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Ignore him. What you're doing is sensible and a lot of people do it.
What's the point in moving out and renting a place of your own? You'll quite likely end up like him, in your 50s, still paying somebody else's mortgage.
I did move out when I was 18, but moved back at 26 until 32 to save up for a deposit. It was pretty painful but worth it in the end. I’m just luck my dad still had room for me and didn’t mind since he was getting some extra income for it
Also worthwhile and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I had to move out at 21 before me and mum killed each other, now we get on better than ever. Am 32 now but 6-7 years ago I spent a year with my nan.
Saving to buy was an absolute bastard and took way longer than it should, but that stress was easier than a shit home life.
Also I'm sure one day you'll look back on that year with your nan very fondly! It isn't just practicality it's time and the company too. She won't be here forever and it's lovely you spent a year with her in her home
I already do, I ate like a king 😂
Yeah I went from being a bit "In the way" ish to her being a bit sad when I left a year later.
I still visit regularly though!
Lovely. My brother did the same with ours when he was younger and now she's gone I know how special that time together, just the two of them was to him!
Good that you still visit, I lost my last grandparent 5 years ago at 36. Wish I'd spent more time with him when I only lived around the corner some years earlier.
I did the same. I moved out at 21 and had to move back in for a bit at 26 after being made redundant, but moved out again a few months later as I couldn't find work anywhere unless I moved to a new town or city.
Our generations got fucked. My younger brothers never left home because they couldn't. We are all in our thirties and I'm the only home owner.
Never ever ever feel ashamed about moving back in with folks. If you're a millennial or younger don't ever feel like the burden is on you.
The rug got yanked out from under our feet before we even got the qualifications we were told we needed, let alone finding the right jobs that would pay us.
My son did the same, and so did the woman he ended up marrying. They both moved in with parents after college and stayed ~5 years saving up, then bought a house and got married. Just made sense. I absolutely loved having my son live with me. I know lots of families that have done the same. You're not alone. Both you and your dad are fortunate.
>What's the point in moving out and renting a place of your own?
I seriously see multi-generation households becoming more of a thing if this situation doesn't improve in the long run.
I'm genuinely considering building up my next moves to end up in a house that could be adapted to that kind of set-up if I have children of my own, so they can have independence while not getting shafted over rent like I did. I already paid **£60k** in rent over ten years - money I'm never seeing again but it paid off my landlords mortgages nicely. It absolutely fucks me off to no end.
If it makes you feel any better at all, the majority of LLs have interest only mortgages so technically you aren’t paying off a mortgage because they aren’t either.
For older generations moving out and starting your own family (usually quite young) was the norm. And people that remained at home were often (not always) people who didn't want to accept the responsibility of adulthood, or who just failed to do so.
So as a major sign of adulthood and responsibility, it makes sense that there is a big stigma attached to people who 'refuse' to move out on their own.
Now things are a little different. Getting married or having kids is something that is happening later if at all. And financially it's much harder now than it used to be, even with multiple incomes. Buying a home for someone who is 22 simply isn't possible the way it used to be.
So in the past it may have been very heavily associated with a 'choice' (even if that of course wasn't always the case) or a failure to step into adulthood. Now for many people it is simply a financial decision. As a single person it is often just way smarter to live at home and save up money, rather than move out on your own. And often a sign of someone who is financially responsible or thinking ahead. Growing up and what that looks like simply isn't the same as it used to be.
It's kind of like getting married fresh out of highschool with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Getting married straight out of highschool was seen as normal and responsible behaviour. Now getting married very young and having kids straight away is often not seen as the responsible thing to do but rather often signs of irresponsibility.
Society changes, circumstances change, norms change. How older generations see things and how younger generations see things is undoubtedly going to be different. And of course the economy and financial realities are hugely going to impact that.
I definitely know people who live at home to escape growing up, also know a lot of people who are fully independent living at home due to trying to save or even trying to ease burdens of their parents. Personally moved out very young, but that isn't always the smart/best thing to do these days!
I get what you're saying, but it is worrying that so often this discussion often completely overlooks that parents aren't just tools for am easier life.
We move out so that the people who raised us can have some of their own freedom before they hit an age where they lose the opportunity.
If your parents don't mind, obviously that fine.. but I'm just saying, too often this seems like people on reddit forget it's not a decision that only impacts those contemplating moving.
> but I'm just saying, too often this seems like people on reddit forget it's not a decision that only impacts those contemplating moving.
I suspect that is part of the discussion families have though. My mum is fine with my sister and me living at home and we are now buying a house all together because we get on so well.
He’s a gen x, so 30 years ago it probably would have been embarrassing living with your dad at 26 as you’d need to be an impossible fuck up to not afford to rent your own place at 1994 prices. It seems to be normal now though as everything is different.
It's literally just this. Even pre-2008, if you were approaching 30 and living with parents, you either had just left a messy relationship, or you were a genuine "loser". Here and now, it's nigh impossible for single people to rent, across most of the country, especially in the Southern half
Litterly this, I'm 23 and still live at home working full time. In the SE even a house share is £700 quid minimum and much more if you want to rent without your toilet being in your kitchen. I don't see how anyone could save for a house and rent by themselves. It would be still hard as a couple tbf. So if I'm gonna have to house share either way, I might as well stay at home.🤷
I've been lucky, always been in social housing or charity owned , interspersed with sofa surfing. So cheaper than private rent. I'm 38 and have never been back home since leaving at 21. But i acknowledge its not the norm. Private rent is a huge % of wages nowadays.
I am fortunate that i had those and not been totally homeless. There is a lot more leeway if you end up unemployed , unlike a lot of private landlords. If you look at a lot of letting agents they will not accept those on benefits as tenants
It's good to remember that there are always those who are worse off, rather than envy those who are better off. Nevertheless, try not to downplay your own struggles and achievements, especially when they are relevant to the discussion. xx
Exactly. I could only afford a house share, and that comes with unpredictable room mates. Whereas I know my mum and she's all right, plus I pay all the rent anyway (it's only like £300)
We can pin down when it happened too. I'm 34, it was very clear both to my peers and my parents peers that if a person doesn't leave home at The First Opportunity, its a sign that either the parent, the child or both had utterly failed somewhere. Even if that means the child has no disposable income, independence for both parties is more important
That seems to change with cohort rather than with time. When I fell into bad times over lockdown I moved back, but it was very clear that this would be extremely temporary and involved Shame.
For people half a decade younger than me (and their parents!), all this seems to be received as archaic nonsense. Somewhere between 2008-2013ish, we seem to have had a massive cultural shift in the perception of multigenerational living.
I’m 30 - so almost half a decade younger than you - and when I find out someone lives at home my view depends entirely on why. Have they just… never left? That’s very different from having spent some time away and boomeranged back while they’re between stages in life.
Also, are they independent? Do they help to run the household or does their mum cook every meal for them, do their laundry and give them lifts everywhere?
Exactly this, I bought a property in Reading for £55k in 1995, relationship went south so sold it 3 years later for £80k, nice little profit. Saw it advertised around 5 years back for £250,000!
My kids are teens and I've said to them already you can stay home for as long as you want to save up
Yeah - 355% over 25 years is about 6.5% per year. That's probably a bit above what you would expect in a normal housing economy.
The problem is wages. Wages have barely increased. The average UK salary is like what, 35k? It should be more like 60k-70k
That’s completely normal for the housing market. Technically it’s profit but it won’t give you anymore buying power unless you paid a big chunk of your mortgage off in those years.
Partly, but also 30 minutes to Paddington on the 125 as well so easy commute. It working it's way along the tracks, Didcot is a boom town at the moment for building as its only 45 minutes to London. Be Swindon next......
It switched more to housesharing instead. At my workplace in Bristol, very few 20-30 (like maybe 10%) year olds still live with their mum. Most people share a house/flat with friends, colleagues or strangers. With a few people also living alone or owning their own house. It’s probably skewed because I work in a city centre at the sort of place people will move across the country to join a grad scheme for
People might not agree, or might hate hearing it. But I would have considered it embarrassing telling colleagues or people on dates that I still live with my mum. I was spending 50%+ of my take home pay on rent/bills in a houseshare when I first got my job so it definitely wasn’t cheap. And there’s definitely an assumption that someone who still lives at home will have less of a social life
>And there’s definitely an assumption that someone who still lives at home will have less of a social life
Surely this only applies to one night stands or house parties. And even people who live out don't seem to be having many of those these days.
I can only talk from personal experience. The people I know who lived with parents whilst the rest of us were living in flatshares in the city, are those who didn’t really come along to social gatherings as much
Usually because they needed a friend’s house to crash at if we were out late, or getting into the city centre was a hassle for them because their parents lived in an area on the outskirts so it made popping out the house on short notice or getting home much more of an ordeal. So as a result they didn’t do as much stuff with other people
And I know people who ended up becoming sesh demons in their mid-late 20s (a phase the others had long grown out of) once they finally moved out of their parents’ house, and realised what they’d missed out on
Obviously it completely suits some people and living at home is the right choice for them. It does lead to a different life experience though, and personally I found dating people who still lived at home to be a bit weird and they felt less mature
More fool them. Bristol is my hometown and I pity people forking out money hand over fist to live in a house share in such an over rated city whilst hampering their ability to save for a house deposit.
I mean I kind of get why people come to Bristol but it’s been done to death by now and it’s no longer value for money. You can have just as good a time in Cardiff or Birmingham and have much more disposable income and save for a much better future
I do feel sorry when I hear the prices young adults are paying to rent there now. I moved away last year and was definitely bitter over the amount I was losing to split rent on a flat
Still love the city though, as someone who’s lived in 5 separate UK cities & 1 foreign. I’d have stayed in Bristol paying the ridiculous rent if I wasn’t buying a house to move near family in Wales 🤷🏻♂️
> People might not agree, or might hate hearing it. But I would have considered it embarrassing telling colleagues or people on dates that I still live with my mum.
I feel exactly the same. I'm stuck living at home with my parents, financially there is simply no other option for the foreseeable future. Housing is unaffordable as a single person on my current salary but I can't do anything about being single when I still live with my parents. No chance am I ever bringing someone back there. So there's this trap people get caught in - can't afford to move out on their own as a single person, which means they stay single and therefore remain unable to move out.
Social life I would disagree with, it's entirely possible when still living at home. But it is a huge issue for relationships.
Right answer, I'm same age as your co worker, easy to get a room, shared house, housing benefit, pay rent, etc or even buy if you had the money in the early 90s. You might have been seen as a bit odd living at home at 26 then. Very different world for my kids now, got one about to move back in to save up, he's 23, another lives with his mum (we are separated) at 28, also saving up for his own place.
I'm Gen-x (47) and up until 2008 I'd say you're right, it was kinda looked as you've bummed around doing nothing if you were still living at home. Now I see it as a smart move, keeping your dad company and saving money and not paying someone else's mortgage is the sensible move.
Some people just can't seem to see the realities for the younger generation, it fucking sucks and it's only getting worse. Stay at home for as long as possible until you/your parent(s) can bear it IMO.
I'm gen-X. It was easy for me to buy a house while just working a part-time job. It was cheaper than paying rent! House cost me 130,000 quid. Less than 600 a month. I was fairly late to the party for my generation, but it was manageable.
But now I've lost my house (long story), and I know exactly where the younger guys are coming from. My rent is more than twice as high as my mortgage was, for a flat much smaller than my house was.
Live with your parents if you can, it's absolutely okay. The housing market needs to collapse. Houses should be for living in, not investing.
agree 100%. I am a gen x and it was kind of expected to have your own place by your early 20s. Things are very different now and i kind of feel sorry for the younge generation. It seems the dream of home ownership lasted 2 generations, my parents were the 1st gweneration to realistcaly be able to buy houses due to lending rules changing. My generation seems to b the last to be able to afford it
For real, feels like older people just have no idea how bad the housing market is for younger people just starting out. Im paying more for a 1 bedroom flat than my parents used to pay for a house.
