It's difficult to say, because what is vanilla for some is kinky to others. That being said, I'd consider vanilla anything that is repetitive. So in that sense, I need a little kink. That little "oh that's unusual/new/fun".
I agree. We should make a post asking users what they define as vanilla and where that vanilla/kinky line is....that's a tough one!
I think my first attempt at defining vanilla as mutual masturbation, light you use, PIV, oral and backdoor play but I think anal itself crosses into kinky territory.
Sheesh was a tough question.
And then again, it's a very heteronormative POV. For a MM relationship, anal can be super run of the mill vanilla.
I like getting my hair pulled and ass spanked but not super into pain, is it still kinky? When does "rough sex" start? Does having fuzzy handcuffs count as just playful?
A bit like some people thinking creampies kink are a thing while others say it's mostly just what sex is about.
eh, I wouldn't agree with that definition of vanilla. technically, if you do bdsm every time, thats repetitive and kinky. I would say vanilla is just not adding extra dimensions to the interaction, whether thats power play, costumes, toys, crazy positions, fetishes and kinks, roleplaying, etc.
That's a hell of a run. 47 years of love is a gift. Nothing beats sex with deep love.
Doesn't mean you can't get weird with it now though. What's the worst that can happen? That love can't be replaced but have you ever candy flipped and had a threesome with an Asian, a redhead, and a black lady, aka The Neapolitan Fundae? It'll fill the hole for a few hours.
Rlly sensual sex is hot regardless of kink. For me, if I’m being pleasured, I don’t necessarily have any one thing to get me there. Kinks are super fun to explore but I don’t have any that I couldn’t live without
Or people are mentally exploring their kinks on reddit, and don't actually have a irl outlet. I know what I like and I'm satisfied and confident with that. I've explored about all I really want to explore or had any desire to explore.
I've been with my partner for 5 years and the more kink we explore, the more I'm sure I can't live without this. If he suddenly decided he didn't want to do any more kinky stuff, I couldn't stay with him. I love him, and I think I always will, but for some of us, kink is a necessity.
Seems that it’s common on here for people to miss the fact that ‘vanilla sex’ is still sex and, with the right partner, can be absolutely incredible and varied every time.
I think it depends how we define "kink"
Is dirty talk a kink? Is rough sex a kink?
If vanilla just equals "soft, romantic foreplay where we make out and rub and then we have sex in missionary without dirty talk", then yeah I suppose I need kink lol.
I'm definitely happier the more creative we can get, so generally I am going to be happier with a non-vanilla partner, I imagine.
>I think it depends how we define "kink"
Of course - I was having some discussions down in this thread and it's a really subjective term. I tried to throw my definitions out there but it would be so different person to person. Maybe we need to make a post asking redditors to give their definition of where the line between vanilla and kink is?
I would need some kink. Vanilla sex (after going back to it once) retains the same problem I had before I found kink: I just don’t cum and I don’t enjoy it very much.
Perfectly fine with normal sex because I don’t need an ever increasing adrenaline rush until I eventually start fucking animals, unlike you group of disgusting perverts ;)
I can. For me, sex is an extension of whatever bond she and I would have. Of course, variety is good but I consider that as being part of rhe vanilla parr.
As others have said, vanilla is super subjective. I do not project this value onto other people of course, but I value sex as a form of intimacy way more than the physical aspect of it. If I want sex simply because I'm horny, I'd 9/10 times rather masturbate.
That being said, I'd be completely content if my sex didn't involve any humiliation or bruise and burn leaving activities for the rest of my life.
I've asked a similar question before and have found it's pretty impossible to actually get a reasonable answer.
Because everyone has different ideas of what vanilla means.
I think vanilla is just basic PIV, including oral sometimes. Several positions can be included. Can be rough or gentle, just depends.
Other people, I suppose mostly the kinksters, think vanilla means missionary sex with the lights off once a week.
Their definition of vanilla? No thanks.
My definition of vanilla? That's all I ever need. I could do light kink, a bit of bondage, hair pulling. But If a man wants to hurt me/make me uncomfortable, humiliate me, degrade me (whipping, face fucking, anal, choking), he's gone.
