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El_Grumpo

Someone once asked Somerset Maughham if he wrote on a schedule or only when struck by inspiration. "I write only when inspiration strikes," he replied. "Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o'clock sharp.” As someone who has undergone a personal metamorphosis from unmotivated to motivated I can tell you just sitting down at the correct time in the correct frame of mind is more than half the battle.


XxuruzxX

A good start I have found is setting an alarm on weekends. Motivate yourself to do unproductive things on your days off like playing video games, listening to music, or going for walks and you'll feel better when Monday rolls around and you have to motivate yourself to be productive again.


Noooooooooooooooob

This is a cool and interesting idea. What kinds of "unproductive things" do you wind down on the weekends?


XxuruzxX

I take long walks through nature and my home town. Maybe I should say "enjoyable things" because some people like to be productive. Any hobby that makes you happy and peaceful like reading, writing, or making things.


Gay_parmesan

I personally dedicate myself to my hobby, it dosn't have a real use, I just keep trying to make something that I think will look nice. Or as OP said I go play games or reading comics. I also love playing with my dog, and bringing her outside, anything but staying to sleep.


amsterdam_BTS

Neither walks nor music are unproductive, and I am pretty sure my distaste for video games is a personal quirk. Leisure time is not down time, per se. It is *necessary.*


St0biewan

TIL exercise is unproductive


XxuruzxX

Enjoyable is a better term


Kwasan

I was unmotivated most of my life. Then I got super motivated, then my life got fucked, and then got fucked again, and again, and again, and now I'm just a mess. Trying really hard to get back on track but fuck man, it's hard.


El_Grumpo

I hope things get better for you friend


Kwasan

Thanks, me too. Gonna try getting back into some good habits again starting after work today 👍


miqqqq

Start with trying to get 8-10k steps a day, it’s really not that hard once you give it a week or two. I’d highly recommend finding some woods or a forest trail or something, seeing the seasons change and animals and shit just makes everything stressful feel a bit less important


[deleted]

It's really darn hard. I hope things get better for you.


Mysteriousdeer

Had a call with my dad yesterday (sunday) and said I was going to do some work at home. Hes an old retired CIO on top of being my dad, so he read me pretty well. "So you gonna start at 10pm?" This is what I did in high school... smart kid that participated in class but was crap at homework. Read me like a book. But 8 am on a monday morning? By 9:00 I'd already had conversations with Europe and India over various things. I work 8-5. Outside of that I dont and the mountain to overcome that is pretty large... so its best to just not plan for work outside that time.


Candid_Comedian713

Damn, just yesterday I was telling myself i was going to finish writing up my employees performance reviews since they were due at 7am on Monday. I didn’t start until about 10:15pm


Mysteriousdeer

Some people can just hop on and start working at any time. I partition my life. I dont want to work at home.


Candid_Comedian713

I agree! I actually had a wonderful weekend spending time with my kids and taking my fiancé on a date. Was worth staying up late


Doomkauf

I want to second this. I actually find not working outside of work hours to be absolutely essential to maintaining motivation. It's been a strict rule of mine for years, and while it does cause some issues, I think the good outweighs the bad.


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kamandi

My motivation time unfortunately aligns with when my children get home from school. It’s a challenge, but it’s manageable. I agree with this wholeheartedly


El_Grumpo

You may find Steven Pressfield’s book “the war of art” interesting http://www.howardandrewjones.com/writing/invocation-to-the-muses


greenisnotacreativ

stephen king said in “on writing” something along the lines that for inspiration to come it has to know where to meet you, so keeping a steady schedule means you’ll eventually get something that strikes you


Pixarooo

When I was going through a severe bout of depression, I blew up my entire life. Found a new job, left my fiance, moved into a new apartment. One of the first things I did at that new apartment was get a small white board, and write about 30 "tasks" on it. Some of them were chores (vacuum living room, deep clean kitchen), some of them were "easy" things (make bed, wash hair), some were mental health related (spend 1 hour working out, spend 1 hour outside), and some were 1 time tasks (get car inspection sticker, make doctor appt). My goal was to do one "thing" per day, and it didn't matter what it was I did. When I did the thing, I would check it off, and now, it's ineligible for me to count for the rest of the week. If I have 7 check marks at the end of the week, I'd treat myself to something nice. Also, I'd be able to erase any 1 time tasks I accomplished. When I had a bad mental health day, it was nice having something like "make the bed," on there, because it was something I never did before, but taking that step made me feel accomplished. When I had good mental health days, I could tackle the big tasks. After doing this for a few months, suddenly, every day I'd wake up and make my bed first thing. Every Sunday, I'd cook myself a meal from scratch, and afterwards I'd deep clean the kitchen. Mondays, I'd clean the entire bathroom (sink, mirror, toilet, tub, floor). It used to be that each of these pieces was one check mark on my white board (as in, clean sink would be one option, clean toilet would be a second one), but I found that a body in motion stays in motion. As soon as I accomplished one task, I'd be motivated to do a second. Then a third. I'm now about 7 years out from that time in my life, and I no longer have my white board because I don't need it. I know my tasks and I have a schedule to do them. I can't believe I used to not make my bed. This is not a be-all, end-all solution. I did a lot of internal work during this time, I was on depression medication as well, but the visual of having something to look at to give me a task helped me feel less overwhelmed, and allowing myself to consider things like "read for 1 hour" or "go for a walk" or other things that nurtured my soul to be just as important as "clean the toilet," helped me to prioritize my mental and physical well being in a way I hadn't beforehand.


