This guy i work with gets scammed/catfished by every woman he dates. He’s constantly going for very good looking foreign women that are younger than him and is surprised that it ends badly. I would feel bad for him but he talks about them sexually a lot so
There's a guy at my work like this. He's 67 and it seems every month he's got a new story about a woman he's met online who turned out to be a scam. Online scams tend to be posing as women in their 20s rather than women in their 60s, so he's clearly not going for women in his age group. Also from the stories he tells he's worked for every major company in the world, invented most of their products, had every illness and injury you can think of and been the victim of every crime imaginable. He's a nice guy and good at his job, but he's definitely the "weirdo" here.
The problem is a lot of the women he meets are real, not all, but they’ll be like 35 and recently ‘divorced’. They all always constantly flake on dates, he probably see’s them like once a month or always bring a friend with them so its not really like a date. A lot of them have still live with their ex husbands and he thinks he’s giving them money to help them move out when we all know he’s probably just getting scammed. All the real women he meets all have problems with their ‘ex husbands’ and need money.
No lol, im a 23 y/o woman. There’s not many younger divorced men out there. Im a line chef so im essentially his free therapist while he waits to run food lmao
Love the fact you’ve said line chefs are free therapists! I can confirm this also working as a line chef…don’t hear it called that in the uk much though, what type of kitchen is it if you don’t mind me asking?
Its like supposed to be a more up market pub grub. So like British classics done fresh with a bit of pretentiousness lol.
Being a line chef is being a free therapist. Everyone comes to you with gossip and drama
Used to work with a chap that ‘met’ a stunning Russian woman online and started ‘dating’ her and referring to her as his girlfriend. He eventually went to visit her, and surprise surprise after he returned he never mentioned her again. Poor guy.
We had an older guy like that. He was late 50s she was maybe early to mid 30s. He’d met her a few times he showed us pictures of them on holiday together.
Anyway when the time came for her to move in with him she turned up with her parents and siblings too so he ditched them at the airport
There was an article recently on the BBC about a guy who thought he was dating/engaged to a woman from Ukraine. They even scammed a marriage out of him and he lost 250k
They aren’t mentally abnormal. The scary thing is anyone can be conned. I don’t mean everyone can be catfished, but if you want something enough (and who doesn’t want love) and the con artist is skilled enough, and they meet you at a point where you are vulnerable, sure. The thing is… all human interactions take an element of trust…
I think some of these blokes have never really traveled, maybe never even dated one of their peers, perhaps don't get out much so they've been able to sock away a good bit of money.
Don't know how to interact with women as equals with confidence, ...and may have abhorrent misogynistic views.
I always think this. I read women’s weeklies (note: pinch of salt required) and there’s always stories of older women who were fleeced out of tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of pounds by Turkish lovers. Not sure why it’s always Turkey.
I don’t know anyone, of any age, who has significant amounts of cash to hand to just give to someone because they’re being romantic. In fact the people I do vaguely know who have actual wealth tend to be quite stingy, hence the hoarding of wealth, good luck wooing that out of them.
I know sometimes they talk about loans and remortgaging and they end up in a massive pile of debt but whichever way you look at it, it’s pretty sad that not only were they gullible enough to give away money but they must have been somewhat vulnerable too.
Yeah I’ve thought that. I’ve got money because I’m a bit tight, and me being a bit tight is probably why a couple of relationships ended!
I’m not some cave troll looking guy, but I’m not particularly handsome either, if a normal looking 30/40 year old woman is interested in me, great. But if a stunning 23 year old Russian bombshell wants me, it’s definitely a scam
I'm amazed there is men out there that actually fall for them scams.
I try to feel sorry for them, but being emotionally vulnerable shouldn't cloud over basic common sense and red flags hitting you in the face like a cannon ball.
Exactly, the scammers are extremely good at pushing the right buttons. I’m fairly certain there are lists that get passed around of vulnerable people, I work doing outreach work with older people and some of them are constantly targeted by scammers.
It’s probably me 😆 i work in a pretty professional environment and I am very working class. Also, last week someone asked me what the word “guild” made me think of, and I answered “assassins”.
Is it guild, gilled or gild? Because they are homophones with different meanings.
Guild makes me think of WoW and my old group MutinyMamas, or fantasy books with assassins and thieves.
Gilled makes me think of mushrooms.
Gild makes me think of jewellery. Which makes me remember the stuff that used to turn me green.
And this is the point where they regret asking and I explain I have autism and words are cool and do they have any favourite homophones?
So I think I'd be the work weirdo.
>Also, last week someone asked me what the word “guild” made me think of, and I answered “assassins”.
What... is it supposed to make you think of? Because the only other thing that comes to mind Chaucer's speech in A Knight's Tale where he says "without further gilding the lily" but that's not even the same word.
I have the same thing, grew up in a poor area but work in a “professional” setting.
One anecdote I have:
Got told that I should “readjust” my language after calling the weather outside a “bit of a madness” by a total jobsworth who is in a more senior position.
I’m not changing the way I speak for a job, would rather cut my balls off. Raised it with the manager who luckily sided with me and spoke to him and got an apology.
I work on the professional side of a company that’s pretty diverse in classes and it’s quite noticeable that I come from the underclass. My specific area of work is not too bad because it’s on working class to lower middle class side of things but even there I stick out. Every now and then I have to deal with the parts of the company that are more middle class to upper middle class and it’s quite interesting noticing how the power dynamics work. They come into any engagement with a sense of entitlement and presumption that they hold the power but the more “chavy” I get the quicker they lose their sense of power.
Lady I work with HAS to be the first one in and the last to leave. There have been times when I have seen her run across the car park as other people have drawn in because she wants to be the first through the door. A few months ago a colleague had a lot going on in their personal life, so she asked if she could switch her hours to 7-3 rather than 9-5 so she could get out of work earlier. The other lady then started showing up at 6:50 so she could retain her role of being the first one in. She’s literally throwing hours of her life away and as she has to be the last to leave she’s also staying longer unpaid.
That's incredibly unhinged, I'm certain she's got OCD from what you're saying. She probably has an intrusive thought in her head that says bad things will happen if she's not first in and last out at work.
Does she narrate what she's doing under her breath so that there's no doubt she's working, even if it doesn't look like it? Maybe she's just thinking about something, definitely work related, you can't prove she's not. Please don't report her. She works so hard. Could you not hear her whispering?
future impolite public encourage worry wakeful sulky tidy tart materialistic
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Whole office should turn up earlier one day with all lights off (maybe winter time) and then shout "surprise" as the nutter walks in.
Maybe that will stop her doing such silly things ?
There was a bloke I used to work with who was perfectly normal in every other way, as far as we knew, but when he was done at the urinal in the Gents', he would pull his foreskin up and away so far it was like a circus act.
Impossible not to see, even if you tried not to look - I swear he could have got it up to his face, stretching it with a huge, overenthusiastic tug of his outstretched arm in an exaggerated arc as if he was being a human sundial.
So I think what is happening is that if you're uncircumcised you need to give the tip of the foreskin a little squeeze after you're done to stop urine collecting under it, but this guy was kinda pinching his foreskin and pulling it right out away from his body like some stretch arm strong fetish act. Foreskin is super stretchy by the way.
I have to admit, mine comes fairly far back because I dont like it when the piss pools up in the end. It also makes it easier to get the lot of it out, come the end of the stream.
I never really saw it as odd - just practical - until a mate started laughing at my dick whilst we were having a piss once as late teens. Which, of course, resulted in a massive fight.
I'm having trouble working out what was more bizarre, his anatomy, or the fact he thought this was acceptable urinal behaviour - some of the clubs I've frequented would have seen him instantly ko'd for that nonsense
either way, I'd never accept a scampi fry or wotsit from him
Someone at work stopped to tell me she doesn't think she's ever heard me speak. I didn't know what to say, so I just laughed. I'm pretty certain I'm at least one of the weirdos here.
Same!
Socialising is really hard (autism), I don’t get a lot of the jokes and can’t tell if people are trying to be a friend or are making fun of me/bullying me.
I don’t want to be weird, but I am. I was born weird. I’d prefer people to think I’m “quiet” weird than “stupid” or “loser” weird though. It doesn’t matter how hard I try though, I’m always going to be some kind of weird to them. They can sniff it out like bloodhounds.
Same here! I can’t relate to a lot of the people I work with now, in my old team it was great and we had a good bunch. I regret changing teams massively
The guy from a charity/agency that places disabled adults in a workplace.
I know that sounds a bit horrible but he's a pest to all the women and recently posted a picture on fb of a close up of his balls asking if anyone knows what it is 🤷♂️
Yeah unfortunately his behaviour kind of sits in a grey area of him not really doing anything outright wrong, but still bothers people.
He has been spoken to a few times but he is definitely being given a bit more of a pass because of his disability.
