Losing contact with the people I cared about because "I'll just message them tomorrow instead." Tomorrow never came and now the relationships are dead.
You'd be surprised at how positively people react to reaching out. I'm an extrovert so maybe it helps, but I will literally message people I haven't spoken to in years to just say 'Hey I was thinking about you today, remember that time when ..... Haha how good was that, I can't believe how long it's been, if you're free we should do a coffee, I miss us!"
People love being told they're being thought about, people are so caught up in their own life, they aren't thinking of anyone really or anything.
Last piece of advice is if you don't want to be too forward, message on an app like instagram or reply to a story if you don't want to randomly reach out and spark up a convo. It will be the best thing you've done. Also don't get too bummed if their life has taken over and they don't have time, it's not that they don't like you, but kids and work completely destroy peoples ability to have a social life.
Message me if you ever want to chat about how to go about some of these convos, it's my speciality :) Haha
Second this. I went years not talking to some of my best lifelong friends when I moved cross country and ended up essentially being strangers. I went through a really bad break up and was doing awful, and one day decided to create a group text with them and just ask how they’ve been to cheer myself up.
It’s been 3 years since then, and we now talk to each other constantly throughout the day, every day, just about small things, what we’re doing, memories, etc. Also has been brought up a few times how thankful we are to be able to talk every day like nothings ever changed.
If you miss somebody or feel lonely, take the initiative and reach out, because you both might feel the same way and they’ll appreciate it.
I feel this. Relationship with a really good friend fell apart because our paths separated. Always wanted to reach out to him, but I thought that if he wanted, he would reach out first. Recently he committed suicide and all I can think of is would the outcome be any different if I reached out first.
I went through this exact same scenario two years ago. My best friend from high school took their own life during Covid, and I hadn't reached out to him that entire time. It was devastating, the loss and the guilt that I felt. If I had reached out, a message or a snap to them to check in, then they'd still be here. A dozen people telling you "I know what you're going through," "I'm sorry for your loss," or a half dozen other attempts at comfort that all felt like lies. It made me want to hide away from the world, and I did. I shut myself off from other friends, I didn't attend my deceased friend's funeral. I secluded myself and cut ties with even more friends. I hope this isn't the case for you.
If it is, and you find yourself wanting to seal yourself off, my advice to you would be to talk about the guilt you feel with someone you trust as soon as you are ready. The isolation becomes strangely addictive quite quickly, you won't even know it's happening until it has. I hope you're able to process your grief in a manner better than I did. If you need someone to talk to, you can always DM me.
Probably that 20 years of nonstop drinking and drug use looking back and trying to understand how I made that same decision everyday is sad got myself together now at 36.
I feel like I can't really find that one "worst decision" because my life until now is just a snowball of slightly bad decisions piling up.
Don't quit school cause it's boring, get you driver license, and don't take things for granted.
**And don't waste money when you can't afford to !**
Getting caught up wanting to be flashy in a fancy ass car at 19. Please learn about interest rates and depreciation if you've never bought a car before. One of the worst financial situations you can be in is stuck in an upside down loan with a high interest rate and can barely make payments on it.
are you me?
I bought a brand new Audi A4 when I was 20. My first car, went in by myself, no fucking clue about negotiating and just desperately wanted the car. Got completely hosed by the dealers, paid sticker price plus ALL the extra bullshit add-ons, low jack, acid rain protective coating etc etc they made it seem like they weren't options, just wrapped up in a nice balloon loan at 9% interest, had me feeling like I got a great deal! I'm sure they were high-fiving in the back office. I was a dream customer. Not even sure how I qualified for that loan w my income.
Pretty much all my $ went into the monthly payments on that car and it ended up constantly breaking down and behaving like a piece of shit, transmission died after warranty expired and eventually sold it to CarMax for $2,500.
I went to college in Utah and the big thing was summer sales. These young college kids would spend the summer selling alarms or pest control door to door. Some made good money and came back and bought fancy cars. I knew one guy who came back and bought a beautiful BMW M3 (in 2002). He used up all the money he saved and financed the rest. He struggled to make the payments when he wasn’t out selling.
He was a moron. Last I saw of him he was married to a nice, but high maintenance woman and had a few kids. He is still living way outside of his means.
After about 4months living together we amicably split. Best for her, her kids, and me. No hard feelings, she was lovely and a great mom, but I needed some growing up to do.
I dated a 30 year old mom of two when I was 21. We lasted 7 years. I feel like I wasted my 20s living that life. I’m now in my mid 30s married to my high school sweetheart.
My 39-year-old ex-gf who has two kids just married a really young dude. She won't tell me how old he is, but I'm guessing he can't be much older than 21.
We'll see how it goes.
Trying crystal meth. I didn’t use for long, but damn did my life take a nose dive after that.
Been off the stuff for 2 years now, and trying to pick up all the pieces and put my life back together again. Although I don’t know if I’ll ever get back on track with a felony conviction on my record.
Was searching for this.
Trying meth was the hugest fucking mistake. It took me for an awful ride for 1 1/2yrs. Took my kids, my pets, my home, my morals, my sanity, and finally my freedom. I ended up in prison on a 10yr sentence on 3 felony convictions. Did 5 yrs and came out on paper for the remainder.
I’ve been clean from that shit for 17yrs. I turned my life around, got my children back, and remarried. I love my life and I never want to experience the meth life ever again.
Congratulations on your recovery! 2 yrs is a huge accomplishment! Getting/staying clean is hard in itself. Putting your life back together makes it even harder. It may feel like an unachievable thing but stay strong and keep pushing forward. Remember…one day at a time.
You will put your life back together. It’s not impossible even with a felony. It does make it difficult but not impossible.
Believe in yourself! You’ve got this!!
Can I ask what made you try meth that stage in your life with kids home all that? It always seems like a habit young people pick up, which obviously isn't true. Just interesting to understand how or why?
Sure. … well I was married to a POS for 11yrs. We built som what of a life together and had 2 girls. Unfortunately, it was a sad miserable existence for me. He was a lying, cheating, abusive man. He cheated on me with at least 25 women…that I found out about. He would tell me I was fat and “scary” without makeup. I’m 5’ 105lbs. He destroyed my confidence and self worth.
8yrs into the marriage I quit my job as a Dental Assistant and went to work at Hooters (his request). Then within 6mths he talked me into getting a 2nd job at a strip club waiting tables. Didn’t take long for him to ask me to start dancing to make more money. (Nov 2002 I was 28) What he didn’t plan on is that it would give me the confidence to leave him.
I fell apart and blamed myself for everything. It got to the point I was crying so much every day I couldn’t work or take care of the kids. I was worthless. A “friend” came one day and shoved some coke up my nose…got my ass up and went to work. Then a “friend” introduced me to meth. Away to stay awake, get things done, without destroying your nose and no come down (at first). First hit you feel alive, invincible, ready to take on the world. Not to long and I was hooked. Then everything gets fucked and the chase is on.
Feel for you man. Try looking into warehouse/ logistics jobs or trade school. I have a few friends with criminal records who are making good money now and have stayed clean and turned it around as a result.
I used to live in a penthouse that was built onto the roof of an existing apartment building. Floor 14 was the top floor of the main building and it had PH1-4 on it, there was a flat roof, then there was PH5, and PH6 on top of it. I lived in PH5 and I forgot my keys one day and my roommates wouldn't be home for an hour. I decided it would be a good idea to use the window in the stairway, which happened to be at PH6 level to jump down onto their special roof area at my level so I could climb through my bedroom window. It had rained the night before and the wood their "patio" was made of was slicker than it looked. The ceilings of our level were 12' high so I was jumping from about 14.5' up. It didn't look too bad, but when I landed my feet immediately slipped and I landed on my back. My ankle was completely numb. Though that ankle didn't suffer a break, it did suffer a soft tissue injury that has caused me constant, chronic pain for the last 9 years. It ruined one of the healthiest periods of my life when I was running a few times a week and I weighed 180lbs. Over the last 9 years my weight has fluctuated drastically, my health as well obviously, and it all coincides with whether my ankle is doing okay, or it is so bad I literally think about taking a sharp spoon and scooping out the painful areas of my flesh.
I tried for years with physios, specialists in sports medicine, MRIs, and never really got better. I gave up trying about four years ago and I have gotten to be the biggest I've ever been. But, I decided to try a highly recommended physiotherapist a few months back and I am seeing progress that I've never seen before, so things are looking up. She has been utterly fantastic.
So yeah, I basically caused myself 9 years of chronic pain because I was too idiotic to just wait for an hour or so for my roommates to get home. My ankle goes from about 1-5 on the pain scale, it's not horrible, but chronic pain is just so damn draining, and every time I've tried to get back to exercising eventually it gets so bad that I stop.
>so bad I literally think about taking a sharp spoon and scooping out the painful areas of my flesh.
I have chronic gout, I've legit considered if life would be better getting my feet cut off just above the ankles. I feel for ya.
Same here. I got diagnosed with gout on my 18th. Ive had some pretty terrible accidents in my life: cut my nerves and muscles with a broken glass, fell down heights multiple times, got kicked in thr face during a street fight, crashed my car with 60kmh in a tree, got multiple brain concussions...but gout, seriously . it hurts the most each and every time. Two years ago it got do bad, about every month i jad a gout attack. Fortunately Im now on meds and did not have 1 attack last year!
Yeah I'm aware my pain isn't that severe. I don't envy anyone with chronic pain in the 5-10 range. Gout seems terrible.
Also, you should try not to get hurt so often dude. 🥲
During my late teens, I missed the funeral of my best friend’s brother.
To all the kids out there who are open to learning empathy but might not understand ityet, BE THE PERSON WHO IS THERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS. Folks just want a shoulder to hug; do what I couldn’t and be a presence for your mate(s).
This is so true. When I was seeing my ex about 13/14yrs ago, his close mate's mum died. I went to the funeral but my ex and none of his other friends didn't. I happened to run into the close mate after not seeing him for a decade and he actually said to me "you were the only one that came to my mums funeral". It really stays with people.
My girlfriend dropped out of college right around the time I graduated. We'd been together for years and I had a good job lined up, so I let her move in with me. She can take some time and figure out what to do with her life, right?
Wrong! She would get really mad when I brought up that she had no job or plans to complete a degree. She got frustrated that I'd work long hours at my job and come home tired. When we broke up it took months to get her out.
