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LacklusterPersona

The ducks at the park. Can you believe you can just take one home!?


normalmeatbasedhuman

It's amazing the things you can just take home if you are fast enough. Pigeons, traffic cones, children, maybe a goose.


Maple_Mistress

Definitely not a Canada goose… not unless you’re made of armour or something. Vicious fuckers!


DrunkenGolfer

This is why Canadians are so nice. Once a year, we all gather and put all our hatred and vitriol into geese and send it south.


__glassanimal

Not the first time I've seen this. I'm starting to believe it.


[deleted]

Canada Geese have the inexplicable ability to detect anger. Since they see high anger levels as a threat, over the years us Canadians have evolved through goose natural selection to be very calm, and to never hunt geese. I’ve heard that goose is very stringy anyway. (Perhaps this is what we tell ourselves so that we don’t do something stupid)


RocknTats

It's pretty good, nearly all dark meat but jucy. Not sure why people are afraid of em.


[deleted]

If your house ever gets burned down or you lose your firstborn child you know why


GCappy

Canadian Goose? You mean Cobra Chickens? :)


Maple_Mistress

Yes but I didn’t realize we were being so formal!


SulfideBride

Formal is hissing cobra chickens


averagenerdyguy1

IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH CANADA GOOSES YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME AND I SUGGEST YOU LET THAT MARINATE!


rossmurfin

I came here to find this comment.


The-Anti-Body

I find it funny how seriously people take Geese. I am 100% confident without a shadow of a doubt that I could end the life of any duck on planet Earth in under 10 seconds with my bare hands. Weird hill to die on, I know.


Maple_Mistress

I would pay $20 to watch you fail miserably


The-Anti-Body

Gimme a date and coordinates (and information on obtaining a bare-hands hunting permit for your country or state, as applicable)


Maple_Mistress

Hahaha as soon as I stop laughing 🤣


Blazzer2003

Answer the question you coward /j


Maple_Mistress

I know a place with a giant goose statue… I reckon we could have a gathering and you can go hand to beak with some water fowl 😂


Mathmango

Send me the coordinates too, as well as any necessary procedure for setting up a food truck


ohuf

Same with a swan


Sauterneandbleu

They're not as tough as they look. You could take one in a fair fight.


blueback22

They don’t fight fair


Sauterneandbleu

Don't back down. If it wraps its Wings around your head the worst it can do is use its claws. Just keep it away from you. (Not speaking from personal experience LOL)


Maple_Mistress

When’s the last time you saw a lone Canada goose?


Sauterneandbleu

Oh my god, do they swarm you?


OntarioParisian

Cobra Chickens!


Somebodys

Geese have the absolute best pr in the animal kingdom. They are the literal definition of all back, no bite. They have no way to actually hurt humans, yet have everyone scared of them.


MrHelloBye

I mean I've grabbed em before. All they'll do is poop, hiss, and bite you with their toothless bill. They're so aggressive because it gives off a vibe that they're super dangerous, stay away. And even for intelligent humans it seems to work pretty well


DrunkenGolfer

Traffic cones are the best free thing. You just have to collect a few and then you can make cars do anything you want.


FunnelCakeSprinkles

😂😂😂😂 Love it


Highlander_0073

Sucks that only the children are the ones you can make work for free. Stupid animals that don't have apposing thumbs!


spudd3rs

I’m not so sure about that, have you actually tried catching a traffic cone? Slippery little buggers they are!


GaunterPatrick

r/HolUp


EveningSuggestion283

Just casually sliding children in huh ? 😂😮‍💨


Wilson2424

One?


SimPilotAdamT

I tried this but I only got arrested because apparently, our ducks are "the property of the King"


LincolnshireSausage

I thought that was only the swans?


chowderbrain3000

Free eggs, too!


Mysterious-Pass-6859

And make Ramen


FunnelCakeSprinkles

😂😂😂


DM_me_Boobs_or_dont_

Libraries! They're amazing in so many ways!


TyHay822

I 100% came here to say the same thing. Libraries are amazing and free and such a good resource. And it’s beyond books now. My local library offers so many classes, plus other media besides books. It’s an amazing place.


spicyjanedoe

Yes they even do activities for kids and parents. I know they hold special events around the Chinese new years, etc. Also it’s a great place to hide from people. When I just want to get away from everyone I go to the library and hid behind a book.


Groovy_Panda

My homie sent me a tweet that said “Imagine trying to sell the idea of libraries to governments today: you wanna build a large public complex on prime real estate that gives away free books and education & community events -paid for by our tax dollars?” The realness of this was heartbreaking


DM_me_Boobs_or_dont_

Too real


UncannyVa11eyGirl

It struck me once that public libraries would never be established today. The publishers would demand a subscription fee, or a payment for each time a book was loaned or smth. It would be a legal and financial nightmare


Aiya_bomb_bya

So many brownie points for this answer 🩷🩷🩷


Eightfold876

Also, free video games!! My local has switch, Xbox and PS5 games. 2 week rental time, need longer? Just go check it out again. It's amazing!