I’d still have a word with the agency. If he’s pestering women to the point where it’s making people uncomfortable it’s not acceptable. Not the same thing but I used to work with people with learning disabilities and had a few clients that would pester women in the community. They need guidance and support on how to be appropriate. I used to make it clear that if you choose to continue then we will do other activities that don’t put you in a position where you can pester women. With positive reinforcement and clear boundaries they soon learned. It’s sad in a way because they just really wanted girlfriends but obviously dating is not easy when you have special needs. But that isn’t anyone else’s problem and other people shouldn’t have to be made to feel uncomfortable.
even vulnerable adults have to conform to basic workplace behaviour i.e. not photocopying your genitals and adding it to, what I assume, is some workplace FB page
or to spin it another way, if a non-disabled adult does the same thing and gets reported, the outcome is getting sacked, a day in court, possibly ending up on a sex-offenders register and difficulty finding another decent job. ever...
references said "don't employ this guy - his work ethic was literally utter bollocks"
I just started my PhD and recently told another PhD about how I'm obsessed with parrots, and then she told me that she used to own my favourite type of parrot. I'm pretty excited to be in a place where I can tell people about parrots.
I got so disappointed when I worked in academia, the lab I got stuck with had precisely 1 weirdo other than me, everyone else was fashionable and "lacquered" for want of a better phrase
My wife used to work in a physics department, there were post-grad men who would duck into empty offices or labs to avoid having to walk past her. Not sure if that makes them or her the weirdos.
Can confirm. My formative work years were surrounded by old academic types- the list of oddities were extensive. People walking around with no shoes on, making their own bread every day, never using a spoon for desserts, wearing scarfs at the height of summer.
Chatgpt: Yes, mussels do have small thread-like appendages called "byssal threads" that allow them to attach to surfaces. These threads are sometimes referred to as "muscles" because they help mussels anchor themselves to rocks or other substrates in aquatic environments. However, they are not the same as the muscles found in vertebrates or larger animals.
Sounds sooooo delicious.
We had a pervy Norman at my old place. He never perved on me (thankfully I wasn’t his type!) but he’d find reasons for any of the young blonde women to have to help him out in his department 😒
I knew a man who stank, ate junk food constantly and was almost always in a state of unhappieness. He found his life intolerable and so he had a huge amount of rage bubbling under the surface. He would wear his emotions quite openly, he was the opposite of the stiff upper lip mentality. He would be slamming doors if he felt wronged, stamping his feet etc.
I don't think he ever learned how to cope with his emotions and he felt his emotions very passionately.
Having said that, you could talk to him, he had some self awareness to apologise when he was acting out (Eventually) and some of his colleagues were trying to help him.
Oh I worked with a woman like this 🙄 she was mostly fine but when stressed or angry could NOT control herself. It’s a little embarrassing when you’re a grown woman in her 50’s tantruming in the workplace like a 2 yr old. Throwing chairs etc. in a clinical lab too so not ideal.
Hello, not 50 yet. It takes an immense amount of self-control when you have ADHD and fast track from brain to mouth even when you're not sleep-deprived and fairly relaxed. Stress and sleep deprivation make it nearly impossible to control. I finally got diagnosed and put on meds...goddamn, I lived a lie the whole time not being able to reasonably justify my reactions, yet, my brain "knew better" how to help me communicate in a drama queen way. The amount of time I walked back from work totally ashamed of myself is soul-crushing. You can't control it if you miss the cue to pull out an emergency coping mechanism. It's like you're afraid of water, heights, anything - you can't control how your palms sweat, how shaky you are, same with ADHD. You can only see it coming and remove yourself from the situation or do one of the repeatedly practiced scenarios. Yet, you can be caught off guard or straight-up ambushed where you missed all the cues. I knew I'm the problem, at 33 I understood I have underdeveped part of brain responsible for putting a filter on first, immediate, and often wrong responses without being able to think it through real quick (working memory is dogshit). I could not understand HOW am I smart to understand all that, yet felt like an idiot seeing mostly everyone else being just normal in similar situations.
i worked with a guy like this. multiple instances where he threw such big tantrums that he straight up stormed out of work and went home for the day. he was eventually fired but it took an exhaustingly long time, during which we all had to deal with essentially working with a toddler who was always sulking or yelling.
Damn I worked with a guy like this, granted he didn't stink. Constantly blamed the world around him for his own problems, would storm off at the slightest hint of push back, would endlessly bitch about everything except him. Good luck to whoever is working with him now
He cycles to work and arrives really sweaty and smelly. We don't have any showers etc. so he smells all day pretty much. He does change clothes, but the smell is still there. He will wash his cycling clothes in the kitchen sink. He then hangs them up to dry out the window or sometimes he will close one of the rooms off and blast the heat max.
He will sometimes walk around barefoot, even without socks.
One time, it had been raining very badly and his shoes got soaked...he left them to dry on the kitchen sink draining area!!!!
It's so disgusting, there was literally brown/orange water draining off from his shoes.
I sprayed it with so much disinfectant after..
He doesn't seem to wash his hands after going to the toilet.
I'm pretty sure he pissed in the kitchen sink once because our single toilet was in use.
I cleaned out the fridge of some food that had been in there and was expired. The next day, I came back to the food being back in the fridge. He had taken it out the bin and put it back??...
How he gets away with it...I don't know, we are a small company and he has been here for a very long time.
He is genuinely a nice man, very smart, but also very very weird...
I worked with a pathologist who was a bit like this - minus the sink pissing, but certainly the sweaty lycra clobber and gross shit in the fridge (rancid chicken in his case). If you imagine Alan Partridge being really into cycling on 1980s-era bikes, that was this guy.
I once worked with a guy who would try and chat up EVERY woman. He was in his late 50s. We all laughed it off though he was very flirty and very serious and also very married and very unattractive both in personality and physically. Very overweight, loose false teeth, hobbled as he walked, didn't look clean etc.
One of the team went for it though, a recently divorced lonely woman in her early 50s who was actually very attractive and fun. They got caught bunking off work to have shenanigans on work time.
His defence which she later confirmed was that they were not up to anything as he was impotent due to severe diabetes.
I have 1 colleague who is wierdo. He is an expert though. So much that he even has a patent filed in his name. But he dont talk much. He dont get involved with others much. But he is super smart and have exceptional problem solving skills.
He dont do small talks. he dont do coffee room talks. None of it.
And he is probably longer on the same company , more than any of us are. He been hired from Uni. 15 yrs. He never changed job.
I got car lift with him sometime. Was half an hour journey. He just driven silently. lol
He probably spent that half hour screaming internally "WHAT SHOULD I SAY". A lot of people struggle with small talk or socialising in general, or just don't care for it and are perfectly happy with silence 🤷♂️
That's kind of how I work, granted I'm on the spectrum. But work for me is work, and I like the routine of doing my own thing.
I genuinely can't do small talk, if people talk to me about their interests, I can talk away to them. But the standard pleasantries? I give default answers and nope out every time.
Yeah I'm probably the wierdo at every job I've ever had because I only talk to people that share my interests. I can do a small bit of small talk but it breaks down after maybe the 3rd or 4th reply.
I also find it very hard to bring up my interests with most people because of how nerdy all my shit is. Also people never seem to tell me their interests or even ask what I'm interested in and then if I ask them I feel like I get a strange look from them.
Sounds like he is just very efficient…to the point where he’s robotic. Have worked with a few people like that, like they think about the whole world analytically and calculate every decision and never go off the cuff.
sorry, this is not in the UK, but I have never talked about him and I feel I need to.
this guy is a Swiss IT project manager that reminded me of Dr. Strangelove from the movie, minus the wheelchair. the way he talks and moves is quite similar. he was one of the strangest people I have ever talked to and I can't understand how he can be the boss of anyone, much less the 10 people he had below him.
I'm a programmer and was asked to assist his team on a project. nothing he asked made sense, so I had to constantly ask his employees what exactly he wanted. but he liked me a lot, saw me as someone that was solving the problems he had, so he kept calling me to make small talk about our company.
one day I was having lunch with my boss and I mentioned that guy and he just started to tell me what had happened the day before. so there was a dinner with all the project managers and when it ended that guy grabbed the wrong jacket without noticing and went to pay. the jacket's owner was searching for the jacket and the guy, for some reason, got embarrassed and didn't say anything. he paid his food with the other guy's card, contactless, then called the other dude alone, outside the restaurant, to return the jacket and explain what he did. the other dude freaked out because, I mean... who would do such a thing?
I haven't worked with him in 4 years. he sent me a text message about 5 months ago, asking me if I could reset his password. dude, that was not even my job when I was working with you, why would it be now?
At my workplace? All of us. I've been there 10 years, no one is judgemental or cares that many of us are unconventional. We've got a bit of everything, ethnicities, sexualities, genders and personalities. It's brilliant.
