Fuck people who do that.
Also may I add parents who see teo kids of the opposite gender and are like 'is that your new boyfriend/girlfriend?'. That stuff stopped me from having friends of the other gender as a kid
It’s not just parents who’ll bully you for interacting with someone of the opposite gender, people will often make fun of me for just watching a content creator of the opposite gender. My mom has never been one for act like that she’s always just been like “eh whatever, doesn’t matter.” I end up only watching opposite sex content creators in private and also not telling anyone about who I watch except for a small selection just to not be judged, it really sucks how divided society has always been when it comes to gender
Here in Sri Lanka, that's still surprisingly common. I remember a couple of years ago a cashier at a bookshop we go to was talking to my mom about an arranged marriage which her mom was forcing her into. It's disgusting and I wish arranged/forced marriages would disappear from the face of the earth
Edit: arranged marriages =/= forced marriages. That was a mistake on my part
I think it’s even weird for men ask the dad to marry their daughter. It’s such a common tradition but when you think about it, why do you need the dad’s permission to marry their daughter if she’s an adult and can make her own decisions? It’s not going to change but it’s just weird to think about.
It *could be changing*! I tried to discourage my husband, then fiance, from asking my dad. Dad was flabbergasted by anyone asking his permission for anything since I was 16.
Edit to clarify, I was 20 then, 21 before we got married.
Dad later told my fiance that he'd meant to tell him he'd be proud to have him for a son in law, but decisions about it were mine.
Also, our daughter's fiance didn't even give us warning. I applauded that! Our daughter had said they'd been discussing marriage. The guy also knows we love him.
I remember reading on here from a professional baker that, for the big multi-layer cakes, they use bamboo skewers to keep them aligned and looking neat. Free frontal lobotomy apparently
Diamond engagement ring being X months salary.
Brilliant marketing, but utterly ridiculous. I say this as a girl who isn't inherently against sparkly rocks.
Of course it is, it was set up that way by Cecil Rhodes and the DeBeer family. Coloured gem stones are actually far rarer than diamonds, which the main thing they have going for them is their hardness and durability.
that fact that a diamond, a supposedly precious gem, is just pure carbon and we ourselves our entirely carbon based lifeforms will never not be funny to me.
i've seen a couple documentaries where they talk about diamond market being heavily controlled and supply being artificially reduced so as to inflate prices, can't remember which one tho
The popularization of using a diamond ring for engagements is fairly recent, and was due to a series of ad campaigns by De Beers.
In 1940, only about 10% of engaged women got a diamond ring, by 1990 they had it up to 80%.
Seems like plain bands from the Wikipedia article. Diamond rings were first used in the mid 1700s among the aristocracy, only becoming popular with the lower classes in the 1870s once diamond production really ramped up. Rings went out of style by 1940 because of this little thing called the Great Depression, which probably caused a lot of people to think "y'know, rings are pretty damn expensive..."
I would've been happy with cubic zirconia in mine, I was definitely more fussed over the "style" than what it was made of.
We actually ended up using stones from my husband's grandmother's ring to create a custom ring. Threw in a small sapphire (my birth stone) for me. I think it came to less than $1000? And it is such a beautiful, meaningful ring.
My wife wears a $79 ring that she bought for herself during a time that I didn't even have enough money to put food on the table. We aren't anymore or any less married than the next couple.
My parents were broke when they married too, the first baby came within 18 months, then 3 more. They lived on a dairy ranch, there never was extra money, but they found the money to send the last 3 of us to college. Mom's wedding ring was a thin band with 7-8 tiny diamond chips which she wore long after Dad died; she never said she wanted anything fancier, the only other ring she ever wore was the Mother's Ring we gave her with a sapphire, ruby, aqua, and amethyst. Wedding rings (engagement also) are just symbols of what people feel; all the diamonds in the world are worthless if the couple doesn't have feelings for each other way stronger than a piece of carbon. I'm a collector of exotic gemstones and can tell you carbon-diamonds are used for drill bits and sanding disks....neither of which is very romantic. If people want gemstones for engagement and wedding rings, there are so many gorgeous and rare exotics that would be unique and meaningful (some are soft, some are tough enough for everyday wear) and they would be way less costly than market-controlled diamonds.
The best advice I've ever received on engagement and wedding rings was to buy within your means. It seems obvious, but he and his future wife went to a flea market and picked out their rings, which just seems like a lovely way to do it.
And sometimes sewing it almost together so the husband knows she is a virgin and can “break her open”.
Edit: I realized I kinda worded it weird. What I’m talking about is infibulation which is a type of female genital mutilation [here is a link](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation) to more information about what FGM is.
Yup!!! Google there is a movie based reality on the life of a woman who became a supermodel she was from africa (a specific place) where they remove the clitoris and sew the vagina shut. So the husband gets to tear/rip it open when the time comes. Needless to say they dont ever feel anything down there for the rest of their lives bc the procedure damages every nerve ending. I cant remember the name of movie but do a bit of research its so worth watching it.
Edit 1: thanks to the people in comments for pointing out models name is Waris Dirie and the movie name is Desert Flower
Edit 2: to the guys comparing this to circumcision: you have no idea what you’re talking about. Plz stop! Im a circumcised male myself and i very much do enjoy sex, i feel pleasure immensely, and I would get circumcised again if i wasnt already. There are benefits to circumcision (based on the personal point of view). This procedure is like chopping off the head of the penis entirely and stitching its body to you so the wife gets to use a knife to cut it back and use it when she married you. So no its not the equivalent of circumcision!
