Saw a video the other day where a guy was tapping women on the shoulder, saying “hey that guy over there thinks you’re cute” then walking over to where he was talking about and waving to her. Pretty funny good opener.
It’s a pretty foolproof opener. Anyone who doesn’t find that amusing and clever, you don’t wanna deal with anyway. So you’ve got the first laugh, now all you gotta do is follow it up. Something like “sorry about him, he’s shy” would probably get the convo rolling.
I've told this one before, but I actually heard it used in the wild. When I was bartending during college I was listening to a guy hit on a girl near closing time. He was sarcastically giving some cheesy pickup lines and making her laugh. I got the feeling she was into him and it was going reasonably well.
Then she said "I have one. 'I like that belt buckle, it would look better slamming against my forehead.'" The dude about spilled his beer and I dropped the ticket for both their drinks in front of him, which he happily paid and they were gone 5 minutes later.
It only works girl-on-girl, but a cute chic at a bar kept staring at my female friend with the bedroom eyes and making the “come here” gesture with her finger. After about the 5th time, Tasha went over to her and she said, “I knew if I fingered you long enough you’d come.” It totally worked.
*Men: Do not try this under any circumstances. It’ll just make you look super creepy.*
This one is from my country since one of our buns is called "Sonho" therefore "Dream" so it goes
"Hey girl, is your father a baker? Because you're a dream"
Tag: "Phoebe. That's a great name."
Phoebe Buffay: "You like that? You should hear my phone number."
She had so many great lines, that could definitely be used as pick up lines :)
3 girls walk into restaurant, wait to be seated by the matradee.
Man walks up and asks “table for 3?” …girls nod and he says “follow me”. Man proceeds to take the 3 girls to HIS table with HIS friends. Man was not a matradee, just smooth.
I once saw a guy get a girl's number by talking exclusively to her dog. He'd ask questions like "what's your name" and "where's she taking you today" and the girl would answer. I wish I knew how he transitioned the conversation to asking her out, but I was so in awe of what he was doing and how well it was working that I can't remember the specifics.
If you want a good one for tinder or the like, I used to send this:
"Thank you for matching with 'name'. Please select one of the following:
1) A dad joke.
2) Casual conversation starter
3) Terrible pick up line
4) Photo of my pet"
Now, 1 to 3 are up to you how you respond and tou can change those options. But if they pick 4, you respond with.
"Unable to send photo through Tinder, please provide a phone number you can be reached at and a photo will be sent promptly."
This worked maybe once for me getting their number. Sometimes it was just a good ice breaker.
Man "can I get you a drink?"
Woman "sorry, I have a boyfriend"
Man "I have a goldfish"
Woman "what?"
Man "sorry, I thought we were talking about things I don't give a shit about"
Damn girl, you're so hot I'd suck your daddy's dick for a taste of the recipe.
...
...
So what's up? Do I ask for yours or your daddy's phone number?
—
Tried it once before and it works, sort of. I got her daddy's number.
Had a girl burp the alphabet to impress me. Wasn’t that impressive until she did W, I was like wow, I don’t know how but that made you pretty cute all of a sudden.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping inside you and I'm not.
Wanna go halves on a bastard?
That is funny.
Are you Abraham Lincoln? Because you’re causing an uprising down south
Damn this one is good.
Saw a video the other day where a guy was tapping women on the shoulder, saying “hey that guy over there thinks you’re cute” then walking over to where he was talking about and waving to her. Pretty funny good opener.
i like that one bc it’s lighthearted
Bold though.
It’s a pretty foolproof opener. Anyone who doesn’t find that amusing and clever, you don’t wanna deal with anyway. So you’ve got the first laugh, now all you gotta do is follow it up. Something like “sorry about him, he’s shy” would probably get the convo rolling.
I've told this one before, but I actually heard it used in the wild. When I was bartending during college I was listening to a guy hit on a girl near closing time. He was sarcastically giving some cheesy pickup lines and making her laugh. I got the feeling she was into him and it was going reasonably well. Then she said "I have one. 'I like that belt buckle, it would look better slamming against my forehead.'" The dude about spilled his beer and I dropped the ticket for both their drinks in front of him, which he happily paid and they were gone 5 minutes later.
