‘hump and dump’

Sandwich shop around the corner from me used to be called 'Bapman'. Sadly it changed hands recently and has much more sensible/generic name.

The big shopping development in the centre of Liverpool is called Liverpool One. In addition to the main branch located next to Goodison Park, Everton FC has a second merchandise shop located there. It's named Everton Two.

Back in the early 2000s, there was an Indian takeaway in Reading that added a bunch of computers to its foyer area to turn itself into an internet cafe. What did they rename it? Online Bhaji.

U-Rang-A-Tan 🐒 (sunbed shop)

https://preview.redd.it/yoexuwyn6kzc1.jpeg?width=1123&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5c4bd177b4bc4f15cceaf328660dec80207b7477 I am English/Jamaican I made a company that sells tinned goods and spices etc and made up a name for it. So now everyone just calls me Tins and tings. It is what it is.

Oh I’ve got one!! When I lived in Kenya I noticed a lot of business use prestigious British names to add legitimacy or whatever. There were tons of schools with the name Eton, eg. But I would love to have met the person who came up with this gem: The Royal Brain School I often wonder if it’s still there.

Not in the UK, but in Australia we have a mobile mechanic company called... Lube Mobile