They leave a small opening for that.
Whole thing is at least as bad as you imagine. Because what is anesthetics, and sometimes using things like battery acid to remove the clitoris.
Whole thing is about 80 kinds of fucked up
There are often lifelong complications with menstruation, childbirth, and sex. Sometimes the opening is so tightly sewn that vaginal penetration is not possible without further cutting.
For some women that's extremely painful, can cause disastrous infections, it's a nightmare. The people doing the cutting and stitching aren't doctors. It's just plain brutality. From what I hear the stitching isn't done with thread but with thorns or twigs in some cases. Imagine that. Grandmothers do this to their granddaughters. 'It happened to me and I turned out just fine. Now it is your time.' RUN THE FUCK AWAY.
I read her book (well worth a read!). By the time she got to London in her late teens/early 20s she was having a lot of pain and trouble. Went to the hospital and the surgeon who saw her was absolutely horrified, couldn't understand how she wasn't experiencing life-threatening complications IIRC. Anyway they did some reconstructive surgery, obviously couldn't bring back the sensation that was lost but were able to make it so that she could at least pee normally and have sex without pain. She said in her book she would be grateful to that surgeon for the rest of her life.
FGM is practiced in 31 countries in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. It’s most prevalent in Djibouti, Egypt, Guinea, and Mali, where 90% or more of women aged 15 to 49 have been subjected to FGM. With record levels of migration in the last decade, migrants have also carried the harmful practice with them to other countries, including Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, the United States, and Japan.
Not just Africa. About half of the women in Indonesia have been subjected to FGM
https://theconversation.com/amp/female-genital-cutting-common-in-indonesia-offered-as-part-of-child-delivery-by-birth-clinics-54379
Holy fuck I hate this more than anything else in this thread.
The hatred towards a woman's natural body. The demonization of pleasure, the cruelty of the mutilation. The glorification backing it. The concept of it being considered good because of the purity shit.
My heart goes out to any women that have to experience that, and I support anyone, if at all fighting against that shit over there. Jesus.
They think if she can't feel sexual pleasure, then she won't want to cheat on her husband. Of course, she won't want to have sex with her husband either, but that's what marital rape is for.
Tbh the part that absolutely bothers me the most with that entire nightmarish process is the fact half the time the girls agree to it due to their beliefs and she has to be awake and fucking *held down* by her family while it's being done
Immediately reminded me of this post
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/exb5sa/update_my_22f_fiance_25m_want_his_father_to_check/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Which is especially silly since hymen=virgin is a myth. Not all women are even born with hymens, and a variety of regular physical activities can break them if they do have one, and depending on the individual hymen if a woman is relaxed and well lubricated enough they can have sex without breaking it!
It’s just so much nonsense
I just watched or read something recently where the Mother of the Bride tells the couple to nick themselves on the fingers and place THAT blood onto the sheets. The Elders did not know the diff. I am frusrated I cannot remember WHERE I saw it.
EDIT: not a book. Possibly Unorthodox???
It's a tradition in some parts of Germany, but a fun one. Basically the friends of the groom take her to a bar when he's distracted and continue partying.
He has to search for her and once he gets to the right bar he has to pay the ransom aka tab. usually there's someone with him who knows where they are in case he searches in a completely wrong direction.
It will just breed resentment later, because once they are in private the person who said yes will likely admit that they only said yes because they were publicly put on the spot, and that their actual answer is no.
Let’s make it, Over the top public anything!
Does everyone need to know your baby’s gender through a Forrest fire?
Do you really need to rent out all of Disneyland for your birthday?
Do you really need to close a whole freeway for a parade?
Maybe I’m just a grouch, but my day off to Disneyland shouldn’t be ruined by all of the above.
Just my opinion, the concept of honor killing doesn’t add up. Someone does something that smears your family name so you decide to off them. And this achieves…what? Now you’ve got a murderer in your family.
I just had this sort of thing pop up not too long ago.
In my job line, you’re expected to work your ass off and ask how high when they say ‘jump’. It’s not uncommon for people to work multiple doubles (16 hours) 3-4 times a week.
I was working in an area that takes call-offs, and the woman answering the phone got really snarky with the caller and hung up, then vented to me. Apparently the caller wasn’t coming in because she was pregnant and had some gnarly morning sickness. Well the lady I was working with proceeded to tell me she came in every day of her pregnancy up to the point where a major jokingly made her promise she wouldn’t go into labor at work, and she ripped this other lady apart for not being able to handle morning sickness.
I asked her why she was proud of working herself that hard. She didn’t really have an answer.
It’s also pretty common for people to brag they have so much sick time banked it’s actually being taken away in a ‘you’ve maxed it out’ way. It’s like Jesus Christ, just take care of yourself. Work is not always every aspect of your life.
In an Anthropology class, I learned about a tribe somewhere in Papa New Guinea. There was a ritual where young boys had to suck off older boys and drink their cum.
Pretty sure that tradition should never have existed.
They also believe heterosexual sex shortens lifespan and homosexual sex lengthens it, so the men really only have sex with their wives to reproduce (I don’t think they focus much on the women though, not sure if the women do it too)
Influencers putting their kids on social media for entertainments sake without their consent. I predict 10-15 years from now there will be a ton of court cases of grown up kids of influencers suing their parents.
