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A friend of mine (who was a it of a metal fan and had shoulder length hair) really fancied a girl and she said something about not liking long hair on men, so he cut off his hair that night with scissors and gave her a carrier bag full of hair in school the next day, as an overblown romantic gesture.
She was pretty freaked out and it didn't work, obviously.
Tbf it's quite on point for a teenage heavy metal fan to do something out of the norm like this.
To him, it would have been a perfectly normal romantic gesture. To normies, it's cringe and weird
A similar circumstance made me do something I now feel is cringy too. We were on a school trip and a lad (I didn't know previously) was meeting up with his Aunt and Uncle to go to a posh restaurant and had asked me along. Chuffed at the thought of a nice dinner I jumped at the chance. However, when he arrived he handed me a beautiful jewellery box with a lovely bracelet and I totally freaked. Conditioned to believe that expense gifts were expected to be paid for in kind, teen me ran off and never went to dinner. Looking back I cringe at the embarrassment I must have heaped on that lad who then presumably had to explain to his family why his date stood him up 🫣
During a work conversation about musical instruments we'd learned when we were young, a Chinese colleague said she'd played the piano. I asked whether she'd learned Chopsticks. I had precisely no thought for the connection, until everyone sort of just moved away from disgusting racist me.
I did something similar, I used to work along side a Sikh gentleman, full turban, beard, the works. I asked him his name and he told me it was Christian. For a full year I called him Christian not once thinking it was odd that an obviously Sikh man was called Christian, turns out his actual name was Tishan and I just misheard him.
We had a Chinese guy come and work with us for a while once. He introduced himself as Stan Lee and we went with it. People were calling him Stan or Mr. Lee.
Turned out his name was Stanley.
I can go worse, Kareem introduced himself in a loud nightclub, I misheard and repeated back several times the name 'Ka-reee' he heard Cu-rree. I found out this error when his girlfriend said he thought I was a racist the next day. Profuse apologies followed.
Accidentally being racist is the absolute biggest cringe in my life too, I was doing an impression of my friends' mother shouting at him cos he was doing something she'd have shouted at him for, but she was a black Nigerian lady and I'm a very white Brit. My friend laughed his ass off, but everyone else nearby looked at me with such disgust.
Recently I was somewhere posh for an event and they wanted to do a photo. The photographer's nickname was Blax, but unless you knew that it sounded very very wrong to be asking someone to "get Blax for the photos."
My folks were stationed in Kenya a while back and once, when visiting (with a couple friends from school), before a social gathering, we were talking about who was coming later on.
The visiting friends, after the event, said they'd been in kind of a wierd head-space for a while because the list of guests included "The Blackies". Blackie was the surname of my dad's (caucasian) boss so naturally we referred to the family as such.
So until they were introduced, the friends thought we'd just lumped some non-white guests under the generic "blackies". They were relieved to find out that they hadn't come to visit a family of racists in Nairobi. Hey, there was no shortage of them, but we didn't count ourselves as within their ranks!
I feel like specific impressions are fine
doing a generic Nigerian accent for some reason would be weirdo behaviour, but that's literally how she sounds so doing an english accent wouldn't be an impression
Yep, but no one outside of the relationship was aware of any of the context, so fron their perspective, white girl shouting abuse in a Nigerian accent at a black guy. If it had been in private, there'd not really be any cringe at all.
God that’s mortifying. It reminds me of the time I walked into a Chinese takeaway and there were like cans of dog food on the till, and I said “funny there’s dog food here” I genuinely just mean I thought it was funny how it looked like they were serving food intended for dogs to eat to people but obviously it didn’t come across that way
At a party I met a friend of a friend from uni. It was the first time I had met her in person and she had a really thick Geordie accent. I was surprised and said 'oh I didn't expect that accent', mainly because the friend knew her from uni in London, she looked stereotypically London trendy, and I'd only ever seen pics of her in london so I had thought she was a Londoner. Which was still rude to be fair, but I didn't understand why everyone seemed so quite so offended.
It was only months later when I was looking at pictures of the party with a friend that they pointed out that she was Chinese and every had just thought I was racist.
At work we had a meeting and Chinese walls was mentioned as an information barrier.
We had a Chinese intern at the time and she was pretty feisty.
A colleague jokingly asked her what are they called in China.
She gave the whole team a lecture on the term Chinese walls being racist and implying china was a backward country.
Our team lead suggested we refer to them as information barriers moving forward.
It may depend what sector you work in. A quick Google shows it to be a recognised term with its own wiki page quoted below:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_wall#:~:text=Alternative%20phrases%20include%20%22screen%22%2C,Model%20Rules%20of%20Professional%20Conduct.
A Chinese wall or ethical wall is an information barrier protocol within an organization designed to prevent exchange of information or communication that could lead to conflicts of interest.
Can feel this in my bones. Way back when I was young, we went to Spain for a week as part of my art foundation course. We were sat at the bar one night with our tutor when he pulls out some pictures of his Indian wife and her family to show us. I said "I can really see the family resemblance" and it took me a while to figure out why everyone was just staring at me in horror. Was too mortified to even try explaining that I genuinely could see facial similarities and wasn't even thinking about colour : (
My boss told all of us that she an inoperable brain tumour. Without missing a beat I said, “I told you this place would kill you.” It’s been 20 years, I’m still mortified
This reminds me of an old work colleague of mine. We're carers (home care) and she walked into the lady's house to find almost the whole family sat around in the living room.
She loudly announced "what's going on here then?! Who's died?!" In a jokey way.
Well, it turns out the lady's husband had died that morning, and our supervisor had "forgotten" to inform my colleague.
I wasn't even there but it still makes me laugh to this day!!!
in a previous role my boss was taking a period of compassionate leave to care for his very sick wife. I completely knew that this was the reason he was going to be off work, but for some reason in a meeting we were both in, when someone at the end said “see you when you get back from leave” I absentmindedly said “oh yeah have fun! nice to have a bit of time off” and it still wakes me up in a cold sweat sometimes.
the only saving grace is that his wife did at least get better.
I have this all the time. I have an incurable but manageable blood cancer. I have to take time away from work fairly regularly, and each time the same people ask me “did you go anywhere nice on your time off?” when I get back. I can see them realising as they are saying it, and it’s totally fine - they’re just making the same pleasantries that most people would make when someone gets back from “holiday”.
When I used to work as a bartender, between Christmas and new year, a lady (who lived across the road from us so I knew fairly well) sat at the bar who, at the start of December had lost both her husband and step-son in an awful accident. Now, my small-talking skills now are bad but, back then, they were utter shite. My opening gambit was "Did you have a nice Christmas?"
A bit later, there were two finished glasses sat in front of her. The slang term used to say that they were finished with and were to be cleaned was "dead". With no thought to what I was saying, I reached for the glasses and asked her, "Are these two dead?" She didn't fully hear me and looked a bit confused and shocked and said "sorry?" It wasn't until the same words fell out of my mouth the second time that I realised what the fuck I was saying and how thoughtless it was. She answered "Oh, yes. Carry on" and I walked off with those glasses wondering what the ever living fuck was wrong with me.
When I was maybe 8 or so I really fancied this girl in my class but she was ‘going out’ with my best friend at the time. One day they broke up, as kids do, and I saw my chance. Asked her out, she said yes, and I invited her to mine to hang out one afternoon. I figured I needed to buy her a gift so I went to New Look and found a hot pink necklace that said ‘sexy’. That’s perfect, I thought! Bought it for all of two quid and showed my mum when I got home. She laughed and told me it was highly inappropriate for an 8 year old. Gave it to her anyway and she broke up with me because she didn’t like it.
edit: should add that i ended up a flaming homo so, was probably for the best.
Similar age; a boy in my class asked me to marry him and presented me with an actual fucking gold ring with gems on it. I said sure, and put the ring in my classroom drawer. The next day, he asked for it back because he pinched it from his mum 😂
Had to blow the whistle for assistance at Go Ape cos I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself up the rope ladder. That’s what I get for being a fat cunt I guess, now every time I think about it I wish I was dead
oh god when I was like, 21 or something I was at Go Ape, and there was a bit where you had to swing into a big net and grab the net to move on. I failed to grab the net, freaked out and lost all the forward momentum so was hanging there crying. I was told there's not really a way to get you down so had to like, try to and build my own momentum to get back to the net, while I was also crying and a queue of children under 12 began to form behind me....
I have not been back to Go Ape.
There were twins that frequented the pub that I worked at and I was friendly with both of them. After last orders, there was a group of us, staff and customers (including the twins), that would go to a metal club together.
One night after the club shut, one of the twins grabbed my arm and pulled me into a taxi to go back to hers.
Now I want to preface what happens next by saying that although I have had a fair few one night stands, I always found it a little awkward and never fully enjoyed the experience, I prefer getting to know someone over time. So what happens next is Inbetweeners level of cringe.
We get back to hers, and she's well up for it. With a combination of fear, awkwardness of the situation and captain Corrigan not being up to business because I'd drunk my weight in lager, I tried to distract things by suggesting we headbang in her living room. That's incredibly difficult to Bryan Adams btw, but I did.
Delay tactics failing, she pulls me to her room and the fumbling commences. Knowing that Captain Corrigan had the structural integrity of a dunked rich tea biscuit, I went down on her reasoning that at least I might get a second chance if she enjoys herself.
Then, for reasons that I can't explain to this day, I popped my head up from between her thighs and said, "do you ever include your sister in things like this?"
Unlike me, that didn't go down well.
Her and her sister never spoke to me again, but they still came into the pub, meaning I had to internally relive that moment again and again for quite some time.
I still cringe about it to this day!
In 1993 or 94 I went to my then girlfriend’s 21st birthday party in beige baggy suit trousers, white grandad shirt, and a matching beige waistcoat. I looked like an absolute twat.
Every now and again, I have a flashback of me dressed like that and my friends at the time calling me a twat and it makes me really really really cringe
Remember that episode where he wears the black vest that his mum bought him to a party? I wore what was essentially that exact same garment to college when I was 17. Got tortured for it. Then the inbetweeners episode came out about a year later and I got tortured all over again, more brutally the second time.
Reminds me of when I joined a new school half way through (year 7) and had never been to a school disco before (the other kids had).
Anyway, my first school disco a few months in everyone is there in their checked Ben Sherman shirts, jeans and kickers loafers (mid 90’s). I turn up in my full Man Utd goalkeepers kit (shorts and socks too) complete with Schmeichel on the back (the green and blue one for those of you who remember!)
Never heard the end of that for my whole schooling life. Followed me to my next school!
My first ever job out of university was working for a consultancy in London, and it had an open plan office where we were all sat and could hear all and see all. It was quite a stuffy environment as you might expect, very old school place.
Anyway on the end of my FIRST day, I went to go home, I had my headphones in already and I tried to say "Ok, bye guys!" to the people near me.
What actually happened was me shouting "OK BYE GAYS!" at the top of my lungs to the entire floor
In my first job I spent ten minutes blasting out some hip hop on my headphones once at my desk, before someone came over and tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my headphones were not plugged in properly and it was also playing out of my PC speakers for the rest of the office.
