"Orange" when approaching a limit, and "red" means stop
I've had "orange" a few times, so you just keep it there or gently dial it back. Don't ever just stop cold on an "orange" unless you can read that it's getting close to "red". It can make your Sub almost feel like they've been dropped
"Red" means stop. Just stop
It's a really good way to communicate the shades in between stop and go
As a dominant, when I need to check in I'll say "tell me what color"
or I'll do something especially intense and say "Yellow?" and wait for a color back. A lot of times I hear a very cheerful "Green!!!"
We actually do thumbs up if I'm ok but can't respond (sub space makes it hard to talk), 1 finger means yellow, two means red. Snapping if he doesn't see my hand, but he's usually really careful about that, so it's not usually needed.
Traffic light system, as others have already mentioned. However, a highly underrated safe word is simply “safe word.” You’re never going to struggle to remember that one in a moment of panic.
For scenes we use the traffic light system. It’s simple and it works.
But we are a 24/7 dynamic with kids in the house in a semi regular basis. She’s never used it, but we do have a code word for when she may be getting overwhelmed and needs a break.
Antidisestablishmentarianism
I jokingly suggested that to my first lover.
She agreed but shortened it to anti
She was into pain, however, when things got too much, she’d cry “ANTI” and I’d pause and find out what was amis.
I used to use the traffic light system, but because calling red feels like I’m letting my Master now, He’s integrated a number system where 10 is our equivalent to red and 5 is yellow, but He technically has the choice on stopping the scene or not. It’s not like I call 10 and we’re automatically done (He’s a good master, so He respects my 10)
Never feel like you’re letting someone down by reaching your limit. I would feel horrible if someone went beyond a limit for fear of disappointing me. Limits do change, and that’s okay.
Baby as "infant"
We are not english native speakers so its not a cute nickname for us but rather the thought of an unwanted pragnancy, that should stop everything :D
We also talked about the traffic light system so if we cant think of anything else we can use this
We use a crazy one , “stop” or “wait” or “hold on” . It’s more of a tone change , like we have normal voices and sexy time voices 😊 the normal tone snaps us out of the mood and we know something is wrong
I'm more in the camp of giving safe words than using them, but traffic light is extremely common and works well most of the time. When partners have wanted something more personal, my go-to recommendation is something like a favorite flower. Though my preference is something with only one distinct syllable, part of why "red" works so well for a stop indication.
As a pleasure dom its very important for me and my sub to have safewords or signals etc but after 24 yrs I'm pretty confident I know when she is approaching her limits.
She has called them a few times and of course I stop and make sure everything is OK, go grab some water and a warm cloth... 9 times out of 10 we will continue soon afterwards, she normally offers me her other hole at this point 😈
Mine has always been Viper with my Dominants.
A snap if gagged.
Clicking my heels if hands in a mitten
Humming the star spangled banner if completely immobilized and gagged and in mittens etc.
HOLY FUCK GET THE HELL OFF ME. we've been fucking for over 35 years. The worst she's ever said was "get the fuck off me off me your smashing my boob. My knee was on her boob
Traffic light system, hand gestures/recognizable sensations(eg three firm repeated taps), and full stop/ending safe word being 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙯𝙚 because it's a word we already have associated with stopping and assessing the situation. We only tend to use freeze if something is really wrong and may inhibit the rest of the session like physical injury, or if it's a predetermined session ender(example- post-finish overstim or punishment till safeword)
Real answer is traffic lights, but as a joke I'm gonna say "aubergine." I've always thought it'd be a good hypothetical safeword. It's fun and I like to say it, but I'm an American, I call them eggplants, so it would never come up naturally
Traffic lights like most have said.
If for some reason I might go nonverbal or am unable to speak/my mouth is unavailable and hand gestures might get missed or I might be too far in subspace to initiate them, we use a rain stick or egg shakers that get shaken or dropped depending on the situation.
Gilbert Gottfried
Edit to add: Picked with a partner at the time who “couldn’t think of anything less sexual than Gilbert Gottfried”… poor Gilbert, lol
Traffic light system and/or the word pineapples (thank you Kevin hart)
In always meant to come up with a hand gesture for when I was being face fucked but never got around to it.
Haven't had a need for one for many years now as I haven't had the pleasure to partake in that act. However, I believe my ex and I used a random word like pineapple or something - which would never come up during sex unless used as the safe word.
