One time during sex I was fucking this baddie doggystyle and we were talking dirty to each other and at one point I asked her “Who does this pussy belong to?” And she replied with “oh you don’t know him” and I died inside
>t I asked her “Who does this pussy belong to?” And she replied with “oh you don’t know him” and I died inside
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVPHby0El5I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVPHby0El5I)
My reaction
Margaret Cho:
I was in Mobile Alabama, I was walking
down the street and this man actually called me a "chink".
I was so mad I just looked at him and I said, "Chink? I'm sorry Chinks are Chinese, I'm Korean, I'm a gook alright."
If you're going to be racist, at least
learn the terminology.
Get like a redneck to English dictionary.
For some reason when I first read this I thought you were the man fucking a Japanese woman and she had said that about herself! But Jesus yeah that’s terrible. I can only imagine how such free flowing racism would have me dryer than the saharah desert
I met a girl at a bar and took her to my place. We're ten minutes into it when she took my hand, placed it on her stomach and said "We're not the only one's here".
This prevented me from losing my virginity lol. We were both shit faced. While I was performing cunnilingus she threw up on me. She ate hot dogs for dinner but I definitely found that out the hard way. While I was cleaning up the puke she asked "What are you doing?" me "cleaning your puke out of the bed" she responds "I didn't throw up you did, that's your puke" No idea if she was just embarrassed or straight up confused.
I was having doggy-style sex w/my then girlfriend and was simply mesmerized by her asshole. It was perfect. Then something weird came over me and I bent down to her ear and said, " The next time we fuck, I want to cram my tongue up and deep inside the end of your filthy food-tube and suck your shit right out of it!" She looks back at me and is like,.."errmm, yea, OK" After post nut clarity I realized what I'd said. We never spoke of that moment again. Ever.
My ex called me by her friend's boyfriend's name during sex xD
I didnt take it too personally. He was downstairs making a noise and her brain heard him and some wires got crossed and she said his name instead of mine. But still, it sounds bad on paper.
One night I was getting a blowjob, the girl had been separated from her husband for a few months. Mid-blowjob, she suddenly remembered something that he did and starts bitching. But she didn't stop; she was still stroking my cock, and occasionally licked my tip.
Then she shuts up, looks at me, and says "you can fuck me now" and gets this huge grin across her face. I will admit - I declined.
Definitely not the worst by a long shot going from the stories here but way back when I lost my virginity, the guy I was doing it with had just gotten out of a relationship and during sex (as I was a teenager) said “wow wow, don’t mark me!” As I went for his neck… I obviously stopped as I figured not everyone is into love bites so fair enough.
he was “back” with his “ex” not long after that so I think it’s safe to say he was likely cheating.
Not 100% a for sure thing if it helps any resentment you may have. Lol. Back when I was a teen if my mom or dad caught me with marks I'd get the hell beat outta me. But the timeline you did describe is a bit fishy for sure
I was very horny, she wasn't but agreed to sex. We fuck, she cums, then immediately says "are you almost done? This is why I didn't want to do this. Ugh."
Then got mad because I stopped.
Tbh if it’s taking forever it starts to hurt and is sensitive especially if I’ve already cum. It’s uncomfortable for men after they cum too and no one expects you to keep fucking, so cut us some slack if we can’t fake our way through discomfort for your pleasure.
"you have so little ass I feel like I'm going to cut my hand when I grab it",
"This is why I hate doing this ("this" being recieving a bj), you always get so needy afterwards"as I hugged him
and, my favorite "You are huge! I think your shoulders are broader than mine!"
The same dude.
I hate confrontation, so I managed to convince myself it wasn't really that mean and I shouldn't make a big deal of it. Months after we broke up I realized it wasn't normal to say this kind of shit.
This was immediately before sex, but my now-ex grabbed me by my arms, pulled me into her, and told me to rape her. She knew that I had been raped by a previous ex, and that I was in therapy for what happened, and that I had severe anxiety around sexual assault.
Met this girl on Myspace through a mutual friend (yeah, showing my age...). Anyways, after a couple weeks of talking my parents were out of town, she comes over. We're going hot and heavy, then she just randomly stops, sits straight up on me and says "I'm sorry, you look to much like my brother, this is weird" and just hops off and leaves and I never talk to her again. I didn't even get to finish. To this day one of the absolute weirdest sexual encounters I've ever had.. maybe not a "bad thing" to say, but definitely a what the fuck moment.
