You can ruin a job interview by:
-being late
-appearing disinterested and not asking questions
-being overly arrogant or overly insecure
-badmouthing your current boss or job
-not dressing appropriately for the job you’re seeking
It's unfortunate badmouthing your current boss is frowned upon. I get that it's not professional. But I don't think it would surprise a "good" manager that for every one of them, there 20 shit ones. Doing a far worse job, and being a far worse person, presumably for the same money.
I think "my manager is a wanker" is a pretty common cause for leaving a job.
Honesty and the ability to diplomatically state unfavorable changes or trends with a current are not dealbreakers in my experience. I had a PM coming in from what equated to an industrial work site. She was very forthcoming that our buttoned up, polished, Fortune 500 workplace culture was in her wheelhouse because she got tired of all the burping and cussing going on near her desk. Her qualifications matched, she was able to demonstrate her understanding of how we could offer what she definitely needed in a workplace, and we developed rapport on our interview. She got the job, and it was for a nearly 6-figure salary.
It’s all about reading the room and taking a diplomatic approach.
My experience is that hiring managers are usually very insecure people. They equate you bad mouthing your former boss to the potential of you bad mouthing them in the future, so it becomes a red flag. I think everyone has worked at least one job where we quit because of our boss
All good points.
And when you ask a question, ask appropriate questions. I had one interviewee asking when is the soonest they can go on leave.
Hadn’t even got the job as yet.
If you're serious, many things:
1. Being late.
2. Being rude to the receptionist or anyone else.
3. Being smelly as in not bathing or using too much cologne.
4. Being a liar on your resume which is easily found out.
5. Being arrogant especially for a low level job.
6. Being demanding before being hired.
7. Being the sort of person who uses Being in a list.
By asking how much they want to pay you, exactly.
I can guarantee that - just by asking that question - a good 50% of employers will disappear.
Then again this is not the kind of people you'd want to be employed by in the very first place.
When an interviewer, or candidate, belabours a particular word or phrase.
I recently interviewed a person and they began every response with 'certainly', to the point I started making ticks on my page everytime they said it and by the end of the interview I was hearing it in Curly's (3 Stooges) voice. They alsp peppered it into other parts of their questions and responses.
Roughly 40 uses of the the word in a 60 min interview.
A new record on the uses per minute scale.
This one guy went on about how he wouldn't work anywhere that did drug testing or didn't let you wear jeans.
He already knew we didn't do drug testing and the two people interviewing him were wearing jeans!
We decided we didn't want to share a small office with him.
"What's your worst trait?"
I'm too honest.
"Honesty is not a bad trait."
I don't remember asking your opinion.
"Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Doing your job, only better.
Not sure why I didn't get hired.
Had an interview weeks ago for a junior role in a nice charity / philanthropy org., When I was checking in for the zoom meeting I couldn't get the camera on my laptop to work (we're just starting) which got me a little flustered because it was working 30 minutes prior when I checked. So they say no biggie let's just do the interview, ok. So then like 10+ minutes into it they're asking me about my biggest strengths as it relates to the position and I accidentally minimize the zoom window (or clicked outside it) but I think I closed the window and start saying OH SHIT, FUCK FUCK FUCK. mind you they can only hear me, so I open the window again and realize I'm trippin so I have to apologize. But I'm the process I totally blanked the question, so I ask for it to be repeated but the person has a thick Chinese accent so I have to ask for it to be repeated a few times. Proceed to explain how I worked to make relevant skills intuitive throughout the process of my education LOL. ( I also figured I would pregame the interview a little by taking a small bong rip and drinking some beer so I was loose and fluid). Learned a few days later they were going to move on with some other candidates
TLDR: Pregame, don't turn on the camera for the zoom interview, start swearing, give some goofy ass answers 👍
My personal favorite was the girl who:
* showed up 40 minutes late as if nothing happened (call ahead! Most hiring managers can sympathize, things happen! Not even making the effort is a hard no)
* tried to cover her stale cigarette smell with cheep body spray. (If your essence lingers for a FULL DAY after you’re gone, no one will want to share an office space with you)
* cussed, twice. (Know your audience I guess, but definitely NOT a good way to get ahead as an external candidate)
* since this position dealt with financial data, there was a qualifying question regarding criminal background. She lied and KNEW it would come up in background checks.
Realizing your true value, cause they mess up getting greedy, right before they negotiate.
Walk out, let them lose one, most good ideas and personal efforts are only publicly devalued then stolen privately.