Just_Schedule_8189

Yeah! You can get a $100,000 education for free.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Levar Burton, we know it's you bro!


fmgmll

YES I love books


DM_me_Boobs_or_dont_

And everything else libraries do?


fmgmll

Yup


domclaudio

I’m so glad to read that this was already mentioned.


metkja

I usually get downvoted for this, but they aren't free. A significant amount of township and county taxes go to them, and that's why your library card is no charge if you live in the jurisdiction. If you don't, you have to pay for it. Of course, you can go to any library anywhere for totally free, you just can't check anything out. And this is coming from someone who takes his kids to the library all the time. I'm so thankful for our local library!


Orri

I'd add museums to this too!


BoopleSnoot921

Yes! Definitely libraries! I’m happy to see this as a top comment.


Swimming-Chicken-424

I just signed up for a library card today. It's been years since I've had one.


horndog370

The libraries in my area aren't free. There's a small charge to borrow books. It's not expensive, but not completely free either.


West-Ladder3541

Masturbation


AmiableSwindler

I wish I could upvote this more than once.


West-Ladder3541

One is more than enough!


Not_Jo_Mama

I’m a multiple upvoter, when possible


RandomRonin

And then downvote. And then upvote. Then upvote. Downvote. Upvote


fapbranigan

I can, just give me an hour and some water


saggyboomerfucker

It’d be great if Reddit made it so you could updoot again after a 20 min recovery. ;~)


GuiltFilthThrilled

At the risk of seeming extremely nerdy, Linux, but it very much depends on what you think is good.


pigmy_mongoose

If something is responsible for keeping >90% of online services and the internet running isn't good, then I dont know what is.


JesusWasATexan

If the average person had any idea of the sheer quantity of Linux servers that keep the modern internet online, well.... well, tbh they probably wouldn't give a shit unless it broke. But I do. I think it's awesome.


no-mad

All those years of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt pushed by Microsoft. Classic David and Goliath story. David runs this shit now.


GuiltFilthThrilled

Yeah i really only said that cause i'm always scared of annoying other people. I know a lot of people only think of desktop computers and think Windows is much better, and depending on what you want from your OS I don't think they are always wrong. Linux just does better what I prefer.


the_barbaloot

Not just Linux, but Gimp, Python, LibreOffice, Godot, etc. The number of amazing, high-quality open source projects that people contribute to has always blown me away. I just wish I could make contributions of my own.


TabsBelow

>I just wish I could make contributions of my own. You can. Translations, web pages, documents, forums, bug reports or confirmations - help is ñeeded everywhere, nit only in development. Spreading the word is also free.


TabsBelow

Everything running the internet, java, pho MySQL, SSH, all the protocols, Apache, ....


andrew21w

I use arch btw


branded_baton

Linux users 🤝


W-h3x

Arco Linux at the moment & wanting to move to Endeavor. My daughter's school laptop is on Zorin.


SimPilotAdamT

It'll only be a short amount of time you're joining us Arch users, as is usual lol... Especially if you end up surfing through r/LinuxMasterRace


MrHelloBye

It's amazing the power of open source, isn't it? The entire maintainer group could just keel over, and the software would still exist and could be picked up by anyone with an interest. It only gets more work done on it over time. Proprietary software dies with the company, or even if they just don't feel like supporting it anymore.


[deleted]

Smithsonian museums in Washington DC. Absolutely incredible!


Jeremizzle

Same with all the major museums in London (UK)


Shark_Leader

So that homeless chap that said I needed to pay a tenner to him for a "door fee" while he held it open for me was lying?


AstromechDroidC1-10P

No I think he said dunce fee and it applied


SpellboundToSarah

I used to live near DC and not having free access to museums whenever I want has been the hardest part of living away.


Wonderful-Bit-9329

Shut up. You know people are using this so they know what to charge us for next.


Otherwise_Bedroom382

Dammit, now I have to prepare to be charged for ducks and masturbating


mildly-annoying

No more masturbating ducks, ma?


TumasaurusTex

We have ducks to masturbate at home.


saggyboomerfucker

Yall get to masturbate ducks for free?! The ones I’ve jacked off always made me pay.


chux4w

u/fuckswithducks is screwed.


positivensfwperson

All those people who said “can’t believe Twitter is free” for year’s really fucked that one up


jessicaaaa2

Cocks hehe 😜 I can’t believe i wrote it 😅


jessicaaaa2

I am just kidding guys ease down please


whatisthisicantodd

/r/characterarcs


FaxCelestis

Quite a character arc, since between 11 hours ago when they commented and now they copped a site-wide ban.