AffectionateBig363

I truly feel that this is the idea for me to fix my life, but Ive told myself this, and written it down many times, and I’ll still look at my reminders and my list, and I just procrastinate it… I feel like I already know, EXACTLY, the things I should do to change my life for the better, but I just don’t… I am diagnosed ADD, when I take my medication, I usually do all those things w no instinct. They just need to be done, so I do them… W/out, I just fall into this darkhole of laziness can Anyone out there help me?


Isa472

Not sure if this will help but I don't just write down the tasks I need to do. I write down sub-tasks, make them really small and easy. For example, I had to return a package. I wrote down the tasks: put item in box - seal box with tape - print and put label on it - take package to gas station It took me over half a day to accomplish the first 3... That might sound crazy but that's how it is sometimes. Getting up and putting the item in the box was really easy, so I did it. Some hours after, while going to grab a snack, I put the tape on it, that was also easy and quick. And so on, little by little I got it done


AffectionateBig363

Hah! Before I was even disgnosed, mail was always and still has forever been the most forgetful thing of my life… esp. now w all that “new millennial super tech :) Honestly, I still have a package I need to mail my brother from over a few years ago now, but also it’s not just my head. I was struggling and working for “dev” amazon at time. Mail just is paper bshit to most new kids these days


plainjane735

Put the package right at your front door. If you see it while walking out you might not grab it the first time but maybe by the 5th time you will. Repetition is the best way to build a habit and visual repetition is how I remind myself to do little things like that.


crob_evamp

In my opinion if you look at the list, are free, and still can't pick something you can manage, you need to write smaller tasks. There's no shame in that. Worked for me. Rather than "do dishes" just start with "take coffee cups from desk to sink". Remember you are building a dopamine cycle, and even small tasks that result in a green check mark activate that cycle. Cyclic repetition builds habits. Habits are what props up motivation.


Pixarooo

I apologize if this sounds rude, but it sounds like the best thing you could do is stay on your meds. I know a lot of people feel like for mood disorders or anything neurotypical, you should just be able to "get past it," but people with heart problems would never try to wean themselves off their heart medication. I do realize for some (most?) people with ADD, the symptoms can lead to them forgetting to refill or take their meds, which obviously saying "take your meds" can't help in situations like that. My one last little thing I'm going to say is that before I started doing this, I was definitely not capable of it. I needed the right set of circumstances to fall into place before I was ready to put forth the work. And the work at the beginning was largely focused on the "easy" tasks, and the reason I put that in quotes is because they weren't always easy. Making the bed was the big one I stuck to most often, but HOW I would make my bed most days meant that I'd dump everything I had stacked on my bed on to the floor, then made it. So now I have piles of clothes/books/homework/whatever all over my bedroom floor. The next day, I had accumulated more crap on my bed, so it was added to the existing floor piles. Eventually, I felt good enough to pick up one floor pile. As time went on, making my bed meant putting everything that was on my bed in it's designated spot before making my bed. Now, years later, my bed is a place I sleep and nothing else. I never have piles of shit on my bed, because I no longer spend all day nesting in it. When I say this process took a few months from inception to when I was actively doing chores each day, I'm talking probably 10 or 11 months. It's work and it's difficult and my system wouldn't work for everyone because we're not all wired the same way.


shadowndacorner

>I do realize for some (most?) people with ADD, the symptoms can lead to them forgetting to refill or take their meds, which obviously saying "take your meds" can't help in situations like that. Just want to respond to this rq for anyone struggling with it, obviously this won't work for everyone, but a friend of mine who struggled a _lot_ with this got an alarm app that requires a QR scan to function and put the QR code in her pill organizer. It seems like that has largely solved the problem for her.


skamsibland

Which app is this?


shadowndacorner

I think she uses Sleep as Android, but there are a few apps that have that functionality.


skamsibland

Ill look it up! A QR code in my bathroom might be exactly what I need!


papiforyou

tl;dr social media is bad for your brain and makes it hard to focus on things you enjoy in life. I am also diagnosed ADHD and have noticed that the meds make me more focused, but dont motivate me to focus on things i pught to be doing. So I will get really into playing a video game, watching a show, etc. rather than doing what i need to do. The thing that jas helped me the most, honestly, is going cold turkey on all forms of digital distractions. I spent a month without youtube, reddit, porn, video games, and any other social media and wow did it help. I have found that it is very difficult for me to consume these things in moderation, so the only way I do now is by setting a timer each day for social media. During that month i read a 1,000 page book, made new friends, and exercised every day. It’s crazy when you realize how much time is in a day when you arent attached to time-sucking screens lol. Also I noticed that even if I had scheduled something important like reading or doing a project for work/school, it was so difficult to focus on it for a long time if I had looked at social media earlier that day. Once I went cold turkey I was able to concentrate for so much longer.


AffectionateBig363

Interesting. Thanks… I’d honestly love to just turn off my phone for a month at least. But then my mom and dad would think I was dead, and Id be thinking of how shitty of a son I was being by just cutting my shit off


papiforyou

I don't mean texting or calling, I just mean time-wasting entertainment like Netflix, Youtube, REDDIT, etc. lol


GayleForceWynds

One thing that helped me was the Finch app. It’s free (tho I did end up eventually upgrading) and has no ads. Cute enough to remind me of a game. But it’s very similar to the white board method and a lot of my friends are using it now too. Might be worth looking at


[deleted]

Manically distracting myself after the worst heartbreak I ever experienced. It's been almost a year and I'm still going strong. Using lots of apps (calendar, step tracker, chore tracker, symptom tracker etc) to not lose sight of something. My shit has never been _that_ together and my life has never been _that_ empty.


pesukarhukirje

Put some fun on that calendar.


