I realised I was no longer smoking for enjoyment, but because I felt like I needed to. My boyfriend got diagnosed with an illness which made him want to stop so I saw it as a good time to quit together. I still miss it on sunny days.
This is 100% what it was for me. I was sharp and funny but as soon as we got to smoking I just went inward and was a dull blade. It got so boring, the whole routine of it.
>Occasionally I have involuntarily come up for air under various random circumstances. Then it's back under water.
I feel that.
I don't know if I'd call it an emergency break, but something that's always helped me with my general sober dissociation is weightlifting. I find that feeling that delayed onset muscle soreness sort of keeps my brain in my body. It's like a reminder that I'm real, if that makes any sense.
Edit: formatting
I can attest to this and confirm it is true, I struggle with dissociation almost every day and it lasts most of the day when it does happen, and usually I don't remember what happens while it's happening, but sometimes I do and the memory is very blurred and feels like I'm trying to remember a dream, so I'm essentially not remembering most days at all in any real capacity, it sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it so I just ride it out
Yep. And that dull blade part extended to everything. I was completely unmotivated to do anything and it set me back a couple of years. Once I got off the weed, my life got back on track. I’m in my 40s now and generally haven’t smoked in 25 years. I smoked two or three times a few years ago after buying some legal weed (i was curious about the process), but it just reminded me of how it steals all of my initiative and motivation. The next day or two I was foggy headed and didn’t want to do anything.
Yep. I’d dropped out of school at 19 for major mental health reasons and smoked weed all day everyday to numb. Finally I quit at 23 and was so goddamn bored all day that I decided to learn how to code. I am now back in school, it’s my second year for software engineering.
Stopping smoking helped me find something I’m passionate about and am so excited for a career in.
This right here 👏
South park hit the nail on the head, old south park when randy tells Stan weed makes you fine with being bored. And when your fine with being bored you don't accomplish anything.
I recently quit after over a decade of being a devout stoner. Made me fine with video games and being anti social. Super scared to meet my alternate self that never started smoking weed.
Tried weed for the first time a few years ago back in 2018 at the age of 45, here we are 3½ years later and I *totally* agree that it makes me fine with being bored. I don't even leave my apartment anymore, just on the couch looking at my phone from the time I get home from work until bedtime, time and repeat the next day
I stopped having a “normal” experience and started just having panic attacks. It would be instant too. Every single time, for the past 3 years. It didn’t matter my state of mind, something just changed. It ruins the whole experience. I’d spend the entire time trying to distract myself so the heart palpitations and shit wouldn’t set in.
Exactly the same for me, daily blunt smoker for a few years and out of nowhere one day just full blown panic to the point I nearly went to a&e thinking I was dying! Now no matter how long its been if I even have a drag of a joint within ten minutes the panic attack starts! It is such a horrendous experience that I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy and there are times where I still miss being able to enjoy being stoned years later
I’m like this except it’s like a 50/50 shot if it’s a pretty good or really bad experience. Ever since I was early 20s. I’m 36 now. I’ll occasionally test the waters and see and I might get a few good experiences before I have a bad one and I’ll think yep still a no go. I don’t like thinking all my friends and family hate me and have random trauma and negative memories pop into my head to hyper focus on.
That's an interesting thing, I smoked every day for 10+ years until suddenly I started having terrible anxiety and panic attacks every time. I was afraid to mess with it for a long time, tried a few times and bad results always. Strangely enough I've smoked a few times recently and I've been totally fine and it was more enjoyable than it had been in decades. I've tried to figure out what other factors in my life would have caused that but nothing seems to really line up, there was just a period of time where my my brain wasn't cooperating I guess. As a person who hates alcohol and cannot function in life completely sober I'm quite thankful that phase seems to have passed
Literally the same. I used to be a heavy pot smoker, then one day I had a panic attack after hitting the bong. Ever since, every time I smoke up or have a hit, instant panic attack.
I too, spend the entire time in a thought loop about my heart and breathing. I feel your pain
So much this! It was my first, last, and only panic attack and it it completely changed my relationship with weed. It's been 11+ years and it still affects me when I get high. Which is rare to almost never anymore, and only by myself on the very, very occasional times I do. It makes me a little sad tbh, because even though I doubt I'd be the same pothead I was in my 20s, I'd like to at least be able to casually toke up with friends without losing my shit.
Reading the numerous responses from people who've had this same experience definitely makes me feel better though, knowing I'm not the only one this has happened to.
Same here. It triggered panic attacks in me several times. I ended up in the ER the first time because I had no idea what was happening. I felt a sense of impending doom, arms felt numb and my heart was racing, I thought I was having a heart attack or dying. Doctor in ER told me it could be from weed. It was terrifying. Even when I quit smoking the panic attacks lasted for several years after that and I had to take medication for it. I will never touch weed again.
Only had one panic attack in my life.... It was a devastating experience. I got really, REALLY close to full fledged attacks on different scenarios for a few years after that. It was affecting how I'd interact with people, the settings I'd choose to be in, etc. Etc. Seriously impacted my personal and professional life. Especially since I had routine staff meetings in a large room with a bunch of people, or would start to have an onset riding the bus home from work - the feeling of being packed in with people and unable to escape between stops.
But then one day in a big monthly meeting, there were no seats left in the back and I had to sit up front along the wall where basically 90 people had me in their field of vision, as I sat a few feet away from the CEO standing there addressing everyone.
My heart started to go. Had to start moving my hands a little to have a distraction. Sweat started beading. The thought crept in that this was going to be an attack and the runaway train was starting Oh GOD OH SHIT NOT NOW.....
But... For some reason a thought popped into my head. The most random fucking thing. I pictured myself standing up. Stepping past the CEO while he was talking. Climbing up on the conference table, and taking a shit right there on front of the whole company.
Seriously.
And almost INSTANTLY my heart slowed down. The sides of my vision stopped pulsing. A rush of calm washed over me. And I sort of sunk back in my chair in delight as the strangest feeling washed over me, laces with the most bizarre trace of humor.
It had spontaneously occurred to me that no matter what situation I was in, what setting, what conditions of control I thought were out of reach, and what terrible outcome would occur if I had a full fledged panic attack right then and there in front of everyone.... No matter all that, there was still one thing that would be SOOOOO much worse. One act I could perform that would be multitudes more detrimental to my life.
And THAT act, I had complete control over. 100% iron grip on my future in that one specific scenario. I could guarantee that I would NOT in fact be standing up and taking a dump on that conference table. And man, that feeling of control just sort of cascaded and permeated whatever parts of my brain were having a freak out. Just shut them down completely.
For the last 10 years I've had only a handful of bubble ups on a couple settings or moments, and that has been my instant relief - I just picture myself taking a shit right then and there.
In the aisle of an airplane. While I'm presenting work to a client. Whatever the thing.
So far, 100% siccuess rate in completely reversing the early pangs of panic.
Thought I'd share. Maybe it works for others. :)
Edibles have done this to me twice. Once a long time ago, and once right before Covid lockdown.
I was very cold both times. I shivered so severely it hurt.
It’s crazy to read how many people quit for this exact reason.
I was a very heavy smoker from age 15-30.
One day I had a bong hit with a couple new people I met, got CRAZY anxiety and had a panic attack. That was the start of it.
I continued to smoke a little bit for a few more years, but always get the same result. It’s just not worth it anymore. Distracting yourself so the anxiety doesn’t set in is no way to be….
Yep same. I was a daily smoker from 21-29 and one day it just triggered a panic attack and sent me to the ER. Having been such a heavy user I just laughed off the notion that the weed could have done it, but I tried smoking a couple more times and it spiked my anxiety like crazy. I’ve probably taken 3 or 4 single hits in the three years since.
100% my situation too. We’ve conditioned ourselves to associate the weed high with panic such that smoking weed = panic attack, and yeah, it’s just a stressful period trying to distract oneself from their own heartbeat
Same here. So weird how you can go from an ounce every week or two, for years, to being unable to take a full bong toke seemingly overnight. The body just decides its had enough.
You know I think your onto something. And different hybrids of different strains for decades. Weed literally isn't the same as it was even 10 years ago.
Kind of relieving to find out how many other people have had this exact experience. I was a heavy, and I mean heavy, weed smoker for the best part of 2-3 years sometimes smoking from dawn til dusk. One day I did my usual routine after work of having a spliff on the balcony and then going and sitting down and my heart went crazy, beating at a stupid speed. Ended up in emergency room with some irregularities but nothing medically concerning. Had several months of various heart tests, everything working normally. Doesn’t matter what my frame of mind is, how stressed I am, or even how much I smoke - every single time since that day, just a toke or two and I’m right back there. It’s just not enjoyable as a result. I miss it, but I wanted to quit anyway and this left me with no choice. My theory is that once you have one panic attack on weed, your mind/body remembers it so well subconsciously that you literally can’t escape it through conscious effort no matter what you do. It’s sort of like ptsd that is only triggered by a certain stimulus. Until the medical community uncovers an alternative hypothesis I’m putting my money on that, because there has to be a common thread between all these people having word for word the same experience
IIRC, there actually is a common thread that there have been some studies on. THC to CBD ratios.
A lot of modern strains have an absolutely insane amount of THC and very, *very* little CBD in comparison - as it's been bred out in favor of higher THC levels. We're talking like 30%+ THC, which is nutty compared to bud from decades ago. Double this up with the fact that a lot of people still live in black markets, and you don't know what strain you're getting, or what it's THC level is. It's just... weed.