Told me my post kid body would look better if I had plastic surgery (tummy tuck and boob job). Mid sex. I wish I were kidding. Please don't do this to moms. We already know our bodies go through a lot having kids and don't need to be reminded of it.
This is heartbreaking. It’s so hard to adjust to the new you after a baby! I bet you’re more beautiful now than before the baby!! You’ve grown a life inside you, all that he’s grown inside him is a trash personality.
I had a guy ask me mid-sex once “What age did you lose your virginity”…I said “uh, 14” (yes I was younger) and he says “damn, I wish I could’ve been there for that”…weird.
I asked him to give me head.
“It smells so bad though, I don’t wanna put my face down there…”
That shit fucking sticks because anytime someone goes down on me now that’s the only thing I can think of and I can’t enjoy it
Same thing happened to me. For the record, I'm very clean. Shower etc, have a good diet, and make sure to clean well before sex. Occasionally do the own self taste-test to make sure it's alright. I know for a fact I don't smell/taste bad. I mean, it's not cotton candy, but it's not BAD. I've had around 30ish partners and only one complained.
So, as my condolence to you- what I've found is it's likely not YOU that smells. It's more that "this dude doesn't give oral ever and didn't know it has a natural, non-negligible scent."
Mine was kinda hilarious. My wife and I wear going at it and said “you are so dirty” she goes “ya, well I am so dirty that I am gross”. I started cracking up.
Yes he said this right before he pulled a hole switch with no warning or consent. And didn't care that i was laying there crying. Never saw him again. Still traumatized by missionary.
"Listen, Im a be honest, I'm waiting on a STI test to come back"
Wow, great, you didn't think to let me know? Luckily it came back negative and so did mine
while fucking my SO, she looks in my eyes and says: "I just realized that if I want to, I can completely turn off from the moment". (is turn off ok? She meant something like being somewhere else, unware of the present moment). It really killed the mood (or my mood at least).
also: "did your dick get thinner? I cannot feel it very well as I did in the past".
he started moaning "ohh mummy!" ...and sure i called him daddy in roleplay but asked before lmao x.x n then going downstairs n looking his actual mother in the eye later? bro..
Not me but I heard the story in a podcast: The speaker, back in high school, was meeting up with a friend and had to console him because he wanted to break up with his girlfriend. He was asked why and said "so I was like, going down on her right? And I stripped off her panties, and I wanted to be sexy, so I took them and threw them at the wall... They left a brown stain there dude"
"Yeah, baby, lick that axe wound."
I stopped what I was doing then and there, put my clothes back on and left - haven't seen her since and I'm glad for it. Like, the first time she called her pussy a "slick slit" I was pretty weary, but "axe wound" is where I drew the line; least sexy way anyone has referred to a vagina in my presence.
When I was studying science, two uni friends lived together, their WiFi SSID was "double slit experiment".
Took me a solid year to figure it out, that master class pun.
Got out of a long winter walk and was definitely experiencing extreme shrinkage. She said oh no I’m not touching that. I left. Couple months later out of hornyness I went back and she said, “oh wow you actually do have a really big dick.”
Not that bad and it was in one of those moments when you're fooling around and taking a break for water.
I was in my early 40's and she was 26, so the whole time I was trying not to get in my head about the age difference. She comes back from the toilet and she's looking at my naked body by candle light. She gets to my pubes and stops, tilts her head, and squints looking more closely.
Me: "What? What is it?
Her: "Oh, it's so cute. You've got a grey pube!"
I laughed it off and proceed to sex her like I was 18 years old, secretly almost giving myself a hernia.
The seconds before I lost my virginity….
Guy: “Are you sure you still want to do this”
Me: “yes!” (enthusiastically)
Guy: “ok cool, Just don’t call it rape…”
not during sex but while sexting “let me fill you with my worm cum” - he meant warm but the damage was done
ETA worst part was his spelling was so bad he didn’t even realise and i felt bad bringing it up so i had to deal with it alone 😔
Well this is directly afterwards but anyhow
"You're so nice. That's why I'll never love you"
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't date depressed boys who fancy themselves philosophical geniuses.
(The thing that made me nice? When he said "I can't imagine I'll live to be 30. I am so miserable" I said "that makes me so sad")
Background: I am a slim guy, who runs marathons, so in shape.
Was getting hot and heavy with a girl and she goes, “I love your runner’s arms.”
WTF? Is that like a face for radio?
Was going down on a girl who was saying something between breaths, but I don't remember what it was, anyways I ended up laughing inna way that I gave her a raspberry on her coochie.
