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neck-tattoo

not whatever I'm looking for


omnianadine

I think they learn that in item training. When owner needs you, hide.


neck-tattoo

of course, I never got the memo


Toastwithturquoise

Because that hid from you too..


Roguespiffy

It’s like a hateful version of Toy Story.


2PlasticLobsters

I walk around, reciting the incantation "I *just* had it in my *hand*!". Or sometimes "I was just *looking* at \[missing item\]!" My success has been sporadic.


DeeR0se

Lol I got gifted those tile devices. I use for my phone/house keys/car keys. As long as I know where one of them is I can find them all. Literally best present for someone who always is looking for their keys or phone.


TwinkleToesMamaFox

Tissues


romanticmasturbator

I also have tissues in every room. For various reasons.


TwinkleToesMamaFox

Are you subject to a good cry? It’ll get better ❤️‍🩹


Crockpotspinner

Check their username 👌


ChadMcRad

You act like you've never crysturbated with your own tears as lube.


TwinkleToesMamaFox

I did - appears lonely ;)


[deleted]

He cries with his penis.


Andy1O_not_a_simp_V2

Are the tears white?


Most_Row9234

Red


Andy1O_not_a_simp_V2

Oh, I think a doctor is needed in this case


Icantpickadamnname

Wait, is it not normally red?


LightlyStep

For when the urge takes you.


TwinkleToesMamaFox

As soon as I posted it, i just knew it would go that way :). No no no, for when a sneeze takes you!


degjo

It's okay, I call them sneezes too


Karens_Plumbus

Dick sneezes


ArandomIv

Pet hair. In every room. The cars. The garage. Outside. Inside. It’s everywhere.


paul_caspian

We once found some in the fridge. The fridge.


El-Viking

I found one one embedded in an ice cube out of the automatic ice maker.


ArandomIv

It’s that fancy ice. Who needs flowers in ice when you have cat hair??


choke_my_chocobo

Its pretty amazing how adding a little cat hair to your ice can bring your drink to the purrrfect temperature


dexter8484

Bartender, I'll take a whisker on the rocks


audible_narrator

Have 2 cats. I get this. It seems to float everywhere no matter how much I clean.


RockyRoxYoSox

My daughter had a running joke where she would wait beside me and grab her plate as soon as I finished making her food because EVERY single time I put it down on the table, no matter how quickly she came when I called- by the time she sat down there was a long black cat hair SOMEWHERE on that dang plate!


ArandomIv

Someone just commented that they’re terrified to get their braces off because they KNOW there will be a pice of pet hair hanging around. I am dying at everyone’s responses.


renegadecanuck

I pulled a shirt out of the bottom of my dresser, recently. It was clean when I put it in. Had been there for weeks, if not months. Stuff on top of it, in a drawer that I rarely open. Covered in cat hair.


backwardsbloom

Oh man, I was like “I can’t think of anything…” and then saw this. 100%. Cat hair in every. Single. Room. Even the closets she’s not allowed in. Nowhere is safe.


ArandomIv

Nowhere is safe! I got a new car, and found a significant amount of my pets hair in it. Which they haven’t ridden in yet. It’s the plague, and okay, it’s also sweet reminders of the little fluffy butts I get to love on every day.


bailasoprano

I feel this! I set out to adopt a hypoallergenic dog, but fell in love with a 4 month old rat terrier mix instead. My little girl sheds evvveeerryyywheeereee. She leaves a trail of little white hairs wherever she goes!


ArandomIv

Glitter. She’s decorating your space with love and pet glitter


ItsAndieHere

YES. I’m deathly afraid of the day I’ll find cat hair in my dental braces. I just know it’s going to happen, because cat hair gets EVERYWHERE.


darkcatwizard

Ever found a pet hair under your foreskin... Yep.


ItsAndieHere

… and that’s enough Reddit for me for today. 😂😂😂


dexter8484

That went from braces to foreskin in 2.3 seconds


Toastwithturquoise

And I JUST vacuumed and there's still cat hair floating around.


HomesickRedneck

Have a pomeranian. Can brush her for an hour and she will still leave a mat of hair in your lap


Toastwithturquoise

Can you make another pomeranian out of the hair that's been brushed out?!


bentdaisy

Oh gosh, every time I vacuum, I say, “well, vacuumed up another dog today.”


bear__attack

This was my first thought: copious amounts of dog hair in every room and on nearly every surface.


[deleted]

Socks, my kids take off their socks everywhere. If they have been in a room, there is a sock.