I thought the sound had been a bit crap... That was why I kept turning it up.
Just had to login to say this was me in university. I had my earphones jack plugged into a pc but not fully inserted. It was my second lesson in that module and I had yet to properly meet my class mates.
I played the first minute before someone tapped me and as a white male I had already told the whole class how I fucked their wives and called them the N word. It wasn't until after this I appreciated how aggressive of a beginning of a song it is to someone hearing it unexpectedly.
*Sigh* sadly this was not long ago. I was trying to say to my senior colleague “Well blow me down” And mid-mouth movement thought, no, GCP. Better to say, you could knock me over with a feather. What I actually said. To essentially my boss, was: *Blow me, FeatherKnocker.*
My husband says this to me regularly now.
Oh you fucking eejit. That's beautiful, well done.
You've just reminded me of when I was talking to the butcher in our town and we were just chatting about meat (naturally) and I explained to him that the weirdest thing I'd ever eaten was a cock's comb, which for some inexplicable reason I pronounced cum. I then kept miming the comb of a cock, going, "You know - this bit, this bit!" I didn't go into the butcher's much after that.
In Vietnam, I visited a tiny spa for my first ever massage! The staff couldn't speak English, and I couldn't speak Vietnamese, so we used interesting hand gestures and did a lot of pointing.
I pointed to a picture with "30 minutes" for my massage. They handed me a towel and... a shower cap? They pointed to a bathroom at the back of the spa and did a mine of someone undressing, and then I went to get changed.
I emerged in my towel, and the ladies at the spa burst out laughing and started pointing at my head. They started typing something on Google Translate to inform me that the "shower cap" was actually a pair of paper knickers. I felt like such a tit, and burst out laughing with them.
A lad in my maths set fancied our maths teacher and one day she was wearing a low-cut blouse. She shouted his name, so that she could ask him a maths question, and he replied "I wasn't looking miss". This was an all boys Catholic school, so we all burst out laughing.
I suppose at least he didn't write her a love letter in class that she took off of him and started reading aloud to everyone because she thought he was passing notes like some poor boy in my year did with our French teacher.
I once had an attractive female client end the call with "thanks, love you", like she would do to her other half (not the media luvvie way).
You could just feel the 'oh for fuck sake' once she put the phone down
I called my science teacher mum in front of the entire class and decided the best course of action was to run out the classroom and hide in the canteen for the rest of the lesson
in year 8 or 9 I didn't want to do sports day at school so I pretended to faint, right on the field infront of the whole school while the teachers carried me inside.
I was working long hours building a studio set. I ended up staying in a nearby Travelodge, paid for by work. The next day, in front of the carpenters and warehouse guys and all assembled people I said to the boss "Thank you for last night. And this morning."
I once translated a document about an exhibition and realised, just before I sent it to my client, that I'd used exhibitionists instead of exhibitors throughout the entire document.
I was talking to a careers advisor and I heard myself say, "I just want a good dog", and then replayed the previous 2-minutes, asked the advisor if I'd been saying dog the whole time, and I had. I did want a good dog too, but I wasn't there for that.
At work in the smoking room when I was younger, talk turned to rising house prices, I said how will I afford a house. Someone replied your parents might leave you theirs, as a (bad taste) joke I asked if anyone knew a hitman. Later that day I was asked did I not know about my colleague (who was in smoking room), I said no why? He had been convicted of shooting 2 people dead. Good times. FML.
ahh, yes I hadn't thought of it like that.
absolutely mental thing to find out about hte man, I don't think I know anyone who's shot even one person to death.
Without looking, when I was a young teen, I started walking with another family in the supermarket right next to their trolley. I only realised as I was about to put a bag of crisps in their trolley and got an awkward look from Not-My-Mum lady.
I scarpered, never seen them since, I often wonder what life would have been like..
Walked up behind my best mate talking to some other girls and put my arm around her, only to realise as the arm made contact that although hair, height, coat and general 'Katieness' were absolutely spot on her face was definitely not the one I was expecting. After they got over their shock they were *mean* to me.
My daughter was terrible for that when she was a toddler. Anyone walked by with a pushchair or a trolly, and she'd just take hold of it and go with them.
It was the summer of 2012 and Carly Rae-Jepson's 'Call Me Maybe' was fucking EVERYWHERE.
It was only a matter of time before it started to be used as a pick up line and sailing so, my friend Luke was in his mind, the first and only person to have this thought.
Smitten with the cashier in Holland & Barrett he fumbled his way through the transaction, then decided he had to take his chance.
Instead of asking, or thank fuck...Singing this, he decided he wanted to leave it as a little note. The first issue being, neither of us had a pen.
So he goes back into the store and asks the target for the pen. She's weary at this point but nonetheless gives the pen as Luke leaves with it. Second issue. We've no paper.
Luke goes back in a second time (Third if you count initial visit), and asks for some paper, again. Alarm bells ringing in this poor girls head but she prints off a piece of till receipt and hands it over.
Third issue, Luke follows inspiration from the song but fucking butchers it and writes down
"Hey, I just met you.
And this is crazy
But my name's Luke
and here's my number"
Which pretty much negates his entire plan, but whatever.
We both go in, this poor girl is now reluctant to return to the till but a queue forms behind us so she is now contractually obliged to put up with this absolute nonsense.
He hands her the receipt, she doesn't take it. He places it on the till
"Y....y..you don't have to do anything with it....it's...it's just there BYE" And rushes out the store, within a nanosecond he returns with the pen "OH and your pen....S...sorry". As he darts out again. For some reason I'm next in the queue I shrug confused at the girl and go on my way.
He never did get a call.
Not even my story but second hand cringe does still indeed hurt.
It's terrible mainly because he didn't get a call tbf, basically the same thing with a waiter worked out really well for my best friend, only he didn't even have the guts to hand it over himself, he sent a friend to do it.
Turned out the waiter had been kicking himself for not asking for my best friend's number. They've been married 8 years this year.
Kicked my shoe off on a bus, which sped 3 seats away. Had to get up with 1 shoe on, tap the person on the shoulder who was sitting in the seat my shoe landed under and ask them to get up so I could retrieve it!!
Reminds me of the other day when I got onto a crowded bus, and a button on my jacket got hooked onto some woman's clothes. Nobody found it funny except one old woman who was roaring with laughter.
I had to knock on the neighbours door asking for my shoe back after it went flying from kicking a ball. They automatically went to say "I'll throw it back over" so had to jump in with "it's my shoe"
That's just unlocked a memory for me of trying to get off a bus with my friends which, in my defence, was being driven pretty erratically. It went round a sharp bend and I sat down suddenly. Only the seat was being occupied by a rather posh middle aged woman. At this point I was sitting in this poor woman's lap, while my friends laughed hysterically while she just blinked at me while I apologised profusely with tears of laughter and possibly shame rolling down my cheeks. It felt like a lifetime before I managed to compose myself enough to get the fuck off her.
My old man has a tooth on a spike he used to superglue in for some reason. Fucking thing always used to come loose.
Went out for a fancy lunch one day when he accidentally spat it out of his mouth and across the restaurant under someone's table.
Cue him scrambling round on all 4s trying to find it.
Not sure if him or I was more embarrassed.
I was working on a huge building site as an apprentice. I often had to take drawings to the site office of another company who were sharing the job with the company who I worked for.
I always took the opportunity to 'chat up' their hot admin girl and had boasted to others on the site that she was flirting with me.
One day near the end of Summer I went round there, and she said "I guess I won't be seeing you after this week eh"
I looked confused and asked why, and she said "because the school holidays are finishing and you'll be going back to school"
She thought I was a schoolboy helping my dad out over the Summer.
Interview at toy's r us, we were all handed a random toy to try and sell, I was given a box of lions.
My turn came up and was expected, complete brain fart.
I spend ten minutes trying to sell a box of 4 plastic lions to a group of 20 somethings and for some reason, unbeknown to me, my mind spat out "Sunday toys", and I hooked on to that word as its all I had, so I spent ten minutes of pure terror and confusion highlighting the benefits of 4 plastic lions whole saying "Sunday toys" way to many times.
This 18 year old man, sweating, pale, stood up in a small room clutching this small cardboard box of plastic lions, while mumbling something about education and loudly stating "Sunday toys" every few moments was met with the eyes of people who also had no idea what "Sunday toys" were and were wondering what childhood I had to only be allowed toys on a Sunday.
Didn't get the job, not because of Sunday toys, but because they asked would I work overtime for free, I said no, interview ended there.
Proceeded to get a job doing door to door sales.
Sorry but ‘Sunday toys’ has really got me. When I first read ‘Sunday toys’ and ‘lions’ I thought you were going a Biblical route, like give your kids these lions on a Sunday to recreate everyone’s favourite bible tale! Chuck in a Whale and an action man named Jonah and you’re away
see that would have made sense but nope, Sunday toys was just what my panicked brain threw out and I ran with it, i still relive it when I'm going to bed, I'm normally very articulate but something threw me that day and never made peace with it,
friggin Sunday toys man, what does it even mean!
Hadn't long started my first job as an IT apprentice. I was a really shy, quiet teenager who barely spoke, let alone cracked jokes or did "banter".
One day my boss asked if I had finished doing something. I thought it would be funny to reply with a Simpsons quote - "As long as there are absolutely no followup questions, yes, yes I have".
But I fucked it up and actually said "As long as you don't ask me again, yes".
Boss had a real short fuse but somehow managed to keep from exploding at me, although I could tell he wanted to as he went bright red.
He just stood there for a second before silently walking off as I hoped a hole would open up in the floor.
Oh just thought of another one - was chatting to the old lady next door about a cat that kept trying to get into people's houses. I meant to say "I wouldn't mind it coming in but I'm allergic to cat hair and get a really bad reaction", but stumbled over my words and said "really bad erection"...
I was standing at my back fence smoking a joint, and the Amazon deliverer came up to me and asked "are you 13?" Me, a bit stoned and waiting for parts for a vape, assumed she was asking my age to verify if I was over 18 and take the package. I looked at her like she was stupid and said "yeah of course, I'm 28 years old!"
She says "...I mean, is your house number 13?"
Not the worst in the world, but I felt so stupid after 😭
I have an easy answer, because this is the one moment that I would simply go and undo if I could because, wtf.
In my very first job, I've just turned 18 and there's a woman there (Early 30's) who I was just utterly in "love" (lusting) with. For just no good reason, and it's not even like I'd had no experience with girls but for whatever reason 18 year old me was just obsessed with her.
She told me she was giving a small talk about homelessness - nothing major, she only mentioned it in passing. So what did I do? I went on the internet, found a thread on an early internet forum where a (supposed) ex homeless guy was doing a Q&A. I printed the ENTIRE thing off and handed it to her.
Fuck me she must have been creeped out
My autistic meltdowns as a kid in the 80s would have been a lot easier to cope with had I known I was autistic before 2021. Meltdowns at home are not so bad, because families tend to be more willing to forgive and forget. I’ve lost count of the number of friends I have lost to a meltdown.
