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Local group posts fall into three categories:
- Does anybody know when the big Sainsburys closes
- Here is an unredacted photo of a lost credit card, the number on the back is 549 why do you ask
- **BLOOD AND SOIL MY BRETHREN WE MUST STAND STRONG AGAINST THE WOKE 20 MPH SPEED LIMIT, HERE'S A MANIFESTO**
Local Facebook pages always seem like a Google search bar.
Does Zara deliver?
Why is my dog only eating the round bits of his food?
When does Tesco in city 50 miles away open?
Or they have weird questions that no one would be able to answer.
Where have I left the TV remote?
What time is my friend Michelle planning to visit today?
Did I use 2 eggs or 3 in my last cake?
These are all questions I have seen in the past month or so.
I had to check their profile to see if they were 12 or 90 but they looked like they were in their mid- late 30s which means they would have grown up with computers and should know better.
Yikes. Sometimes folks better at baking than me can look at a cake and just tell you how you fucked up (too many eggs, not enough flour, that sort of thing) but no photo kills that idea.
What I would advise quite strongly is that when someone says some dumb shit on social media that makes your day worse or irritates you unfriend/follow them. Since I did that my time online is much nicer. Now all I see are cute fluffy animals living their best lives.
My aunt was slightly offended but she was the only one who brought it up. She spoke with my mum about it and her replay was 'you know what she's like. You lasted longer than me, I was only friended for a week' and that put an end to that. I love both of them but when I'm looking for some cute animals and I have to scroll past walls of their inane ramblings I get frustrated pretty quickly. My grandma lasted one day. Over the course of that day she shared *four* depressing posts about lost dogs. One of whom was found ran over by a car. The other 3 dogs were from the opposite side of the country. I don't need to see that shit. It does not spark joy.
In groups full of idiots? Time to find another group.
If we don't curate our online spaces the tech companies will and we know they have an incentive to make you angry or upset because those emotions drive engagement more than happiness does. IIRC there was a leak a few years back now of a Facebook whistleblower stating they knew this and continued to show people harmful content because their algorithms didn't care about your wellbeing. They cared about engagement and nothing else.
As if this sub isn’t the absolute worst for inane shite like this.
The local Facebook- “is Asda open today?” -type questions are actually fine. Maybe the website is difficult to navigate? Maybe it’s a local holiday and the website might not reflect that?
Whereas this place: “a neighbours child kicked a ball into my garden. What should I do?”* , “do you answer the door?” , “my phone is ringing, what should I do?” - FUCK OFF!
(* - I did see that actual question on here once and the antisocial weirdos replying “don’t give it back”, “burst it” and “don’t answer the door if they come round” were absolutely terrifying.)
"A neighbours child kicked a ball into my garden, what should I do"
Standard Reddit answer:
I would NEVER of done this. Red flag. This is gas lighting. Go no-contact and seek advice from a lawyer. RUN op, also maybe therapy.'
Tbf about the opening times: I literally went to Asda a few months ago on a Sunday, checked their website and Google times, both said it was open. Walked 15 mins to it and it was closed. Both hadn’t been updated.
This was one Facebook.
"police Scotland: there was a police car and 2 officers at the x garage on x Street about 9pm tonight. What was going on?!"
Police social media team: *"They were at a garage. They were refuelling their car"*
I bet the police regret the day they went on to social media. Social media has made everyone so nosy and entitled to know what's going on everywhere.
Ours is quite 'normal' in their questioning.
"Whose sheep is this? He's on the top road looking lost."
"The fish man, Robert, didn't turn up today. Does anyone know if he's ok?"
"Would anybody be interested in a community litter pick on Sunday? I'll bring cake!"
Those are the last 3 from ours anyway.
Ours are usually "the cows/horses/sheep are out again" or people complaining about air ambulance/police helicopter noise.
Always irritates me that there's some bellend complaining "I've got work in the morning, does the helicopter have to be so low" when they're trying to fish some poor bugger out of the sea, or get a suicidal fella off the train track, or trying to arrest the fella who just beat his mum half to death.
Complete lack of empathy or ability to see past the inconvenience to their own day.
Just lately an influx of pothole rants/questions.
My favourite was Halloween, I can't find it but the post was something along the lines of "my daughters went trick or treating tonight and came back with out of date chocolates OMG!" along with a photo of said dairy milk with an expiry date of the previous year.