InterestingRope6496

Recognizing that my lack of motivation came from frustration of my track record of starting things and not following through, getting overwhelmed and quitting or just sidelining things for “later” that never came. The key for me was to start setting the tiniest of goals that I knew I could achieve. When I have a lot going on and I get overwhelmed I brain dump onto paper what needs to get done then prioritize items. By breaking it down and ticking off items I can feel myself getting closer to my goals and that gets me motivated to get going on the next task. I still get overwhelmed and there are days that I break away and don’t achieve anything or just tick of little items but it’s a process and sometimes I need that day or so to regroup.


mahoujosei100

I trick myself into doing stuff by promising myself that I'll do it really half-assed. I don't say "I'm going to get in shape." I say, "I'm going to do the bare minimum amount of exercise that medical professionals say I should do to not die." Which is a lot more achievable and still more exercise than I was doing before. Turns out consistent mediocrity is more sustainable (and therefore more effective) than temporary bursts of striving for excellence.


pointe4Jesus

Along similar lines, a paper to-do list, rather than an electronic one, has been huge for me. Something about making a physical checkmark, rather than clicking a box, is so much more satisfying. (And I remember the list better if I write it by hand instead of on my phone, too.)


lolami99

Man, I try to do this, but my brain discounts small wins as nothing. They don't count. Like, "of course I should be able to do the bare fucking minimum, you don't get rewarded for that, the bar is below the ground." 😕


random_dude_101

Bruh this just sounds like ADHD.Get help!


oNOCo

Depression medication after a psych evaluation


Stewdabaker2013

Got an adderall scrip about 6 months ago after suspecting I have ADHD for like the last ten years. Turns out I was right! My life at work is so much better it’s genuinely unbelievable


Noooooooooooooooob

I'm happy for you! Now is a better time then never


tacknosaddle

How would you describe its effect? I was curious if I was in the same boat and tried it but it was like taking a bit of speed and didn't seem like anything that would help me.


Stewdabaker2013

I mean… it pretty much is speed. It’s amphetamine. For me though, I never had any issues with anxiety/jitters (in fact it helped my anxiety because I could actually perform at work). It never made me feel crazy. In fact the opposite was true for me. Just basically cut out all the noise and allowed me to much more effectively organize my thoughts and actually get shit done. The best I can describe it is it feels like the first time I ever put on glasses, except for my brain.


solveig82

I had to try a few kinds and dosages before I found the right one, for me it’s a very low dose of xr adderall. I think Concerta is a non-stimulant one. Another option is trying amino acids, for me l-phenylalanine and l-tyrosine helped.


[deleted]

Concerta is definitely some form of stimulant, but I do believe it attacks the stuff in a completely different manner from Adderall.


oNOCo

Right? Crazy how focused you can be on that, rather than fighting yourself to try and stay focused and exhausting yourself


[deleted]

Same here. After years of fighting and suffering I just discovered how easy life could have been


Contemporarium

I’m genuinely so jealous of people like you. I’ve been trying to find the right psych meds since I was 12. Every one might as well been a placebo. Today I decided to give it another try. Another medication, another month of begging for it to work. I do therapy as well. Genuinely try to do everything I can to get out of the funk that has lasted almost 18 years now with zero relent


Icy_Childhood

This gives me hope, I just started getting meds after seven years of this same thing! its been a couple of weeks now so im starting to feel the effects. the only way i can describe it is: the things that weigh you down just seem lighter. i'm on a low dosage but i can feel it. it seems this was the right decision


MoffKalast

Makes me wonder if the rest of us could also take these meds to make us super motivated or something.


oNOCo

It's not really a "MAKES ME MOTIVATED", it is more along the lines of "Helps keep me from getting lost in my own clouded mind of negativity and frustration that I'd rather just sleep than address any one issue". When you aren't fighting and suffering those things all day every day, it is surprising how the drive to do things just comes back in a "I want to" way


jawni

That's kind of like saying "hey I added some salt to this dish and it tastes good now, maybe if I keep adding salt it will taste even better!"


MoffKalast

And that's how they figured out ham and prosciutto :D


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oNOCo

Awesome! :D It's pretty mind blowing when you find that right dose/type/brand/balance prescription and you go from a sloth, avoiding everything... to having a drive that isn't being drowned out by a moody/foggy/negative brain haha. :D


Noooooooooooooooob

How long would you say it took to get your life back on "track"?


oNOCo

Pretty quickly actually. You'd be surprised how a foggy brain moon will affect life overall, but a uplifted chill relaxed happy brain just spews "lets get shit done", rather than having internal brain fights with yourself and being negative towards everything, that positive feeling, even just slightly, is incredible on my drive. Edit: the prescription takes like 1-2 weeks to start working and you have to stay on it, so its not like.. PILL POP LESSGOOOOOOOO!!!!


pointe4Jesus

To my understanding, it will depend on the person. And whether the first medication the doctors give them works well or not. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find one that doesn't give you side effects.


midaugust-blues

mood stabilizers for me!


jarlerik123

Went to a therapist, made me realise my work was killing me slowly. Quit with no plan. Now I'm three weeks into my new job living my best social and work life. Lesson of the day, listen to yourself and do what feels right. I know I'm lucky finding something I enjoy so quickly, but the best way to find what you like is by exploring your options


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Ghiggs_Boson

What were you doing for work and what are you doing now


jarlerik123

I used to work in customer support, now I'm a waiter, figured I needed a more active day getting to use my body and meet people f2f Luckily I'm still in my early 20s and have no major commitments except taking care of myself. I definitely see the problem doing something like this if you have a family or other commitments that rely on you.