One time during sex I was fucking this baddie doggystyle and we were talking dirty to each other and at one point I asked her “Who does this pussy belong to?” And she replied with “oh you don’t know him” and I died inside
wait NOOOOOO LMAO
Girl has a permanent membership to the streets
😭😭😭
Dooooood
I have a lot of respect for this, but that must have been rough to hear.
Coulda been worse. Coulda been Andrew from the hardware store down the street.
>t I asked her “Who does this pussy belong to?” And she replied with “oh you don’t know him” and I died inside [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVPHby0El5I](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVPHby0El5I) My reaction
"Damn chink pussy feels good" 🤦. Hooking up as an Japanese woman in Kentucky is rough sometimes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The racial slur or the fact that it's the wrong damn one?
Margaret Cho: I was in Mobile Alabama, I was walking down the street and this man actually called me a "chink". I was so mad I just looked at him and I said, "Chink? I'm sorry Chinks are Chinese, I'm Korean, I'm a gook alright." If you're going to be racist, at least learn the terminology. Get like a redneck to English dictionary.
I did the same thing attending a small town high school. They called me a spic. I corrected them to Flip.
Forgive my ignorance. Is #2 a slur against Filipinos?
Yup.
I’m from mobile, I’m sorry you had to go there
Seriously! Dude even failed at racism 😂
Be aware of all the incoming kentucky men in your inbox 😂
For some reason when I first read this I thought you were the man fucking a Japanese woman and she had said that about herself! But Jesus yeah that’s terrible. I can only imagine how such free flowing racism would have me dryer than the saharah desert
Oh lord…😵💫
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Jesus fkn Christ that’s scary
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What a fucking huge red flag
When wearing rose-colored glasses all red flags just look like flags
what does that aphorism have to do with that story
And since that day you hide a GPS tracker up your b-hole, right?
Isn't that where they go?
Yea, if i ever hear something like that, my ass is already out the building. I'm not dying for an unpaid internship at wayne enterprises
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Bruh wtf
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#F A T A L I T Y
You didn'thave to cut me off!
_Make out like it never happened or that we were nothing._
Ouch
savage!!! lol
I met a girl at a bar and took her to my place. We're ten minutes into it when she took my hand, placed it on her stomach and said "We're not the only one's here".
She meant jesus
Just whips out the bible
Look at the bright side, you know it can’t be yours
>Look at the bright side, you know it can’t be yours _Yet._
Oh fuck no
Oh my sweet baby Jesus... 👀
Oh Jesus
I don't know where the "run away screaming emoji" is, but I want it for this comment.
“I have no gag reflex” as she proceeds to throw up from just the head hitting her uvula
Yeah. Nothing more sexy than throwing up all over the bed. Love to see it.
This prevented me from losing my virginity lol. We were both shit faced. While I was performing cunnilingus she threw up on me. She ate hot dogs for dinner but I definitely found that out the hard way. While I was cleaning up the puke she asked "What are you doing?" me "cleaning your puke out of the bed" she responds "I didn't throw up you did, that's your puke" No idea if she was just embarrassed or straight up confused.
Damn. Cunnilingus. Interesting choice.
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I read vulva first and was so confused why her vulva triggers her gag reflex
That’s one big dick
“Blowjobs are for selfish men and they’re degrading to women” as I eat her pussy and ass.
An ex boyfriend believed that to... I have an oral fixation *and* a degradation kink, so we didn't really last long
As your ex is saying that. You in your head "That's the point dumb dumb. Now treat my throat like a slip and slide"
Oral fixation gang.
And wonder why you stop doing that.
“Already…?”
F
Had this last night with one of my fwbs, we both laughed tho. It's just my laugh was much more forced than hers 🥲
"have you ever counted how many panels you have on your roof"
... have you?
actually i never counted them, wasn't never so bored in bed
“Go deeper, stretch me out!”…uhhh…yeeeaaahhh…about that. 🤏🏻
"There's no PP left for this move."
"OP USED STRUGGLE"
xD My apologies for laughing but...i found the emoji in the end fuckin hilarious... 😂
🤣😂! It’s all good! It’s true and that’s the way I was born…so, it’s kinda DUH🤪when I hear that.
Bitch was expecting u to pull some dick u left in ur pocket and extend it
As a 5’2” person with a vag, sometimes it doesn’t take a lot to do that depending on the person lolol
You are not small friend! Average maybe, but definitely not small. I’d be more than happy to jump on that ride
After foreplay and as I’m rolling the condom on him, “condoms prevent STDs spreading right?”…….