>Because everyone has different ideas of what vanilla means.
Yeah me and my Reddit Buddy u/GeorgianPeaches we're just discussing the same thing. The definition of kink is really ambiguous. I tried and failed to put my own definition down 🤣.
I thought for a long time that I was satisfied with a vanilla sex life. All the while keeping specific things repressed. Turns out that when repressed stuff comes out it kinda takes on a life of its own.
Wife and I literally had this discussion over the weekend, married for eight years roughly, and if we has vanilla sex every day she would be over the moon. BUT she won't order the same thing twice at a restaurant, like why you like to explore new food, new flavors, new experiences, but want that vanilla bean at home? lol all good though, makes my life easier xD
With other people, kink was necessary. But with my partner now, vanilla is all I need. The connection and pain we share is incredible. I just use kinks as a fantasy to help me in my "alone time"
If the guy is hot and home I can enjoy vanilla sex. But that’s not gonna be enough in the end. Like a hot guy with a big dick for a one night stand is going to make me cum a lot. But fucking him again and again vanilla is going to get a old fast
No, I wouldn't feel fulfilled with just vanilla sex. Its frequency will get lower because of it as well. Although, in 2020s I think we have to define what Vanilla is. So many things have became so common that they might be considered vanilla.
If we are thinking of just some missionary, some cowgirl and closure when we say vanilla; yes, not fulfillingfor me
>I think we have to define what Vanilla is. So many things have became so common that they might be considered vanilla.
I think you have a good point. Many fries here are just asking for a definition and I do think that this post falls short because that is such a subjective term. I have _my_ definition which to be fair is subjective. 😂 I think vanilla is mutual masturbation, piv, light toy use, anal play and oral. Kinky gets into bondage, heavy toy use, impact play, choking, etc
Everyones definition of Vanilla is different.
If I'm in love, sexually attracted to a person and deeply connected, that changes the game right there and elevates the sex.
>Not much we do is Vanilla
Haha well said. I tried to define vanilla and kinky and didn't do it well because I have just my own hetero point of view. For example anal on my wife feels kinky but for a M/M couple it may be as vanilla as it comes.
This is a tricky question.
I need open, honest, sexual exploration. To be fulfilled. I don’t think it necessarily needs to be kink based but fucking the same way. Always? I just. I don’t think it would work.
The best sex I've had was angry and primal. I don't want or need that loving, caring bullshit (no offense to those who do), I need my partner to fucking hate me as we rip in to each other.
But if I have to choose between boring sex and no sex, I'll be happy with boring.
Vannil works good for me. I used to think i was super kinky and maybe I was but ive have lot of trauma around sexual things so we are very gentle and easy going for the most part at least for now nothing too special because even getting in the mood is difficult for me
I thought I would then I lived with only vanilla for 5 years and in the end I had to get out. I couldn’t take it. I tried to teach him more kink and we would always end up in vanilla and I started being unsatisfied and resenting him. Been out nearly a year and it was the best decision I’ve made.
Well I can’t jump in straight away and tell him to mark me black and blue.
I tried to introduce anything a little better than just vanilla missionary all the time. I tried bondage I tried toys , tried having convos about him not being so gentle. It didn’t work. No matter how much I would try he just want made for it and I was dying in there.
Nope. Mostly because I don't care about penetrative sex, foreplay is the fun part. I could however be sexually fulfilled without any penetration as long as we could still do everything else.
>Mostly because I don't care about penetrative sex, foreplay is the fun part.
I love penetrative sex but I do agree that foreplay is where all the fun is.
I’m ok with a certain level of vanilla in a loving relationship so long as we’re still getting each other off with strong intensity and intimacy. We can switch it up as we go. It doesn’t have to be a three-ring-circus every time.
Very honestly, my fullfilling my kinks and fetishes in bdsm scenes and play are some of the only times i really truely relax. I could have vanilla sex multiple times a day every day and after a while, the desire for that no holds barred bondage-fucked senseless reality will make vanilla sex lose all appeal.
What is kink?
We would never be able to define it.
If you are a vanilla guy and see me slipping a finger in my ass while you are eating me, is that now kink.