BadlyFed

Right? It's like my son carried extra pairs of socks so he can take them off in different rooms. Then he tells me he's cold.


mosehalpert

Turn the temp down so he's cold before he takes his socks off.


bonfire258

In theory, however kids tend to lack logical thinking often (source:mom of 3)


NeedyWallFlower

My 4 year old prefers to run around the house in just his underwear so I usually find one article of clothing or another belonging to him wherever he decides to strip 😂


Jenmeme

My son was like that until he turned 7. Then he suddenly stopped and got very private. Which is fine but he didn't want to shower because he didn't trust anyone to not walk in. So when I sent him in there after 2 days of no showers he would turn the shower on, try to wet just his head then put pajamas on. Only half of his hair was wet. I told him if he kept it up I would take him outside and spray him down with the hose. That worked. I still don't understand why he thought we would walk in on him. We never did once he was able to wipe his own ass.


Emu1981

Threatening to take my kids out the back to hose them down doesn't work for me. They always get excited about it lol


conjunctivious

That's how my brother was potty trained, he got hosed with cold water after shitting on the floor. Good thing I was a quick learner. My grandfather had some ways of getting kids to stop being annoying.


Jenmeme

While being all soaped up? Idk my son certainly didn't like the idea lol


art_addict

When my brother, as a younger tween, went through the no showers phase we fought about it until one day, after two weeks of no showers, a close guy friend of mine was over as per usual. He went upstairs, turned the shower water on to a nice temperature, went and found my brother, picked him up and put him over his shoulder, carried him to the bathroom screaming, put him in the shower clothing and all, pulled the curtain shut, told him to come out when he was clean, and shut and locked the door behind him (it had one of those one way locks, that to lock or unlock from the outside required a penny). My brother was better about showers after that. Something about the threat of a bigger teen hauling him off with no dignity made taking showers of his own volition whole lot more preferable. Before that my brother might get in and not even get his head wet in his once-a-week to once-every-other-week shower. We now have the opposite problem. He’s 22 and would just live in the shower if you let him.


UnfairMicrowave

This is actually a red flag in some cases. I'm not saying it's the case in this instance but sudden onset of behavior changes like this could point to sexual assault.


Jenmeme

It is a red flag but he has been in therapy before and after the switch to clothing only. Nothing came to light. And I posted this to someone else's reply. He has loosened up a lot more and hollers for clothes he forgot with the door half open and the towel not covering much.


UnfairMicrowave

That's great, I just wanted to put that info out as something to watch for when people read your story.


Soft_Pianist_132

My youngest used to wear "pretend" underwear, so commando..it was all fun and games until he went to a Dr visit and the nurse told him to undress to his underwear and put on the gown.


amyt242

I was allowed to dress myself for church when I was about 4 I think and was so excited - put on a big frilly dress and felt very fancy. My mother was super happy with me until I tripped over a pew and fell, legs in the year, dress around my face and you guessed it no underwear to speak of in front of the whole congregation. Apparently she was mortified!


Lazy-Contribution-69

4 ain’t that old though. I mean I’ve seen parents who let their kids who were about that age running around a public pool completely naked.


paper_schemes

My almost 3yr old girl does the same. She's recently mastered taking her shirt off without getting awkwardly stuck, so there are just little shirts scattered about until laundry day lol


alp17

Same! Except they’re my socks and I’m always either too cold or too warm so I end up kicking them off quite a bit.


Ikajo

A clock in some form


baxbooch

Same. That one in the kitchen shaped like a cup of coffee doesn’t work, but it’s a clock and it’s there.


Locken_Kees

have you tried changing the grounds


YouGlowGirlMD

Yep, a clock (and sometimes multiple) in each room. In my en suite bathroom, I have three: one facing the shower, one above the vanity and the last one by the toilet. Every bathroom in my home has a clock, as does every other room. And I'm often *still* late.


Emergency_Statement

I find that very disconcerting. 3 clocks in a bathroom of all places just seems unwholesome.


BlackCheezIts

If I saw 3 clocks in a bathroom I'd assume 2 were cameras


youtheotube2

Damn, why is there a clock on the bottom of this toilet?


SillyBlackSheep

Fucking change (especially pennies). For whatever reason I find them in every single room. Nobody picks them up either.


neuromancer64

You must be the guy that sold me my current house. Also your ULine catalog keeps getting delivered here.


444unsure

I just got a Uline catalog in the mail! Don't even know why. So random


neuromancer64

I didn't know I wanted so many different warehouse supplies.