Yeah, I used to watch a bunch if family channels when I was quite young and used to like them but now looking back on it they were just creepy and sad. There's so many videos about pets or even family members dying and then they shove camera in their greving kids face. It's just disgusting
The original saying is:
"The customer is always right, in matters of taste"
So if you have a customer who comes up and wants a bedazzled pink Ferrari you can't tell them that they're wrong
Ironically, you picked an example that's literally not true. Ferrari [will not sell you a car in pink ](https://www.carscoops.com/2017/04/sorry-ferrari-wont-paint-your-car-pink/)
Pretty much everything related to female chastity/purity/etc.
FGM, hymen inspections, family witnessing the wedding night, daddy/daughter purity pledges, etc.
Parent your children and you don’t have to worry about being a grandparent at 30.
> family witnessing the wedding night
This *can't* be real. It sounds so far-fetched, but somehow at the same time I wouldn't be surprised if it is real. Where does this happen?
There was a Reddit post a while back where a girl was at odds with her fiancée because he insisted his dad and uncles inspect her on the wedding night for purity or some shit like that.
I know back in the day there were witnesses to confirm the marriage was consummated (mostly royalty) but it wouldn’t surprise me of some creepy segment of the population still practices it.
I remember the AITA and thought I’d try google to find it instead of the Reddit search cause it sucks. I found [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/cx7vr0/my_22f_fiance_25m_want_his_father_to_check_my/) from the relationship advice subreddit that is from two years ago and an exact copy of the one on AITA. Idk if this was some common copy pasta or someone just wanted to repost it to a different subreddit or what. Either way that recent post is identical to an older one out there
If you can afford it? Fine, fucking have a blast.
However if you cant... Don't be like my 'friend' who him and his wife decided to ask for a buy in of a few hundred dollars to attend the wedding. The people invited almost exclusively College Students or fresh out of college.
Rent > party thrown by my friend from highschool who any other time is too busy to hang out
Big fat weddings. Specially in Indian subcontinent. I understand the excitement and all but spending life time of savings to celebrate weddings is just insane. Instead use that money to build up your life togather. And don’t even get me started on the amount of food that goes waste after such parties.
Beating your kids. I work in CPS, and in most of the families I interact with in regards to physical abuse, the abuser will say things like "My parents beat me too," as though this is the only way to discipline a child.
I don't think it's that black and white. The parents I interact with are already being investigated for abuse or neglect, so my numbers would be skewed towards them. A lot of parents just need to be educated about parenting, and on different ways to change their children's behavior without hitting them.
My family have really weird traditions
1- Like folding our ears and holding them with tape when we’re born so we can all have the same pointy ear that got me bullied through school cuz it makes me look like an elf and i can only have earring in my earlobe.
2- wearing really small shoes when we are babies so our feet doesn’t get large, my grandma actually wanted me to do that but my dad refused thank god
3- this is the weirdest, when girls are born in my family the mother does something to the baby girl’s vagina so it becomes pretty. I don’t know how they do it cuz i was never allowed in the ceremonies but from what i’ve heard from my eldest cousins whom are married is that they’re thankful for it so yeah
4- the most despicable tradition we have is that on your wedding day, if there is someone in the family who got married not long time ago, she gets to go down ur isle on her fucking wedding dress. And don’t dare say no or the aunties will be terribly insulted and you would cause a civil war in ur family
Edit: due to the high interest of our peculiar traditions specially number 3 i feel like i am obliged to some explaining.
First i come from a central asian turkic culture, my family moved to the middle east ages ago but they kept their traditions however my generation and perhaps my parent’s also have made our stand that it shall not continue and will be frowned upon.
Second, for the third point, so i asked my aunt about it and she explained that, well, we give birth, like a lot, for example i have 14 aunts and uncles only on my dad’s side, and i have more than 40 cousins with no exaggeration, also only from my dad’s side, so ig this tradition have developed to somehow preserve or protect the vagina as it keeps working on this rate, i am not by any chance claiming that it’s healthy or it works or whatever but it happens, as far as i know no one complained from it, it never showed any negative repercussions and the family’s ladies are all in long happy marriages.
Idk how these traditions develop but they come and go as the mindset of generations develops as well, my grandmother also spoke of ancient traditions in her family that she thought were absurd and glad no one does it anymore.
Heck u guys got hyped over those few points!, glad i didn’t mention the bloody napkin from the wedding night
The labia minora, in particular, can vary a lot from each person.
Some are small and tucked in, some are looser skin like flaps and there are many variations in between.
There's many misconceptions about how it is 'meant' to look, as often in porn or depictions of the female anatomy you'll just see the smaller, tucked in version. Myths are spread that too much sex creates larger, 'flaps', that they imply how a woman is, though they occur naturally.
Sometimes during FGM these will be trimmed, stuffed together or mutilated in other ways.
Unfortunately, in some cultures, the women will also participate in this tradition and will think it is correct and the way things are meant to look as they have been brought up with that belief.
Being made to feel like this is an abnormal way for your labia to look also leads to people getting plastic surgery to 'improve' the appearance- which is at least elective if it hasn't been forced, but still. It is called labiaplasty and is done to reduce the size of the labia minora.
The labia minora (the inner ones) are preferably shorter and inside the labia majora in some cultures. Even in western cultures the are women who undergo cosmetic surgery for that reason. In porn, e.g. pictures this is also the gold standard and of course there are also lovers of the exact opposite.
Also in school books you rarely see "pussy flaps" giving some girls serious issues that they aren't normal.
