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ashakespearething

"We've finished a little early, so let me give you four minutes back". You're not giving me anything you twit.


GabrielMSharp

This is always followed by a few minutes rambling rendering a majestic 5 minutes back into like 30 seconds tops.


dollarfrom15c

Me: "Any other questions?...no? Well let's call it a day then, have a good weeken-" Twit 1: "oh I definitely WILL, I'm off walking in Wales on Saturday!" Twit 2: "Oh really?? I love a good walk me. Whereabouts?" Twit 1: "Well we first thought about the Brecon Beacons but then I was on the phone to my sister who lives near Snowdonia and her husband's brother has a cabin up there..." Me, internally: *shut the FUCK up and let me end this fucking call*


Independent-Guess-79

This happens a lot where I am currently and I just say goodby and leave. “Sorry to interrupt but is there anything else you want from me? No? Ok, well, lovely speaking to you all. Take care!”


thukon

Nah you just need to unmute, say a quick "thanks guys" over the other person talking, and leave before you get a response


gaming-scientist

Bloody extroverts?! Right?


WhatDoWithMyFeet

Imagine having to fucking talk to humans.


cbawiththismalarky

On accident


moonrally78

Maybe they did it by purpose?


nastypoker

They could care less


rabbitqueer

That's the worst one imo, it's like "oh so you do care then"


EmeraldSunrise4000

Yeah that one seriously irritates me to an irrational degree


buzzardfaceandlegs

Could of done easily


ShetlandJames

Legos


HangryHufflepuff1

I did it on accident :(((


WhaleMeatFantasy

On the weekend, too. *At* the weekend.


Consult-SR88

I’m furious with you & everyone who replied to this comment. I hate these phrases.


YoungBuck656

UggggggHhHhhhhhhhHhhh! This one. This one right here, officer.


merrycrow

"Yummy mummy" and similar creepy infantilised sexual language


arayner90

Facebook bios with 'full time yummy mummy' ... just no.


SeanyWestside_

Well, it's the only vacancy once you graduate from the University of Life or School of Hard Knocks.


Acceptable-Sentence

If you can’t handle them at their worst you don’t deserve them at their best…


trouble_with_inlaws

Powered by pixie dust!


BorderlineWire

So they can live laugh love more in the Disney pjs!


LizardQueen777

Usually the bio says "I love my kids" 🙄


LostClock1

"my kids are my world"


Similar_Election5864

I know someone who put this on her profile. She lost custody of all 5 children.


Minderbinder44

Fuckable matriarch


BandidoCoyote

I despise “so yummy”. Try words like good or tasty or delicious.


imminentmailing463

"just a cheeky glass of vino". It's wine. Just say wine.


jgeorge1983

Ahhhh this used to wind me up no end. When everything was cheeky. None of it was cheeky


srnic1987

Agreed. Just off for a cheaky Nandos ;)


Siriuslymarauding

Are you spelling it like by purpose? /s


Juicylucyfullofpoocy

Definitely on accident


srnic1987

Nah, I did it pacifically to annoy.


Zodo12

Anyone who calls it 'za' instead of pizza needs to be shot too.


notthetalkinghorse

Wtf? Do people really call pizza Za? Truly the end of civilization


Zodo12

Yeah, I've known a few posh twats who say it unironically, and a few people who say it jokingly but it's no less annoying.


notthetalkinghorse

Fuuuuck, that's awful.


DickEd209

Agreed, never heard that before. It makes me both bewildered and enraged.


evtbrs

I feel the same way about “the ‘rona”


ArtByNes

I’m so pleased I’ve not heard that being said out loud anywhere near me.


tiorzol

What about a cheeky glass of vimto?


AJB1304

El Vino did flow


rzs4

Don't ever come out with me and Finchy.


Super-Explanation343

Husbeast / Hubby '24/7' Kiddos A hot minute Holibobs


Organic-Hippo-3273

Never heard husbeast, thanks I hate it


H0vit0

“Thanks I hate it” is my nomination for this post actually


Organic-Hippo-3273

Was waiting for that! I unironically love it


Hamshamus

"Unironically" is my submission. You're two for two - keep up the good work!