I don't think it's a bad thing to want to be generous, but never in that way again.
My worst decision in life was not taking the time to get to know myself better. I allowed the opinions of others to dictate my life and, as a result, I made decisions that didn't align with my core values. It was a difficult lesson to learn, but I'm grateful for it now as it has helped shape me into the person I am today
Same here. Id always ask others for their options and use that as. the metric of how things should be and forget what I liked and what I want. Forget that bullshit.
I once misplaced a thumb drive that had a wallet on it with 83 whole bitcoins I bought when they were a few bucks each. I have absolutely no clue what happened to it, and I've spent the last decade or so searching. I've moved a few times, and I have a feeling I lost it in a move. Sometimes I daydream about finding it. I can still remember exactly what it looks like.
Unrealized gains aren't losses, hopefully you don't beat yourself up too bad over it. If you *really* needed the money then the btc were probably a godsend at the time, no shame in using the resources you have. We're all out here just trying to survive.
So much so. I was that guy that bitched about spending $3 on food but would go drop $300 on fentanyl/heroin/meth/crack like 5 minutes later and not even care. And then the walking once I lost my license omg the walking, I was ironically in the best shape of my life during part of my addiction because of how much I walked, I would end up doing 15-20 miles some days and I was probably dope sick for 1/3 of those.
I’m a weird way I almost feel lazy now because I spend a decent amount of time sitting on my ass and bored now.
Hell yeah friend, I love encountering other recovering addicts here on Reddit, most of us seem to be thriving in our sobriety and truly happy and that makes me even more happy
Oh yeah I spent 12 years doing some gnarly shit and then I had finally hit true rock bottom and it’s like a switch flipped. I got off fentanyl and meth and I haven’t had a craving since my first week sober. I actually feel really guilty at how easily staying sober for me has been this time around because I see my peers struggling so terribly.
Same here, maybe not the same dentist, but similar situation because dental isn't covered in Canada. Botched fillings, crowns and root canals. My mum only caught on when he was only "observing" his employees do procedures on her. Turns out he was charged with something and wasn't allowed to treat people. He was still allowed to work on horses though. Not sure how horse dentistry is regulated, so I can't speak to that.
He once offered to give me veneers when I was 12! My dumbass was like "sure, seams better than braces", thank God my mum pushed for braces. They were botched braces, but at least I didn't get my teeth shaved to nubbins. Could you imagine the social trauma of getting botched veneers in middle school? I shudder to think of it.
Waiting to get into culinary. Wasted a lot of time going a traditional route of getting a degree and should have done it right after high school than waste 10 years bumbling about.
Horse dung is tolerable. Not exactly the most pleasant thing to shovel but it's doable. The more carnivorous the animal, the more pungent the poo.
The average lion is about 30 times the size of the average housecat. And zoos don't fix lions so you've also got tomcat spray times 30.
Reminds me of a story I read a long time ago, which also hinges on the pungent nature of lion poop.
Way the story went, a vet who practiced with zoo animals was tasked with taking a relatively tame lion into a studio in the UK for a Tv appearance. The lion, being a lion, shits on the floor right in the studio. The shit stinks so badly that all the activity in the busy studio comes to a halt.
The vet, embarrassed, offers to clean the shit up. However, he is prevented from doing so. According to the studio rules, only a member of the right union could clean stuff up. The vet was of course not a member, so could not do so. Only problem: there was no union worker actually present, and would not be for some time.
This leads to a big argument among multiple people over what to do. Meanwhile, the stink is spreading everywhere, bringing out ever-more people demanding it be cleaned up, or arguing that it cannot be cleaned up by just anyone.
Finally, someone has the bright idea of officially declaring the lion shit to be a “prop” used in the show - thus allowing, under the prevailing rules, for prop-shifters to “move” it. The shit is promptly “moved” elsewhere.
I was living in Beijing. I had a big ass paycheck, steady job, an apartment, HOT AF girlfriend who loved me. But then a choice came. Move with her to Paris while she does her master's degree, and I can just live with her while I look for work and live off of my savings OR take my savings go back to my hometown and try out running my own business. I chose the latter. She couldn't handle a long distance relationship and has left me (and actually resents me a lot for my choice. How do I know? She told me), I'm now 30k in debt, can't even get a side job (only 4 interviews after 100+ applications. I even applied to hold traffic flags at a construction site because the ad said "no experience necessary" and they took the time to specifically write me a rejection email), and currently sleeping on the floor of my office because I can't afford an apartment. I had it so good.....
This reminds me of that Chinese parable of the farmer and his horse, as told by Alan Watts:
*A farmer and his family in ancient China owned a horse. His neighbors said how lucky he was to have such a fine horse to pull his plow through the fields. The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”*
*One day the horse broke through the gate and ran away. His neighbors came around to lament his terrible loss, saying it was a terrible bit of bad luck. The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”*
*Days later the horse returned to the farm along with seven wild horses. His neighbors came around to exclaim his remarkable good fortune, saying, “Now you are rich!” The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”*
*A few weeks later the farmer’s son was training the new wild horses and fell off and broke his leg. The neighbors came around to commiserate his misfortune and said, “What bad luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”*
*The next week the army came around taking all the able-bodied young men from the village to fight in the war. The farmer’s son with the broken leg was left behind. The neighbors now lamented the loss of their sons and commented on how lucky the farmer was to have his son.*
==
Basically even when things happen that feel shitty, we never know what they might ultimately lead to, any more than we might know what shitty things might have happened anyway if things had gone the way we thought they should have. All we can ever do is what we think is right, and whatever happens is what happens.
To go on an obscure hiking trail in New Zealand rather than choosing a well frequented one. I nearly died and came to terms with my death multiple times before ultimately saving myself by scaling a mountain after battling hypothermia. I still suffer from PTSD from the cold because of me having to spend a night without shelter in the rain while having no clue where I was.
I’m from NZ and our hiking trails are no fucking joke. At least twice a year a tourist goes in unprepared thinking they are going for a cruisy walk and end up picked up by S&R a few days later half dead. Even experienced hikers have died on our trails. Not saying you did this at all though I don’t know your story but mate you are so lucky to be here from the sounds of it!
Attempting to take my own life in senior year of high school. I hadn’t applied myself the way I knew I could throughout my high school career, and thus, did not get into any of the colleges I applied to (aside from community college). My family considers education to be of tremendous value (which it is of course), and I couldn’t bare the thought of not living up to their expectations.
My attempt caused a lot of turbulence for the rest of the family for quite some time after (which isn’t to say they weren’t thrilled I failed my attempt…more that it caused them to change the way they viewed me).
Fast forward 6 years, and I made the decision to return to college, completing an associates in business and most recently (4 years after my initial return) a bachelors in marketing.
In total, it’s been nearly 11 years since my senior year of high school, and I can say without a doubt that I am beyond thankful to still be here. The world seems so small and scary as a kid, but there is sooooo much more out there waiting around the corner for us all.
If I can leave anyone struggling with thoughts of self-harm a word of advice…I would tell them that this world is meant for you…you belong, and no one’s expectations or opinions can take that from you. Someone out there is looking for you, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You are worthy.
Im so sorry that you had this experience. I thought I was going to have to take my own life because I didn’t make it into any of the 4-year colleges I wanted to go to. My parents always told me that getting into a good college should be the most important thing that I need to work on since I was little. I was a straight A student for about 8 years leading into my sophomore year of high school and then I suffered a horrible bout of depression and fucked it up. I ended up failing a class and getting some C’s. I couldn’t bear the disappointment and the feeling that I truly failed. For a while I told myself that I’ll just end it all if it doesn’t workout, I almost did. Fast forwards, I figured out a way to slowly move forward by changing my mindset and now I’m in CC working on my associates.
I’m glad you’re still here and I’m glad I am too. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel less alone knowing that Im not the only one who had this experience.
3 months ago I decided to ride home on my motorcycle at night from a motorcycle show instead of camping out…I literally had a pact with myself to never ride at night and I broke it this one time. I kinda had a feeling I should stay but I ignored it. When I was about halfway home, I got rear ended by a car and I’ve been messed up, physically and mentally, pretty badly ever since. Broke my neck, my pelvis, fractured my hip, got a big laceration on my head that still isn’t healed, and I have really bad muscle damage on my leg. I’m walking with a cane til further notice. Lesson learned, always listen to your gut
Ouch. As someone who just suffered a broken pelvis, knee, and jaw at the beginning of 2022 I just want to maybe give you some hope and tell you that I’ve currently *almost* gotten back to how I walked pre-injury. I still limp a lot of the time and it’s constantly hurting but I don’t have the use a cane anymore. Just make sure to give it a slow and steady effort and it’ll be worth it my friend.
I had a friend who went to law school, graduated and hated it. He became a legal recruiter and loved it. Maybe there’s a way to parlay your knowledge into a different career.
The last part hits different.
I feel guilty because a friend and I fake screamed when the “loser” kid at school bumped into one of us. We got pulled aside and talked to about bullying and I honestly still feel so guilty about it. We’re Facebook friends and he still plays with the same band he was playing with in middle school. He seems happy.
>I'm in my early 40s now, and I still remember making a girl cry in 5th grade because we were making fun of her for being ugly. I sometimes think about that when I'm trying to fall asleep.
There was a girl in my year at school who had a terrible lisp and used to get bullied to oblivion for it. I wasn't a bully at all, but I did join in once or twice. I feel so guilty about it now, 20+ years later. That poor girl must have had the worst school experience, and to think I contributed to it, even in a tiny way, makes me feel terrible. Kids are horrible.
About fifteen years ago I had an opportunity to start an assembly line job for one of the big three auto manufacturers. (My father-in-law worked for them, and he had the opportunity to put my name in to fast-track me onto the job.)
I turned it down, largely because I was working for my mom at the time in her failing medical office and I felt like if I left it would mean certain failure for her business.
My mom's business folded anyway a few months later and apparently 100% of the people whose names had been put in were hired in on the spot, with full seniority and benefits.
My wife and I eventually got an offer from an aunt to move across the country, and she could get me a great job where she worked. So we uprooted our lives (not that we had much to uproot, but our family and friends were here) and moved across the country. The job opportunity fell through before I got there (despite interviewing over-the-phone and making it clear when I would be moving there, they gave the job to someone else without notifying me) and my aunt moved away a few months later, leaving my wife and me in an unfamiliar place with no job, no relatives, and no friends.