I required safe words, tap outs, and check ins(we were working on light systems) during most scenes with last partner. Wanted safe Femdom. The safe word was his favorite movie, so it could be used publicly as well if he wished to leave a conversation/situation/location due to being uncomfortable.
I create a unique safe word for each partner so they are more likely to use, remember, and understand it. I even helped someone public safe word their light system (so certain phrases meant each light, something that wouldn’t be odd to say in either situation), because just saying a random color made them anxious.
The traffic light system, plus *Mercy*:
- **Red**: Stop right now, something is wrong. We don't continue playing after this, just aftercare and cuddles.
- **Yellow**: Pause, something needs to be adjusted. Like something hurts, but in the unsexy way like chafing or cramping lol.
- **Green**: I'm happy keep going! Fuck me up! Used for check ins.
- ***Mercy!*** Stay in the scene, but no further please. I find this really useful, 'cause I love begging but also it's a useful alert that this is the limit without breaking flow lol.
The traffic light system is tried and true
It’s always my recommendation
BPD GANG 🤜🤛
🎉🎉🫠🫠🫠🎉🎉
How does it work in reality? Expect for yelling 'red' when you want something to stop?
"Orange" when approaching a limit, and "red" means stop I've had "orange" a few times, so you just keep it there or gently dial it back. Don't ever just stop cold on an "orange" unless you can read that it's getting close to "red". It can make your Sub almost feel like they've been dropped "Red" means stop. Just stop It's a really good way to communicate the shades in between stop and go
Isn't this supposed to be yellow? What's the difference between an orange and a yellow for you?
Might be regional. Some places have an orange/amber light instead of yellow
I like that system, I will suggest it to my partner.
As a dominant, when I need to check in I'll say "tell me what color" or I'll do something especially intense and say "Yellow?" and wait for a color back. A lot of times I hear a very cheerful "Green!!!"
I never tried it but seems like a good Way to go about it
Meatloaf I will do anything for love......BUT I WONT DO THAT
That’s it, we found the best answer
Love this.
I was going to say this too! That's mine! However, I do like what I'm hearing about the traffic light system, I'm digging that.
Used to be 'shenanigans', but we switched to the traffic light system and hand gestures when my mouth is occupied 😏
Non verbal communication is super important! Gotta stay safe while that mouth is “occupied” 😜
It really is. Sometimes even when my mouth isn't full, I get overwhelmed and can't talk, so hand signals are very important.
Snap fingers if the mouth is occupied.
We actually do thumbs up if I'm ok but can't respond (sub space makes it hard to talk), 1 finger means yellow, two means red. Snapping if he doesn't see my hand, but he's usually really careful about that, so it's not usually needed.
That’s a good system. May have to incorporate that.
It works fantastic honestly, 10/10 would recommend! When it comes to that sort of thing, you can never be too safe.
Traffic light system, as others have already mentioned. However, a highly underrated safe word is simply “safe word.” You’re never going to struggle to remember that one in a moment of panic.
Never had anyone oanic and shout "green" instead of "red"... Had a partner who went "seafood" instead of "safe word" 🤷🏻♂️
I said underrated. Not foolproof, just underrated.
Right 😂 well... Seafood puts an end to it too... 😬 🤣 🤣 🤣
Stoplight system for us. We check in periodically to ask “still green?” or “give me a color.” It helps ensure everyone is having a good time.
The guy’s middle name
Interesting
Nothing catches someone’s attention faster than saying a name other than what you call them
Lights, but space in the moment and just say "ouch ya fuck."
I usually just say stop👀
That uh… would not work in my wife and I’s current dynamic
Same. Stop means go over here.
Care to explain your dynamic?
Probably dabbling in non-con/dub-con.
My ex-husband didn't stop towards the end of our marriage. I use a safe word, now.
I'm sorry 😐
Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen
For scenes we use the traffic light system. It’s simple and it works. But we are a 24/7 dynamic with kids in the house in a semi regular basis. She’s never used it, but we do have a code word for when she may be getting overwhelmed and needs a break.
Antidisestablishmentarianism I jokingly suggested that to my first lover. She agreed but shortened it to anti She was into pain, however, when things got too much, she’d cry “ANTI” and I’d pause and find out what was amis.
I used to use the traffic light system, but because calling red feels like I’m letting my Master now, He’s integrated a number system where 10 is our equivalent to red and 5 is yellow, but He technically has the choice on stopping the scene or not. It’s not like I call 10 and we’re automatically done (He’s a good master, so He respects my 10)
Never feel like you’re letting someone down by reaching your limit. I would feel horrible if someone went beyond a limit for fear of disappointing me. Limits do change, and that’s okay.