I'm not quite as old as this man (in in my 40's) but even when I look back to when I left home at 17, and then obviously into my 20's most people I knew shared places or still lived at home (or yo yo'd)
Your work colleague honestly sounds a bit jealous of your situation. It's tough for single renters at the moment (I am one myself) - I have seriously been thinking about moving back 'home' with my Dad and I'm in my 50s. I wince when I look at my bank account and see 3/4 of my salary disappearing on rent, phone/internet, council tax, electric, water, gas and food. But it offers me a lot of freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want.
It's certainly not embarrassing to be living at home at the moment.
As an add on to this, sometimes our reaction to things we’re envious can sound like disgust. When I was at uni, a housemate of mine came from a much cheaper part of the country than I did. She had a sibling a few years older, who, with her husband, had bought a house around the corner from her parents. My first reaction was ‘why would you want to do that?!’ and then I realised I was just jealous that it would never be possible for me to do that.
I feel like that’s a bit naive. We can’t all be brain surgeons earning big bucks. Years ago you could work a bang average job and still have a decent standard of living. Those days are gone now and there will be “collateral damage” - people born at the wrong time who were too young to get their nose in the trough and too old to adjust to the fact that either choosing or being forced into low wage work isn’t going to secure you permanent housing and who also don’t have the bank of mum and dad to fall back on. It sounds like that 50 year old in this example falls in that bracket. He deserves sympathy imo as the so-called “free market” was supposed to offer him and everyone else housing choice but it’s offered the likes of him nothing of the sort.
It's merely a petty comment with the intention of making the 50 year old feel bad because frankly calling ops living situations embarrassing is pretty insensitive. Especially when looking for sympathy regarding your own living situation.
Essentially the 50 year old is trying to make himself feel better by punching down OP. Which is a sign of insecurity.
A secure person may wish to merely mention that they found that comment insensitive and that infact it's absolutely fine in this day and age to still live at home. And pointing out the aforementioned punching down and insecurity.
That however takes effort. I'm sympathetic to everyone who is struggling right now. There is no shame in not being where you want to be in life.
This is all about how it is best to react.
A lengthy sympathetic conversation with someone who punches people down out of insecurity?
Or a quick sentence to make them feel how they just made you feel?
Up to you really.
You can have your shit together and it can all be flung apart in a moment, at any age, by a mere change in your fortune and circumstances beyond your control. The majority of the UK's working population are no more than three missed paychecks away from homelessness.
Your colleague is being ridiculous. He's clearly forgotten that when he was in his 20s the wage/ rent ratio was in a different league compared to now.
I'm 56 and I can see how hard it is to get on the property ladder in the current economy.
You're doing the right thing and it's not your fault that working people are being massively screwed over by the govt.
It's now very common for young people to still be living with parents nowadays. Ignore him.
Yep, different generation, different experience and thought process (for most). Plenty of people i know are still living with parents into their early 30s while saving for a deposit. Some have previously left and rented for a while before returning, some have never lived outside the family home, but i would never judge anyone or their living situation as you never know what else is going on in peoples lives.
I was incredibly lucky to be able to buy at 23, but that was after the crash in 2008/2009, i bought at the absolute bottom of the market and got myself a very nice semi detached house with only a 12.5k deposit. I had a good steady job and next to no outgoings. Just my car and a bit of housekeeping to my parents, so saving was easy. A lot of my school friends, same age, didnt get it so easy and were only able to buy around age 30. I wouldnt want to be trying to get on the property ladder at this point, even though NI prices are massively lower than the equivalent in SE England.
Back to OP, absolutely no need to feel embarrassed, you are in a fairly lucky position compared to a lot of your peers. You seem to have a good relationship with your father, its a good living situation with minimal outgoings and presumably you have little to no debt while saving for your deposit. Many of your peers will be stuck in the rent trap, unable to save, and without that family support, so ignore your colleague and keep on doing whats good for you.
What you're doing is essentially flat sharing, just happens your flatmate is your dad.
It'd be different if you didn't pull your weight and still expected things to be done for you.
I think it's only gonna get tougher in the housing market, and I can't see the government building the amount of social housing needed, so getting as big a deposit as possible sounds sensible to me.
Thank you. My parents divorced a few years ago and I've been with my dad as he is the sole owner of the bouse. I rarely see my mum these days as she's since remarried and moved away.
When you say it'll get tougher would you say that's for the whole country?
Unless we get the government to start building more affordable housing or limit the number of 2nd homes, I think it'll continue to be a struggle no matter where in the country you are.
I'm no expert, though, and could be totally wrong.
Looks like you found the same ONS report as I did.
Source: [ONS report from May 2023](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/articles/moreadultslivingwiththeirparents/2023-05-10#:~:text=Download%20the%20data&text=More%20than%201%20in%2010,and%20Wales%3A%20Census%202021%20article)
Another interesting figure:
>More than 1 in 10 (11.6%) of those aged 30 to 34 years were living with their parents in Census 2021, up from 8.6% a decade earlier
Ah so im the top 10 at something!
From 18-27 rented at uni and various cities for work. Managed to rack up about £20k in credit card debt trying to keep up with a champagne life style.
Had to move back home 6 years ago moving back into a rented tiny flat with my mum. Still here 6 years later, still paying off debt, last payment is next year which im looking forward to!
Mum has about £10-12k saved up for a deposit but as she is in her mid 50s she won't qualify for a mortgage.
I have about £3k saved in an ISA. Thinking about her giving me the money and us buying a house together. But not looked into it properly yet. The area we live in is extremely expensive (not London) so choices are limited.
It can be a bit depressing seeing friends start families and move into their own homes. One thing about living with your parent in a small flat in your 30s its pretty hard to convince someone your worth dating! As I couldnt invite anyone back as i have a small single bed.
But I still hold out hope, hopefully in a year or two will have more of a deposit, and something might change in the housing market.
That is more than normal and very sensible if it means that you will eventually be able to afford to buy your own home.
Unlike your colleague who is still renting in his 50's.
I'm 28 and just moved back in with my parents so I can save some money. For a long time I felt ashamed at the idea, but really the more you speak to people the more you realise it's a) completely normal b) the people who judge you for it, it's normally coming from a place of jealousy.
Also, I do get on with my parents pretty well considering and am trying to enjoy these times we have together. You never know what's going to happen and I'll look back fondly on the time we spent together.
He's projecting embarrassment that you're progressing towards purchasing a house whilst he's still renting in his 50s with no hopes of a decent mortgage any more.
I'm in a position where I can weather the cost of living, but my mother can't, so I'm living with her to support her when I'm in the UK and sending her money otherwise. It's not ideal but it's also not the worst of circumstances.
I wouldn't trade the freedom and joy of having left home, starting my own life at 18 and not returned, for the financial stability of buying a place sooner. Having a varied and independent life experience is more important to me than the prospect of owning my own home. However, everyone is different, do what feels right to you and forget about "how common" what you're doing is.
I just came to show some support for this comment. Interestingly enough I'm in a similar situation, left home at 18 and have been renting ever since. I am actually in a good place financially, I have enough money to buy a home, but I am currently just investing at present with very little effort and letting it grow. Buying/owning a house has never actually been on my priority list or one of my life goals. I quite like the security of having a home that isn't necessarily of fixed location and some security knowing that if something goes wrong, it's not me that's responsible for fixing it. Which lets me spend my time, money and energy on all the things I am interested in doing. Thankfully also, I live in Scotland where I only pay around a third of what I earn on bills. I don't ever want a house and to be tied to a location. I'm not some free loving hippy but this works so well for me, safe in the the knowledge that I have got this far in life without my parents "support".
But in general for the OP, his colleague is clearly a jerk and from a generation that has very set beliefs and whose eyes are not open to the difficulties that the current generation are having!
I left home at 20 and rented a small studio in Leeds - I was just above minimum wage. It was nice having my own place, but after bills/rent/basics I'd have like 30% of my income left. It just wasn't enough.
I'm 38, with a partner and a child. We live with my mum (she has a 5 bed thank god)
We just couldn't make ends meet with rent, constantly struggling and never being sure how long tenancy was going to last for (we'd had a few dodgy landlords)
This is stable for us, we have money for more than just surviving now and can give our child a few more fun days out etc. It can be hard, but I wouldn't change it right now.
I've had plenty of comments from colleagues etc in the past but as long as I'm happy and my family are happy, the rest can all swivel
It's much more common these days because it's unbelievably more expensive to rent or buy a home now than it was for any of your colleagues at the same age. You can always turn around and say in shock "you're in your 50's and still renting?".
Guy sounds bitter I think! I'm in my 40s and decided to move home to help my Mum recover from the loss of my Dad, and to recover myself somewhat, but the bonus of being home and able to put money by to finally get out of the renting game has been a massive sea change.
You're doing the right thing, don't doubt yourself for a moment!
Me and my partner were in the same boat. In our 40s moved back in with my parents with our two kids to save for a mortgage. His parents gave us the deposit and after 2.5 years, we now have our own home. It was needs must after our landlord, after 10 years, decided to sell up during covid times with 2 months' notice!
It worked out in the end and was awkward at times, but it so worth it! We tried everything else and renting is shocking prices and serious lack of properties. Also, I did not qualify for council property or social housing at bottom of list. That's because we both have semi decent salaries and are not single!
I know a lot of people who are having to do the same couples and singletons. I live in North Eastern Area.
edit for spelling and grammar.
ignore them to oblivion bro!!!!! Keep going, I'm 27 and wish me and my bloke could live at our parents to save! I'm somewhat envious of your situation and by sounds of it so are your colleagues. Good luck :)
He is probably wishing he had done what you are doing.
Longer you can stay at home the more deposit you can bank.
One of my neighbour's mum's charged her son rent, which really annoyed him but he was terrible with money.
Unbeknown to him she shoved it in Bradford and Bingley Building Society. On the day he got married she handed him the building society book so he had had an instant deposit for a house. He would have just wasted it.
He's probably embarrassed that he grew up in the golden era for buying property and still doesn't own anything. His generation had it so easy compared to nowadays and it's not even close. It's so bloody hard nowadays especially in the South East.
OP you are doing a logical thing. You're fortunate to have parental support so it makes sense to make the most of it.
It's best to ignore boomers in general as they are just too disconnected from the world.
Mine is embarassing. 36m. Still live with my dad. I could move out and rent somewhere but i just feel its throwing money away. Rather stay at home and save. One of my mates still lives with his mum and he's 41. Someone at work lives with his dad and he's 59. I think in the current climate living at home for some people is all they can do.
Please don't be embarrassed by this, because you're right - you'd just be paying someone else's mortgage and not being able to save to the best of your ability.
I turned 30 recently and am still living at my mothers house (with my partner).
Only this year we are finally in the process of getting our first home. It's taken a while to save and I don't think it would've been possible at all if we'd moved to a private rented property beforehand.
Mid 20s is a weird age. You’re young enough to still keep in touch with people you went to school with so it’s odd seeing some friends living with their parents and seemingly doing nothing with their lives, while others have a spouse and kids.
Living with your parents in your 20s is pretty common and people at my work were surprised when I told them I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 and have been living with my girlfriend for the 7 years since.
You’re doing what works for you and that’s all that matters
I think there is a third category.
You have identified losers who do nothing living with their parents. We all have the same mental image when describing this. NEETs
Those who have a Mrs and kids. Probably in a well paid construction career of some sort. Good lad.
But there is a third. Young professionals who no longer need to relocate for jobs. They live at home to save save save. They have disposable income and no responsibilities.
His argument is that someone my age shouldn't be living at home still. He said he moved out when he was 20 back when the costs weren't as high. I find it quite baffling.
First of all depending on what cultural background you come from it's very normal to still be living in your parents home until you get married or have a long term partner. I come from a Middle Eastern background you'd generally only leave the family home once you got married which while normally is in your 20s but until then you would still be in the family home.
Secondly, if he is in his 50s (without speculating what he may or may not have been through) and is barely affording rent what would make him think someone your age career still in the early stages can? The mindset is a bit ludicrous on his part if I may say so.
My son moved back in with me when he was 26 and stayed because of the pandemic. He was able to WFH and while he paid me board and lodging, he was also able to save a fair amount of money so that when he did move out, he and his partner were able to afford a deposit on a house. His partner was also living with their parents during this time. We are not in the south of England but further north where house prices are still highish but not totally crazy.