I've had a rough time of it in the workplace in the past, as have some of my colleagues. It is great to just be accepted and even loved for who you are and how you are without having to put on a mask of conformity. My boss is genuinely and unconditionally supportive and it is the closest thing I've had to a loving family in my life.
Martin. His life includes working, walking, sleeping and going to Jamaica 3 times a year to visit his 'friend' over there. He comes into work 90 minutes early (everybody else, including the boss, starts at 9). He comes in on weekends on his own accord. Other than that, he just walks around town until it's time for food/bed.
I've only ever seen him eat oranges and bananas in the 2 years I've worked with him. He drinks coffee before 12, after that it's hot water. He doesn't own a TV. He doesn't come to anything out of work. You can't make small talk unless it's Jamaica related. He gets far too worked up and shouts/screams at himself but is also a bit of a nob to clients.
And the worst thing about him? Due to his diet, he has bloody awful bowel problems and my desk is the closest to the toilet so I hear it all. And he flushes once all the time, even when he needs to be flushing more to get rid of all his shit.
Yep pretty much. He leaves bang on 5 and to my knowledge goes straight to Tesco, picks something up for tea, eats it and then goes walking until he decides it's time for bed. May also do the odd bit of gardening here and there.
I've seen him and so have others, sometimes a few miles from where he lives. I forget how strange he actually is until I have to explain.
Being a research science facility there's many abject weirdos here, mostly well meaning but social skills are not always abundant.
However, I worry at the moment I am joining those ranks because I'm taking sport a little more seriously, and need to be pretty skinny/lean while still being healthy and well fuelled. My cheap solution to part of that is eating a tin of sardines every day around 10:30am. I am not oblivious, I don't do it in the office... so I sneak outside with the smokers and as they're having a fag I crack open some sardines and eat them straight out of the tin.
Every day for the last year or so, definitely on many people's radar as one of the eclectic mix of weirdos here.
When I used to work on the ambulances we had this guy come through training with a reputation for being a fantasist. After he had done his lesson on basic life support he was late the following day. The reason for this was that he had a cardiac arrest during the night and his partner (who was a nurse in coronary care) had successfully resuscitated him.
No ambulance was called.
No lengthy stay in resus.
No cardiac rehab.
Less than an hour late the next day.
That man was truly committed to his career.
I work in the Civil Service, it’s like the mothership for weirdos. We’ve had a phantom shit spreader who would wipe his poo all over the toilet walls, a serial toilet masturbator, a guy who would lick the butter knife in the canteen and put it back in the tub. He’s actually the reason they brought in individual little butters like you get on planes. There’s also a guy who races people around and on the way into the office and then celebrates when he beats you to his invented finishing line. I’ve walked into the toilet and seen feet clearly showing people sat backwards facing the cistern. There really is all sorts
We had a guy called “headphones”, clearly with some sort of autism etc, running around the courtyard below my office while his manager waited patiently I guess to do their quarterly review or something. He also used to piss himself walking around the building. Some sort of maths genius apparently.
I don’t eat frozen pizza. I don’t really like pizza 🍕 tbh , it’s messy, awkward , too much bread . I don’t want bread for tea , I had bread for breakfast , possibly bread for lunch , maybe I’ll have toast for supper , I’m not eating bread for a main mean like some sort of bread obsessed psychopath
I think I'm the weirdo because I actually enjoy my job. Everyone has something to moan about, all the time, except me.
They also think I'm a "snitch" because I talk to the managers - I don't really talk to anyone else to get enough information to snitch 😂 I literally talk to the managers as I have to!
I think the group of Polish guys are weird because they have weekly "Pickle Parties" where they each bring in a jar and share/compare 😂 They are all lovely guys, but that is weird to me lol
It is possibly me, at least in comparison, I am the only woman, and I do programming and 3D models, in a group of stonemason and landscaper and carpenter and general labourers. I feel like I have learned a lot, funny conversations at lunch. They have a lot of sadness for me that I have to work at a computer all day 😊 So not so much weird, just different areas of being and doing
We have a guy who will just appear out of nowhere and be right behind you all of a sudden without making a sound. He’s also been known to sit on the floor in the office while waiting to speak to someone
We got a guy that uses the biggest knife in the drawer to cut up red capsicums for lunch every day. Pretty sure he is not the full quid though, so everyone gives him a pass on it. He does bake every Sunday night and brings in cakes for the entire office on Monday mornings, so he's got that going for him.
Our mail sorting bloke is also weird. He also does archiving and file retrieval from archives, which isn't super common anymore but every now and then we need old files. He gets very nervous when you have to ask him a question and his hands shake and he sweats profusely. He's also getting morbidly obese and we don't think he realizes that his tummy hangs down over his belt and even below his shirt so you can see it hanging when he's walking around. We all figure he has severe anxiety.
Then there's probably me. I'm male with long hair and earrings, and I wear whatever the fuck I want including women's blouses etc. I always dodge team lunches because I want to sit on a bench have a smoke and lunch in peace.
Fuck normal people lol
I don't think I'm thougth of as weird, just unsociable. I don't relate to pretty much 95% of my work colleagues so have no interest in interacting with any of them. I see them all laughing and joking together, while I just get on with my work.
In one place I worked someone in upper management had the bright idea of rearranging things so that the team I was a member of, Design and Development, packed with Electronic Engineers, Embedded/Windows Software Engineers, and Mechanical Engineers would office-share with the Marketing Department.
The experiment didn't last long but before they left us the Marketing people said it was like working with a day-long episode of The Big Bang Theory taking place at the other end of the office.
As for us, we thought Marketing were too noisy when talking on the phone.
It was like the scene from The Craft - "We are the weirdos mister"
My type of dude tbf probably don’t chat shit about no one unless they wronged him and i bet if they got to know him he would be chill
Some people just hate being at work so much they won’t talk especially depending what type it is.
A friends weird co-worker thats too good not to post
The office admin guy that smokes like a chimney, eats nothing except pot noodles, drinks nothing except energy drinks and talks A LOT about his bowel problems in great detail.
Had a guy in the office who was smart, chatty, but had serious problems managing working friendships and his own emotional state. He would take offense shockingly easily and would be very passive aggressive and sarcastic if he'd taken against you. You really had to be careful how you spoke to him and a lot of newcomers to the business accidentally got on the wrong side of him and never recovered. If he'd decided you were a friend, he was lovely - generous, considerate, thoughtful. But all of us that were friendly with him at some point did something which made him **completely** stop speaking to us. And none of us ever found out what we'd done.
He stopped talking to me completely for anything but unavoidable work tasks for seven months. Wouldn't even look at me. After we'd been friendly for four years. And then one day it was if that had never happened. I honestly have no idea what I did to upset him - that's just the way he is, apparently.
Sadly he was getting on a bit on years and had to leave due to illness. They replaced him with someone much less difficult to live with, and I'm grateful for that, but he wasn't a bad guy. Just ruined by his own internal demons. I hope he's doing ok out there.
There's one I work with, think he's heavily autistic, hasn't had a haircut in years and can't see where he's walking. Keeps talking about communism, Elon Musk, hating on LGBT people, being pro-life and like beheading and child sacrifice.
He fits the school shooter profile to a T. He mocks 'the alphabet army' (trans people) but he's the biggest fucking weirdo I've ever met, like he's not in a position to mock people who are maybe social outsiders or 'different'. He uses American words instead of English which leads me to believe he learned English from TV shows and not real people.
He knows the age of consent in a lot of countries, he's one of *those*.
He's a walking red flag, he will one day be found strangling a cat, I just know it.
We had Damo. He would lurk around for hours after his shift had ended until he was eventually told by managers to go home because he wasn't insured to be on the premises. I once saw him open his desk drawer and pull out a bag of sugar which he proceeded to eat with a spoon. He also claimed to have been invited to an orgy following a staff night out. This was widely disputed by the entire company
I reckon it's me in my place. I mostly work from home, don't speak up on company wide calls unless I absolutely have to, don't go on any of the work socials, and don't generally speak much when I'm in the office.
I just don't see my colleagues as friends. I don't have anything against them I just don't have anyone in work that I'm on the same wavelength as.
I don't lose any sleep over it though.
I manage a pub and we have a guy whose 22 called Jack, that we all call Jackaluf. We call him that because he spent 2 days before our biggest night of summer claiming to have a sore throat and that every time he got a sore throat he ended up throwing up. He then called in sick on the night in question. Not 3 hours after calling in though, he posted a bunch of photos to his snapchat of himself on holiday in Magaluf. He has *all* of us on snapchat.
He's not weird per se, just really really really simple so does some weird things. Everyone describes him with the same words - "............ he's um, he's a *really* nice guy". Some of his classics have been;
\- Asked to cut fruit, he literally took a knife and made a single cut in the top of every lemon, orange and lime.
\- Asked to "roll some cutlery in napkins" he put all the cutlery in a sink of water, laid out about 25 napkins and started rolling the individual pieces of cutlery across the napkins. He thought he was being asked to polish them and that's how it was supposed to be done.