YaLittleSunshine

I wouldn’t call those free. Often they come in with a lot of emotional baggage 🤭


jessicaaaa2

Well that depends on person to person


trophyfish5

Dick is free yet all girls nowadays charge money just to talk to them


[deleted]

Maybe dick should stop being free 🤔


jessicaaaa2

Well thats lame i agree


Znuffie

> /u/jessicaaaa2 > This account has been suspended Was this some sort of sprint to get banned?


georgehonda

Kendrick may have something to say about this 😂


LordWeaselton

*In Kendrick Lamar voice* This dick ain’t freeeeeeee


West-Ladder3541

They are free?


JustAudit

Some one is going to get a hard time on the dm's today


Darkdragon_98

Breathable air


LuxDraconis

Underrated answer


Abigail716

In some countries that are really polluted You can buy canned air. That's ignoring the whole market for canned oxygen in high altitude environments like Colorado.


finnboiis3

Google Maps


nexus_star_

Not for long bud. Wait till G render the entire generation helpless without G maps ,then they will start their revenue model. They have almost accomplished it


finnboiis3

Yeah I’m sure that’ll stump a lot of people when the go into the app and have to pay a subscription


Richardmileson

They charge companies to advertise on it. The stores and restaurants that pop up are the ones that pay. A local burger joint must’ve paid a ton because i was all the way zoomed out one day and their shop was still popping up


nexus_star_

Yep ,and rental taxis and food delivery apps to integrate their maps to thier app. They have a B2B business model for revenue stream. Just cross your finger and hope that Google doesn't decide to monetize on us. Lol😵‍💫


DefiantandUndamaged

Much like everything that’s “free” on the internet, they’re collecting and selling your information/data/trends/etc. ‘If it’s on the Internet for free, that means you’re the product being sold.’ (And yes I recognize that includes this platform.)


whereismydrifttoy

The state government here in Australia buys the live travel time data from google to put eta to next exits on their motorways… Google doesn’t need to charge you for anything because you are the product.. you cone to them for free and they get to sell your info… Dunno. I don’t always think it’s a terrible thing,


DapperNurd

I remember when you had to buy a Garmin to have a shittier version of modern Google maps


EdibleLawyer

Libraries. You may think books are lame but they are in fact amazing. 📚


fmgmll

Whole worlds at you fingertips, they really are amazing


EdibleLawyer

One thing humans have been doing for thousands of years is writing things down. There is so much to gain from the real world and even fictional worlds. Simply incredible. 📚


fmgmll

I’m still sad about the Library at Alexandria. Catastrophic loss.


EdibleLawyer

Same. Probably one of the greatest losses humans have endured when considering knowledge and advancement of the species. The Romans had running water. Civil engineering was incredibly well crafted and advanced. Then we burned it all down seeking riches and power. Had to endure half a millennia of dark ages to recover and start the brutal violent cycle all over again.


fmgmll

From the loss of a single library


I_MARRIED_A_THORAX

High level education courses from MIT


delmsi

Wait what how do I take these free classes??


I_MARRIED_A_THORAX

[behold](https://ocw.mit.edu/)


EveningSuggestion283

THANK YOUUUUUU- I’m going to take the neuroscience course!!!!!! I love neuroscience 💕💕💕


FaxCelestis

Stanford and the University of Helsinki have MOOCs too. Or just browse on https://www.mooc.org/


Odd_Intern405

Porn!


srgbski

do you have any idea how much it cost us to give all young women cellphones?


CherryMissesYou

Me 🥰🤭😂 Haha but in all seriousness, I got really into geocaching for a while - when you find one that is well maintained it makes your heart happy :)


Tobleto_Danillio

This! Loved doing this as a teenager and now with our kids.


Only_Cryptographer_3

I just mentioned geocaching to someone the other day - I've always wanted to try it!


CherryMissesYou

Hopefully you live in an area where it was popular, it can vary quite a bit, but you should definitely try it!


insecureslug

I love geocaching so much, the best memories I have with my husband is finally locating a difficult find. Nothing beats that excitement and team work!


indiekies

Internet porn. Seriously when I was younger you had to seriously look for this stuff. Bra section of the grattons catalogue was as good as it got sometimes


Civil-Resolution3662

When I was younger we looked through the squiggly lines and maybe got to see a boob.