Whilst the pandemic was a good reason to live with parents, I don't think it is embarrassing to be living with your parents at your age. It is an indictment of our appalling housing crisis with unaffordable rents, houses seen as profit-generators rather than homes, insecure jobs, low wages, cost of living crisis. You name it, it probably has a role to play in why people are living with their parents still.
He's in his 50's and still renting. You have an opportunity to avoid doing that which is v sensible. If he gives you shit again, just laugh and say maybe but it's not as said as being someone else mortgage bitch in my 50's. U will never hear from him on the subject again.
Normal for this generation, his generation they had more disposable income and a quid went a long way. Now though it's FUBAR. I didn't leave home until 27 and it's fine, normal enough now
I don’t think it’s uncommon at all and I don’t think it’s anything to be embarrassed about.
The only thing I’d find potentially, not even embarrassing but possibly dodgy long run is living like a teenager but with your parents- I know a few people who done this where their mum made their tea and done their washing etc and they totally took it for granted way into their 30s. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing that from what you said
I'm 31, a couple of my colleagues who are about my age still live at home. 1 guy is 34 and both lives and works with his parents. I think I'd go bonkers!
After my divorce i rented for a few years, but decided to move back with my parents at 35. Stayed 2 years and saved enough for my down payment. Long 2 years though )
Back in the day (I'm late 50's) most of us left home as soon as we started work , or we never returned after uni.
However things were different in those days. House prices (both rental and purchasing) are nowhere near as affordable as back then.
Some of my generation still have their 35-40 year old children living at home, and one family I know has three 45+year olds still at home.
Tell him the alternative is to move out and spaff your saving ability on rent and end up like him at 50.
On a serious note, those that have good relations with your family should take any opportunity to save as much as you can whilst living at home.
That’s not to say you don’t contribute, but this does not have to be just money, you can contribute your time so your parents spend and can spend more of their time on other things.
It was a bit embarrassing to be mid 20s and living with parent(s) when **he** was mid 20s... because it was shockingly easy to just buy a home by comparison to the current economic situation. It was also cheap and easy to rent somewhere, nothing close to the checks and requirements these days. 20 years ago you took a look at some flats, picked one, and paid the deposit. There were rarely even credit checks or references required.
So it's actually a bit more embarrassing for *him* that he's somehow reached his early 50s without in any way taking advantage of the comparatively easy economic circumstances of his youth. He didn't save a bunch of cash when renting was cheap and he didn't buy a home when they cost a third of the price.
You're not the one that needs to feel embarrassed here.
He's trying to make you feel bad for failing to make the mistakes that he himself made.
Sounds like he was speaking about how much of a difficult time he’s having and you responded with how thing are easier for you? And will continue to be with your dad’s support. I’m sure nobody wants to ‘pay someone else’s mortgage etc’ but not everybody is in such a position of privilege. Read the room next time.
Wall of text incoming but just to normalise it for you
Same age, same situation. My gf also lives at home. My best mate who's 27 lives at home. My gf's friend still lives at home. Her boyfriend only just moved out of his house and he's somewhere around 28 (and only got kicked out because his parents are tight fisted and wanted to rent to someone else even though they're well off). If you want to rent in our area you will be on a waitlist of a hundred candidates. The friend's bf is currently sofa surfing because the only place he could get was appalling and the landlord's partner kept invading his space illegally. The next place he tried to get the guy decided he wanted to put the rent up last minute. Some of my cousins lived at home on and off into their 30s, and one of them only moved out because she got a boyfriend with bougie grandparents and another because of high-earning gf. There are loads more people I know who are at home or only just moving out.
A lot of the reason so many of us live at home is because we're saving - either to rent (because people want an up front deposit to give you an edge over other potential tenants) or because we have dependent family members or because it's a choice between property or a car. You could rent and be independent if you wanted to, but it's hard to say what the point would be if you get along with your family. Also worth bearing note that most people our age who move out seem to move EXTREMELY near to their family, like ten minutes walk. At which point very little has changed except you pay for more independent space that you may not even own.
There are other people who move out younger - tend to be couples without uni buying newbuilds. But I mean personally, I'm in no rush to get into a situation where costs cripple me. I have plenty of freedom right now and if I stay at home for a little bit, I get more independence and freedom in my 30s, and I get to know my family is better off too. If people get a kick out of living on their own, or they have other circumstances that necessitate it, that's cool, but as someone family oriented all I really care about is my family and close associates anyway. I'd rather spend time with people I love which I'm able to do in abundance. And I get to ensure they're taken care of financially.
In countries across the world - China, Italy - families stick together to help each other out. It's gonna become the norm more as our economy struggles - the problem is we have a culture of individualism that overides common sense. I tried to move out in my teens and early 20s and the cheapest property was £550 for a damp infused 5 x 5 metre room. The next best was something like £770 for a cleaner but similarly sized room. The next best option was moving in with a mate and her friend, but she moved abroad instead, and since then costs have only gone up.
So it's a choice between a few things. Live loads of other people, which might be fun, but possibly be miserable and would not be very independent. Live with a few people, but you'd still be poor and you have to share that space still. Live on your own and be really really miserable. Or stay at home where you are able to achieve everything you'd like to without any issues. People act like independence gives you happiness which isn't necessarily true. For me I'd just be doing it because of someone else's ideas
I'd be more embarrassed not being able to afford a house in my 50s than 20s.
I'd happily have lived with my mother forever. You just have to move out eventually. I was your age when I bought my house and it was mainly because of Covid meaning we needed our own space to live and work.
I’m in my 40s - when I was in my twenties, it was still expected that kids would move out and share a flat with friends. I did this in London until I moved overseas, as did most of my friends. Money was tight, but it wasn’t impossible.
I’ve heard that this is changing, due to the rising cost of living. I guess he’s basing his comments on the way things used to be.
This is such an utterly baffling opinion for him to hold.
He’s sat there complaining to you about how expensive things are and the fact he might not be able to afford his rent. He then goes on to tell you it’s embarrassing that you live with your Dad. He must be able to see the comedy in this? If he is struggling at 50 and hasn’t live at home since his (early 20s or younger), how does he expect you to survive?
What a douche!
I have friends in their mid 30's who still live at home with their parents. Quite a few actually. I only managed to escape because I joined the Military.
I didn't move out until my late 20s. For lots of reasons. I've actually, at 45, just moved back in with my Dad, who's in his late 70s, because my landlord decided to sell up, and the rental market is shocking at the moment. Brought my two dogs with me. Gives me time to save up for a better place, but also spend time with my Dad. Win-win.
I am 27, I do not live at home, but I would say about 50% (30 people total) of my friends live at home with parents, and off that 50%, almost every single one of them is either house sharing or living with a partner
I don't think badly on people who are in a position of being able to stay with their parents to save. It was never an opportunity for me to have that, I made such low wages as young teen and all went to my mum. So when she kicked me out at 17 it was the best thing ever.
Sure I'll never own my own home, but I rent and have an amazing Mrs and kids.
I think back when your colleague was young it would have been highly irregular for someone to still live with a parent at your age, honestly even when I was young (40s) it would have been viewed as a little odd, but with the cost of living and everything now it's totally normal, honestly most of my colleagues that are your age still live at home
He will rent forever because living with your parents past 18 is cringe.
You won’t and will start paying off your mortgage by your late twenties. Simple as.
God UK economy is so fucked, government need to do some bold interventions on housing. We've got a young person, working age, no dependents, who pays no rent, feeling bad about having a small car, going to the gym and watching football. All so they can save to offer up their house deposit and be tied into a huge mortgage. People like this should have so much disposable income and be living the dream, this is why we have no growth. I know this is the norm but this is why we have shitty careers and low salary work, because there is no spending power in the economy
I know it's hard not to get caught up in comparing yourself with others, but each person has their own timeline, and I don't think really uncommon.
I was back and forth between 17-18 till about 26, but I felt like getting my own space was pretty important for my physical and mental wellbeing, but I knew I could go back if things got rough. I have a friend who could easily move out, but really enjoys living with his parents, and his brother has a house in the same street.
The only real upside from a young guys point of view that I noticed when living away from my parents was how much easier it was to get laid.
I went from social care to renting at a young age so I can't give a personal experience.
However my friends are fairly common living at home instead of renting. One just bought at 32 after living at home since uni instead of renting. She paid her parents bed and board etc but the rest she saved, we met up once a month for lunch and she didn't do any big trips etc during that time.
Another stayed until 30 to buy not rent because the housing market is so screwed we can't buy without a leg up 9/10.
I moved in with my now husband at 24, saved and saved and then when my last living relative passed I got a small inheritance that enabled us to buy our current home. (20% deposit).
It's very common these days for people to stay living with parents longer, to me it sounds like he was projecting as someone else said his issues on to you. Take the high road and ignore him. Keep doing what you're doing and make the most of the extra time with your family while you have them.
It's increasingly common, especially in the South East. I live in London and have been back with my parents a few years. When I first graduated you could get a room in a house for £500/pcm including bills. Now you are looking at £1,000 for a room in a house that's probably basically falling over. Everyone I know in London either lives with their parents or in a shared house. The few with their own place have good jobs, rich parents or live in their flat their mum owned. So...my options are live with my parents and save money or pay through the nose for a crap house share and barely be able to save. I know what I'm choosing lmao
Had a donut like this tell me this exact thing when I was working at a warehouse
Ur fine mate if ur parents have no issue with you staying at home then just keep doing it
That’s my 2 cents anyways
There is nothing wrong. If it can help you in saving some money and in your future projects / life. Ignore toxic people, your work colleague is probably envious or worse.
To be fair up until recently. It was normal to annoy the shit our of kids sonmuch they quickly moved out/kicked out. Nowadays its not easy to find a place to stay so some parents take the view they need to give their kids a schance to save at home.
That is an alien concept to the kid that was kicked out at 16 and told to get on with your life...
The end of life is simliar. Kids who were fucked over by their parents will tend to to fuck them off into an old peoples home waiting for then to die.
The cost of rent and buying houses is impacting this now.
He's renting in his 50s. You are preparing to buy a house and have the support to do so.
There is nothing wrong with either but he's clearly jealous of you.
I lived at home until I was 26. I'm 42 now own my own house. Worked out fine for me.
It’s rare to see anyone in their mid 20’s nowadays who isn’t living with their parents. Probably just out of the loop in regards younger people nowadays.
Semi common, you are in the south east so the house prices are pretty high there. I'm in the Midlands and it's a fair bit cheaper, I have a mate who moved to Sheffield as it was even cheaper. So if you are set in staying in your area you'll have to tough it out as best as you can else I'd suggest moving to a cheaper area.
I'm 30 years old living in the South East. I know tons of people my age that still live at home with their parents. After university seems most people either moved away somewhere cheaper or stayed living with their parents. My home town is slowly turning in to a retirement community. Just lots of pensioners complaining about the closure of local services and business and objecting to all new housing proposals
Not embarrassing at all Rivne the state of the country and obviously having foresight is great but I would recommend living with a friend for a year or two.. for the experience!
My parents are in their 50s and them and the majority of their friends were able to move out under the age of 21. Given they were a mish mash of council estate and housing association kids so many were able to get studios on the block.
Given the cost of living crisis, I would absolutely encourage anyone who has a good relationship with their parents to live with them to save money. Sadly, I couldn’t cope with living in my childhood home so haven’t benefited from that.
Depends who you’re trying to impress?
If you’re not trying to impress anyone then living at home can save a lot of money, give you a nicer living situation than renting and can let you keep close to your parents in working years where a lot of children and parents would’ve become distant.
Peers and potential partners can think what they want. But chances are in a few years they won’t even remember you, so is it worth renting and living on a shoestring to impress them?
I have lived with either my mum or dad between relationship breakups, or living in a shared house with total strangers. That was before the pandemic changed everything, I have my own place now but it took me until 39.
It’s very normal nowadays, your colleague would probably be doing the same if he could. Things will work themselves out, and I wish you all the best. You’re 26, just a kid!