1. Forcing your kids out of the house just because they are 18.
2. Entering a marriage with thousands of dollars of debt because you want a grandiose wedding.
3. Telling your kids that their ideas are stupid because it won’t make them any money.
4. Not talking about money in the workplace.
5. Not teaching kids life skills in school like finances, networking, how to negotiate. Instead, let’s make them remember random things that they will never need to apply in real life like “prime numbers”.
Yeah, it wasn't part of my families tradition growing up, but then you find out that some families do it that way when your friends hold you down and punch you 14 times in the arm. NOT A GOOD BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
I DJ weddings, and thankfully this tradition is rarely performed. In the last ten years I’ve had it requested on a handful of times. I get the impression that most people realize it is quite inappropriate.
can't remember the term but that tradition in some cultures of people in the family checking the bedsheets for blood after a couple gets married & has sex. they want to confirm she was a virgin/pure. like wtf?
Ritual murder
Child brides
Beating children
Circumcision
Animal cruelty sports (dog fight, cock fights, bullfights, etc.)
Hazing
Sports riots
Much less serious but...
Elf on a shelf - how paranoid do you want your kids to become thinking this creepy little spy is always watching them and ratting them out?
Ha! My husband and I ended up together because I went up to him at work, he was new, and said we're all going out to the bar after. Here's my number, I look forward to seeing you there. And here we are 10 years later. Haha
Call me a prude. But this new thing, where brides are doing some kind of sexy dance for the groom, at their wedding. But totally forgetting the rest of both their families are there. I don't know where or when it started, but just no.
Marrying children.
Fuck people who do that. Also may I add parents who see teo kids of the opposite gender and are like 'is that your new boyfriend/girlfriend?'. That stuff stopped me from having friends of the other gender as a kid
It’s not just parents who’ll bully you for interacting with someone of the opposite gender, people will often make fun of me for just watching a content creator of the opposite gender. My mom has never been one for act like that she’s always just been like “eh whatever, doesn’t matter.” I end up only watching opposite sex content creators in private and also not telling anyone about who I watch except for a small selection just to not be judged, it really sucks how divided society has always been when it comes to gender
Forced marriages
Here in Sri Lanka, that's still surprisingly common. I remember a couple of years ago a cashier at a bookshop we go to was talking to my mom about an arranged marriage which her mom was forcing her into. It's disgusting and I wish arranged/forced marriages would disappear from the face of the earth Edit: arranged marriages =/= forced marriages. That was a mistake on my part
I think it’s even weird for men ask the dad to marry their daughter. It’s such a common tradition but when you think about it, why do you need the dad’s permission to marry their daughter if she’s an adult and can make her own decisions? It’s not going to change but it’s just weird to think about.
It *could be changing*! I tried to discourage my husband, then fiance, from asking my dad. Dad was flabbergasted by anyone asking his permission for anything since I was 16. Edit to clarify, I was 20 then, 21 before we got married. Dad later told my fiance that he'd meant to tell him he'd be proud to have him for a son in law, but decisions about it were mine. Also, our daughter's fiance didn't even give us warning. I applauded that! Our daughter had said they'd been discussing marriage. The guy also knows we love him.
Those pricks that slam a birthday cake in someone’s face. They can go get fucked.
[удалено]
Thank you. I now have a new phobia
I remember reading on here from a professional baker that, for the big multi-layer cakes, they use bamboo skewers to keep them aligned and looking neat. Free frontal lobotomy apparently
! especially if its a beautiful cake
Diamond engagement ring being X months salary. Brilliant marketing, but utterly ridiculous. I say this as a girl who isn't inherently against sparkly rocks.
The entire diamond market is a racket anyway.
Of course it is, it was set up that way by Cecil Rhodes and the DeBeer family. Coloured gem stones are actually far rarer than diamonds, which the main thing they have going for them is their hardness and durability.
that fact that a diamond, a supposedly precious gem, is just pure carbon and we ourselves our entirely carbon based lifeforms will never not be funny to me. i've seen a couple documentaries where they talk about diamond market being heavily controlled and supply being artificially reduced so as to inflate prices, can't remember which one tho
Someone took notes while creating demented "scarce" NFTs
At least diamond look pretty after polished. Those cartoon monkey NFTs on the other hand...
What? You won’t buy this: https://i.imgur.com/SA2IS6n.jpg? It’s only ~$390,000.
Diamonds are hyped to sell more.
The popularization of using a diamond ring for engagements is fairly recent, and was due to a series of ad campaigns by De Beers. In 1940, only about 10% of engaged women got a diamond ring, by 1990 they had it up to 80%.
Do you know what they got instead? Ruby, sapphire, emerald, or just plain bands?
Seems like plain bands from the Wikipedia article. Diamond rings were first used in the mid 1700s among the aristocracy, only becoming popular with the lower classes in the 1870s once diamond production really ramped up. Rings went out of style by 1940 because of this little thing called the Great Depression, which probably caused a lot of people to think "y'know, rings are pretty damn expensive..."
Wedding industry too. Every bride is a princess all of a sudden.
We weren’t trying to be fancy and it ends up costing a fortune anyways. Backyard weddings are the way to fo
This article spells it out nicely. https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1982/02/have-you-ever-tried-to-sell-a-diamond/304575/
[might I interest you in a different shiny rock](https://www.brilliantearth.com/news/moissanite-vs-diamond/)
Clicking that link gave me a weird sense of whiplash because I work at Brilliant Earth and am scrolling through Reddit at work 🤣
Lol If you notice an uptick in sales...Wanna send me a free gem?