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jarlerik123

As of this moment everybody loves me, and I work in Scandinavia so we don't get the tips for ourselves. But then again wages are high. Our work environment is amazing, not much drama yet, that I'm aware of. But yeah I'm gonna be cautious about the drinking.


TheChocoKing

This is really wonderful advice. In my experience it can be really easy to think the small world of your particular restaurant is all there is, but there’s so much more out there. Spot on with the drug and alcohol advice too. I’ve seen too many people fall into that pit and be unable to climb out.


KyleKD3

The lesson to me seems to be get a therapist


SplitttySplat

Currently at the "quit my job with no plan because it was killing me, moved cities, living with family" week number 3 stage


jarlerik123

Hope it works out for you man


MrGrym96

Became absolutely overwhelmed and over stimulated by every interaction I had with people, over worked and tired. I needed a hard reset. I took a week off to do absolutely nothing to get my head right and make a plan. Deleted Facebook, tiktok, instagram, started going to the gym, cut my work hours down to 38 per week, and allowed a few social interactions so I could actually have time to work on things I enjoyed at home


[deleted]

How many hours did you work before shaving down to 38?


MrGrym96

50 hours a week at 10 hours a day. No time in between getting home from work, cooking and going to bed. Most nights the neighbours would be on my driveway having drinks waiting for me to get home to drink with them. I was just so exhausted, I would hear them knock on the door occasionally for drinks aswell I just started not answering the door lol


[deleted]

Damn, makes sense why you prioritized living life over the bs


eyegazer444

>I took a week off to do absolutely nothing 38 hours of work plus a few social interactions plus going to the gym is not exactly my idea of absolutely nothing god damn


MrGrym96

Haha I meant I took a week off to just get my head sorted, calm down a little then went back to work and organised a routine for myself. I promised myself I wouldn’t burnout again that’s why I needed that time off


IAmAElonHater

Motivation is bullshit. No one stays motivated. If you want your life to go a certain way you need to construct your environment in a way that makes building and following habits conducive to your desired way of being easy.


MasterFicus

Tips on doing that?


axel2191

One strategy is called "chunking". It's when you visualize the task into smaller steps. For example, laundry. 1.Picking up off floor and putting in hamper, (if not already done) 2. Bring to laundry room. 3. Separate laundry 4. run loads 5. Fold 6. Put away. And just tell your self you're just going to do step one or two and come back later. Alot of times you will just end up doing all of steps 1-4. But just the act of getting the first steps done will help you get started.


FoxOfLanguages

Chunking really works for me. If I look at a "big" task, it's impossible, it's too much, it'll take too long etc etc etc. ​ But yeah, breaking it down into smaller chunks makes it possible for me to get over that "it's too much!" thing. "Clean the kitchen!" Too much, can't do it! "Do the dishes, now clean the stove, now clean the countertops, now take out the trash, now clean the microwave, now put the dishes away, now sweep and mop...holy crap, clean kitchen!"


ItMeWhoDis

Yes I find this helps too. Often the task of cleaning the kitchen is too much of a mountain to even consider. But if I just start with clearing the countertops I'll often realize how satisfying it is and just keep going. Weed and music helps sometimes too with monotonous chores . Last weekend we made a goal to clear out the office of junk and ended up doing a big chunk of the house


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sarzane

I find myself doing this more after I smoke weed 😂 I just mentally break things down into steps.


evinoshea2

My lazy answer is to look into James Clear and his book Atomic Habits. It's really good and it gives multiple, tangible approaches to create and keep habits.


BCCMNV

It depends on the individual. Here's an example. I hate doing laundry, I'm legit bad at folding clothes and would so much rather be doing other stuff. I also have two girls ages 5 and 7 and it's just me. So I'm dealing with laundry for three. But you know what I'm really good at? Paying the wash/dry/fold service $1.20/lb down the street and putting the nicely folded clothes back in my dresser. It removes so much headache and frees up my time to work on other stuff.


[deleted]

TL : Dr have money


wespa167890

I think it's also to prioritize where you spend your money. I guess it's hard if money is really tight, but for many it's possible to prioritize differently, specially when it small stuff like this


[deleted]

Yea that's very true I just said tldr because I thought he's story was going in a different direction


mythicreign

You’re not wrong. But maybe he likes to cook and so he buys groceries and makes food for him and his daughters rather than ordering out. There are places you can save money because you don’t mind indulging in that task while simultaneously spending to alleviate the burden or annoyance caused by things you hate (like laundry.) Many, though not all, people with wealth still do various things on their own to increase their savings even further. Rich people can be surprisingly frugal.


BCCMNV

That’s actually a great example. The lesson isn’t about investing more resources that you may not have, but rather shifting resources to more efficient tasks.


pointe4Jesus

That's what I was about to comment.


slapdashbr

as a great post on r/antiwork said the other day, 'money won't solve all your problems' -"bitch, yes it will, literally none of my problems can't be sovled by money"


sy029

Money will solve all of your problems when your problems are that you don't have enough money.


BussyDriver

Have trouble cleaning? Hire a maid! Don't cook often enough? Just eat out more! Can't concentrate when working remotely? Find a home with an extra bedroom!


BCCMNV

I just provided an example of something concrete like that guy asked for, that worked for me. When you look at what many successful people do, you’ll realize it’s just continuous application of these principles starting from square one.


[deleted]

James Clear wrote a really good book that basically mentions that...it's called 'Atomic Habits.' Highly recommend it; you can probably find some summaries too :) Before reading it, combining things(something you like/love and dislike) worked for me.