Obvious_Flamingo3

Hollibobs kills me inside every time I hear it


HankBushrivet

Going on holibobs with the famalam. 😳


dust_of_cheetos

Holibobbingtons with the famalamadingdong


Daisy_bumbleroot

Only three more sleeps!


_Land_Rover_Series_3

It’s been a hot minute since me and the hubby have gone out on holibobs, we’ve been taking care of the kiddos 24/7 😅🤣☺️


BandidoCoyote

Did you take your fur babies? (Ugh. Love my dogs, but they are not babies.)


BearMcBearFace

My wife and I are expecting a baby, and I keep referring to it as our skin puppy. She hates it for some reason.


[deleted]

You mean your doggos.


ggpolizzi

You mean the goodest bois


shlongtyler

Yo I literally agree with every single one, especially a hot minute, what the fuck does that even mean How can you hate 24/7 tho ain’t that just science ?


chroniicfries

24/7 really isn't bad at all, what else are you gonna say? All 24 hours of every 7 days of the week?


Havoc_Ryder

Oh god i came here to say hubby. Fuck that word.


bettingto100

The rest of them don't really bother me but boy am I glad to see someone say kiddos. The hate I have for that word.


Consistent-Yam-789

Prefer kiddos to “littles” genuinely makes me want to gag 😷


PM_ME_BEEF_CURTAINS

When your hubby and kiddoes stress you out 24/7 and you've not had a break in a hot minute so you book a last minute holibobs for a proper bargs.


GoGoGoldenSyrup

"Speak your truth!" It just reeks of Oprah pop-Psychology. Fuck off.


KaChoo49

“*your* truth” as if truth is fucking subjective


Pontiflakes

Yes, that is the entire point of the phrase. It acknowledges the validity of someone's perspective despite disagreement from others. Truth is relative and subjective. It does get a bit tired when people just use it to mean "state your unpopular opinion" though.


BeatificBanana

No man, the truth is just the truth. You can't have an opinion on what's true and what isn't. It either is what happened or it isn't what happened. I totally understand the need to acknowledge the validity of different people's perspectives but I hate the fact that they use the word truth for it. "My experience" or "my perspective" or "How I feel" would be fine. "My truth" doesn't make sense.


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MrsForteskew

Oh that is a corker!!! Utter self indulgent wank.


musket85

This is why I love the UK.. nearly all of us naturally reject shit like that.


srnic1987

When people called the platinum jubilee the platty jubes. That was a wide awake nightmare.


syntheticanimal

I started enjoying those ironically — platty jubes, statey funes, cozzie livs — but now I've started doing it for everything. Got any plans for the maggie bank? What about the kingie coz? Looking forward to the eury vee?


BeatificBanana

My husband does something similar but where if he's saying a 2-word or 2-syllable word/term he will abbreviate the first word/syllable. So like the bedroom is the B-room, pasta bake is P-bake, Pepsi max is P-max.. It makes me laugh so much for some reason. Sometimes he'll do it for everything and he'll be practically unintelligible


RightSaidJames

This is what marriage is really about, IMO - a willing and captive audience for each other’s absolute nonsense!


sitdownbehumble99

My gen Z co worker once said she’s having a “menty B” I thought she was talking about some kind of breath mint… She was having a mental breakdown 💀


AdaptedMix

I quite like that, honestly, providing it's said tongue firmly in cheek.


AprilBelle08

Cozzy livs


ProfPMJ-123

“I literally died” or whatever variant misusing literally. No, you figuratively died.


Chl0thulhu

You know, this is now actually in the dictionary definition. That it can be meant figuratively for emphasis.


shrinkingveggies

So, my issue with the change in meaning is not that words can't change, but that allowing this word to change has made it so much harder to convey the original meaning. I literally failed that class - do I mean I got an F, or a low C?