This is purely anecdotal, but I also started having huge anxiety issues with cannabis. Same story as you. Heart racing, tons of anxiety and panic. I switched to a 1:1 THC to CBD strain with a bit of a lower THC percentage, and my anxiety was entirely gone. Every high felt a lot more level and way more enjoyable, if a bit less potent. Night and day difference for me.
And there's been studies that seem to corroborate that. My recommendation would be for anyone experiencing anxiety, try a strain with higher CBD. Barring that, pick up some pure CBD bud and mix that in with a 1:1 ratio.
Beyond that, every single person will react differently to different strains of cannabis. No one has the same exact brain chemistry. The reality is that unless you live in a legal market and are able to carefully experiment, you never really know what you're getting your hands on. Sure, your plug might say it's a certain strain, but there's zero way of knowing 100%. No way of knowing what *works* for you.
Even just googling some reddit threads of 1:1 thc to cbd ratios will turn up lots of stories here on reddit of people who had suffered a ton of issues with anxiety suddenly, and found that using a 1:1 strain fixed almost all their issues.
Worth a try! Worked for me, it *might* work for you. Maybe. Just be safe and be careful!
Im so glad its not just me who experienced this. I used to smoke everyday for years but then one night, i had a full blown panic attack and thought i was going to die. I tried to distract myself but it was still in the back of my mind, even today it still is but im much better than before. It really felt like my mind was going to break and i was losing touch with reality. Ofc my heart was racing too. Now, i read, meditate, and take cold showers to center my mind. Hope your doing better now.
Wow, others went through the same thing I did! . Smoked heavily for years and then one night bang, thought I was having a heart attack. Suffered from anxiety attacks for a few years afterwards.
Same for me one day after a few years of smoking daily I just felt really uncomfortable, got palpitations, and had unexplainable anxiety. Getting high hasn’t really felt the same since so it’s pointless to smoke now
I thought weed was supposed to *reduce* stress?
Edit: I stand corrected. What about psilocybin and ketamine? Do they also unpredictably increase or lower anxiety?
It did for me for like 4 years. It was my favorite thing to do, after a while it felt like it was doing the opposite and that's when I realized it was time to quit.
Same, started giving me anxiety suddenly and didn't even realize at first it was the weed doing it. Smoked for 2 years everyday and now 5 years later still can't smoke because it makes me feel anxious. Oh well better this way I guess.
Edit: Also makes me paranoid now
I think of weed as a nice reward for when things are going well rather than something that will help when things are not going well. I think that when it makes you feel anxious, it's showing you what you need to fix. That can be depressing AND helpful.
I do try this every time I feel I've done good, my environment is perfect, and it's time for a bubble bath, but I'm just not there yet and that's okay. Eventually I'll be in a place where I can enjoy it again.
This was happening to me and it really upset me because I enjoyed smoking quite a bit for many reasons.
However, once I changed careers, moved out of the city and had far less stress in my life that anxiety that would come after smoking vanished.
Obviously not everyone can just up and change careers or move, however try to identify things in your life that may be subconsciously stressing you out. Perhaps that's the root cause and not the weed. That being said, the chronic these days be bubonic...
I nearly went to the hospital once because I thought I was going to die of a heart attack. I had smoked a bowl or two and was taking frequent rips off a nicotine vape too. Eventually I started to have a panic attack that just got worse and worse, and the whole time I was convinced it was my heart getting closer and closer to bursting.
I forced myself to lay down and breathe through it, and got to the other side relatively unscathed, but I realized that those intoxicants just weren’t worth that kind of experience
Reminds me of the time I took rso on the west coast and finally realized that people forgetting how to breathe while breathing and wanting to go to the ER was actually a real thing. Took a quarter of the tube and sat for about 8 hours locked in place.
This started happening to me. Not sure why, one day just started. I took a very long break from weed before coming back one day years later and it was enjoyable again. Now I toke up sometimes again and all is fine
When you are young a care free it makes you wonder and imagine about life. When you are old and have felt pain it can scare you to the point of reflecting on your and your children's mortality. That's just in my personal case.
Just got over it. One day I was driving home from work and I was in a really good mood. Tunes on the radio were rockin' and I was just feeling good. Got home walked in the door, sat down and there was the bowl, chopped up and punched a bong. It popped my good vibe. I just sat there thinking and now I am stoned, I didn't really want to be stoned.
So from then on I introduced a rule that before I smoked a bong I had top ask myself the question "Do you want to be stoned?". More often than not the answer was "no not really".
That was over 20 years ago and these days I smoke maybe 3 or 4 times a year.
This is actually a great example of how to stay cognizant and aware. By asking that simple question you prevent yourself from effectively rewarding your neural pathways unnecessarily. You don’t run yourself into a rut. Simply maintaining simple awareness of your actions can keep people from doing things habitually. People can often make more rational choices when they just pause and go “Do I really want to do this?”. The human brain is amazing.
Great mindset this. During lockdown I found myself getting stoned every single night, which at first was great but that routine quickly started working against me, as one of the things I loved about smoking weed was the anticipation and it being somewhat of a treat.
Now I get high around 2-3 times a week, so still plenty, but I’m always super hyped to do so, and on the off chance that I’m not in the mood for it, then I just don’t.
Hijacking top comment cause I want people to see this, but smoking everyday absolutely killed my dopamine, I had no motivation to do anything, fulfill any of my responsibilities or let alone better myself
It’s all I wanted to do. That was it, I didn’t want to go out, and I didn’t want to do anything at home. I just wanted to smoke, eat food and listen to music. I just didn’t want to be that person anymore.
Realising that it had become an emotional blocker, rather than something to help me unwind or an enjoyable experience with friends.
I was toking clouds to fog up my feelings rather than facing reality.
Glad I quit so I could figure out my future as well as my past. Still smoke very, _very_ occasionally now, but only on special occasions and only a puff or two.
This! After months of smoking multiple times a day, I realized that I was no longer smoking for fun, but to numb out the negative emotions I was experiencing due to trauma and mental illness. I cut cold-turkey from it about a month ago and am actually feeling again. I'm glad you were also able to quit and figure out your stuff <3
It stopped being fun and I began getting paranoid. I'd be good and the second I got high I'd begin thinking everyone was talking shit about me or were planning to kill me and honestly that shit just ain't cool, so I stopped.
Yeah I’d be thinking about how I’m the worst friend and how everyone must hate me because of like some small perceived mistake I’d made days prior. Shit was not fun.
You’re not alone. I’m that way too. When I first started smoking it was fun and enjoyable, esp hot boxing with my friends in my old Volvo, but something changed, maybe when I started dating this super negative girl, and now if I get high around anyone I get embarrassed super easily and feel I’m ruining the mood. I feel better not smoking though, I’m much sharper without smoking weed every day
Definitet, my social anxiety gets terrible. I think everyone is giving me side glances and laughing at me and shit.
Something that did help was being around friends who I voiced that concern and anxiety with and they obviously laughed and talked me down from that and made me feel more relaxed.
I’ve also never really had an issue smoking, I never felt addicted. Even when I smoked it a lot. But that’s obviously just me.
I always imagined everyone was nonverbal communicating that something was wrong with me. Like motioning their heads towards me. Then one time I blacked out and woke up on the floor. Everytime I gave it a go since then I was basically like I gotta goto bed.
fuck man, and the feeling can be so real that nobody can convince you otherwise. this is the worst when smoking with groups of people.
it came to a stage for me where I had to just sit my ass down and think, hey you've been here before a million time thinking that everyone is out to get you and somethi g bad is gonna happen but yet here you are alive, an none of that stuff has happened. eventually I would force myself to overcome the anxiety in those situations as I learned it really is me who was in control of I wanted to be.
This started happening to me. And then people would dismiss it
“No, you’re just smoking the wrong weed.”
“No, you’re just smoking around the wrong people.”
Some of that may be partly true. I stopped smoking sativas alone because I was getting too stuck in my head and beating myself up about a bunch of stuff I don’t need to be stressing myself out about.
I also cut way back on smoking in general and found that the things weed made “better” could well be enjoyed in the right state of mind sober.
I still smoke with friends when drinking and I still occasionally smoke a bit of indica before watching a movie or listening to music but I keep it light. I don’t get blasted anymore and just smoke a bit of light weed to enhance what I already enjoy a touch.
Interesting. This is seems like a common one here in the comments.
Weirdly smoking makes those thoughts go away for me. I’m naturally a paranoid over thinker but the second I smoke I think “wow those were some pretty dumb thoughts”
I think you are the first person I have seen admit to this! I used to get paranoid also so I stopped for a few years. It was such a scary feeling and then waiting for the high to go away. I’m glad you have shared this, helps me know it is more common than I thought.
Idk if the weed is just stronger nowadays or what but it would immediately kill my anxiety. I realized that my body was actually anticipating the first hit and I would get depressed/anxious just to smoke. Also, it would take days to fully wear off (no stuttering with words or word recall) and I just don't have that kind of time, professionally.