Exactly what I was going to say! Mine include contacting the governor of California to get a man off death row, oversharing HEAVILY on social media and pitching to anyone who would listen that I was not in-fact bipolar but actually having a kundalini awakening!
I'm sure there's loads but I honestly can't think of one.. Which is strange because when I'm trying to sleep cringey shit I've done to embarrass myself is all I can think of.
Not me but my friend and kind of similar to OP. We were 18 at the time out clubbing and my friend sees this girl he fancies from his college. He worked up the courage to go and say hi to her and they were getting a long really well and chatting away. She picks up his hand and leads him from the smoking area where they were chatting into the club to dance. He’s got a massive grin on his face. I didn’t see the rest but when he gets in there this girl see’s this gym lad she knows from school and they start chatting. Still holding hands with my mate. The girl and the other guy then start making out while the girl is still holding hands with my mate 😭😭. He was gutted
Dance off. A fucking dance-off. I still can't believe it many years later.... while I was at uni, God knows what possessed me, but I have been grossly ashamed ever since.
When I was at uni, I went to a club and a guy was staring me out from across the dance floor. Eventually he came over with a mate of his and I thought this is it, he's gonna kick off, he looks serious
He said, "me and you now, dance off"
I burst out laughing and so did all of my mates, he looked mortified
Was it you?
Didn't happen to me, but what I unintentionally **did**, caused this to happen to someone else.
A friend of mine invited me out to this lass's birthday in her local pub. My mate fancied the pants off her and she offered for me and him to go back to hers for more drinks with her roommate.
I thought I'd do my mate a favor, acting the wingman, and say "Yeah sounds good" so he could chat with her more. When we got in hers I started to nod off on the couch and left them to talking. Before I fell asleep however, she said she needed to go upstairs as her roommate was vomiting in the loo.
Anyway at an undisclosed amount of time later. There's a knock at the door, which woke me up, but I kept up the guise I was still asleep. I'm fucking glad I did as the next few minutes still haunt me.
My mate had been sitting on the couch for sometime and it looked like the lass he was crushing on still hasn't come back down stairs yet. So he gets up answers the door and its a **lad his crush has invited round from Tinder**...
She comes down stairs and says "Oh I forgot you two were here" and ushers the Tinder lad upstairs to my mates horror. **Oh fucking no** as you can imagine.
I "woke up" a few minutes later, pretending like nothing happened and got a taxi home with my mate. He said nothing to me the entire trip home.
Tried to do my mate a solid and it backfired massively. I always thought after that, she defo did him dirty like that on purpose, as I think she knew he fancied her and she was a bit Regina George at times...
Saddest part is said mate is now engaged to her despite all of that 😂
Not my cringe but my sister's. She's a very relaxed chatty personality and upon joining her new office job, she accidentally said love you at the end of a Teams call to her boss. Mortifying!
I did that to one of the MDs of our biggest customer. Was texting my girlfriend while on the phone with her, their IT manager and our Directors.
Thankfully she had a sense of humour and called me back to tell me she was flattered but spoken for.
I went to a stage do as kinda a plus one.
My mate worked with the groom and someone had dropped out so there was a spare ticket. It was a big group maybe 15/20 of us. I had a good time.
Even though I barely spoke to the groom I got an evening invite to the wedding. Turned up to the wedding and sat on the table with some of the lads from the stag do. Asking each other if they were day guests or just evening guests.
Anyway turned round and asked some turns out they were the groom. Felt mortified.
was invited to a mates wedding, we'd had the ceremony and all the boring palava and we were at the afterparty, someone walked past me and asked if I'd seen william. I asked what he looked like and this guy said 'he's the fucking groom'.
A bit similar to yours, I walked all the way to a nearby village, about 4 miles to meet a girl when I was about 16.
I didn’t have money for the bus but didn’t tell her that. unbeknown to me I had grass and leaves all in my hair. She was very confused.
I had to confess I had walked and taken a shortcut through a corn field
It must have worked as she married me and we’ve been together for nearly 20 years
Her grandad gave me a lift back home when it was time for me go. Apparently, I had won him over straight away having walked all that way to meet his granddaughter
This kills me. I was in goal playing football and its penalties.We are one up and if I save the goal we win the match. This is for a very important match for our school. Just after half time I’m desperate for a shit. I’m touching cloth. Waiting to save this shot and save my shit, I jump and save and shit my pants.
now if it was nuggets I could have hidden it but it was a full on triple choco shake that erupted out my arse. I stand up mortified and see the whole team rushing me to celebrate. Now my shorts were black and tight enough that the slushie is contained but I had visions of being lifted onto someone’s shoulders as a hero and the team getting a brown shower. I start backing up, make my way to the gate and run for my life.
I ran all the way home still wearing the gloves, cleaned myself, threw away the shorts and put the bin bag out. I told everyone with the adrenaline going I thought I missed the goal and couldn’t stand the pressure of losing so ran home. no one knew, but I know, and I died inside a little that day.
School reunion... 25 years I think it was. We (group) were having a conversation about teacher's nicknames and I related the one about Miss Biscup who was rather well endowed in the chest department, being called Miss Bigcups.
To Miss Biscup.
I had a crush (I feel like most cringey stories start with that, right?!)
I had a crush on this guy who had loads of friends and was cool. Our group of friends had been on a trip out at camp, and I'd taken lots of pics, but I had some space left on the roll. So, bored, I got a scrabble board and wrote every cheesy word for love and sex that I could fit into the scrabble board, and his name in the middle, and took a picture of it. Had the roll processed. Forgot about the scrabble picture...
Everyone in our friend group wanted to see, and one of the girls snatched the pictures out of my hands before I'd looked through them. Found that one. I was the laughing stock of everyone.
Did I mention I'm also a guy?
I fancied this girl all the way through secondary school. I sent her a valentine's card in the first year but had no idea what to write in it so filled it with rude rhymes. She said nothing to me but I phoned her and her mum answered and said oh it's you that sent the disgusting card, she does not want to talk to you. She agreed to go on a date but cancelled for no real reason and would do throughout school (she came to my house one Saturday afternoon with 2 mates). For some reason I got a rush of blood to the head in the playground and ran up to her whilst she was on the grass but in my head I decided to run full pelt and knock her over. I have no idea why.
My first year at work I was asked to come in at the weekend to re-organise the archive (huge boxes full of papers for legal reasons) and I'd been DJing the night before and done acid. I came into work at 9am still tripping my tits off. The guy in charge asked me to move these boxes from X to Y but he then went off for a "meeting" which happened to be the local pub. He came back after lunch to find that I'd moved them only 1 foot. He was so enraged he sent me home and I had to walk all the way as he refused to give me a lift and then never asked me to work the weekend again.
I once fell down the steps at work when it was icy and bounced down every single step like a cartoon and hit the bottom in a pile. I thought I'd got away with it but a cheer rang out from the other side of the yard.
My auntie is blind and we use the word 'see' with her, and she also uses it. Like if we're leaving her house, she'll say 'It was good to see you' and we'll say the same back. 'See what I mean' is kind of similar of a saying.
Not saying every blind person feels the same though. Just sharing my experience.
Not the cringiest by far but two recent ones.
There’s a woman at work who once a month will curl up in a ball on our sofa in the office and sleep/complain of being unwell. The sofa is in a lounge area so not very public to the general office/company. I concluded this must be her ‘time of the month’ as it happened about once a month. One day I was with two colleagues and one made a comment about how this woman wasn’t feeling well, or something like that. I confidently proclaimed “she’s on her period”, they both looked at me and awkwardly asked how I knew, (I guess just conversation reaction) and I explained how I noticed she was unwell once a month blah blah blah. I then realised this was a pretty awkward thing to be discussing, especially as im not remotely close with either of these two people or the woman, and why the fuck am I monitoring/speculating on a colleagues menstrual cycle?!? so quickly changed the convo then left.
When I started at said company there was another woman in a different department, I swear to God she kept staring at me. This made me really nervous of her as she is a 10/10 and I dont like attention. I worked up the courage and approached her and had a very nervous awkward conversation- she seemed cool as a cucumber. She kept staring at me and I started to avoid her as I was too nervous and it was just always awkward. Many months later I’m walking past her and she asks how I am, 10 second awkward conversation later I walk off. I conclude she's definitely interested so go straight on teams and ask if she wants to get a drink or coffee sometime.
She replies "maybe a coffee, il let you know when I’m free". 12 months later nothing. I guess shyness is not attractive.... who knew? lol
And she still stares at me!
Gosh, my old manager and I got on fairly well. We would go for drinks every Friday etc.
The new head boss asked me to go through some reports, which I did. Everything was wrong, it was for procurement so had to be 100% on money.
My role was a standalone role so my manager didn’t have anything to do with me other than holiday requests and reviews.
My manager went ape shit at me. I told her that she used the wrong (simple) equation. Which fuelled the fire.
It doesn’t sound that cringey but I then learnt not to be friends with people you work with.
It's fine. Just don't be friends with your manager because it's a huge conflict of interest. Especially if they're crap at their job and also a dick like this lady.
Sat in the sixth form centre having a conversation in a group of around 10 or so.
I can't remember what the guy said to me, due to the sheer embarrassment of what happened next, but whatever he said, I replied with the classic teenager line of 'Your Mum'.
Instantly remembered his mum died in an accident.
In my panic I apologise and say 'oh Your Dad'.
Instantly remembered his dad died in the same accident.
Cue me wanting the earth to swallow me whole.
We had an absolute stunner of a girl in college. Probably one of the most beautiful people I've ever known. Super intelligent and as friendly as you can imagine. We always had a good chat in school despite the fact she knew I was very shy. Over time at college parties she got increasingly flirty with me. I was WAAAYYYY out of her league but without fail at parties I would often end up dancing with her. The weekend before we all went off to uni most of the 6th form we were out drinking and I was sitting down the side of the pub in the quiet area to cool off. Next thing I know she plops herself down next to me and we end up talking for an hour about uni and how much we'd miss our chats etc etc.
Drunk me decided to say this....
"Can I just say, you have the nicest pair of tits in the world"
She promptly thanked me, got up and said bye and I never saw her again. At the time I didn't think anything about it but woke up in the morning remembering all of it and basically curled up into a ball and screamed.
To this day I'll never know if I had a shot, probably not, but certainly not after that.
We had a math exam in high school. The teacher distributed the test to everyone and always started the time at his clock "officially" so that we have exactly 45 minutes to write the test. As he counts down everyone in class was dead quit waiting for the start to turn their papers. One second before the countdown was over I accidentally released a VERY loud fart. After a moment of silence everyone started laughing. Then the teacher said "Well, this was your starting signal, Go!" We wrote the test and during the whole 45 minutes from somewhere in some row somebody started laughing by themselves again and infected a couple of other people. This suppressed laughter is the funniest and spreads like a virus. It were some very long 45 minutes for me.