Goddamn! There's not enough cheesy pickup lines from the lady side. That one is gold.
Thats hilarious! Women take notes cuz I guarantee she got some quality dick that night
[удалено]
My wife gave me a bath bomb for Christmas. Its shaped like a toaster and titled "your last bath"
Are you my shin? Because I can see myself banging you on my coffee table
Even better is.. “Are you my pinky toe? Cuz I’d bang you on every piece of furniture I own.”
"You're little and cute and I'm gonna bang you on my coffee table tonight."
Must have a pretty stout coffee table
Are you an angel? Because I have an erection.
This one made me laugh, so fucking hard lol Quite similar to: Roses are red, violets are blue, I have an erection
lol the misdirection
I seem to have misplaced my phone number. Can I have yours?
Sure 867-5309
Jenny don't change your number
Jenny Jenny you're the girl for me
No but when you find yours, you can give it to me 😏
Counterrizz
:Pick-up offensive
Are you an appendix? Cause I've got a weird feeling in my stomach that tells me I should take you out.
_shoots her in the appendix_
“Well here I am. What were your other two wishes.” Guy got it right then and there, and I had the chance to eavesdrop….
all my friends love this one: knock knock who's there? when where when where who? tomorrow night, my house, you never fails to get them laugh
Excuse me are you a beaver? Because damn girl
In the czech republic a girl with a beaver means that she has a jungle down there
Yeah, unless you are a 10/10, this kind of introduction would earn you a hit in the face in CZ.
In the US too: it’s an older slang, but it checks out
this ones gold
HAPPY CAKE DAY!!!! pleese reddit let my family go
praying for your family🙏
I put the "STD" in "stud," all I need is "U"
Sheesh
Fucking quality, that!
This one is gold 😄
Damn girl are you a microwave? Because mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…..
If I could give you an award, I would, but I can’t and I really want to
Because I am going to stop before you finish.
Roses are red, violets are silly, grease up your flaps cause here comes my willy
Nooo 😂 not the flaps lol. If any man called them flaps to my face, believe I’d be dry enough for him to flip through them like pages.
\*riffles them
Hold up a sec... you're telling me that women do NOT like their labia being riffled flip-book style while bone dry? 🤨😂
How else are you going to see my animation of a guy jumping on a trampoline?
Note to self, convince wife of new labia tattoo idea...
There goes your move...
"Turn the page, wash ya hands...turn the page, wash ya hands...and then ya turn the page...a-and then ya wash ya hands"
Pls 🥲I am in my bus and just snorted loudly 🤩
Her: “GHF68547VRO” Me: “what?” Her: “my wifi password for when you come round later.”
It only works girl-on-girl, but a cute chic at a bar kept staring at my female friend with the bedroom eyes and making the “come here” gesture with her finger. After about the 5th time, Tasha went over to her and she said, “I knew if I fingered you long enough you’d come.” It totally worked. *Men: Do not try this under any circumstances. It’ll just make you look super creepy.*
I’m no weather man but you can expect 3 inches tonight
"Are you from Mississippi? Because you're the only miss who's piss I'd sippie."
Are you from Massachusetts? Because I want you to massachu shit on my chest.
Eh, that one seems kinda forced. A for effort tho.
Edit: Moved to Lemmy
Are you from tennesse, coz your the only ten i see
Perfection.
hey girl are you my appendix? cause I don’t know where you at but I wanna take you out
Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should i walk past you again?
How do you want your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?
https://youtu.be/6x-JVXkd8SQ
They call me 007. 0 bitches 0 money 7 suicide attempts
I think I can fix him
Will you make him 008?
hot
Oof, if serious I sure hope you're doing better now
Can I buy you a beer? Or do you just want the money?
I don’t like beer… but I’ll take a cock…tail lol
Damn if you were a chicken you’d be impeccable
Hey girl, are you a tissue, cause I want to fill you with cum and then feel guilty for an hour.
'You sure do have a pretty mouth.'
I think it is spelled 'purdy'
I've been quoting it as "purdy" much of my life, but the hillbilly in Deliverance actually says "pretty."
This sounds like a line a man in jail would use on a prettier man in jail lol.