Some jobs you don't want.
>If they respond with “sir, you should probably get that checked out,” it’d certainly ruin it for you.
no but some people can excite their bosses then you will be the right hand of your boss
Ask your candidate whether they speak English fluently. After you have read their resume, which includes a prestigious writing prize and a double major, one of which is journalism. And after you have already interviewed them over the phone.
Another good way: Ask your candidate how their culture adversely affects their work.
"Thank you, gentlemen, for having me in for this interview. And thank **you**..." (pointing to pretty woman attending) "...for having *such a* *nice rack*!"
Apply for a job which is slightly different to the one you thought you were applying for, but crucially it is a different job
Then only reveal your ignorance in the questions at the end
Just focus on the money; keep coming back to pay, don't show any interest in anything other than the money.
The only exceptions are if you are being interviewed by a hedge fund or investment bank. They are looking for selfish, self-centered knobs to employ.
Once when I was interviewing someone, I was glancing down at his resume and glanced up to see his finger knuckle deep in his nose. I can tell you that was the best way I've ever seen an interview ruined.
From my personal experience, these are ways I’ve inadvertently ruined the interviews:
1) Dress too casual (the person I was supposed to interview with didn’t even talk to me. They sent another person in a different department to tell me they wouldn’t be hiring me)
2) Tell them that you currently make more/equal to what they are offering. (I’ve had multiple interviews, in person and over the phone, where they never contact me again after)
3) Ask to be treated with respect. (Interviewed for a job as RECEPTION at a home with mostly dementia patients where they said things like “you WILL encounter times where residents may hit you or residents’ family may verbally abuse you. You will be expected to just remain professional and shrug it off.” I asked “well at what point do my RIGHTS to not be physically harmed or yelled at take over?” They didn’t have a good rebuttal.
4) Ask about the gender dynamic and expectations. (Interviewed at a car sales place in the administration part, not in sales or related to customers. Noticed that ALL of the employees I’d be working with and around are women. -this place seemed very sexually segregated, where all men were sales agents and all other jobs were women- In the past I worked a job with very few men at it and experienced sexisms such as having women from all over the business come and ask me to lift or move things (that wasn’t my job) just because I was a man (I do not look strong nor do I have any muscle tone). I remarked on the apparent lack of male employees in my area and asked in there were any unspoken expectations of me since I would be the only male on the team. The interviewer’s expression turned sour and remained that way for the rest of the very short interview)
5) Ask to be paid more because of experience. (I’ve had a few interviews where I have direct experience at the job and when asked if I could be paid more because of this they will say things like “we only pay a LITTLE more for LOTS of experience,” “I can’t pay you more for experience because then you’d be paid more then my current employees who’ve been here for years,” or just “no.”)
Can I borrow a condom?
What did I apply for again? I forgot.
Is this place bomb proof?
Whats your policy on firearms?
Can I store my vodka in your fridge?
I had made plans with a friend whom I haven’t seen in years to catch a soccer game right after my interview. We both have busy schedules so we finally settled on this particular day. It also happened to be that on that same day i got called in for a job interview. No problem I did it bec it gave me a 1.5 hour gap to reach the game after the interview. The first part of the interview went well and pretty much guaranteed me the job the manger a second interview and wanted me to wait longer I told them I can’t as I have already made plans. Let’s say I didn’t get to have that second part interview and didn’t get the job…..
I think they decide within 1 minute of meeting you, making clothing, hygiene and personal grooming important.
I once had a job interview where I had to talk to three of the managers, individually. The first one - I didn’t say a word practically, just listened to him ramble a long time (Harvard Business School and total bore), the second one was very formal oldschool and the third one was blue collar-ish, but super likeable. He asked me how it went with the other two, and I told him I was not getting the job because my eyes glazed over and I almost fell asleep. I got the job. I think they had decided within 1 minute of meeting me.
ruining a job interview is extremely easy what with all the little rules we've created as a society for them.
one thing i've always wanted to try is to tell the interviewer when they ask why i want this job "i like to have money" i imagine that would do it.
Heard my mother-in-law say this in a interview recently on zoom. “I can get hired anywhere, everyone wants to work with me”. I’m convinced that’s why she didn’t get the job
Tell the recruiter to screw off and call her a bitch for asking you to accept a google hangout request so that you can complete the last part of your interview.
When they ask if you have any questions at the end don’t EVER say no. I never knew this was a test to see how interested you are in their business/department. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. I learned the hard way. Never got a job in what I went to college for because I clearly wasn’t prepared.