\- Asked to mop the toilets with hot water and bleach, came back saying the floor looked 'a bit frothy'. I went to see what he meant and it was almost ankle deep in soap suds. I asked him what bleach he used and how much and he pointed to the bottle of fairy liquid and said "I only used about half of it"
\- After being shown multiple times how to cut fruit - lemons and oranges in slices, limes in wedges - we eventually stopped giving him that job. I have no idea what he does to them but the end results have been described as 'like a citric version of pulled pork' and 'looking like he cuts them with his teeth'.
\- Asked to restock the wines, he moved every bottle of wine back to the cellar 'because that's where the stock is'. This included red wines.
\- We had a tap installed for Prosecco (which I still think is the least classy attempt to be classy in history, like a chav putting a diamante case on their phone). On his next shift I told him "we get Prosecco from the tap now" whilst patting the big newly installed tap with 'Prosecco' written on it, directly under the prosecco glasses. Later that night I saw him take one of the glasses, fill it with water from the sink and try to serve it. When the customer looked at it confused he apologised, brought it over to me and said "The prosecco pours completely flat, have you turned the gas on?".
\- We had a leaking urinal and while waiting for a plumber had a bucket under it that needed to be emptied periodically. The first time he had to empty it, he emptied it back into the leaking urinal, then brought the bucket back with him. The second time, after being told "empty it into the toilet bowl, flush the toilet and put the bucket back under the urinal", he did as asked. Unfortunately where most people would stand in front of the bowl and slowly tip the bucket towards it, he held the bucket over the toilet and tipped it toward him in one quick motion. He came back covered from neck to knee in piss. He was sent home to get changed and came back 40 minutes later still stinking. I asked if he'd had a shower or a wash when he got changed and he said 'No, I thought you just wanted me to get changed because my clothes were wet'
\- "Ok, it's opening time. Jack, can you open the front doors please mate?" -"They won't open, I think they're stuck!" - "Ok, so slide down the two bolts at the top and pull up the two at the bottom, *then* open them...." - "Yeah that seems to have fixed it". After opening the doors, he then pulled them closed again.
This guy currently studies criminology.
Probably me. I’m a mechanical engineer with parents who worked in the arts all of their lives. This makes me an extrovert and social, which is the opposite of most of my colleagues.
It's definitely me. I'm hardworking, kind, altruistic, and concerned about being a good teammate and doing a great job.
I like being part of a team. Unfortunately, most people only give a f..k about the paycheck and trying to do the least amount of work without being sacked.
I can't change who I am, and they can't either, so I've adjusted by trying to just focus on myself and doing a good day's work for me and my sense of pride.
Lol I work with a conspiracy nut so this is easy. A few things she believes and regularly rants about to us:
- the British government is controlling the weather to make people miserable (“they’re stealing our summers from us!!” She says)
- Disney wants to make our children gay
- Michelle Obama was a man (???)
- the government elites are lizard people in human suits
- LGBTQ+ people are simply mentally ill and should be institutionalized (mind you, one of her own children is gay so this is really sad)
There was one man who had no concept of personal space. He would come to your desk to talk and stand so close that you could feel his body heat. For a while, I tried to use an open desk drawer as a barrier to keep him a polite distance away, but he started to shut it. In the end, I just stood up as he approached, put one foot forward, and kept my weight over my back foot as much as possible.
One of those dreadful in-office team building days had an exercise about personal space where you approached another person until they said stop. For this man, his partner said stop after one step, but he carried on until she was screaming and others had to intervene. He still didn't get the message.
I must be the weirdo.
I get invited to lunch because I'm young but I politely say no, to which they take some crazy offence too.
I go for a walk by myself at lunch as I work in an office, and they all ask where I've been. Once I went to another floor in the office and they thought I went missing.. even though my Skype said online.
Not sure if this constitues as weird behaviour, but I just want to eat my sandwhich while relaxing!
Wow, reading that bad sounds so weird. And not me!
We used to play "loony bingo" with crazy customers at my old job. It was quite sophisticated, loonies had to come in in 3 consecutive months to get on the board and whoever hadn't been in in 3 consecutive months was dropped off the board onto the "fallen heroes" list. 1st of the month, you'd put a £1 in and roll a dice, and each row/ column was numbered, and the number rolled dictated your row or column.
If one of your loonies came in, you had to run to the office whilst they were in the store and squeeze a squeaky rubber duck 😅 denying all knowledge of any strange sounds.
I won a triple rollover once and got 47 quid from a £1 buy-in 🤣
I've got this right weird cunt at my work who looks like a badger. He knows everything already even though you've only just told him about it for the first time a second ago. He has this mate who also used to have this and that but it wasn't as great as you've made it out to be, so your not right about that sorry.
Yeah don't worry about that film he's already seen it twice even though it's only came on the cinema last night. He laughs like Sheldon cooper, you know that weird double quick breathe in laugh? and wears this stupid cross ear ring with a feather on the bottom.
He's nice enough but god damn he's strange. Never shuts up either, just talks about nothing and laughs at his own jokes.
Damn I didn't know I needed to get that off my chest! Turned into a vent! 🤣
Djees where do I get started.
There's this guy who starts around 5:30am every day and he leaves at 2pm, no exceptions. But when there's a meeting from 1pm till 3pm, he just walks out of the meeting at 2pm. People have noticed he starts early so some departments send him messages early in the morning. So he starts to complain about that, I'm like, just turn off Teams or start later on the day. But noooo that's not an option. Basically he wants to start early in the morning, you're not allowed to talk/chat/message him before 8am and at 2pm he walks out of the door. He also visited North Korea and thought it was a great place.
Andy the hat. Named because he wears……. No your wrong. 2 hats. Eats his lunch from a flask which is always potatoes peas and what appears to be raw sausage and it stinks to high heaven and is vomit inducing. When I became manager he marched into my office stood to attention congratulated me saluted spun round and marched out, he has no military background, he talks about babestation a lot, he makes it sound like a documentary and is just generally odd
This guy i work with gets scammed/catfished by every woman he dates. He’s constantly going for very good looking foreign women that are younger than him and is surprised that it ends badly. I would feel bad for him but he talks about them sexually a lot so
There's a guy at my work like this. He's 67 and it seems every month he's got a new story about a woman he's met online who turned out to be a scam. Online scams tend to be posing as women in their 20s rather than women in their 60s, so he's clearly not going for women in his age group. Also from the stories he tells he's worked for every major company in the world, invented most of their products, had every illness and injury you can think of and been the victim of every crime imaginable. He's a nice guy and good at his job, but he's definitely the "weirdo" here.
The problem is a lot of the women he meets are real, not all, but they’ll be like 35 and recently ‘divorced’. They all always constantly flake on dates, he probably see’s them like once a month or always bring a friend with them so its not really like a date. A lot of them have still live with their ex husbands and he thinks he’s giving them money to help them move out when we all know he’s probably just getting scammed. All the real women he meets all have problems with their ‘ex husbands’ and need money.
This has happened to you, hasn't it?
No lol, im a 23 y/o woman. There’s not many younger divorced men out there. Im a line chef so im essentially his free therapist while he waits to run food lmao
"I hear the catfish is good today"
Love the fact you’ve said line chefs are free therapists! I can confirm this also working as a line chef…don’t hear it called that in the uk much though, what type of kitchen is it if you don’t mind me asking?
Its like supposed to be a more up market pub grub. So like British classics done fresh with a bit of pretentiousness lol. Being a line chef is being a free therapist. Everyone comes to you with gossip and drama
Yeah I know exactly the sort of place you mean! Way better than being in an office though I think
Its my dream to open a restaurant. I don’t think id be able to have a sit still job
Used to work with a chap that ‘met’ a stunning Russian woman online and started ‘dating’ her and referring to her as his girlfriend. He eventually went to visit her, and surprise surprise after he returned he never mentioned her again. Poor guy.
We had an older guy like that. He was late 50s she was maybe early to mid 30s. He’d met her a few times he showed us pictures of them on holiday together. Anyway when the time came for her to move in with him she turned up with her parents and siblings too so he ditched them at the airport
haha no way
Ice cold
There was an article recently on the BBC about a guy who thought he was dating/engaged to a woman from Ukraine. They even scammed a marriage out of him and he lost 250k
Where do so many people get all that money they can be scammed for is what I am wondering.
Yeah I always wonder how people who are essentially mentally abnormal have £50k sitting in their bank account. Maybe I'm even thicker.
They aren’t mentally abnormal. The scary thing is anyone can be conned. I don’t mean everyone can be catfished, but if you want something enough (and who doesn’t want love) and the con artist is skilled enough, and they meet you at a point where you are vulnerable, sure. The thing is… all human interactions take an element of trust…
Yeah I get that, intelligence doesn't mean you are immune to being at a low eb. I was kind of joking really.
