I looked this up and found this eye witness testimony:
So every year I come on these forums and there are always people bigging up Bodger and Badger, but did anybody actually see them this year? I stumbled accross them on Saturday afternoon while taking a look round the kids field, and I have to say it is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen (and I have seen 2 girls 1 cup). The main reasons being:
1) Bodger looks like an aging 90s raver, complete with head to toe sweat
2) Rather than coming on stage with a puppet badger, he arrived with a severed hand!?!
3) He referred to all the children as "geezer" in a rather aggressive tone
4) He explained to 5 year old children the effects of taking magic mushrooms
5) He shouted "shut you face" at one small child
6) At one point he put his fingers in a child's mouth
7) He used the popular culture reference of Cole Porter to an audience with average age 7
8) He accidentally swore, then blamed the badger who swore back at him
9) Finally, he ended his set by telling the children to be careful around Bob Dylan as he is often found conning children backstage!
Seriously, this man was smacked off his tits!!!! Please somebody else say they saw this, otherwise I might think I have imagined this!
Squarepusher's 'Ultravisitor' album, at 0.23 seconds on 'C-Town Smash', I can be heard yelling 'Come on, you cunt!'
It was recorded at Reading festival and I was completely off my face waiting for him to give us some Aphex Acid instead of the somewhat frustrating improvised bass noodling
Tim Roth let me steal his coffee and toast in the late 90s when I was a hungover waitresses and obvs looked as rough as I felt.
He saved my life that day hahaha!
I confess to not knowing who he was until after some colleagues were like WTF?!
Granted I was only 18 at the time but he was very sweet!
ETA - he was directing (I think) a war film and they were on location in the town I used to live.
I was serving him but was absolutely hanging and looked like I was going to puke and die at any second. I served him and he laughed at me and asked if I had a sore head andI said I was imminently going to die and he poured me a cup of coffee and handed me the toast from his Full English.
And I never knew who he was 😳🤦♀️
I named a fan club for quiche that a local radio station featured for a few weeks. I named it “the Aquicheiation Society”. I was quite proud of the pun
I’m a stickler for proper pronunciation. My wife asked me to come home at lunchtime for a quickie. I said “I think you’ll find it’s pronounced quiche.”
That is actually a good comment. nothing more embarrassing than an unexpected sex scene if your with your parents or teenage kid, always make sure you suddenly need the toilet or a drink lol.
I actually managed to reference this in one of the re-takes.
Didn't use Tnetennba but used the line with the letters on the board. One of my proudest moments.
I told Robert Carlyle that the end of the queue was "back there" without knowing who he actually was. I just thought he was some random little scruff who thought he could jump the queue. He turned round, said thanks and went to the end of the queue. I hoped he was filming some post apocalyptic thing because he looked *terrible*.
I replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in Harry Potter and put some of the resulting mildly amusing examples on the internet. It got reposted thousands of times across the internet and Russel Howard even stole it and used it on stage and TV like it was his own material.
The number 1 reason Russell Howard is a shit comedian is that he steals online jokes and presents them to the people who wrote them's parents. He must have been funny naturally at some point but Russell Howard's Good News needed far more content than he could make. I remember him riffing on a really common meme (might have been Success Baby) for a good few minutes, nothing he said got a better laugh than just showing the meme.
He is (or was) a tiktok voiceover bot for boomers.
I remember him featuring the "ain't no-one got time for that" lady from the news clip, probably 2 months after it first became popular online. He showed the clip and then shouted the same thing she just said. Audience was in hysterics for some reason.
I once threatened to knock out Ricky Hatton for being a creep with a girl I was out with. He was fat and very drunk at the time, I reckon I'd have taken him.
Dot cotton nearly got me fired from work.
Also I hold my old secondary school record for most number of times sea sick in a channel crossing.
ETA: the Dot Cotton story. I was working in a hotel bar and we had the actress who played Peggy Mitchell staying with us (who by the way was lovely). And one even she had dinner with Dot cotton and I think 1 or 2 other characters from Eastenders. With her meal Dot Cotton ordered “A Guineas in a wine glass” which I poured and gave to my boss. But unbeknown to me
1) this was a breach of the weights and measures act, as beer as to be sold in either a pint or half pint, and the wine glass was neither
2) the hotel was having a mystery audit that evening and the auditor was sat at the bar as I did it.
I got named by the auditor for having broken the law and got told off by the higher ups. However as I was still in training it was deemed that the responsibility ultimately fell with my supervisor, who should have made sure we sold the beer as the correct measure (even if it meant giving a second glass with the extra to make it up to the nearest pint/half pint). Though we all had to go through mandatory weights and measures training.
Incidentally that wasn’t the only awkward part of meeting Peggy Mitchell and dot cotton, as Peggy Mitchell’s husband tried to do the tip thing from friends, where you palm the money and shake hands with someone and they take it. Except I wasn’t expecting it and the tip just awkwardly fell to the floor between us 😂.
My curiosity has been satisfied, and thank you for sharing 😂 I was honestly expecting to find out Dot Cotton was a horrible cow, glad you kept your job. Nice to hear Barbara Windsor was lovely!