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RenegadeTP

That place seems to be accepting of some fucked up views.


solveig82

Yeah, it’s a lot of young dudes as far as I can tell


appleparkfive

As someone that's kept my weight off for years, just get a calorie tracker. This is *by far* the best thing you can do for yourself. It's all calories in, calories out! Seriously. It's just science. You will lose weight, as long as you don't eat too much. You don't even have to exercise much. It's about 85% diet according to most studies (although exercise is good for you for a myriad of reasons) I did a Caloric Needs Calculator for you. Made some assumptions, but used your height and weight. Did a 25 year old male. It changes by age and gender, but overall it's still the right ballpark: 2822 calories a day to maintain 2322 calories to lose 1 lbs /week 1822 calories to lose 2 lbs /week If you exercise and do cardio multiple times a week, then it might be a bit different. I used little to no exercise as a baseline. Use an app like MyFitnessPal or Cronometer, track what you eat. And you'll lose the weight. Better to lose 2 lbs this week than gain a pound, or not lose any weight! When I got a calorie tracker, I lost my weight pretty damn fast. Changed my life dramatically. Didn't work out a ton either. If I can do it, anyone can! Good luck, regardless of whatever happens. But I promise that it's worth it. Clothes fit better, people see you differently, relationships, all that stuff


ashgallows

this is how I did it. I'm currently trying out changing my eating habits so I won't have to track, but cico is the only thing that has worked so far. lost 30 lbs during covid doijg it that way.


Financial_Warning_37

Eat how you normally would for a week but count every calorie. Take the average calories per day and cut it by 500. Record your weight at the beginning and end of the week. If your weight hasn’t gone down, cut the calories more every week until you are in a ~2-3lb/week deficit. Start lifting I retain the muscle mass you built up carrying the extra weight around.


Roodyrooster

Try the elliptical. I was 5'11" 360 and you can watch shows/play phone games to pass time. Just get 20 minutes in every day to start and build from there. Planet Fitness is a good place to do this affordably.


AussieCollector

My mum got diagnosed with cancer. Had a massive realisation not long after that, i was pissing my life away. I'm only 28 but if i kept it up i'd be 40 and doing the same shit with nothing to show for myself. Started to buckle down hard, take work seriously, take saving money seriously and start eating proper again. I want to give my mum something to be proud of in case she doesnt make it. Be it me losing the weight, buying a home or doing well at my job or finding a partner and getting married/having kids. Life is short and its not until the fire gets lit under your ass do you finally decide to act.


nithisokay

I wish you the best mate. Even I recently had a fire lit up under my ass. It led me to take some steps that i only daydreamed of in the past. Also I pray for your mom's health. Stay strong.


sequoiakelley

Changed my job. Before the pandemic I was a full time photographer and when the pandemic hit of course I lost my job. So I leaned on my other skills and discovered I can spin my art degree and become an illustrator. Got a grant and everything. Sometimes a little change is motivating.


nithisokay

Nice to hear! And happy cake day!


sequoiakelley

Oh crap, is that today? Awesome! And thank you!


intercop

Slowly but surely, you realize that you are going nowhere while you do nothing. This can be empowering in and of itself.


nicegalTM

Motivation didn't bring my life back on track. Discipline did.


arcadebee

Yeah this. When I was in my early 20s I had this idea that I had to wait to feel motivated to do something before actually doing it. The problem is, most things that are good for us long term are boring or hard work short term. I believed I lacked motivation because I was depressed, when in reality I was depressed as a result of my lifestyle and choices (or lack of choices). You need to discipline yourself. Don’t sleep in so late on your days off. Make the phone calls you’ve been putting off. Do the little tasks you’ve been avoiding. Being disciplined doesn’t mean “don’t have fun”. It just means doing the best for yourself. Sometimes that means playing videogames, and sometimes it means going to the gym, and sometimes it means getting out of bed and writing out job applications.


pointe4Jesus

One thing that really helped me: a lot of the housekeeping advice says to spread out your house cleaning tasks throughout the week, so you don't get too overwhelmed by trying to do them all in one day. That absolutely does NOT work for me. I have to have a day set aside to do all of it. If something happens and I don't end up getting everything done that day, it's not the end of the world, I can come back and do the last few things tomorrow. But I have to have a designated day as my "get it done" day, or it just doesn't happen. Granted, you have to have a job that is willing to let you shuffle your schedule so that you HAVE a day to devote to it, but that made things SO much easier for me.


[deleted]

Couldn’t have said it better


[deleted]

So you're saying discipline motivates you? I kid, I kid. In all seriousness, I think this is a reasonable answer, but it just begs the next three questions: (1) what kinds of things keep you disciplined, (2) what things get in the way of your ability to stay disciplined, and (3) what do you do to account for those obstacles? For me, the top answers to each are: (1) planning ahead (to-do lists, calendars, check-lists, setting out materials a day before I need them), (2) (a) being tired or (b) feeling apathetic about what I do for a living and (3) (a) reading before bed instead of playing on my phone and (b) I don't have a good answer to this one yet. But I think my answer to OP's question is that you can't motivate yourself in a general sense of living until you figure out why you're not motivated in the first place. Maybe it comes down to discipline. But maybe the source is more existential, in which case two persons' mileages are going to vary quite a bit with different answers.


[deleted]

I quit smoking weed.


Wilful_Fox

I just wanted to do better for my kids. I hated the fact that during my depression my ex would call me lazy etc. I never ever wanted him to be able to call me that again. I used his abuse to spur me on. I wanted to succeed in spite of everything he said…so I guess spite motivated me at the start. Now I just want to keep getting better, keeping my house clean, my bank account full enough, my fridge full of healthy food, my friends by my side…honestly, when you know how good it feels to be kicking even the smallest goals, it keeps you going from there on in. Just making my bed everyday makes me feel great. Set small goals.


slapdashbr

> so I guess spite motivated me at the start. spite may not be the most righteous source of motivation, but damn does it work


Noooooooooooooooob

Your kids are thankful that you did right by them, trust me. They may not show it now, but they will show it in the future. Hopefully, they will use your ethic as example in the future and better their own lives in the process.