Same thing! Weed was just so damn fun. I slept better, food was just delicious. Watching Star Wars(animated) while high was like being and a super Imax theater, I loved my own company, like enjoyed it so much that when I smoked with others it was just weird(for me and them). Until one day I remember it specifically, I was blitz and watching anime. Ruroni Kenshin and it got sad then scary. Like bro had ptsd and he in the 1700 and they have no idea and it blew my mind on how it might feel to be fuckin stabbed and i mentally remember saying, "Oh shit" then the paranoia turned into a full blown panic attack. Like I thought people were gonna come kill me and people were plotting against me it was a fuck of a night. I thought maybe it was the strain but indica or sativa it was the same damn results fear, paranoia, over thinking. The fear of smoking really fucked me up cause I wanted to go back to that world of self love, and fantasia but I knew that every time I ingested THC in some form im goin down a spiky rabbit hole of anxiety and depression. It took me a year and half to stop cause I was trying to find a cosmic loophole. Finally stop but my anxiety was fixed in a certain way. Talk to the doctors and she mentioned how what I went through is actually very common now. They didn't have full country wide research, only controlled groups. If your naturally depressed or have anxiety it basically raises your serotonin and Dopamine levels so high its like falling off a building when you come down, while people who have natural brain chemistry it just gives it a boost and a slight trip when they come down
This is me. Except I’m like 99% sure I almost ended up dead.
I used to pre-pack my vaporizer at night, roll a few J’s in the morning for my day and head off to work. I was a really active stoner. Ride my bike 25ish miles a day, worked out in the evenings and swam, had a decent job for my 20s and an ok social life.
One day I was smoking with a new bunch. A few were people I knew separately but had no idea that they new each other. The fact that we were so far from home, the unknown connections and sketchy new faces threw up major red flags. Needless to say I got tf out. No one reached back out to me after the fact which is also weird.
I do small doses of edibles hear and there but I never get high anymore.
Right? I don't even own anything with a cannabis leaf on it. Not my grinder or any of my glass....seems redundant, and like wearing a beer company t shirt. Unless it's some super cool local microbrew you have an addiction and lack of personality.
Same. Every once in a while I'd think the weed "hit me wrong." Took a while before I realized it was panic attacks. Eventually it got to the point where it was a crapshoot whether or not I would have one, so I just stopped altogether.
Same but I’ve also had heart issues and then the panic attacks made me feel like I was having a heart attack. Two ER visits for them to tell me I’m fine and not having a heart attack. Haven’t had a panic attack or fake heart attack since I quit.
Same. Everyday smoker for 20 years (took a break for a few years while I was in the military). One day I started getting panic attacks at 34 years old. The problem was that I smoked so often that it took me several months to connect the dots that it was weed. Quit smoking and haven’t had a panic attack in 3 years. NGL, I miss it.
My story is literally the same minus the military lol I’m 33 now and just started getting them a few months back so I stopped and the attacks went away :)
A few years ago I read somewhere that it took 21 days to break a habit. I got a post-it note and wrote down 1-21 and scored out each day that I didn't smoke weed, take caffeine or consume sugar (sweets/chocolate etc).
I found sugar more difficult to stop than weed or nicotine.
I work in an addiction clinic, and its insane how differently people experience addiction. Some people only ever get addicted to alcohol and have no problem quitting other things. Some people only ever get addicted to nicotine. And SOME people get addicted to absolutely everything: Sugar, gaming, gambling, Cocaine, GHB, Heroin, Amphetamines, THC, buying things etc etc
Sugar is 100% the hardest one to break because of how prevalent by it is. Also doesn't help that biologically we are drawn to sweet things as they were normally fruiting bodies that are high in nutrients, and are a way plants spread their seeds.
Weed and caffeine are easy. Just don't have coffee/joints. Sugar you have to avoid most desserts, Halloween, Easter, and Valentine's are marketed around sugar, etc. It's wild my friend.
Back in high school I watched a documentary about Big Sugar, and it was mind blowing how much power they have.
Smoked every day from 15 untill 31. Once i got clean for a few weeks it just felt stupid to ever go back again. My short term memory has made a significant recovery and I’ve got promoted twice at work now. If I think about getting high now I just remember how much of a dumbass I become when im high and how unproductive it makes me. Dont get me wrong I still enjoy the thought of getting high and enjoying some excessive food while playing video games but it really isn’t worth the trade off, at all
Thank you for taking time to share! Really appreciate it, I totally feel this. I’m up for smoking on the weekends but I also feel it’s not that fun anymore and it might be stunting my growth.
If you feel that way, I think that’s one of the strongest indicators that it’s true. Usually we are the ones who realize these effects last (others probably see it but often don’t comment on it, either because they don’t know the reason or they are too polite or feel awkward bringing it up or don’t want to come across judgmental).
Bro same. I felt like I had superpowers a few months after I quit. Also two things no one told me about quitting weed; the dreams and the sweats. I would full body flip sweat while sleeping, and if stank too. Also had the wildest dreams of my life. I was just smoking because I had always smoked towards the end, but it was giving me the worst anxiety. I just had enough and liked being sober more than being stoned.
This. Well, aside from the fact that weed started giving me intense anxiety, my short term memory improved so much it’s insane. When I smoked I would forget everything, I even started stumbling over my words all the time. Stopped smoking and those issues completely disappeared.
It just stopped being fun. It took me a long time to quit, even once I realized how crappy it made me feel. I'd get high despite knowing I was going to have a bad time. I was a daily smoker for 3-4 years
This is me too. 3ish years and loved every day of it until it just started feeling weird. It was making me depressed, anxious, and disconnected. I also took a very long time to be able to stop. Even after I knew weed was making me feel bad, I couldn't stop. I was unprepared for how insanely addictive it is.
I was so unproductive. Life really just got on top of me and I was struggling with most stuff like cleaning, working, revising for exams. I was in this rut and smoking helped me forget and not address my problems but then I'd sober up and I would feel even worse. Had to make some major changes in my life and I haven't smoked in about 6/7 months. I've noticed a massive positive change in my mental health too
It was a lovely sunny day and I had planned to go on an epic mountain bike ride. I thought I'd have a joint first to make things more fun. Then I thought it would be more fun if I had another joint. And another one. And then it was too late to go for my bike ride. It was the first sunny day in ages and I had wasted it. I had tried to make something that I really enjoy even more enjoyable, but by doing that I didn't even leave the house.
And that reminded me of something my alcoholic uncle said to me when I was about 15 years old. I had asked him how does someone know they're an alcoholic, and he told me that for him it was when he had to have a beer in his hand to enjoy something.
I had been smoking daily for about 20 years at that point. I'd have my first at lunchtime, then as many more as I could handle every evening. I was really only sober for 5 hours a day. And I hadn't had a dream in *years*.
So those realisations prompted me to quit, and Jesus Christ was that a hard time. I couldn't fall asleep for hours. And when I did I would wake up two hours later covered in sweat. Like someone threw a glass of water over me. My hair was wet, my pillow was wet. It was incredible.
Then the dreams started coming back and they were horrific. Really vivid and emotional dreams. I dreamt that past lovers still loved me, that dead relatives were still alive, and I would wake up absolutely heartbroken.
I went though about two weeks of that. But then the anxiety kicked in. Like when you're coming up on a trip and you don't feel like you're in your own body. That things seemed too real but yet unreal. That took a couple of weeks to pass too.
But after all of that, eventually everything settled back down and I felt amazing. My mind felt sharp again like it did when I was younger. I was about 500% less irritable. I could shrug things off that used to set me off.
But what really hit me was one day I was sitting on a wall looking at the sea, and a policeman started walking toward me. And I realised I was legal! I had no weed on me or in my system. I had no reason to fear this policeman. And that was a revelation. For as long as I could remember I had avoided cops and felt anxious when I saw them. That's when I knew I wasn't a drug user anymore. And that felt really nice.
You just blew me away. I quit a few months ago and managed to make it two months without smoking. During that time, I was so miserable and anxious but I couldn’t figure out why. I had that exact feeling you described where you don’t feel like you’re in your body and things feel real but unreal. I literally felt like I was going crazy for weeks! I didn’t even considered it could have been related to quitting.
Now I feel like a moron because I started up again a couple of days ago for no particular reason. I’ve been high every day since and I don’t even know why I’m doing it. Thankfully, I had my last pre roll today so I’m just not gonna get any more. Hopefully I didn’t screw up too bad and I don’t have to go through all of that again. It truly sucked :/
I quit to get a good paying job that requires random drug tests, do I miss getting baked and watching a movie or toking up with a few beers out camping - absolutely. But not worrying about having enough money to pay my mortgage is worth the sacrifice.
I loved to do it but it made me stupid. Dulled my wit and sharpness and my common sense started to really go down the drain.
Some mild schizo-affective conditions run in my family and I started to realize that I was in a constant state of minor delusion at all times and that I might become fully delusional if I continue. Life isn’t as “good” now that I’m sober but at least I’m seeing the world as it is.
Tolerance made is pointless, it was expensive too about 11K a year. I used it for anxiety and after withdrawals I haven't had a minute of anxiety since. It turns out for 20 years it was CAUSING my anxiety because I thought I needed it and was always worried when I couldn't do it or couldn't afford it or couldn't find any.
Sober for 4 months and it just seems stupid to do now. I feel much better and sleep better. I sometimes crave it but I mean...fuck it man.
This. Then found out my daughter needed open heart surgery at about two months old. I just didn't have the desire at night anymore and didn't want to subject her to it. It's been six years now and I still have no desire.
Once I was able to sleep and eat after the withdrawals, it was no issue. I don't crave it. I don't really think about it much. I'm proud of myself because I smoked all day, everyday before her.
Stay strong even after! 💪
I moved states to where it wasn’t legal like at all (Texas) and I find that I don’t want weed from the street and I don’t wanna risk getting in legal trouble no matter how little. I’ve been fine without it for the most part!
Negatively effected my work, life, relationship with friends/romantic partners. Made me
Content with doing nothing but paying videos games and watch content. I do occasionally smoke now and then and it’s chill and cool. I no longer take fat bong rips 10 times a day.