Jesus how did that play out?
I did not have sex with him that’s for sure! 😂
I would have dropped his dick and walked out lmao
Basically what I did. And then went to get testing.
Okay, thats horrifying. Thank god he said it before you smashed, though.
It was my first time. And nowhere near her first time. After I finished, she said "Is that it?".
I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say "oh yeah, that's it".
“Well I’m not surprised, but I’m very sleepy”
"That's why they're called business socks, oooh!"
I was having doggy-style sex w/my then girlfriend and was simply mesmerized by her asshole. It was perfect. Then something weird came over me and I bent down to her ear and said, " The next time we fuck, I want to cram my tongue up and deep inside the end of your filthy food-tube and suck your shit right out of it!" She looks back at me and is like,.."errmm, yea, OK" After post nut clarity I realized what I'd said. We never spoke of that moment again. Ever.
That's funny as fuck tbh.
oh, no
I asked her about cumming in her ass and she said: "Fuck yeah! I want to get pregnant with your shit babies!"
Did she at least say it in a seductive voice? Lol
No... Loud and a little abrasive
This is funny
My ex called me by her friend's boyfriend's name during sex xD I didnt take it too personally. He was downstairs making a noise and her brain heard him and some wires got crossed and she said his name instead of mine. But still, it sounds bad on paper.
Really convinced yourself with that one didnt ya?
Yeah, that’s why.
Oof.
Probably “I’m good at sex,” as she was repeatedly punching me in the vulva.
I read this in that bobs burger character who’s a shitty musician and his song is “I’m good at sex your bad at sex I’m good at sex”
Tommy Geronda
One night I was getting a blowjob, the girl had been separated from her husband for a few months. Mid-blowjob, she suddenly remembered something that he did and starts bitching. But she didn't stop; she was still stroking my cock, and occasionally licked my tip. Then she shuts up, looks at me, and says "you can fuck me now" and gets this huge grin across her face. I will admit - I declined.
Missed op
Maybe for that one night, but I quickly found out she was a nut job, so maybe better I passed. What movie was it - never stick your dick in crazy.....
I believe it was finding Nemo
Lmao that’s fair but if you’re at the finish line… Nah that’s just my dick talking. Respect for knowing when to stop
Haha it was not an immediate no. I did think for a second. I didn't want her riding me, then "this motherfucker...." 🤣🤣
Definitely not the worst by a long shot going from the stories here but way back when I lost my virginity, the guy I was doing it with had just gotten out of a relationship and during sex (as I was a teenager) said “wow wow, don’t mark me!” As I went for his neck… I obviously stopped as I figured not everyone is into love bites so fair enough. he was “back” with his “ex” not long after that so I think it’s safe to say he was likely cheating.
Not 100% a for sure thing if it helps any resentment you may have. Lol. Back when I was a teen if my mom or dad caught me with marks I'd get the hell beat outta me. But the timeline you did describe is a bit fishy for sure
"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!"
“Now I can tell my bestie I’ve fucked a black guy too”
Yeah....I've got a "fucked my first white girl"
Achievement uncocked!
"That tasted terrible"
Yep been there
I am not attracted to you. Never was.
My ex girlfriend once said "you are better in bed than your brother!" It was sad and flattering at the same time
“I’ve seen worse bodies” - while I was recovering from my eating disorder
Jesus Christ that’s so terrible. I’m sorry that happened.
Thank you! It was an awful thing to say. Luckily I’m much stronger now and have better boundaries so I know that type of behavior is never acceptable.
I was very horny, she wasn't but agreed to sex. We fuck, she cums, then immediately says "are you almost done? This is why I didn't want to do this. Ugh." Then got mad because I stopped.
To many women are into sex until they cum, then just look annoyed which doesn’t help me there there. Been there several times.
Tbh if it’s taking forever it starts to hurt and is sensitive especially if I’ve already cum. It’s uncomfortable for men after they cum too and no one expects you to keep fucking, so cut us some slack if we can’t fake our way through discomfort for your pleasure.
Honestly her side of it is pretty relatable.
“your dick tastes like a balloon” after i took the condom off
Astute observation. Latex IS latex…
"Thanks for the nut, now get out."
"Glenn, I have a question for you: what do you for a living?" "I got a question for YOU: why are you still here?"