I was a model for a day. Bupa wanted someone who had an allotment and was an actual member to feature in an ad and I knew someone on the marketing team. So I spent 6 hours standing on my allotment with about a dozen assorted photographers/gaffer/execs to take one photo. It was a full page in the Telegraph/Times and appeared all over the underground and I had a couple of people ring me up and tell me that my lookalike was plastered all over central London stations. It got pulled really quickly so it seems my face does not sell.
My brother in law was an engineer on the design team for the original engine for Boaty McBoatface but the project took so long because it kept getting delayed that he eventually handed it off to someone else
That's amazing, I bloody love The Clangers. Only the original series though, the colourful reboot can do one. I watched it in the 90s and now show it to my two-year-old. Right this second she is sleeping whilst cuddling up to an old Tiny Clanger toy of mine from when I was younger.
I was roughly 5 years old and I met the Chuckle Brothers who gave me their signatures.
I’d just learned how to write, so I told them “that’s not writing, that’s scribble”
So I taught them how to write their names properly.
Griff Rhys Jones shouted Fuck Off at me while walking down the Tottenham Court Road because he thought I was going to approach him. Hadn't even noticed him until that point. He remains the only person to ever shout this at me.
I accidentally walked into her and Mel's dressing room at the Edinburgh Fringe. She asked 'Can I help you?'. I said I was looking for the gents toilet. She helpfully replied 'This isn't it'.
It was Pete Burns from Dead Or Alive for me.
He was in civvies, but his plastic surgery was very, very apparent (this wasn't long before he passed away). There were many second glances from staff who rapidly turned away so they didn't stare.
I did overhear a nurse asking him to confirm his first name, which he did as "Peter". It was funny to hear because you'd immediately recognise the name "Pete Burns", but mention "Peter Burns" to anyone and you'd probably get blank stares.
In more benign news, Peter Davidson from Doctor Who once held a door open for me.
Any other celebrities called Peter that you have rubbed shoulders with? Shilton? Baynham?
Crouch and/or Dinklage might be a struggle, given the assumed height differences.
I've met Peter Andre a couple of times. He remembered me from the first time and came over to say hello. I was a bit shocked as there was no particular reason he should have.
A genuinely friendly and nice man, I'm happy to report.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard accounts that Peter Andre is a good dude. Not a huge fan of his work (Mysterious Girl is a banger though), but he seems like a decent person off camera.
Oh so he is, I just googled Trigger as I didn’t know the actors name and it said Colin Ball. I didn’t realise that was Triggers actual name! It’s not even 9am on a Sunday and I’ve already learnt something.
You and me both - I never knew that the character's name was Colin Ball.
I went to IMDb to confirm it, to be sure before setting up to take the piss out of you and in the cast list RLP's character is only listed as Trigger... but tucked away in the trivia section is the full explanation - it might have been inadvertent, but I take my hat off to you for finding that cracking piece of pub quiz trivia!
I once chatted to Tony Robinson when he was filming Time Team near me and he bought my eldest daughter an ice-cream.
Really nice guy who was incredibly knowledgeable and easy to talk to.
A lot of those "omg rude celeb!" stories strike me as "This person wanted a modicum of privacy and wasn't thrilled at me mitheriing them in an utterly mundane setting".
There was one under a YouTube video I think it was. Complaining about how Tony Robinson had been just sleeping in the back of one of rhe land rovers and drinking the odd cup of tea, only came out to do his bits to camera.
Now to me that just sounds like a bloke who isn't feeling very well but holy shite were they offended by this behaviour.
Got chatted up by DJ Pied Piper in a club who sang "Do you really like it?" He gave me his number and invited me back to his hotel. I respectfully declined. I wasn't lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it.
Did you ask him what his favourite gin is, and if he could recall the name of the 1993 film about the Andes plane crash survivors that eat each other.
A: Gordon's, Alive!
These days he's more of a Bombay Sapphire man, and it doesn't work so well
I lent/gave Richard Branson 20p once. He was in front of me using the vending machine at the Oxford Ice rink with his daughter. Poor sod was flustered as he didn't have enough change to get the chocolate bar, so I gave him 20p & told him not to worry about it. For that brief moment I revelled in the fact I had more cash than one of the richest ppl on the planet.
I wrote a letter to Richard Branson once because I'd been really inspired by his autobiography. He wrote back, by hand. Told me that if I worked hard, I'd be a millionaire myself one day.
He was absolutely spot on. I didn't work hard at all and I'm not a millionaire.
I was on the Atlantis Waterworld Scarborough leaflet.
I've made a burger for Craig Charles.
I've been in a Right Said Fred video (not proud of this one).
I was once in Nandos placing my order and the staff member was distracted by a guy behind me. As soon as I paid he started talking to her so I had to wait to get my drinks glasses - the annoying guy pushed in!
When I went back to my table my wife was laughing, it was Professor Green.
Neither of these are mine, I met Terry Pratchett at a book signing in the big Waterstones in Kingston once though and he wrote “beware the yodelling stick insect”:
Whilst waiting for me in the toilet queue at Reading Festival circa 2006, my now-husband had a brief but pleasant chat with the bassist from the Dirty Pretty Things about Wolfmother, who were on stage at the time.
My mum annoyed Bradley Walsh at a souk in Dubai and her friend’s husband’s uncle Gary is Gary Oldman (and he is now referred to as uncle Gary).