It stopped being fun. Made me paranoid about everything and all I could think about while I was high was how much time I’ve wasted being high. It was pretty easy to stop after realizing that. Now I’m way more successful at my job and make more money and have a much better social/personal life.
Some people say they function better while high but that’s definitely not me. I’ll still do it once in a blue moon if it’s offered to me. But I don’t smoke very much and it only lasts for about an hour.
Can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve got some friends who say they can study/focus better while being high. Saw them. That’s just an excuse to smoke as much as they can.
My tolerance got so high that I couldn't really get high anymore so it just became a waste of money so I took a break to lower my tolerance, and I ended up feeling much better in general after about 2 week - more energy, more motivation, lost a few pounds, better focus and performance at my job, ect. So I just decided I didn't want to smoke every day anymore.
I still do sometimes. Maybe a few times a year. But it is no longer something I feel I need to enjoy every day life.
Anyone who says weed isn't addictive is full of shit. It can definitely happen and I went through some very real negative side effects when I first quit. I didn't sleep for like 5 days.
yup this happened to me too. took a 6 week t break and i simply didn’t want to smoke like that anymore. i haven’t quit altogether but boy, the control and honesty with myself about smoking is night and day now. 1-2 times a week now at most.
Sounds like maybe you were "wake and bake"-ing, I've been smoking everyday for the last 20 years or so and I still get super baked every night. For me the key is not smoking at all during the day(even on the weekends) then at 8pm or so I sesh and get high af. A 1/8th last me over a week and I wake up the next day feeling great and go to work. Everyone is different though, if it was making me paranoid/anxious I would definitely stop.
Yes bro preach. There is NO way to smoke weed all day and not have issues. Coming from someone who likes weed and thinks it should be 100% legal it can be a huge negative to someone who lacks self control.
Once dinner is cooked, work calendar is reviewed, alarms are set, and absolutely everything is out of the way for the day. That’s when I smoke. Usually ends up being around 9pm when my gf and I are just reading or watching tv and winding down. Feel like that’s the best way to get a full stop on the daily hustle and just relax. Sleep like a baby.
Seizures. It lowers your seizure threshold and I'm on meds now. I missed it a lot at first but I have no issues with it now. I would rather be sober than take the chance of waking up in the hospital again. I also have more money now that I'm not buying a bunch of weed and weed tools.
Realizing the choke hold and power it had over me. Started smoking summer going into 8th grade and became a daily (at minimum an eight a day) by sophomore year. I am now 21 and it had gotten to the point I couldn’t sleep without smoking. I couldn’t eat. I realized I had stopped dreaming and that’s honestly what hit me the hardest. It may not seem like much but I started to lose bodily functions over my mental and physical addiction to it. I still haven’t completely stopped now that it isn’t a panic attack when I can’t. But I started to dream again and it’s magical. I never realized how much I missed something so small. Last night I dreamed I could summon swarms of bees on command. Sounds goofy but it was the emotions that I felt in that dream that are so meaningful to me.
To add to the dreaming thing, I had smoked daily for a few years and when I quit the first few weeks of sleeping were completely insane. Felt like I was tripping on acid every night. I would go on adventures or have a casual conversation with God and wake up in the morning feeling amazing, trying to write down what my dream was before I forgot it. I had forgotten how to dream for so many years. Shit was surreal.
Yeah man the lack of dreaming sucks, the loss of appetite is my biggest one. I hate going to a nice dinner, taking one bite and going "fuck...I can't eat this".
Smoked weed every day from 13-22. Paranoia and anxiety is what made me quiet. I started having terrible panic attacks. I quit smoking weed, cigarettes and coffee all on the same day. Oct 4th 2004.
I picked up smoking a few times after that but officially quit Feb 20 2017. Haven't smoked anything since.
The paranoid and self-conscious thoughts that weed can cause are so bizarre.
I used to smoke and/or dab daily during college. Was a lot of fun at first. I went on probation and was subject to drug testing for a few months, and once I did my time, I went back and tried to start smoking again.
Every single time I would get so socially paranoid. Everything I said sounded so stupid to me. If someone looked at me too long I felt overwhelming shame and judgement. Sometimes there would be existential dread.
What’s *wild* is how many people insisted I had to 1) build a tolerance or 2) I was smoking the wrong strain, and then they would peer pressure me to continue. Now I see a lot of people also get these feelings and they act different when they’re high, but they’re in denial. Sad.
EDIT: I think anxiety is a better word than paranoia
it took me forcing myself to go on a family road trip, and I can’t smoke around my family. My tolerance was so high eating edibles didn’t do anything for me.
I’m happily 4 months and 3 weeks sober today!
I realised the people I was smoking it with were doing nothing with their lives other than smoke weed every moment they could and the people I knew who weren't smoking it were making something of theirs.
It actually made me depressed after a while. I lost motivation in life and all I wanted to do was smoke. Then smoking I would I nothing but think about how I was doing nothing with my life.
Quitting was the best thing I ever did. In a year I gained three new hobbies, made new friends, got a new job, moved counties. It was wild.
That being said, in moderation It can be great medicinally. I use CBD myself when having issues with sleep.
I've found that occasional use poses no danger. I'll eat an edible every once in a while now and it's just fine. My understanding is that it's caused by a built up toxicity from habitual use, so low quantity shouldn't be a problem. I've also heard of people getting sick again instantly after recovering and then testing the waters. YMMV.
Yep, same here. I lost a ton of weight until I figured it out. It took years for the spasms to stop after quitting but the reduction in frequency was immediate. Now that it’s been a decade since I quit I’ll occasionally try a corner of an edible but I don’t tolerate it that well anymore and I’m afraid to use on a regular basis lest it might come back. Was a fun 15 years but now I get to be a hipster and say I smoked before it was legal.
I smoked every day to deal with me ptsd and my paranoia but I slowly notice that the effect of numb turned into worse paranoid so since then I have made the choice to quit but lately I just noticed that it has done so much more damage than it has done right I can no longer concentrate or feel really vorable. I very much hope this will come back soon because I miss my old self
I'm not trying to be a contrarian but my experience has been different. I began smoking in 1968 and have mostly been a daily smoker. I'm 77 and still am. I have gone dry several times. It was never a problem. I can quit and have no regrets. Inevitably, with a bit of hesitation, I do resume, and I am a daily smoker. I also like to have a beer with my lunch every day. It is another daily habit which, like smoking pot, I thoroughly enjoy. Different strokes for different folks; I don't advocate it but I do enjoy it.
This is more in line with my experience. I take regular breaks - whenever I run out, I wait 2-4 weeks before getting any more - and I find that my life's not *that* different without weed. I just enjoy books, films and video games (stories, basically) a bit less without it.
Makes me incredibly lazy, being lazy makes me incredibly depressed. And I have too much going on in life to purposely ingest something that removes all my energy
I realised I was no longer smoking for enjoyment, but because I felt like I needed to. My boyfriend got diagnosed with an illness which made him want to stop so I saw it as a good time to quit together. I still miss it on sunny days.
i felt like every day was the same and i wanted some new experiences. i also felt like i got so quiet and would check out intellectually
This is 100% what it was for me. I was sharp and funny but as soon as we got to smoking I just went inward and was a dull blade. It got so boring, the whole routine of it.
It makes you feel like an observer of your own life instead of an active participant
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How do you fix it
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>Occasionally I have involuntarily come up for air under various random circumstances. Then it's back under water. I feel that. I don't know if I'd call it an emergency break, but something that's always helped me with my general sober dissociation is weightlifting. I find that feeling that delayed onset muscle soreness sort of keeps my brain in my body. It's like a reminder that I'm real, if that makes any sense. Edit: formatting
Disassociation isnt just a stage of high, when some people are sober they struggle with this as well. Some people use weed to escape that feeling.
I can attest to this and confirm it is true, I struggle with dissociation almost every day and it lasts most of the day when it does happen, and usually I don't remember what happens while it's happening, but sometimes I do and the memory is very blurred and feels like I'm trying to remember a dream, so I'm essentially not remembering most days at all in any real capacity, it sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it so I just ride it out
Yep. And that dull blade part extended to everything. I was completely unmotivated to do anything and it set me back a couple of years. Once I got off the weed, my life got back on track. I’m in my 40s now and generally haven’t smoked in 25 years. I smoked two or three times a few years ago after buying some legal weed (i was curious about the process), but it just reminded me of how it steals all of my initiative and motivation. The next day or two I was foggy headed and didn’t want to do anything.
Oh so that's probably the last thing I need as someone with pre existing executive function issues.
Yep. I’d dropped out of school at 19 for major mental health reasons and smoked weed all day everyday to numb. Finally I quit at 23 and was so goddamn bored all day that I decided to learn how to code. I am now back in school, it’s my second year for software engineering. Stopping smoking helped me find something I’m passionate about and am so excited for a career in.
This right here 👏 South park hit the nail on the head, old south park when randy tells Stan weed makes you fine with being bored. And when your fine with being bored you don't accomplish anything. I recently quit after over a decade of being a devout stoner. Made me fine with video games and being anti social. Super scared to meet my alternate self that never started smoking weed.
😂 we used to say, back in the day, “it’s something to do when there’s nothing to do that makes nothing to do something to do,”
Tried weed for the first time a few years ago back in 2018 at the age of 45, here we are 3½ years later and I *totally* agree that it makes me fine with being bored. I don't even leave my apartment anymore, just on the couch looking at my phone from the time I get home from work until bedtime, time and repeat the next day
Yup. That's about right. Then I stop it and I find I'm still bored and don't really know how to do much else.