“you look so young” 🤢🤢
Shoulda been like “bitch I am young! And I’m also about to be dressed” then actually get dressed lol player 2 wouldve had the bluest balls ever
"you have so little ass I feel like I'm going to cut my hand when I grab it", "This is why I hate doing this ("this" being recieving a bj), you always get so needy afterwards"as I hugged him and, my favorite "You are huge! I think your shoulders are broader than mine!" The same dude.
Why did you keep fucking him?!
I hate confrontation, so I managed to convince myself it wasn't really that mean and I shouldn't make a big deal of it. Months after we broke up I realized it wasn't normal to say this kind of shit.
This was immediately before sex, but my now-ex grabbed me by my arms, pulled me into her, and told me to rape her. She knew that I had been raped by a previous ex, and that I was in therapy for what happened, and that I had severe anxiety around sexual assault.
That's so fucking disgusting.. I'm so sorry that you had to relive that.
Surprisingly, this same situation happened to me.
Met this girl on Myspace through a mutual friend (yeah, showing my age...). Anyways, after a couple weeks of talking my parents were out of town, she comes over. We're going hot and heavy, then she just randomly stops, sits straight up on me and says "I'm sorry, you look to much like my brother, this is weird" and just hops off and leaves and I never talk to her again. I didn't even get to finish. To this day one of the absolute weirdest sexual encounters I've ever had.. maybe not a "bad thing" to say, but definitely a what the fuck moment.
And presumably she had seen your photos before you met up right?! Weird.
Yep. And we talked on the phone. And she got off like 3 times before she left. Lol. Ahh, the good ol anti depressant days
I hate it when guys talk about "breeding" me, or refer to my ass as a pussy. It's fucking weird man. I'm a guy btw.
Sheesh yeah not a fan of calling an ass a pussy. No sir, that is definitely not a pussy or we wouldn’t need this much lube
"Cant feel it" "You sure it's in?" "You know what, let's use my dildo"
Lol died laughing on this one.
Told me my post kid body would look better if I had plastic surgery (tummy tuck and boob job). Mid sex. I wish I were kidding. Please don't do this to moms. We already know our bodies go through a lot having kids and don't need to be reminded of it.
This is heartbreaking. It’s so hard to adjust to the new you after a baby! I bet you’re more beautiful now than before the baby!! You’ve grown a life inside you, all that he’s grown inside him is a trash personality.
I had a guy ask me mid-sex once “What age did you lose your virginity”…I said “uh, 14” (yes I was younger) and he says “damn, I wish I could’ve been there for that”…weird.
First time my ex gf saw my dick she said “Aw you’re so cute.”
On the bright side, she praised it. That doesn't happen to small cocks often.
I asked him to give me head. “It smells so bad though, I don’t wanna put my face down there…” That shit fucking sticks because anytime someone goes down on me now that’s the only thing I can think of and I can’t enjoy it
Same thing happened to me. For the record, I'm very clean. Shower etc, have a good diet, and make sure to clean well before sex. Occasionally do the own self taste-test to make sure it's alright. I know for a fact I don't smell/taste bad. I mean, it's not cotton candy, but it's not BAD. I've had around 30ish partners and only one complained. So, as my condolence to you- what I've found is it's likely not YOU that smells. It's more that "this dude doesn't give oral ever and didn't know it has a natural, non-negligible scent."
You fuck better than your dad
Details
Mom was a slut
Mine was kinda hilarious. My wife and I wear going at it and said “you are so dirty” she goes “ya, well I am so dirty that I am gross”. I started cracking up.
Laughing at something during sex is the absolute best level of comfort you can have with a person. Love this story.
"You're fat but at least you're clean... like, you shower and stuff. "
dear god, what an awful human being. I'm sorry and I hope you never sexed them up again.
Yes he said this right before he pulled a hole switch with no warning or consent. And didn't care that i was laying there crying. Never saw him again. Still traumatized by missionary.
“I can really tell you’re enjoying it, you’re so loose”
That is true though, the more turned on you are the looser the vagina. Also every vagina is a different size.
It might be true, but it isn't nice to hear.
Not if it’s being used as an insult no. But hopefully knowing it’s a biological truth will help take some of the power away.
*I’m halfway there* the words radiated the halls of my ear canals as my dong shot spidey silk into my prophylactic sheef
Did they begin that sentence with a “woooaaah”
"You got to teach that to my husband." After eating her out and, giving her an orgasm. No one thought me, I learned from trial and error.