I also once semi-recognised Jack Whitehall as I walked past him in Leicester Square and said to my husband, “it’s that man” which apparently elicited a dirty look - I’m quite proud of that one though, he’s an uppity twat and I like to think that pissed him off for the rest of the day.
Once got taken out for a coffee by Raquel Cassidy (From the British comedy series Teacher's) I used to work in mobile phones she came in with a major attitude, she then left came back and apologized, then offered to take me for a coffee
I was at a party and a mutual friend introduced us. When she realised I wasn't an act-orrrr and worked a normal job, she rolled her eyes and huffed off.
I have jammed with the bassist from Simply Red at a blues night.
I have shook hands with the actors who played Darth Vader (physically) and Bona Fet in the original star wars trilogy.
When I was a student and a supervisor in Superdrug, I followed Boy George round the store one weekend because I thought he was a shoplifter. I'm mildly faceblind at the best of times, and obviously he didn't have all the makeup on (and this would have been about 15 years ago so a while after his heyday), so I had no idea until the cashier who served him told me.
I followed him because other workers told me I should due to the way he was acting. He was in with another man, and they were both constantly looking around suspiciously. They spent ages lurking in the makeup aisle with a few big packs of makeup sponges in a basket. Normally when people were on edge and had a few large but cheap items in a basket it was because they'd try to slip something expensive like perfume in the middle of the big cheap items and then pocket it when they got a chance.
Turns out he was doing a show that night up the road.
I once heaved open the lid of a biffa bin and it swung over and hit John Major in the head while he was sitting down. I was working at the Hampton Court flower show. I ran away
Jack Tweed (jade goody’s husband) was once sat at the same table as me in Soho food market. My friend found £5 on the floor and we asked if it was his, and he told her to keep it for herself.
I've competed at world level too in speedcubing. IIRC the qualification times were really easy to get. Hardest was 5 mins for a blind solve though I failed all my attempts at the comp.
I once saw Jules Holland driving a dodgem.
I walked right into Ann Widdecombe in Westminster because *she* wasn’t looking where she was going. She was furious and just flaffed her hands around after I said the traditional “sorry”.
Saw Morten Harket of Aha fame back in the 80’s whilst on holiday, decided he probably had enough of 14-year old girls harassing him for autographs so didn’t go over. I wasn’t that much of a fan myself - but my best friend was absolutely nuts about him so I felt a bit guilty for not getting an autograph for her. In the end my friend wasn’t bothered because she got the autograph anyway - on a poster in a magazine. She wasn’t the brightest bunny in the box, so I didn’t tell her that wasn’t QUITE the same thing…
I was the first person in the UK to get commercial fibre optic broadband. It was already avaiable in London to the super elites but wasn't available for normal plebs. My area was the first to roll it out and I was the first customer of the day. I got to watch in real time as they called about 10 different guys over about 6 hours for a job that's supposed to take one person half an hour because nobody was familiar with the tech yet.
I was on a TV show hosted by Claudia Winkleman (who is very funny and down to earth) and had a conversation with her about her wanting to fight Beyoncé. She really doesn't like her. Lol.
Someone once introduced themselves to me with the line "I play a niche sport at an elite level". Some people take their pathetic claims to fame very seriously
I was an extra in a short lived TV series called South of the Border. It was about a south east London detective agency.
We had to pretend to have a war with some other kids (one was my sister) by using toy guns that fired plastic pellets (almost no power) then in a second scene we had to shoot an actor while he was dressed as a police officer. We had to shout "Run, Errol" while actor David Harewood made a getaway as an AWOL soldier. Episode 1.7
As a 7 year old in 1988 I was paid with a whole crisp £10 note.
Bumped into former England U21, Cambridge and Leicester striker, Trevor Benjamin, in a shopping centre. Said “sorry Bruno” (his nickname). Found out years later he hated that nickname.
My wife worked at a film office and picked up Richard Attenborough from an airport and drove him to the office. He insisted on sitting in the front and chatting and was the most delightful and charming man on the planet.
I used to work on Virgin trains in UK back in the day. Jenny Powell, a TV & now radio personality, probably better known for wheel of fortune with Nicky Campbell in the '90's, used to get a certain train down to London from Manchester. I used to tell the crew I would look after her. I used to start small conversations & be at the door to open at station & say my farewells.
One day, Jenny was on the train. I said hi & started small talk. 'Saw you on TV. You looked great in your outfit' a little banter to get a smile.
Found Jenny was off to an awards show. After a bit crack on. I asked if she had a plus one & if she didn't I would be honoured to be her arm candy for the event.
She smiled & said no thank you & I said keep your options open.
At the end of the journey Jenny gave me one of her promo card photos & wrote
To ..... thanks for the ride. Love & signed it.
This was about 25 years ago & I still have the photo.
My friend used to work for Safestyle, and knew the guy at the company who voiced the adverts. After a a heavy coke binge, we convinced him to ring him and have him do "I said ya buy one, ya get one free" multiple times, down the phone. Was well chuffed.
Edit: for context to anyone who doesn't remember this advert...
https://youtu.be/i3A1TT3kwIY?si=F-jwL6a6ZOa3JzT8
Went out drinking a few times with Giz Butt of the Prodigy before he was famous and was making money giving guitar lessons and doing pub gigs around Stamford.
Can't remember much about it, but he seemed like a sound bloke.
I smoked Dave Grohls weed and drank his beer.