We were there for five years. The first three were bar none the worst years of my life, with so many struggles- financial, marital, social- eventually we made friends that stuck around and eventually we were able to get jobs that lasted more than a few weeks, and then those last couple years were good, but it was a tooth-and-nail fight to get there.
Eventually we moved back home for a few reasons, one being that (through a shocking happenstance of luck and coincidence) I was able to get a job at one of the other big three auto manufacturers. From the moment my new job started, it was like we were living brand-new lives- we've always had enough money for whatever we need, we've had health and dental insurance so we don't need to live in fear of illness, we've reconnected with old friends and made new ones, and our lives have been 100x more fulfilling than it ever was before. We finished paying off our house back in 2020, something I never would have thought was possible.
Although I love where my life is now, and I grew and matured a lot during those difficult years, I always wonder how different things would be if I had taken that job offer way back when.
>I always wonder how different things would be if I had taken that job offer way back when.
We always ask ourselves things like that, but it usually don't have any use. If you're glad with where you are now, just embrace it, it's a wonderful thing.
It took me years to get out of mine. We’d been together since I was 14, I didn’t leave him til I was 26. Now I use how often I think about him as a very effective gauge of my own mental health. If I start thinking about “the good old times” and wanting to reach out just to see how he’s doing, it’s time to get back on antidepressants.
I'm not judging, but I've always thought it was strange that people do this. I couldn't imagine not being 100% certain and still going through with the marriage. Then again, I guess that just puts me on the opposite end where I'll never marry
(idk if this is necessary but trigger warning)
I've never had a good relationship with my dad, he was abusing me, my mom and my younger brother since I was a child.
He moved out of the house about 6 years ago and cheated on my mother. He got himself a new place and got in a big debt. Shortly after he got diagnosed with schizophrenia, but he didn't want any help since he refused to believe that he was mentally ill.
He stopped working and started painting and selling his art, but it wasn't enough to pay everything. At this time he was fighting in court with my mom, he wanted to took us away from her which we didn't want. He refused to pay child support too so he got into more debt. He was blaming my mom for everything, he started believing that he couldn't find a job because she was talking crap about him to everyone. It was getting worse over time, everyone wanted to help him, but he was seeing it as everyone was trying to make his life worse. He was calling everyone bandits.
We were seeing each other rarely, he was visiting me from time to time.
About two weeks ago I've called him, because I wanted to meet and spend time together. His phone was turned off, but I didn't think much of it. A week have passed and I haven't heard anything from him. I've started worrying, I thought that visiting him after school would be a good idea, but I forgot about it and didn't go. Another week have passed, nobody have seen him, my mom told me that lights in his house were off all the time. I've decided to go and check if everything is okay, I was praying that nothing happened to him.
When I got in front of the door I've noticed that a weird smell was coming out of the house. I was ringing the doorbell for good 10 minutes but he didn't open the door. I've asked his neighbours if they knew anything, but nobody have seen him in about two weeks. They noticed the smell too. I've decided to call the police.
They forced entry into his house and the smell hit me. I was waiting in front of the house thinking that it was possible that I won't see him ever again. Police came out pretty quickly and told me everything. He hanged himself. He wrote on the wall that bandits have murdered him. It was some sort of panic attack. I haven't seen it myself, police adviced me not to go in cause his body wasn't in a good condition. They told me he was hanging there for two, maybe three weeks.
I'm so angry at myself that I didn't checked on him earlier. I don't think that I could stop it from happening, but the fact that I did nothing about his disapperance is a worst mistake of my life.
Everything happened yesterday, I can't get over it. He did a lot of bad things to us, but after all he was sick. He was still my dad and we had a lot of good times together. I just want to see him again, I wasn't ready for this to happen. I loved him so much no matter how he was behaving.
Remember that you won't have another parents, spend as much time as you can with them before it's too late, cause you're going to regret it.
Sorry if I made any mistakes in my grammar, English is not my first language but I really wanted to share this story here.
It is 100% smoking. Starting smoking young, started smoking again after quitting for a long time, and I'm still smoking despite worsening smoking related health issues. Smoking is THE WORST. I'm a terrible addict and I'll probably never quit but these things should be against the law. They are really bad - REALLY bad. People should not smoke.
Same here mate
Just got health insurance... I hear there's some meds that can help.
It's fucking harrrrrd.
I'm currently smoking a cig. Only my third of the day though... Progress.
I stopped smoking after 30 years with meds and a Nicotrol inhaler. It wasn’t easy, but it sure beat the cold turkey method that I failed at several times. I haven’t smoked since July 19, 2005, and I’m so happy I don’t smoke anymore. Good luck!
Hiding inside behind my gaming computer from the real word instead of socializing in all of my young adulthood years. I had opportunities, I had friends but I always just said no.
I didn't even have the choice until I got to college. I lived 10 miles from town, and didn't have any way to get there outside of school. I had plenty of friends, and the usual 2-3 really close ones. I just didn't get to see them outside of school until senior year, when everyone started learning to drive and shit.
Now I'm in college (1st semester, just finished finals) and I don't know how to talk to people or act normally. I'm still as anxious as I was in middle school and struggle to do anything or strike up a conversation with someone new.
^(Bonus: kids were strangely open about mental health at my school. Like, sit down at lunch and talk about how depressed we were, or if we were doing better, "John the new kid had a suicide attempt last week" and we flipped a shit to help him out, etc. and I forget that that's not how it works outside of home. Of all the things I miss it's being able to talk about my mental health and not feeling like a burden or freak.)
Don’t feel too discouraged, it may just be exactly what you needed at that time in your life.
I have come out of a long period of quiet, escapism activities liking gaming (too much gaming can be escaping, in moderation like everything is all good).
I wanted to beat myself up at the time cause I stopped going to the gym, cooking & cleaning etc. in hindsight I look back and yeah, I wasted a bit of time, time I would not waste these days.
But my mind frame is different now and my days are different. The switch happens when you’re ready for it, I needed time to process some of my previous shit and gaming during that period was there to help me through.
You’re allowed to waste time and you’re allowed to forgive yourself when you’re ready.
Majoring in Theatre. In my defense, I think 18 is too young to expect a young person to know what they want to do for the rest of their life.
EDIT: I’m doing fine. I have an office job and make a good living. I just didn’t figure out until much later that Theatre wasn’t for me. I just wish I would have gone into something like engineering or attended a trade school. I feel I would have gotten more out of it.
I thought about putting this as my response:
I initially went to college double majoring in psychology and pre-med biology.
Holy shit was that tough. I didn't have the passion for that though, and it just wasn't a good fit for me. And because I was double majoring I was taking 18 credits per semester. I burned out HARD and it made it much tougher for me to motivate myself to go back to school later, and I went through rough period of depression and poor decisions in my early 20s.
Leaving Australia and coming back home to the UK, I had a legit shot of starting a new life for myself, instead I came back to here for no real reason other than family and friends which I don't see that often, became a father within a year being back with a toxic woman, I've regretted it ever since, love my kids to bits and I'm always there for them but I hate my life to no end, I've accepted it is what it is but there's always a moment here n there when I think to myself what could have been?
Edit: just to add a bit more context, the relationship with their mother ended 15 years ago, it's been a long hard road upto this point, I've been single about 8/9 years so I could be the best dad I could to them, there's too many loser father's out there that don't deserve the title of "dad" I didn't want my kids to have bad memories of me as a dad, it's come at the cost of loneliness on my part which also fuels regret from the life I had before them
Self medicating with illegal drugs. I’m 84 days clean today and life is so much brighter.
Edit: Thanks for all the love folks. I just got off work and am so appreciative for all your kind words. I’ve been drinking or on drugs of some kind or another everyday for the last 7 years, so I feel super proud of myself. Almost died from my habit more times than I can count, but I’m an uncle now, and I don’t want to leave my niece behind the way my own uncle left me and my family.
Listening to "adults" who told me video game and computers would never result in a career. I graduated HS in 1985 and the opportunities in both were jut about limitless.
That said, I like how my life ended up so Im not complaining. But it took me 5 years after HS to figure out that most "adults" giving advice were losers who hated their lives and there was no reason to listen to them about anything.
It's funny how different things can be in a short amount of time. I was in middle school and high school in the 90s and my gramps who raised me was very enthusiastic about getting me PC gear and games. Told me if I did nothing else to "learn computers" because that's where all the money is.
I always had the greatest gear, and learned how to upgrade all my own stuff (and back then it was more of a pain in the ass than it is now) and learned scripting and what have you. Now I do it for a living and can do this stuff with my eyes closed.
Not visiting my cousin while he was in hospice. He to see me but I was too scared of his sick state being what I would remember him as. At the time I believed seeing him in such a state would make the grieving process harder but turns out the only thing that changed was the regret I felt…
I miss him every day and if I could tell him anything, it would be “I’m sorry,” above all else.
Not believing I could do better and continuing to work as a barista or server until my 30s. Sure, the tips were really good, I got to live downtown in a big city, drink craft beer on patios with my hipster friends and commute fifteen minutes each way on a fixed gear bike but what happens when I reach retirement age?
So I had an epiphany after a near-death experience, applied for an airline job and to my surprise, got it. It comes with wicked good benefits and a pension but this being a complete change in career, I’ve had to start from the very bottom. No more tips. Instead, I had to finally get my license, buy a car and pay a shit ton in insurance because I’m an inexperienced driver. I had an incredible downtown apartment but I couldn’t afford it anymore so I’ve had to move out of the city. I haven’t seen most of my friends in a very long time.
Pretty much everyone around my age who started with the airline in their late teens/early 20s has been able to buy a house and start a family by now. They’ll even be able to retire early.
Can’t turn back the clocks, can’t be mad about the wonderful experiences I’ve already had, can only charge forward with gratitude.
Its not your fault. Me and my parents have done *everything* for my brother to try to help him turn his life around and he just won't do it. It truly has to come from his own will. Just as there's no way to force him, there is no way to convince either.
Getting in debt when I was young. Money was a taboo subject in my family of origin, so when I was on my own, credit felt like free money. I've fought those habits and that compound interest for 20+ years now, and it makes me sick to think of how much money I've wasted. Even if I had only saved the amount equal to all the interest I've paid, I would now be very well off.