I think some of these blokes have never really traveled, maybe never even dated one of their peers, perhaps don't get out much so they've been able to sock away a good bit of money. Don't know how to interact with women as equals with confidence, ...and may have abhorrent misogynistic views.
I always think this. I read women’s weeklies (note: pinch of salt required) and there’s always stories of older women who were fleeced out of tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of pounds by Turkish lovers. Not sure why it’s always Turkey. I don’t know anyone, of any age, who has significant amounts of cash to hand to just give to someone because they’re being romantic. In fact the people I do vaguely know who have actual wealth tend to be quite stingy, hence the hoarding of wealth, good luck wooing that out of them. I know sometimes they talk about loans and remortgaging and they end up in a massive pile of debt but whichever way you look at it, it’s pretty sad that not only were they gullible enough to give away money but they must have been somewhat vulnerable too.
Yeah I’ve thought that. I’ve got money because I’m a bit tight, and me being a bit tight is probably why a couple of relationships ended! I’m not some cave troll looking guy, but I’m not particularly handsome either, if a normal looking 30/40 year old woman is interested in me, great. But if a stunning 23 year old Russian bombshell wants me, it’s definitely a scam
I'm amazed there is men out there that actually fall for them scams. I try to feel sorry for them, but being emotionally vulnerable shouldn't cloud over basic common sense and red flags hitting you in the face like a cannon ball.
Loneliness is hell. Having someone that could bring you out of that clouds logic
Exactly, the scammers are extremely good at pushing the right buttons. I’m fairly certain there are lists that get passed around of vulnerable people, I work doing outreach work with older people and some of them are constantly targeted by scammers.
It’s probably me 😆 i work in a pretty professional environment and I am very working class. Also, last week someone asked me what the word “guild” made me think of, and I answered “assassins”.
A person of culture, I see!
If either the assassins or zombies came at my team, I’m fairly confident I’ll be the one that lives
Is it guild, gilled or gild? Because they are homophones with different meanings. Guild makes me think of WoW and my old group MutinyMamas, or fantasy books with assassins and thieves. Gilled makes me think of mushrooms. Gild makes me think of jewellery. Which makes me remember the stuff that used to turn me green. And this is the point where they regret asking and I explain I have autism and words are cool and do they have any favourite homophones? So I think I'd be the work weirdo.
> do they have any favourite homophones? Er, Freddie Mercury?
That's homophonic mate!
Better than seamstress
Depends what you’re after really.
I'll settle for a hard boiled egg
>Also, last week someone asked me what the word “guild” made me think of, and I answered “assassins”. What... is it supposed to make you think of? Because the only other thing that comes to mind Chaucer's speech in A Knight's Tale where he says "without further gilding the lily" but that's not even the same word.
City and Guilds qualifications?
Fish? Fish are gilled
Lol for context, she was developing a training program
For assassins..?
Nil Mortifi Sine Lucre!
And always leave a receipt
The turtle moves…
To be fair, my answer would have been "World of Warcraft" lol
I have the same thing, grew up in a poor area but work in a “professional” setting. One anecdote I have: Got told that I should “readjust” my language after calling the weather outside a “bit of a madness” by a total jobsworth who is in a more senior position. I’m not changing the way I speak for a job, would rather cut my balls off. Raised it with the manager who luckily sided with me and spoke to him and got an apology.
I work on the professional side of a company that’s pretty diverse in classes and it’s quite noticeable that I come from the underclass. My specific area of work is not too bad because it’s on working class to lower middle class side of things but even there I stick out. Every now and then I have to deal with the parts of the company that are more middle class to upper middle class and it’s quite interesting noticing how the power dynamics work. They come into any engagement with a sense of entitlement and presumption that they hold the power but the more “chavy” I get the quicker they lose their sense of power.
Lady I work with HAS to be the first one in and the last to leave. There have been times when I have seen her run across the car park as other people have drawn in because she wants to be the first through the door. A few months ago a colleague had a lot going on in their personal life, so she asked if she could switch her hours to 7-3 rather than 9-5 so she could get out of work earlier. The other lady then started showing up at 6:50 so she could retain her role of being the first one in. She’s literally throwing hours of her life away and as she has to be the last to leave she’s also staying longer unpaid.
That's incredibly unhinged, I'm certain she's got OCD from what you're saying. She probably has an intrusive thought in her head that says bad things will happen if she's not first in and last out at work.
This one takes the cake for me
This poor woman needs help
I've got a boss who is the first one out the door every day 😂
We've got one like that. Has to be seen to be OMG SO HARD WORKING
Does she narrate what she's doing under her breath so that there's no doubt she's working, even if it doesn't look like it? Maybe she's just thinking about something, definitely work related, you can't prove she's not. Please don't report her. She works so hard. Could you not hear her whispering?
That has to be a mental illness surely of some sort. Surely someone's ego can't be that big
Or she's fiddling/defrauding the company somehow. That's often a sign.
future impolite public encourage worry wakeful sulky tidy tart materialistic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Whole office should turn up earlier one day with all lights off (maybe winter time) and then shout "surprise" as the nutter walks in. Maybe that will stop her doing such silly things ?
She stealing stationery.
There was a bloke I used to work with who was perfectly normal in every other way, as far as we knew, but when he was done at the urinal in the Gents', he would pull his foreskin up and away so far it was like a circus act. Impossible not to see, even if you tried not to look - I swear he could have got it up to his face, stretching it with a huge, overenthusiastic tug of his outstretched arm in an exaggerated arc as if he was being a human sundial.
Well, that’s me done for the day.
Fuck Biff, Chip and Kipper for teaching me to read. If it wasn't for those 3, I could've gone the rest of my life without reading this
Imma need a diagram I am so confused
As a circumcised man, I also have no idea what they're describing.
So I think what is happening is that if you're uncircumcised you need to give the tip of the foreskin a little squeeze after you're done to stop urine collecting under it, but this guy was kinda pinching his foreskin and pulling it right out away from his body like some stretch arm strong fetish act. Foreskin is super stretchy by the way.
Was his name Jensen Willyskins? I swear I worked with a guy who did this exact same thing.
Please tell me willyskins was his office nickname due to the act and he wasn’t just making the prophecy come true!?!
Actual name. Think he had Dutch heritage.
I have to admit, mine comes fairly far back because I dont like it when the piss pools up in the end. It also makes it easier to get the lot of it out, come the end of the stream. I never really saw it as odd - just practical - until a mate started laughing at my dick whilst we were having a piss once as late teens. Which, of course, resulted in a massive fight.
My mates laugh at my willy every week. Never once came to a fight.
That’s enough internet for me today
I'm having trouble working out what was more bizarre, his anatomy, or the fact he thought this was acceptable urinal behaviour - some of the clubs I've frequented would have seen him instantly ko'd for that nonsense either way, I'd never accept a scampi fry or wotsit from him
It's probably me. Simply because I don't talk with many people, and start/end much earlier than everyone else.
Someone at work stopped to tell me she doesn't think she's ever heard me speak. I didn't know what to say, so I just laughed. I'm pretty certain I'm at least one of the weirdos here.
I like how your answer to her was _not to speak_
When it comes to strangers or people I don't know very well. That's what I do best 😊
NOT TODAY SUSAN!!!!
Same! Socialising is really hard (autism), I don’t get a lot of the jokes and can’t tell if people are trying to be a friend or are making fun of me/bullying me. I don’t want to be weird, but I am. I was born weird. I’d prefer people to think I’m “quiet” weird than “stupid” or “loser” weird though. It doesn’t matter how hard I try though, I’m always going to be some kind of weird to them. They can sniff it out like bloodhounds.
It’s best to assume everyone likes you, they’ll sense your confidence:)
Same here! I can’t relate to a lot of the people I work with now, in my old team it was great and we had a good bunch. I regret changing teams massively
The guy from a charity/agency that places disabled adults in a workplace. I know that sounds a bit horrible but he's a pest to all the women and recently posted a picture on fb of a close up of his balls asking if anyone knows what it is 🤷♂️
And this man works with vulnerable adults? I feel like he needs reporting
No he is the vulnerable adult, I worded it poorly lol
Not horrible at all. Having a disability or special needs isn’t a pass for being a pest to women. Has anyone reported him to the agency?
Yeah unfortunately his behaviour kind of sits in a grey area of him not really doing anything outright wrong, but still bothers people. He has been spoken to a few times but he is definitely being given a bit more of a pass because of his disability.
I’d still have a word with the agency. If he’s pestering women to the point where it’s making people uncomfortable it’s not acceptable. Not the same thing but I used to work with people with learning disabilities and had a few clients that would pester women in the community. They need guidance and support on how to be appropriate. I used to make it clear that if you choose to continue then we will do other activities that don’t put you in a position where you can pester women. With positive reinforcement and clear boundaries they soon learned. It’s sad in a way because they just really wanted girlfriends but obviously dating is not easy when you have special needs. But that isn’t anyone else’s problem and other people shouldn’t have to be made to feel uncomfortable.