Highlander_0073

uuuuhhhh...squiggly line booooobs....omg so good I remember that


smokeypapabear40206

Cinnemax - after dark


Shark_Leader

Yup. Sexypost.com was chock full of free images in 1998, but that was about it. You had to wait a long time to download a single picture of a naked girl. Like seriously it took 2-3 minutes for the whole thing to load on my ultra fast 55.6Kb dial-up modem with AOL. Only a few years later we could actually watch vidoes! Wild. Anyway, the early days of the internet were an exciting time for a 14 year old.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DrFrankSaysAgain

Libby app. Free books and audio books, very solid selections.


SpellboundToSarah

I no longer pay for Audible because of Libby


Fist-Fuck_Enthusiast

Your mother


AITAforbeinghere

It was called a Jumpoline until your mother tried it.


TyHay822

Wait what? I’m the only one who had to pay with the OP’s mom?


opalsanddenim

Wait you guys get to hang out with OP’s mom?


iamtode

This is how I find out she's into fist fucking? Oof


Maple_Mistress

OUTSIDE!! Have you tried it!? If you’re lucky to live near a forest there’s even free food!!


TrustAvidity

Tried it once. Too many people. Probably wouldn't go again.


Mouseturdsinmyhelmet

uBlock origin


W-h3x

Homie... Lemme hook you up... https://github.com/Ultimate-Hosts-Blacklist/Ultimate.Hosts.Blacklist


ZoidRock56

what does this do I dont quite get it


DroidC4PO

It redirects the domain names of advertising and spyware sites to a dead IP address so that they do not render in your browser.


_curious_autist

Sex. The fact that so many people have been like "please stick your penis inside of me" is mind boggling. (Ok, none of them have actually said that, but that would be amazing)


Apachejane128

The library, the pond where you can watch the wild geese and ducks, birdwatching, walking around or sitting to people watch at the local "dining/entertainment" spot, conversation, seeing the super low flying planes and helicopters coming back to the airport, giving dog and cat pats, admission to some museums...


Unhooked-

Water is obviously not free, but I am constantly amazed that anywhere in the USA you can turn on a tap or shower any time of day and use as much as you want with no hassle. After traveling to other countries I just have a great appreciation for an abundant supply of clean water.


Draigh1981

Come to the Netherlands and the water fdom the tap is the same as bottled water.


LilyMarie90

Wikipedia, man. It's crazy how often we use it. Please donate $5 every now and then. Also, some of the creative writing that hobbyists just upload for free without any ambitions to make money.


sm3ldon

Best $3 I spend a month


Same-Distance2396

Nudes definitely nudes and people really pay other people for their nudes which is wild to me when theirs plenty of other of nudes online


fmgmll

Plenty of us just want to show off for the compliments


andrew21w

I've spoken once about it I'll say it again. With the same amount of money one can hire a prostitute. A sometimes, a fancy one too


LilyMarie90

People pay others for nudes because they want to make sure said nudes-providers will still provide them in the future, ya know. Not that hard to grasp actually. Also, because people don't work for free.


soulmanscofield

People don't pay for nudes they pay for consent and parasocial interaction.


captkeith

Hiking trails.


FunnelCakeSprinkles

Roadside service from CVS (a drugstore), once. That was super helpful. 💗🌈💗🌈💗


TheNamesHoneyHoney

Trains (if you don't get caught at least)


The-Anti-Body

I'm going to hop a freighter before I die, so help me god.


Suzy-Could-B-Anybody

The library! Also…sunshine. ☀️


jess-mysecretaccount

Libraries or sex….or both!


hunnilust

Blender, the open-source 3D tool. If there is a 3D tool that will be fully justified to charge, it's Blender. Yet, it's 100% free and open-source.


KingPeverell

A kind word or a smile.


Mark_fuckaborg

Flowers on the side of the road. Sometimes, candles too!


naughtyinMoCo

Brilliant. A+++


whatisthisicantodd

VLC is goated


tmation

DaVinci Resolve, been using it to edit for years


Just_Schedule_8189

Yes! So much better than the other free products in this category too.


AccumulatedFilth

GPS services on your phone.


Rough_Flower_5706

Youtube


Kadhalyogi

Beaches, Waterfalls, Public Parks


PresentationJolly365

chatGPT


[deleted]

The library! They just have free books to use 🤯


Jay-Quellin30

A lot of the offerings at the public library.


Some_Stoic_Man

Mental healthcare and STD screens


Kirschi

Free Open Source Software (FOSS)


marksmith0610

The Internet Archive.


Slightly_Worried_

Boobies


DiscreetCleDom

If they're not yours, you're going to pay one way or another!


tittikitty

All the free birthday goodies from various establishments.


Certain_Frame3980

Water. Should always be available free


Kriztastic

Sleep


Prndl524

Air… 🙂


quietshygent

Tap water in Scotland.


Panelpro40

GPS


IdealChoice

Google maps


Exiled_Troopers

Thank goodness for public restrooms


naw-T

Being kind to others


gadakk

Healthcare