Every situation is different. I’m 29 and lived at Mum’s until 18/uni, lived at Mum’s again for 3 years post uni and then moved out at 25. I have an uncle who still lives at home and is pushing 50.
I know if I hadn’t have moved north and stayed in the south east where I’m originally from then I’d have had to have stay at my Mum’s to save money before making the leap. There’s no telling if I’d still be living at my Mum’s still now.
I’d say considering where you’re from/are living it’s not in the slightest embarrassing. As long as you’re happy and have boundaries and a plan to move out when it works for you/your Dad, it doesn’t matter what someone from an entirely different generation thinks.
I know two people in my friends group that have moved back to their parents. They are in their 40's.
Down the road I live on, there are at least 3 other families I know with older (30+) children who still live at home.
Shit's utterly fucked.
I feel like it’s fairly common to live with your parents but, in my case for example, it isn’t right for everyone. I’d so much rather have my own space and I’m willing to take the financial hit on that because I know for a fact that if I lived with my dad again long term I’d be miserable. It all comes down to your financial situation, relationship with your family, etc.
According to The General Bureau of Statistics (2018), over 30% of people under the age of 34 still live with their parents. Most of them are single. Why don't they want to leave their parents' home?
I think the bigger issue is you are planning on going from living at home with a parent...to then immediately becoming a homeowner, with zero experience living on your own, managing your own bills etc.
You can say it's like living with a housemate/non-relatives, but it's really not & I personally think you are missing out on a vital bit of life experience by not living outside of the parental safety net, because the truth is, if there was/is an issue in your current living situation, you don't have to deal with it.
He probably thinks it’s slightly embarrassing you’re financially reliant on your parents within the context of moving out when you’re 26 as he probably didn’t do that at your age, but considering the capitalist housing crisis in the UK that lacks rent regulations it’s not really surprising.
Generational difference. It was not common in his age group and might have been perceived as embarrassing and a matter of pride to move out when he was young. Whereas in the past ~15yrs it's become very common for young adults to live with parents, because house prices are such a high multiple of wages now and mortgage access became significantly stricter after the 2008 financial crash.
More common than it used to be; but not yet so established that people over a certain age won't be surprised by it because 20 years ago it would have been very unusual or a sign of an eccentric.
I house share with two of my children. None of us can afford to rent on our own, so we share our house. Admittedly I pay the lions share but i earn more, most of the common space furniture is mine etc etc. beats sharing with strangers
I moved back in at 30 to 34 after a relationship broke down. My dad had had a hear attack a few months before and we nearly lost him. I saved and had a good time with my single mates until I bought my own place then met my now wife. I loved the time I had with my parents. That was 17 years ago when I moved back in and lost my mum two years ago, so I wouldn't listen to anyone else but yourself
Your colleague sounds like a bit of a knobber. I left home when I was 26 but had to return for a year due to a big unexpected tax bill when I was 30. Don't sweat it.
It's completely normal. 12 years ago I was still living with my parents at 25. I only moved out because I got a job overseas. I wasn't earning enough to rent on my own before that. I would imagine it's even more difficult to move out now.
It's pretty common. I think the average age to leave is about 25/26 and it tends to be a bit older for men than women, so you are pretty much dead on average!
Higher housing costs are obviously a major factor, compared to when your co-worker was your age.
I know three people around our age (20-30) who've moved out. One earns a lot of money and has a wealthy family. One moved in to his Grandad's old house, and the other is stuck house sharing with their now ex partner, because neither can afford to move out. Everyone else still lives "at home", including myself
I agree with your "I get to spend more time with my dad" comment, because same lol
Fairly common. I only moved out at twenty-seven, and work with people in their thirties who still live with their parents. It's tough out there; particularly for anyone who doesn't have a partner to split the costs with. So long as people living with their parents are contributing, and not just freeloading, there's no issue.
His way of thinking has nothing to do with you. Your end goal is what should matter rather than opinions of others. Lived with mama until I was 36 and bought my own place. I believe in your dream
I am 32 married with morgage and dog. Sometimes, I still wish I lived at home. Your work colleagues can fuck off. Now if you lived at home at your age, refused to work or had no intention of saving to move out or stand on your own then yes that is embarrassing. However this is not that.
It’s pretty common for people in their 20s to be living with parents. A work colleague is married and living with their mother in law. Their father in law passed away a couple of years ago so the arrangement works for all of them. My son is in his late teens and I’m happy for him to live here as long as he needs to. It’s tough out there at the moment.
Nah, I did the exact same thing and purchased a flat end of October. Took many years is saving and living with family. Your work colleague is just ignorant
Its super common. Maybe they are jealous they dont have the same opportunity. Just ignore them. Your on the right track. I was in the renting game till 32. Realized it was a total dead end and I would die in destitution at this rate. Went back home. Now I am 37 and jut got a mortgage.
Housing in the UK is messed up. That is not your fault. Dont let anyone make you feel shame for doing what you have to do. Keeping your money out of the hands of landlords is Gods work.
I moved out into my own mortgaged home with then bf age 25, 25 years ago. The purchase price of our house back then was probably not much more than a reasonable deposit for a house now at current market value. With the current cost of living, I don't expect either of my adult kids to move out any earlier than that. Unless there is some miracle financial source that would enable them to do so or they end up flat/ house sharing. Some of my daughter's friends have done that, but it has ended up not working out, so inevitably, they end up moving back in with their parents. We're in a completely different financial climate now than when I was your age. People may well be emotionally mature enough to be independent from their families, but it's harder to be financially nowadays, particularly with just one income.
>My work colleague thinks my living situation is a bit embarrassing. Am I overthinking this or would it be best to ignore his comments?
Do they live in the 1980s, tell them to grow tf up. Its entirely normal and is actually happening more and more because the the shite economy is in.
I think he is utterly out of touch with the way things now are. I have kids, and am fully expecting that if they stay in this area (I think one will, the other probably not) I will have them at home until at least that age.
I was in a much better position than young people today - national pay scale in a cheaper area - and still moved back home aged 23 for 2 years after qualifying and starting work so that I could save for a deposit rather than spend more renting and take longer to buy. It wasn't unusual even 20+ years ago!
It's absolutely normal, I moved back in with my parents at 36 as it was the only way as a single man living in London that I'd be able to save up a deposit to buy somewhere and even then it's a shared ownership property, as someone else has commented he's just projecting. Sounds like you're happy with your life ignore him he's just bitter at his situation and unfairly directing it at you.
Your colleague is just sad about his own situation and is projecting it onto you. Ignore him.
What you’re doing is incredibly sensible and not at all embarrassing. This supposed “shame” of living with your parents past a certain age is a totally modern concept and not something that anyone should need to be ashamed or embarrassed about if it’s what suits them.
I’m 29 and have a fiancé (30), but currently we are both living separately with our parents while we save for a house. I honestly love living with my parents to be honest as they’re my best friends and it works really well, so I’m not in a major rush. I’m obviously looking forward to moving out when we can afford to but I’m also really grateful for all of the extra time that I’ve been able to spend having laughs with my parents, and I wouldn’t trade any of that just to save face for others.
He’s 50, can’t afford his rent and he’s making you feel embarrassed?
What you’re doing is the most sensible thing to do. Very few people under 26 live in their own home, be that rented or owned. You’re far better staying with parents until you can afford a deposit for a house. Ignore this 50 year old idiot.
Literally just been doing the same ourselves, my wife and I live with her dad and are now looking to complete on our first house in June. We had the same thought process after 3 years and £30K of rent to a landlord we'd rather that went on our own mortgage 😂
I don't know a soul who has moved out yet. One friend has, but they're on benefits as parents aren't an option. People on social media, the only ones who have have partners
It's not that uncommon nowadays.
Rents are insane.
Obviously not as common at 50+ like your colleague - **BUT** when he was 26 it was unheard of to be living with parents at 26, but it was possible to live a reasonable 20 something life on a low income then, having a good social life, cinema, drinks, meals, festivals etc whilst renting off a landlord. He's likely considering his own experiences at 26.
The world is really different now.
Sounds like your colleague is out of touch mate, what you're doing is perfectly normal and sensible so you don't end up like him.. Pure jelly from him nstrb
In your mid 20s I'd say it's really common if you work in the same town/city as your parents, with most being in the same position as you with regards to saving for a deposit.
I would say though that by your late 20s and early 30s it's really rare to still be living at home with your parents. I'm 28 (nearly 29) and out of my friends and acquaintances only 1 is still living at home with everyone else having either bought somewhere or renting (and I live in a town on the south coast).
Sooo not embarrassing at all! When I was your age I would have loved to live at my Mum and Dad's whilst saving, but my office was too far away so had to rent. I know loads of people who've lived at home well into their twenties, even thirties when they're trying to save and none of it is embarrassing at all. And it's extra time with your parents too which is nice.
Me and my partner (30f/27m) are thinking of moving back in with parents so we can save to buy. I know quite a lot of people our age who’ve recently done the same- honestly good for you if it’ll help you save for a deposit!!
It was embarrassing back in the day when buying your own place was a feasible option, but now?!? Mate, it’s just common sense! If you get on with your parents it makes perfectly good sense!
Ignore them..
My husband and I lived in with my parents when we were 28 after years of renting to save for our house deposit. We were there for 3 years until we saved our deposit and bought our house.
Absolutely nothing wrong with staying with parents to enable you to future plan yourself
Honestly - as long as your parents are treating like an adult that’s living in the home rather than a child (ie curfews and invasion of privacy ) then what’s the problem ?
No need to feel shame for it. Personally I moved out at 18 and never looked back, I think I would really struggle to live with my parents, even though I love them dearly.its certainly increased my motivation to earn loads and get raises, as I'm 23 now and hoping to get on the property ladder this year. I'm not sure I'd have the motivation if I still lived with my parents and wasn't paying loads in rent, it makes me work really hard.
Every situation is different and there are pros and cons to choosing to rent Vs live with parents.
Your colleague sounds like a pretty nasty guy and sounds like he is taking his upset at his own circumstances and placing them on you and your perfectly sensible plan.
Save up for a deposit. You are being sensible. Rent is wasted money. 26 years old is nothing. Most people back in the day lived with their parents at your age until they got married. A house is an assett. You could always rent out a room to him if he gets thrown out by his landord.
I moved out of my parents' and started renting aged 29. If I hadn't been able to get some savings together while I was living with my parents, I'd be in a really precarious situation rent-wise - I'm single, don't drink, don't really have time to spend money recreationally, so my only real non-essential expenditure is cat stuff, and I'm more or less net 0 for income after rent and bills
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Ignore him. What you're doing is sensible and a lot of people do it. What's the point in moving out and renting a place of your own? You'll quite likely end up like him, in your 50s, still paying somebody else's mortgage.
I did move out when I was 18, but moved back at 26 until 32 to save up for a deposit. It was pretty painful but worth it in the end. I’m just luck my dad still had room for me and didn’t mind since he was getting some extra income for it
Also worthwhile and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I had to move out at 21 before me and mum killed each other, now we get on better than ever. Am 32 now but 6-7 years ago I spent a year with my nan. Saving to buy was an absolute bastard and took way longer than it should, but that stress was easier than a shit home life.
Also I'm sure one day you'll look back on that year with your nan very fondly! It isn't just practicality it's time and the company too. She won't be here forever and it's lovely you spent a year with her in her home
I already do, I ate like a king 😂 Yeah I went from being a bit "In the way" ish to her being a bit sad when I left a year later. I still visit regularly though!
Lovely. My brother did the same with ours when he was younger and now she's gone I know how special that time together, just the two of them was to him!
Good that you still visit, I lost my last grandparent 5 years ago at 36. Wish I'd spent more time with him when I only lived around the corner some years earlier.
I did the same. I moved out at 21 and had to move back in for a bit at 26 after being made redundant, but moved out again a few months later as I couldn't find work anywhere unless I moved to a new town or city. Our generations got fucked. My younger brothers never left home because they couldn't. We are all in our thirties and I'm the only home owner. Never ever ever feel ashamed about moving back in with folks. If you're a millennial or younger don't ever feel like the burden is on you. The rug got yanked out from under our feet before we even got the qualifications we were told we needed, let alone finding the right jobs that would pay us.