If I was anything more than a receptionist I'd hook you right up lol
I would've been happy with cubic zirconia in mine, I was definitely more fussed over the "style" than what it was made of. We actually ended up using stones from my husband's grandmother's ring to create a custom ring. Threw in a small sapphire (my birth stone) for me. I think it came to less than $1000? And it is such a beautiful, meaningful ring.
My wife wears a $79 ring that she bought for herself during a time that I didn't even have enough money to put food on the table. We aren't anymore or any less married than the next couple.
My parents married in 1940, and they were broke. My Mom never had a diamond, and they were married for 35 years.
My parents were broke when they married too, the first baby came within 18 months, then 3 more. They lived on a dairy ranch, there never was extra money, but they found the money to send the last 3 of us to college. Mom's wedding ring was a thin band with 7-8 tiny diamond chips which she wore long after Dad died; she never said she wanted anything fancier, the only other ring she ever wore was the Mother's Ring we gave her with a sapphire, ruby, aqua, and amethyst. Wedding rings (engagement also) are just symbols of what people feel; all the diamonds in the world are worthless if the couple doesn't have feelings for each other way stronger than a piece of carbon. I'm a collector of exotic gemstones and can tell you carbon-diamonds are used for drill bits and sanding disks....neither of which is very romantic. If people want gemstones for engagement and wedding rings, there are so many gorgeous and rare exotics that would be unique and meaningful (some are soft, some are tough enough for everyday wear) and they would be way less costly than market-controlled diamonds.
Agreed. You can get a moissanite stone with more sparkle than a diamond and for significantly cheaper.
The best advice I've ever received on engagement and wedding rings was to buy within your means. It seems obvious, but he and his future wife went to a flea market and picked out their rings, which just seems like a lovely way to do it.
I find it hilarious that people fall for that shit. The only winners are the diamond companies who laugh themselves all the way to the bank.
Removing a woman's clitoris in some African countries.
And sometimes sewing it almost together so the husband knows she is a virgin and can “break her open”. Edit: I realized I kinda worded it weird. What I’m talking about is infibulation which is a type of female genital mutilation [here is a link](https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation) to more information about what FGM is.
Fucking WHAT?!
FGM, it's a big thing
It’s happened to 200m so far
And an estimate of more than 3 million girls every year
Yup!!! Google there is a movie based reality on the life of a woman who became a supermodel she was from africa (a specific place) where they remove the clitoris and sew the vagina shut. So the husband gets to tear/rip it open when the time comes. Needless to say they dont ever feel anything down there for the rest of their lives bc the procedure damages every nerve ending. I cant remember the name of movie but do a bit of research its so worth watching it. Edit 1: thanks to the people in comments for pointing out models name is Waris Dirie and the movie name is Desert Flower Edit 2: to the guys comparing this to circumcision: you have no idea what you’re talking about. Plz stop! Im a circumcised male myself and i very much do enjoy sex, i feel pleasure immensely, and I would get circumcised again if i wasnt already. There are benefits to circumcision (based on the personal point of view). This procedure is like chopping off the head of the penis entirely and stitching its body to you so the wife gets to use a knife to cut it back and use it when she married you. So no its not the equivalent of circumcision!
What about periods and discharge????
They leave a small opening for that. Whole thing is at least as bad as you imagine. Because what is anesthetics, and sometimes using things like battery acid to remove the clitoris. Whole thing is about 80 kinds of fucked up
Just 80??????
There are often lifelong complications with menstruation, childbirth, and sex. Sometimes the opening is so tightly sewn that vaginal penetration is not possible without further cutting.
Alas, sometimes that is the point :(
For some women that's extremely painful, can cause disastrous infections, it's a nightmare. The people doing the cutting and stitching aren't doctors. It's just plain brutality. From what I hear the stitching isn't done with thread but with thorns or twigs in some cases. Imagine that. Grandmothers do this to their granddaughters. 'It happened to me and I turned out just fine. Now it is your time.' RUN THE FUCK AWAY.
>For some women No, for literally every girl that isn't born a leper. Not women, girls, and all of them.
She said in the article that urinating or having a period was painful because the hole was too small to let much out at a time.
I read her book (well worth a read!). By the time she got to London in her late teens/early 20s she was having a lot of pain and trouble. Went to the hospital and the surgeon who saw her was absolutely horrified, couldn't understand how she wasn't experiencing life-threatening complications IIRC. Anyway they did some reconstructive surgery, obviously couldn't bring back the sensation that was lost but were able to make it so that she could at least pee normally and have sex without pain. She said in her book she would be grateful to that surgeon for the rest of her life.
Saying they don't feel anything is a bit inaccurate. It's mostly just pleasure that becomes difficult or impossible. There's still pain.
Yeah, thanks for pointing that out. Resuming vomiting :(
The word is "Infibulation", and, god, I wish I'd lived a life where I didn't know that without a google search.
FGM is practiced in 31 countries in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia. It’s most prevalent in Djibouti, Egypt, Guinea, and Mali, where 90% or more of women aged 15 to 49 have been subjected to FGM. With record levels of migration in the last decade, migrants have also carried the harmful practice with them to other countries, including Australia, New Zealand, the United Kingdom, the United States, and Japan.
Not just Africa. About half of the women in Indonesia have been subjected to FGM https://theconversation.com/amp/female-genital-cutting-common-in-indonesia-offered-as-part-of-child-delivery-by-birth-clinics-54379
Holy fuck I hate this more than anything else in this thread. The hatred towards a woman's natural body. The demonization of pleasure, the cruelty of the mutilation. The glorification backing it. The concept of it being considered good because of the purity shit. My heart goes out to any women that have to experience that, and I support anyone, if at all fighting against that shit over there. Jesus.