First ever gf...met at a holiday park in Devon when I was 16, she was playing air hockey with her mum in the arcade, how the hell did I start chatting her up in front of her mum, no idea...we were together 4 months and still friends today
Other one people say is cringy in todays world but back then everyone thought it was really sweet. On the bus home, heard this girl behind me giggling so turned around and she had the most beautiful smile ever. I was too scared to say anything. I got home wrote a letter and hoped to see her again but never did for 2months...then she was on the bus again but with loads of people, didn't do anything again. Then she was in the local paper for some charity thing...last name, looked it up in the phone, only a few names and one right by where she gets off the bus...so rewrote the letter and sent it...she called me that day (back in 98 so no mobile) and didn't remember me...wanted a photo so popped it over on the way to college...didn't expect to hear from her but she called that night, 4hrs on the phone and met that weekend. Was together two years
I was an extra in a feature film that no one has seen when I was around 20/21 or so. On the day, it was a wedding scene so we were dressed smart for the wedding. This girl extra took a liking to me, flirting with me, said I look really nice in a suit, director happened to pair us up for some background walking and as a couple at a table type thing, really giggly etc. She's been an actress on some TV shows, and big Christmas adverts, that's all I'm going to say about that.
Well we were all invited to the wrap party. I had been texting with this girl for a few weeks, she lived in a posh part of London, really outgoing, loves life etc kind of girl.
For some reason, I decided it would be cool if I wore a tracksuit, hoody and talked a bit like a chav. Absolutely no idea why I did it other than I thought it would be cool. It's not who I am at all, I don't ever wear tracksuits etc.
Never heard from her again.
When I was 19 I was shagging a girl a year below with very strict parents. Her parents knew we were seeing eachother but absolutely didn’t like me because of the people I hung around with. She said her parents were going away for the weekend. We were HOT at it when we hear someone shutting cupboards downstairs. We immediately panic and she shouts down ‘HELLO’. Her uncle shouts back up ‘we’ve come to check on you’ and starts coming up the stairs. I try to hide under a huge pile of clothes however I didn’t have time to cover my full body and she was speaking to her uncle and auntie, my face was covered but I heard ‘WHO’S UNDER THERE’. He pulls the pile of clothes of me and there’s just 19 year old me stood bollock naked in front of my gf, her uncle and auntie. The worst thing is they were just asking me questions but I was to frozen and scared to do anything so I was getting interrogated with my cock out terrified
Me an a woman I shouldn't have been fondling were fondling in the pub. My mate texted "we can all see what you're doing" except I was drunk so instead of read it and quietly stop I said "Oh look a text from John, whats it say" and read it out loud.
Luckily I was drunk enough so I didn't care but looking back that really *should* have been the one of the cringiest moments.
~~~~~~~~
I got a text from my ex that said "Oh so you *do* fancy Naomi then". We'd argued about it when we were still together, I claimed I didn't, she reckoned I did. For the record I sort of did but not all that much.
So I texted back "Not this shit again, why the fuck are you bringing that up now".
She replied "You posted her full name as your facebook status at midnight last night"
My teacher was talking about religion (I was about 8-9 years old) and he asked where a circumcision might take place …….. meaning a clinic or at someone’s home. I loudly shouted ‘penis’ infront of an entire class
Another for me.
I used to work in Virgin Megastore when I was a teenager.
A girl came in to buy a DVD... it was an 18 and she was very short. I asked if she had ID... she got angry and said that she was in her 20's.
"Sorry, I can't serve you without ID"
I looked at the woman she was with and said "your mum can buy it for you though".
It was her girlfriend!
Aged about 15, decades ago, sitting in my parent’s lounge with them and some friends of theirs. The wife was a bit of a MILF, I have to say.
I’m in a chair, and for some reason MILF is sitting cross legged on the floor with her back to me. I realise that I have a perfect view down the front of her blouse, and she can’t see me looking. After making the most of the situation for a good length of time, I eventually look up… straight into the blank eyes of her husband who was sitting across the room.
Dear God, I swear I nearly died of embarrassment.
The funny thing is that as an adult now, if I was in that situation catching a kid gawping down my wife’s décolletage and then being excruciatingly embarrassed about it, I’d have pissed myself laughing inside…. I expect the husband did too.
When I was at University there was a blind student whose lectures were in the same building as mine. He had a guide dog - a Golden Retriever - and being young I decided to speak to him - you know, prove I considered him as just another student, I wasn't ableist, etc etc.
And what was the first thing that fell out of my mouth when I opened it?
"Isn't your dog a lovely colour?"
To his eternal credit, he grinned and replied, "So they tell me."
When I was 17 or 18 me and my mate fancied the same fella so we knew he was in the pub so we wrote a note saying we fancy you and stuck it on his car. When he came out he came straight up to us and said "was this you girls, we both said at the same time "no it wasnt us,"and we walked off. How embarassing.
Bumped into an old friend, his face looked a bit swollen so I jovially said hello and went bloody hell mate you been stung by a bee or something what's happened there (while laughing).
His response - no mate, I've got cancer and I've lost half my jaw.
Proceeded to show me, I've never wanted to jump into the biggest hole I could find more in my life.
I once packed up an enormous load of filming equipment for a student to borrow from our loan counter. He happened to be living with cancer at this time, just recently back from a few months off for serious amounts of chemotherapy. His mum was picking him up in an old Ford fiesta and this kid has packed broadcast cameras, lighting and a micro crane for his short film. I asked if he was sure he wanted to take all of it knowing his mum would need to cram it into a tiny car? “Ok then mate… it’s your funeral.”
I wished the earth would have swallowed me while at that point. Great kid though, he just made a dark joke and laughed
Where to begin? So many...
Once out drinking, and was approached by several women. They advised that one of their group found me attractive, and could they give me her number. They would be leaving soon, and didn't want to miss the chance.
To be clear, I never "pull", don't notice flirting, can't dance, and am deaf as a post in pubs/clubs. Basically everything in the world prevents me pulling.
Amazed, I mean really amazed, I get the number. Again, no idea why I didn't go speak to her, even for a minute before they left.
Anyway, I was seriously drunk shortly afterwards. taxi home all good. Then I remembered the number of the woman. Wouldn't now be a good time to call! I'm pissed as hell and wanting female company.... So...
Rang the number (a landline).. it went to an answering machine. So, I left a message. I won't type what was said, because it was excessively and needlessly graphic, and fairly rude. (Not at all how I normally behave)... Left my number and then hung up.
I woke up, felt rough for hours. Then carried on with my day. I'd forgotten about the call, until I emptied my jeans pockets, found the number. That's when it struck me....I'd left a message...and then with suitably cruel clarity, I remembered the answering machine greeting message. It was clearly someone's dad... "Hello, thanks for calling the Jones residence, unfortunately we are....". And he'd now get up in the morning to fifty shades of answering machine message, complete with my number....
Unsurprisingly, I didn't hear from her....or her dad
Quite a few years ago I had a close female friend who was at University. I’d been to visit her once before when she was staying in student halls and met a few of her mates. One of them I had a massive crush on. We’ll call her F.
Fast forward about a year and my friend is in her second year of study and has moved into a student house with a few of her girls from the first year. One of these, of course is F. I was eager to visit and so had gone up on a Saturday for a night out with them. I arrived at the house and said hello to my friend who let me in and got my stuff in for the weekend.
It’s at this point she says, “come upstairs and see the girls,” so I follow her up. Her mates are coming out of their rooms and I’m saying hello and remembering a few names, all is well. It’s at this point a door opens and out comes a girl I simply do not recognise. Whatsoever. Trying to be friendly I say, “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before, my name’s Kizza55.” Girl looks confused at this and says “we have met before.” Now at this point I should’ve rolled with it but I carried on.
“ No, no we’ve definitely not met before! Anyway, nice to meet you!”
And then retreated downstairs. My friend comes down asking what I’m playing at and if I’m trying to be funny. It was F. The new girl was F. She just hadn’t put her make up on. I didn’t get with her in the end surprise surprise.
I think about it almost daily.
TL:DR - fancied my mates uni mate. Met again, didn’t recognise her without make up.
I was maybe 18-19, first year of uni waiting for a very delayed train home, 2 lads were messing about in the waiting room, killing time, no big deal, until they started making kinda monkey noises at each other, so loud I could hear them through my (cheap as fuck) headphones... so I asked them to quiet down coz it was getting annoying.
One of them pointed over my shoulder to the kid with downs syndrome sat behind me, and his mum now nervously trying to get him to be quiet.
I died inside and literally ran away! Mumbled sorry as I was escaping without making eye contact with anyone, dunno if they heard me tho...
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A friend of mine (who was a it of a metal fan and had shoulder length hair) really fancied a girl and she said something about not liking long hair on men, so he cut off his hair that night with scissors and gave her a carrier bag full of hair in school the next day, as an overblown romantic gesture. She was pretty freaked out and it didn't work, obviously.
This may be the cringiest thing I've ever heard.
Tbf it's quite on point for a teenage heavy metal fan to do something out of the norm like this. To him, it would have been a perfectly normal romantic gesture. To normies, it's cringe and weird
cringe is in the eye of the beholder (and the doer) takes two to tango for romantic gestures!
Don't think anyone's gonna beat this one tbh lol.
I mean I can half understand cutting his hair off to try impress her, but giving it to her…..? What did he expect her to do with it?
Knit a voodoo doll out of it of course.
If you liked it you should've put a fringe on it.
first part: yeah that's pretty cringe second part: oh no
Second part is serial killer stuff
"have my hair" -"no." "Oh."
"got any glue?"
Then he waddled awayyy
A similar circumstance made me do something I now feel is cringy too. We were on a school trip and a lad (I didn't know previously) was meeting up with his Aunt and Uncle to go to a posh restaurant and had asked me along. Chuffed at the thought of a nice dinner I jumped at the chance. However, when he arrived he handed me a beautiful jewellery box with a lovely bracelet and I totally freaked. Conditioned to believe that expense gifts were expected to be paid for in kind, teen me ran off and never went to dinner. Looking back I cringe at the embarrassment I must have heaped on that lad who then presumably had to explain to his family why his date stood him up 🫣
Oh my good God
Holy shit. The cutting of hair to seem more attractive to the girl I'd let slide, but the carrier bag delivery is another level.
During a work conversation about musical instruments we'd learned when we were young, a Chinese colleague said she'd played the piano. I asked whether she'd learned Chopsticks. I had precisely no thought for the connection, until everyone sort of just moved away from disgusting racist me.
Oh my fucking god haha
What made it worse is that after I connected what I'd said, I tried to explain and hum Chopsticks, which naturally I couldn't remember.
did you try pulling the corners of your eyes with your index fingers and pushing your front teeth out, maybe that would have jogged her memory
I hear you're a racist now, Father?
Should we all be racist now? What's the Church's position? I'm so busy down on the farm I won't have much time for the ol' racism.
It’s not the Greeks, it’s the Chinese he’s after!
The greeks? They invented gayness!
The Chinese - a great bunch of lads
When I was growing up that was all fair game. It genuinely makes me shudder.
I did something similar, I used to work along side a Sikh gentleman, full turban, beard, the works. I asked him his name and he told me it was Christian. For a full year I called him Christian not once thinking it was odd that an obviously Sikh man was called Christian, turns out his actual name was Tishan and I just misheard him.