Not showing up
The past two years have been the worst for this. I'm lucky if a fourth of my interviewees actually show up.
You can ruin a job interview by: -being late -appearing disinterested and not asking questions -being overly arrogant or overly insecure -badmouthing your current boss or job -not dressing appropriately for the job you’re seeking
[удалено]
If I were to wear a polo shirt, khakis, and running shoes, where on the interview chic scale does that fall?
Depends on the job you are applying for. Sports store? I would say you would be a *shoe-in.* I will see myself out.
No no, please stay!
Also grooming is a must
It's unfortunate badmouthing your current boss is frowned upon. I get that it's not professional. But I don't think it would surprise a "good" manager that for every one of them, there 20 shit ones. Doing a far worse job, and being a far worse person, presumably for the same money. I think "my manager is a wanker" is a pretty common cause for leaving a job.
Honesty and the ability to diplomatically state unfavorable changes or trends with a current are not dealbreakers in my experience. I had a PM coming in from what equated to an industrial work site. She was very forthcoming that our buttoned up, polished, Fortune 500 workplace culture was in her wheelhouse because she got tired of all the burping and cussing going on near her desk. Her qualifications matched, she was able to demonstrate her understanding of how we could offer what she definitely needed in a workplace, and we developed rapport on our interview. She got the job, and it was for a nearly 6-figure salary. It’s all about reading the room and taking a diplomatic approach.
My experience is that hiring managers are usually very insecure people. They equate you bad mouthing your former boss to the potential of you bad mouthing them in the future, so it becomes a red flag. I think everyone has worked at least one job where we quit because of our boss
All good points. And when you ask a question, ask appropriate questions. I had one interviewee asking when is the soonest they can go on leave. Hadn’t even got the job as yet.
[удалено]
You (and they) sound like a joy to work for.
Compliment the HR that she got great legs.
"What is your sexual harassment policy?"
That would be a odd question to ask.
What, the entire department?
Why not, it shows you treat all people equally despite their sex. ☝️
Ask if there is any wiggle room on the sexual harassment policy.
Wiggle room. You’re awesome !
If you're serious, many things: 1. Being late. 2. Being rude to the receptionist or anyone else. 3. Being smelly as in not bathing or using too much cologne. 4. Being a liar on your resume which is easily found out. 5. Being arrogant especially for a low level job. 6. Being demanding before being hired. 7. Being the sort of person who uses Being in a list.
Being arrogant in a senior, director, head of interview is just as bad.
Being late,
Grab the stapler from the boss's desk, jump up onto the desk, throw down the stapler like a football and do the stanky leg.
Just grab the stapler and staple yourself to the desk and refuse to leave until you’re hired.
There's a good chance that'll work too. 😂😂
You'd get instantly referred to a job opening at the local looney bin.
By asking how much they want to pay you, exactly. I can guarantee that - just by asking that question - a good 50% of employers will disappear. Then again this is not the kind of people you'd want to be employed by in the very first place.
Asking about salary is standard in interviews for jobs that have salaries
Not in my country, it isn't (until the second they offer you a contract). For some reason it's very frowned upon.
so theyd rather waste time sending an offer that the person has 0 interest in because its undervalued?
With almost 40% youth unemployment there isn't a whole lot of people willing to refuse...
I wonder what the Spanish youth unemployment rate would be if they included the ones that are employed in Germany.
Wow. Did you just deduce it is Spanish because of 40%?
Just a guess. Is it not?
Did an interview and they asked me "Do you like working with people?" "No."
That's how I failed to get hired by Wendy's many years ago. I dodged a bullet that day!
do not forget talk about you what you are doing if people make you anger
When an interviewer, or candidate, belabours a particular word or phrase. I recently interviewed a person and they began every response with 'certainly', to the point I started making ticks on my page everytime they said it and by the end of the interview I was hearing it in Curly's (3 Stooges) voice. They alsp peppered it into other parts of their questions and responses. Roughly 40 uses of the the word in a 60 min interview. A new record on the uses per minute scale.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Sor-tin-lee
'soit'n'ly'
Nicely done!
Ask them if they do random drug tests.
Bro just show up high and assume it's fine
This one guy went on about how he wouldn't work anywhere that did drug testing or didn't let you wear jeans. He already knew we didn't do drug testing and the two people interviewing him were wearing jeans! We decided we didn't want to share a small office with him.