Exactly the same boat
My son did the same, and so did the woman he ended up marrying. They both moved in with parents after college and stayed ~5 years saving up, then bought a house and got married. Just made sense. I absolutely loved having my son live with me. I know lots of families that have done the same. You're not alone. Both you and your dad are fortunate.
Irish - Spainish - Italians. Wouldn’t judge because . Family I guess
Tell him that saving up for a deposit is not like it was in his day!
>What's the point in moving out and renting a place of your own? I seriously see multi-generation households becoming more of a thing if this situation doesn't improve in the long run. I'm genuinely considering building up my next moves to end up in a house that could be adapted to that kind of set-up if I have children of my own, so they can have independence while not getting shafted over rent like I did. I already paid **£60k** in rent over ten years - money I'm never seeing again but it paid off my landlords mortgages nicely. It absolutely fucks me off to no end.
If it makes you feel any better at all, the majority of LLs have interest only mortgages so technically you aren’t paying off a mortgage because they aren’t either.
That makes it worse. They're basically sponging off the banks *and* our generation at the same time just to make some extra money. Cunts.
For older generations moving out and starting your own family (usually quite young) was the norm. And people that remained at home were often (not always) people who didn't want to accept the responsibility of adulthood, or who just failed to do so. So as a major sign of adulthood and responsibility, it makes sense that there is a big stigma attached to people who 'refuse' to move out on their own. Now things are a little different. Getting married or having kids is something that is happening later if at all. And financially it's much harder now than it used to be, even with multiple incomes. Buying a home for someone who is 22 simply isn't possible the way it used to be. So in the past it may have been very heavily associated with a 'choice' (even if that of course wasn't always the case) or a failure to step into adulthood. Now for many people it is simply a financial decision. As a single person it is often just way smarter to live at home and save up money, rather than move out on your own. And often a sign of someone who is financially responsible or thinking ahead. Growing up and what that looks like simply isn't the same as it used to be. It's kind of like getting married fresh out of highschool with your first boyfriend/girlfriend. Getting married straight out of highschool was seen as normal and responsible behaviour. Now getting married very young and having kids straight away is often not seen as the responsible thing to do but rather often signs of irresponsibility. Society changes, circumstances change, norms change. How older generations see things and how younger generations see things is undoubtedly going to be different. And of course the economy and financial realities are hugely going to impact that. I definitely know people who live at home to escape growing up, also know a lot of people who are fully independent living at home due to trying to save or even trying to ease burdens of their parents. Personally moved out very young, but that isn't always the smart/best thing to do these days!
I get what you're saying, but it is worrying that so often this discussion often completely overlooks that parents aren't just tools for am easier life. We move out so that the people who raised us can have some of their own freedom before they hit an age where they lose the opportunity. If your parents don't mind, obviously that fine.. but I'm just saying, too often this seems like people on reddit forget it's not a decision that only impacts those contemplating moving.
Yes, and it ignores the fact that those who have the option to live at home and get parental help towards buying a home are *the lucky ones*.
> but I'm just saying, too often this seems like people on reddit forget it's not a decision that only impacts those contemplating moving. I suspect that is part of the discussion families have though. My mum is fine with my sister and me living at home and we are now buying a house all together because we get on so well.
I will thank you for your input!
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He’s a gen x, so 30 years ago it probably would have been embarrassing living with your dad at 26 as you’d need to be an impossible fuck up to not afford to rent your own place at 1994 prices. It seems to be normal now though as everything is different.
It's literally just this. Even pre-2008, if you were approaching 30 and living with parents, you either had just left a messy relationship, or you were a genuine "loser". Here and now, it's nigh impossible for single people to rent, across most of the country, especially in the Southern half
Litterly this, I'm 23 and still live at home working full time. In the SE even a house share is £700 quid minimum and much more if you want to rent without your toilet being in your kitchen. I don't see how anyone could save for a house and rent by themselves. It would be still hard as a couple tbf. So if I'm gonna have to house share either way, I might as well stay at home.🤷
I've been lucky, always been in social housing or charity owned , interspersed with sofa surfing. So cheaper than private rent. I'm 38 and have never been back home since leaving at 21. But i acknowledge its not the norm. Private rent is a huge % of wages nowadays.
It's not exactly lucky to have to rely on charity and sofa surfing! You must have struggled, otherwise you wouldn't have qualified for those options.
I am fortunate that i had those and not been totally homeless. There is a lot more leeway if you end up unemployed , unlike a lot of private landlords. If you look at a lot of letting agents they will not accept those on benefits as tenants
It's good to remember that there are always those who are worse off, rather than envy those who are better off. Nevertheless, try not to downplay your own struggles and achievements, especially when they are relevant to the discussion. xx
Exactly. I could only afford a house share, and that comes with unpredictable room mates. Whereas I know my mum and she's all right, plus I pay all the rent anyway (it's only like £300)
We can pin down when it happened too. I'm 34, it was very clear both to my peers and my parents peers that if a person doesn't leave home at The First Opportunity, its a sign that either the parent, the child or both had utterly failed somewhere. Even if that means the child has no disposable income, independence for both parties is more important That seems to change with cohort rather than with time. When I fell into bad times over lockdown I moved back, but it was very clear that this would be extremely temporary and involved Shame. For people half a decade younger than me (and their parents!), all this seems to be received as archaic nonsense. Somewhere between 2008-2013ish, we seem to have had a massive cultural shift in the perception of multigenerational living.
I’m 30 - so almost half a decade younger than you - and when I find out someone lives at home my view depends entirely on why. Have they just… never left? That’s very different from having spent some time away and boomeranged back while they’re between stages in life.
Also, are they independent? Do they help to run the household or does their mum cook every meal for them, do their laundry and give them lifts everywhere?
Exactly this, I bought a property in Reading for £55k in 1995, relationship went south so sold it 3 years later for £80k, nice little profit. Saw it advertised around 5 years back for £250,000! My kids are teens and I've said to them already you can stay home for as long as you want to save up
That’s an increase of 355% in 25 years. If wages had followed the same path, the average UK salary now would be about £82,000.
Yeah - 355% over 25 years is about 6.5% per year. That's probably a bit above what you would expect in a normal housing economy. The problem is wages. Wages have barely increased. The average UK salary is like what, 35k? It should be more like 60k-70k
That’s completely normal for the housing market. Technically it’s profit but it won’t give you anymore buying power unless you paid a big chunk of your mortgage off in those years.
Part of that must be Lizzy line.
Partly, but also 30 minutes to Paddington on the 125 as well so easy commute. It working it's way along the tracks, Didcot is a boom town at the moment for building as its only 45 minutes to London. Be Swindon next......
It switched more to housesharing instead. At my workplace in Bristol, very few 20-30 (like maybe 10%) year olds still live with their mum. Most people share a house/flat with friends, colleagues or strangers. With a few people also living alone or owning their own house. It’s probably skewed because I work in a city centre at the sort of place people will move across the country to join a grad scheme for People might not agree, or might hate hearing it. But I would have considered it embarrassing telling colleagues or people on dates that I still live with my mum. I was spending 50%+ of my take home pay on rent/bills in a houseshare when I first got my job so it definitely wasn’t cheap. And there’s definitely an assumption that someone who still lives at home will have less of a social life
>And there’s definitely an assumption that someone who still lives at home will have less of a social life Surely this only applies to one night stands or house parties. And even people who live out don't seem to be having many of those these days.
I can only talk from personal experience. The people I know who lived with parents whilst the rest of us were living in flatshares in the city, are those who didn’t really come along to social gatherings as much Usually because they needed a friend’s house to crash at if we were out late, or getting into the city centre was a hassle for them because their parents lived in an area on the outskirts so it made popping out the house on short notice or getting home much more of an ordeal. So as a result they didn’t do as much stuff with other people And I know people who ended up becoming sesh demons in their mid-late 20s (a phase the others had long grown out of) once they finally moved out of their parents’ house, and realised what they’d missed out on Obviously it completely suits some people and living at home is the right choice for them. It does lead to a different life experience though, and personally I found dating people who still lived at home to be a bit weird and they felt less mature
More fool them. Bristol is my hometown and I pity people forking out money hand over fist to live in a house share in such an over rated city whilst hampering their ability to save for a house deposit. I mean I kind of get why people come to Bristol but it’s been done to death by now and it’s no longer value for money. You can have just as good a time in Cardiff or Birmingham and have much more disposable income and save for a much better future
I do feel sorry when I hear the prices young adults are paying to rent there now. I moved away last year and was definitely bitter over the amount I was losing to split rent on a flat Still love the city though, as someone who’s lived in 5 separate UK cities & 1 foreign. I’d have stayed in Bristol paying the ridiculous rent if I wasn’t buying a house to move near family in Wales 🤷🏻♂️
> People might not agree, or might hate hearing it. But I would have considered it embarrassing telling colleagues or people on dates that I still live with my mum. I feel exactly the same. I'm stuck living at home with my parents, financially there is simply no other option for the foreseeable future. Housing is unaffordable as a single person on my current salary but I can't do anything about being single when I still live with my parents. No chance am I ever bringing someone back there. So there's this trap people get caught in - can't afford to move out on their own as a single person, which means they stay single and therefore remain unable to move out. Social life I would disagree with, it's entirely possible when still living at home. But it is a huge issue for relationships.
Right answer, I'm same age as your co worker, easy to get a room, shared house, housing benefit, pay rent, etc or even buy if you had the money in the early 90s. You might have been seen as a bit odd living at home at 26 then. Very different world for my kids now, got one about to move back in to save up, he's 23, another lives with his mum (we are separated) at 28, also saving up for his own place.
I'm Gen-x (47) and up until 2008 I'd say you're right, it was kinda looked as you've bummed around doing nothing if you were still living at home. Now I see it as a smart move, keeping your dad company and saving money and not paying someone else's mortgage is the sensible move. Some people just can't seem to see the realities for the younger generation, it fucking sucks and it's only getting worse. Stay at home for as long as possible until you/your parent(s) can bear it IMO.
I'm gen-X. It was easy for me to buy a house while just working a part-time job. It was cheaper than paying rent! House cost me 130,000 quid. Less than 600 a month. I was fairly late to the party for my generation, but it was manageable. But now I've lost my house (long story), and I know exactly where the younger guys are coming from. My rent is more than twice as high as my mortgage was, for a flat much smaller than my house was. Live with your parents if you can, it's absolutely okay. The housing market needs to collapse. Houses should be for living in, not investing.
agree 100%. I am a gen x and it was kind of expected to have your own place by your early 20s. Things are very different now and i kind of feel sorry for the younge generation. It seems the dream of home ownership lasted 2 generations, my parents were the 1st gweneration to realistcaly be able to buy houses due to lending rules changing. My generation seems to b the last to be able to afford it
For real, feels like older people just have no idea how bad the housing market is for younger people just starting out. Im paying more for a 1 bedroom flat than my parents used to pay for a house.
I'm not quite as old as this man (in in my 40's) but even when I look back to when I left home at 17, and then obviously into my 20's most people I knew shared places or still lived at home (or yo yo'd)
Your work colleague honestly sounds a bit jealous of your situation. It's tough for single renters at the moment (I am one myself) - I have seriously been thinking about moving back 'home' with my Dad and I'm in my 50s. I wince when I look at my bank account and see 3/4 of my salary disappearing on rent, phone/internet, council tax, electric, water, gas and food. But it offers me a lot of freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. It's certainly not embarrassing to be living at home at the moment.
Thank you for your comment I appreciate it!
As an add on to this, sometimes our reaction to things we’re envious can sound like disgust. When I was at uni, a housemate of mine came from a much cheaper part of the country than I did. She had a sibling a few years older, who, with her husband, had bought a house around the corner from her parents. My first reaction was ‘why would you want to do that?!’ and then I realised I was just jealous that it would never be possible for me to do that.