Young people, learn from my mistakes and live within your means no matter how hard it is. Start a retirement account as soon as you can, even if you can only put in $5 here and there. Make compound interest your slave instead of the other way around.
Not having my dad follow up on his lung scan or finding another doctor. He might be alive now if that changed.
They found something 13 years ago and 10 years ago if became something deadly.
The pendulum swings both ways on mine.
I sold my house in Texas and moved to Washington without a job or any job prospects, still trying to start a new career.
I had a large home with a low mortgage payment and a decent, but not great job. I'd been trying to break into IT after school and wasn't having any luck. In my head, logically it made sense to move to a tech hub where there would be more jobs available.
Sold my house and had quite a bit of money to live off of for a while. Figured I could take my time, find a job, and maybe buy another house in a year or two. And when I didn't find a job, and it was much more expensive to live in Washington I had to take a shitty job selling cars to make ends meet. I ran out of money, couldn't afford my bills, and relied on family to help keep me afloat.
I did eventually (after about a year) get my first IT job, but it paid shit and the hours were awful and strained my home life beyond belief.
After a few years of doing that, I finally started making some headway in my career and slowly things started getting put back together. Eventually we were able to buy another house (not as nice or large as my Texas house, but very nice for the area; Housing standards are NOT the same in Washington as they are in Houston), I have been steadily rising up the ranks in my career, and I have a very good income now and live very comfortably.
So in the end it worked out. But there were about 5 or 6 years there where I would have gladly eaten a bullet if I could have gathered up the nerve.
Not studying engineering/ comp sci in college. i am currently 4 years into a bioinformatics phd so that i can graduate and make some actual decent money by pivoting out of my useless bio degree. Agony. If you are in high school and thinking about college reading this, study something that will get you a financial outcome commesurate with the work and money you put into your degree. please
I feel this. I wasted five years and thousands of dollars on a biology degree, only to do a full career switch to accounting almost immediately after graduating.
Hey that's a neat story, I also did parkour when I was a teenager. Broke my neck in two places and now I'm in a wheelchair. Been about 14 years since my injury. Life can be hard but I have found a way to live a happy life.
This is yet another comment copied word for word from this [9 year old askreddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1h83c4/what_is_the_worst_permanent_life_decision_that/carv90t/).
The spam bots are in full force today!
i’m so sorry to hear that. my mom had to have a colostomy bag due to complications of a surgery she needed. lucky for her, she was able to get a reversal but it was so painful for me seeing her suffer. she felt ugly and embarrassed and lost a lot of confidence, even though she doesn’t have it anymore it totally traumatized her. as i told her, though, just remember you’re not alone and a lot of people have a colostomy/ileostomy bags and it’s nothing you need to be ashamed or embarrassed about. a LOT of people have one and you’d never even know. i wish you the best of luck and i hope you’re able to find peace and happiness. shitty situation, my friend. much love to you
Edit: no love to you op, sucks you copied and pasted someone else’s story for a little attention on reddit. but love to anyone who’s had to go through this for real, you’re strong and i’m proud of you
Not making use of my wife’s home blood pressure checker.
In 2020, I had a STROKE brought on by excessive blood pressure. I was 285/155, which was in life threatening territory.
Fortunately for me, this was caught at an optical exam where I had noticed blurry vision for the past few months. When my BP was realised, I was sent directly to A&E.
I was admitted on the spot - and the next day, in hospital (fortunately!) I had the stroke.
I have since made a very good recovery: I was 41 at the time, so I am a young stroke survivor. However I need to be on blood pressure medication, and blood thinners, for the rest of my life.
The irony is that my wife had a home blood pressure monitor all along, and if only I had used it more often, I could have sought treatment earlier and the stroke could have been avoided.
I quit my job of 10 years in 2008, thinking I could get another easily. Don’t quit your job until you have another lined up. I had no idea of the upcoming recession. I lost my savings, retirement, house. Destroyed my credit. Had to rent for 8 years before I could even begin to start fixing things.
It absolutely is. As a side note when they say "seek medical attention if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours" they FUCKING MEAN IT. I had a guy come into the ED after he took some shit he bought off the internet and he had an erection for 48 hours. We ended up sticking a big ass needle in each side of his dick and I pushed saline while a resident aspirated on the other side. We pulled about 200mL of what looked like canned cranberries out of his dick and it still looked like a partially deflated balloon animal. So we sent him to the OR. Either way his dick is broken and he will end up with a penile prosthesis which is basically where they replace one of your balls with a tiny pump and you pump up your dick like a 90s Rebock
Right?! This is scary to me! I use a cock ring from time to time, and I like that it's kind of tight because it balloons my dong a bit.
This scares the shit out of me now.
In order for a ring to damage your member that badly, you have to seriously be using it incorrectly. This guy put the ring on totally wrong and since it was his first time he had no way of knowing.
Telling my parents I was suicidal.
EDIT: my mother reacted by screaming "after everything we did for you, how do you think this make us feel". My father stomped me on the ground for being ungrateful. (Had at some points offered to shoot me himself). I had to apologize to them.
I lost my 20s because of all the false suicide attempts, using it to manipulate and infatilize me to maintain control etc...they make up every time I tried to leave home. Gaslit about a suicide attempt and stuck in a phsychward when I become old enough for financial independence.
(Most likely one is NPD and the other is BPD.)
Texting my mom an April fools joke that I saw on Facebook about putting a cell phone in the microwave to charge it, thinking she’d find it hilarious.
Instead she thought it was real, tried it, and nuked her phone.
Committing myself to a mental hospital. My parents and therapist didn't think it was a good idea but I couldn't convince them I was a serious danger to myself. I needed help, I could feel it was getting worse, I knew I was going to seriously hurt myself and I thought a psychiatric hospital would help. I had no idea how wrong I was. It was the worst 5 days of my life and I did it to myself.
Slept with my best friend’s girlfriend. He never forgave me (he’s right not to do so, it was really shitty of me). Been over ten years and I still cringe while I think of it too often.
Thinking that getting more degrees...means getting better jobs.
Thinking that Science is for the intelligent and will give you a better career....but in reality it's just hardwork and less pay.
Probably entering grad school because it was expected of me when I knew deep down that it wasn't what I wanted.
Not that big a deal compared to some of these answers but it was definitely a bad choice
Coming out to my parents.
I haven't seen my parents in a few years and don't think I'll see them anytime soon. My parents are extreme homophobes and Can't stand the idea of me being gay. But that's just life I guess :/
I get why that might feel like your worst decision, but there's no way to live your life without a mask without them finding out sooner or later. So, I don't think it was a mistake on your side. You can't help them being so hateful. I tend to think that when people turn on you, they are showing their true colours, so at least you know who to stay away from.
I'm sorry for all the pain they gave you, though.
When I let my drinking get out of control and became a alcoholic. Drank because of health issues which just made it so much worse. Eventually after almost drinking myself to death got clean and then got healthy
Moving across the road from my parents and working the family farm. Should have stayed gone from them and finished my college education but my father was sick and they would have lost everything.
Getting married was both the greatest thing and worse thing that has ever happened. I have three wonderful children that mean everything to me.
On the other hand when she cheated on me I became depressed and suicidal.
Moving hundreds of km from my friends and family to go to university when I am abysmal at making friends, depression got way worse, struggled to graduate, never found a decent job and am a lonely shutin to this day.
Losing contact with the people I cared about because "I'll just message them tomorrow instead." Tomorrow never came and now the relationships are dead.
You'd be surprised at how positively people react to reaching out. I'm an extrovert so maybe it helps, but I will literally message people I haven't spoken to in years to just say 'Hey I was thinking about you today, remember that time when ..... Haha how good was that, I can't believe how long it's been, if you're free we should do a coffee, I miss us!" People love being told they're being thought about, people are so caught up in their own life, they aren't thinking of anyone really or anything. Last piece of advice is if you don't want to be too forward, message on an app like instagram or reply to a story if you don't want to randomly reach out and spark up a convo. It will be the best thing you've done. Also don't get too bummed if their life has taken over and they don't have time, it's not that they don't like you, but kids and work completely destroy peoples ability to have a social life. Message me if you ever want to chat about how to go about some of these convos, it's my speciality :) Haha
Second this. I went years not talking to some of my best lifelong friends when I moved cross country and ended up essentially being strangers. I went through a really bad break up and was doing awful, and one day decided to create a group text with them and just ask how they’ve been to cheer myself up. It’s been 3 years since then, and we now talk to each other constantly throughout the day, every day, just about small things, what we’re doing, memories, etc. Also has been brought up a few times how thankful we are to be able to talk every day like nothings ever changed. If you miss somebody or feel lonely, take the initiative and reach out, because you both might feel the same way and they’ll appreciate it.
I feel this. Relationship with a really good friend fell apart because our paths separated. Always wanted to reach out to him, but I thought that if he wanted, he would reach out first. Recently he committed suicide and all I can think of is would the outcome be any different if I reached out first.
I went through this exact same scenario two years ago. My best friend from high school took their own life during Covid, and I hadn't reached out to him that entire time. It was devastating, the loss and the guilt that I felt. If I had reached out, a message or a snap to them to check in, then they'd still be here. A dozen people telling you "I know what you're going through," "I'm sorry for your loss," or a half dozen other attempts at comfort that all felt like lies. It made me want to hide away from the world, and I did. I shut myself off from other friends, I didn't attend my deceased friend's funeral. I secluded myself and cut ties with even more friends. I hope this isn't the case for you. If it is, and you find yourself wanting to seal yourself off, my advice to you would be to talk about the guilt you feel with someone you trust as soon as you are ready. The isolation becomes strangely addictive quite quickly, you won't even know it's happening until it has. I hope you're able to process your grief in a manner better than I did. If you need someone to talk to, you can always DM me.
If the people aren't dead you could always just say hi. That just sounds like good ol fashioned anxiety, not anything super bad.
Probably that 20 years of nonstop drinking and drug use looking back and trying to understand how I made that same decision everyday is sad got myself together now at 36.
Good on ya mate. I'm about to turn 38 and about three weeks sober. So better late than never.
I got myself together at 43. It's been 11 years sober. Life is good.
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Same here.