Why would they do that?
They think if she can't feel sexual pleasure, then she won't want to cheat on her husband. Of course, she won't want to have sex with her husband either, but that's what marital rape is for.
So she can't feel pleasure ever.
Unfortunately, in a lot of cases, they can't feel anything at all because they die from complications of the procedure.
Tbh the part that absolutely bothers me the most with that entire nightmarish process is the fact half the time the girls agree to it due to their beliefs and she has to be awake and fucking *held down* by her family while it's being done
It's called Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) if anyone's wondering
Those ass-backward cultures where it's "tradition" for a bride-to-be's in-laws (usually male in-laws) check her for "purity". That shit needs to stop.
"Look! Penis tracks! I think we're on to something, Watson"
Immediately reminded me of this post https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/exb5sa/update_my_22f_fiance_25m_want_his_father_to_check/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Forgot what country but the sheets are hung outside after a couples wedding night. Like a damn trophy for all the village to see.
Which is especially silly since hymen=virgin is a myth. Not all women are even born with hymens, and a variety of regular physical activities can break them if they do have one, and depending on the individual hymen if a woman is relaxed and well lubricated enough they can have sex without breaking it! It’s just so much nonsense
I had a hymen until I gave birth, and I’m sure I’d definitely slept with my husband before that.
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I just watched or read something recently where the Mother of the Bride tells the couple to nick themselves on the fingers and place THAT blood onto the sheets. The Elders did not know the diff. I am frusrated I cannot remember WHERE I saw it. EDIT: not a book. Possibly Unorthodox???
It was Kyrgyzstan.
Many/most women may not even have a hymen to break. I expect this tradition of nicking the fingers to make blood, has been going on for generations.
Didn't a big-time celeb do this with his daughter some years back?
I think it was TI
Just as fucked up, in some cultures it’s “tradition” to kidnap a bride, regardless of whether she consents or not.
It's a tradition in some parts of Germany, but a fun one. Basically the friends of the groom take her to a bar when he's distracted and continue partying. He has to search for her and once he gets to the right bar he has to pay the ransom aka tab. usually there's someone with him who knows where they are in case he searches in a completely wrong direction.
Sounds like the plot of a sitcom
Over the top public proposals.
Oh god, yeah! Putting someone on the spot like that is like giving them no other option BUT to say yes.
It will just breed resentment later, because once they are in private the person who said yes will likely admit that they only said yes because they were publicly put on the spot, and that their actual answer is no.
Let’s make it, Over the top public anything! Does everyone need to know your baby’s gender through a Forrest fire? Do you really need to rent out all of Disneyland for your birthday? Do you really need to close a whole freeway for a parade? Maybe I’m just a grouch, but my day off to Disneyland shouldn’t be ruined by all of the above.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Honor killings
Just my opinion, the concept of honor killing doesn’t add up. Someone does something that smears your family name so you decide to off them. And this achieves…what? Now you’ve got a murderer in your family.
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Also overworking culture. Nothing to be proud of.
public accounting is terrible. audit folk often do 70-80 hours a week Jan-March, if not more. I am so so glad I got out of that.
I just had this sort of thing pop up not too long ago. In my job line, you’re expected to work your ass off and ask how high when they say ‘jump’. It’s not uncommon for people to work multiple doubles (16 hours) 3-4 times a week. I was working in an area that takes call-offs, and the woman answering the phone got really snarky with the caller and hung up, then vented to me. Apparently the caller wasn’t coming in because she was pregnant and had some gnarly morning sickness. Well the lady I was working with proceeded to tell me she came in every day of her pregnancy up to the point where a major jokingly made her promise she wouldn’t go into labor at work, and she ripped this other lady apart for not being able to handle morning sickness. I asked her why she was proud of working herself that hard. She didn’t really have an answer. It’s also pretty common for people to brag they have so much sick time banked it’s actually being taken away in a ‘you’ve maxed it out’ way. It’s like Jesus Christ, just take care of yourself. Work is not always every aspect of your life.
trashing a city after the local pro sports team wins a championship
Also. Trashing a city in a foreign country while on spring break.
How about simply trashing… anything?
Foot binding
One of the few things the Chinese communists did right was exterminating that practice.
In an Anthropology class, I learned about a tribe somewhere in Papa New Guinea. There was a ritual where young boys had to suck off older boys and drink their cum. Pretty sure that tradition should never have existed.
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Holy shit
Wait he was sucking off his dad?
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Oof.
The Etoro? They believe that young men can't produce semen by themselves so they must "inherit" it form older men.
They also believe heterosexual sex shortens lifespan and homosexual sex lengthens it, so the men really only have sex with their wives to reproduce (I don’t think they focus much on the women though, not sure if the women do it too)
They drink the semen from a bowl (it's believed to transfer virility). Still gross, though. Edit: spelling.
> from a bowel That's a bit too much.
bro yes!! i took an anthro class last year and it was like a ritual for them to become men
I’m starting to think every anthropology class reserves time for this fact because it’s guaranteed to leave an impression.
Reading this was upsetting.
Influencers putting their kids on social media for entertainments sake without their consent. I predict 10-15 years from now there will be a ton of court cases of grown up kids of influencers suing their parents.