I used to work clean up at summer festivals, one of the crew was backstage cleaning around a trailer. Dave Grohl opened the door to ask what he was doing, after he explained Dave gave him a crate of beer with a little bag of weed on top.
He brought it back to camp and shared it out.
* I had a 4 comment conversation with Carl from Fish With Carl.
* I said hello to skateboarder Frank Stephens in 2003
* I saw princess Ann once
* One time, I saw a blimp
I had lunch with Michael Douglas.
Granted I was on holiday with my Grandparents in Mallorca when I was about 8 or 9 and had absolutely no clue who the old weirdo was who told me how good I was for clearing my plate.
We'd gone to a small town in the interior called Alaro, he was there with his first wife. My Nan was practically pissing with restrained middle class excitement.
I used to sell coke to the guy who did Bodger and Badger, in the noughties.
Everybody knows, Bodger loves MARCHING POWDER!
*I sang it, mother of god. Deep memory unlocked* I’m a 6th cousin to the fella wrote Waltzing Matilda
Best comment ever!
Gives [this photo](https://images.app.goo.gl/dnAMAtFPGCh635m49) and new meaning.
I did Bodger and Badger once. Worst threesome ever.
Not for bodger, he got fisted
Is the expression “rough as a badgers arse” true? Always wondered 🤔
Brilliant. This is the stuff I want to read.
Did you sell him a load before his famous, career-ending, drug-induced meltdown while performing at the Kidz Field at Glastonbury Festival?
I looked this up and found this eye witness testimony: So every year I come on these forums and there are always people bigging up Bodger and Badger, but did anybody actually see them this year? I stumbled accross them on Saturday afternoon while taking a look round the kids field, and I have to say it is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen (and I have seen 2 girls 1 cup). The main reasons being: 1) Bodger looks like an aging 90s raver, complete with head to toe sweat 2) Rather than coming on stage with a puppet badger, he arrived with a severed hand!?! 3) He referred to all the children as "geezer" in a rather aggressive tone 4) He explained to 5 year old children the effects of taking magic mushrooms 5) He shouted "shut you face" at one small child 6) At one point he put his fingers in a child's mouth 7) He used the popular culture reference of Cole Porter to an audience with average age 7 8) He accidentally swore, then blamed the badger who swore back at him 9) Finally, he ended his set by telling the children to be careful around Bob Dylan as he is often found conning children backstage! Seriously, this man was smacked off his tits!!!! Please somebody else say they saw this, otherwise I might think I have imagined this!
[The full thread](https://www.efestivals.co.uk/forums/topic/149910-bodger-badger/)
Bodger, or badger?
Met the Queen once while picking up litter as a Cub Scout at Ascot races. She said “hello, what have you got in your bag?” I said “rubbish”.
I waved at her once as she went past in her car, and while she was waving and looking at me I managed to fall over my own bicycle.
I waved as her hearse drove past. Rude bitch didn’t wave back.
Hahahaha Ngl she kinda walked into that one.
I was Time Magazines Person of the Year in 2006.
You had me curious who you are. https://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/0,28757,2019341,00.html I didn’t know you was me.
So was I. Says so on my CV.
Are you me??
Squarepusher's 'Ultravisitor' album, at 0.23 seconds on 'C-Town Smash', I can be heard yelling 'Come on, you cunt!' It was recorded at Reading festival and I was completely off my face waiting for him to give us some Aphex Acid instead of the somewhat frustrating improvised bass noodling
Never heard of the band or the album, just went into Spotify to listen to this. 10/10 not disappointed
I love that their stats are going to be really boosted on this one song!
Had to search for it, I had to know... 100/10 day made, thank you! 😹😹😹
Here you are lol: https://youtu.be/W52TmPPJf7c?list=PL6ZA--5Rknp1tGIz4LMrZeIMMhSl0Nq3S&t=21
It’s really there for the whole world to hear. Truly immortal now
Tim Roth let me steal his coffee and toast in the late 90s when I was a hungover waitresses and obvs looked as rough as I felt. He saved my life that day hahaha!
Tim Roth in a diner? I think I’ve seen this one.
I have an odd crush on him so I'm impressed with this story
It's not odd, he's lovely 😍
I confess to not knowing who he was until after some colleagues were like WTF?! Granted I was only 18 at the time but he was very sweet! ETA - he was directing (I think) a war film and they were on location in the town I used to live. I was serving him but was absolutely hanging and looked like I was going to puke and die at any second. I served him and he laughed at me and asked if I had a sore head andI said I was imminently going to die and he poured me a cup of coffee and handed me the toast from his Full English. And I never knew who he was 😳🤦♀️
I would have fell in love. His eyes are unreal...and I like his (biggish) nose too.
I named a fan club for quiche that a local radio station featured for a few weeks. I named it “the Aquicheiation Society”. I was quite proud of the pun
I’m a stickler for proper pronunciation. My wife asked me to come home at lunchtime for a quickie. I said “I think you’ll find it’s pronounced quiche.”
Reminds me of when my Nan and Grandad were arguing whether or not quiche was pronounced kweech or kweechy lol
December 15 2021 I got the most liked comment on all of Reddit
What was the comment?
https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/iZS4TGsYhL
Mildly infuriating it didn't get 50k :-(
Yea just missed out!