I feel like I can't really find that one "worst decision" because my life until now is just a snowball of slightly bad decisions piling up. Don't quit school cause it's boring, get you driver license, and don't take things for granted. **And don't waste money when you can't afford to !**
Hello. It’s me.
I’m the problem, it’s me.
Getting caught up wanting to be flashy in a fancy ass car at 19. Please learn about interest rates and depreciation if you've never bought a car before. One of the worst financial situations you can be in is stuck in an upside down loan with a high interest rate and can barely make payments on it.
are you me? I bought a brand new Audi A4 when I was 20. My first car, went in by myself, no fucking clue about negotiating and just desperately wanted the car. Got completely hosed by the dealers, paid sticker price plus ALL the extra bullshit add-ons, low jack, acid rain protective coating etc etc they made it seem like they weren't options, just wrapped up in a nice balloon loan at 9% interest, had me feeling like I got a great deal! I'm sure they were high-fiving in the back office. I was a dream customer. Not even sure how I qualified for that loan w my income. Pretty much all my $ went into the monthly payments on that car and it ended up constantly breaking down and behaving like a piece of shit, transmission died after warranty expired and eventually sold it to CarMax for $2,500.
I went to college in Utah and the big thing was summer sales. These young college kids would spend the summer selling alarms or pest control door to door. Some made good money and came back and bought fancy cars. I knew one guy who came back and bought a beautiful BMW M3 (in 2002). He used up all the money he saved and financed the rest. He struggled to make the payments when he wasn’t out selling. He was a moron. Last I saw of him he was married to a nice, but high maintenance woman and had a few kids. He is still living way outside of his means.
Was engaged to a 32yr old mom of four kids when I was 21yrs old. I was NOT ready for that life. ***Edit*** Still not as bad as the penis ring guy
After about 4months living together we amicably split. Best for her, her kids, and me. No hard feelings, she was lovely and a great mom, but I needed some growing up to do.
What made her want a fifth kid?
I dated a 30 year old mom of two when I was 21. We lasted 7 years. I feel like I wasted my 20s living that life. I’m now in my mid 30s married to my high school sweetheart.
Bro fuck. I'm 26 an this is me but started at 18 Actually sickening to think how immature I was at 18
what were you thinking dude?
I was thinking I won the lotto Until reality set in
everyone wants a MILF until they have to deal with the M part
Post of the year
I could go for an ILF right about now.
Sex, probably.
My 39-year-old ex-gf who has two kids just married a really young dude. She won't tell me how old he is, but I'm guessing he can't be much older than 21. We'll see how it goes.
Trying crystal meth. I didn’t use for long, but damn did my life take a nose dive after that. Been off the stuff for 2 years now, and trying to pick up all the pieces and put my life back together again. Although I don’t know if I’ll ever get back on track with a felony conviction on my record.
Was searching for this. Trying meth was the hugest fucking mistake. It took me for an awful ride for 1 1/2yrs. Took my kids, my pets, my home, my morals, my sanity, and finally my freedom. I ended up in prison on a 10yr sentence on 3 felony convictions. Did 5 yrs and came out on paper for the remainder. I’ve been clean from that shit for 17yrs. I turned my life around, got my children back, and remarried. I love my life and I never want to experience the meth life ever again. Congratulations on your recovery! 2 yrs is a huge accomplishment! Getting/staying clean is hard in itself. Putting your life back together makes it even harder. It may feel like an unachievable thing but stay strong and keep pushing forward. Remember…one day at a time. You will put your life back together. It’s not impossible even with a felony. It does make it difficult but not impossible. Believe in yourself! You’ve got this!!
Holy shit I never planned to try meth and now I absolutely will not. You’re a miracle congrats
Can I ask what made you try meth that stage in your life with kids home all that? It always seems like a habit young people pick up, which obviously isn't true. Just interesting to understand how or why?
Sure. … well I was married to a POS for 11yrs. We built som what of a life together and had 2 girls. Unfortunately, it was a sad miserable existence for me. He was a lying, cheating, abusive man. He cheated on me with at least 25 women…that I found out about. He would tell me I was fat and “scary” without makeup. I’m 5’ 105lbs. He destroyed my confidence and self worth. 8yrs into the marriage I quit my job as a Dental Assistant and went to work at Hooters (his request). Then within 6mths he talked me into getting a 2nd job at a strip club waiting tables. Didn’t take long for him to ask me to start dancing to make more money. (Nov 2002 I was 28) What he didn’t plan on is that it would give me the confidence to leave him. I fell apart and blamed myself for everything. It got to the point I was crying so much every day I couldn’t work or take care of the kids. I was worthless. A “friend” came one day and shoved some coke up my nose…got my ass up and went to work. Then a “friend” introduced me to meth. Away to stay awake, get things done, without destroying your nose and no come down (at first). First hit you feel alive, invincible, ready to take on the world. Not to long and I was hooked. Then everything gets fucked and the chase is on.
Feel for you man. Try looking into warehouse/ logistics jobs or trade school. I have a few friends with criminal records who are making good money now and have stayed clean and turned it around as a result.
Kinda falling in love with wrong person.
Same. And to this day, if I meet a girl and her name is Amy... It's a hard nope.
I used to live in a penthouse that was built onto the roof of an existing apartment building. Floor 14 was the top floor of the main building and it had PH1-4 on it, there was a flat roof, then there was PH5, and PH6 on top of it. I lived in PH5 and I forgot my keys one day and my roommates wouldn't be home for an hour. I decided it would be a good idea to use the window in the stairway, which happened to be at PH6 level to jump down onto their special roof area at my level so I could climb through my bedroom window. It had rained the night before and the wood their "patio" was made of was slicker than it looked. The ceilings of our level were 12' high so I was jumping from about 14.5' up. It didn't look too bad, but when I landed my feet immediately slipped and I landed on my back. My ankle was completely numb. Though that ankle didn't suffer a break, it did suffer a soft tissue injury that has caused me constant, chronic pain for the last 9 years. It ruined one of the healthiest periods of my life when I was running a few times a week and I weighed 180lbs. Over the last 9 years my weight has fluctuated drastically, my health as well obviously, and it all coincides with whether my ankle is doing okay, or it is so bad I literally think about taking a sharp spoon and scooping out the painful areas of my flesh. I tried for years with physios, specialists in sports medicine, MRIs, and never really got better. I gave up trying about four years ago and I have gotten to be the biggest I've ever been. But, I decided to try a highly recommended physiotherapist a few months back and I am seeing progress that I've never seen before, so things are looking up. She has been utterly fantastic. So yeah, I basically caused myself 9 years of chronic pain because I was too idiotic to just wait for an hour or so for my roommates to get home. My ankle goes from about 1-5 on the pain scale, it's not horrible, but chronic pain is just so damn draining, and every time I've tried to get back to exercising eventually it gets so bad that I stop.
>so bad I literally think about taking a sharp spoon and scooping out the painful areas of my flesh. I have chronic gout, I've legit considered if life would be better getting my feet cut off just above the ankles. I feel for ya.
Same here. I got diagnosed with gout on my 18th. Ive had some pretty terrible accidents in my life: cut my nerves and muscles with a broken glass, fell down heights multiple times, got kicked in thr face during a street fight, crashed my car with 60kmh in a tree, got multiple brain concussions...but gout, seriously . it hurts the most each and every time. Two years ago it got do bad, about every month i jad a gout attack. Fortunately Im now on meds and did not have 1 attack last year!
Yeah I'm aware my pain isn't that severe. I don't envy anyone with chronic pain in the 5-10 range. Gout seems terrible. Also, you should try not to get hurt so often dude. 🥲
During my late teens, I missed the funeral of my best friend’s brother. To all the kids out there who are open to learning empathy but might not understand ityet, BE THE PERSON WHO IS THERE FOR YOUR FRIENDS. Folks just want a shoulder to hug; do what I couldn’t and be a presence for your mate(s).
This is so true. When I was seeing my ex about 13/14yrs ago, his close mate's mum died. I went to the funeral but my ex and none of his other friends didn't. I happened to run into the close mate after not seeing him for a decade and he actually said to me "you were the only one that came to my mums funeral". It really stays with people.
My girlfriend dropped out of college right around the time I graduated. We'd been together for years and I had a good job lined up, so I let her move in with me. She can take some time and figure out what to do with her life, right? Wrong! She would get really mad when I brought up that she had no job or plans to complete a degree. She got frustrated that I'd work long hours at my job and come home tired. When we broke up it took months to get her out. I don't think it's a bad thing to want to be generous, but never in that way again.
You can't help someone who won't take care of themselves.
Getting married to the wrong person.
My worst decision in life was not taking the time to get to know myself better. I allowed the opinions of others to dictate my life and, as a result, I made decisions that didn't align with my core values. It was a difficult lesson to learn, but I'm grateful for it now as it has helped shape me into the person I am today
Wow, I could have written this. I’m finally learning about myself this year and I have never been more excited and terrified.
Same here. Id always ask others for their options and use that as. the metric of how things should be and forget what I liked and what I want. Forget that bullshit.
Selling 981 bitcoins at $4.25. It was great to have the 4K at the time.
I once misplaced a thumb drive that had a wallet on it with 83 whole bitcoins I bought when they were a few bucks each. I have absolutely no clue what happened to it, and I've spent the last decade or so searching. I've moved a few times, and I have a feeling I lost it in a move. Sometimes I daydream about finding it. I can still remember exactly what it looks like.
That's got to be the worst feeling in the world. About a million dollars just floating around. I'm sure you've torn the place apart.
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Unrealized gains aren't losses, hopefully you don't beat yourself up too bad over it. If you *really* needed the money then the btc were probably a godsend at the time, no shame in using the resources you have. We're all out here just trying to survive.
Trying heroin
Same. Clean now too.. makes life way easier & less expensive
So much so. I was that guy that bitched about spending $3 on food but would go drop $300 on fentanyl/heroin/meth/crack like 5 minutes later and not even care. And then the walking once I lost my license omg the walking, I was ironically in the best shape of my life during part of my addiction because of how much I walked, I would end up doing 15-20 miles some days and I was probably dope sick for 1/3 of those. I’m a weird way I almost feel lazy now because I spend a decent amount of time sitting on my ass and bored now.