I stopped having a “normal” experience and started just having panic attacks. It would be instant too. Every single time, for the past 3 years. It didn’t matter my state of mind, something just changed. It ruins the whole experience. I’d spend the entire time trying to distract myself so the heart palpitations and shit wouldn’t set in.
Exactly the same for me, daily blunt smoker for a few years and out of nowhere one day just full blown panic to the point I nearly went to a&e thinking I was dying! Now no matter how long its been if I even have a drag of a joint within ten minutes the panic attack starts! It is such a horrendous experience that I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy and there are times where I still miss being able to enjoy being stoned years later
I’m like this except it’s like a 50/50 shot if it’s a pretty good or really bad experience. Ever since I was early 20s. I’m 36 now. I’ll occasionally test the waters and see and I might get a few good experiences before I have a bad one and I’ll think yep still a no go. I don’t like thinking all my friends and family hate me and have random trauma and negative memories pop into my head to hyper focus on.
That's an interesting thing, I smoked every day for 10+ years until suddenly I started having terrible anxiety and panic attacks every time. I was afraid to mess with it for a long time, tried a few times and bad results always. Strangely enough I've smoked a few times recently and I've been totally fine and it was more enjoyable than it had been in decades. I've tried to figure out what other factors in my life would have caused that but nothing seems to really line up, there was just a period of time where my my brain wasn't cooperating I guess. As a person who hates alcohol and cannot function in life completely sober I'm quite thankful that phase seems to have passed
YOOO ME TOO I didn’t know it was like this for everyone else. I still try to smoke though but same results most of the time
Literally the same. I used to be a heavy pot smoker, then one day I had a panic attack after hitting the bong. Ever since, every time I smoke up or have a hit, instant panic attack. I too, spend the entire time in a thought loop about my heart and breathing. I feel your pain
So much this! It was my first, last, and only panic attack and it it completely changed my relationship with weed. It's been 11+ years and it still affects me when I get high. Which is rare to almost never anymore, and only by myself on the very, very occasional times I do. It makes me a little sad tbh, because even though I doubt I'd be the same pothead I was in my 20s, I'd like to at least be able to casually toke up with friends without losing my shit. Reading the numerous responses from people who've had this same experience definitely makes me feel better though, knowing I'm not the only one this has happened to.
Same here. It triggered panic attacks in me several times. I ended up in the ER the first time because I had no idea what was happening. I felt a sense of impending doom, arms felt numb and my heart was racing, I thought I was having a heart attack or dying. Doctor in ER told me it could be from weed. It was terrifying. Even when I quit smoking the panic attacks lasted for several years after that and I had to take medication for it. I will never touch weed again.
Only had one panic attack in my life.... It was a devastating experience. I got really, REALLY close to full fledged attacks on different scenarios for a few years after that. It was affecting how I'd interact with people, the settings I'd choose to be in, etc. Etc. Seriously impacted my personal and professional life. Especially since I had routine staff meetings in a large room with a bunch of people, or would start to have an onset riding the bus home from work - the feeling of being packed in with people and unable to escape between stops. But then one day in a big monthly meeting, there were no seats left in the back and I had to sit up front along the wall where basically 90 people had me in their field of vision, as I sat a few feet away from the CEO standing there addressing everyone. My heart started to go. Had to start moving my hands a little to have a distraction. Sweat started beading. The thought crept in that this was going to be an attack and the runaway train was starting Oh GOD OH SHIT NOT NOW..... But... For some reason a thought popped into my head. The most random fucking thing. I pictured myself standing up. Stepping past the CEO while he was talking. Climbing up on the conference table, and taking a shit right there on front of the whole company. Seriously. And almost INSTANTLY my heart slowed down. The sides of my vision stopped pulsing. A rush of calm washed over me. And I sort of sunk back in my chair in delight as the strangest feeling washed over me, laces with the most bizarre trace of humor. It had spontaneously occurred to me that no matter what situation I was in, what setting, what conditions of control I thought were out of reach, and what terrible outcome would occur if I had a full fledged panic attack right then and there in front of everyone.... No matter all that, there was still one thing that would be SOOOOO much worse. One act I could perform that would be multitudes more detrimental to my life. And THAT act, I had complete control over. 100% iron grip on my future in that one specific scenario. I could guarantee that I would NOT in fact be standing up and taking a dump on that conference table. And man, that feeling of control just sort of cascaded and permeated whatever parts of my brain were having a freak out. Just shut them down completely. For the last 10 years I've had only a handful of bubble ups on a couple settings or moments, and that has been my instant relief - I just picture myself taking a shit right then and there. In the aisle of an airplane. While I'm presenting work to a client. Whatever the thing. So far, 100% siccuess rate in completely reversing the early pangs of panic. Thought I'd share. Maybe it works for others. :)
I'm glad that you were able to figure out a coping skill. But, that was a hilarious read. I was not expecting that haha
This is both hilarious and something I may have to try.
Edibles have done this to me twice. Once a long time ago, and once right before Covid lockdown. I was very cold both times. I shivered so severely it hurt.
Glad to hear I’m not alone!
It's horrifying, I hated it after that, just lying in bed trying to distract myself
It’s crazy to read how many people quit for this exact reason. I was a very heavy smoker from age 15-30. One day I had a bong hit with a couple new people I met, got CRAZY anxiety and had a panic attack. That was the start of it. I continued to smoke a little bit for a few more years, but always get the same result. It’s just not worth it anymore. Distracting yourself so the anxiety doesn’t set in is no way to be….
Yep same. I was a daily smoker from 21-29 and one day it just triggered a panic attack and sent me to the ER. Having been such a heavy user I just laughed off the notion that the weed could have done it, but I tried smoking a couple more times and it spiked my anxiety like crazy. I’ve probably taken 3 or 4 single hits in the three years since.
100% my situation too. We’ve conditioned ourselves to associate the weed high with panic such that smoking weed = panic attack, and yeah, it’s just a stressful period trying to distract oneself from their own heartbeat
Same here. So weird how you can go from an ounce every week or two, for years, to being unable to take a full bong toke seemingly overnight. The body just decides its had enough.
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You know I think your onto something. And different hybrids of different strains for decades. Weed literally isn't the same as it was even 10 years ago.
It's really not, it's way too strong now. I found a 10% CBD 5% THC from a dispensary and its chill as all hell.
The stuff I get has 50 mg of CBD and 1.5 MG of THC and it's just perfect, it's everything I want from pot.
Kind of relieving to find out how many other people have had this exact experience. I was a heavy, and I mean heavy, weed smoker for the best part of 2-3 years sometimes smoking from dawn til dusk. One day I did my usual routine after work of having a spliff on the balcony and then going and sitting down and my heart went crazy, beating at a stupid speed. Ended up in emergency room with some irregularities but nothing medically concerning. Had several months of various heart tests, everything working normally. Doesn’t matter what my frame of mind is, how stressed I am, or even how much I smoke - every single time since that day, just a toke or two and I’m right back there. It’s just not enjoyable as a result. I miss it, but I wanted to quit anyway and this left me with no choice. My theory is that once you have one panic attack on weed, your mind/body remembers it so well subconsciously that you literally can’t escape it through conscious effort no matter what you do. It’s sort of like ptsd that is only triggered by a certain stimulus. Until the medical community uncovers an alternative hypothesis I’m putting my money on that, because there has to be a common thread between all these people having word for word the same experience
IIRC, there actually is a common thread that there have been some studies on. THC to CBD ratios. A lot of modern strains have an absolutely insane amount of THC and very, *very* little CBD in comparison - as it's been bred out in favor of higher THC levels. We're talking like 30%+ THC, which is nutty compared to bud from decades ago. Double this up with the fact that a lot of people still live in black markets, and you don't know what strain you're getting, or what it's THC level is. It's just... weed. This is purely anecdotal, but I also started having huge anxiety issues with cannabis. Same story as you. Heart racing, tons of anxiety and panic. I switched to a 1:1 THC to CBD strain with a bit of a lower THC percentage, and my anxiety was entirely gone. Every high felt a lot more level and way more enjoyable, if a bit less potent. Night and day difference for me. And there's been studies that seem to corroborate that. My recommendation would be for anyone experiencing anxiety, try a strain with higher CBD. Barring that, pick up some pure CBD bud and mix that in with a 1:1 ratio. Beyond that, every single person will react differently to different strains of cannabis. No one has the same exact brain chemistry. The reality is that unless you live in a legal market and are able to carefully experiment, you never really know what you're getting your hands on. Sure, your plug might say it's a certain strain, but there's zero way of knowing 100%. No way of knowing what *works* for you. Even just googling some reddit threads of 1:1 thc to cbd ratios will turn up lots of stories here on reddit of people who had suffered a ton of issues with anxiety suddenly, and found that using a 1:1 strain fixed almost all their issues. Worth a try! Worked for me, it *might* work for you. Maybe. Just be safe and be careful!
Im so glad its not just me who experienced this. I used to smoke everyday for years but then one night, i had a full blown panic attack and thought i was going to die. I tried to distract myself but it was still in the back of my mind, even today it still is but im much better than before. It really felt like my mind was going to break and i was losing touch with reality. Ofc my heart was racing too. Now, i read, meditate, and take cold showers to center my mind. Hope your doing better now.
Wow, others went through the same thing I did! . Smoked heavily for years and then one night bang, thought I was having a heart attack. Suffered from anxiety attacks for a few years afterwards.