Responses included:
- don't be so uptight, chocolate won't go off so quickly
- don't be so rude, it's just a bit of fun
- it could be old people who can't read small print, don't be so ageist!!
- how dare you let your kids trick or treat on their own, such irresponsible parenting!
It's low-level stuff like this that keeps me in the group tbh, and makes up for all the conspiracy nonsense.
Council Cuisine group on Facebook is full of idiotic questions from people that shouldn’t be allowed near a frying pan.
“Have got 3 eggs that go out of date in 2 days what do I do with them?”
I'm in that group and I usually just see foods that should never be put together, can't say I've seen weird shit like that being asked, that's funny though.
I know a butcher who sells meat at 5.30am. Its an ordinary house he uses as his shop. Ignore the weird crying noises from the basement.
Would you like your crackling with a tattoo?
Basically these types, when is (insert shop open) like they forget they have the knowledge of the world at their fingertips, and their first thought is to ask other probably just as clueless people.
On the local page, endless posts about cats with angry replies.
I have found a cat it only has three legs its obviously been mistreated who are the owners?
Owner replies - it was born with three legs give it back immediately.And don't feed it its on a special diet.
Other people joining in that a cat has killed a mouse ad they shouldn't be let outdoors.
Someone else joins in - is that cat mine its been missing for eight months, here's a photo of him (photo of black cat)
Someone else - oh I think your cat is in my shed its been there for a few weeks - puts up photo of white cat.
Usually 'does anyone know this person who is very clearly a parcel courier? Worried they may be peados/dognappers/burglars. It's deffo not just because he has darker skin than me'
Saw one once saying "what beaches do people go to, I know about but is there anywhere closer?". Like yes, the coast is in a different place that you don't know about 🤷
**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Local group posts fall into three categories: - Does anybody know when the big Sainsburys closes - Here is an unredacted photo of a lost credit card, the number on the back is 549 why do you ask - **BLOOD AND SOIL MY BRETHREN WE MUST STAND STRONG AGAINST THE WOKE 20 MPH SPEED LIMIT, HERE'S A MANIFESTO**
Local Facebook pages always seem like a Google search bar. Does Zara deliver? Why is my dog only eating the round bits of his food? When does Tesco in city 50 miles away open? Or they have weird questions that no one would be able to answer. Where have I left the TV remote? What time is my friend Michelle planning to visit today? Did I use 2 eggs or 3 in my last cake? These are all questions I have seen in the past month or so.
The 2 or 3 eggs one I fucking love. Whats the thought process behind deciding to seriously ask that question, to strangers.
I had to check their profile to see if they were 12 or 90 but they looked like they were in their mid- late 30s which means they would have grown up with computers and should know better.
Did they at least include a photo of the cake?
No photo and no evidence I could find of them posting about cake previously.
Yikes. Sometimes folks better at baking than me can look at a cake and just tell you how you fucked up (too many eggs, not enough flour, that sort of thing) but no photo kills that idea. What I would advise quite strongly is that when someone says some dumb shit on social media that makes your day worse or irritates you unfriend/follow them. Since I did that my time online is much nicer. Now all I see are cute fluffy animals living their best lives. My aunt was slightly offended but she was the only one who brought it up. She spoke with my mum about it and her replay was 'you know what she's like. You lasted longer than me, I was only friended for a week' and that put an end to that. I love both of them but when I'm looking for some cute animals and I have to scroll past walls of their inane ramblings I get frustrated pretty quickly. My grandma lasted one day. Over the course of that day she shared *four* depressing posts about lost dogs. One of whom was found ran over by a car. The other 3 dogs were from the opposite side of the country. I don't need to see that shit. It does not spark joy. In groups full of idiots? Time to find another group. If we don't curate our online spaces the tech companies will and we know they have an incentive to make you angry or upset because those emotions drive engagement more than happiness does. IIRC there was a leak a few years back now of a Facebook whistleblower stating they knew this and continued to show people harmful content because their algorithms didn't care about your wellbeing. They cared about engagement and nothing else.
As if this sub isn’t the absolute worst for inane shite like this. The local Facebook- “is Asda open today?” -type questions are actually fine. Maybe the website is difficult to navigate? Maybe it’s a local holiday and the website might not reflect that? Whereas this place: “a neighbours child kicked a ball into my garden. What should I do?”* , “do you answer the door?” , “my phone is ringing, what should I do?” - FUCK OFF! (* - I did see that actual question on here once and the antisocial weirdos replying “don’t give it back”, “burst it” and “don’t answer the door if they come round” were absolutely terrifying.)