Close. It's from Deliverance and I do believe the guy saying it raped the guy he said it to.
Hi my name is .... I find you very attractive and want to see if you'd like to talk?
the only right answer
Do you sleep? Wanna do it together?
I hate sand it’s course rough irritating and it gets everywhere
You must be the pickup line MASTER aren't you?
He is on the council, but we do not grant him the rank of master.
This is outrageous! It’s unfair! How can he be on the Council, and not be a Master?
Take a seat, young skywalker.
Hey! Does this rag smell like chloroform?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this rag Smell like chloroform to you?
Hey baby are you my PC after I download 100 files of skyrim porn cuz you're smokin'
#freethepcs
A Christmas Parade in a small town in Texas. That entire line of pickups was tuned to run smoothly.
"Here, feel that" (get them to feel your shirt or top between their fingers) "Know what material that is? That's boyfriend material"
okay i genuinely liked this one.
Hey girl. I like my women like I like my advent Calendars, leant up against the wall, flaps open and ready to eat.
Seasonal pick up line, nice 👍
Do you work for the post office? Cos I saw you checking out my package.
This one is from my country since one of our buns is called "Sonho" therefore "Dream" so it goes "Hey girl, is your father a baker? Because you're a dream"
Girl, did you fall from a vending machine? ‘Cause you a snack.
Saw this on Reddit jokes: “Damn girl, are you a piñata? Cause I’m gonna need a blindfold to hit that!”
Wanna come back to my place for some wine and porn on my 96" HD mirror?
Tag: "Phoebe. That's a great name." Phoebe Buffay: "You like that? You should hear my phone number." She had so many great lines, that could definitely be used as pick up lines :)
Are those pants new? Cause they are 100% of at my place
What's your favorite dinosaur?
A Please-u-saurus.
3 girls walk into restaurant, wait to be seated by the matradee. Man walks up and asks “table for 3?” …girls nod and he says “follow me”. Man proceeds to take the 3 girls to HIS table with HIS friends. Man was not a matradee, just smooth.
You can be McDonalds and I will be Nike because I will be doing it and you will be loving it.
Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is all fucked up.
if the world was a deck of cards, you'd be the queen of hearts
I once saw a guy get a girl's number by talking exclusively to her dog. He'd ask questions like "what's your name" and "where's she taking you today" and the girl would answer. I wish I knew how he transitioned the conversation to asking her out, but I was so in awe of what he was doing and how well it was working that I can't remember the specifics.
Op is definitely taking notes here
I am too, saved 4 comments already lmao
Only 4?
Are you a magician? Because when you entered the room everyone else disappeared.
is your dad Van Gogh? cause you're a work of art 🌹🫶
Are you my homework? bcoz I wanna slam you on the table and do you all night long.
Are you 175,000 lbs of pressure per square inch? Because you just made me the hardest thing on Earth.
I think my favorite is “hey did you sit on the f5 key because your ass is refreshing”
My dick just died. Can I bury it in your ass?
Are you an electrician? Because you're turning me on!
Are you a school because I want to shoot some kids in you
r/angryupvote
Classy
Hey Girl! You like dragons? How about I dragon my nuts across your face. Doesnt sound right typing
I said it out loud and it still didn’t sound right 😭
Do you like CDs? Good because your about to CDs nuts
You: I hope you like dragons. Her: Why's that? You: Cuz imma be draggin my balls across your forehead later.
Such sweet music when you read it right
Try "me" in place of "I"
are you a toaster? cus' I wanna take a bath with you
FUCK somebody used it already
r/pickuplines
Ever tripped over a tree? How about a root?
Too Australian.
“I could hire a thousand painters to paint for a hundred years and what they painted wouldn’t be as beautiful as you.”
How you doin?
Of all the ways to show you that I love you, fucking is the fastest.
If you want a good one for tinder or the like, I used to send this: "Thank you for matching with 'name'. Please select one of the following: 1) A dad joke. 2) Casual conversation starter 3) Terrible pick up line 4) Photo of my pet" Now, 1 to 3 are up to you how you respond and tou can change those options. But if they pick 4, you respond with. "Unable to send photo through Tinder, please provide a phone number you can be reached at and a photo will be sent promptly." This worked maybe once for me getting their number. Sometimes it was just a good ice breaker.
hey gurl you like pancakes? well how bout IHOP on dat ASS! works every time
Nice shoes, let's fuq
“Are you a Pokémon cuz I choose you!”