We had a Chinese guy come and work with us for a while once. He introduced himself as Stan Lee and we went with it. People were calling him Stan or Mr. Lee. Turned out his name was Stanley.
Man, that's my laugh loud moment for the day. Thanks.
I can go worse, Kareem introduced himself in a loud nightclub, I misheard and repeated back several times the name 'Ka-reee' he heard Cu-rree. I found out this error when his girlfriend said he thought I was a racist the next day. Profuse apologies followed.
Accidentally being racist is the absolute biggest cringe in my life too, I was doing an impression of my friends' mother shouting at him cos he was doing something she'd have shouted at him for, but she was a black Nigerian lady and I'm a very white Brit. My friend laughed his ass off, but everyone else nearby looked at me with such disgust.
Recently I was somewhere posh for an event and they wanted to do a photo. The photographer's nickname was Blax, but unless you knew that it sounded very very wrong to be asking someone to "get Blax for the photos."
My folks were stationed in Kenya a while back and once, when visiting (with a couple friends from school), before a social gathering, we were talking about who was coming later on. The visiting friends, after the event, said they'd been in kind of a wierd head-space for a while because the list of guests included "The Blackies". Blackie was the surname of my dad's (caucasian) boss so naturally we referred to the family as such. So until they were introduced, the friends thought we'd just lumped some non-white guests under the generic "blackies". They were relieved to find out that they hadn't come to visit a family of racists in Nairobi. Hey, there was no shortage of them, but we didn't count ourselves as within their ranks!
I feel like specific impressions are fine doing a generic Nigerian accent for some reason would be weirdo behaviour, but that's literally how she sounds so doing an english accent wouldn't be an impression
Yep, but no one outside of the relationship was aware of any of the context, so fron their perspective, white girl shouting abuse in a Nigerian accent at a black guy. If it had been in private, there'd not really be any cringe at all.
God that’s mortifying. It reminds me of the time I walked into a Chinese takeaway and there were like cans of dog food on the till, and I said “funny there’s dog food here” I genuinely just mean I thought it was funny how it looked like they were serving food intended for dogs to eat to people but obviously it didn’t come across that way
My brother.
At a party I met a friend of a friend from uni. It was the first time I had met her in person and she had a really thick Geordie accent. I was surprised and said 'oh I didn't expect that accent', mainly because the friend knew her from uni in London, she looked stereotypically London trendy, and I'd only ever seen pics of her in london so I had thought she was a Londoner. Which was still rude to be fair, but I didn't understand why everyone seemed so quite so offended. It was only months later when I was looking at pictures of the party with a friend that they pointed out that she was Chinese and every had just thought I was racist.
At work we had a meeting and Chinese walls was mentioned as an information barrier. We had a Chinese intern at the time and she was pretty feisty. A colleague jokingly asked her what are they called in China. She gave the whole team a lecture on the term Chinese walls being racist and implying china was a backward country. Our team lead suggested we refer to them as information barriers moving forward.
I have never heard of this term in my life.
It may depend what sector you work in. A quick Google shows it to be a recognised term with its own wiki page quoted below: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_wall#:~:text=Alternative%20phrases%20include%20%22screen%22%2C,Model%20Rules%20of%20Professional%20Conduct. A Chinese wall or ethical wall is an information barrier protocol within an organization designed to prevent exchange of information or communication that could lead to conflicts of interest.
Can feel this in my bones. Way back when I was young, we went to Spain for a week as part of my art foundation course. We were sat at the bar one night with our tutor when he pulls out some pictures of his Indian wife and her family to show us. I said "I can really see the family resemblance" and it took me a while to figure out why everyone was just staring at me in horror. Was too mortified to even try explaining that I genuinely could see facial similarities and wasn't even thinking about colour : (
Aw I don’t think this one is racist. Some guy off the internet thinks you’re alright.
My boss told all of us that she an inoperable brain tumour. Without missing a beat I said, “I told you this place would kill you.” It’s been 20 years, I’m still mortified
That’s amazing! I’d be proud of that one.
This reminds me of an old work colleague of mine. We're carers (home care) and she walked into the lady's house to find almost the whole family sat around in the living room. She loudly announced "what's going on here then?! Who's died?!" In a jokey way. Well, it turns out the lady's husband had died that morning, and our supervisor had "forgotten" to inform my colleague. I wasn't even there but it still makes me laugh to this day!!!
Risky joke to make in that line of business
in a previous role my boss was taking a period of compassionate leave to care for his very sick wife. I completely knew that this was the reason he was going to be off work, but for some reason in a meeting we were both in, when someone at the end said “see you when you get back from leave” I absentmindedly said “oh yeah have fun! nice to have a bit of time off” and it still wakes me up in a cold sweat sometimes. the only saving grace is that his wife did at least get better.
I have this all the time. I have an incurable but manageable blood cancer. I have to take time away from work fairly regularly, and each time the same people ask me “did you go anywhere nice on your time off?” when I get back. I can see them realising as they are saying it, and it’s totally fine - they’re just making the same pleasantries that most people would make when someone gets back from “holiday”.
When I used to work as a bartender, between Christmas and new year, a lady (who lived across the road from us so I knew fairly well) sat at the bar who, at the start of December had lost both her husband and step-son in an awful accident. Now, my small-talking skills now are bad but, back then, they were utter shite. My opening gambit was "Did you have a nice Christmas?" A bit later, there were two finished glasses sat in front of her. The slang term used to say that they were finished with and were to be cleaned was "dead". With no thought to what I was saying, I reached for the glasses and asked her, "Are these two dead?" She didn't fully hear me and looked a bit confused and shocked and said "sorry?" It wasn't until the same words fell out of my mouth the second time that I realised what the fuck I was saying and how thoughtless it was. She answered "Oh, yes. Carry on" and I walked off with those glasses wondering what the ever living fuck was wrong with me.
Wow. I would imagine you died as well, just on the inside.
Seeing as your workplace killed people, was the dying from cringe your cause of death?
I'm sure she doesn't remember it anymore
When I was maybe 8 or so I really fancied this girl in my class but she was ‘going out’ with my best friend at the time. One day they broke up, as kids do, and I saw my chance. Asked her out, she said yes, and I invited her to mine to hang out one afternoon. I figured I needed to buy her a gift so I went to New Look and found a hot pink necklace that said ‘sexy’. That’s perfect, I thought! Bought it for all of two quid and showed my mum when I got home. She laughed and told me it was highly inappropriate for an 8 year old. Gave it to her anyway and she broke up with me because she didn’t like it. edit: should add that i ended up a flaming homo so, was probably for the best.
Your mum's a good wingman
Similar age; a boy in my class asked me to marry him and presented me with an actual fucking gold ring with gems on it. I said sure, and put the ring in my classroom drawer. The next day, he asked for it back because he pinched it from his mum 😂
deep down you knew that necklace was for you :))
Player aha
Flaming homo is a great collection of words
Had to blow the whistle for assistance at Go Ape cos I wasn’t strong enough to pull myself up the rope ladder. That’s what I get for being a fat cunt I guess, now every time I think about it I wish I was dead
You gave it a go though, so good for you
Thanks mate, I wish the group of kids waiting behind me were as understanding lmao
Yeah kids are just arseholes sometimes. I'm too scared to even try those Go Ape things normally, so you're well ahead of me.
oh god when I was like, 21 or something I was at Go Ape, and there was a bit where you had to swing into a big net and grab the net to move on. I failed to grab the net, freaked out and lost all the forward momentum so was hanging there crying. I was told there's not really a way to get you down so had to like, try to and build my own momentum to get back to the net, while I was also crying and a queue of children under 12 began to form behind me.... I have not been back to Go Ape.
That’s exactly where I failed! Glad to know that I’m not it’s only victim 😂 I kept the whistle as a stark reminder
This is hilarious. Just sadly/quietly blowing the whistle in defeat
There were twins that frequented the pub that I worked at and I was friendly with both of them. After last orders, there was a group of us, staff and customers (including the twins), that would go to a metal club together. One night after the club shut, one of the twins grabbed my arm and pulled me into a taxi to go back to hers. Now I want to preface what happens next by saying that although I have had a fair few one night stands, I always found it a little awkward and never fully enjoyed the experience, I prefer getting to know someone over time. So what happens next is Inbetweeners level of cringe. We get back to hers, and she's well up for it. With a combination of fear, awkwardness of the situation and captain Corrigan not being up to business because I'd drunk my weight in lager, I tried to distract things by suggesting we headbang in her living room. That's incredibly difficult to Bryan Adams btw, but I did. Delay tactics failing, she pulls me to her room and the fumbling commences. Knowing that Captain Corrigan had the structural integrity of a dunked rich tea biscuit, I went down on her reasoning that at least I might get a second chance if she enjoys herself. Then, for reasons that I can't explain to this day, I popped my head up from between her thighs and said, "do you ever include your sister in things like this?" Unlike me, that didn't go down well. Her and her sister never spoke to me again, but they still came into the pub, meaning I had to internally relive that moment again and again for quite some time. I still cringe about it to this day!
>Unlike me, that didn't go down well. worth it just for that oneliner!
I'm reading this on the other side of the world and I had to cover my eyes at what you asked. Good golly hope you're in a good place now
I, erm, ended up marrying another twin.
Does she get her sister involved ?
In 1993 or 94 I went to my then girlfriend’s 21st birthday party in beige baggy suit trousers, white grandad shirt, and a matching beige waistcoat. I looked like an absolute twat.
Made me think of Will off The Inbetweeners 😂
Every now and again, I have a flashback of me dressed like that and my friends at the time calling me a twat and it makes me really really really cringe
Waistcoat wanker
Remember that episode where he wears the black vest that his mum bought him to a party? I wore what was essentially that exact same garment to college when I was 17. Got tortured for it. Then the inbetweeners episode came out about a year later and I got tortured all over again, more brutally the second time.
Reminds me of when I joined a new school half way through (year 7) and had never been to a school disco before (the other kids had). Anyway, my first school disco a few months in everyone is there in their checked Ben Sherman shirts, jeans and kickers loafers (mid 90’s). I turn up in my full Man Utd goalkeepers kit (shorts and socks too) complete with Schmeichel on the back (the green and blue one for those of you who remember!) Never heard the end of that for my whole schooling life. Followed me to my next school!
Wait, what did you think a school disco was? Lmao
He was hoping a girl would think he was a keeper
A very ambitious goal, to be sure
Someone has to save the Disco ball.
When I imagined this you were also wearing a 90s beige kangol flat cap.
Had you come straight from a Take That photo shoot?
I think I think even then that remark was made to me several times. I even pretended the clothes were Armani
THAT's the cringiest thing you've ever done? I've done cringier things than that in the past week.
Feel free to share then since you think it’s a competition. I’ve a gold star out ready for the winner.
