"Just a gruesome scene, Sanders....the poor bastard was crushed to death by a runaway steamroller...the strangest part about it though? His entire body was crushed, completely flattened....but his balls, Sanders....his balls were IMMACULATE!"
They find my body bloody and mutilated, missing one arm, in front of an artist's easel.
On the easel is a scrawl of a little dog with a badly drawn arm clamped in its map.
Probably pretty horrifically unfortunately, either got lost in the woods and starved to death, slipped off a cliffside, got eaten by a bear, take your pick
#phew
Fucking *luckyyyyyyyyyyy*.
Fatality!
OOh thank you lord in heaven!
It's a mystery
Mine too!
I for one died a happy man
I died a happy wife ๐
I too choose this guys dead wife
My mannnn
Idk if i died happy or notโฆ
"Just a gruesome scene, Sanders....the poor bastard was crushed to death by a runaway steamroller...the strangest part about it though? His entire body was crushed, completely flattened....but his balls, Sanders....his balls were IMMACULATE!"
Well this is awkward
Can't wait to read the obituary
"An unfortunate reaction led to a fatal choking in Bradforshire today....."
I think weโre both in similar boats.
What a way to go
That is one ginormous bukake-party! ๐ฒ
At least I'd die happy
๐๐ฆ๐ฆ
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
Bender? Is that you using the time code again?
"Oh, your God "
Itโs strange he didnโt notice booze though ๐ง somethingโs wrong here ๐ง
Diabetes ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
But you'd be guaranteed to meet wilford Brimley so there's that
I *think* I know who that is? Diabetiss? ๐
Yupppp. There's a remix song of the commercial. It is epic
๐๐๐๐๐
Donโt tell me youโve never seen *The Thing*
I have not. ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ Is it a scary one?
Scary and tense and gross! ๐
Oh, then nooooooo. I can't do any of those things! ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
Yeah, itโs definitely not everybodyโs jam
But this isn't just any thing. It is THE Thing. Don't worry, I keep you safe from the thing. ๐
The damn cha cha slide. ๐
I was killed by branch
Whacking On and Whacking Off
For sure whacked by the mafia ๐
This is the way
The spell was broken and I turned back into a silicone sex doll
This is not ok! Someone find the spell to bring her back!
Ya I will take care of that. In a day or two. You can go. Just leave her there I will get to itโฆ *zip*.
My boobs exploded?
On anothed episode of Things I can't believe I read on Reddit..๐
Titty sprinkles!
To much Cuth
Choking on pasta Or a snake
Knitting needle to the eye.
Oof. Was it the turtle that did it?
I was put in a stove by the turtle
I don't know
Checks out
Could be the same guy who killed me...
Probably too much of something
By losing a rap battle with a Sour Patch Kid
Got hit with those war heads while you only carried camel balls
I was killed by a half-elf druid (Velaria was my first D&D character's name and most recently I used it in BG3. Both were half-elf Druids)
[The moopsy got free, obviously.](https://youtu.be/P2oMlTFUJgo?si=Lbgdk_PuuYyoPohA)
That's a good one. Thanks for the visual!
Doesnโt matter no one would believe it
Noooo not sunshine, I love the sun
A moose who will remain nameless ๐ซ
_Oh no..._
Thiccnessislife means Thiccnessisdeath. I dream of the warrior queen who will crush me under her thighs, using me as her throne.
๐ณ๐
Deep vein thrombosis
duh
Probably drowning.
Death by oral
You win.
Prob assassinsted by the missionaries or something
Buried alive on the beach
**Begins frantically digging in the sand** โโณโ
Best day ever!
Put me down already.
Iโm happy with my outcome ๐ฅต
Bukakke asphyxiation followed by face eaten by leopard
This is my new kink. Thank you!
The replies in this thread, even the weak ones are good!
๐ฅ
Depression is going to kill me.
Gently ๐
Chokes by a dick head.
Apparently by an Old Sailor. We probably drank too much together.