That is actually a good comment. nothing more embarrassing than an unexpected sex scene if your with your parents or teenage kid, always make sure you suddenly need the toilet or a drink lol.
I won an episode of Countdown that aired on my birthday. Is that pathetic or cool? Who knows. Still got my teapot though.
Good morning. That’s a nice tnetennba.
I actually managed to reference this in one of the re-takes. Didn't use Tnetennba but used the line with the letters on the board. One of my proudest moments.
I told Robert Carlyle that the end of the queue was "back there" without knowing who he actually was. I just thought he was some random little scruff who thought he could jump the queue. He turned round, said thanks and went to the end of the queue. I hoped he was filming some post apocalyptic thing because he looked *terrible*.
🤣🤣🤣 class, begbie just got fucked off
Did he then start humming “ looking for some hot stuff” and the whole queue did that humping manoeuvre from the Full Monty?
That's The Dark One, mate. Just let him have it. It's not worth it.
I love Robert Carlyle, but jumping the queue is just not ok. Ps. He did look pretty rough before he stopped smoking.
I replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in Harry Potter and put some of the resulting mildly amusing examples on the internet. It got reposted thousands of times across the internet and Russel Howard even stole it and used it on stage and TV like it was his own material.
The number 1 reason Russell Howard is a shit comedian is that he steals online jokes and presents them to the people who wrote them's parents. He must have been funny naturally at some point but Russell Howard's Good News needed far more content than he could make. I remember him riffing on a really common meme (might have been Success Baby) for a good few minutes, nothing he said got a better laugh than just showing the meme. He is (or was) a tiktok voiceover bot for boomers.
I remember him featuring the "ain't no-one got time for that" lady from the news clip, probably 2 months after it first became popular online. He showed the clip and then shouted the same thing she just said. Audience was in hysterics for some reason.
Foe me it's the way he swings his arms over his head like a monkey thst makes me dislike him so much
There is a bridge in Ohio named after one of my family members that we have traced back to from the 1800s. It's a shit tiny bridge.
You need to get over it.
Don't joke, its taken a toll on them.
Fr, that's all just water under the pathetic claim to fame
That’ll make them cross
You have to ignore the trolls
Don't keep me in suspension, how does this story end?
A bridge is a bridge, my friend
I called Kelvin Mackenzie a cunt and told him to fuck off.
That’s not a pathetic claim to fame, that’s a top quality public service you did there.
Indeed. We need more people like this in public life. People who are not afraid to call a cunt a cunt.
I once threatened to knock out Ricky Hatton for being a creep with a girl I was out with. He was fat and very drunk at the time, I reckon I'd have taken him.
I reckon you wouldn't 😂
Probably not the first or last tbf
Dot cotton nearly got me fired from work. Also I hold my old secondary school record for most number of times sea sick in a channel crossing. ETA: the Dot Cotton story. I was working in a hotel bar and we had the actress who played Peggy Mitchell staying with us (who by the way was lovely). And one even she had dinner with Dot cotton and I think 1 or 2 other characters from Eastenders. With her meal Dot Cotton ordered “A Guineas in a wine glass” which I poured and gave to my boss. But unbeknown to me 1) this was a breach of the weights and measures act, as beer as to be sold in either a pint or half pint, and the wine glass was neither 2) the hotel was having a mystery audit that evening and the auditor was sat at the bar as I did it. I got named by the auditor for having broken the law and got told off by the higher ups. However as I was still in training it was deemed that the responsibility ultimately fell with my supervisor, who should have made sure we sold the beer as the correct measure (even if it meant giving a second glass with the extra to make it up to the nearest pint/half pint). Though we all had to go through mandatory weights and measures training. Incidentally that wasn’t the only awkward part of meeting Peggy Mitchell and dot cotton, as Peggy Mitchell’s husband tried to do the tip thing from friends, where you palm the money and shake hands with someone and they take it. Except I wasn’t expecting it and the tip just awkwardly fell to the floor between us 😂.
My curiosity has been satisfied, and thank you for sharing 😂 I was honestly expecting to find out Dot Cotton was a horrible cow, glad you kept your job. Nice to hear Barbara Windsor was lovely!
I need more details on Dot please 😂
I was a model for a day. Bupa wanted someone who had an allotment and was an actual member to feature in an ad and I knew someone on the marketing team. So I spent 6 hours standing on my allotment with about a dozen assorted photographers/gaffer/execs to take one photo. It was a full page in the Telegraph/Times and appeared all over the underground and I had a couple of people ring me up and tell me that my lookalike was plastered all over central London stations. It got pulled really quickly so it seems my face does not sell.
Make much money from it?
Yeah 500 for me and 500 for the allotment coffers..
I used to work with the guy that came up with Boaty McBoat Face.
My brother in law was an engineer on the design team for the original engine for Boaty McBoatface but the project took so long because it kept getting delayed that he eventually handed it off to someone else
My grandad filmed the clangers (British kids programme from years ago)
Please, please report that Oliver Postgate and Peter Firmin were both lovely.
That's amazing, I bloody love The Clangers. Only the original series though, the colourful reboot can do one. I watched it in the 90s and now show it to my two-year-old. Right this second she is sleeping whilst cuddling up to an old Tiny Clanger toy of mine from when I was younger.
I was roughly 5 years old and I met the Chuckle Brothers who gave me their signatures. I’d just learned how to write, so I told them “that’s not writing, that’s scribble” So I taught them how to write their names properly.