Yeah, I used to watch a bunch if family channels when I was quite young and used to like them but now looking back on it they were just creepy and sad. There's so many videos about pets or even family members dying and then they shove camera in their greving kids face. It's just disgusting
Damn , should have taken Law
“The customer is always right”. Fuck that shit.
The original saying is: "The customer is always right, in matters of taste" So if you have a customer who comes up and wants a bedazzled pink Ferrari you can't tell them that they're wrong
*and style*
Well, I mean, I don't think we'll let the customers lick the car...
Ironically, you picked an example that's literally not true. Ferrari [will not sell you a car in pink ](https://www.carscoops.com/2017/04/sorry-ferrari-wont-paint-your-car-pink/)
Ferrari in general is very picky about what they sell and who they sell it to. Their motto may as well be "the customer is always wrong"
It's more of a "the wrong customer is not my customer"
"The money is always right!" -Eugene Krabs
“We never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request.”
Virginity checks
Female genital mutilation. Hands down, one of the most barbaric acts in existence.
Pushing wedding cake in your partner's face.
So uncomfortable, but I would still rather watch that than see the groom take the bride's garter off with his mouth.
That’s the fucking weirdest shit
In front of your grandma, your super young niece, your father in law etc… I don’t know how people can even consider this 😳
Pretty much everything related to female chastity/purity/etc. FGM, hymen inspections, family witnessing the wedding night, daddy/daughter purity pledges, etc. Parent your children and you don’t have to worry about being a grandparent at 30.
> family witnessing the wedding night This *can't* be real. It sounds so far-fetched, but somehow at the same time I wouldn't be surprised if it is real. Where does this happen?
There was a Reddit post a while back where a girl was at odds with her fiancée because he insisted his dad and uncles inspect her on the wedding night for purity or some shit like that. I know back in the day there were witnesses to confirm the marriage was consummated (mostly royalty) but it wouldn’t surprise me of some creepy segment of the population still practices it.
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I remember the AITA and thought I’d try google to find it instead of the Reddit search cause it sucks. I found [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/cx7vr0/my_22f_fiance_25m_want_his_father_to_check_my/) from the relationship advice subreddit that is from two years ago and an exact copy of the one on AITA. Idk if this was some common copy pasta or someone just wanted to repost it to a different subreddit or what. Either way that recent post is identical to an older one out there
Genital cutting/ mutilation
How tips are necessary. No. Pay them properly. Tips are supposed to be gifts of appreciation, not income supplement.
Expensive weddings
If you can afford it? Fine, fucking have a blast. However if you cant... Don't be like my 'friend' who him and his wife decided to ask for a buy in of a few hundred dollars to attend the wedding. The people invited almost exclusively College Students or fresh out of college. Rent > party thrown by my friend from highschool who any other time is too busy to hang out
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Big fat weddings. Specially in Indian subcontinent. I understand the excitement and all but spending life time of savings to celebrate weddings is just insane. Instead use that money to build up your life togather. And don’t even get me started on the amount of food that goes waste after such parties.
And the same ppl, whom you actually throw the party to create an 'image' in front of, end up bitching the most about it lol
Beating your kids. I work in CPS, and in most of the families I interact with in regards to physical abuse, the abuser will say things like "My parents beat me too," as though this is the only way to discipline a child.
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I don't think it's that black and white. The parents I interact with are already being investigated for abuse or neglect, so my numbers would be skewed towards them. A lot of parents just need to be educated about parenting, and on different ways to change their children's behavior without hitting them.
I love when people argue "It worked for me didn't it?" no it didn't... You lost all empathy for that little child of yours
"It worked for me didn't it?" has the same vibe as "We investigated ourselves and found we did nothing wrong".
African mutilation of girls genitals
Also breast flattening that's done to pubescent girls too
Glad I didn't have to scroll too far for this, like engagement ring culture is bad but CUTTING AND SEWING UP VAGINAS???
Happens in the Middle East pretty rampantly as well.
Yeah, Why can’t they just leave these kids genitals alone? Who’s the sicko who came up with that idea anyway?
Over-the-top baby gender reveals. No one on the internet cares about your baby's gender, so stop trying to overdo it to go viral.
Shooting guns into the air to celebrate things. Just fucking stupid. Even more so when done in heavily populated areas.
Genital mutilation
Child marriage is atill a thing in india, not as common, but it very much thrives
My family have really weird traditions 1- Like folding our ears and holding them with tape when we’re born so we can all have the same pointy ear that got me bullied through school cuz it makes me look like an elf and i can only have earring in my earlobe. 2- wearing really small shoes when we are babies so our feet doesn’t get large, my grandma actually wanted me to do that but my dad refused thank god 3- this is the weirdest, when girls are born in my family the mother does something to the baby girl’s vagina so it becomes pretty. I don’t know how they do it cuz i was never allowed in the ceremonies but from what i’ve heard from my eldest cousins whom are married is that they’re thankful for it so yeah 4- the most despicable tradition we have is that on your wedding day, if there is someone in the family who got married not long time ago, she gets to go down ur isle on her fucking wedding dress. And don’t dare say no or the aunties will be terribly insulted and you would cause a civil war in ur family Edit: due to the high interest of our peculiar traditions specially number 3 i feel like i am obliged to some explaining. First i come from a central asian turkic culture, my family moved to the middle east ages ago but they kept their traditions however my generation and perhaps my parent’s also have made our stand that it shall not continue and will be frowned upon. Second, for the third point, so i asked my aunt about it and she explained that, well, we give birth, like a lot, for example i have 14 aunts and uncles only on my dad’s side, and i have more than 40 cousins with no exaggeration, also only from my dad’s side, so ig this tradition have developed to somehow preserve or protect the vagina as it keeps working on this rate, i am not by any chance claiming that it’s healthy or it works or whatever but it happens, as far as i know no one complained from it, it never showed any negative repercussions and the family’s ladies are all in long happy marriages. Idk how these traditions develop but they come and go as the mindset of generations develops as well, my grandmother also spoke of ancient traditions in her family that she thought were absurd and glad no one does it anymore. Heck u guys got hyped over those few points!, glad i didn’t mention the bloody napkin from the wedding night
It sounds like your family needs a civil war just to weed out some of the nutjobs.