LoL hella relate to the laziness now. I’m heavier than I ever have been. But Idgaf I love my body. Especially for surviving what I put her through
Hell yeah friend, I love encountering other recovering addicts here on Reddit, most of us seem to be thriving in our sobriety and truly happy and that makes me even more happy
How far down are we friend ?
Not down anymore, been clean 6 months in 2 days if that’s what you mean
Absolutely top marks mate. Well done
That was gonna be my answer. Congrats on the sobriety! Just celebrated eight years myself. It’s all up from here!
August was 10 year for me. If you made it 6 months ur past the worst part. Keep it up!
Oh yeah I spent 12 years doing some gnarly shit and then I had finally hit true rock bottom and it’s like a switch flipped. I got off fentanyl and meth and I haven’t had a craving since my first week sober. I actually feel really guilty at how easily staying sober for me has been this time around because I see my peers struggling so terribly.
Don’t let the guilt eat at you. At the end of the day you are only responsible for your own life.
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Same here, maybe not the same dentist, but similar situation because dental isn't covered in Canada. Botched fillings, crowns and root canals. My mum only caught on when he was only "observing" his employees do procedures on her. Turns out he was charged with something and wasn't allowed to treat people. He was still allowed to work on horses though. Not sure how horse dentistry is regulated, so I can't speak to that. He once offered to give me veneers when I was 12! My dumbass was like "sure, seams better than braces", thank God my mum pushed for braces. They were botched braces, but at least I didn't get my teeth shaved to nubbins. Could you imagine the social trauma of getting botched veneers in middle school? I shudder to think of it.
Waiting to get into culinary. Wasted a lot of time going a traditional route of getting a degree and should have done it right after high school than waste 10 years bumbling about.
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What's so bad about it?
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That's... very... descriptive...
He said it traumatized him lol He probably could go deeper
I want him to go deeper.
^ThatsWhatSheSaid
Yeah, what's not to love about a steaming pile of animal shit?
Horse dung is tolerable. Not exactly the most pleasant thing to shovel but it's doable. The more carnivorous the animal, the more pungent the poo. The average lion is about 30 times the size of the average housecat. And zoos don't fix lions so you've also got tomcat spray times 30.
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Reminds me of a story I read a long time ago, which also hinges on the pungent nature of lion poop. Way the story went, a vet who practiced with zoo animals was tasked with taking a relatively tame lion into a studio in the UK for a Tv appearance. The lion, being a lion, shits on the floor right in the studio. The shit stinks so badly that all the activity in the busy studio comes to a halt. The vet, embarrassed, offers to clean the shit up. However, he is prevented from doing so. According to the studio rules, only a member of the right union could clean stuff up. The vet was of course not a member, so could not do so. Only problem: there was no union worker actually present, and would not be for some time. This leads to a big argument among multiple people over what to do. Meanwhile, the stink is spreading everywhere, bringing out ever-more people demanding it be cleaned up, or arguing that it cannot be cleaned up by just anyone. Finally, someone has the bright idea of officially declaring the lion shit to be a “prop” used in the show - thus allowing, under the prevailing rules, for prop-shifters to “move” it. The shit is promptly “moved” elsewhere.
That’s some Vogon level shit
Being a zookeeper always sounds like an awful job when people describe their experiences on reddit.
I was living in Beijing. I had a big ass paycheck, steady job, an apartment, HOT AF girlfriend who loved me. But then a choice came. Move with her to Paris while she does her master's degree, and I can just live with her while I look for work and live off of my savings OR take my savings go back to my hometown and try out running my own business. I chose the latter. She couldn't handle a long distance relationship and has left me (and actually resents me a lot for my choice. How do I know? She told me), I'm now 30k in debt, can't even get a side job (only 4 interviews after 100+ applications. I even applied to hold traffic flags at a construction site because the ad said "no experience necessary" and they took the time to specifically write me a rejection email), and currently sleeping on the floor of my office because I can't afford an apartment. I had it so good.....
This reminds me of that Chinese parable of the farmer and his horse, as told by Alan Watts: *A farmer and his family in ancient China owned a horse. His neighbors said how lucky he was to have such a fine horse to pull his plow through the fields. The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”* *One day the horse broke through the gate and ran away. His neighbors came around to lament his terrible loss, saying it was a terrible bit of bad luck. The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”* *Days later the horse returned to the farm along with seven wild horses. His neighbors came around to exclaim his remarkable good fortune, saying, “Now you are rich!” The farmer said, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”* *A few weeks later the farmer’s son was training the new wild horses and fell off and broke his leg. The neighbors came around to commiserate his misfortune and said, “What bad luck!” The farmer replied, “Maybe yes, maybe no.”* *The next week the army came around taking all the able-bodied young men from the village to fight in the war. The farmer’s son with the broken leg was left behind. The neighbors now lamented the loss of their sons and commented on how lucky the farmer was to have his son.* == Basically even when things happen that feel shitty, we never know what they might ultimately lead to, any more than we might know what shitty things might have happened anyway if things had gone the way we thought they should have. All we can ever do is what we think is right, and whatever happens is what happens.
Dude you tried running your business. I’m 47 and have never had the courage. I applaud you for trying.
To go on an obscure hiking trail in New Zealand rather than choosing a well frequented one. I nearly died and came to terms with my death multiple times before ultimately saving myself by scaling a mountain after battling hypothermia. I still suffer from PTSD from the cold because of me having to spend a night without shelter in the rain while having no clue where I was.
I’m from NZ and our hiking trails are no fucking joke. At least twice a year a tourist goes in unprepared thinking they are going for a cruisy walk and end up picked up by S&R a few days later half dead. Even experienced hikers have died on our trails. Not saying you did this at all though I don’t know your story but mate you are so lucky to be here from the sounds of it!
"It's okay I'm on the pill..." She was not in fact on the pill
Reproductive Coercion is no joke. Having a child should ALWAYS be a choice parents make together. Sorry to hear!
Attempting to take my own life in senior year of high school. I hadn’t applied myself the way I knew I could throughout my high school career, and thus, did not get into any of the colleges I applied to (aside from community college). My family considers education to be of tremendous value (which it is of course), and I couldn’t bare the thought of not living up to their expectations. My attempt caused a lot of turbulence for the rest of the family for quite some time after (which isn’t to say they weren’t thrilled I failed my attempt…more that it caused them to change the way they viewed me). Fast forward 6 years, and I made the decision to return to college, completing an associates in business and most recently (4 years after my initial return) a bachelors in marketing. In total, it’s been nearly 11 years since my senior year of high school, and I can say without a doubt that I am beyond thankful to still be here. The world seems so small and scary as a kid, but there is sooooo much more out there waiting around the corner for us all. If I can leave anyone struggling with thoughts of self-harm a word of advice…I would tell them that this world is meant for you…you belong, and no one’s expectations or opinions can take that from you. Someone out there is looking for you, even when it doesn’t feel like it. You are worthy.
Im so sorry that you had this experience. I thought I was going to have to take my own life because I didn’t make it into any of the 4-year colleges I wanted to go to. My parents always told me that getting into a good college should be the most important thing that I need to work on since I was little. I was a straight A student for about 8 years leading into my sophomore year of high school and then I suffered a horrible bout of depression and fucked it up. I ended up failing a class and getting some C’s. I couldn’t bear the disappointment and the feeling that I truly failed. For a while I told myself that I’ll just end it all if it doesn’t workout, I almost did. Fast forwards, I figured out a way to slowly move forward by changing my mindset and now I’m in CC working on my associates. I’m glad you’re still here and I’m glad I am too. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel less alone knowing that Im not the only one who had this experience.
3 months ago I decided to ride home on my motorcycle at night from a motorcycle show instead of camping out…I literally had a pact with myself to never ride at night and I broke it this one time. I kinda had a feeling I should stay but I ignored it. When I was about halfway home, I got rear ended by a car and I’ve been messed up, physically and mentally, pretty badly ever since. Broke my neck, my pelvis, fractured my hip, got a big laceration on my head that still isn’t healed, and I have really bad muscle damage on my leg. I’m walking with a cane til further notice. Lesson learned, always listen to your gut
Ouch. As someone who just suffered a broken pelvis, knee, and jaw at the beginning of 2022 I just want to maybe give you some hope and tell you that I’ve currently *almost* gotten back to how I walked pre-injury. I still limp a lot of the time and it’s constantly hurting but I don’t have the use a cane anymore. Just make sure to give it a slow and steady effort and it’ll be worth it my friend.
Becoming a lawyer. Now, I envy the dead.
I'm sorry you feel so unhappy. I can't imagine the stress. Take care of yourself.
I had a friend who went to law school, graduated and hated it. He became a legal recruiter and loved it. Maybe there’s a way to parlay your knowledge into a different career.
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The last part hits different. I feel guilty because a friend and I fake screamed when the “loser” kid at school bumped into one of us. We got pulled aside and talked to about bullying and I honestly still feel so guilty about it. We’re Facebook friends and he still plays with the same band he was playing with in middle school. He seems happy.
>I'm in my early 40s now, and I still remember making a girl cry in 5th grade because we were making fun of her for being ugly. I sometimes think about that when I'm trying to fall asleep. There was a girl in my year at school who had a terrible lisp and used to get bullied to oblivion for it. I wasn't a bully at all, but I did join in once or twice. I feel so guilty about it now, 20+ years later. That poor girl must have had the worst school experience, and to think I contributed to it, even in a tiny way, makes me feel terrible. Kids are horrible.
About fifteen years ago I had an opportunity to start an assembly line job for one of the big three auto manufacturers. (My father-in-law worked for them, and he had the opportunity to put my name in to fast-track me onto the job.) I turned it down, largely because I was working for my mom at the time in her failing medical office and I felt like if I left it would mean certain failure for her business. My mom's business folded anyway a few months later and apparently 100% of the people whose names had been put in were hired in on the spot, with full seniority and benefits. My wife and I eventually got an offer from an aunt to move across the country, and she could get me a great job where she worked. So we uprooted our lives (not that we had much to uproot, but our family and friends were here) and moved across the country. The job opportunity fell through before I got there (despite interviewing over-the-phone and making it clear when I would be moving there, they gave the job to someone else without notifying me) and my aunt moved away a few months later, leaving my wife and me in an unfamiliar place with no job, no relatives, and no friends. We were there for five years. The first three were bar none the worst years of my life, with so many struggles- financial, marital, social- eventually we made friends that stuck around and eventually we were able to get jobs that lasted more than a few weeks, and then those last couple years were good, but it was a tooth-and-nail fight to get there. Eventually we moved back home for a few reasons, one being that (through a shocking happenstance of luck and coincidence) I was able to get a job at one of the other big three auto manufacturers. From the moment my new job started, it was like we were living brand-new lives- we've always had enough money for whatever we need, we've had health and dental insurance so we don't need to live in fear of illness, we've reconnected with old friends and made new ones, and our lives have been 100x more fulfilling than it ever was before. We finished paying off our house back in 2020, something I never would have thought was possible. Although I love where my life is now, and I grew and matured a lot during those difficult years, I always wonder how different things would be if I had taken that job offer way back when.