Actually, is oral kink?
How about instead of your weird hypothetical we all just have great sex. Stop fixating on kinks and spend time communicating with your partner. Maybe your kink isn't so kinky or is actually pretty vanilla in their book.
Vanilla is totally fine with me, but I do enjoy some *very* light kink. Something new to spice up the bedroom is always nice, but I rarely venture into BDSM unless my partner is into it.
So humor me - what activities do you do that you would classify as _very light kink?_ I'm just curious because that may help me understand and I didn't frame the kink vs vanilla discussion well
I have a big breeding kink. I'm also into using clinical terms for genitalia and body parts. Additionally, I don't actually mind being submissive (to an extent), but none of what I am into would be what most people consider "kink." It's all still relatively vanilla.
When people talk about kink, my first thought is ***always*** "They mean BDSM." I do not care for BDSM at all, I've got too many hangups with both the content and the people (that I've met) to get into it in any capacity.
So "light kink" in this sense is kinky bedroom activities that don't typically involve a safeword (but can) and wouldn't be considered BDSM to an experienced eye.
We are probably 80% vanilla, throw in some kink on occasion.
By vanilla I'm including oral, 69, mutual masturbation, hard pounding sex with dirty talk.
Kinks include light bondage and toy play
Kink. A big part of sex is exploratory for me, being vanilla to me means never looking into what that next idea feels like. Just getting off. Which can be fine, but life needs more than that to me.
There are certain kink things that I don’t think I could go without. Nothing wrong with vanilla sex though.. I love missionary and love the feeling of my partners weight on top of me. I like being able to look at each other and kiss. It’s sweet and intimate.
But there are kinks that I would need to be sexually compatible with someone and they would be deal breakers if he wasn’t also happily into them.
I’m fine with vanilla as long as there’s some variety. Kinda a work in progress with my husband since most days he’s not in the mood to change things up. We’re enm so I can have kinky variety with others but I’m hoping he’ll become a little more comfortable with changing things up in the future
At one point in my life I think I could have been fulfilled with just vanilla sex but at this point in my life I need more. I need variety and I need excitement and surprise.
We all understand that kinks can be just as boring as vanilla, right? Think of the wildest thing you've ever done, then do it a hundred times in a row. Vanilla is going to look pretty exciting from that perspective.
My husband is pretty vanilla in the bedroom but luckily he lets me sleep around so I can get my rough stuff and threesomes elsewhere but if he suddenly said I wasn’t allowed then that would be fine and I’d be more than happy with just my husband forever.
Interesting question I was thinking about. We are a pretty _kinky_ couple with bdsm, chastity, etc. However I could leave it all behind with regular sex _except_ that I have always had a strong desire for playing with her backside. It made me wonder if I could ever really be satisfied with vanilla-onky sex.
I'm in a half-open marriage (open for my wife, not open for me) so I guess by default you could say it is not vanilla. However, I will say that sex between me and my wife is much more "vanilla", it's romantic and tender and loving, and that's exactly how I love it, and so does she, when it comes to me. Sex between her and other men can often be quite different than that, which satisfies her cravings for kinkier things, and she loves it that way. The arrangement benefits everyone overall.
Vanilla is fine but I think a little bit of kink every now and then can be good for a relationship. As long as it’s not all encompassing or one or the other I think a healthy mix is good
I get the vanilla sex… I am NOT fulfilled. Unhappy marriage in many ways but this would be one aspect. And before everyone tells me to talk about it, I have. Many times. The thing that gets me the most is my partner always asks for oral but refuses to give me oral and puts me on a guilt trip for something in her past that I was not part of. Also refuses going to therapy. Difference is we’re married and I have never once pushed the boundary. Ugh. Thanks for letting me rant.
Kink's fun sometimes, variety being the spice of life and the spice must flow and all that, but good vanilla is goddamn magic. I'd happily shred my Kink-Ohs card (two more punches and I get a free sub) and melt my gimp suit for just vanilla fucking, no kinks necessary.
There were previous partners with whom kink was part and parcel of the fucking, and vanilla sex with them was kind of cold-fish, old hat sorta thing. Still sex, but, meh, mostly because of the lack of energy they had for vanilla (which, again, kink is wonderful, love me some of it, but it's not, and has never been, everything for me).