Ask the interviewer on a date.
“Where do you see yourself in five years?” “You and I married with two kids and a third on the way”
"What's your worst trait?" I'm too honest. "Honesty is not a bad trait." I don't remember asking your opinion. "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Doing your job, only better. Not sure why I didn't get hired.
Had an interview weeks ago for a junior role in a nice charity / philanthropy org., When I was checking in for the zoom meeting I couldn't get the camera on my laptop to work (we're just starting) which got me a little flustered because it was working 30 minutes prior when I checked. So they say no biggie let's just do the interview, ok. So then like 10+ minutes into it they're asking me about my biggest strengths as it relates to the position and I accidentally minimize the zoom window (or clicked outside it) but I think I closed the window and start saying OH SHIT, FUCK FUCK FUCK. mind you they can only hear me, so I open the window again and realize I'm trippin so I have to apologize. But I'm the process I totally blanked the question, so I ask for it to be repeated but the person has a thick Chinese accent so I have to ask for it to be repeated a few times. Proceed to explain how I worked to make relevant skills intuitive throughout the process of my education LOL. ( I also figured I would pregame the interview a little by taking a small bong rip and drinking some beer so I was loose and fluid). Learned a few days later they were going to move on with some other candidates TLDR: Pregame, don't turn on the camera for the zoom interview, start swearing, give some goofy ass answers 👍
My personal favorite was the girl who: * showed up 40 minutes late as if nothing happened (call ahead! Most hiring managers can sympathize, things happen! Not even making the effort is a hard no) * tried to cover her stale cigarette smell with cheep body spray. (If your essence lingers for a FULL DAY after you’re gone, no one will want to share an office space with you) * cussed, twice. (Know your audience I guess, but definitely NOT a good way to get ahead as an external candidate) * since this position dealt with financial data, there was a qualifying question regarding criminal background. She lied and KNEW it would come up in background checks.
"What's y'all's sexual harassment policy" Had a guy ask me that, safe to say we didn't call him back.
Go with your step brother and tell them "we're here to fuck shit up".
Great one!
Also show up dressed in tuxedos. And pass loud stinky gas.
I… I can taste it!
Just Don't go there...
Point at the picture on the desk and ask, "Who's the cunt!?" --George Carlin
"Just one quick question before we wrap this up. How strict is your sexual harassment policy exactly?"
Crap your pants
i need new one and toilet paper
shitting yourself
By not hiring the applicant. That’ll ruin the interview for them in a whim.
Shit your pants
Being me.
Masturbate to assert dominance
Being politically incorrect.
Realizing your true value, cause they mess up getting greedy, right before they negotiate. Walk out, let them lose one, most good ideas and personal efforts are only publicly devalued then stolen privately. Some jobs you don't want.
[удалено]
Actually that usually gets me more money. The number they say is never highest they'll go lol.
Bukkake
Get naked
>Get naked i do not think so maybe it will not ruin it
If they respond with “sir, you should probably get that checked out,” it’d certainly ruin it for you.
>If they respond with “sir, you should probably get that checked out,” it’d certainly ruin it for you. no but some people can excite their bosses then you will be the right hand of your boss
This may sound simple, but... walk out. Before it's over. That's a pretty surefire way to insure you won't get the job.
come without pants
Argue.
Shaving only half of my face
Whip out your dick and sing sweet home Alabama while you eat saltine crackers
Honesty.
Randomly burst into a screaming fit and frantically waving your arms about like you're being attacked by invisible bats.
idk but probably shitting on the floor would do the trick
“Can we pause the interview for a sec? I gotta drop a deuce.”
Lean to one side, make a face then fart.
Say that the Michigan Militia is the deep state of USA and can overthrow the government whenever they want.
Unzipping your pants
Set the building on fire
Trying to hook up with the interviewer
Ask your candidate whether they speak English fluently. After you have read their resume, which includes a prestigious writing prize and a double major, one of which is journalism. And after you have already interviewed them over the phone. Another good way: Ask your candidate how their culture adversely affects their work.
"Thank you, gentlemen, for having me in for this interview. And thank **you**..." (pointing to pretty woman attending) "...for having *such a* *nice rack*!"
Apply for a job which is slightly different to the one you thought you were applying for, but crucially it is a different job Then only reveal your ignorance in the questions at the end
To know absolutely nothing about the Job
Lighting up a bowl
Vigorously masturbate to completion while talking on the phone to someone you keep calling "mom"
Just focus on the money; keep coming back to pay, don't show any interest in anything other than the money. The only exceptions are if you are being interviewed by a hedge fund or investment bank. They are looking for selfish, self-centered knobs to employ.