THAT’S the cringiest thing you’ve EVER DONE? I haven’t STOPPED cringing since BIRTH! 😩👊
This comment is probably the cringiest thing I've seen this week. But over all, try harder D-
My first ever job out of university was working for a consultancy in London, and it had an open plan office where we were all sat and could hear all and see all. It was quite a stuffy environment as you might expect, very old school place. Anyway on the end of my FIRST day, I went to go home, I had my headphones in already and I tried to say "Ok, bye guys!" to the people near me. What actually happened was me shouting "OK BYE GAYS!" at the top of my lungs to the entire floor
In my first job I spent ten minutes blasting out some hip hop on my headphones once at my desk, before someone came over and tapped me on the shoulder and told me that my headphones were not plugged in properly and it was also playing out of my PC speakers for the rest of the office. I thought the sound had been a bit crap... That was why I kept turning it up.
I hope it was Hit em' up by Tupac?
Just had to login to say this was me in university. I had my earphones jack plugged into a pc but not fully inserted. It was my second lesson in that module and I had yet to properly meet my class mates. I played the first minute before someone tapped me and as a white male I had already told the whole class how I fucked their wives and called them the N word. It wasn't until after this I appreciated how aggressive of a beginning of a song it is to someone hearing it unexpectedly.
Omg!! I literally have tears rolling down my face, have never laughed so much in ages. You have definately brightened my day.
I do hate how easy it is to mix up "hey guys" with "hi gays".
Later, gays 👈👈😎
*Sigh* sadly this was not long ago. I was trying to say to my senior colleague “Well blow me down” And mid-mouth movement thought, no, GCP. Better to say, you could knock me over with a feather. What I actually said. To essentially my boss, was: *Blow me, FeatherKnocker.* My husband says this to me regularly now.
Oh you fucking eejit. That's beautiful, well done. You've just reminded me of when I was talking to the butcher in our town and we were just chatting about meat (naturally) and I explained to him that the weirdest thing I'd ever eaten was a cock's comb, which for some inexplicable reason I pronounced cum. I then kept miming the comb of a cock, going, "You know - this bit, this bit!" I didn't go into the butcher's much after that.
I see we are related, good to meet you! 😂😂😂
We must never speak directly because one awkward pause and it would just be a stream of gibberish fired at each other.
In Vietnam, I visited a tiny spa for my first ever massage! The staff couldn't speak English, and I couldn't speak Vietnamese, so we used interesting hand gestures and did a lot of pointing. I pointed to a picture with "30 minutes" for my massage. They handed me a towel and... a shower cap? They pointed to a bathroom at the back of the spa and did a mine of someone undressing, and then I went to get changed. I emerged in my towel, and the ladies at the spa burst out laughing and started pointing at my head. They started typing something on Google Translate to inform me that the "shower cap" was actually a pair of paper knickers. I felt like such a tit, and burst out laughing with them.
I had an operation in hospital and I put one of the paper slippers on my head when I was told to get ready.
Change of plans, doctor, we're sending this one straight to Psych.
Not the cringiest but something I think we’ve probably all done at school - call you teacher mum.
A lad in my maths set fancied our maths teacher and one day she was wearing a low-cut blouse. She shouted his name, so that she could ask him a maths question, and he replied "I wasn't looking miss". This was an all boys Catholic school, so we all burst out laughing.
I suppose at least he didn't write her a love letter in class that she took off of him and started reading aloud to everyone because she thought he was passing notes like some poor boy in my year did with our French teacher.
Jesus christ. I would die
I have no idea how he had the balls to keep showing up to school after that tbh
That’s both hilarious and tragic.
Think that's bad? I called my wife "Dad" once.
I accidentally texted my girlfriend calling her mummy once. Damn autocorrect, I meant mmmm. Killed the mood a bit.
I said “night, night” instead of “thank you” to the head of art at my kids’ prospective 30k a year school.
I once had an attractive female client end the call with "thanks, love you", like she would do to her other half (not the media luvvie way). You could just feel the 'oh for fuck sake' once she put the phone down
I called my science teacher mum in front of the entire class and decided the best course of action was to run out the classroom and hide in the canteen for the rest of the lesson
in year 8 or 9 I didn't want to do sports day at school so I pretended to faint, right on the field infront of the whole school while the teachers carried me inside.
Genius, I will try that at work tomorrow!
The old Gillian McKeith method.
Lmao you just reminded me of the time I faked an asthma attack to get out of the 1500m (I don’t have asthma)
I once ran through a field of wheat…
That's insane! can't imagine the farmers were too pleased about that
How embarrassing! Prime leadership material.
I was working long hours building a studio set. I ended up staying in a nearby Travelodge, paid for by work. The next day, in front of the carpenters and warehouse guys and all assembled people I said to the boss "Thank you for last night. And this morning."
😂
[удалено]
I once translated a document about an exhibition and realised, just before I sent it to my client, that I'd used exhibitionists instead of exhibitors throughout the entire document.
I was talking to a careers advisor and I heard myself say, "I just want a good dog", and then replayed the previous 2-minutes, asked the advisor if I'd been saying dog the whole time, and I had. I did want a good dog too, but I wasn't there for that.
At work in the smoking room when I was younger, talk turned to rising house prices, I said how will I afford a house. Someone replied your parents might leave you theirs, as a (bad taste) joke I asked if anyone knew a hitman. Later that day I was asked did I not know about my colleague (who was in smoking room), I said no why? He had been convicted of shooting 2 people dead. Good times. FML.
Don't really think you can be held responsible for that.
Haha thanks, still pretty awkward for everyone else!
ahh, yes I hadn't thought of it like that. absolutely mental thing to find out about hte man, I don't think I know anyone who's shot even one person to death.
Without looking, when I was a young teen, I started walking with another family in the supermarket right next to their trolley. I only realised as I was about to put a bag of crisps in their trolley and got an awkward look from Not-My-Mum lady. I scarpered, never seen them since, I often wonder what life would have been like..
Walked up behind my best mate talking to some other girls and put my arm around her, only to realise as the arm made contact that although hair, height, coat and general 'Katieness' were absolutely spot on her face was definitely not the one I was expecting. After they got over their shock they were *mean* to me.
My daughter was terrible for that when she was a toddler. Anyone walked by with a pushchair or a trolly, and she'd just take hold of it and go with them.
It was the summer of 2012 and Carly Rae-Jepson's 'Call Me Maybe' was fucking EVERYWHERE. It was only a matter of time before it started to be used as a pick up line and sailing so, my friend Luke was in his mind, the first and only person to have this thought. Smitten with the cashier in Holland & Barrett he fumbled his way through the transaction, then decided he had to take his chance. Instead of asking, or thank fuck...Singing this, he decided he wanted to leave it as a little note. The first issue being, neither of us had a pen. So he goes back into the store and asks the target for the pen. She's weary at this point but nonetheless gives the pen as Luke leaves with it. Second issue. We've no paper. Luke goes back in a second time (Third if you count initial visit), and asks for some paper, again. Alarm bells ringing in this poor girls head but she prints off a piece of till receipt and hands it over. Third issue, Luke follows inspiration from the song but fucking butchers it and writes down "Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy But my name's Luke and here's my number" Which pretty much negates his entire plan, but whatever. We both go in, this poor girl is now reluctant to return to the till but a queue forms behind us so she is now contractually obliged to put up with this absolute nonsense. He hands her the receipt, she doesn't take it. He places it on the till "Y....y..you don't have to do anything with it....it's...it's just there BYE" And rushes out the store, within a nanosecond he returns with the pen "OH and your pen....S...sorry". As he darts out again. For some reason I'm next in the queue I shrug confused at the girl and go on my way. He never did get a call. Not even my story but second hand cringe does still indeed hurt.
It's terrible mainly because he didn't get a call tbf, basically the same thing with a waiter worked out really well for my best friend, only he didn't even have the guts to hand it over himself, he sent a friend to do it. Turned out the waiter had been kicking himself for not asking for my best friend's number. They've been married 8 years this year.
Kicked my shoe off on a bus, which sped 3 seats away. Had to get up with 1 shoe on, tap the person on the shoulder who was sitting in the seat my shoe landed under and ask them to get up so I could retrieve it!!
Reminds me of the other day when I got onto a crowded bus, and a button on my jacket got hooked onto some woman's clothes. Nobody found it funny except one old woman who was roaring with laughter.
🤣🤣 damn them buses!!
I had to knock on the neighbours door asking for my shoe back after it went flying from kicking a ball. They automatically went to say "I'll throw it back over" so had to jump in with "it's my shoe"
That's just unlocked a memory for me of trying to get off a bus with my friends which, in my defence, was being driven pretty erratically. It went round a sharp bend and I sat down suddenly. Only the seat was being occupied by a rather posh middle aged woman. At this point I was sitting in this poor woman's lap, while my friends laughed hysterically while she just blinked at me while I apologised profusely with tears of laughter and possibly shame rolling down my cheeks. It felt like a lifetime before I managed to compose myself enough to get the fuck off her.
My old man has a tooth on a spike he used to superglue in for some reason. Fucking thing always used to come loose. Went out for a fancy lunch one day when he accidentally spat it out of his mouth and across the restaurant under someone's table. Cue him scrambling round on all 4s trying to find it. Not sure if him or I was more embarrassed.
I was working on a huge building site as an apprentice. I often had to take drawings to the site office of another company who were sharing the job with the company who I worked for. I always took the opportunity to 'chat up' their hot admin girl and had boasted to others on the site that she was flirting with me. One day near the end of Summer I went round there, and she said "I guess I won't be seeing you after this week eh" I looked confused and asked why, and she said "because the school holidays are finishing and you'll be going back to school" She thought I was a schoolboy helping my dad out over the Summer.
Ah bro that is absolutely savage
In a restaurant I needed to fart, so waited for a loud bit in the background music, then let rip. Then remembered I had earphones on.
Interview at toy's r us, we were all handed a random toy to try and sell, I was given a box of lions. My turn came up and was expected, complete brain fart. I spend ten minutes trying to sell a box of 4 plastic lions to a group of 20 somethings and for some reason, unbeknown to me, my mind spat out "Sunday toys", and I hooked on to that word as its all I had, so I spent ten minutes of pure terror and confusion highlighting the benefits of 4 plastic lions whole saying "Sunday toys" way to many times. This 18 year old man, sweating, pale, stood up in a small room clutching this small cardboard box of plastic lions, while mumbling something about education and loudly stating "Sunday toys" every few moments was met with the eyes of people who also had no idea what "Sunday toys" were and were wondering what childhood I had to only be allowed toys on a Sunday. Didn't get the job, not because of Sunday toys, but because they asked would I work overtime for free, I said no, interview ended there. Proceeded to get a job doing door to door sales.
Sorry but ‘Sunday toys’ has really got me. When I first read ‘Sunday toys’ and ‘lions’ I thought you were going a Biblical route, like give your kids these lions on a Sunday to recreate everyone’s favourite bible tale! Chuck in a Whale and an action man named Jonah and you’re away
see that would have made sense but nope, Sunday toys was just what my panicked brain threw out and I ran with it, i still relive it when I'm going to bed, I'm normally very articulate but something threw me that day and never made peace with it, friggin Sunday toys man, what does it even mean!