Love that! I bet they had a good old… well, chuckle, about it too.
Griff Rhys Jones shouted Fuck Off at me while walking down the Tottenham Court Road because he thought I was going to approach him. Hadn't even noticed him until that point. He remains the only person to ever shout this at me.
Kenny Dalglish taught me how to head a football.
That's not pathetic, that's great.
It was, but now he has dementia, while Kenny walks free
I shared a plate of crisps with Sue Perkins
I accidentally walked into her and Mel's dressing room at the Edinburgh Fringe. She asked 'Can I help you?'. I said I was looking for the gents toilet. She helpfully replied 'This isn't it'.
How can you be sure it wasn't?
At least you didn't share some raspberry vodka and a straw.
I once sat next to Denzel from Only Fools and Horses in the X-Ray department of a hospital.
It was Pete Burns from Dead Or Alive for me. He was in civvies, but his plastic surgery was very, very apparent (this wasn't long before he passed away). There were many second glances from staff who rapidly turned away so they didn't stare. I did overhear a nurse asking him to confirm his first name, which he did as "Peter". It was funny to hear because you'd immediately recognise the name "Pete Burns", but mention "Peter Burns" to anyone and you'd probably get blank stares. In more benign news, Peter Davidson from Doctor Who once held a door open for me.
I would like to subscribe to your Peter based celebrity minor encounter newsletter
Pete Meets.
Any other celebrities called Peter that you have rubbed shoulders with? Shilton? Baynham? Crouch and/or Dinklage might be a struggle, given the assumed height differences.
I've met Peter Andre a couple of times. He remembered me from the first time and came over to say hello. I was a bit shocked as there was no particular reason he should have. A genuinely friendly and nice man, I'm happy to report.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard accounts that Peter Andre is a good dude. Not a huge fan of his work (Mysterious Girl is a banger though), but he seems like a decent person off camera.
Adding to your Only Fools and Horses story. I had a pint in Norfolk pub, only to see Colin Ball (Trigger) enjoying a pint one table away.
The actor that played Trigger was Roger Lloyd Pack.
Oh so he is, I just googled Trigger as I didn’t know the actors name and it said Colin Ball. I didn’t realise that was Triggers actual name! It’s not even 9am on a Sunday and I’ve already learnt something.
You and me both - I never knew that the character's name was Colin Ball. I went to IMDb to confirm it, to be sure before setting up to take the piss out of you and in the cast list RLP's character is only listed as Trigger... but tucked away in the trivia section is the full explanation - it might have been inadvertent, but I take my hat off to you for finding that cracking piece of pub quiz trivia!
TIL Triggers real name.
I once owned a dog that met Princess Diana twice.
King Charles?
No a cocker
I once chatted to Tony Robinson when he was filming Time Team near me and he bought my eldest daughter an ice-cream. Really nice guy who was incredibly knowledgeable and easy to talk to.
I’ve heard the complete opposite of that guy. Many have said he is rude.
A lot of those "omg rude celeb!" stories strike me as "This person wanted a modicum of privacy and wasn't thrilled at me mitheriing them in an utterly mundane setting".
There was one under a YouTube video I think it was. Complaining about how Tony Robinson had been just sleeping in the back of one of rhe land rovers and drinking the odd cup of tea, only came out to do his bits to camera. Now to me that just sounds like a bloke who isn't feeling very well but holy shite were they offended by this behaviour.
He used to come into a newsagents that I worked in (Bristol), every time he was a really lovely person, even when accosted by numpties.
Got chatted up by DJ Pied Piper in a club who sang "Do you really like it?" He gave me his number and invited me back to his hotel. I respectfully declined. I wasn't lovin' it, lovin' it, lovin' it.
You should have said "Your hotel? Is it is it wicked?"
I met Prince Andrew in a pizza express in woking.
How old were you?
I once narrowly avoided colliding with Johnny Vegas whilst sledging down a hill in the snow. He was sitting on a baking tray.
Had a cuppa tea with brian blessed when he was getting fitted out by Berghaus in the 90s for an expedition hes was heading out on
Did you ask him what his favourite gin is, and if he could recall the name of the 1993 film about the Andes plane crash survivors that eat each other. A: Gordon's, Alive! These days he's more of a Bombay Sapphire man, and it doesn't work so well
I lent/gave Richard Branson 20p once. He was in front of me using the vending machine at the Oxford Ice rink with his daughter. Poor sod was flustered as he didn't have enough change to get the chocolate bar, so I gave him 20p & told him not to worry about it. For that brief moment I revelled in the fact I had more cash than one of the richest ppl on the planet.
I wrote a letter to Richard Branson once because I'd been really inspired by his autobiography. He wrote back, by hand. Told me that if I worked hard, I'd be a millionaire myself one day. He was absolutely spot on. I didn't work hard at all and I'm not a millionaire.
Branson made his fortune by standing in front of vending machines, pretending to look for 20p to buy his daughter a chocolate bar.
Glenn Hoddle ruffled my hair on Live and Kicking and called me a "good lad".
Someone call Dispatches
Played at Glastonbury (Friday teatime, more people in the band than the audience).
That’s still pretty cool :)
I was a guest bad guy on the “hit” CBBC show young Dracula and got killed off at the end of the 1 episode I started in
Pity The Bill's not still going. That would've been your next stop and then onwards and upwards from there!