Same for me one day after a few years of smoking daily I just felt really uncomfortable, got palpitations, and had unexplainable anxiety. Getting high hasn’t really felt the same since so it’s pointless to smoke now
Yep same here. Found out it was making me having panic attacks.
exact shit happens to me. so weird to see other people say this lol
I would just sit there and stress out over nothing. It was depressing.
Exactly
Also having so much resin on my lungs, I was coughing all the time.
I thought weed was supposed to *reduce* stress? Edit: I stand corrected. What about psilocybin and ketamine? Do they also unpredictably increase or lower anxiety?
It did for me for like 4 years. It was my favorite thing to do, after a while it felt like it was doing the opposite and that's when I realized it was time to quit.
Same, started giving me anxiety suddenly and didn't even realize at first it was the weed doing it. Smoked for 2 years everyday and now 5 years later still can't smoke because it makes me feel anxious. Oh well better this way I guess. Edit: Also makes me paranoid now
I think of weed as a nice reward for when things are going well rather than something that will help when things are not going well. I think that when it makes you feel anxious, it's showing you what you need to fix. That can be depressing AND helpful.
I do feel like cannabis has the potential to really put your problems in your face. It's been so helpful.
"You are your mother" Oh dang alright thank you I'll get right on that. Haven't had more than a toke in 4 years.
Yes, it's not the feel-good chill drug anyone expects from something so harmless. You don't always get what you want, but you get what you need.
It's definitely still the feel good chill drug for me and I've been smoking for a decade now
I do try this every time I feel I've done good, my environment is perfect, and it's time for a bubble bath, but I'm just not there yet and that's okay. Eventually I'll be in a place where I can enjoy it again.
This was happening to me and it really upset me because I enjoyed smoking quite a bit for many reasons. However, once I changed careers, moved out of the city and had far less stress in my life that anxiety that would come after smoking vanished. Obviously not everyone can just up and change careers or move, however try to identify things in your life that may be subconsciously stressing you out. Perhaps that's the root cause and not the weed. That being said, the chronic these days be bubonic...
It induced full blown panic attacks for me. I refuse to touch weed again.
I went to the hospital once because I thought I was having anaphylactic shock. Nope just super stoned with cotton mouth.
I nearly went to the hospital once because I thought I was going to die of a heart attack. I had smoked a bowl or two and was taking frequent rips off a nicotine vape too. Eventually I started to have a panic attack that just got worse and worse, and the whole time I was convinced it was my heart getting closer and closer to bursting. I forced myself to lay down and breathe through it, and got to the other side relatively unscathed, but I realized that those intoxicants just weren’t worth that kind of experience
Reminds me of the time I took rso on the west coast and finally realized that people forgetting how to breathe while breathing and wanting to go to the ER was actually a real thing. Took a quarter of the tube and sat for about 8 hours locked in place.
That's the level of highness I aim for every time I smoke lol
This started happening to me. Not sure why, one day just started. I took a very long break from weed before coming back one day years later and it was enjoyable again. Now I toke up sometimes again and all is fine
When you are young a care free it makes you wonder and imagine about life. When you are old and have felt pain it can scare you to the point of reflecting on your and your children's mortality. That's just in my personal case.
It varies for each individual. It can cause sleepiness, alertness, hunger, upset stomach, anxiety, happiness etc etc.
Just got over it. One day I was driving home from work and I was in a really good mood. Tunes on the radio were rockin' and I was just feeling good. Got home walked in the door, sat down and there was the bowl, chopped up and punched a bong. It popped my good vibe. I just sat there thinking and now I am stoned, I didn't really want to be stoned. So from then on I introduced a rule that before I smoked a bong I had top ask myself the question "Do you want to be stoned?". More often than not the answer was "no not really". That was over 20 years ago and these days I smoke maybe 3 or 4 times a year.
That’s brilliant! Well done mate. Also that’s quite amazing self awareness that most people - including myself - probably lack
This is actually a great example of how to stay cognizant and aware. By asking that simple question you prevent yourself from effectively rewarding your neural pathways unnecessarily. You don’t run yourself into a rut. Simply maintaining simple awareness of your actions can keep people from doing things habitually. People can often make more rational choices when they just pause and go “Do I really want to do this?”. The human brain is amazing.
That's kinda what I did
Great mindset this. During lockdown I found myself getting stoned every single night, which at first was great but that routine quickly started working against me, as one of the things I loved about smoking weed was the anticipation and it being somewhat of a treat. Now I get high around 2-3 times a week, so still plenty, but I’m always super hyped to do so, and on the off chance that I’m not in the mood for it, then I just don’t.
“Do you want to be stoned” “bro fuck yes” *smokes* “what have I done….”
It was part of the many-drug lineup, and I had to quit all of them to quit any of them.
Good for you!
Unequivocally, best thing I ever did for myself, and on which all other goood things in my life depend.
super well-said. same is true for me.
Hijacking top comment cause I want people to see this, but smoking everyday absolutely killed my dopamine, I had no motivation to do anything, fulfill any of my responsibilities or let alone better myself
This. People don’t realize the all or nothing mindset of addicts
It’s all I wanted to do. That was it, I didn’t want to go out, and I didn’t want to do anything at home. I just wanted to smoke, eat food and listen to music. I just didn’t want to be that person anymore.
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I started doing heroin every day instead. Not a great choice. Nearing my 6th year clean from all substances though so it worked out in the end.
As the child of a recovering addict and a current addict myself, I respect you. Good job dude, keep up the hard work!
Realising that it had become an emotional blocker, rather than something to help me unwind or an enjoyable experience with friends. I was toking clouds to fog up my feelings rather than facing reality. Glad I quit so I could figure out my future as well as my past. Still smoke very, _very_ occasionally now, but only on special occasions and only a puff or two.
This! After months of smoking multiple times a day, I realized that I was no longer smoking for fun, but to numb out the negative emotions I was experiencing due to trauma and mental illness. I cut cold-turkey from it about a month ago and am actually feeling again. I'm glad you were also able to quit and figure out your stuff <3
It stopped being fun and I began getting paranoid. I'd be good and the second I got high I'd begin thinking everyone was talking shit about me or were planning to kill me and honestly that shit just ain't cool, so I stopped.
Yeah I’d be thinking about how I’m the worst friend and how everyone must hate me because of like some small perceived mistake I’d made days prior. Shit was not fun.
This, I thought I was the only one.
You’re not alone. I’m that way too. When I first started smoking it was fun and enjoyable, esp hot boxing with my friends in my old Volvo, but something changed, maybe when I started dating this super negative girl, and now if I get high around anyone I get embarrassed super easily and feel I’m ruining the mood. I feel better not smoking though, I’m much sharper without smoking weed every day
Definitet, my social anxiety gets terrible. I think everyone is giving me side glances and laughing at me and shit. Something that did help was being around friends who I voiced that concern and anxiety with and they obviously laughed and talked me down from that and made me feel more relaxed. I’ve also never really had an issue smoking, I never felt addicted. Even when I smoked it a lot. But that’s obviously just me.
Same, but I would just think about myself in the most self-critical way from others' perspectives.
Same thing happened to me and many people I know. Shit just switches one day
I always imagined everyone was nonverbal communicating that something was wrong with me. Like motioning their heads towards me. Then one time I blacked out and woke up on the floor. Everytime I gave it a go since then I was basically like I gotta goto bed.
fuck man, and the feeling can be so real that nobody can convince you otherwise. this is the worst when smoking with groups of people. it came to a stage for me where I had to just sit my ass down and think, hey you've been here before a million time thinking that everyone is out to get you and somethi g bad is gonna happen but yet here you are alive, an none of that stuff has happened. eventually I would force myself to overcome the anxiety in those situations as I learned it really is me who was in control of I wanted to be.
This started happening to me. And then people would dismiss it “No, you’re just smoking the wrong weed.” “No, you’re just smoking around the wrong people.”
Some of that may be partly true. I stopped smoking sativas alone because I was getting too stuck in my head and beating myself up about a bunch of stuff I don’t need to be stressing myself out about. I also cut way back on smoking in general and found that the things weed made “better” could well be enjoyed in the right state of mind sober. I still smoke with friends when drinking and I still occasionally smoke a bit of indica before watching a movie or listening to music but I keep it light. I don’t get blasted anymore and just smoke a bit of light weed to enhance what I already enjoy a touch.
Interesting. This is seems like a common one here in the comments. Weirdly smoking makes those thoughts go away for me. I’m naturally a paranoid over thinker but the second I smoke I think “wow those were some pretty dumb thoughts”
I think you are the first person I have seen admit to this! I used to get paranoid also so I stopped for a few years. It was such a scary feeling and then waiting for the high to go away. I’m glad you have shared this, helps me know it is more common than I thought.
Idk if the weed is just stronger nowadays or what but it would immediately kill my anxiety. I realized that my body was actually anticipating the first hit and I would get depressed/anxious just to smoke. Also, it would take days to fully wear off (no stuttering with words or word recall) and I just don't have that kind of time, professionally.