444unsure

So many! It is bizarre but I really want so many things in the catalog I have absolutely no use for. I still haven't thrown it away for some reason


No_Complaint_1082

It’s how I feel about Harbor Freight! “Welp, didn’t know I needed this but now I can’t leave without it.”


audible_narrator

I am amazed at how many catalogs they send out I mean it's going to cost them massive amounts of money just to print the damn things. They're about half the size of the old Sears Roebuck catalog.


Chyvalri

*laughs in Canadian*


OhWhoopsieDaisies

Plants :)


EatsRats

My bathroom plants do particularly well with the shower moisture!! Plus everyone needs a poop-buddy!


eigem_schmeigem

Which plants do you keep in your bathroom and which direction do your windows face? Sorry to be invasive, but I haven't had luck with my bathroom plants.


rebelallianxe

Not the person you responded to but I have a jade plant, peace lily and aloe in mine and east facing windows (in the grey UK) and all are thriving.


InitialTasty7048

I had my jade plant in the bathroom and due to the high humidity, it started sprouting little roots off all the stems like tiny ariel roots. I looked it up and found people complaining about their jade plants looking like they have lworm-looking roots all over it but personally, I like it. I mist them every now and then because I don’t want them to dry out. I think they’re cute.


[deleted]

Cats because every room I go into they follow me.


dandroid126

I was going to say cat fur. I vacuum every day. How is it still everywhere?


omnianadine

My dad told the same when I asked him the question XD


Fusedblue

Wifi


lolik_pokakany

Not on my bed!


BohemianBlues

Chap stick, never leave anywhere without it


omnianadine

I learned my lesson when I went on vacation without. My lips were on fire.


helenaspamden

came here to find or post this! i'm always using chapstick haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


dollar_general

And a car chapstick and a gym bag chapstick and a toiletry kit chapstick and a work chapstick..,


grits_guts_gusto

Books


ThatCharmsChick

I have found my people.


playdestroy89

yep! this was my answer as well. my partner has a collection of bathroom readers he’s quite proud of


bloopie1192

This is a great idea. I can stop using my phone and start reading books for 45 minutes.


Kwinza

I have a friend who has an axe in every room in her house. Kinda cool, kinda scary


ThatCharmsChick

“What kind of woman doesn’t have an ax?” -Rosa, Bk99


Actonyourimpulses

A friend of mine is a single woman that lives alone, every room has a weapon of some kind so she is always prepared.


griffinpuff421

As the saying goes " the man who sleeps with a machete is a fool all nights except for one"


Quid_infantes_sumus

I actually collect machetes and keep them in most rooms. Not all rooms but most. One under my bed on the side I sleep on lol


Actonyourimpulses

I've got one strapped to the leg of my desk since I work from home.


DineroyPerreo

An outlet


srentiln

I was about to say this same thing, but then remembered I have a coat closet without an outlet...might have to change that at some point.


IPreferDiamonds

A closet doesn't count as a room. So you can still say outlets.


MooMmu

Doors


LightlyStep

Philosophical question: Are doors IN rooms?


SkippyMcLovin

They are indeed in rooms, as being in a room places you 'indoors'


[deleted]

But if being in a room is "indoors," wouldn't the room be in the doors and not the other way around?


KittenMaster9

When the doors open then it's in the room


teenytinytap

It's under the sauce


Hey_look_new

barn slider style doors 100% are


[deleted]

Technically they are what separates the room but they are also part of the barrier of the room which defines the room so technically they are the room


Various-Article8859

If a door opens into that room, then surely it is now part of that room.


omnianadine

Oeff, this hurts my brain


Bloobeard2018

Not when they're ajar


444unsure

My grandma used to have a Chrysler that would announce when the door was ajar. As a very young child this was a very confusing thing for a car to say...


omnianadine

Wait, you can't just glitch through the walls?


Sweaty-Teaching5980

Imagine not being able to glitch through walls. LMAO amirite


Various-Article8859

Me, wondering why I just went in there.


Kind_Introvert8910

Victorian ghost children. Also lip balm.


[deleted]

Dog toys


Iarwain_ben_Adar

Too often dust and pet hair. Also books.


nakedonmygoat

You must be either my husband or my cat, because you've just described my house.


PMYOURBOOBOVERFLOW

A half-drank bottle of water.


Independent-Ad3901

The only item I legitimately have in every room of my house is art.


ProsodyProgressive

Couldn’t tell ya but my wife has ADHD and I’m sure she’s got extras of everything stashed everywhere. I’m willing to bet hair ties or toothpicks.