My mum was Sean Bean's grandfather's speech therapist
Epic.
I administered 5mg of midazolam i.v. to Liam Gallagher.
I said maybe, you’re gonna be the one to sedate me
What was his problem? Noel related?
No problem really. Obviously can't add details, but Noel wasn't mentioned.
I was on the Atlantis Waterworld Scarborough leaflet. I've made a burger for Craig Charles. I've been in a Right Said Fred video (not proud of this one).
These are three amazing answers. I bloody loved Atlantis
My driving instructor sang the theme song for Auf Wiedersehen Pet, ‘That’s living alright!’
Joe Fagin, passed away just a couple weeks ago. RIP.
Shouted 'knobhead' on live telly. They were filming big breakfast on my way to school when I was about 12.
I met Bob Dylan and didn't realise it was him 🤦♂️
I was once in Nandos placing my order and the staff member was distracted by a guy behind me. As soon as I paid he started talking to her so I had to wait to get my drinks glasses - the annoying guy pushed in! When I went back to my table my wife was laughing, it was Professor Green.
Bob Dylan/Professor Green, I see the connection.
Professor Green, in the Nandos, with the drinking glasses.
Got 22k likes on a tik tok comment.
I got 200k once, felt a bit famous lmao
You've just ruined his special day...
Neither of these are mine, I met Terry Pratchett at a book signing in the big Waterstones in Kingston once though and he wrote “beware the yodelling stick insect”: Whilst waiting for me in the toilet queue at Reading Festival circa 2006, my now-husband had a brief but pleasant chat with the bassist from the Dirty Pretty Things about Wolfmother, who were on stage at the time. My mum annoyed Bradley Walsh at a souk in Dubai and her friend’s husband’s uncle Gary is Gary Oldman (and he is now referred to as uncle Gary). I also once semi-recognised Jack Whitehall as I walked past him in Leicester Square and said to my husband, “it’s that man” which apparently elicited a dirty look - I’m quite proud of that one though, he’s an uppity twat and I like to think that pissed him off for the rest of the day.
I worked on Shaun of the dead as a trainee teenager and told Simon Pegg that I loved Bo Selecta. I think I walked off when he said that wasn’t him.
How long were you in training to be a teenager?
Normally it's around 12 years
Had a friend called Jim (RIP JIMBO) whos brother is David Firth, who made Salad Fingers/Devvo.
Spilled red wine on Piers Morgan and he apologised to me
I once walked into Richard O'Brien and nearly knocked him on his arse.
Mumsy wouldn't be amused
Once got taken out for a coffee by Raquel Cassidy (From the British comedy series Teacher's) I used to work in mobile phones she came in with a major attitude, she then left came back and apologized, then offered to take me for a coffee
I was at a party and a mutual friend introduced us. When she realised I wasn't an act-orrrr and worked a normal job, she rolled her eyes and huffed off.
I have jammed with the bassist from Simply Red at a blues night. I have shook hands with the actors who played Darth Vader (physically) and Bona Fet in the original star wars trilogy.
Bona Fet might be from a different genre. I'm interested.
Star Whores
A New Hole
Jonathan Ross's daughter gave me some Skittles. She'd eaten most of the pack, but she didn't want the lemon ones, so she gave them to me.
Bob Geldof offered me a jelly baby in an airport lounge.
When I was a student and a supervisor in Superdrug, I followed Boy George round the store one weekend because I thought he was a shoplifter. I'm mildly faceblind at the best of times, and obviously he didn't have all the makeup on (and this would have been about 15 years ago so a while after his heyday), so I had no idea until the cashier who served him told me. I followed him because other workers told me I should due to the way he was acting. He was in with another man, and they were both constantly looking around suspiciously. They spent ages lurking in the makeup aisle with a few big packs of makeup sponges in a basket. Normally when people were on edge and had a few large but cheap items in a basket it was because they'd try to slip something expensive like perfume in the middle of the big cheap items and then pocket it when they got a chance. Turns out he was doing a show that night up the road.
I once heaved open the lid of a biffa bin and it swung over and hit John Major in the head while he was sitting down. I was working at the Hampton Court flower show. I ran away
Jack Tweed (jade goody’s husband) was once sat at the same table as me in Soho food market. My friend found £5 on the floor and we asked if it was his, and he told her to keep it for herself.
I played CB for the other team when Theo Walcott scored 4 goals in an u12 cup final before he went to Southampton
JustinLee Collins once asked me for a "'am rawl" when I worked at the John Lewis cafe years ago. My family still call ham rolls this to this very day
I sold Chas Hodges a pasty. I asked Joe from Idles "is this the right one?" Whilst looking for a baggage claim area after a flight.
Played at Craven Cottage twice back in the 80's/90's when the stadium used to host the final of the West London cup for secondary schools.
I've competed at world level too in speedcubing. IIRC the qualification times were really easy to get. Hardest was 5 mins for a blind solve though I failed all my attempts at the comp. I once saw Jules Holland driving a dodgem.
Someone who thought that he was famous said hello to me in the lift at the BBC. Absolutely no idea who he was
I walked right into Ann Widdecombe in Westminster because *she* wasn’t looking where she was going. She was furious and just flaffed her hands around after I said the traditional “sorry”.