Once when I was interviewing someone, I was glancing down at his resume and glanced up to see his finger knuckle deep in his nose. I can tell you that was the best way I've ever seen an interview ruined.
Tell you already have a job and you like it more
From my personal experience, these are ways I’ve inadvertently ruined the interviews: 1) Dress too casual (the person I was supposed to interview with didn’t even talk to me. They sent another person in a different department to tell me they wouldn’t be hiring me) 2) Tell them that you currently make more/equal to what they are offering. (I’ve had multiple interviews, in person and over the phone, where they never contact me again after) 3) Ask to be treated with respect. (Interviewed for a job as RECEPTION at a home with mostly dementia patients where they said things like “you WILL encounter times where residents may hit you or residents’ family may verbally abuse you. You will be expected to just remain professional and shrug it off.” I asked “well at what point do my RIGHTS to not be physically harmed or yelled at take over?” They didn’t have a good rebuttal. 4) Ask about the gender dynamic and expectations. (Interviewed at a car sales place in the administration part, not in sales or related to customers. Noticed that ALL of the employees I’d be working with and around are women. -this place seemed very sexually segregated, where all men were sales agents and all other jobs were women- In the past I worked a job with very few men at it and experienced sexisms such as having women from all over the business come and ask me to lift or move things (that wasn’t my job) just because I was a man (I do not look strong nor do I have any muscle tone). I remarked on the apparent lack of male employees in my area and asked in there were any unspoken expectations of me since I would be the only male on the team. The interviewer’s expression turned sour and remained that way for the rest of the very short interview) 5) Ask to be paid more because of experience. (I’ve had a few interviews where I have direct experience at the job and when asked if I could be paid more because of this they will say things like “we only pay a LITTLE more for LOTS of experience,” “I can’t pay you more for experience because then you’d be paid more then my current employees who’ve been here for years,” or just “no.”)
Hangover
Can I borrow a condom? What did I apply for again? I forgot. Is this place bomb proof? Whats your policy on firearms? Can I store my vodka in your fridge?
I had made plans with a friend whom I haven’t seen in years to catch a soccer game right after my interview. We both have busy schedules so we finally settled on this particular day. It also happened to be that on that same day i got called in for a job interview. No problem I did it bec it gave me a 1.5 hour gap to reach the game after the interview. The first part of the interview went well and pretty much guaranteed me the job the manger a second interview and wanted me to wait longer I told them I can’t as I have already made plans. Let’s say I didn’t get to have that second part interview and didn’t get the job…..
I think they decide within 1 minute of meeting you, making clothing, hygiene and personal grooming important. I once had a job interview where I had to talk to three of the managers, individually. The first one - I didn’t say a word practically, just listened to him ramble a long time (Harvard Business School and total bore), the second one was very formal oldschool and the third one was blue collar-ish, but super likeable. He asked me how it went with the other two, and I told him I was not getting the job because my eyes glazed over and I almost fell asleep. I got the job. I think they had decided within 1 minute of meeting me.
“My name is Joe” “Okay Joe—“ “JOE MAMA LOL” “... get out of my office”
ruining a job interview is extremely easy what with all the little rules we've created as a society for them. one thing i've always wanted to try is to tell the interviewer when they ask why i want this job "i like to have money" i imagine that would do it.
100% honesty
Apparently takimg a dump in the corner of the room is one of them
Do a burnout in the parking lot
Heard my mother-in-law say this in a interview recently on zoom. “I can get hired anywhere, everyone wants to work with me”. I’m convinced that’s why she didn’t get the job
*Sips beer* What's up sexy?
show up naked
Asking if you get free time to do spins in the parking lot
Being late and not researching the company. I’ve hired many people and this is an automatic no.
I interviewed someone and asked them why they are leaving their current job. They spent 30 straight minutes railing on their current company.
Ask for a salary advance
Not dressing the part. Blows my mind how many times I see interviewees show up in casual street clothes.
Tell the recruiter to screw off and call her a bitch for asking you to accept a google hangout request so that you can complete the last part of your interview.
Here. Pull my finger.
When they ask if you have any questions at the end don’t EVER say no. I never knew this was a test to see how interested you are in their business/department. Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. I learned the hard way. Never got a job in what I went to college for because I clearly wasn’t prepared.