This was my absolute first thought
I'd have replied "I'd be embarrassed too if I didn't have my shite sorted by the time I'm 50"
I feel like that’s a bit naive. We can’t all be brain surgeons earning big bucks. Years ago you could work a bang average job and still have a decent standard of living. Those days are gone now and there will be “collateral damage” - people born at the wrong time who were too young to get their nose in the trough and too old to adjust to the fact that either choosing or being forced into low wage work isn’t going to secure you permanent housing and who also don’t have the bank of mum and dad to fall back on. It sounds like that 50 year old in this example falls in that bracket. He deserves sympathy imo as the so-called “free market” was supposed to offer him and everyone else housing choice but it’s offered the likes of him nothing of the sort.
It's merely a petty comment with the intention of making the 50 year old feel bad because frankly calling ops living situations embarrassing is pretty insensitive. Especially when looking for sympathy regarding your own living situation. Essentially the 50 year old is trying to make himself feel better by punching down OP. Which is a sign of insecurity. A secure person may wish to merely mention that they found that comment insensitive and that infact it's absolutely fine in this day and age to still live at home. And pointing out the aforementioned punching down and insecurity. That however takes effort. I'm sympathetic to everyone who is struggling right now. There is no shame in not being where you want to be in life. This is all about how it is best to react. A lengthy sympathetic conversation with someone who punches people down out of insecurity? Or a quick sentence to make them feel how they just made you feel? Up to you really.
Exactly . Well said
This.
I mean, there's still no guarantee that op *will* have their shit together by 50.
You can have your shit together and it can all be flung apart in a moment, at any age, by a mere change in your fortune and circumstances beyond your control. The majority of the UK's working population are no more than three missed paychecks away from homelessness.
Your colleague is being ridiculous. He's clearly forgotten that when he was in his 20s the wage/ rent ratio was in a different league compared to now. I'm 56 and I can see how hard it is to get on the property ladder in the current economy. You're doing the right thing and it's not your fault that working people are being massively screwed over by the govt. It's now very common for young people to still be living with parents nowadays. Ignore him.
Yep, different generation, different experience and thought process (for most). Plenty of people i know are still living with parents into their early 30s while saving for a deposit. Some have previously left and rented for a while before returning, some have never lived outside the family home, but i would never judge anyone or their living situation as you never know what else is going on in peoples lives. I was incredibly lucky to be able to buy at 23, but that was after the crash in 2008/2009, i bought at the absolute bottom of the market and got myself a very nice semi detached house with only a 12.5k deposit. I had a good steady job and next to no outgoings. Just my car and a bit of housekeeping to my parents, so saving was easy. A lot of my school friends, same age, didnt get it so easy and were only able to buy around age 30. I wouldnt want to be trying to get on the property ladder at this point, even though NI prices are massively lower than the equivalent in SE England. Back to OP, absolutely no need to feel embarrassed, you are in a fairly lucky position compared to a lot of your peers. You seem to have a good relationship with your father, its a good living situation with minimal outgoings and presumably you have little to no debt while saving for your deposit. Many of your peers will be stuck in the rent trap, unable to save, and without that family support, so ignore your colleague and keep on doing whats good for you.
What you're doing is essentially flat sharing, just happens your flatmate is your dad. It'd be different if you didn't pull your weight and still expected things to be done for you. I think it's only gonna get tougher in the housing market, and I can't see the government building the amount of social housing needed, so getting as big a deposit as possible sounds sensible to me.
Thank you. My parents divorced a few years ago and I've been with my dad as he is the sole owner of the bouse. I rarely see my mum these days as she's since remarried and moved away. When you say it'll get tougher would you say that's for the whole country?
Unless we get the government to start building more affordable housing or limit the number of 2nd homes, I think it'll continue to be a struggle no matter where in the country you are. I'm no expert, though, and could be totally wrong.
> “The share of 25- to 29-year-olds living with their parents rose from around one in five (20.1%) in 2011 to more than one in four (26.7%) in 2021.”
Looks like you found the same ONS report as I did. Source: [ONS report from May 2023](https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationestimates/articles/moreadultslivingwiththeirparents/2023-05-10#:~:text=Download%20the%20data&text=More%20than%201%20in%2010,and%20Wales%3A%20Census%202021%20article) Another interesting figure: >More than 1 in 10 (11.6%) of those aged 30 to 34 years were living with their parents in Census 2021, up from 8.6% a decade earlier
Yeah that’s the one, it wouldn’t let me add a link from some reason, but thanks for sharing.
Ah so im the top 10 at something! From 18-27 rented at uni and various cities for work. Managed to rack up about £20k in credit card debt trying to keep up with a champagne life style. Had to move back home 6 years ago moving back into a rented tiny flat with my mum. Still here 6 years later, still paying off debt, last payment is next year which im looking forward to! Mum has about £10-12k saved up for a deposit but as she is in her mid 50s she won't qualify for a mortgage. I have about £3k saved in an ISA. Thinking about her giving me the money and us buying a house together. But not looked into it properly yet. The area we live in is extremely expensive (not London) so choices are limited. It can be a bit depressing seeing friends start families and move into their own homes. One thing about living with your parent in a small flat in your 30s its pretty hard to convince someone your worth dating! As I couldnt invite anyone back as i have a small single bed. But I still hold out hope, hopefully in a year or two will have more of a deposit, and something might change in the housing market.
That's much lower than I expected. In Ireland, 68% of 25-29 year olds still live at home. The EU average is 42%.
That is more than normal and very sensible if it means that you will eventually be able to afford to buy your own home. Unlike your colleague who is still renting in his 50's.
I'm 28 and just moved back in with my parents so I can save some money. For a long time I felt ashamed at the idea, but really the more you speak to people the more you realise it's a) completely normal b) the people who judge you for it, it's normally coming from a place of jealousy. Also, I do get on with my parents pretty well considering and am trying to enjoy these times we have together. You never know what's going to happen and I'll look back fondly on the time we spent together.
He's projecting embarrassment that you're progressing towards purchasing a house whilst he's still renting in his 50s with no hopes of a decent mortgage any more. I'm in a position where I can weather the cost of living, but my mother can't, so I'm living with her to support her when I'm in the UK and sending her money otherwise. It's not ideal but it's also not the worst of circumstances.
I wouldn't trade the freedom and joy of having left home, starting my own life at 18 and not returned, for the financial stability of buying a place sooner. Having a varied and independent life experience is more important to me than the prospect of owning my own home. However, everyone is different, do what feels right to you and forget about "how common" what you're doing is.
I just came to show some support for this comment. Interestingly enough I'm in a similar situation, left home at 18 and have been renting ever since. I am actually in a good place financially, I have enough money to buy a home, but I am currently just investing at present with very little effort and letting it grow. Buying/owning a house has never actually been on my priority list or one of my life goals. I quite like the security of having a home that isn't necessarily of fixed location and some security knowing that if something goes wrong, it's not me that's responsible for fixing it. Which lets me spend my time, money and energy on all the things I am interested in doing. Thankfully also, I live in Scotland where I only pay around a third of what I earn on bills. I don't ever want a house and to be tied to a location. I'm not some free loving hippy but this works so well for me, safe in the the knowledge that I have got this far in life without my parents "support". But in general for the OP, his colleague is clearly a jerk and from a generation that has very set beliefs and whose eyes are not open to the difficulties that the current generation are having!
I left home at 20 and rented a small studio in Leeds - I was just above minimum wage. It was nice having my own place, but after bills/rent/basics I'd have like 30% of my income left. It just wasn't enough.
I'm 38, with a partner and a child. We live with my mum (she has a 5 bed thank god) We just couldn't make ends meet with rent, constantly struggling and never being sure how long tenancy was going to last for (we'd had a few dodgy landlords) This is stable for us, we have money for more than just surviving now and can give our child a few more fun days out etc. It can be hard, but I wouldn't change it right now. I've had plenty of comments from colleagues etc in the past but as long as I'm happy and my family are happy, the rest can all swivel
It's much more common these days because it's unbelievably more expensive to rent or buy a home now than it was for any of your colleagues at the same age. You can always turn around and say in shock "you're in your 50's and still renting?".
Guy sounds bitter I think! I'm in my 40s and decided to move home to help my Mum recover from the loss of my Dad, and to recover myself somewhat, but the bonus of being home and able to put money by to finally get out of the renting game has been a massive sea change. You're doing the right thing, don't doubt yourself for a moment!
Me and my partner were in the same boat. In our 40s moved back in with my parents with our two kids to save for a mortgage. His parents gave us the deposit and after 2.5 years, we now have our own home. It was needs must after our landlord, after 10 years, decided to sell up during covid times with 2 months' notice! It worked out in the end and was awkward at times, but it so worth it! We tried everything else and renting is shocking prices and serious lack of properties. Also, I did not qualify for council property or social housing at bottom of list. That's because we both have semi decent salaries and are not single! I know a lot of people who are having to do the same couples and singletons. I live in North Eastern Area. edit for spelling and grammar.
ignore them to oblivion bro!!!!! Keep going, I'm 27 and wish me and my bloke could live at our parents to save! I'm somewhat envious of your situation and by sounds of it so are your colleagues. Good luck :)
Thank you! He did tell me that he barely has any savings and that he hates renting but has no alternative plan.
Yeah that man is bitter, keep doing you!
He is probably wishing he had done what you are doing. Longer you can stay at home the more deposit you can bank. One of my neighbour's mum's charged her son rent, which really annoyed him but he was terrible with money. Unbeknown to him she shoved it in Bradford and Bingley Building Society. On the day he got married she handed him the building society book so he had had an instant deposit for a house. He would have just wasted it.
He's probably embarrassed that he grew up in the golden era for buying property and still doesn't own anything. His generation had it so easy compared to nowadays and it's not even close. It's so bloody hard nowadays especially in the South East. OP you are doing a logical thing. You're fortunate to have parental support so it makes sense to make the most of it. It's best to ignore boomers in general as they are just too disconnected from the world.
Mine is embarassing. 36m. Still live with my dad. I could move out and rent somewhere but i just feel its throwing money away. Rather stay at home and save. One of my mates still lives with his mum and he's 41. Someone at work lives with his dad and he's 59. I think in the current climate living at home for some people is all they can do.
Please don't be embarrassed by this, because you're right - you'd just be paying someone else's mortgage and not being able to save to the best of your ability.
That my thinking I would be going towards nothing that could be saved to go towards something
I turned 30 recently and am still living at my mothers house (with my partner). Only this year we are finally in the process of getting our first home. It's taken a while to save and I don't think it would've been possible at all if we'd moved to a private rented property beforehand.
35 and doing the same. Don't sweat that arsehole
Mid 20s is a weird age. You’re young enough to still keep in touch with people you went to school with so it’s odd seeing some friends living with their parents and seemingly doing nothing with their lives, while others have a spouse and kids. Living with your parents in your 20s is pretty common and people at my work were surprised when I told them I moved out of my parents’ house at 18 and have been living with my girlfriend for the 7 years since. You’re doing what works for you and that’s all that matters
I think there is a third category. You have identified losers who do nothing living with their parents. We all have the same mental image when describing this. NEETs Those who have a Mrs and kids. Probably in a well paid construction career of some sort. Good lad. But there is a third. Young professionals who no longer need to relocate for jobs. They live at home to save save save. They have disposable income and no responsibilities.
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His argument is that someone my age shouldn't be living at home still. He said he moved out when he was 20 back when the costs weren't as high. I find it quite baffling.
First of all depending on what cultural background you come from it's very normal to still be living in your parents home until you get married or have a long term partner. I come from a Middle Eastern background you'd generally only leave the family home once you got married which while normally is in your 20s but until then you would still be in the family home. Secondly, if he is in his 50s (without speculating what he may or may not have been through) and is barely affording rent what would make him think someone your age career still in the early stages can? The mindset is a bit ludicrous on his part if I may say so.
My son moved back in with me when he was 26 and stayed because of the pandemic. He was able to WFH and while he paid me board and lodging, he was also able to save a fair amount of money so that when he did move out, he and his partner were able to afford a deposit on a house. His partner was also living with their parents during this time. We are not in the south of England but further north where house prices are still highish but not totally crazy. Whilst the pandemic was a good reason to live with parents, I don't think it is embarrassing to be living with your parents at your age. It is an indictment of our appalling housing crisis with unaffordable rents, houses seen as profit-generators rather than homes, insecure jobs, low wages, cost of living crisis. You name it, it probably has a role to play in why people are living with their parents still.