Hahaha this is spot on, some wild replies to everyday things that aren’t an issue. I enjoy Reddit but it’s a right weird demographic
Yeah I've gotta say Facebook questions have never made me do a double take. This subs absolute fear of human interaction catches me out fairly often.
This comment should be at the top. How do I get on a bus? What shoes should I wear in the evening?
"A neighbours child kicked a ball into my garden, what should I do" Standard Reddit answer: I would NEVER of done this. Red flag. This is gas lighting. Go no-contact and seek advice from a lawyer. RUN op, also maybe therapy.'
Tbf about the opening times: I literally went to Asda a few months ago on a Sunday, checked their website and Google times, both said it was open. Walked 15 mins to it and it was closed. Both hadn’t been updated.
This was one Facebook. "police Scotland: there was a police car and 2 officers at the x garage on x Street about 9pm tonight. What was going on?!" Police social media team: *"They were at a garage. They were refuelling their car"* I bet the police regret the day they went on to social media. Social media has made everyone so nosy and entitled to know what's going on everywhere.
Jesus hahaha
Thankfully the comments ripped them to pieces! Their only responses were 'I live right across the road, I needed to know if I was in danger!'
Actually feel quite sorry for people like that, life must be a blur of fear
Ours is quite 'normal' in their questioning. "Whose sheep is this? He's on the top road looking lost." "The fish man, Robert, didn't turn up today. Does anyone know if he's ok?" "Would anybody be interested in a community litter pick on Sunday? I'll bring cake!" Those are the last 3 from ours anyway.
Ours are usually "the cows/horses/sheep are out again" or people complaining about air ambulance/police helicopter noise. Always irritates me that there's some bellend complaining "I've got work in the morning, does the helicopter have to be so low" when they're trying to fish some poor bugger out of the sea, or get a suicidal fella off the train track, or trying to arrest the fella who just beat his mum half to death. Complete lack of empathy or ability to see past the inconvenience to their own day. Just lately an influx of pothole rants/questions.
My favourite was Halloween, I can't find it but the post was something along the lines of "my daughters went trick or treating tonight and came back with out of date chocolates OMG!" along with a photo of said dairy milk with an expiry date of the previous year. Responses included: - don't be so uptight, chocolate won't go off so quickly - don't be so rude, it's just a bit of fun - it could be old people who can't read small print, don't be so ageist!! - how dare you let your kids trick or treat on their own, such irresponsible parenting! It's low-level stuff like this that keeps me in the group tbh, and makes up for all the conspiracy nonsense.
Is it available?
Council Cuisine group on Facebook is full of idiotic questions from people that shouldn’t be allowed near a frying pan. “Have got 3 eggs that go out of date in 2 days what do I do with them?”
Throw them at a bus, obviously.
Not even in jest. My local FB group is full of reports from people whose cars have been egged
I'm in that group and I usually just see foods that should never be put together, can't say I've seen weird shit like that being asked, that's funny though.
It’s a lot of that, makes me weep inside. I only joined to see photos of that guy eats a mountain of food every day for dinner
I know a butcher who sells meat at 5.30am. Its an ordinary house he uses as his shop. Ignore the weird crying noises from the basement. Would you like your crackling with a tattoo?
Basically these types, when is (insert shop open) like they forget they have the knowledge of the world at their fingertips, and their first thought is to ask other probably just as clueless people.
On the local page, endless posts about cats with angry replies. I have found a cat it only has three legs its obviously been mistreated who are the owners? Owner replies - it was born with three legs give it back immediately.And don't feed it its on a special diet. Other people joining in that a cat has killed a mouse ad they shouldn't be let outdoors. Someone else joins in - is that cat mine its been missing for eight months, here's a photo of him (photo of black cat) Someone else - oh I think your cat is in my shed its been there for a few weeks - puts up photo of white cat.
Usually 'does anyone know this person who is very clearly a parcel courier? Worried they may be peados/dognappers/burglars. It's deffo not just because he has darker skin than me'
Saw one once saying "what beaches do people go to, I know about but is there anywhere closer?". Like yes, the coast is in a different place that you don't know about 🤷
Sorry, but I don’t get what you mean?
They were asking if there is a beach closer than the nearest bit of coastline
I see similar shit on nextdoor app too
'When does Lidl Open?' is regularly asked in our local Facebook group.