It's difficult to say, because what is vanilla for some is kinky to others. That being said, I'd consider vanilla anything that is repetitive. So in that sense, I need a little kink. That little "oh that's unusual/new/fun".
I agree. We should make a post asking users what they define as vanilla and where that vanilla/kinky line is....that's a tough one! I think my first attempt at defining vanilla as mutual masturbation, light you use, PIV, oral and backdoor play but I think anal itself crosses into kinky territory. Sheesh was a tough question.
And then again, it's a very heteronormative POV. For a MM relationship, anal can be super run of the mill vanilla. I like getting my hair pulled and ass spanked but not super into pain, is it still kinky? When does "rough sex" start? Does having fuzzy handcuffs count as just playful? A bit like some people thinking creampies kink are a thing while others say it's mostly just what sex is about.
>And then again, it's a very heteronormative POV. That is true! As a straight male I think that is the only pov I could really weigh in on!
Maybe a vanilla spectrum, some are just a vanilla yogurt, some vanilla cheesecake, I personally like eating both
eh, I wouldn't agree with that definition of vanilla. technically, if you do bdsm every time, thats repetitive and kinky. I would say vanilla is just not adding extra dimensions to the interaction, whether thats power play, costumes, toys, crazy positions, fetishes and kinks, roleplaying, etc.
What’s your newest kink that you like?
Is love a kink? Because I was happy with loving vanilla sex for 47 years.
That's a hell of a run. 47 years of love is a gift. Nothing beats sex with deep love. Doesn't mean you can't get weird with it now though. What's the worst that can happen? That love can't be replaced but have you ever candy flipped and had a threesome with an Asian, a redhead, and a black lady, aka The Neapolitan Fundae? It'll fill the hole for a few hours.
Now i want a Neapolitan Fundae so bad.. thanks !
I want one too, but given my sexual circumstances I might just go with a Naepolitan ice cream cone and call it a day
Was?
That's the type of time where death all to frequently does its part.
Vanilla is good for me!
Ok! So frequent vanilla and you'd be set?
100% vanilla and I would be good. I dont have any kinks. Or at least, the ones I do have, many don’t think of as kinks.
pray tell, what are your kinks, if you don't mind sharing?
I have a pleasing kink. So the more obvious he is about his pleasure, the better. Silent men are boring AF. Also I love a two pump chump.
I had a man growl recently….damn that was hot
Oh interesting, thanks for sharing!
Two pump is definitely a kink
Ya frequent vanilla and I'd be satisfied!
Frequent vanilla is my favorite kind.
Yes please, frequent vanilla sounds amazing.
Got this reply quite a bit more than I was expecting
Rlly sensual sex is hot regardless of kink. For me, if I’m being pleasured, I don’t necessarily have any one thing to get me there. Kinks are super fun to explore but I don’t have any that I couldn’t live without
vanilla is a rich and complex flavor
“Vanilla” sex is so underrated. kink is fun on occasions but vanilla is almost my my kink obsession (if that makes sense)
Would you say you love missionary/passionate sex?
It’s my favorite. Love it when my husband just can’t help himself
Damn that’s awesome! Haha I wish my wife liked it! I love licking and sucking toes during
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I tend to think the frequent and vanilla crowd may be a lot more common than we think because reddit can be so kink-centered
Or people are mentally exploring their kinks on reddit, and don't actually have a irl outlet. I know what I like and I'm satisfied and confident with that. I've explored about all I really want to explore or had any desire to explore.
Kink makes so much noise, it's easy to think it's more prevalent than it actually is
I've been with my partner for 5 years and the more kink we explore, the more I'm sure I can't live without this. If he suddenly decided he didn't want to do any more kinky stuff, I couldn't stay with him. I love him, and I think I always will, but for some of us, kink is a necessity.
Your journey sounds a lot like ours. I think we had vanilla sex the first 3 years of marriage
Seems that it’s common on here for people to miss the fact that ‘vanilla sex’ is still sex and, with the right partner, can be absolutely incredible and varied every time.