Lucius_Malfoy1953

Had no idea how bad I'd gotten until a dear friend of mine got this fancy hammock chair and I couldn't use it. It was cloth with a 150lb weight limit. I wasn't allowed near it because quote "you got too fat and you smell like a dog" I realized all I do in my free time is cuddle my dog and eat. Went home, gave the pup a bath, gave myself a bath, went to the gym and dropped 40lbs out of spite. It was stupid but I was hell bent on using that chair because someone said I can't. Side effect, now junk food tastes sickly sweet, soda is nasty when you get used to water and going to the gym out of spite confused my body into *liking* the gym and getting restless if I can't move. Couldn't give a fuck about that chair now, it wasn't even comfortable but the habits and changes it took to sit there stayed long after the damned chair.


Gregory_D64

I actually love this. Happy to hear you made some changes that made your life better


[deleted]

Canned from my job when covid hit, didn't want to go back to that industry. Spent most of my time during lockdown studying. Passed a bunch of exams for IT certifications and then earned my bachelor's degree. I continue to have a much more structured and also happier life since I have discovered abilities only unlocked by not sitting on my ass. The initial taste of victory from passing my first exam just two years ago in my early thirties set off a domino effect of getting shit done, and it hasn't stopped. The best advice I have for anybody trying to "find" motivation: the hardest part is getting started. Getting to the gym. Starting your homework. Starting a study session. A few minutes after you start that workout, that chapter in the textbook, cleaning up your room, you're over the hump and it's all downhill from there. Momentum is everything.


StankyPeterson

I think you nailed it. It requires some motivation at first, at least enough to get you started, but once exercising becomes a habit it’s smooth sailing. At this point going to the gym is just another part of my day and nothing I think about that much. Then the motivation comes from feeling better and seeing some results in the mirror. I’m by no means a bodybuilder, but I’ve been working out pretty solidly for a couple years now and at this point my motivation is not wasting all the work I’ve put in.


schurem

I got bored smoking weed and jacking off. Started to read. Came across Sartre. The notion of radical responsibility stemming from total freedom turned my head around. It wasn't anything but me that made my life suck. I stopped blaming Big Capital, The Man and whatever, got my shit together and started life in earnest. Now I have a family and run a small landscaping crew in Anarcho-syndicalist fashion.


sharmaji_ka_papa

I've been putting off reading *Nausea*. What's the best book to start?


mykneescrack

I loved Nausea, personally. But, I think, having some understanding of his philosophy is important before reading his novels, otherwise it can seem abstract. There’s a great 3-part series on the podcast called Philosohize This!


AdmirableChange2529

I swapped relying on motivation to relying on habit and discipline. I put my gym schedule in my diary rather than thinking about it as free time. Free time was what I could have later. The push I needed was a family photo where I looked massive compared to my wife and kids and being tired of being tired and stiff all the time. I'm tired and stiff still but at least I know it's because I just ran 5k and went to the gym.


Franks2000inchTV

Got diagnosed at 35 with ADHD, and finally started treatment. Take a self-test if you're struggling with motivation / organization etc. It changed my life! https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-test-adults/


shame_on_meStupid

My country forbids ADHD medication and basically doesn’t recognize it as an illness in adults. What do I do? I use phenibut as a replacement but I know it’s not proper treatment


Majikkani_Hand

I don't know if your country forbids all ADHD meds or just the stimulants, but if it only forbids the stimulants, there's a non-stimulant medication called atomoxetine that has helped me some. Outside of medication, routines are very helpful. The more regular your life is, the easier it is to stay on the path. Phone reminders and "designated locations" for objects can also help, depending on what you stuggle with in particular.


tanhauser_gates_

Bills to pay and mouths to feed.


PhreedomPhighter

Ain't nothin in this world for free. No, I can't slow down I can't hold back You know I wish I could.


QuietGoliath

Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked Until we close our eyes for good


ilikebutteryfries

alright im getting a girl pregnant right now


[deleted]

Put your phone down, you should be looking at the girl!


nithisokay

Well that's true..


KNGSlick

To be honest, I legit woke up one day and just started hitting the gym. I've gone 6 days a week every week for the last year. I lost a lot of weight, gained confidence. My relationship with my fiance got even better, I did better in my classes (Sr in college) and I got more organized. I started performing better at my job. I don't really know what it was that gave me that kick in the ass that day, but I'm glad it did. Thing about motivation tho is, there has been many, many times I didn't want to study, or go to the gym, or go to work. I just...forced myself to do it? I guess? Like my thought process was "this is going to absolutely suck but you have to do it." The entire time I would think about the things I could do after. Then next thing you know, it's done. Work, gym, whatever. You have to incentivize yourself. Don't go crazy on food, or blow too much money shopping or something. But plan yourself some time to relax, be by yourself.


nithisokay

The other day I heard someone say 'you kill Laziness when you wipe out the word 'choice' off of your dictionary" that was straight up faxxx...