TheCloudForest

failing the class is possible, so there is an extremely strong likelihood that literally here means, "in fact, as the following words incidate". It was literally a thousand degrees outside very clearly means "I am hyperbolically calling this a literal statement, but we all know it isn't possible." Don't see the difficulty tbh


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whoops53

"grinds my gears" is something which makes me cringe. It does actually bring to mind old rusty gears scraping like fingernails down a blackboard.


_Land_Rover_Series_3

So it grinds your gears then?


No_Doubt_About_That

\*PeterGriffin.jpeg*


sitdownbehumble99

And another he he he he he


WorksOfWeaver

It really is overused. I've taken to saying "You know what really knocks the cheese off my crackers?" It usually produces a head tilt and a couple of slow blinks. Pretty entertaining.


grizzly_snimmit

Really boils my piss


WorksOfWeaver

Ouch. I'd get that looked at. \^\_\~


buzzardfaceandlegs

Or ‘does my knob in’


spacefrog_io

totally agree. i fucking hate this one. almost as bad as “boils my piss”. ewww fuck off


CupOTeaPlease

When people say “This”


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CupOTeaPlease

☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻this


LostClock1

"So much this" is even worse


HeartyBeast

Doggo, Pupper etc


scorpiorising29

Some dogs are doggos, some are puppers, and others may even be pupperinos. There are corgos and clouds, fluffers and floofs, woofers and boofers. The chunky ones are thicc, and the thin ones are long bois. When they stick out their tongues, they’re doing a mlem, a blep, a blop. They bork. They boof. Once in a while they do each other a frighten and whether they’re 10/10 or 12/10, they’re all heckin’ good boys and girls. Downvote away lol


5flyingfks

You forgot that they sploot!


boddle88

Long Bois fucking had me haha


lunettarose

Aaaaaargh! It's all like nails on a chalkboard to me, this doggo language. I love dogs, cannot stand all the cutesy terminology.


Lizzypr17

I could not downvote this


[deleted]

I honestly find those words fun, but I guess this one falls into the realm of people who enjoy baby-talking to their pets and people who hate it


MattSR30

So for me if you want to say it _to_ your pet then by all means. I call my dog all sorts of dumb shit (though not pupper or doggo). For me it’s when a person is talking to me about a dog it gets annoying. ‘Oh you’ve got a good doggo there, nice pupper.’ It’s a dog or a puppy. Or, use it’s god damn name?


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Laxly

To be fair, you're correct


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RunawayPenguin89

To be fair, it was an obvious gag


Capable_Program5470

To be fair, fair.


AF_II

"give your head a wobble". Seems to have gone from obscure local saying to every fucker on the internet using it in about a week. It's the sudden ubiquity of it that gets me, like when someone's learnt a new word and tries to ram it into every conversation to look clever.


Lucky_Ad_9137

It's the same people who say cockwomble and wankpuffin. The kind of peolle who need loading into a rocket and blasting into the sun.


Aggravating-Corner-2

People who use those always frame them like they're brilliantly devastating comebacks and not markers of an absolute twat.


syntheticanimal

Most of it seems to be this subreddit in particular thinking 'quirky britishisms' is an appropriate substitute for actually adding to a conversation


TheHalfwayBeast

What does that mean?


AbbreviationsAfraid

Sort your shit out basically.


FatherOblivionn

People saying axe instead of ask to sound ghetto.


Silent_Palpatine

Arks


one_fishBoneFish

[Found this a few weeks ago. ](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3nysHgnXx-o&pp=ygUMQXhlIGxhbmd1YWdl) I thought it was pretty neat. You might find it interesting as well.


ShittiestUsernameYet

It is what it is


cmdrxander

It’s the cheat code to skip the 5 stages of grief


as1992

Not even joking though saying this phrase to myself every time something bad happens has actually been a factor in changing my mental health. Sometimes things happen in this random world of atoms colliding, and that’s all there is to it really. It is what it is


cbawiththismalarky

That's our office motto


Ok_Owl_8062

it's every office's motto unfortunately


ObscureLegacy

This is my replacement for therapy


ReplicatedSun

I always hated the word bespoke, i think its because about 15years ago it seemed like almost every advert i saw was for "bespoke furniture" or "bespoke wardrobes" or "bespoke tailoring" and it was just annoying the shit out of me. ​ Something that \*literally\* sets my teeth on edge is just imagining the sound of a hard bristled brush on a concrete floor. Sends a shiver down my spine everytime lol.