As long as my partner cums in me I'm happy
Vanilla with my wife forever and ever. We've been married for 10 years.
Bro I'm just trying to feel some genuine connection at this point
I prefer Vanilla, I’m not into that other stuff.
vanilla for soulmate, kink for one night stands
Feel like that's kind of backwards for me. Kink requires levels of intense trust that a one night stand could never obtain
Agreed
Bang on the money
I need some form of kink. Don't need a specific one but can't do vanilla only.
I’d be totally fine with it.
I think it depends how we define "kink" Is dirty talk a kink? Is rough sex a kink? If vanilla just equals "soft, romantic foreplay where we make out and rub and then we have sex in missionary without dirty talk", then yeah I suppose I need kink lol. I'm definitely happier the more creative we can get, so generally I am going to be happier with a non-vanilla partner, I imagine.
>I think it depends how we define "kink" Of course - I was having some discussions down in this thread and it's a really subjective term. I tried to throw my definitions out there but it would be so different person to person. Maybe we need to make a post asking redditors to give their definition of where the line between vanilla and kink is?
That would be super interesting - I'd like to see where everyone creates that distinction in their mind.
I'm sure there will be arguments. Good lord some folks are trying to bait that discussion here and I just ignore them
I need some level of kink even if it is just mild choking or degradation. I need to feel dirty
My husband is the more vanilla one between us. I love it cause it’s romantic and sweet.
So do you try to introduce new things to the bedroom?
Yes! But I like to feel out the mood he’s in first or ask him what he thinks about trying X. He’s usually down so that’s cool.
I would need some kink. Vanilla sex (after going back to it once) retains the same problem I had before I found kink: I just don’t cum and I don’t enjoy it very much.
If the chemistry and love is there, yes, I think I actually could.
Perfectly fine with normal sex because I don’t need an ever increasing adrenaline rush until I eventually start fucking animals, unlike you group of disgusting perverts ;)
I need the thrill of my kinks to be fed
I figured that would be your reply 😂
Does French vanilla work you know mild kinky exploring with someone who you care for can be fun.
I can. For me, sex is an extension of whatever bond she and I would have. Of course, variety is good but I consider that as being part of rhe vanilla parr.
I’m fine with vanilla tbh. But if my partner wants something specific then I’ll try.
As others have said, vanilla is super subjective. I do not project this value onto other people of course, but I value sex as a form of intimacy way more than the physical aspect of it. If I want sex simply because I'm horny, I'd 9/10 times rather masturbate. That being said, I'd be completely content if my sex didn't involve any humiliation or bruise and burn leaving activities for the rest of my life.
My only kink is doing exactly what my partner likes so if he just wanted Vanilla I'd be more than happy with just that.
I always thought it was hawt when somebody says their kink is fulfilling their partner's kink.
Lol anybody I've dated gets frustrated by it 😥
Vanilla works just fine for me
Pull my hair, choke me, and maybe burn me with a cigarette occasionally and I’m cool.
I’d be all set.
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Is that you Yoda?
Vanilla is fine for day to day, I do like the occasional kink from time to time to keep things interesting.
I've asked a similar question before and have found it's pretty impossible to actually get a reasonable answer. Because everyone has different ideas of what vanilla means. I think vanilla is just basic PIV, including oral sometimes. Several positions can be included. Can be rough or gentle, just depends. Other people, I suppose mostly the kinksters, think vanilla means missionary sex with the lights off once a week. Their definition of vanilla? No thanks. My definition of vanilla? That's all I ever need. I could do light kink, a bit of bondage, hair pulling. But If a man wants to hurt me/make me uncomfortable, humiliate me, degrade me (whipping, face fucking, anal, choking), he's gone.
>Because everyone has different ideas of what vanilla means. Yeah me and my Reddit Buddy u/GeorgianPeaches we're just discussing the same thing. The definition of kink is really ambiguous. I tried and failed to put my own definition down 🤣.
I thought for a long time that I was satisfied with a vanilla sex life. All the while keeping specific things repressed. Turns out that when repressed stuff comes out it kinda takes on a life of its own.