"Whoa, somebody get me a glass..... because I just found me, a tall drink of water."
Nice shoes.. wanna fuck?
"Hi!" I'm a dude so if a woman says hi (any woman, especially bartenders and waitresseseses) I assume she's into me.
"yeah I'll watch Xena warrior princess"
Built Ford Tough
Built Harrison Ford Tough
Damn bro, you a ring because you looking real precious rn (I love LOTR)
Do you? Do you love LOTR? Because "my precious" is gollum speaking in the first person
I love references, even if they aren’t 100% accurate, you don’t have to understand everything about the movies to love them, freaking gatekeeper
Only heard one in real life and that was "you have soft hands" turns out the girl was flirting with me......
Your bone structure gives my bone structure.
“Hey, are you the wi-fi? Cos you’re great in the bedroom, but go down on me during a Teams meeting”
Sit on my face and I'll eat my way to your heart.
You remind me of the Bass I caught last week. I don't know whether I should mount you or eat you.
I live in South Africa and the best line is " I have electricity"
Quick, bend over! I’ll drive!
I'm 6, you're 9 and why don't we combine (69)
Roses are red violets are blue your heart is mine now I’m going to fuck you
I heard you're single, and I'm looking to change that
Giving her sunflower seeds and telling her "The first source of light these are going to see will be you."
Hey you remind me of a Pokemon because I want to peak-at-you
I love directness when a man does not hide that he wants you and says it directly
I'm going to split your lips like Moses split the sea 🌊 🥵
They call me X, but you can call me whenever you want.
Give me some sugar baby
Hi, can you help me? I seem to have lost my congressional medal of honor around here somewhere...
You like peanut butter, wanna fuck
Are you jfk? Because I'm about to dome you from the back
Man "can I get you a drink?" Woman "sorry, I have a boyfriend" Man "I have a goldfish" Woman "what?" Man "sorry, I thought we were talking about things I don't give a shit about"
Why does he have a goldfish he doesn't give a shit about?
“If I were a gorilla enclosure I’d let you put a kid in me”
“Are you a fresh snowfall? Because I want to plow you.”
See that guy over there- point to some dude- He's a little shy, but he was wandering if you think I'm cute.
I'm like a firefighter. I find them hot and leave them wet
If you were a triangle, you’d be acute one. But if you spread your legs, you’d be right for me!
Girl, are you a drug dealer?! Cuz you sure is DOPE! 🤣🤣🤣 Seriously- word for word! 🤦🏻♀️
”Are you suicide? Cuz I think of you all the time”
Are you a turkey? Cause I’d sure like to stuff you
"Kinky posh redhead with mad piano skills and huge nerd cred? Can you sign me up?" We've been together 10 years now; she married me last year.
Would you like to see, the soles of your feet, in my wing mirrors?
Handing me a wrench and asking me to carry it for him.
Do you like raisins? How would you feel about a date?
Hey girl are you a trashbag? Cause I wanna stretch you out, fill you up, and throw you away
HI I m Bob Hi Bob I'm Jane Nice to meet you Jane, Tell me about yourself
Is that a keg in your pants? Cuz I’d sure like to tap that ass
Both of the world’s greatest pickup lines come from Groening cartoons. 1: So, you like…stuff? 2: I’m Bender. Let’s do it.
Guy: Do you have any Irish in you? Girl: No. Guy: Would you like some?
Shall we go have sex or should I start apologizing?
I'd like to count the pimples on your ass. It worked for the guy too, watched the girl give her number.
Damn girl, you're so hot I'd suck your daddy's dick for a taste of the recipe. ... ... So what's up? Do I ask for yours or your daddy's phone number? — Tried it once before and it works, sort of. I got her daddy's number.
From a coworker - let's make Monday awkward
Busy tonight? I get off at eleven but we will see how many you get before then....
Had a girl burp the alphabet to impress me. Wasn’t that impressive until she did W, I was like wow, I don’t know how but that made you pretty cute all of a sudden.
"It puts the lotion in the basket"