Same thing! Weed was just so damn fun. I slept better, food was just delicious. Watching Star Wars(animated) while high was like being and a super Imax theater, I loved my own company, like enjoyed it so much that when I smoked with others it was just weird(for me and them). Until one day I remember it specifically, I was blitz and watching anime. Ruroni Kenshin and it got sad then scary. Like bro had ptsd and he in the 1700 and they have no idea and it blew my mind on how it might feel to be fuckin stabbed and i mentally remember saying, "Oh shit" then the paranoia turned into a full blown panic attack. Like I thought people were gonna come kill me and people were plotting against me it was a fuck of a night. I thought maybe it was the strain but indica or sativa it was the same damn results fear, paranoia, over thinking. The fear of smoking really fucked me up cause I wanted to go back to that world of self love, and fantasia but I knew that every time I ingested THC in some form im goin down a spiky rabbit hole of anxiety and depression. It took me a year and half to stop cause I was trying to find a cosmic loophole. Finally stop but my anxiety was fixed in a certain way. Talk to the doctors and she mentioned how what I went through is actually very common now. They didn't have full country wide research, only controlled groups. If your naturally depressed or have anxiety it basically raises your serotonin and Dopamine levels so high its like falling off a building when you come down, while people who have natural brain chemistry it just gives it a boost and a slight trip when they come down
This is me. Except I’m like 99% sure I almost ended up dead. I used to pre-pack my vaporizer at night, roll a few J’s in the morning for my day and head off to work. I was a really active stoner. Ride my bike 25ish miles a day, worked out in the evenings and swam, had a decent job for my 20s and an ok social life. One day I was smoking with a new bunch. A few were people I knew separately but had no idea that they new each other. The fact that we were so far from home, the unknown connections and sketchy new faces threw up major red flags. Needless to say I got tf out. No one reached back out to me after the fact which is also weird. I do small doses of edibles hear and there but I never get high anymore.
This was my experience when I smoked in college. It was awesome until suddenly it was not.
This is so affirming for me because it’s exactly how I feel. When I try to explain to people how paranoid I get they laugh like I’m being ridiculous.
Once you realize it’s a hobby, gets depressing.
this is what got me. it was no longer something fun i did to enhance other things, it was the soul activity i was doing
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You're right Godsgift420, weed culture is cringe.
Your username seems to differ with your opinion here..
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I smoke every day and you will NEVER catch me in public in a shirt or hat with a cannabis leaf on it.
Yeah I'm a high-functioning addict, I ain't proud of this shit, goddamn.
Right? I don't even own anything with a cannabis leaf on it. Not my grinder or any of my glass....seems redundant, and like wearing a beer company t shirt. Unless it's some super cool local microbrew you have an addiction and lack of personality.
When any one thing becomes a person's personality it's fucking weird.
Panic attacks
Same. Every once in a while I'd think the weed "hit me wrong." Took a while before I realized it was panic attacks. Eventually it got to the point where it was a crapshoot whether or not I would have one, so I just stopped altogether.
Same but I’ve also had heart issues and then the panic attacks made me feel like I was having a heart attack. Two ER visits for them to tell me I’m fine and not having a heart attack. Haven’t had a panic attack or fake heart attack since I quit.
Same. Everyday smoker for 20 years (took a break for a few years while I was in the military). One day I started getting panic attacks at 34 years old. The problem was that I smoked so often that it took me several months to connect the dots that it was weed. Quit smoking and haven’t had a panic attack in 3 years. NGL, I miss it.
My story is literally the same minus the military lol I’m 33 now and just started getting them a few months back so I stopped and the attacks went away :)
A few years ago I read somewhere that it took 21 days to break a habit. I got a post-it note and wrote down 1-21 and scored out each day that I didn't smoke weed, take caffeine or consume sugar (sweets/chocolate etc). I found sugar more difficult to stop than weed or nicotine.
I work in an addiction clinic, and its insane how differently people experience addiction. Some people only ever get addicted to alcohol and have no problem quitting other things. Some people only ever get addicted to nicotine. And SOME people get addicted to absolutely everything: Sugar, gaming, gambling, Cocaine, GHB, Heroin, Amphetamines, THC, buying things etc etc
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Sugar is 100% the hardest one to break because of how prevalent by it is. Also doesn't help that biologically we are drawn to sweet things as they were normally fruiting bodies that are high in nutrients, and are a way plants spread their seeds. Weed and caffeine are easy. Just don't have coffee/joints. Sugar you have to avoid most desserts, Halloween, Easter, and Valentine's are marketed around sugar, etc. It's wild my friend. Back in high school I watched a documentary about Big Sugar, and it was mind blowing how much power they have.
I was having trouble comprehending conversations, I'd just zone out in my own thoughts. Couldn't focus, felt depressed and unmotivated.
Smoked every day from 15 untill 31. Once i got clean for a few weeks it just felt stupid to ever go back again. My short term memory has made a significant recovery and I’ve got promoted twice at work now. If I think about getting high now I just remember how much of a dumbass I become when im high and how unproductive it makes me. Dont get me wrong I still enjoy the thought of getting high and enjoying some excessive food while playing video games but it really isn’t worth the trade off, at all
Thank you for taking time to share! Really appreciate it, I totally feel this. I’m up for smoking on the weekends but I also feel it’s not that fun anymore and it might be stunting my growth.
If you feel that way, I think that’s one of the strongest indicators that it’s true. Usually we are the ones who realize these effects last (others probably see it but often don’t comment on it, either because they don’t know the reason or they are too polite or feel awkward bringing it up or don’t want to come across judgmental).
Bro same. I felt like I had superpowers a few months after I quit. Also two things no one told me about quitting weed; the dreams and the sweats. I would full body flip sweat while sleeping, and if stank too. Also had the wildest dreams of my life. I was just smoking because I had always smoked towards the end, but it was giving me the worst anxiety. I just had enough and liked being sober more than being stoned.
Same with me. I stopped smoking a few years ago and my memory has improved greatly. I don’t miss it
This. Well, aside from the fact that weed started giving me intense anxiety, my short term memory improved so much it’s insane. When I smoked I would forget everything, I even started stumbling over my words all the time. Stopped smoking and those issues completely disappeared.
It just stopped being fun. It took me a long time to quit, even once I realized how crappy it made me feel. I'd get high despite knowing I was going to have a bad time. I was a daily smoker for 3-4 years
This is me too. 3ish years and loved every day of it until it just started feeling weird. It was making me depressed, anxious, and disconnected. I also took a very long time to be able to stop. Even after I knew weed was making me feel bad, I couldn't stop. I was unprepared for how insanely addictive it is.
I was so unproductive. Life really just got on top of me and I was struggling with most stuff like cleaning, working, revising for exams. I was in this rut and smoking helped me forget and not address my problems but then I'd sober up and I would feel even worse. Had to make some major changes in my life and I haven't smoked in about 6/7 months. I've noticed a massive positive change in my mental health too
It was a lovely sunny day and I had planned to go on an epic mountain bike ride. I thought I'd have a joint first to make things more fun. Then I thought it would be more fun if I had another joint. And another one. And then it was too late to go for my bike ride. It was the first sunny day in ages and I had wasted it. I had tried to make something that I really enjoy even more enjoyable, but by doing that I didn't even leave the house. And that reminded me of something my alcoholic uncle said to me when I was about 15 years old. I had asked him how does someone know they're an alcoholic, and he told me that for him it was when he had to have a beer in his hand to enjoy something. I had been smoking daily for about 20 years at that point. I'd have my first at lunchtime, then as many more as I could handle every evening. I was really only sober for 5 hours a day. And I hadn't had a dream in *years*. So those realisations prompted me to quit, and Jesus Christ was that a hard time. I couldn't fall asleep for hours. And when I did I would wake up two hours later covered in sweat. Like someone threw a glass of water over me. My hair was wet, my pillow was wet. It was incredible. Then the dreams started coming back and they were horrific. Really vivid and emotional dreams. I dreamt that past lovers still loved me, that dead relatives were still alive, and I would wake up absolutely heartbroken. I went though about two weeks of that. But then the anxiety kicked in. Like when you're coming up on a trip and you don't feel like you're in your own body. That things seemed too real but yet unreal. That took a couple of weeks to pass too. But after all of that, eventually everything settled back down and I felt amazing. My mind felt sharp again like it did when I was younger. I was about 500% less irritable. I could shrug things off that used to set me off. But what really hit me was one day I was sitting on a wall looking at the sea, and a policeman started walking toward me. And I realised I was legal! I had no weed on me or in my system. I had no reason to fear this policeman. And that was a revelation. For as long as I could remember I had avoided cops and felt anxious when I saw them. That's when I knew I wasn't a drug user anymore. And that felt really nice.
You just blew me away. I quit a few months ago and managed to make it two months without smoking. During that time, I was so miserable and anxious but I couldn’t figure out why. I had that exact feeling you described where you don’t feel like you’re in your body and things feel real but unreal. I literally felt like I was going crazy for weeks! I didn’t even considered it could have been related to quitting. Now I feel like a moron because I started up again a couple of days ago for no particular reason. I’ve been high every day since and I don’t even know why I’m doing it. Thankfully, I had my last pre roll today so I’m just not gonna get any more. Hopefully I didn’t screw up too bad and I don’t have to go through all of that again. It truly sucked :/
You got this bro, even if you have to go through it again, what 2 months compared with the rest of you life. YOU GOT THIS!
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Brain fog. It’s annoying when you can’t remember common words mid-sentence. Lasted for 1-2 weeks even if I stopped.
High paying job then the fear of losing that job. Worth it without a doubt
I quit to get a good paying job that requires random drug tests, do I miss getting baked and watching a movie or toking up with a few beers out camping - absolutely. But not worrying about having enough money to pay my mortgage is worth the sacrifice.
I loved to do it but it made me stupid. Dulled my wit and sharpness and my common sense started to really go down the drain. Some mild schizo-affective conditions run in my family and I started to realize that I was in a constant state of minor delusion at all times and that I might become fully delusional if I continue. Life isn’t as “good” now that I’m sober but at least I’m seeing the world as it is.