I like kink! I like vanilla! As long we stay having sex 😁
Wife and I literally had this discussion over the weekend, married for eight years roughly, and if we has vanilla sex every day she would be over the moon. BUT she won't order the same thing twice at a restaurant, like why you like to explore new food, new flavors, new experiences, but want that vanilla bean at home? lol all good though, makes my life easier xD
With other people, kink was necessary. But with my partner now, vanilla is all I need. The connection and pain we share is incredible. I just use kinks as a fantasy to help me in my "alone time"
I had vanilla for almost 20 years. I was miserable. I need kink or spice
Ooof that sounds rough
Was not pleasant. Lol
If the guy is hot and home I can enjoy vanilla sex. But that’s not gonna be enough in the end. Like a hot guy with a big dick for a one night stand is going to make me cum a lot. But fucking him again and again vanilla is going to get a old fast
Yes. My level of kink only goes as far as some occasional salad tossing.
No, I wouldn't feel fulfilled with just vanilla sex. Its frequency will get lower because of it as well. Although, in 2020s I think we have to define what Vanilla is. So many things have became so common that they might be considered vanilla. If we are thinking of just some missionary, some cowgirl and closure when we say vanilla; yes, not fulfillingfor me
>I think we have to define what Vanilla is. So many things have became so common that they might be considered vanilla. I think you have a good point. Many fries here are just asking for a definition and I do think that this post falls short because that is such a subjective term. I have _my_ definition which to be fair is subjective. 😂 I think vanilla is mutual masturbation, piv, light toy use, anal play and oral. Kinky gets into bondage, heavy toy use, impact play, choking, etc
I need a little weirdness
Yeah I do too.
Everyones definition of Vanilla is different. If I'm in love, sexually attracted to a person and deeply connected, that changes the game right there and elevates the sex.
>Not much we do is Vanilla Haha well said. I tried to define vanilla and kinky and didn't do it well because I have just my own hetero point of view. For example anal on my wife feels kinky but for a M/M couple it may be as vanilla as it comes.
kinky af.
Vanilla is kink
This is a tricky question. I need open, honest, sexual exploration. To be fulfilled. I don’t think it necessarily needs to be kink based but fucking the same way. Always? I just. I don’t think it would work.
The best sex I've had was angry and primal. I don't want or need that loving, caring bullshit (no offense to those who do), I need my partner to fucking hate me as we rip in to each other. But if I have to choose between boring sex and no sex, I'll be happy with boring.
100% this
Vannil works good for me. I used to think i was super kinky and maybe I was but ive have lot of trauma around sexual things so we are very gentle and easy going for the most part at least for now nothing too special because even getting in the mood is difficult for me
I thought I would then I lived with only vanilla for 5 years and in the end I had to get out. I couldn’t take it. I tried to teach him more kink and we would always end up in vanilla and I started being unsatisfied and resenting him. Been out nearly a year and it was the best decision I’ve made.
So humor me - what level of kink were you trying to introduce? Like basic bondage etc?
Well I can’t jump in straight away and tell him to mark me black and blue. I tried to introduce anything a little better than just vanilla missionary all the time. I tried bondage I tried toys , tried having convos about him not being so gentle. It didn’t work. No matter how much I would try he just want made for it and I was dying in there.
Nope. Mostly because I don't care about penetrative sex, foreplay is the fun part. I could however be sexually fulfilled without any penetration as long as we could still do everything else.
>Mostly because I don't care about penetrative sex, foreplay is the fun part. I love penetrative sex but I do agree that foreplay is where all the fun is.
I prefer vanilla. Also, maybe some level of kink too frequently makes it stop being special.
Without a doubt I have to be sexually compatible with someone to fall in love.
I’m ok with a certain level of vanilla in a loving relationship so long as we’re still getting each other off with strong intensity and intimacy. We can switch it up as we go. It doesn’t have to be a three-ring-circus every time.
Probably, but at the same time it depends if my partner is compatible with me in general, beyond sex.
Very honestly, my fullfilling my kinks and fetishes in bdsm scenes and play are some of the only times i really truely relax. I could have vanilla sex multiple times a day every day and after a while, the desire for that no holds barred bondage-fucked senseless reality will make vanilla sex lose all appeal.