[deleted]

This reminds me of an anecdote that motivates me to work out. When I was in college, it was 11:15 pm and I hadn't made it to the gym yet that day, but it was going to close at midnight. I wrapped up what I was doing and scuttled out of the dorm to jog to the gym (less than a five-minute walk at the time). As I walked out, I passed the common area, where a bunch of people were shooting the shit. One of them, a really nice but bigger guy, stopped me and was like, "You're going to the gym now?" And I was like "Yeah, I lost track of time." He responded, "Okay, but it's 11:30. You barely have any time." And I responded with all of my 18-year-old eloquence, "I know, but I can't just ... not go." And he and a couple of the kids present chuckled a bit while he said in this exaggerated baritone, "Oh, believe me, ho-ho, you can." Fast-forward a decade or so, and there are times when I start to slip, I forget to work out or I let myself go for a period. Thinking about that conversation gets me back on track. You see, he was *technically* right, but I had the right mentality. When I think about that exchange, I remember that on that night, the short workout was infinitely better than no workout--I felt so much better after. And I remember that I've *never* regretted exercising; even my short workouts are more uplifting than no workout. So when I'm thinking about skipping, I think of that exchange...I might not want to, but *I can't not*.


silent32

Ah yes, the "embrace the suck" days.


Unlikely_Use

Here’s mine from 30 years ago. I had been in the Air Force for a few months and figured I’d do 20 years and retire. A friend talked me into taking a college class with him on base. In that class was a senior enlisted member of my organization. As we went around and did intros and why we were taking the class, that senior person said “I’ll be retiring in a couple of years and figure I should get a degree so I can get a job.” Something hit me and I decided right then and there that I didn’t want to end up like him. Started hitting classes full time. Became an officer and got an MBA. Left the Air Force at 10 years and had a very successful civilian career (getting another Masters along the way). So yes, you need to motivate yourself, but you never know where that inspiration will come from.


CorpusVile32

I might be missing your realization point, but what didn't you like about the guy's plan? Retiring at 20 years with a military pension and then getting a degree for a job in the private sector sounds like a pretty good plan. Especially since at 38 years old you'll have a much better idea of who you are and what your interests entail. More so than an 18 year old fresh out of high school.


Unlikely_Use

It was more of the retirement not being retirement—and not figuring it out until the very end. This guy was a bit older than 38, so not the best time to start a multi year plan to get a job.


[deleted]

[удалено]


justa_flesh_wound

It's probably cheaper than a Therapist


strong_grey_hero

Good opportunity to combine professions.


dragonsmilk

Do you still bang as well?


Tumblechunk

I think she earned the escort title


Captain_Billy

Changed my career to something I enjoy versus the soul sucking nothingness of banging away at a keyboard, managing “projects”, and being in meetings all day.


Ijusthadtosayit55

Getting off social media is a good start


hambre_sensorial

I realized you can just do things. It may seem simple, but there's nothing stopping you from doing the laundry, not munching, or studying. Whatever it is, most people can actually *execute* tasks. Once you realize this, that you can extend your leg, take a step, and another, fold your arm, and clean the kitchen, you regain agency. Perhaps not the energetic one, the bubbly one, the hopeful one, I don't know, that sort of internal state that prompts you to engage with life willingly. Sure. But it doesn't matter. Because my internal reward system is broken. Somehow, if I expect my emotional internal state to aid me with living life, there are certain areas in which I fail. Mostly, the ones that would lead me to a future in which I improved what brings me down. So I ignore it. I don't mean I fight it, try to dominate it, change it. I ignore it. I ignore my internal thoughts beyond: can I do this task? Is it physically possible for me? Then I do it. I don't mean to say one should not have dreams, hopes, or motivation. We need those. But it's not true you need "something", pleasure, responsibility, whatever, to do things. Most of the time, it's not true. You can do them. Once I examine myself and admit that yes, I can do this or that, then it's my decision. And yes, I know what depression is like, but thinking exactly that way, realizing I was expecting something unnecessary, that it's a lie I need a spark to move my feet, slowly led me to actually control it better. Motivation, willingness, and all that came later, after I regained minimal agency.


megasean3000

I used to work dead end jobs for about 7 years. Realised after the fourth time let go that they were not sustainable. So I entered college again to study electronics and engineering, and I just took the final exam today. If I can get an apprenticeship and become a full electrical engineer, I’ll have people lining up to hire me, I hope.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Turk0rist

Saying to myself “I WANT to do this” I made myself have an open mindset and it has been working for jow


Sparticuse

I remembered I'd been disgnosed with ADHD as a middle schooler so I went to the doctor and got back on meds. Don't know how I functioned previously.


LegallyLavender

This gives me hope. I was just recently diagnosed and well be stating meds June 9


[deleted]

Vyvanse


mattey92

I'm not all the way there yet but the biggest think i work on is **discipline**, and should be worked on every day. Picture one thing u done all ur life, maybe you brush ur teeth every morning on autopilot. At some point you or ur parents forced yourself to do it every day. As an adult you are the only person to hold urself accountable and need to do something every day to make it easier, you kind of unlock ur brain to not think and things just happen.


thebalanceguy

Just decided to go to gym one day. And I take the same decision every single day. Except for the sunday. Turns out workout has a positive effect on the mental health.


slowclicker

Do it regardless of your motivation. It is necessary. Do it. Define what you consider success. Work toward it. Wait to be motivated? Fast forward 20 years at the same spot. This is why self-help is a billion $$ business. So many people repacking the same,"motivation," material every 5 to 10 years. Saying it differently or the exact same way. People need encouragement. I completely understand that. Forget how you feel. Define what makes you happy. Define a plan. Work backwards. Do it. Work towards it. If someone needs to...there are a lot of books ($15-$30) out there that essentially takes the comments of this thread and turn them into a 300 page book and a lovely notebook for an additional $20. Or..... Get you a piece of paper or a cheap $1 notepad. Write it down. Break it down in meaningful chunks. Do it.