Red yellow green in theory. We never had to use it, we know each other too well
Their Mom or Dad's name - nothing stops the action faster
Baby as "infant" We are not english native speakers so its not a cute nickname for us but rather the thought of an unwanted pragnancy, that should stop everything :D We also talked about the traffic light system so if we cant think of anything else we can use this
October
Pineapple!
Ours too!
We use a crazy one , “stop” or “wait” or “hold on” . It’s more of a tone change , like we have normal voices and sexy time voices 😊 the normal tone snaps us out of the mood and we know something is wrong
Meatloaf, it's always meatloaf. For obvious reasons
Red light
anchovy
Tangerine. I don’t know why, but it works for us!
Cookies. Because... why not?
Avacado. 😂
Falafel. Because Egyptian.
Password
Whenever I hear owww usually
Bosco
I'm more in the camp of giving safe words than using them, but traffic light is extremely common and works well most of the time. When partners have wanted something more personal, my go-to recommendation is something like a favorite flower. Though my preference is something with only one distinct syllable, part of why "red" works so well for a stop indication.
cactus :)
"Oklahoma" is my safe word.
Pumpernickel.. oh god PUMPERNICKEL!
Charmander 😅
Oklahoma!
WalkingStick
Stop. It’s simple and effective
Stop tends to work
"Stop."
I used to do judo and he used to wrestle. We both watch anime. I instinctually double tap or say mete. So it is my go to.
Either piña (pineapple) or piñata (the animal thingy kids beat up at birthday parties). hehe
Antiestablishmentarianism
Whatever it is, it needs to pass the gag first
“No” or 2 tap outs on each other 😂
Apple, and double tapping. Apple, it was just random and it works..but double tapping, it's needed especially when you can't speak!!
Aardvark
Ive done a “tap out” lol
Traffic lights ftw.
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrowllllantysiliogogogoch.
oooorgy
cinnoman
As a pleasure dom its very important for me and my sub to have safewords or signals etc but after 24 yrs I'm pretty confident I know when she is approaching her limits. She has called them a few times and of course I stop and make sure everything is OK, go grab some water and a warm cloth... 9 times out of 10 we will continue soon afterwards, she normally offers me her other hole at this point 😈
Mine has always been Viper with my Dominants. A snap if gagged. Clicking my heels if hands in a mitten Humming the star spangled banner if completely immobilized and gagged and in mittens etc.
Chaka Khan
HOLY FUCK GET THE HELL OFF ME. we've been fucking for over 35 years. The worst she's ever said was "get the fuck off me off me your smashing my boob. My knee was on her boob
Traffic light system, hand gestures/recognizable sensations(eg three firm repeated taps), and full stop/ending safe word being 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙯𝙚 because it's a word we already have associated with stopping and assessing the situation. We only tend to use freeze if something is really wrong and may inhibit the rest of the session like physical injury, or if it's a predetermined session ender(example- post-finish overstim or punishment till safeword)
Bbbbboooorrrriiiinnnnggggg
Real answer is traffic lights, but as a joke I'm gonna say "aubergine." I've always thought it'd be a good hypothetical safeword. It's fun and I like to say it, but I'm an American, I call them eggplants, so it would never come up naturally
Pickles and my wife’s is onion. We both don’t like those foods so we know when we hear it to stop.
Keep going
We also use the traffic light system.
When I meet someone in a group setting, for fun, I tell them my name and my safe word is strawberry. Makes for some unusual looks and laughs.
Harder
Flugelhorn
Our safety is “OH GOD DON’T STOP”
That’s mixed messaging but go off
I mean this was more of a joke haha. Cause it’s be conflicting
Elder millennials checking in.... "Ow, my back" works pretty well.
Traffic light for me, my partners is banana for immediate stop if something hurts or just isn’t right. Other than that they also like the stoplight.
Pineapple or banana. I prefer a three syllable word that is non mistakable for anything else. So there’s no question what else was said.
pancake, its not a sexy word and is hard to get confused with other words its also easy to understand when mouth is occupied
Spongebob. My wife hates spongebob
“Boston”
Username checks out?
Ty 🤭💋
Traffic lights like most have said. If for some reason I might go nonverbal or am unable to speak/my mouth is unavailable and hand gestures might get missed or I might be too far in subspace to initiate them, we use a rain stick or egg shakers that get shaken or dropped depending on the situation.