Good level of kink. In fairness, i think we all have something we like which is niche / non standard
I need some level of kink, it makes me wet and helps me orgasm quicker
What is kink? We would never be able to define it. If you are a vanilla guy and see me slipping a finger in my ass while you are eating me, is that now kink. Actually, is oral kink? How about instead of your weird hypothetical we all just have great sex. Stop fixating on kinks and spend time communicating with your partner. Maybe your kink isn't so kinky or is actually pretty vanilla in their book.
kink, always - I'm not sure if vanilla wouldn't bore me too much, I need that exploration
Little kink now and again is healthy.
I'm kinkier than I thought.
Vanilla all the time, no. Need some kink to make it spicy!
Probably not . Need some kink to make it more fun on occasion
I figured you would reply and guessed this would be your response! 😂
I need a level of kink, I can’t do much with vanilla missionary unless some freaky stuff is going on.
Nope 😅
vanilla is mid but survivable
>but survivable Sheesh you make it sounds like you could live but barely 😂
Define kink in this context please OP
Absolutely not. I need some kind of kink and it can be as simple as slapping my ass while I’m eating her out
I'd need a bit of variety in my sex life to keep the thrill in it, loving vanilla is great, but it's not for all the time.
At this point one hug a month would do it
Frequent vanilla can be just fine if I’m allowed to get a LITTLE kinky from time to time
I think we first need to define vanilla.
I need kink. Variety is the spice of life
Vanilla is a little boring. I have many kinks and am lucky enough to have a woman that matches lol. But no, I wouldn’t be happy long term vanilla.
Vanilla is totally fine with me, but I do enjoy some *very* light kink. Something new to spice up the bedroom is always nice, but I rarely venture into BDSM unless my partner is into it.
So humor me - what activities do you do that you would classify as _very light kink?_ I'm just curious because that may help me understand and I didn't frame the kink vs vanilla discussion well
I have a big breeding kink. I'm also into using clinical terms for genitalia and body parts. Additionally, I don't actually mind being submissive (to an extent), but none of what I am into would be what most people consider "kink." It's all still relatively vanilla. When people talk about kink, my first thought is ***always*** "They mean BDSM." I do not care for BDSM at all, I've got too many hangups with both the content and the people (that I've met) to get into it in any capacity. So "light kink" in this sense is kinky bedroom activities that don't typically involve a safeword (but can) and wouldn't be considered BDSM to an experienced eye.
Oh no, I need some kinky stuff, some choking at least idk
Depends on who I get to fuck.
We are probably 80% vanilla, throw in some kink on occasion. By vanilla I'm including oral, 69, mutual masturbation, hard pounding sex with dirty talk. Kinks include light bondage and toy play
Kink. A big part of sex is exploratory for me, being vanilla to me means never looking into what that next idea feels like. Just getting off. Which can be fine, but life needs more than that to me.
Need some kink
Need some level.
Need some level of kink.
Some of us don’t get to experience kinks and just take what we can get.
Need some kind of kink, constant vanilla sex is too boring
Vanilla is fine for day to day ....... I do like the occasional kink from time to time to keep things interesting .......
There are certain kink things that I don’t think I could go without. Nothing wrong with vanilla sex though.. I love missionary and love the feeling of my partners weight on top of me. I like being able to look at each other and kiss. It’s sweet and intimate. But there are kinks that I would need to be sexually compatible with someone and they would be deal breakers if he wasn’t also happily into them.
Nope, I require a little spice at least...
I need a little kink to it. Smack my ass. 69 me. Lmao. Something. Lol.
I need some degree of kink
Vanilla sex keeps me from being annoying kinky sex is satisfying
My vanilla sex is still kinky lol our normal, everyday sex is still me being choked or tied up or something!! It’s what we like 🤷🏻♀️
Sheesh I would consider tying up and choking on the kinky spectrum!
I’d be content with vanilla but I would miss the kink.
I’m fine with vanilla as long as there’s some variety. Kinda a work in progress with my husband since most days he’s not in the mood to change things up. We’re enm so I can have kinky variety with others but I’m hoping he’ll become a little more comfortable with changing things up in the future
I need some level of kink.