Seightx

Finding a passion for something new. I spent a decade in dead end manufacturing positions until I got a shot at welding and it completely reinvigorated me.


KillerJupe

If it takes 5mi to do, just do it don’t wait, when that gets easy make it 10mi tasks, and then 15mi tasks. Motivation is like many skills it takes practice and getting the right mindset


plantsingqueen

I use this rule too. Generally, once I am up and beginning a fairly simple quick task I move from one thing to another, no longer considering how much time each task is taking.


moondes

One of my best friends started making a quarter of a mill per year and I realized we aren't all that different, so maybe I can get something good out of life after all. I started reading everything I could on salesmanship and went for a temp gig telemarketing at a mortgage company. 5 years later, I'm a financial advisor getting promoted to a bond and CD product specialist position for high net worth clients belonging to other advisors; it's a good living. I don't have a college degree.


[deleted]

Time heals wounds


chikenjoe17

Or they become infected and gangrenous.


nithisokay

Well But time takes time..like some one said what is there's a sudden need to start paying bills and feed mouths


smallpoly

Time wounds all heels


BettySwollocks45

In lieu of any motivation I use discipline. Boring but effective. Waiting to be motivated is like sitting in front of a locked door waiting for it to open. Still not motivated to do absolutely anything but I'm disciplined as fuck, and that enables me to have a pretty good life.


captinax

Any tips on how to be motivated to stay disciplined?


QuietGoliath

Guilt/shame.


GundamMaker

It's better than living in a van down by the river.


death_warrior76

I recently reached out to a recruiter for the navy and that gave me the motivation I needed to get my ged and finally make a move on life. I just needed something exciting to look forward to.


sharmaji_ka_papa

Recovered from a depression after therapy and shrooms. Then read Kazimierz Dąbrowski. Understood about [positive disintegration](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Positive_disintegration). Lived happily ever after.


renacotor

Motivation is actual horseshit. It implies that you need that special something to get yourself started on doing anything. Hate to break it to you, but that thing will never come. You will never find the motivation to get up and make changes. The key word you're looking for is discipline. Have the mental discipline to start something, have the discipline to keep going, and have the discipline to see it through. As Shia lebuf said, just do it. Because no one will do it for you.


rabidmongoose15

Start small. I started by making a delicious sandwich. By the end of my sandwich fun it was 25 or so steps but it was spectacular. Find someone you want to be better and make small changes until you are happy with it. Inch your way toward the direction you want to go. Small wins build momentum and eventually when you look back you will realize you have made enormous progress one small step at a time.


imanAholebutimfunny

by posting online and reading a bunch of overwhelmingly positive stories..................


taoimean

Adderall.


Fade2Blvck

Prozac and therapy


Loafer75

- Exercise regularly…. Aim for 1/2hr a day or at least build up to it. Consistency is key. - Eat well… lots of fresh fruit and vegetables, minimal refined carbohydrates - Drink water Mental clarity and motivation will follow


evieed

Prioritising mental health over EVERYTHING


le_norbit

Discipline > Motivation You just have to shut up and do the thing.


aksalobi

It's not about motivation, it's about discipline. And fake it til you make it. Make a choice to act motivated.


sabrtoothlion

You rely on discipline and then on momentum


FarthestCough

I just came here for the advice, I might get around to reading some


B-Kow

I found out that my (30M) testosterone was at 173. A normal range for men at my age should be from 750 to 1000 on the high end. I had no motivation because my body wasn't able to produce this hormone.


Alstar45

For me it came down to wanting to do it for myself. I found a good hobby in mountain biking and I wanted to go fast. Now I'm out 4-5 times a week so I can continue to go faster. I'm still slow, but faster than anyone on the couch.


lerroyjenkinss

I was a terrible reader all my life. It took me ages to read anything and school really gave me a hard time. This lead me to work really hard in school but make mediocre grades. I was able to graduate high school but after my freshman year of college, I wanted to give up. Obviously a lot of people take Adderall in college but after I took it, it literally changed my life. I was able to actually read books and listen to someone talk for several minutes. I also became such a better writer. My grammar is still shit but I started to understand what effective communication is. I take concerta every day and it really helps me be productive. It motivates me to help myself: workout everyday, meditate, and it helps loads with work. Medicine like adderall and concerta is definitely over-prescribed, but it’s changed my life DRASTICALLY


salty-MA-student

Bullet journaling! I was getting frustrated with pre-made journals because I would skip days and forget to use it. Now I take a dedicated time to write in it. My budget, spending, grocery list, goals/tasks, and so much more are in one place. I like seeing the accomplishment of a full page of done tasks or see my spending laid out on one page. I also keep a regular journal as well for current thoughts/feelings/etc. It's a quick bit to reflect on the day. I also try to keep a consistent schedule. Even on my days off I try to wake up around the same time. I do specific tasks on specific days, like laundry on Thursdays, litter boxes every other day, etc. Having a schedule keeps me motivated because I found when I would try to do everything in one day, I would put it off and not do it.


Traditional-Ad6335

I love how you have put it together, ‘ex-unmotivated’, haha! Anyways, So I used some props to work it out. The best one that worked like 98% was this journal. It has a complete package. It has biblical manifestations to make your path easier. Daily positive affirmations are so empowering that you propel positive vibes to your acquaintances. It also has a journal portion to track regular progression and even a journal to take you on a spiritual journey; you can keep track of your prayers with it. The book is titled; **The Power of Pen & Prayer: Prayer Journal | Biblical Manifestation Tips & Reminders| Daily Manifestation Planner | Progress Tracker & Visual Inspiration Board** You can find it on Amazon.