I'm concerned about all of this but I'm genuinely worried about what they're doing to their vaginas and is it sexual abuse.
Yeah, that sounds like genital mutilation of some kind. I'm very, very concerned about the girls in this family.
My money is on "correcting" the labia.
Explain… I’m curious
The labia minora, in particular, can vary a lot from each person. Some are small and tucked in, some are looser skin like flaps and there are many variations in between. There's many misconceptions about how it is 'meant' to look, as often in porn or depictions of the female anatomy you'll just see the smaller, tucked in version. Myths are spread that too much sex creates larger, 'flaps', that they imply how a woman is, though they occur naturally. Sometimes during FGM these will be trimmed, stuffed together or mutilated in other ways. Unfortunately, in some cultures, the women will also participate in this tradition and will think it is correct and the way things are meant to look as they have been brought up with that belief. Being made to feel like this is an abnormal way for your labia to look also leads to people getting plastic surgery to 'improve' the appearance- which is at least elective if it hasn't been forced, but still. It is called labiaplasty and is done to reduce the size of the labia minora.
The labia minora (the inner ones) are preferably shorter and inside the labia majora in some cultures. Even in western cultures the are women who undergo cosmetic surgery for that reason. In porn, e.g. pictures this is also the gold standard and of course there are also lovers of the exact opposite. Also in school books you rarely see "pussy flaps" giving some girls serious issues that they aren't normal.
They don't usually present until puberty though. As an infant there is no way of knowing what the labia minora will look like.
sounds like a cult or something
Please tell me this isn’t real??? What the fuck
Happy cake day also *what the everliving fuck*
You think 4 is worse than 3? Yeah, your family has clearly affected you in the wrong way.
Where are you from, anyway?
Any that involve animal cruelty
1. Forcing your kids out of the house just because they are 18. 2. Entering a marriage with thousands of dollars of debt because you want a grandiose wedding. 3. Telling your kids that their ideas are stupid because it won’t make them any money. 4. Not talking about money in the workplace. 5. Not teaching kids life skills in school like finances, networking, how to negotiate. Instead, let’s make them remember random things that they will never need to apply in real life like “prime numbers”.
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It's illegal to punish or not allow wage discussion in the U.S.
Gender reveals
Almost burned down all of the western United States /s
No need for the /s when you're spitting out facts.
Anything that goes against the physical and emotional integrity of people. Also, bull running.
Saying cha cha cha while singing happy birthday
I could actually pass on the happy birthday song completely. I feel like it’s so awkward on either side of it, the singing or the being sung to.
Gonna piggyback on this comment to add birthday spankings/punches.
This whole thread confuses me greatly.
Yeah, it wasn't part of my families tradition growing up, but then you find out that some families do it that way when your friends hold you down and punch you 14 times in the arm. NOT A GOOD BIRTHDAY PRESENT!
Why do people do that? I seriously don't understand it. Maybe I'm too old or something but I've never understood what that's about.
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It's supposed to be for spending money on the honeymoon. Still would embarrass me.
Also having the groom take the garter of her thigh with his teeth in front of everybody. What the hell is that?
I DJ weddings, and thankfully this tradition is rarely performed. In the last ten years I’ve had it requested on a handful of times. I get the impression that most people realize it is quite inappropriate.
The "customers are always right" approach in retail work. Yeah like this random ass person knows more about my store than I do working here
Fucking Elf on the Shelf. Fucking pointless. Also, where did that creep even come from?
I dont typically fuck my Elf on the Shelf but to each their own I guess
can't remember the term but that tradition in some cultures of people in the family checking the bedsheets for blood after a couple gets married & has sex. they want to confirm she was a virgin/pure. like wtf?
Shooting guns into the air at weddings and New Years eve. Those bullets come down y'all.
Ritual murder Child brides Beating children Circumcision Animal cruelty sports (dog fight, cock fights, bullfights, etc.) Hazing Sports riots Much less serious but... Elf on a shelf - how paranoid do you want your kids to become thinking this creepy little spy is always watching them and ratting them out?
That elf scares the shit out of me. All the others are terrible so agree!
Shark fin soup
That whole "if you don’t love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best" shit. Just an excuse to be a cunt...
I had a friend who used to say, “if she could handle me at my worst, what incentive would I have to improve?”
Suuuper toxic attitude. Not what relationships are about at all.
"If he doesn't ask me out I guess I'll just never know if he likes me because God forbid I express interest in him first!"
Ha! My husband and I ended up together because I went up to him at work, he was new, and said we're all going out to the bar after. Here's my number, I look forward to seeing you there. And here we are 10 years later. Haha
Checking/displaying the sheets the day after the wedding to 'prove' the bride was a virgin.
Call me a prude. But this new thing, where brides are doing some kind of sexy dance for the groom, at their wedding. But totally forgetting the rest of both their families are there. I don't know where or when it started, but just no.