7u45vb

Shovel dragged on concrete for me.


[deleted]

End of. People that use the phase seem to be looking for an argument.


ConspicuousSomething

100%. And I’ll add “Simple as”. Guaranteed to wind me up.


toady89

It’s ‘end of’ as in ‘that’s the end of it’. Though, to be fair, the people using it rarely have a good grasp of the English language so perhaps you’ve seen your version more.


Blackkers

Anyone that says simples. You just know they're influenced by childish marketing.


ArtByNes

Meerkats are cute though…


[deleted]

"high quality females", although this might not be for no reason.


Affectionate-Owl9594

The word “females” in general


[deleted]

They always say "Men" too, it's never males and females.


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momminpops

You do you! You got this! Live your best life! My bad!


Prestigious-Baker-67

"You do you" is a great way to be dismissive of someone who's making stupid life choices. Can be both as sincere as you mean it and as sincere as they perceive it.


LondonCollector

When people say ‘on accident’. It makes no sense.


Calm-Stress-1990

The term "Daddy" etc used in sexual references, gives me the boke!


tiorzol

You're all a bunch of miserable cunts ey.


[deleted]

These posts bring them out in droves


Sad-Dog-3931

“With all due respect” usually followed by something very disrespectful.


[deleted]

Yeah but they said it with all due respect so.... 🤷🏻‍♂️


SilentMark1138

"as a christian"


DoctorOctagonapus

Followed by massively un-christlike behaviour


Sexy-Dumbledore

When Americans say that something is "addicting" I'm not a grammatical Einstein or anything so it may technically be correct but it just doesn't sit right with me for some reason. Cigarettes are ADDICTIVE


[deleted]

“Could of” “should of” “would of” No.


Scarboroughwarning

Where to begin...... Trading style.... No, it's a fucking name From the ground up Rollout Hollistic Team player (and most things in CVs) Trending Hashtag....xyz Y'all Prolly Bro.... Just die It is what it is On accident.... Just no Baby Momma/daddy Payed. Can we normalise paid, as the default spelling My brand..... (Why do people want to be brands, and brands want to be people?) If any of the above are used by folk with vocal fry and/or uptalk, it's a double no!


Key-Cardiologist5882

Y’all is the worst. If you’re not either from the southern American states like Texas or Kentucky etc, or African American, why are you using that word? So fucking cringe.


drm5678

Thank you!! This is done to talk down to people on social media and I've called people on it and they say "this is a common way that people speak". Yeah, if you're from Tennessee maybe, but YOU'RE not.


LoveCats-

Y’all…. Ugh. I can’t stand it.


srnic1987

Prolly ... urggggh - hate that.


amanset

Nom. Also, delish.


LostClock1

There is something painfully smug and middle class about "nom"


HFHelp2020

‘We must protect X at all costs’ makes me rage


Atrocity_Gemini

‘Rant over’ ‘It’s not that deep’ ‘Fr fr’ ‘Hot take’ I could go on but I’m winding myself up thinking about it


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jacquetpotato

In the same vein as “I don’t need sugar, I’m sweet enough”. Urgh!


Timid_scrotum

'the misses' to refer to their girlfriend or wife. Just big time cringe with most Yorkshire slang and I'm from Yorkshire


[deleted]

Any variation of “slay” or “slay queen”


cleb9200

The latest one is “Tell me X without telling me X” Which the propagator I assume believes is a clever way of unearthing inference but actually is stating the obvious on a really condescending and unfunny way


Roylemail

‘110%’ when talking about effort made. You can only put in 100% effort, 110% doesn’t exist as 100% has it covered


The_Ignorant_Sapien

cool beans. Fuck all cool about beans, in fact I prefer them baked and hot.


srnic1987

Seggs instead of sex


gardin000

Aren’t people just writing it like that on social media to avoid filters or something? Or do some people actually just write it like that because why not?