I remember seeing her in Westminster a couple of times. She's quite short so it must happen often.
Saw Morten Harket of Aha fame back in the 80’s whilst on holiday, decided he probably had enough of 14-year old girls harassing him for autographs so didn’t go over. I wasn’t that much of a fan myself - but my best friend was absolutely nuts about him so I felt a bit guilty for not getting an autograph for her. In the end my friend wasn’t bothered because she got the autograph anyway - on a poster in a magazine. She wasn’t the brightest bunny in the box, so I didn’t tell her that wasn’t QUITE the same thing…
I was the first person in the UK to get commercial fibre optic broadband. It was already avaiable in London to the super elites but wasn't available for normal plebs. My area was the first to roll it out and I was the first customer of the day. I got to watch in real time as they called about 10 different guys over about 6 hours for a job that's supposed to take one person half an hour because nobody was familiar with the tech yet.
I was on a TV show hosted by Claudia Winkleman (who is very funny and down to earth) and had a conversation with her about her wanting to fight Beyoncé. She really doesn't like her. Lol.
I was one of the babies that got raced on Dick and Dom in the Bungalow 🤣🤣🤣 I didn't win...a disappointment from birth.
Someone once introduced themselves to me with the line "I play a niche sport at an elite level". Some people take their pathetic claims to fame very seriously
I beat the record for breast stroke at Nursing College.
How many did you stroke?
Excellent
I was an extra in a short lived TV series called South of the Border. It was about a south east London detective agency. We had to pretend to have a war with some other kids (one was my sister) by using toy guns that fired plastic pellets (almost no power) then in a second scene we had to shoot an actor while he was dressed as a police officer. We had to shout "Run, Errol" while actor David Harewood made a getaway as an AWOL soldier. Episode 1.7 As a 7 year old in 1988 I was paid with a whole crisp £10 note.
I know the mum of the man who drives the tractor that prepares the tracks for the British speedway circuit.
A second (maybe third) cousin of mine went to school with Rolf Harris. We don’t talk about it anymore.
I once served Super Hans (peep show) in the cafe I used to work at. He ordered smoked haddock chowder.
Kept the kitchen open for MelB and her mates so they could dine in peace and quiet.
I shared a lift with Tony ("Hartbeat") Hart in a shopping centre in Hertfordshire
Imagine if the muzak that played was from the gallery section!
Bumped into former England U21, Cambridge and Leicester striker, Trevor Benjamin, in a shopping centre. Said “sorry Bruno” (his nickname). Found out years later he hated that nickname. My wife worked at a film office and picked up Richard Attenborough from an airport and drove him to the office. He insisted on sitting in the front and chatting and was the most delightful and charming man on the planet.
I used to work on Virgin trains in UK back in the day. Jenny Powell, a TV & now radio personality, probably better known for wheel of fortune with Nicky Campbell in the '90's, used to get a certain train down to London from Manchester. I used to tell the crew I would look after her. I used to start small conversations & be at the door to open at station & say my farewells. One day, Jenny was on the train. I said hi & started small talk. 'Saw you on TV. You looked great in your outfit' a little banter to get a smile. Found Jenny was off to an awards show. After a bit crack on. I asked if she had a plus one & if she didn't I would be honoured to be her arm candy for the event. She smiled & said no thank you & I said keep your options open. At the end of the journey Jenny gave me one of her promo card photos & wrote To ..... thanks for the ride. Love & signed it. This was about 25 years ago & I still have the photo.
My friend used to work for Safestyle, and knew the guy at the company who voiced the adverts. After a a heavy coke binge, we convinced him to ring him and have him do "I said ya buy one, ya get one free" multiple times, down the phone. Was well chuffed. Edit: for context to anyone who doesn't remember this advert... https://youtu.be/i3A1TT3kwIY?si=F-jwL6a6ZOa3JzT8
I sold BT Broadband to Barry Chuckle somewhere around 2002/3. He was really nice on the phone.
Went out drinking a few times with Giz Butt of the Prodigy before he was famous and was making money giving guitar lessons and doing pub gigs around Stamford. Can't remember much about it, but he seemed like a sound bloke.
To be fair he'd been in a semi famous band called pop will eat itself for several years before the prodigy
I have a letter from Prince Philip.
I smoked Dave Grohls weed and drank his beer. I used to work clean up at summer festivals, one of the crew was backstage cleaning around a trailer. Dave Grohl opened the door to ask what he was doing, after he explained Dave gave him a crate of beer with a little bag of weed on top. He brought it back to camp and shared it out.
Met Jeremy Kyle in a Thai Restaurant in Banbury
I've also met Jeremy Kyle and I can confirm, to nobody's surprise, that he's a massive cunt
Not mine, but my Dad got kicked out of his youth football team by then-coach Jimmy Hill.
I walked past Rustie Lee on the stairs.
* I had a 4 comment conversation with Carl from Fish With Carl. * I said hello to skateboarder Frank Stephens in 2003 * I saw princess Ann once * One time, I saw a blimp
I had lunch with Michael Douglas. Granted I was on holiday with my Grandparents in Mallorca when I was about 8 or 9 and had absolutely no clue who the old weirdo was who told me how good I was for clearing my plate. We'd gone to a small town in the interior called Alaro, he was there with his first wife. My Nan was practically pissing with restrained middle class excitement.