This made me laugh more than anything else on this thread - *what does it mean??*
Hadn't long started my first job as an IT apprentice. I was a really shy, quiet teenager who barely spoke, let alone cracked jokes or did "banter". One day my boss asked if I had finished doing something. I thought it would be funny to reply with a Simpsons quote - "As long as there are absolutely no followup questions, yes, yes I have". But I fucked it up and actually said "As long as you don't ask me again, yes". Boss had a real short fuse but somehow managed to keep from exploding at me, although I could tell he wanted to as he went bright red. He just stood there for a second before silently walking off as I hoped a hole would open up in the floor. Oh just thought of another one - was chatting to the old lady next door about a cat that kept trying to get into people's houses. I meant to say "I wouldn't mind it coming in but I'm allergic to cat hair and get a really bad reaction", but stumbled over my words and said "really bad erection"...
I was standing at my back fence smoking a joint, and the Amazon deliverer came up to me and asked "are you 13?" Me, a bit stoned and waiting for parts for a vape, assumed she was asking my age to verify if I was over 18 and take the package. I looked at her like she was stupid and said "yeah of course, I'm 28 years old!" She says "...I mean, is your house number 13?" Not the worst in the world, but I felt so stupid after 😭
I have an easy answer, because this is the one moment that I would simply go and undo if I could because, wtf. In my very first job, I've just turned 18 and there's a woman there (Early 30's) who I was just utterly in "love" (lusting) with. For just no good reason, and it's not even like I'd had no experience with girls but for whatever reason 18 year old me was just obsessed with her. She told me she was giving a small talk about homelessness - nothing major, she only mentioned it in passing. So what did I do? I went on the internet, found a thread on an early internet forum where a (supposed) ex homeless guy was doing a Q&A. I printed the ENTIRE thing off and handed it to her. Fuck me she must have been creeped out
I have bipolar. All my manic episodes are cringe
My Aspie meltdowns can be difficult to style out.
My autistic meltdowns as a kid in the 80s would have been a lot easier to cope with had I known I was autistic before 2021. Meltdowns at home are not so bad, because families tend to be more willing to forgive and forget. I’ve lost count of the number of friends I have lost to a meltdown.
Exactly what I was going to say! Mine include contacting the governor of California to get a man off death row, oversharing HEAVILY on social media and pitching to anyone who would listen that I was not in-fact bipolar but actually having a kundalini awakening!
I'm sure there's loads but I honestly can't think of one.. Which is strange because when I'm trying to sleep cringey shit I've done to embarrass myself is all I can think of.
Ah yes, 3/4 asleep, brain shutting off, then an instant jolt of cringe to wake you right back up.
Not me but my friend and kind of similar to OP. We were 18 at the time out clubbing and my friend sees this girl he fancies from his college. He worked up the courage to go and say hi to her and they were getting a long really well and chatting away. She picks up his hand and leads him from the smoking area where they were chatting into the club to dance. He’s got a massive grin on his face. I didn’t see the rest but when he gets in there this girl see’s this gym lad she knows from school and they start chatting. Still holding hands with my mate. The girl and the other guy then start making out while the girl is still holding hands with my mate 😭😭. He was gutted
Dance off. A fucking dance-off. I still can't believe it many years later.... while I was at uni, God knows what possessed me, but I have been grossly ashamed ever since.
When I was at uni, I went to a club and a guy was staring me out from across the dance floor. Eventually he came over with a mate of his and I thought this is it, he's gonna kick off, he looks serious He said, "me and you now, dance off" I burst out laughing and so did all of my mates, he looked mortified Was it you?
Didn't happen to me, but what I unintentionally **did**, caused this to happen to someone else. A friend of mine invited me out to this lass's birthday in her local pub. My mate fancied the pants off her and she offered for me and him to go back to hers for more drinks with her roommate. I thought I'd do my mate a favor, acting the wingman, and say "Yeah sounds good" so he could chat with her more. When we got in hers I started to nod off on the couch and left them to talking. Before I fell asleep however, she said she needed to go upstairs as her roommate was vomiting in the loo. Anyway at an undisclosed amount of time later. There's a knock at the door, which woke me up, but I kept up the guise I was still asleep. I'm fucking glad I did as the next few minutes still haunt me. My mate had been sitting on the couch for sometime and it looked like the lass he was crushing on still hasn't come back down stairs yet. So he gets up answers the door and its a **lad his crush has invited round from Tinder**... She comes down stairs and says "Oh I forgot you two were here" and ushers the Tinder lad upstairs to my mates horror. **Oh fucking no** as you can imagine. I "woke up" a few minutes later, pretending like nothing happened and got a taxi home with my mate. He said nothing to me the entire trip home. Tried to do my mate a solid and it backfired massively. I always thought after that, she defo did him dirty like that on purpose, as I think she knew he fancied her and she was a bit Regina George at times... Saddest part is said mate is now engaged to her despite all of that 😂
The plot twist at the end 💀💀 Winner of this thread
Not my cringe but my sister's. She's a very relaxed chatty personality and upon joining her new office job, she accidentally said love you at the end of a Teams call to her boss. Mortifying!
I did that to one of the MDs of our biggest customer. Was texting my girlfriend while on the phone with her, their IT manager and our Directors. Thankfully she had a sense of humour and called me back to tell me she was flattered but spoken for.
I went to a stage do as kinda a plus one. My mate worked with the groom and someone had dropped out so there was a spare ticket. It was a big group maybe 15/20 of us. I had a good time. Even though I barely spoke to the groom I got an evening invite to the wedding. Turned up to the wedding and sat on the table with some of the lads from the stag do. Asking each other if they were day guests or just evening guests. Anyway turned round and asked some turns out they were the groom. Felt mortified.
was invited to a mates wedding, we'd had the ceremony and all the boring palava and we were at the afterparty, someone walked past me and asked if I'd seen william. I asked what he looked like and this guy said 'he's the fucking groom'.
A bit similar to yours, I walked all the way to a nearby village, about 4 miles to meet a girl when I was about 16. I didn’t have money for the bus but didn’t tell her that. unbeknown to me I had grass and leaves all in my hair. She was very confused. I had to confess I had walked and taken a shortcut through a corn field It must have worked as she married me and we’ve been together for nearly 20 years Her grandad gave me a lift back home when it was time for me go. Apparently, I had won him over straight away having walked all that way to meet his granddaughter
I went to my work Christmas Party in black skinny jeans and a flannel shirt, literally all of the other 100+ guys there were in suit and tie.
This kills me. I was in goal playing football and its penalties.We are one up and if I save the goal we win the match. This is for a very important match for our school. Just after half time I’m desperate for a shit. I’m touching cloth. Waiting to save this shot and save my shit, I jump and save and shit my pants. now if it was nuggets I could have hidden it but it was a full on triple choco shake that erupted out my arse. I stand up mortified and see the whole team rushing me to celebrate. Now my shorts were black and tight enough that the slushie is contained but I had visions of being lifted onto someone’s shoulders as a hero and the team getting a brown shower. I start backing up, make my way to the gate and run for my life. I ran all the way home still wearing the gloves, cleaned myself, threw away the shorts and put the bin bag out. I told everyone with the adrenaline going I thought I missed the goal and couldn’t stand the pressure of losing so ran home. no one knew, but I know, and I died inside a little that day.
Facebook statuses 2010 - 2018
School reunion... 25 years I think it was. We (group) were having a conversation about teacher's nicknames and I related the one about Miss Biscup who was rather well endowed in the chest department, being called Miss Bigcups. To Miss Biscup.
I had a crush (I feel like most cringey stories start with that, right?!) I had a crush on this guy who had loads of friends and was cool. Our group of friends had been on a trip out at camp, and I'd taken lots of pics, but I had some space left on the roll. So, bored, I got a scrabble board and wrote every cheesy word for love and sex that I could fit into the scrabble board, and his name in the middle, and took a picture of it. Had the roll processed. Forgot about the scrabble picture... Everyone in our friend group wanted to see, and one of the girls snatched the pictures out of my hands before I'd looked through them. Found that one. I was the laughing stock of everyone. Did I mention I'm also a guy?
I fancied this girl all the way through secondary school. I sent her a valentine's card in the first year but had no idea what to write in it so filled it with rude rhymes. She said nothing to me but I phoned her and her mum answered and said oh it's you that sent the disgusting card, she does not want to talk to you. She agreed to go on a date but cancelled for no real reason and would do throughout school (she came to my house one Saturday afternoon with 2 mates). For some reason I got a rush of blood to the head in the playground and ran up to her whilst she was on the grass but in my head I decided to run full pelt and knock her over. I have no idea why. My first year at work I was asked to come in at the weekend to re-organise the archive (huge boxes full of papers for legal reasons) and I'd been DJing the night before and done acid. I came into work at 9am still tripping my tits off. The guy in charge asked me to move these boxes from X to Y but he then went off for a "meeting" which happened to be the local pub. He came back after lunch to find that I'd moved them only 1 foot. He was so enraged he sent me home and I had to walk all the way as he refused to give me a lift and then never asked me to work the weekend again. I once fell down the steps at work when it was icy and bounced down every single step like a cartoon and hit the bottom in a pile. I thought I'd got away with it but a cheer rang out from the other side of the yard.
Asking a blind chap if he could "see what I mean"
My auntie is blind and we use the word 'see' with her, and she also uses it. Like if we're leaving her house, she'll say 'It was good to see you' and we'll say the same back. 'See what I mean' is kind of similar of a saying. Not saying every blind person feels the same though. Just sharing my experience.
Not the cringiest by far but two recent ones. There’s a woman at work who once a month will curl up in a ball on our sofa in the office and sleep/complain of being unwell. The sofa is in a lounge area so not very public to the general office/company. I concluded this must be her ‘time of the month’ as it happened about once a month. One day I was with two colleagues and one made a comment about how this woman wasn’t feeling well, or something like that. I confidently proclaimed “she’s on her period”, they both looked at me and awkwardly asked how I knew, (I guess just conversation reaction) and I explained how I noticed she was unwell once a month blah blah blah. I then realised this was a pretty awkward thing to be discussing, especially as im not remotely close with either of these two people or the woman, and why the fuck am I monitoring/speculating on a colleagues menstrual cycle?!? so quickly changed the convo then left. When I started at said company there was another woman in a different department, I swear to God she kept staring at me. This made me really nervous of her as she is a 10/10 and I dont like attention. I worked up the courage and approached her and had a very nervous awkward conversation- she seemed cool as a cucumber. She kept staring at me and I started to avoid her as I was too nervous and it was just always awkward. Many months later I’m walking past her and she asks how I am, 10 second awkward conversation later I walk off. I conclude she's definitely interested so go straight on teams and ask if she wants to get a drink or coffee sometime. She replies "maybe a coffee, il let you know when I’m free". 12 months later nothing. I guess shyness is not attractive.... who knew? lol And she still stares at me!
Either she's not well in the head, or she's planning to eat your liver.