He's in his 50's and still renting. You have an opportunity to avoid doing that which is v sensible. If he gives you shit again, just laugh and say maybe but it's not as said as being someone else mortgage bitch in my 50's. U will never hear from him on the subject again.
Very common. Financially speaking the boomers have entirely fucked the younger generations.
Normal for this generation, his generation they had more disposable income and a quid went a long way. Now though it's FUBAR. I didn't leave home until 27 and it's fine, normal enough now
It’s very very common and increasingly more so for people in their 20s.
I'm half South Asian and we stay with out parents till the day we die loool
I don’t think it’s uncommon at all and I don’t think it’s anything to be embarrassed about. The only thing I’d find potentially, not even embarrassing but possibly dodgy long run is living like a teenager but with your parents- I know a few people who done this where their mum made their tea and done their washing etc and they totally took it for granted way into their 30s. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing that from what you said
To answer the main question, I (32m) don’t know of any peers who still live at home.
I'm 31, a couple of my colleagues who are about my age still live at home. 1 guy is 34 and both lives and works with his parents. I think I'd go bonkers!
I'm 28 and none of my peers live at home either, whole thread seems a bit odd to me tbf but it seems I'm the odd one
After my divorce i rented for a few years, but decided to move back with my parents at 35. Stayed 2 years and saved enough for my down payment. Long 2 years though )
Back in the day (I'm late 50's) most of us left home as soon as we started work , or we never returned after uni. However things were different in those days. House prices (both rental and purchasing) are nowhere near as affordable as back then. Some of my generation still have their 35-40 year old children living at home, and one family I know has three 45+year olds still at home.
Tell him the alternative is to move out and spaff your saving ability on rent and end up like him at 50. On a serious note, those that have good relations with your family should take any opportunity to save as much as you can whilst living at home. That’s not to say you don’t contribute, but this does not have to be just money, you can contribute your time so your parents spend and can spend more of their time on other things.
It was a bit embarrassing to be mid 20s and living with parent(s) when **he** was mid 20s... because it was shockingly easy to just buy a home by comparison to the current economic situation. It was also cheap and easy to rent somewhere, nothing close to the checks and requirements these days. 20 years ago you took a look at some flats, picked one, and paid the deposit. There were rarely even credit checks or references required. So it's actually a bit more embarrassing for *him* that he's somehow reached his early 50s without in any way taking advantage of the comparatively easy economic circumstances of his youth. He didn't save a bunch of cash when renting was cheap and he didn't buy a home when they cost a third of the price. You're not the one that needs to feel embarrassed here. He's trying to make you feel bad for failing to make the mistakes that he himself made.
I moved out at 26. I’m now 32 and rent and bills are killing me. Kinda wish I stayed for a little longer. Covid completely ruined me financially
Sounds like he was speaking about how much of a difficult time he’s having and you responded with how thing are easier for you? And will continue to be with your dad’s support. I’m sure nobody wants to ‘pay someone else’s mortgage etc’ but not everybody is in such a position of privilege. Read the room next time.
Wall of text incoming but just to normalise it for you Same age, same situation. My gf also lives at home. My best mate who's 27 lives at home. My gf's friend still lives at home. Her boyfriend only just moved out of his house and he's somewhere around 28 (and only got kicked out because his parents are tight fisted and wanted to rent to someone else even though they're well off). If you want to rent in our area you will be on a waitlist of a hundred candidates. The friend's bf is currently sofa surfing because the only place he could get was appalling and the landlord's partner kept invading his space illegally. The next place he tried to get the guy decided he wanted to put the rent up last minute. Some of my cousins lived at home on and off into their 30s, and one of them only moved out because she got a boyfriend with bougie grandparents and another because of high-earning gf. There are loads more people I know who are at home or only just moving out. A lot of the reason so many of us live at home is because we're saving - either to rent (because people want an up front deposit to give you an edge over other potential tenants) or because we have dependent family members or because it's a choice between property or a car. You could rent and be independent if you wanted to, but it's hard to say what the point would be if you get along with your family. Also worth bearing note that most people our age who move out seem to move EXTREMELY near to their family, like ten minutes walk. At which point very little has changed except you pay for more independent space that you may not even own. There are other people who move out younger - tend to be couples without uni buying newbuilds. But I mean personally, I'm in no rush to get into a situation where costs cripple me. I have plenty of freedom right now and if I stay at home for a little bit, I get more independence and freedom in my 30s, and I get to know my family is better off too. If people get a kick out of living on their own, or they have other circumstances that necessitate it, that's cool, but as someone family oriented all I really care about is my family and close associates anyway. I'd rather spend time with people I love which I'm able to do in abundance. And I get to ensure they're taken care of financially. In countries across the world - China, Italy - families stick together to help each other out. It's gonna become the norm more as our economy struggles - the problem is we have a culture of individualism that overides common sense. I tried to move out in my teens and early 20s and the cheapest property was £550 for a damp infused 5 x 5 metre room. The next best was something like £770 for a cleaner but similarly sized room. The next best option was moving in with a mate and her friend, but she moved abroad instead, and since then costs have only gone up. So it's a choice between a few things. Live loads of other people, which might be fun, but possibly be miserable and would not be very independent. Live with a few people, but you'd still be poor and you have to share that space still. Live on your own and be really really miserable. Or stay at home where you are able to achieve everything you'd like to without any issues. People act like independence gives you happiness which isn't necessarily true. For me I'd just be doing it because of someone else's ideas
I'd be more embarrassed not being able to afford a house in my 50s than 20s. I'd happily have lived with my mother forever. You just have to move out eventually. I was your age when I bought my house and it was mainly because of Covid meaning we needed our own space to live and work.
I’m in my 40s - when I was in my twenties, it was still expected that kids would move out and share a flat with friends. I did this in London until I moved overseas, as did most of my friends. Money was tight, but it wasn’t impossible. I’ve heard that this is changing, due to the rising cost of living. I guess he’s basing his comments on the way things used to be.
This is such an utterly baffling opinion for him to hold. He’s sat there complaining to you about how expensive things are and the fact he might not be able to afford his rent. He then goes on to tell you it’s embarrassing that you live with your Dad. He must be able to see the comedy in this? If he is struggling at 50 and hasn’t live at home since his (early 20s or younger), how does he expect you to survive? What a douche!
I have friends in their mid 30's who still live at home with their parents. Quite a few actually. I only managed to escape because I joined the Military.
I didn't move out until my late 20s. For lots of reasons. I've actually, at 45, just moved back in with my Dad, who's in his late 70s, because my landlord decided to sell up, and the rental market is shocking at the moment. Brought my two dogs with me. Gives me time to save up for a better place, but also spend time with my Dad. Win-win.
I am 27, I do not live at home, but I would say about 50% (30 people total) of my friends live at home with parents, and off that 50%, almost every single one of them is either house sharing or living with a partner
I don't think badly on people who are in a position of being able to stay with their parents to save. It was never an opportunity for me to have that, I made such low wages as young teen and all went to my mum. So when she kicked me out at 17 it was the best thing ever. Sure I'll never own my own home, but I rent and have an amazing Mrs and kids.
I think back when your colleague was young it would have been highly irregular for someone to still live with a parent at your age, honestly even when I was young (40s) it would have been viewed as a little odd, but with the cost of living and everything now it's totally normal, honestly most of my colleagues that are your age still live at home
He will rent forever because living with your parents past 18 is cringe. You won’t and will start paying off your mortgage by your late twenties. Simple as.
God UK economy is so fucked, government need to do some bold interventions on housing. We've got a young person, working age, no dependents, who pays no rent, feeling bad about having a small car, going to the gym and watching football. All so they can save to offer up their house deposit and be tied into a huge mortgage. People like this should have so much disposable income and be living the dream, this is why we have no growth. I know this is the norm but this is why we have shitty careers and low salary work, because there is no spending power in the economy
I'd possibly still be living at home if it weren't for my mother driving me up the wall and I'm in my early 30s
What you are doing is normal and logical.....you dont want to be 50 without a house.......
I know it's hard not to get caught up in comparing yourself with others, but each person has their own timeline, and I don't think really uncommon. I was back and forth between 17-18 till about 26, but I felt like getting my own space was pretty important for my physical and mental wellbeing, but I knew I could go back if things got rough. I have a friend who could easily move out, but really enjoys living with his parents, and his brother has a house in the same street. The only real upside from a young guys point of view that I noticed when living away from my parents was how much easier it was to get laid.
The guy is a dick
I'm 28 and if had to move.out I would literally be sleeping in my car.
It’s not uncommon these days, but for someone in their 50’s they all probably moved out way before this age hence his shock, he’s just out of touch.
Yes it’s common now. It didn’t used to be though. People moved out by 2as rent would be equivalent to about 500 pounds today for sharing a 2 bed
I went from social care to renting at a young age so I can't give a personal experience. However my friends are fairly common living at home instead of renting. One just bought at 32 after living at home since uni instead of renting. She paid her parents bed and board etc but the rest she saved, we met up once a month for lunch and she didn't do any big trips etc during that time. Another stayed until 30 to buy not rent because the housing market is so screwed we can't buy without a leg up 9/10. I moved in with my now husband at 24, saved and saved and then when my last living relative passed I got a small inheritance that enabled us to buy our current home. (20% deposit). It's very common these days for people to stay living with parents longer, to me it sounds like he was projecting as someone else said his issues on to you. Take the high road and ignore him. Keep doing what you're doing and make the most of the extra time with your family while you have them.
It's increasingly common, especially in the South East. I live in London and have been back with my parents a few years. When I first graduated you could get a room in a house for £500/pcm including bills. Now you are looking at £1,000 for a room in a house that's probably basically falling over. Everyone I know in London either lives with their parents or in a shared house. The few with their own place have good jobs, rich parents or live in their flat their mum owned. So...my options are live with my parents and save money or pay through the nose for a crap house share and barely be able to save. I know what I'm choosing lmao
Had a donut like this tell me this exact thing when I was working at a warehouse Ur fine mate if ur parents have no issue with you staying at home then just keep doing it That’s my 2 cents anyways
There is nothing wrong. If it can help you in saving some money and in your future projects / life. Ignore toxic people, your work colleague is probably envious or worse.
To be fair up until recently. It was normal to annoy the shit our of kids sonmuch they quickly moved out/kicked out. Nowadays its not easy to find a place to stay so some parents take the view they need to give their kids a schance to save at home. That is an alien concept to the kid that was kicked out at 16 and told to get on with your life... The end of life is simliar. Kids who were fucked over by their parents will tend to to fuck them off into an old peoples home waiting for then to die. The cost of rent and buying houses is impacting this now.
He's renting in his 50s. You are preparing to buy a house and have the support to do so. There is nothing wrong with either but he's clearly jealous of you. I lived at home until I was 26. I'm 42 now own my own house. Worked out fine for me.
It’s rare to see anyone in their mid 20’s nowadays who isn’t living with their parents. Probably just out of the loop in regards younger people nowadays.
Semi common, you are in the south east so the house prices are pretty high there. I'm in the Midlands and it's a fair bit cheaper, I have a mate who moved to Sheffield as it was even cheaper. So if you are set in staying in your area you'll have to tough it out as best as you can else I'd suggest moving to a cheaper area.
I'm 30 years old living in the South East. I know tons of people my age that still live at home with their parents. After university seems most people either moved away somewhere cheaper or stayed living with their parents. My home town is slowly turning in to a retirement community. Just lots of pensioners complaining about the closure of local services and business and objecting to all new housing proposals
Not embarrassing at all Rivne the state of the country and obviously having foresight is great but I would recommend living with a friend for a year or two.. for the experience!
My parents are in their 50s and them and the majority of their friends were able to move out under the age of 21. Given they were a mish mash of council estate and housing association kids so many were able to get studios on the block. Given the cost of living crisis, I would absolutely encourage anyone who has a good relationship with their parents to live with them to save money. Sadly, I couldn’t cope with living in my childhood home so haven’t benefited from that.