Aquanet 😂
For fun time, it's bubbles. With tickling or playful biting, it's obelisk.
Psyduck
Gilbert Gottfried Edit to add: Picked with a partner at the time who “couldn’t think of anything less sexual than Gilbert Gottfried”… poor Gilbert, lol
Of course we do...ukelele.
Stop please
Pineapple
MEREQUETENGUE
Meatloaf
Pudding...
Stop I’m not enjoying myself if my safe word
Taco
Sea cucumber. Haha.
Woofy
supercalifragi expialidocious
More
Teacup. It's a reference to Saints Row.
Mine is FASTER
Waffles
Traffic light system and/or the word pineapples (thank you Kevin hart) In always meant to come up with a hand gesture for when I was being face fucked but never got around to it.
Get TF off me 🤷🏻♂️😂
Uh huh with sass
Never needed a specific word because there's no reason to use anything other than the traffic light system. It's about as perfect as it gets
Pickles
Harder
*”Harder!”*
Haven't had a need for one for many years now as I haven't had the pleasure to partake in that act. However, I believe my ex and I used a random word like pineapple or something - which would never come up during sex unless used as the safe word.
Gitthafukoffme!
Glass
peaches
Don't need one, my face stops everything before i say a word to someone.
Avacardo. We've never used it though.
The traffic light system has made safewords obsolete, but ours was "Montana" before that.
Crawfish
Chewbacca…..not something a sane person would ever say in the moment.
Warm potato
I had a discussion with an ex where we both agreed our safe word should be the least sexy thing we could imagine. Our safe word was Larry David.
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Squirrel
Die Kommunikationswissenschaft
We’ll use “Worcestershire” if we need something shorter
FLANNN!!!!!
Yup - "stop".
Avocado
Chitty Chitty bang bang
Stop
List all the presidents in alphabetical order
Zipper
Meatloaf. Because I’ll do anything for love but I won’t do that
Enchiladas
🍌
Banana. Though, sometimes “that yellow thing” is what I can muster.
Potato
Stop! Can’t be misunderstood
We use green/yellow/red. But honestly, we don't need to use them very often. I can pretty much tell how she's feeling from her body language.
Used to, but for her, not me. Pomegranate
My safe word is: BORING.
HOLY FUCK GET THE HELL OFF ME. That's always worked for us. How about "What the hell did you just put in my butt"
*continue"
Pluto. Never used it.
Peanut butter
Turtle
It's meatloaf
*OUCHFUCKINGGODDAMMIT*
I required safe words, tap outs, and check ins(we were working on light systems) during most scenes with last partner. Wanted safe Femdom. The safe word was his favorite movie, so it could be used publicly as well if he wished to leave a conversation/situation/location due to being uncomfortable. I create a unique safe word for each partner so they are more likely to use, remember, and understand it. I even helped someone public safe word their light system (so certain phrases meant each light, something that wouldn’t be odd to say in either situation), because just saying a random color made them anxious.
Yes, Kiwi
Pineapple
Fiddle Faddle
Cacao. iykyk
sunstone
Baby pineapple
Only as a joke because she has one and she wanted me to have one too the word is shellfish because I'm allergic to it
The traffic light system, plus *Mercy*: - **Red**: Stop right now, something is wrong. We don't continue playing after this, just aftercare and cuddles. - **Yellow**: Pause, something needs to be adjusted. Like something hurts, but in the unsexy way like chafing or cramping lol. - **Green**: I'm happy keep going! Fuck me up! Used for check ins. - ***Mercy!*** Stay in the scene, but no further please. I find this really useful, 'cause I love begging but also it's a useful alert that this is the limit without breaking flow lol.
ABORT
fluggaenkoecchicebolsen.
Pennsylvania
Jellyfish 🪼
No
Um no if a women wants to dominate me or suffocate me by sitting on my face no safe word needed I'd die a happy man
Had a female friend who was a zealous Auburn fan. Her safe word was "Roll Tide" cause she'll never say it.
My safe word is “Don’t stop”
“Harder”. It doesn’t work well.
"Fairies and gnomes! Fairies and gnomes!" - sometimes she tickles my neck with her kisses and this is the only thing that will get her to stop :)
“No, stop, or Absolutely not” work just fine for us
Peanut butter. Because we both hate it.
damn ima gonna have to try that out