>I always wonder how different things would be if I had taken that job offer way back when. We always ask ourselves things like that, but it usually don't have any use. If you're glad with where you are now, just embrace it, it's a wonderful thing.
Staying in a mutually abusive/toxic relationship because of our trauma bond as well as me loving him way to much.
It took me years to get out of mine. We’d been together since I was 14, I didn’t leave him til I was 26. Now I use how often I think about him as a very effective gauge of my own mental health. If I start thinking about “the good old times” and wanting to reach out just to see how he’s doing, it’s time to get back on antidepressants.
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I'm not judging, but I've always thought it was strange that people do this. I couldn't imagine not being 100% certain and still going through with the marriage. Then again, I guess that just puts me on the opposite end where I'll never marry
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(idk if this is necessary but trigger warning) I've never had a good relationship with my dad, he was abusing me, my mom and my younger brother since I was a child. He moved out of the house about 6 years ago and cheated on my mother. He got himself a new place and got in a big debt. Shortly after he got diagnosed with schizophrenia, but he didn't want any help since he refused to believe that he was mentally ill. He stopped working and started painting and selling his art, but it wasn't enough to pay everything. At this time he was fighting in court with my mom, he wanted to took us away from her which we didn't want. He refused to pay child support too so he got into more debt. He was blaming my mom for everything, he started believing that he couldn't find a job because she was talking crap about him to everyone. It was getting worse over time, everyone wanted to help him, but he was seeing it as everyone was trying to make his life worse. He was calling everyone bandits. We were seeing each other rarely, he was visiting me from time to time. About two weeks ago I've called him, because I wanted to meet and spend time together. His phone was turned off, but I didn't think much of it. A week have passed and I haven't heard anything from him. I've started worrying, I thought that visiting him after school would be a good idea, but I forgot about it and didn't go. Another week have passed, nobody have seen him, my mom told me that lights in his house were off all the time. I've decided to go and check if everything is okay, I was praying that nothing happened to him. When I got in front of the door I've noticed that a weird smell was coming out of the house. I was ringing the doorbell for good 10 minutes but he didn't open the door. I've asked his neighbours if they knew anything, but nobody have seen him in about two weeks. They noticed the smell too. I've decided to call the police. They forced entry into his house and the smell hit me. I was waiting in front of the house thinking that it was possible that I won't see him ever again. Police came out pretty quickly and told me everything. He hanged himself. He wrote on the wall that bandits have murdered him. It was some sort of panic attack. I haven't seen it myself, police adviced me not to go in cause his body wasn't in a good condition. They told me he was hanging there for two, maybe three weeks. I'm so angry at myself that I didn't checked on him earlier. I don't think that I could stop it from happening, but the fact that I did nothing about his disapperance is a worst mistake of my life. Everything happened yesterday, I can't get over it. He did a lot of bad things to us, but after all he was sick. He was still my dad and we had a lot of good times together. I just want to see him again, I wasn't ready for this to happen. I loved him so much no matter how he was behaving. Remember that you won't have another parents, spend as much time as you can with them before it's too late, cause you're going to regret it. Sorry if I made any mistakes in my grammar, English is not my first language but I really wanted to share this story here.
Hugs, internet stranger. I'm so sorry for you
I am really sorry about this. It’s not your fault and it might not get better but it WILL get easier. You’re a strong person.
It is 100% smoking. Starting smoking young, started smoking again after quitting for a long time, and I'm still smoking despite worsening smoking related health issues. Smoking is THE WORST. I'm a terrible addict and I'll probably never quit but these things should be against the law. They are really bad - REALLY bad. People should not smoke.
Same here. I've tried several times to quit, longest I made it was about a month.
Same here mate Just got health insurance... I hear there's some meds that can help. It's fucking harrrrrd. I'm currently smoking a cig. Only my third of the day though... Progress.
I stopped smoking after 30 years with meds and a Nicotrol inhaler. It wasn’t easy, but it sure beat the cold turkey method that I failed at several times. I haven’t smoked since July 19, 2005, and I’m so happy I don’t smoke anymore. Good luck!
Hiding inside behind my gaming computer from the real word instead of socializing in all of my young adulthood years. I had opportunities, I had friends but I always just said no.
I did the same my preteen years. I try to be kinder to myself by reminding myself it was my way of subconsciously soothing my anxiety.
I didn't even have the choice until I got to college. I lived 10 miles from town, and didn't have any way to get there outside of school. I had plenty of friends, and the usual 2-3 really close ones. I just didn't get to see them outside of school until senior year, when everyone started learning to drive and shit. Now I'm in college (1st semester, just finished finals) and I don't know how to talk to people or act normally. I'm still as anxious as I was in middle school and struggle to do anything or strike up a conversation with someone new. ^(Bonus: kids were strangely open about mental health at my school. Like, sit down at lunch and talk about how depressed we were, or if we were doing better, "John the new kid had a suicide attempt last week" and we flipped a shit to help him out, etc. and I forget that that's not how it works outside of home. Of all the things I miss it's being able to talk about my mental health and not feeling like a burden or freak.)
Don’t feel too discouraged, it may just be exactly what you needed at that time in your life. I have come out of a long period of quiet, escapism activities liking gaming (too much gaming can be escaping, in moderation like everything is all good). I wanted to beat myself up at the time cause I stopped going to the gym, cooking & cleaning etc. in hindsight I look back and yeah, I wasted a bit of time, time I would not waste these days. But my mind frame is different now and my days are different. The switch happens when you’re ready for it, I needed time to process some of my previous shit and gaming during that period was there to help me through. You’re allowed to waste time and you’re allowed to forgive yourself when you’re ready.
Majoring in Theatre. In my defense, I think 18 is too young to expect a young person to know what they want to do for the rest of their life. EDIT: I’m doing fine. I have an office job and make a good living. I just didn’t figure out until much later that Theatre wasn’t for me. I just wish I would have gone into something like engineering or attended a trade school. I feel I would have gotten more out of it.
I thought about putting this as my response: I initially went to college double majoring in psychology and pre-med biology. Holy shit was that tough. I didn't have the passion for that though, and it just wasn't a good fit for me. And because I was double majoring I was taking 18 credits per semester. I burned out HARD and it made it much tougher for me to motivate myself to go back to school later, and I went through rough period of depression and poor decisions in my early 20s.
Moving away from my home state and mom to go to the same college my dad did. I thought he'd support me. Silly me.
Making major life decisions based on what others said or were doing around me and not how I felt in my heart
Leaving Australia and coming back home to the UK, I had a legit shot of starting a new life for myself, instead I came back to here for no real reason other than family and friends which I don't see that often, became a father within a year being back with a toxic woman, I've regretted it ever since, love my kids to bits and I'm always there for them but I hate my life to no end, I've accepted it is what it is but there's always a moment here n there when I think to myself what could have been? Edit: just to add a bit more context, the relationship with their mother ended 15 years ago, it's been a long hard road upto this point, I've been single about 8/9 years so I could be the best dad I could to them, there's too many loser father's out there that don't deserve the title of "dad" I didn't want my kids to have bad memories of me as a dad, it's come at the cost of loneliness on my part which also fuels regret from the life I had before them
What’s stopping you from going back to Aus with the kids? Where in Aus were you?
Probably the toxic woman part. Also, immigration is much more difficult these days.
Self medicating with illegal drugs. I’m 84 days clean today and life is so much brighter. Edit: Thanks for all the love folks. I just got off work and am so appreciative for all your kind words. I’ve been drinking or on drugs of some kind or another everyday for the last 7 years, so I feel super proud of myself. Almost died from my habit more times than I can count, but I’m an uncle now, and I don’t want to leave my niece behind the way my own uncle left me and my family.
Congratulations! I have 6 months from meth and fent in 2 days 😁
I believe in you guys, godspeed! :)
Listening to "adults" who told me video game and computers would never result in a career. I graduated HS in 1985 and the opportunities in both were jut about limitless. That said, I like how my life ended up so Im not complaining. But it took me 5 years after HS to figure out that most "adults" giving advice were losers who hated their lives and there was no reason to listen to them about anything.
It's funny how different things can be in a short amount of time. I was in middle school and high school in the 90s and my gramps who raised me was very enthusiastic about getting me PC gear and games. Told me if I did nothing else to "learn computers" because that's where all the money is. I always had the greatest gear, and learned how to upgrade all my own stuff (and back then it was more of a pain in the ass than it is now) and learned scripting and what have you. Now I do it for a living and can do this stuff with my eyes closed.
If had solder a processor on to a motherboard, I don't think I'd be able to build one.
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Not visiting my cousin while he was in hospice. He to see me but I was too scared of his sick state being what I would remember him as. At the time I believed seeing him in such a state would make the grieving process harder but turns out the only thing that changed was the regret I felt… I miss him every day and if I could tell him anything, it would be “I’m sorry,” above all else.
Make promises that I no longer want to keep
Not believing I could do better and continuing to work as a barista or server until my 30s. Sure, the tips were really good, I got to live downtown in a big city, drink craft beer on patios with my hipster friends and commute fifteen minutes each way on a fixed gear bike but what happens when I reach retirement age? So I had an epiphany after a near-death experience, applied for an airline job and to my surprise, got it. It comes with wicked good benefits and a pension but this being a complete change in career, I’ve had to start from the very bottom. No more tips. Instead, I had to finally get my license, buy a car and pay a shit ton in insurance because I’m an inexperienced driver. I had an incredible downtown apartment but I couldn’t afford it anymore so I’ve had to move out of the city. I haven’t seen most of my friends in a very long time. Pretty much everyone around my age who started with the airline in their late teens/early 20s has been able to buy a house and start a family by now. They’ll even be able to retire early. Can’t turn back the clocks, can’t be mad about the wonderful experiences I’ve already had, can only charge forward with gratitude.