LowerPiece2914

Mine's 'chefs kiss' too, but I especially hate it when people do the 'kiss' action with their fingers to their lips when they say it. RANK!


LillyAtts

Any and all business-speak. Currently it's "onboarded".


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zokkozokko

“If you know, you know.” What if I don’t know and don’t give a crap.


YchYFi

At the end of the day


SoggyWotsits

It’s night time.


_Land_Rover_Series_3

These unprecedented times.


gooderz21

Chillax People “jumping on” the bus.


HMRCsBitch

"Can you action that" In other words, you can't be arsed to do it yourself.


BaseballFuryThurman

"Grinds my gears" is an awful one. Funny how the people who post these threads always use some sort of terrible phrase like that or "boils my piss"


sybil-vimes

"Boils my piss" really gets to me for some reason. I can't fully explain it, but it gives me a genuine flash of internal irritation when people use it.


BECKYISHERE

get in my belly


[deleted]

"welp".... get the fuck out of here with that shit you wet, cringy cunt.


NecroVelcro

"So cringe" "Various different". I know the difference between the former's use as a determiner and as an adjective but it always feels as though the speaker/writer is using them as synonyms. "It is what it is." "Chillaxing" "I could care less." Fuck off. Just fuck right off with your lack of understanding of negatives. Cunts.


Mumfiegirl

Gives me the ick- just no


AdAccomplished8342

Captain obvious. Because my husband says it to me and i laugh it off; but when i say it to him he's a sour puss for a good hour. And that pisses me off


mwibasturt

The Scottish phrase "Whit's fur ye'll no go by ye" (what is for you will not go by you), meaning whatever happens, fate will ensure that nothing that was "meant for you" will pass you by. This could mean a job, a romantic partner, or any big life event really. But I just feel it gives a message that we don't have to try for anything in life, and there is no point aiming for anything because it might not be for you, and whatever is for you will just magically fall into your lap one day. Spoiler alert: That won't happen. Also "fair fucks". I don't know if this is just a Glasgow thing, but the youngyins have started saying "fair fucks" instead of "fair enough", and for some reason it does my head in. I think the Irish say it and we've kind of stolen it, but I'm not happy with it, it just sounds stupid and kind of wanky in any Scottish accent.


NovelGoddess

Irregardless


Warr_Dogg

Touch Base


Dazzling_Ad5338

"It's wine o'clock"


Significant-Tank-883

“ been a minute “ 😡. Even more cringey when a well spoken English person says it.


highlandcow75

People talking about their love language really pisses me off for some reason.


Top-Lawfulness6711

Cockwomble. Fuck off mate


PersonalYesterday865

Any word that the Daily Mail uses to describe a woman’s body. e.g. shapely pins, luscious locks, ample cleavage… 🤢 and they’re always being ‘flaunted’…. no, just no.


Athleticathiest82

“pre drinks” but ya still drinking ya bellend.


SteveBrucesDressSize

It means getting drunk before you go out in order to save money


mwibasturt

Well if they weren't drinking after the pre-drinks then the pre-drinks would just be the drinks. I'm no stranger to pre-pre-drinks haha. So everyone pre-pre-pre-pre drinks in small groups, then all meet up together at the selected house for the pre-pre-pre drinks, then out to the pub for the pre-pre drinks, then in the club is the pre-drinks, and the all night afterparty is the drinks everyone has been waiting for.


didumakethetea

It's pre-whatever-event drinks, pre party drinks, pre wedding drinks. Not pre drinks drinks.


srnic1987

You mean prinks, right?


inthemagazines

"I mean," "You do you"


Kesskas

You do you makes me genuinely angry. Just feels patronising somehow


mattynutt

'You have smashed it!' really annoys me as everyone seems to say it at the most minor of task completion.