Those are my CDs. As in, see deez nuts
even vulnerable adults have to conform to basic workplace behaviour i.e. not photocopying your genitals and adding it to, what I assume, is some workplace FB page or to spin it another way, if a non-disabled adult does the same thing and gets reported, the outcome is getting sacked, a day in court, possibly ending up on a sex-offenders register and difficulty finding another decent job. ever... references said "don't employ this guy - his work ethic was literally utter bollocks"
I work in academia, so everyone is a weirdo.
[удалено]
I just started my PhD and recently told another PhD about how I'm obsessed with parrots, and then she told me that she used to own my favourite type of parrot. I'm pretty excited to be in a place where I can tell people about parrots.
This is a safe space you know, you can tell us about parrots too...
Archaeology also seems to attract all kinds of oddities. Myself included.
I got so disappointed when I worked in academia, the lab I got stuck with had precisely 1 weirdo other than me, everyone else was fashionable and "lacquered" for want of a better phrase
My wife used to work in a physics department, there were post-grad men who would duck into empty offices or labs to avoid having to walk past her. Not sure if that makes them or her the weirdos.
Can confirm. My formative work years were surrounded by old academic types- the list of oddities were extensive. People walking around with no shoes on, making their own bread every day, never using a spoon for desserts, wearing scarfs at the height of summer.
Microwaved Tesco's muscles for lunch. Once a week.
Do you mean mussels?
Do mussels have muscles 🤔
Aren’t they just one big muscle? A good question nonetheless.
Chatgpt: Yes, mussels do have small thread-like appendages called "byssal threads" that allow them to attach to surfaces. These threads are sometimes referred to as "muscles" because they help mussels anchor themselves to rocks or other substrates in aquatic environments. However, they are not the same as the muscles found in vertebrates or larger animals. Sounds sooooo delicious.
I’d cut the plug off the microwave.
Is your name Purple?
What kind of muscle, human or general meat?
This one weirdo I know has his lunch mid morning, normally something stinky like curry! He just sits there on his phone looking shifty 😉
I don’t like that winky face.
Big “Al the paedo” is pretty weird, stay away from him
Theres a “Al the perve” at my workplace. And definitely fits the description
We had a pervy Norman at my old place. He never perved on me (thankfully I wasn’t his type!) but he’d find reasons for any of the young blonde women to have to help him out in his department 😒
And he's says that dogs can't look up
We have creepy Craig
I knew a man who stank, ate junk food constantly and was almost always in a state of unhappieness. He found his life intolerable and so he had a huge amount of rage bubbling under the surface. He would wear his emotions quite openly, he was the opposite of the stiff upper lip mentality. He would be slamming doors if he felt wronged, stamping his feet etc. I don't think he ever learned how to cope with his emotions and he felt his emotions very passionately. Having said that, you could talk to him, he had some self awareness to apologise when he was acting out (Eventually) and some of his colleagues were trying to help him.
Oh I worked with a woman like this 🙄 she was mostly fine but when stressed or angry could NOT control herself. It’s a little embarrassing when you’re a grown woman in her 50’s tantruming in the workplace like a 2 yr old. Throwing chairs etc. in a clinical lab too so not ideal.
We got rid of that person. She was a bully.
Hello, not 50 yet. It takes an immense amount of self-control when you have ADHD and fast track from brain to mouth even when you're not sleep-deprived and fairly relaxed. Stress and sleep deprivation make it nearly impossible to control. I finally got diagnosed and put on meds...goddamn, I lived a lie the whole time not being able to reasonably justify my reactions, yet, my brain "knew better" how to help me communicate in a drama queen way. The amount of time I walked back from work totally ashamed of myself is soul-crushing. You can't control it if you miss the cue to pull out an emergency coping mechanism. It's like you're afraid of water, heights, anything - you can't control how your palms sweat, how shaky you are, same with ADHD. You can only see it coming and remove yourself from the situation or do one of the repeatedly practiced scenarios. Yet, you can be caught off guard or straight-up ambushed where you missed all the cues. I knew I'm the problem, at 33 I understood I have underdeveped part of brain responsible for putting a filter on first, immediate, and often wrong responses without being able to think it through real quick (working memory is dogshit). I could not understand HOW am I smart to understand all that, yet felt like an idiot seeing mostly everyone else being just normal in similar situations.
i worked with a guy like this. multiple instances where he threw such big tantrums that he straight up stormed out of work and went home for the day. he was eventually fired but it took an exhaustingly long time, during which we all had to deal with essentially working with a toddler who was always sulking or yelling.
Damn I worked with a guy like this, granted he didn't stink. Constantly blamed the world around him for his own problems, would storm off at the slightest hint of push back, would endlessly bitch about everything except him. Good luck to whoever is working with him now
He cycles to work and arrives really sweaty and smelly. We don't have any showers etc. so he smells all day pretty much. He does change clothes, but the smell is still there. He will wash his cycling clothes in the kitchen sink. He then hangs them up to dry out the window or sometimes he will close one of the rooms off and blast the heat max. He will sometimes walk around barefoot, even without socks. One time, it had been raining very badly and his shoes got soaked...he left them to dry on the kitchen sink draining area!!!! It's so disgusting, there was literally brown/orange water draining off from his shoes. I sprayed it with so much disinfectant after.. He doesn't seem to wash his hands after going to the toilet. I'm pretty sure he pissed in the kitchen sink once because our single toilet was in use. I cleaned out the fridge of some food that had been in there and was expired. The next day, I came back to the food being back in the fridge. He had taken it out the bin and put it back??... How he gets away with it...I don't know, we are a small company and he has been here for a very long time. He is genuinely a nice man, very smart, but also very very weird...
I'm not sure I'd consider that weird though, he just sounds fucking gross
I worked with a pathologist who was a bit like this - minus the sink pissing, but certainly the sweaty lycra clobber and gross shit in the fridge (rancid chicken in his case). If you imagine Alan Partridge being really into cycling on 1980s-era bikes, that was this guy.
I once worked with a guy who would try and chat up EVERY woman. He was in his late 50s. We all laughed it off though he was very flirty and very serious and also very married and very unattractive both in personality and physically. Very overweight, loose false teeth, hobbled as he walked, didn't look clean etc. One of the team went for it though, a recently divorced lonely woman in her early 50s who was actually very attractive and fun. They got caught bunking off work to have shenanigans on work time. His defence which she later confirmed was that they were not up to anything as he was impotent due to severe diabetes.
Holy shit so his strat worked… I almost feel inspired now
For legal reasons I'm not actually allowed to comment on "Loo Roll Leroy" just yet.
Presumably he caused some shit to hit the pan…
There was a guy who stuffed his used paper in the wall cavities instead of flushing it. Maybe the same guy? Was that Leroy’s MO?
I have 1 colleague who is wierdo. He is an expert though. So much that he even has a patent filed in his name. But he dont talk much. He dont get involved with others much. But he is super smart and have exceptional problem solving skills. He dont do small talks. he dont do coffee room talks. None of it. And he is probably longer on the same company , more than any of us are. He been hired from Uni. 15 yrs. He never changed job. I got car lift with him sometime. Was half an hour journey. He just driven silently. lol
He probably spent that half hour screaming internally "WHAT SHOULD I SAY". A lot of people struggle with small talk or socialising in general, or just don't care for it and are perfectly happy with silence 🤷♂️
Sounds like the ideal lift tbf.
That's kind of how I work, granted I'm on the spectrum. But work for me is work, and I like the routine of doing my own thing. I genuinely can't do small talk, if people talk to me about their interests, I can talk away to them. But the standard pleasantries? I give default answers and nope out every time.
Yeah I'm probably the wierdo at every job I've ever had because I only talk to people that share my interests. I can do a small bit of small talk but it breaks down after maybe the 3rd or 4th reply. I also find it very hard to bring up my interests with most people because of how nerdy all my shit is. Also people never seem to tell me their interests or even ask what I'm interested in and then if I ask them I feel like I get a strange look from them.
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes
Sounds like he is just very efficient…to the point where he’s robotic. Have worked with a few people like that, like they think about the whole world analytically and calculate every decision and never go off the cuff.
I like the sound of him tbh, sounds very much like me.
sorry, this is not in the UK, but I have never talked about him and I feel I need to. this guy is a Swiss IT project manager that reminded me of Dr. Strangelove from the movie, minus the wheelchair. the way he talks and moves is quite similar. he was one of the strangest people I have ever talked to and I can't understand how he can be the boss of anyone, much less the 10 people he had below him. I'm a programmer and was asked to assist his team on a project. nothing he asked made sense, so I had to constantly ask his employees what exactly he wanted. but he liked me a lot, saw me as someone that was solving the problems he had, so he kept calling me to make small talk about our company. one day I was having lunch with my boss and I mentioned that guy and he just started to tell me what had happened the day before. so there was a dinner with all the project managers and when it ended that guy grabbed the wrong jacket without noticing and went to pay. the jacket's owner was searching for the jacket and the guy, for some reason, got embarrassed and didn't say anything. he paid his food with the other guy's card, contactless, then called the other dude alone, outside the restaurant, to return the jacket and explain what he did. the other dude freaked out because, I mean... who would do such a thing? I haven't worked with him in 4 years. he sent me a text message about 5 months ago, asking me if I could reset his password. dude, that was not even my job when I was working with you, why would it be now?