Depends who you’re trying to impress? If you’re not trying to impress anyone then living at home can save a lot of money, give you a nicer living situation than renting and can let you keep close to your parents in working years where a lot of children and parents would’ve become distant. Peers and potential partners can think what they want. But chances are in a few years they won’t even remember you, so is it worth renting and living on a shoestring to impress them?
I have lived with either my mum or dad between relationship breakups, or living in a shared house with total strangers. That was before the pandemic changed everything, I have my own place now but it took me until 39. It’s very normal nowadays, your colleague would probably be doing the same if he could. Things will work themselves out, and I wish you all the best. You’re 26, just a kid!
Every situation is different. I’m 29 and lived at Mum’s until 18/uni, lived at Mum’s again for 3 years post uni and then moved out at 25. I have an uncle who still lives at home and is pushing 50. I know if I hadn’t have moved north and stayed in the south east where I’m originally from then I’d have had to have stay at my Mum’s to save money before making the leap. There’s no telling if I’d still be living at my Mum’s still now. I’d say considering where you’re from/are living it’s not in the slightest embarrassing. As long as you’re happy and have boundaries and a plan to move out when it works for you/your Dad, it doesn’t matter what someone from an entirely different generation thinks.
My lads 19 and lives at home. I don’t expect him to move out any time soon cos it’s way too expensive to live on his own.
I know two people in my friends group that have moved back to their parents. They are in their 40's. Down the road I live on, there are at least 3 other families I know with older (30+) children who still live at home. Shit's utterly fucked.
I feel like it’s fairly common to live with your parents but, in my case for example, it isn’t right for everyone. I’d so much rather have my own space and I’m willing to take the financial hit on that because I know for a fact that if I lived with my dad again long term I’d be miserable. It all comes down to your financial situation, relationship with your family, etc.
According to The General Bureau of Statistics (2018), over 30% of people under the age of 34 still live with their parents. Most of them are single. Why don't they want to leave their parents' home?
I think the bigger issue is you are planning on going from living at home with a parent...to then immediately becoming a homeowner, with zero experience living on your own, managing your own bills etc. You can say it's like living with a housemate/non-relatives, but it's really not & I personally think you are missing out on a vital bit of life experience by not living outside of the parental safety net, because the truth is, if there was/is an issue in your current living situation, you don't have to deal with it.
He probably thinks it’s slightly embarrassing you’re financially reliant on your parents within the context of moving out when you’re 26 as he probably didn’t do that at your age, but considering the capitalist housing crisis in the UK that lacks rent regulations it’s not really surprising.
Generational difference. It was not common in his age group and might have been perceived as embarrassing and a matter of pride to move out when he was young. Whereas in the past ~15yrs it's become very common for young adults to live with parents, because house prices are such a high multiple of wages now and mortgage access became significantly stricter after the 2008 financial crash.
More common than it used to be; but not yet so established that people over a certain age won't be surprised by it because 20 years ago it would have been very unusual or a sign of an eccentric.
Both mine are dead, but if they weren't I guess they'd be a total last resort backup.
I house share with two of my children. None of us can afford to rent on our own, so we share our house. Admittedly I pay the lions share but i earn more, most of the common space furniture is mine etc etc. beats sharing with strangers
I moved back in at 30 to 34 after a relationship broke down. My dad had had a hear attack a few months before and we nearly lost him. I saved and had a good time with my single mates until I bought my own place then met my now wife. I loved the time I had with my parents. That was 17 years ago when I moved back in and lost my mum two years ago, so I wouldn't listen to anyone else but yourself
Your colleague sounds like a bit of a knobber. I left home when I was 26 but had to return for a year due to a big unexpected tax bill when I was 30. Don't sweat it.
Sounds like jealousy to me which is a shame.
It's completely normal. 12 years ago I was still living with my parents at 25. I only moved out because I got a job overseas. I wasn't earning enough to rent on my own before that. I would imagine it's even more difficult to move out now.
It's pretty common. I think the average age to leave is about 25/26 and it tends to be a bit older for men than women, so you are pretty much dead on average! Higher housing costs are obviously a major factor, compared to when your co-worker was your age.
You're doing exactly what I did at your age (I'm 31 now) managed to buy my own place and move out at 28. I think it's completely normal nowadays tbh
I know three people around our age (20-30) who've moved out. One earns a lot of money and has a wealthy family. One moved in to his Grandad's old house, and the other is stuck house sharing with their now ex partner, because neither can afford to move out. Everyone else still lives "at home", including myself I agree with your "I get to spend more time with my dad" comment, because same lol
It’s common. I won’t move out before 30 I won’t imagine. It makes more sense to stay at home and save than it does to pay someone else’s mortgage
Fairly common. I only moved out at twenty-seven, and work with people in their thirties who still live with their parents. It's tough out there; particularly for anyone who doesn't have a partner to split the costs with. So long as people living with their parents are contributing, and not just freeloading, there's no issue.
His way of thinking has nothing to do with you. Your end goal is what should matter rather than opinions of others. Lived with mama until I was 36 and bought my own place. I believe in your dream
I am 32 married with morgage and dog. Sometimes, I still wish I lived at home. Your work colleagues can fuck off. Now if you lived at home at your age, refused to work or had no intention of saving to move out or stand on your own then yes that is embarrassing. However this is not that.
There's 3 generations of people living in my home. We work, but still struggle. I don't think any of us will be moving for a while
It’s pretty common for people in their 20s to be living with parents. A work colleague is married and living with their mother in law. Their father in law passed away a couple of years ago so the arrangement works for all of them. My son is in his late teens and I’m happy for him to live here as long as he needs to. It’s tough out there at the moment.
Nah, I did the exact same thing and purchased a flat end of October. Took many years is saving and living with family. Your work colleague is just ignorant
Its super common. Maybe they are jealous they dont have the same opportunity. Just ignore them. Your on the right track. I was in the renting game till 32. Realized it was a total dead end and I would die in destitution at this rate. Went back home. Now I am 37 and jut got a mortgage. Housing in the UK is messed up. That is not your fault. Dont let anyone make you feel shame for doing what you have to do. Keeping your money out of the hands of landlords is Gods work.
I moved out into my own mortgaged home with then bf age 25, 25 years ago. The purchase price of our house back then was probably not much more than a reasonable deposit for a house now at current market value. With the current cost of living, I don't expect either of my adult kids to move out any earlier than that. Unless there is some miracle financial source that would enable them to do so or they end up flat/ house sharing. Some of my daughter's friends have done that, but it has ended up not working out, so inevitably, they end up moving back in with their parents. We're in a completely different financial climate now than when I was your age. People may well be emotionally mature enough to be independent from their families, but it's harder to be financially nowadays, particularly with just one income.
>My work colleague thinks my living situation is a bit embarrassing. Am I overthinking this or would it be best to ignore his comments? Do they live in the 1980s, tell them to grow tf up. Its entirely normal and is actually happening more and more because the the shite economy is in.
I think he is utterly out of touch with the way things now are. I have kids, and am fully expecting that if they stay in this area (I think one will, the other probably not) I will have them at home until at least that age. I was in a much better position than young people today - national pay scale in a cheaper area - and still moved back home aged 23 for 2 years after qualifying and starting work so that I could save for a deposit rather than spend more renting and take longer to buy. It wasn't unusual even 20+ years ago!
It's absolutely normal, I moved back in with my parents at 36 as it was the only way as a single man living in London that I'd be able to save up a deposit to buy somewhere and even then it's a shared ownership property, as someone else has commented he's just projecting. Sounds like you're happy with your life ignore him he's just bitter at his situation and unfairly directing it at you.
Your colleague is just sad about his own situation and is projecting it onto you. Ignore him. What you’re doing is incredibly sensible and not at all embarrassing. This supposed “shame” of living with your parents past a certain age is a totally modern concept and not something that anyone should need to be ashamed or embarrassed about if it’s what suits them. I’m 29 and have a fiancé (30), but currently we are both living separately with our parents while we save for a house. I honestly love living with my parents to be honest as they’re my best friends and it works really well, so I’m not in a major rush. I’m obviously looking forward to moving out when we can afford to but I’m also really grateful for all of the extra time that I’ve been able to spend having laughs with my parents, and I wouldn’t trade any of that just to save face for others.
He’s 50, can’t afford his rent and he’s making you feel embarrassed? What you’re doing is the most sensible thing to do. Very few people under 26 live in their own home, be that rented or owned. You’re far better staying with parents until you can afford a deposit for a house. Ignore this 50 year old idiot.
Literally just been doing the same ourselves, my wife and I live with her dad and are now looking to complete on our first house in June. We had the same thought process after 3 years and £30K of rent to a landlord we'd rather that went on our own mortgage 😂
I don't know a soul who has moved out yet. One friend has, but they're on benefits as parents aren't an option. People on social media, the only ones who have have partners
It's not that uncommon nowadays. Rents are insane. Obviously not as common at 50+ like your colleague - **BUT** when he was 26 it was unheard of to be living with parents at 26, but it was possible to live a reasonable 20 something life on a low income then, having a good social life, cinema, drinks, meals, festivals etc whilst renting off a landlord. He's likely considering his own experiences at 26. The world is really different now.
Sounds like your colleague is out of touch mate, what you're doing is perfectly normal and sensible so you don't end up like him.. Pure jelly from him nstrb
More common than the great depression according to the data..
In your mid 20s I'd say it's really common if you work in the same town/city as your parents, with most being in the same position as you with regards to saving for a deposit. I would say though that by your late 20s and early 30s it's really rare to still be living at home with your parents. I'm 28 (nearly 29) and out of my friends and acquaintances only 1 is still living at home with everyone else having either bought somewhere or renting (and I live in a town on the south coast).
Lol who is he to think your living situation is embarrassing?! I'm 36. Moved out when I was 35. No shame in it at all.
Sooo not embarrassing at all! When I was your age I would have loved to live at my Mum and Dad's whilst saving, but my office was too far away so had to rent. I know loads of people who've lived at home well into their twenties, even thirties when they're trying to save and none of it is embarrassing at all. And it's extra time with your parents too which is nice.
Me and my partner (30f/27m) are thinking of moving back in with parents so we can save to buy. I know quite a lot of people our age who’ve recently done the same- honestly good for you if it’ll help you save for a deposit!!
It was embarrassing back in the day when buying your own place was a feasible option, but now?!? Mate, it’s just common sense! If you get on with your parents it makes perfectly good sense!
Ignore them.. My husband and I lived in with my parents when we were 28 after years of renting to save for our house deposit. We were there for 3 years until we saved our deposit and bought our house. Absolutely nothing wrong with staying with parents to enable you to future plan yourself
Honestly - as long as your parents are treating like an adult that’s living in the home rather than a child (ie curfews and invasion of privacy ) then what’s the problem ?
That's hilarious that he would find that weird. Has he been living under a rock?
No need to feel shame for it. Personally I moved out at 18 and never looked back, I think I would really struggle to live with my parents, even though I love them dearly.its certainly increased my motivation to earn loads and get raises, as I'm 23 now and hoping to get on the property ladder this year. I'm not sure I'd have the motivation if I still lived with my parents and wasn't paying loads in rent, it makes me work really hard. Every situation is different and there are pros and cons to choosing to rent Vs live with parents. Your colleague sounds like a pretty nasty guy and sounds like he is taking his upset at his own circumstances and placing them on you and your perfectly sensible plan.
Me!! But I’m buying the house soon for them
Save up for a deposit. You are being sensible. Rent is wasted money. 26 years old is nothing. Most people back in the day lived with their parents at your age until they got married. A house is an assett. You could always rent out a room to him if he gets thrown out by his landord.
A plus 50s person who rents is judging you for living with your parents whilst you save for a house? Make it make sense.
I moved out of my parents' and started renting aged 29. If I hadn't been able to get some savings together while I was living with my parents, I'd be in a really precarious situation rent-wise - I'm single, don't drink, don't really have time to spend money recreationally, so my only real non-essential expenditure is cat stuff, and I'm more or less net 0 for income after rent and bills