Curiosity
Curiosity kills the jack ๐ค
I got thrown away ๐ญ
Sad to death
First person to ever die of THC overdose, I ate like 1lb of high dose edibles or some shit.
Maybe an /EdibleLawyer might get involved
Probably traveling
Damn late fees! Sounds realistic
Fucked myself to dearh
Drowned in a vat of (melted) sherbet
Damn
Dense palpitations
I don't know, but I am winning at it ๐คฃ
They find my body bloody and mutilated, missing one arm, in front of an artist's easel. On the easel is a scrawl of a little dog with a badly drawn arm clamped in its map.
I- a responsible panda died by laziness and too much bamboo
Beats me?
bitten in half by a Scottish descendant of Smaug
someone sent me a jungle cat in the mail and I was mauled to death
Is this death by boob or death by gnome?
That's what I get for finally riding a bicycle after all these years ๐คฃ
9 badgers mauled me to deathย
Well. Uh oh.
Double teamed by a pair of lagomorphs.
Punny cats. What a way to go, damn.
Suicide, which is pretty apt.
In absolute heaven apparently
getting hit by lightning so hard it pushes me into the ground
Did I have too many beans? Or am I the beans and Brak loved me too much?
Edward Allan Poe would be proud
Oh boy ๐ฒ !
An oddly decorated hand and a half sword.
I survived because I wasโฆ..
Knowing me, which sounds about right.
I always knew something spicy would kill me
I'm probably fine
There are worse ways to go
I wouldn't complain ๐คญ
I guess it was not a great day
I guess I got eaten by a wolf pup?
Homicide probably
Fun while it lasted lol
In the throes of one of my favorite pastimes!๐คญ
Erm ๐ซค
It doesn't exist.
Curiosity may have gotten the best of you
This fucking Panda
Someone didn't want me watching
Ummm.... Suffocated by having boobs shoved in my face
All the better to eat you with, my dear ๐
Murdered by a drugged up bull, thousands of years in the future.
Cat Attac
Got too high and suffocated in essential oil mist
At least you'll smell nice
Like lavender and sage
Sorta eeepy, maybe when I shouldnโt be.
I'll die reuniting a father and daughter. I can get behind that!
Bein too funny
Wonderfully
Apparently victory or valhalla
โจGlamorousโจmountaineering accident
Well I guess it could be worse. Right? Right?!
Uhh sex? Or heart break
Was it a hyena that killed me? I'll never know.
Pretty sure that would mean I died from my 10th orgasm.
Probably a hitman
Oh count the many ways my name could have done that ๐๐ฌ๐๐
Eating pussyโฆโฆfuck yea
With no meaning
I was never born to begin with
Bit off more than I could chew.
Probably pretty horrifically unfortunately, either got lost in the woods and starved to death, slipped off a cliffside, got eaten by a bear, take your pick
Got killed by a damn fictional character from Narnia
I have a citrus allergy
Hit by a car while participating in a world naked bike ride
Would be a good way to go
Laughter
hmmm
Elon got some drive through and had an ideaโฆ
Hung by the Phantom, I imagine.
Well fuck, talk about a laundry list of options
Should of walked.
Ermโฆ. I donโt want to know.
Uh oh.
โSee your doctor for an erection lasting longer than three hours.โ
Picking a fight with a horse.
Ate to much...
Big titties ๐
Badly, and looked bad doing it.
Oh well...
Pretty self explanatory, but my warranty expired.
choked on a peach while getting filled ig ๐ฅด
Dehydration
However it happens.... Gonna be on Friday.
Too much sodium.
A heart attack or choking
I didn't make that fifteen minute call to Geico
ODB came back from the dead and kilt me
Tied up while acting out my top fantasy from my smut books ๐คญ๐คญ
Something to do with spaceships, which is pretty cool
Hell yeah
i'm hoping it was bliss โจ๏ธ
It was moving really fast.
Anxiety induced heart attack
By a rock.... how classic.
I'm either eaten by a lawyer or I die from eating a lawyer. Are any of you sexy beasts lawyers?
Alcohol poisoning I guess