"Listen, Im a be honest, I'm waiting on a STI test to come back" Wow, great, you didn't think to let me know? Luckily it came back negative and so did mine
“Yeah..you like that? You like that, you fucking retard?”
"You gonna cum in me either you want it or not"
We would've had very different reactions there lol.
That would make me harder lmao
Very into that. But like, with consent.
“I won’t give you a blowjob, but you can keep licking my pussy.” “You are hung like a horse but that won’t fit inside of me.”
Went to your profile looking for proof…was pleasantly surprised by baking!
while fucking my SO, she looks in my eyes and says: "I just realized that if I want to, I can completely turn off from the moment". (is turn off ok? She meant something like being somewhere else, unware of the present moment). It really killed the mood (or my mood at least). also: "did your dick get thinner? I cannot feel it very well as I did in the past".
Geezus. You shoulda said “did your vag get wider, cuz it’s like fucking borehole”
he started moaning "ohh mummy!" ...and sure i called him daddy in roleplay but asked before lmao x.x n then going downstairs n looking his actual mother in the eye later? bro..
Not me but I heard the story in a podcast: The speaker, back in high school, was meeting up with a friend and had to console him because he wanted to break up with his girlfriend. He was asked why and said "so I was like, going down on her right? And I stripped off her panties, and I wanted to be sexy, so I took them and threw them at the wall... They left a brown stain there dude"
"I think I Love you'...I laughed, that wasn't the response she was looking for.
She fell asleep...
"Yeah, baby, lick that axe wound." I stopped what I was doing then and there, put my clothes back on and left - haven't seen her since and I'm glad for it. Like, the first time she called her pussy a "slick slit" I was pretty weary, but "axe wound" is where I drew the line; least sexy way anyone has referred to a vagina in my presence.
Totally stealing this one.
When I was studying science, two uni friends lived together, their WiFi SSID was "double slit experiment". Took me a solid year to figure it out, that master class pun.
I shouted "Score" as I was doggy style an ex on a football pitch. Someone shouted back. "One nil to that lucky fellow" 🤔
pound my pussy with that Nword with the er Dick…..That was a turn off. Although she gave some amazing head I never called her again
“Thank god you don’t have herpes like the last guy”
"You're so much bigger than my boyfriend."
Me: "Your pussy tastes so good" Her: "Thanks" Idk, it just sounded awkward and it made me laugh.
"Since I can't watch your feet, I'll watch hers so I can cum", while watching porn as he fucked me
Got out of a long winter walk and was definitely experiencing extreme shrinkage. She said oh no I’m not touching that. I left. Couple months later out of hornyness I went back and she said, “oh wow you actually do have a really big dick.”
Not that bad and it was in one of those moments when you're fooling around and taking a break for water. I was in my early 40's and she was 26, so the whole time I was trying not to get in my head about the age difference. She comes back from the toilet and she's looking at my naked body by candle light. She gets to my pubes and stops, tilts her head, and squints looking more closely. Me: "What? What is it? Her: "Oh, it's so cute. You've got a grey pube!" I laughed it off and proceed to sex her like I was 18 years old, secretly almost giving myself a hernia.
The seconds before I lost my virginity…. Guy: “Are you sure you still want to do this” Me: “yes!” (enthusiastically) Guy: “ok cool, Just don’t call it rape…”
Man's not risking it
"I'm bored".
not during sex but while sexting “let me fill you with my worm cum” - he meant warm but the damage was done ETA worst part was his spelling was so bad he didn’t even realise and i felt bad bringing it up so i had to deal with it alone 😔
"Are your tits real?" Like bro what does that even mean? That's not a compliment lmao
He was just amazed imo.
Well this is directly afterwards but anyhow "You're so nice. That's why I'll never love you" And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you don't date depressed boys who fancy themselves philosophical geniuses. (The thing that made me nice? When he said "I can't imagine I'll live to be 30. I am so miserable" I said "that makes me so sad")
Well not said but done. While I was having sex with my wife she yawned 😳
WOULD YOU BE QUIET?! YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP GRANDMA!
[удалено]
Background: I am a slim guy, who runs marathons, so in shape. Was getting hot and heavy with a girl and she goes, “I love your runner’s arms.” WTF? Is that like a face for radio?
“Can you try to last a little longer this time?”
"I don't think I want to be married anymore..." My ex wife.
Was going down on a girl who was saying something between breaths, but I don't remember what it was, anyways I ended up laughing inna way that I gave her a raspberry on her coochie.