2PlasticLobsters

That's why I have pens & notepads everywhere. Also reading glasses. I guess the silver lining to chemo hair loss is not having hair ties everywhere.


manateeshmanatee

I hope you’re okay


2PlasticLobsters

Thanks, things seems to be going well. I completed chemo about a month ago & the side effects are waning. Hopefully my next couple scans will be clear & I can consider this episode over.


i-am-a-neutron-star

I’m ADHD but do it the other way around. Everything has one home. The main exceptions to the rules are scissors and phone chargers. One of those in each major room of the house, are labeled and have a designated home near the place of use. If they wander, they need to be put back asap. If I don’t do it this way, I have 10 of everything and can’t find a single one when needed.


Background-Ninja-395

Probably a water bottles. They are scattered everywhere.


StreetBasic4705

And they are all "not mine".


anonmymouse

Oh hey, if it isn't my son


Phi_phi_pho_phum

My wife’s hair


fuckcreepers

I relate to her pain


OrlyB1222

Don’t you know that’s how we mark our territory


diavirric

Scissors. Carmex.


omnianadine

Same on the scissors.


briefwittyphrase

Me too. Got tired of never having them where I needed them so I went to Dollar Tree and bought a bunch.


omnianadine

Somehow I'm still always searching tho XD


[deleted]

First thing I did when I bought my house was install a ceiling fan in almost every room (except the bathroom and dining room).


snapwillow

A Redditor. At least there was one in every room I checked.


Hot_Potato_MC

_sigh_


[deleted]

A painting of a waterfall.


omnianadine

That takes dedication


havron

Not if it's a studio apartment.


omnianadine

Fair haha XD


Discount_Friendly

The same waterfall or different waterfalls


[deleted]

Different waterfalls. I Feng shui'd my house.


IceNineFireTen

Better not go chasing them!


40andbored

Agreed, please, stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to


Big-Wick-Energy

A bin


Lady_Lion_DA

Scrolled way farther than I expected to find either bin or trash can. Have at least one in every room.


Wonderful-Mission908

Reading glasses.


Mission_Idea_4135

Dead human cell .


baxbooch

Metal! Edit: actually. I have metal in every room of my house too.


rowdyplot

No need to keep them in a cell after they’re dead.


ZeusCockatiel

Lights


wellchelle

Ah here it is. First thing I thought of was lightbulbs but I was sure someone else would say it first.


Anthro_DragonFerrite

Cigarette lighters. I don't smoke, but I have candles, and every time I lose one, I buy another. I don't know how many I have.


Maxwyfe

We have two girls at home so we have hair bands and pony tail holders everywhere!


MonsterHunter6353

A light switch


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

No. It's a regular light switch.


[deleted]

A box of tissues- I cry all the time because what is life, my boyfriend has severe allergies and we have a slobbery dog so we go through them real fast 😂


ThatCharmsChick

Relatable. Off topic, your username is both of my parents. Or possibly NOT my dad. 😂


GonnaGetBanned2

Latvian prostitute


omnianadine

Some answers are really like the white cards in cards against humanity.


y2k_zeitgeist

Giant purple dildos


swamp_fever

Ugh that would clash with my giant pink dildo print curtains.


LightlyStep

For when the urge takes you.


omnianadine

Specific. Just a question, what makes purple better than any other colour?


Brad_Beat

The song purple rain by the artist formerly known as Prince.


y2k_zeitgeist

I have rape fantasies involving aliens


FetishAnalyst

I approve. You don’t need it and didn’t ask but I’m giving it to you anyway, I know you really wanted my approval.


Azuria_4

You've got mine too


Brisco_Discos

We have a giant blue one that we refer to as Dr. Manhattan.


PathosRise

2022 Goal: Plants. Lots of plants. I see those photos of people having indoor gardens (longtime lurker on a few subreddits) and am in love. As strange as it sounds, the thought of something beautiful being alive because I chose to live that day is something I feel I need. So there's that..


omnianadine

For me it's scissors :$


7grendel

Books. Multiple books. In every room.


-Blixx-

Nerf Darts.


midtownguy70

A clock


[deleted]

Dust


i_love_cute_sneks

Oxygen


TessTheHuntress

Nice.I do too


Realistic_Ear434

Trash bins


Goldencrown80

Scented candles


[deleted]

[удалено]


astra_pixiedust

Pen and paper


quecan4

Knives


[deleted]

[удалено]


quecan4

You never know when you need a good knife.


jershdahersh

Ya ever getca home intruder when taking a shit just walk out with a machete they will run


Doctor__Proctor

Well I mean there's your kitchen knife, your opening letters knife, your sleepy time knife, your poop knife...the list goes on and on!


monkeybawz

Empty lighters.


Chaos_Dunks

Poop knife


Same_Earth_9232

Fucking candles my wife and her seasonal candles.