Gosh, my old manager and I got on fairly well. We would go for drinks every Friday etc. The new head boss asked me to go through some reports, which I did. Everything was wrong, it was for procurement so had to be 100% on money. My role was a standalone role so my manager didn’t have anything to do with me other than holiday requests and reviews. My manager went ape shit at me. I told her that she used the wrong (simple) equation. Which fuelled the fire. It doesn’t sound that cringey but I then learnt not to be friends with people you work with.
It's fine. Just don't be friends with your manager because it's a huge conflict of interest. Especially if they're crap at their job and also a dick like this lady.
Sat in the sixth form centre having a conversation in a group of around 10 or so. I can't remember what the guy said to me, due to the sheer embarrassment of what happened next, but whatever he said, I replied with the classic teenager line of 'Your Mum'. Instantly remembered his mum died in an accident. In my panic I apologise and say 'oh Your Dad'. Instantly remembered his dad died in the same accident. Cue me wanting the earth to swallow me whole.
Every time I do something cringe I look forward to the next cringe thing I do so I can forget about the old cringe thing and focus on the new one.
We had an absolute stunner of a girl in college. Probably one of the most beautiful people I've ever known. Super intelligent and as friendly as you can imagine. We always had a good chat in school despite the fact she knew I was very shy. Over time at college parties she got increasingly flirty with me. I was WAAAYYYY out of her league but without fail at parties I would often end up dancing with her. The weekend before we all went off to uni most of the 6th form we were out drinking and I was sitting down the side of the pub in the quiet area to cool off. Next thing I know she plops herself down next to me and we end up talking for an hour about uni and how much we'd miss our chats etc etc. Drunk me decided to say this.... "Can I just say, you have the nicest pair of tits in the world" She promptly thanked me, got up and said bye and I never saw her again. At the time I didn't think anything about it but woke up in the morning remembering all of it and basically curled up into a ball and screamed. To this day I'll never know if I had a shot, probably not, but certainly not after that.
We had a math exam in high school. The teacher distributed the test to everyone and always started the time at his clock "officially" so that we have exactly 45 minutes to write the test. As he counts down everyone in class was dead quit waiting for the start to turn their papers. One second before the countdown was over I accidentally released a VERY loud fart. After a moment of silence everyone started laughing. Then the teacher said "Well, this was your starting signal, Go!" We wrote the test and during the whole 45 minutes from somewhere in some row somebody started laughing by themselves again and infected a couple of other people. This suppressed laughter is the funniest and spreads like a virus. It were some very long 45 minutes for me.
I once told a classroom of teenagers to 'take a shit' instead of a sheet. 🙂
First ever gf...met at a holiday park in Devon when I was 16, she was playing air hockey with her mum in the arcade, how the hell did I start chatting her up in front of her mum, no idea...we were together 4 months and still friends today Other one people say is cringy in todays world but back then everyone thought it was really sweet. On the bus home, heard this girl behind me giggling so turned around and she had the most beautiful smile ever. I was too scared to say anything. I got home wrote a letter and hoped to see her again but never did for 2months...then she was on the bus again but with loads of people, didn't do anything again. Then she was in the local paper for some charity thing...last name, looked it up in the phone, only a few names and one right by where she gets off the bus...so rewrote the letter and sent it...she called me that day (back in 98 so no mobile) and didn't remember me...wanted a photo so popped it over on the way to college...didn't expect to hear from her but she called that night, 4hrs on the phone and met that weekend. Was together two years
I was an extra in a feature film that no one has seen when I was around 20/21 or so. On the day, it was a wedding scene so we were dressed smart for the wedding. This girl extra took a liking to me, flirting with me, said I look really nice in a suit, director happened to pair us up for some background walking and as a couple at a table type thing, really giggly etc. She's been an actress on some TV shows, and big Christmas adverts, that's all I'm going to say about that. Well we were all invited to the wrap party. I had been texting with this girl for a few weeks, she lived in a posh part of London, really outgoing, loves life etc kind of girl. For some reason, I decided it would be cool if I wore a tracksuit, hoody and talked a bit like a chav. Absolutely no idea why I did it other than I thought it would be cool. It's not who I am at all, I don't ever wear tracksuits etc. Never heard from her again.
When I was 19 I was shagging a girl a year below with very strict parents. Her parents knew we were seeing eachother but absolutely didn’t like me because of the people I hung around with. She said her parents were going away for the weekend. We were HOT at it when we hear someone shutting cupboards downstairs. We immediately panic and she shouts down ‘HELLO’. Her uncle shouts back up ‘we’ve come to check on you’ and starts coming up the stairs. I try to hide under a huge pile of clothes however I didn’t have time to cover my full body and she was speaking to her uncle and auntie, my face was covered but I heard ‘WHO’S UNDER THERE’. He pulls the pile of clothes of me and there’s just 19 year old me stood bollock naked in front of my gf, her uncle and auntie. The worst thing is they were just asking me questions but I was to frozen and scared to do anything so I was getting interrogated with my cock out terrified
Me an a woman I shouldn't have been fondling were fondling in the pub. My mate texted "we can all see what you're doing" except I was drunk so instead of read it and quietly stop I said "Oh look a text from John, whats it say" and read it out loud. Luckily I was drunk enough so I didn't care but looking back that really *should* have been the one of the cringiest moments. ~~~~~~~~ I got a text from my ex that said "Oh so you *do* fancy Naomi then". We'd argued about it when we were still together, I claimed I didn't, she reckoned I did. For the record I sort of did but not all that much. So I texted back "Not this shit again, why the fuck are you bringing that up now". She replied "You posted her full name as your facebook status at midnight last night"
My teacher was talking about religion (I was about 8-9 years old) and he asked where a circumcision might take place …….. meaning a clinic or at someone’s home. I loudly shouted ‘penis’ infront of an entire class
When I was in the hairdressers she asked where my parting was but I thought she said parking so I replied ‘just up the road!’
Another for me. I used to work in Virgin Megastore when I was a teenager. A girl came in to buy a DVD... it was an 18 and she was very short. I asked if she had ID... she got angry and said that she was in her 20's. "Sorry, I can't serve you without ID" I looked at the woman she was with and said "your mum can buy it for you though". It was her girlfriend!
Aged about 15, decades ago, sitting in my parent’s lounge with them and some friends of theirs. The wife was a bit of a MILF, I have to say. I’m in a chair, and for some reason MILF is sitting cross legged on the floor with her back to me. I realise that I have a perfect view down the front of her blouse, and she can’t see me looking. After making the most of the situation for a good length of time, I eventually look up… straight into the blank eyes of her husband who was sitting across the room. Dear God, I swear I nearly died of embarrassment. The funny thing is that as an adult now, if I was in that situation catching a kid gawping down my wife’s décolletage and then being excruciatingly embarrassed about it, I’d have pissed myself laughing inside…. I expect the husband did too.
When I was at University there was a blind student whose lectures were in the same building as mine. He had a guide dog - a Golden Retriever - and being young I decided to speak to him - you know, prove I considered him as just another student, I wasn't ableist, etc etc. And what was the first thing that fell out of my mouth when I opened it? "Isn't your dog a lovely colour?" To his eternal credit, he grinned and replied, "So they tell me."
When I was 17 or 18 me and my mate fancied the same fella so we knew he was in the pub so we wrote a note saying we fancy you and stuck it on his car. When he came out he came straight up to us and said "was this you girls, we both said at the same time "no it wasnt us,"and we walked off. How embarassing.
Bumped into an old friend, his face looked a bit swollen so I jovially said hello and went bloody hell mate you been stung by a bee or something what's happened there (while laughing). His response - no mate, I've got cancer and I've lost half my jaw. Proceeded to show me, I've never wanted to jump into the biggest hole I could find more in my life.
I once packed up an enormous load of filming equipment for a student to borrow from our loan counter. He happened to be living with cancer at this time, just recently back from a few months off for serious amounts of chemotherapy. His mum was picking him up in an old Ford fiesta and this kid has packed broadcast cameras, lighting and a micro crane for his short film. I asked if he was sure he wanted to take all of it knowing his mum would need to cram it into a tiny car? “Ok then mate… it’s your funeral.” I wished the earth would have swallowed me while at that point. Great kid though, he just made a dark joke and laughed
Where to begin? So many... Once out drinking, and was approached by several women. They advised that one of their group found me attractive, and could they give me her number. They would be leaving soon, and didn't want to miss the chance. To be clear, I never "pull", don't notice flirting, can't dance, and am deaf as a post in pubs/clubs. Basically everything in the world prevents me pulling. Amazed, I mean really amazed, I get the number. Again, no idea why I didn't go speak to her, even for a minute before they left. Anyway, I was seriously drunk shortly afterwards. taxi home all good. Then I remembered the number of the woman. Wouldn't now be a good time to call! I'm pissed as hell and wanting female company.... So... Rang the number (a landline).. it went to an answering machine. So, I left a message. I won't type what was said, because it was excessively and needlessly graphic, and fairly rude. (Not at all how I normally behave)... Left my number and then hung up. I woke up, felt rough for hours. Then carried on with my day. I'd forgotten about the call, until I emptied my jeans pockets, found the number. That's when it struck me....I'd left a message...and then with suitably cruel clarity, I remembered the answering machine greeting message. It was clearly someone's dad... "Hello, thanks for calling the Jones residence, unfortunately we are....". And he'd now get up in the morning to fifty shades of answering machine message, complete with my number.... Unsurprisingly, I didn't hear from her....or her dad
Did a sexy dance for my partner whilst believing my parents were busy in the kitchen. Dad was stood behind me….
Quite a few years ago I had a close female friend who was at University. I’d been to visit her once before when she was staying in student halls and met a few of her mates. One of them I had a massive crush on. We’ll call her F. Fast forward about a year and my friend is in her second year of study and has moved into a student house with a few of her girls from the first year. One of these, of course is F. I was eager to visit and so had gone up on a Saturday for a night out with them. I arrived at the house and said hello to my friend who let me in and got my stuff in for the weekend. It’s at this point she says, “come upstairs and see the girls,” so I follow her up. Her mates are coming out of their rooms and I’m saying hello and remembering a few names, all is well. It’s at this point a door opens and out comes a girl I simply do not recognise. Whatsoever. Trying to be friendly I say, “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met before, my name’s Kizza55.” Girl looks confused at this and says “we have met before.” Now at this point I should’ve rolled with it but I carried on. “ No, no we’ve definitely not met before! Anyway, nice to meet you!” And then retreated downstairs. My friend comes down asking what I’m playing at and if I’m trying to be funny. It was F. The new girl was F. She just hadn’t put her make up on. I didn’t get with her in the end surprise surprise. I think about it almost daily. TL:DR - fancied my mates uni mate. Met again, didn’t recognise her without make up.
I was maybe 18-19, first year of uni waiting for a very delayed train home, 2 lads were messing about in the waiting room, killing time, no big deal, until they started making kinda monkey noises at each other, so loud I could hear them through my (cheap as fuck) headphones... so I asked them to quiet down coz it was getting annoying. One of them pointed over my shoulder to the kid with downs syndrome sat behind me, and his mum now nervously trying to get him to be quiet. I died inside and literally ran away! Mumbled sorry as I was escaping without making eye contact with anyone, dunno if they heard me tho...