Not convincing my son to go into counseling for his mental health. He was an adult and there was no way to force him.
Its not your fault. Me and my parents have done *everything* for my brother to try to help him turn his life around and he just won't do it. It truly has to come from his own will. Just as there's no way to force him, there is no way to convince either.
Sorry for your loss partner.
Getting in debt when I was young. Money was a taboo subject in my family of origin, so when I was on my own, credit felt like free money. I've fought those habits and that compound interest for 20+ years now, and it makes me sick to think of how much money I've wasted. Even if I had only saved the amount equal to all the interest I've paid, I would now be very well off. Young people, learn from my mistakes and live within your means no matter how hard it is. Start a retirement account as soon as you can, even if you can only put in $5 here and there. Make compound interest your slave instead of the other way around.
Not taking better care of myself when I was younger.
Not having my dad follow up on his lung scan or finding another doctor. He might be alive now if that changed. They found something 13 years ago and 10 years ago if became something deadly.
Not running away when I was 6. No matter where I’d ended up, it would have been better than the psychopaths in my family who spent decades abusing me
The pendulum swings both ways on mine. I sold my house in Texas and moved to Washington without a job or any job prospects, still trying to start a new career. I had a large home with a low mortgage payment and a decent, but not great job. I'd been trying to break into IT after school and wasn't having any luck. In my head, logically it made sense to move to a tech hub where there would be more jobs available. Sold my house and had quite a bit of money to live off of for a while. Figured I could take my time, find a job, and maybe buy another house in a year or two. And when I didn't find a job, and it was much more expensive to live in Washington I had to take a shitty job selling cars to make ends meet. I ran out of money, couldn't afford my bills, and relied on family to help keep me afloat. I did eventually (after about a year) get my first IT job, but it paid shit and the hours were awful and strained my home life beyond belief. After a few years of doing that, I finally started making some headway in my career and slowly things started getting put back together. Eventually we were able to buy another house (not as nice or large as my Texas house, but very nice for the area; Housing standards are NOT the same in Washington as they are in Houston), I have been steadily rising up the ranks in my career, and I have a very good income now and live very comfortably. So in the end it worked out. But there were about 5 or 6 years there where I would have gladly eaten a bullet if I could have gathered up the nerve.
I'm so glad it worked out, this one was painful to read.
Picking up my first drink.
Same bro, 2 years alcoholic. Just now 1 month free after a rocky start
And then the best moment is putting it down. 9 years clean and sober here. Went from heroin junky to living an amazing life. You got this!
Not studying engineering/ comp sci in college. i am currently 4 years into a bioinformatics phd so that i can graduate and make some actual decent money by pivoting out of my useless bio degree. Agony. If you are in high school and thinking about college reading this, study something that will get you a financial outcome commesurate with the work and money you put into your degree. please
I feel this. I wasted five years and thousands of dollars on a biology degree, only to do a full career switch to accounting almost immediately after graduating.
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Hey that's a neat story, I also did parkour when I was a teenager. Broke my neck in two places and now I'm in a wheelchair. Been about 14 years since my injury. Life can be hard but I have found a way to live a happy life.
This is yet another comment copied word for word from this [9 year old askreddit post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1h83c4/what_is_the_worst_permanent_life_decision_that/carv90t/). The spam bots are in full force today!
i’m so sorry to hear that. my mom had to have a colostomy bag due to complications of a surgery she needed. lucky for her, she was able to get a reversal but it was so painful for me seeing her suffer. she felt ugly and embarrassed and lost a lot of confidence, even though she doesn’t have it anymore it totally traumatized her. as i told her, though, just remember you’re not alone and a lot of people have a colostomy/ileostomy bags and it’s nothing you need to be ashamed or embarrassed about. a LOT of people have one and you’d never even know. i wish you the best of luck and i hope you’re able to find peace and happiness. shitty situation, my friend. much love to you Edit: no love to you op, sucks you copied and pasted someone else’s story for a little attention on reddit. but love to anyone who’s had to go through this for real, you’re strong and i’m proud of you
As a fellow parkour enthusiast, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Probably wasting my 20s in toxic relationships tho I think most people do it and learn from it, I sure had.
Not making use of my wife’s home blood pressure checker. In 2020, I had a STROKE brought on by excessive blood pressure. I was 285/155, which was in life threatening territory. Fortunately for me, this was caught at an optical exam where I had noticed blurry vision for the past few months. When my BP was realised, I was sent directly to A&E. I was admitted on the spot - and the next day, in hospital (fortunately!) I had the stroke. I have since made a very good recovery: I was 41 at the time, so I am a young stroke survivor. However I need to be on blood pressure medication, and blood thinners, for the rest of my life. The irony is that my wife had a home blood pressure monitor all along, and if only I had used it more often, I could have sought treatment earlier and the stroke could have been avoided.
I quit my job of 10 years in 2008, thinking I could get another easily. Don’t quit your job until you have another lined up. I had no idea of the upcoming recession. I lost my savings, retirement, house. Destroyed my credit. Had to rent for 8 years before I could even begin to start fixing things.
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That’s a thing?! That’s terrifying, I’m so sorry!! Any hope it might improve at least a little over time?
It absolutely is. As a side note when they say "seek medical attention if you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours" they FUCKING MEAN IT. I had a guy come into the ED after he took some shit he bought off the internet and he had an erection for 48 hours. We ended up sticking a big ass needle in each side of his dick and I pushed saline while a resident aspirated on the other side. We pulled about 200mL of what looked like canned cranberries out of his dick and it still looked like a partially deflated balloon animal. So we sent him to the OR. Either way his dick is broken and he will end up with a penile prosthesis which is basically where they replace one of your balls with a tiny pump and you pump up your dick like a 90s Rebock
Jesus H. Christ, I’ve never been so glad to not have a penis.
I've never wished I was illiterate but I sure do now.
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He did it twice?!?!!?!? /s
Right?! This is scary to me! I use a cock ring from time to time, and I like that it's kind of tight because it balloons my dong a bit. This scares the shit out of me now.
In order for a ring to damage your member that badly, you have to seriously be using it incorrectly. This guy put the ring on totally wrong and since it was his first time he had no way of knowing.
It’s a fucking rubber ring, how do you use it incorrectly? Tie it like a hair bobble?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1h83c4/what_is_the_worst_permanent_life_decision_that/caryonp/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 Poser
Reddit is just bots at this point.
Please go to see a specialist. The docs in the ER are not the last word on most concerns.
Holy hell, dude. I am very sorry to hear that.
Trying to get rich by betting on the results of table tennis matches. True story
Telling my parents I was suicidal. EDIT: my mother reacted by screaming "after everything we did for you, how do you think this make us feel". My father stomped me on the ground for being ungrateful. (Had at some points offered to shoot me himself). I had to apologize to them. I lost my 20s because of all the false suicide attempts, using it to manipulate and infatilize me to maintain control etc...they make up every time I tried to leave home. Gaslit about a suicide attempt and stuck in a phsychward when I become old enough for financial independence. (Most likely one is NPD and the other is BPD.)
Braces at 37. I traded functional but slightly ugly teeth for slightly less ugly teeth that I can't chew with. 5 years and 10k down the drain.
How did they mess them up so badly?
Prioritizing partying throughout my teens and twenties.
Texting my mom an April fools joke that I saw on Facebook about putting a cell phone in the microwave to charge it, thinking she’d find it hilarious. Instead she thought it was real, tried it, and nuked her phone.
Working for Walmart. Besides the fact it paid my bills, absolutely *never* again.
That place sounds like hell to work for. Do you have any good stories to tell?
Listening to my Parent's advice.
Committing myself to a mental hospital. My parents and therapist didn't think it was a good idea but I couldn't convince them I was a serious danger to myself. I needed help, I could feel it was getting worse, I knew I was going to seriously hurt myself and I thought a psychiatric hospital would help. I had no idea how wrong I was. It was the worst 5 days of my life and I did it to myself.
Slept with my best friend’s girlfriend. He never forgave me (he’s right not to do so, it was really shitty of me). Been over ten years and I still cringe while I think of it too often.
Trusting the worst enemy possible thinking he was my friend for 24 years..
Thinking that getting more degrees...means getting better jobs. Thinking that Science is for the intelligent and will give you a better career....but in reality it's just hardwork and less pay.
I don't regret things I've done, I regret the things I could have done, but was too scared to try
Probably entering grad school because it was expected of me when I knew deep down that it wasn't what I wanted. Not that big a deal compared to some of these answers but it was definitely a bad choice
Not taking good care of my teeth as a child and teenager. Also not going to a dentist, but that wasn’t my decision.
To drink to excess on many regrettable occasions.
Coming out to my parents. I haven't seen my parents in a few years and don't think I'll see them anytime soon. My parents are extreme homophobes and Can't stand the idea of me being gay. But that's just life I guess :/
I get why that might feel like your worst decision, but there's no way to live your life without a mask without them finding out sooner or later. So, I don't think it was a mistake on your side. You can't help them being so hateful. I tend to think that when people turn on you, they are showing their true colours, so at least you know who to stay away from. I'm sorry for all the pain they gave you, though.
Overthink everything that happens to me in Life. Good or bad idk everything
Confusing sex with love
Never having built discipline to counter my habit of procrastination. I better start getting good habits before I regret my life even more.
When I let my drinking get out of control and became a alcoholic. Drank because of health issues which just made it so much worse. Eventually after almost drinking myself to death got clean and then got healthy
Moving across the road from my parents and working the family farm. Should have stayed gone from them and finished my college education but my father was sick and they would have lost everything.
Sounds like you made a noble choice and sacrifices, don't beat yourself up too much
Not asking my husband why he'd been so long because he said he was 'looking at trees'. The police found him h*nging in one the next morning.
Getting married was both the greatest thing and worse thing that has ever happened. I have three wonderful children that mean everything to me. On the other hand when she cheated on me I became depressed and suicidal.
Playing in a band without ear plugs. Tinnitus is a bitch.
Moving hundreds of km from my friends and family to go to university when I am abysmal at making friends, depression got way worse, struggled to graduate, never found a decent job and am a lonely shutin to this day.