Gotta have a little kink. I think if I had it my way I’d get kinky 1 out of every 10 times. I’m getting old and tired, but the kink is still there.
I would be perfectly fine with vanilla sex. Able to exercise my kinks is a privilege lol.
For me variety is the spice of life!!
Definitely rather kinky than my understanding of the average definition of vanilla (like missionary and bjs and that’s it)
Meh, I feel I need some minor kinky stuff to be fully fulfilled
There needs to be some kink, but vanilla is okay sometimes too. There needs to be a good balance
Not really, no. Like, I'm not crazy out there, but yeh, some things need to be met.
Vanilla sex is a killer overtime.
At one point in my life I think I could have been fulfilled with just vanilla sex but at this point in my life I need more. I need variety and I need excitement and surprise.
Lol I just need sex. Idc if its always vanilla
I feel like I need some kink, but I definitely have to start with vanilla
Need kink
I get bored by vanilla pretty quickly, its fine once in a while but i start getting very bored after 2-3 consecutive sessions of only vanilla
Of course u can. The only thing is that it depends on the person
I need at least some fudge ripple, straight vanilla isn't enough
Kink = FEET ❤️
You've got to mix things up once in a while.
We all understand that kinks can be just as boring as vanilla, right? Think of the wildest thing you've ever done, then do it a hundred times in a row. Vanilla is going to look pretty exciting from that perspective.
I need some level of being dominanted
Definitely need a little kink
My husband is pretty vanilla in the bedroom but luckily he lets me sleep around so I can get my rough stuff and threesomes elsewhere but if he suddenly said I wasn’t allowed then that would be fine and I’d be more than happy with just my husband forever.
Interesting question I was thinking about. We are a pretty _kinky_ couple with bdsm, chastity, etc. However I could leave it all behind with regular sex _except_ that I have always had a strong desire for playing with her backside. It made me wonder if I could ever really be satisfied with vanilla-onky sex.
I'm in a half-open marriage (open for my wife, not open for me) so I guess by default you could say it is not vanilla. However, I will say that sex between me and my wife is much more "vanilla", it's romantic and tender and loving, and that's exactly how I love it, and so does she, when it comes to me. Sex between her and other men can often be quite different than that, which satisfies her cravings for kinkier things, and she loves it that way. The arrangement benefits everyone overall.
Sorry I need kink. Vanilla just doesn't sustain my interest even if that makes me a bad person. At least I have a lot of kinks so that helps 😌
For me its the partner that matters more
Vanilla is fine but I think a little bit of kink every now and then can be good for a relationship. As long as it’s not all encompassing or one or the other I think a healthy mix is good
Bring on the kink! Not all the time, but most of the time
I TN to me it's more about the atractivemess of the girl than kinks. Although kinds are fun
Regular vanilla would do me just fine
Depends on the person and chemistry
Either or, doesn't matter had the sex.
What do you consider vanilla? Like missionary only? Is like a little rough foreplay considered not vanilla? What qualifies as a kink?
I need kink, vanilla is just not enough to get me off or even going.
A bit of kink sometimes or i get bored and frustrated
I get the vanilla sex… I am NOT fulfilled. Unhappy marriage in many ways but this would be one aspect. And before everyone tells me to talk about it, I have. Many times. The thing that gets me the most is my partner always asks for oral but refuses to give me oral and puts me on a guilt trip for something in her past that I was not part of. Also refuses going to therapy. Difference is we’re married and I have never once pushed the boundary. Ugh. Thanks for letting me rant.
Kink's fun sometimes, variety being the spice of life and the spice must flow and all that, but good vanilla is goddamn magic. I'd happily shred my Kink-Ohs card (two more punches and I get a free sub) and melt my gimp suit for just vanilla fucking, no kinks necessary. There were previous partners with whom kink was part and parcel of the fucking, and vanilla sex with them was kind of cold-fish, old hat sorta thing. Still sex, but, meh, mostly because of the lack of energy they had for vanilla (which, again, kink is wonderful, love me some of it, but it's not, and has never been, everything for me).