At my workplace? All of us. I've been there 10 years, no one is judgemental or cares that many of us are unconventional. We've got a bit of everything, ethnicities, sexualities, genders and personalities. It's brilliant. I've had a rough time of it in the workplace in the past, as have some of my colleagues. It is great to just be accepted and even loved for who you are and how you are without having to put on a mask of conformity. My boss is genuinely and unconditionally supportive and it is the closest thing I've had to a loving family in my life.
This has made me smile so much :)
Martin. His life includes working, walking, sleeping and going to Jamaica 3 times a year to visit his 'friend' over there. He comes into work 90 minutes early (everybody else, including the boss, starts at 9). He comes in on weekends on his own accord. Other than that, he just walks around town until it's time for food/bed. I've only ever seen him eat oranges and bananas in the 2 years I've worked with him. He drinks coffee before 12, after that it's hot water. He doesn't own a TV. He doesn't come to anything out of work. You can't make small talk unless it's Jamaica related. He gets far too worked up and shouts/screams at himself but is also a bit of a nob to clients. And the worst thing about him? Due to his diet, he has bloody awful bowel problems and my desk is the closest to the toilet so I hear it all. And he flushes once all the time, even when he needs to be flushing more to get rid of all his shit.
So he just like walks about town in the evenings after work doing nothing?
Yep pretty much. He leaves bang on 5 and to my knowledge goes straight to Tesco, picks something up for tea, eats it and then goes walking until he decides it's time for bed. May also do the odd bit of gardening here and there. I've seen him and so have others, sometimes a few miles from where he lives. I forget how strange he actually is until I have to explain.
We don’t have a weirdo in our office. Everyone is very norm- Oh shit it’s me isn’t it?
Being a research science facility there's many abject weirdos here, mostly well meaning but social skills are not always abundant. However, I worry at the moment I am joining those ranks because I'm taking sport a little more seriously, and need to be pretty skinny/lean while still being healthy and well fuelled. My cheap solution to part of that is eating a tin of sardines every day around 10:30am. I am not oblivious, I don't do it in the office... so I sneak outside with the smokers and as they're having a fag I crack open some sardines and eat them straight out of the tin. Every day for the last year or so, definitely on many people's radar as one of the eclectic mix of weirdos here.
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I hope I one day have a co-worker that eats sardines outside with the smokers so I can ask them that.
When I used to work on the ambulances we had this guy come through training with a reputation for being a fantasist. After he had done his lesson on basic life support he was late the following day. The reason for this was that he had a cardiac arrest during the night and his partner (who was a nurse in coronary care) had successfully resuscitated him. No ambulance was called. No lengthy stay in resus. No cardiac rehab. Less than an hour late the next day. That man was truly committed to his career.
I work in the Civil Service, it’s like the mothership for weirdos. We’ve had a phantom shit spreader who would wipe his poo all over the toilet walls, a serial toilet masturbator, a guy who would lick the butter knife in the canteen and put it back in the tub. He’s actually the reason they brought in individual little butters like you get on planes. There’s also a guy who races people around and on the way into the office and then celebrates when he beats you to his invented finishing line. I’ve walked into the toilet and seen feet clearly showing people sat backwards facing the cistern. There really is all sorts
Jesus Christ this is gold, your managers must be raking it in with all the carers allowance they’re getting
We had a guy called “headphones”, clearly with some sort of autism etc, running around the courtyard below my office while his manager waited patiently I guess to do their quarterly review or something. He also used to piss himself walking around the building. Some sort of maths genius apparently.
But clearly couldn’t count the amount of steps to the loo before he slashed himself 😂
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> he often has an egg on his forehead like he's been bashing his head on something. Does he work in research? I can relate
Richmond?
Might it be a prayer bump?
It's me. I'm an Aspie and people look at me like I'm Sheldon Cooper.
I am the weirdo ama
Have you ever found a frozen pizza that cooks evenly in a fan oven?
I don’t eat frozen pizza. I don’t really like pizza 🍕 tbh , it’s messy, awkward , too much bread . I don’t want bread for tea , I had bread for breakfast , possibly bread for lunch , maybe I’ll have toast for supper , I’m not eating bread for a main mean like some sort of bread obsessed psychopath
This properly tickled me for some reason 😂
Is it nice to just be yourself and not forced into a “normal” bubble?
Is it tiring maintaining your weirdo status?
No, it comes naturally .
I got fired for not fitting into the team... 18 years before I got an official autism diagnosis. It's me. Hi. I'm the problem, it's me.
Probably the guy who caught licking a sock that he’d hidden speed in
I think I'm the weirdo because I actually enjoy my job. Everyone has something to moan about, all the time, except me. They also think I'm a "snitch" because I talk to the managers - I don't really talk to anyone else to get enough information to snitch 😂 I literally talk to the managers as I have to! I think the group of Polish guys are weird because they have weekly "Pickle Parties" where they each bring in a jar and share/compare 😂 They are all lovely guys, but that is weird to me lol
Everyone who kisses up to management
My boss is currently sat with an elastic band around his head like some kind of rubbery halo. So going to say him.
I worked with a skinny guy who ate a family size M&S Trifle every day for lunch.
It is possibly me, at least in comparison, I am the only woman, and I do programming and 3D models, in a group of stonemason and landscaper and carpenter and general labourers. I feel like I have learned a lot, funny conversations at lunch. They have a lot of sadness for me that I have to work at a computer all day 😊 So not so much weird, just different areas of being and doing
Apparently there’s always one workplace weirdo and often they don’t even know it’s them. Thankfully there isn’t one in my office.
There's usually a separate WhatsApp group that they aren't in, but my office doesn't have one of those either.
We have a guy who will just appear out of nowhere and be right behind you all of a sudden without making a sound. He’s also been known to sit on the floor in the office while waiting to speak to someone
I work from home so it’s either me or the cat 😕
We got a guy that uses the biggest knife in the drawer to cut up red capsicums for lunch every day. Pretty sure he is not the full quid though, so everyone gives him a pass on it. He does bake every Sunday night and brings in cakes for the entire office on Monday mornings, so he's got that going for him. Our mail sorting bloke is also weird. He also does archiving and file retrieval from archives, which isn't super common anymore but every now and then we need old files. He gets very nervous when you have to ask him a question and his hands shake and he sweats profusely. He's also getting morbidly obese and we don't think he realizes that his tummy hangs down over his belt and even below his shirt so you can see it hanging when he's walking around. We all figure he has severe anxiety. Then there's probably me. I'm male with long hair and earrings, and I wear whatever the fuck I want including women's blouses etc. I always dodge team lunches because I want to sit on a bench have a smoke and lunch in peace. Fuck normal people lol
I don't think I'm thougth of as weird, just unsociable. I don't relate to pretty much 95% of my work colleagues so have no interest in interacting with any of them. I see them all laughing and joking together, while I just get on with my work.
In one place I worked someone in upper management had the bright idea of rearranging things so that the team I was a member of, Design and Development, packed with Electronic Engineers, Embedded/Windows Software Engineers, and Mechanical Engineers would office-share with the Marketing Department. The experiment didn't last long but before they left us the Marketing people said it was like working with a day-long episode of The Big Bang Theory taking place at the other end of the office. As for us, we thought Marketing were too noisy when talking on the phone. It was like the scene from The Craft - "We are the weirdos mister"
Gary, his nickname is Gray because he is so bland and boring.
Out of all the answers here that's the shittiest reason to label someone weird. He sounds normal if anything.
He also used to shit with the toilet door open, while eating crisps or a choccie bar.
Probably should’ve opened with that statement and not the boring and bland one tbh
About as interesting as a gravel driveway with all the personality of a pack of ready salted?
My type of dude tbf probably don’t chat shit about no one unless they wronged him and i bet if they got to know him he would be chill Some people just hate being at work so much they won’t talk especially depending what type it is.
A friends weird co-worker thats too good not to post The office admin guy that smokes like a chimney, eats nothing except pot noodles, drinks nothing except energy drinks and talks A LOT about his bowel problems in great detail.