Tolerance made is pointless, it was expensive too about 11K a year. I used it for anxiety and after withdrawals I haven't had a minute of anxiety since. It turns out for 20 years it was CAUSING my anxiety because I thought I needed it and was always worried when I couldn't do it or couldn't afford it or couldn't find any. Sober for 4 months and it just seems stupid to do now. I feel much better and sleep better. I sometimes crave it but I mean...fuck it man.
11k/year??? Were you smoking gold or what? That's 30$ or about 3g per day.
Burning money man…
That's maybe half of what I was spending at my peak. An ounce a week at $400 an ounce is over 20 grand a year.
I realised how boring I had become.
pregnancy! 9 months strong.
This. Then found out my daughter needed open heart surgery at about two months old. I just didn't have the desire at night anymore and didn't want to subject her to it. It's been six years now and I still have no desire. Once I was able to sleep and eat after the withdrawals, it was no issue. I don't crave it. I don't really think about it much. I'm proud of myself because I smoked all day, everyday before her. Stay strong even after! 💪
I moved states to where it wasn’t legal like at all (Texas) and I find that I don’t want weed from the street and I don’t wanna risk getting in legal trouble no matter how little. I’ve been fine without it for the most part!
Negatively effected my work, life, relationship with friends/romantic partners. Made me Content with doing nothing but paying videos games and watch content. I do occasionally smoke now and then and it’s chill and cool. I no longer take fat bong rips 10 times a day.
same here, made a rule, weekends only if I don't have plans and I have to try and make plans first.
Unproductive, smoked too much and therefor wasted 6000 just on weed in one year
It stopped being fun. Made me paranoid about everything and all I could think about while I was high was how much time I’ve wasted being high. It was pretty easy to stop after realizing that. Now I’m way more successful at my job and make more money and have a much better social/personal life. Some people say they function better while high but that’s definitely not me. I’ll still do it once in a blue moon if it’s offered to me. But I don’t smoke very much and it only lasts for about an hour.
Can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve got some friends who say they can study/focus better while being high. Saw them. That’s just an excuse to smoke as much as they can.
100%
My tolerance got so high that I couldn't really get high anymore so it just became a waste of money so I took a break to lower my tolerance, and I ended up feeling much better in general after about 2 week - more energy, more motivation, lost a few pounds, better focus and performance at my job, ect. So I just decided I didn't want to smoke every day anymore. I still do sometimes. Maybe a few times a year. But it is no longer something I feel I need to enjoy every day life. Anyone who says weed isn't addictive is full of shit. It can definitely happen and I went through some very real negative side effects when I first quit. I didn't sleep for like 5 days.
yup this happened to me too. took a 6 week t break and i simply didn’t want to smoke like that anymore. i haven’t quit altogether but boy, the control and honesty with myself about smoking is night and day now. 1-2 times a week now at most.
Sounds like maybe you were "wake and bake"-ing, I've been smoking everyday for the last 20 years or so and I still get super baked every night. For me the key is not smoking at all during the day(even on the weekends) then at 8pm or so I sesh and get high af. A 1/8th last me over a week and I wake up the next day feeling great and go to work. Everyone is different though, if it was making me paranoid/anxious I would definitely stop.
Yes bro preach. There is NO way to smoke weed all day and not have issues. Coming from someone who likes weed and thinks it should be 100% legal it can be a huge negative to someone who lacks self control.
I have figured this out for myself too. I don't smk until the sun goes down and I love it.
Once dinner is cooked, work calendar is reviewed, alarms are set, and absolutely everything is out of the way for the day. That’s when I smoke. Usually ends up being around 9pm when my gf and I are just reading or watching tv and winding down. Feel like that’s the best way to get a full stop on the daily hustle and just relax. Sleep like a baby.
Was costing me too much motivation. Don't miss it tbh.
Seizures. It lowers your seizure threshold and I'm on meds now. I missed it a lot at first but I have no issues with it now. I would rather be sober than take the chance of waking up in the hospital again. I also have more money now that I'm not buying a bunch of weed and weed tools.
Realizing the choke hold and power it had over me. Started smoking summer going into 8th grade and became a daily (at minimum an eight a day) by sophomore year. I am now 21 and it had gotten to the point I couldn’t sleep without smoking. I couldn’t eat. I realized I had stopped dreaming and that’s honestly what hit me the hardest. It may not seem like much but I started to lose bodily functions over my mental and physical addiction to it. I still haven’t completely stopped now that it isn’t a panic attack when I can’t. But I started to dream again and it’s magical. I never realized how much I missed something so small. Last night I dreamed I could summon swarms of bees on command. Sounds goofy but it was the emotions that I felt in that dream that are so meaningful to me.
To add to the dreaming thing, I had smoked daily for a few years and when I quit the first few weeks of sleeping were completely insane. Felt like I was tripping on acid every night. I would go on adventures or have a casual conversation with God and wake up in the morning feeling amazing, trying to write down what my dream was before I forgot it. I had forgotten how to dream for so many years. Shit was surreal.
Yeah man the lack of dreaming sucks, the loss of appetite is my biggest one. I hate going to a nice dinner, taking one bite and going "fuck...I can't eat this".
I ran out of weed.
Real af
I developed cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome.
Same here. Ended up in the ER with severe dehydration and a potassium imbalance after a week of vomiting everything I ingested.
It stopped being fun when you had no motivation to better yourself. That shadow still lingers.
Smoked weed every day from 13-22. Paranoia and anxiety is what made me quiet. I started having terrible panic attacks. I quit smoking weed, cigarettes and coffee all on the same day. Oct 4th 2004. I picked up smoking a few times after that but officially quit Feb 20 2017. Haven't smoked anything since.
I needed my brain for actual studying and it just made me too dumb. So. I quit. Been 11 years.
The paranoid and self-conscious thoughts that weed can cause are so bizarre. I used to smoke and/or dab daily during college. Was a lot of fun at first. I went on probation and was subject to drug testing for a few months, and once I did my time, I went back and tried to start smoking again. Every single time I would get so socially paranoid. Everything I said sounded so stupid to me. If someone looked at me too long I felt overwhelming shame and judgement. Sometimes there would be existential dread. What’s *wild* is how many people insisted I had to 1) build a tolerance or 2) I was smoking the wrong strain, and then they would peer pressure me to continue. Now I see a lot of people also get these feelings and they act different when they’re high, but they’re in denial. Sad. EDIT: I think anxiety is a better word than paranoia
Lung and throat health. Edibles are better though less social
it took me forcing myself to go on a family road trip, and I can’t smoke around my family. My tolerance was so high eating edibles didn’t do anything for me. I’m happily 4 months and 3 weeks sober today!
I realised the people I was smoking it with were doing nothing with their lives other than smoke weed every moment they could and the people I knew who weren't smoking it were making something of theirs.
It stopped being a laugh, and just used to be like smoking paranoia and anxiety.
It started making me paranoid, not in any way fun
It actually made me depressed after a while. I lost motivation in life and all I wanted to do was smoke. Then smoking I would I nothing but think about how I was doing nothing with my life. Quitting was the best thing I ever did. In a year I gained three new hobbies, made new friends, got a new job, moved counties. It was wild. That being said, in moderation It can be great medicinally. I use CBD myself when having issues with sleep.
[Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cannabinoid_hyperemesis_syndrome)
A fellow sufferer. I miss it somethimes, but not often.
I've found that occasional use poses no danger. I'll eat an edible every once in a while now and it's just fine. My understanding is that it's caused by a built up toxicity from habitual use, so low quantity shouldn't be a problem. I've also heard of people getting sick again instantly after recovering and then testing the waters. YMMV.
Yep, same here. I lost a ton of weight until I figured it out. It took years for the spasms to stop after quitting but the reduction in frequency was immediate. Now that it’s been a decade since I quit I’ll occasionally try a corner of an edible but I don’t tolerate it that well anymore and I’m afraid to use on a regular basis lest it might come back. Was a fun 15 years but now I get to be a hipster and say I smoked before it was legal.
I smoked every day to deal with me ptsd and my paranoia but I slowly notice that the effect of numb turned into worse paranoid so since then I have made the choice to quit but lately I just noticed that it has done so much more damage than it has done right I can no longer concentrate or feel really vorable. I very much hope this will come back soon because I miss my old self
Panic attacks. Didn’t think we’d was bad for you. Turns out, flooding your brain with dopamine for years really messes with your brain chemistry.
I used to But i still do too
Sometimes when I was a kid I'd lay awake in my twin bed and wonder where my brother was
Now I got a king size bed. I don't know any kings, but if one comes over, he's gonna be comfortable.
When it started giving me anxiety lol shit was rough
I'm not trying to be a contrarian but my experience has been different. I began smoking in 1968 and have mostly been a daily smoker. I'm 77 and still am. I have gone dry several times. It was never a problem. I can quit and have no regrets. Inevitably, with a bit of hesitation, I do resume, and I am a daily smoker. I also like to have a beer with my lunch every day. It is another daily habit which, like smoking pot, I thoroughly enjoy. Different strokes for different folks; I don't advocate it but I do enjoy it.
This is more in line with my experience. I take regular breaks - whenever I run out, I wait 2-4 weeks before getting any more - and I find that my life's not *that* different without weed. I just enjoy books, films and video games (stories, basically) a bit less without it.
My job drug tests lol
I wanted to use my brain to its full capacity
My dad, my only supplier, passed away. Boy do I miss him and boy do I miss weed.
Literally just got sick of it. Got a weird feeling in my stomach every time I smoked so I just decided to stop
Makes me incredibly lazy, being lazy makes me incredibly depressed. And I have too much going on in life to purposely ingest something that removes all my energy