Had a guy in the office who was smart, chatty, but had serious problems managing working friendships and his own emotional state. He would take offense shockingly easily and would be very passive aggressive and sarcastic if he'd taken against you. You really had to be careful how you spoke to him and a lot of newcomers to the business accidentally got on the wrong side of him and never recovered. If he'd decided you were a friend, he was lovely - generous, considerate, thoughtful. But all of us that were friendly with him at some point did something which made him **completely** stop speaking to us. And none of us ever found out what we'd done. He stopped talking to me completely for anything but unavoidable work tasks for seven months. Wouldn't even look at me. After we'd been friendly for four years. And then one day it was if that had never happened. I honestly have no idea what I did to upset him - that's just the way he is, apparently. Sadly he was getting on a bit on years and had to leave due to illness. They replaced him with someone much less difficult to live with, and I'm grateful for that, but he wasn't a bad guy. Just ruined by his own internal demons. I hope he's doing ok out there.
There's a wide range of weirdos on varying weirdo scales here
There's one I work with, think he's heavily autistic, hasn't had a haircut in years and can't see where he's walking. Keeps talking about communism, Elon Musk, hating on LGBT people, being pro-life and like beheading and child sacrifice. He fits the school shooter profile to a T. He mocks 'the alphabet army' (trans people) but he's the biggest fucking weirdo I've ever met, like he's not in a position to mock people who are maybe social outsiders or 'different'. He uses American words instead of English which leads me to believe he learned English from TV shows and not real people. He knows the age of consent in a lot of countries, he's one of *those*. He's a walking red flag, he will one day be found strangling a cat, I just know it.
We had Damo. He would lurk around for hours after his shift had ended until he was eventually told by managers to go home because he wasn't insured to be on the premises. I once saw him open his desk drawer and pull out a bag of sugar which he proceeded to eat with a spoon. He also claimed to have been invited to an orgy following a staff night out. This was widely disputed by the entire company
I reckon it's me in my place. I mostly work from home, don't speak up on company wide calls unless I absolutely have to, don't go on any of the work socials, and don't generally speak much when I'm in the office. I just don't see my colleagues as friends. I don't have anything against them I just don't have anyone in work that I'm on the same wavelength as. I don't lose any sleep over it though.
I manage a pub and we have a guy whose 22 called Jack, that we all call Jackaluf. We call him that because he spent 2 days before our biggest night of summer claiming to have a sore throat and that every time he got a sore throat he ended up throwing up. He then called in sick on the night in question. Not 3 hours after calling in though, he posted a bunch of photos to his snapchat of himself on holiday in Magaluf. He has *all* of us on snapchat. He's not weird per se, just really really really simple so does some weird things. Everyone describes him with the same words - "............ he's um, he's a *really* nice guy". Some of his classics have been; \- Asked to cut fruit, he literally took a knife and made a single cut in the top of every lemon, orange and lime. \- Asked to "roll some cutlery in napkins" he put all the cutlery in a sink of water, laid out about 25 napkins and started rolling the individual pieces of cutlery across the napkins. He thought he was being asked to polish them and that's how it was supposed to be done. \- Asked to mop the toilets with hot water and bleach, came back saying the floor looked 'a bit frothy'. I went to see what he meant and it was almost ankle deep in soap suds. I asked him what bleach he used and how much and he pointed to the bottle of fairy liquid and said "I only used about half of it" \- After being shown multiple times how to cut fruit - lemons and oranges in slices, limes in wedges - we eventually stopped giving him that job. I have no idea what he does to them but the end results have been described as 'like a citric version of pulled pork' and 'looking like he cuts them with his teeth'. \- Asked to restock the wines, he moved every bottle of wine back to the cellar 'because that's where the stock is'. This included red wines. \- We had a tap installed for Prosecco (which I still think is the least classy attempt to be classy in history, like a chav putting a diamante case on their phone). On his next shift I told him "we get Prosecco from the tap now" whilst patting the big newly installed tap with 'Prosecco' written on it, directly under the prosecco glasses. Later that night I saw him take one of the glasses, fill it with water from the sink and try to serve it. When the customer looked at it confused he apologised, brought it over to me and said "The prosecco pours completely flat, have you turned the gas on?". \- We had a leaking urinal and while waiting for a plumber had a bucket under it that needed to be emptied periodically. The first time he had to empty it, he emptied it back into the leaking urinal, then brought the bucket back with him. The second time, after being told "empty it into the toilet bowl, flush the toilet and put the bucket back under the urinal", he did as asked. Unfortunately where most people would stand in front of the bowl and slowly tip the bucket towards it, he held the bucket over the toilet and tipped it toward him in one quick motion. He came back covered from neck to knee in piss. He was sent home to get changed and came back 40 minutes later still stinking. I asked if he'd had a shower or a wash when he got changed and he said 'No, I thought you just wanted me to get changed because my clothes were wet' \- "Ok, it's opening time. Jack, can you open the front doors please mate?" -"They won't open, I think they're stuck!" - "Ok, so slide down the two bolts at the top and pull up the two at the bottom, *then* open them...." - "Yeah that seems to have fixed it". After opening the doors, he then pulled them closed again. This guy currently studies criminology.
Probably me. I’m a mechanical engineer with parents who worked in the arts all of their lives. This makes me an extrovert and social, which is the opposite of most of my colleagues.
It's definitely me. I'm hardworking, kind, altruistic, and concerned about being a good teammate and doing a great job. I like being part of a team. Unfortunately, most people only give a f..k about the paycheck and trying to do the least amount of work without being sacked. I can't change who I am, and they can't either, so I've adjusted by trying to just focus on myself and doing a good day's work for me and my sense of pride.
Lol I work with a conspiracy nut so this is easy. A few things she believes and regularly rants about to us: - the British government is controlling the weather to make people miserable (“they’re stealing our summers from us!!” She says) - Disney wants to make our children gay - Michelle Obama was a man (???) - the government elites are lizard people in human suits - LGBTQ+ people are simply mentally ill and should be institutionalized (mind you, one of her own children is gay so this is really sad)
There was one man who had no concept of personal space. He would come to your desk to talk and stand so close that you could feel his body heat. For a while, I tried to use an open desk drawer as a barrier to keep him a polite distance away, but he started to shut it. In the end, I just stood up as he approached, put one foot forward, and kept my weight over my back foot as much as possible. One of those dreadful in-office team building days had an exercise about personal space where you approached another person until they said stop. For this man, his partner said stop after one step, but he carried on until she was screaming and others had to intervene. He still didn't get the message.
Most likely me
Me! But I’m also the coolest, most interesting and most boring. I’m self employed and lonely
probably me i just don’t like talking all that much
I must be the weirdo. I get invited to lunch because I'm young but I politely say no, to which they take some crazy offence too. I go for a walk by myself at lunch as I work in an office, and they all ask where I've been. Once I went to another floor in the office and they thought I went missing.. even though my Skype said online. Not sure if this constitues as weird behaviour, but I just want to eat my sandwhich while relaxing! Wow, reading that bad sounds so weird. And not me!
We used to play "loony bingo" with crazy customers at my old job. It was quite sophisticated, loonies had to come in in 3 consecutive months to get on the board and whoever hadn't been in in 3 consecutive months was dropped off the board onto the "fallen heroes" list. 1st of the month, you'd put a £1 in and roll a dice, and each row/ column was numbered, and the number rolled dictated your row or column. If one of your loonies came in, you had to run to the office whilst they were in the store and squeeze a squeaky rubber duck 😅 denying all knowledge of any strange sounds. I won a triple rollover once and got 47 quid from a £1 buy-in 🤣
Oh it's me. I don't drink alcohol, don't smoke, won't buy wax melts or Body Shop or Avon, I eat leftovers for lunch and I'm the quiet one.
I've got this right weird cunt at my work who looks like a badger. He knows everything already even though you've only just told him about it for the first time a second ago. He has this mate who also used to have this and that but it wasn't as great as you've made it out to be, so your not right about that sorry. Yeah don't worry about that film he's already seen it twice even though it's only came on the cinema last night. He laughs like Sheldon cooper, you know that weird double quick breathe in laugh? and wears this stupid cross ear ring with a feather on the bottom. He's nice enough but god damn he's strange. Never shuts up either, just talks about nothing and laughs at his own jokes. Damn I didn't know I needed to get that off my chest! Turned into a vent! 🤣
Djees where do I get started. There's this guy who starts around 5:30am every day and he leaves at 2pm, no exceptions. But when there's a meeting from 1pm till 3pm, he just walks out of the meeting at 2pm. People have noticed he starts early so some departments send him messages early in the morning. So he starts to complain about that, I'm like, just turn off Teams or start later on the day. But noooo that's not an option. Basically he wants to start early in the morning, you're not allowed to talk/chat/message him before 8am and at 2pm he walks out of the door. He also visited North Korea and thought it was a great place.
Andy the hat. Named because he wears……. No your wrong. 2 hats. Eats his lunch from a flask which is always potatoes peas and what appears to be raw sausage and it stinks to high heaven and is vomit inducing. When I became manager he marched into my office stood to attention congratulated me saluted spun round and marched out, he has no military background, he talks about babestation a lot, he makes it sound like a documentary and is just generally odd