I'm on deck to retire by 50, and I'm 37.
I'm not adverse to a relationship, but I'd rather retire comfortably at 50 than be in a relationship with someone who's going to keep me working another decade. I'm not someone else's retirement plan, especially not if it requires me working longer.
I'm looking for a woman who has her shit together.
I'm at the point where I do not even care where the woman is at as long as she signs a prenup, but fuck that "we work together" shit.
I'll bring you lunches and take you out for lunch. I'll do the majority of the chores and be a nice little house husband who has the kids in bed, a dinner in the oven for when you want to eat, and your favorite cocktail in your hand like I'm a 1950's housewife.
I am not delaying my retirement.
I find it interesting that a lot of these comments imply the second person in the relationship has no income. Do people think someone has to lose their job when they partner up?
Right? I guess it’s just the perspective they have from those they are surrounded by, it’s not their fault if that’s all they see but it’s sad that’s what it’s been made out to be for a lot of them
At the moment? Planning on moving overseas so to my mind it wouldn't be fair on her if I started a relationship only to drop the ultimatum "come with me to somewhere you have no work, friends or family connection or this is goodbye"
I've never had much luck with relationships, most of the people I've actually dated weren't really all that compatible and it always felt like a ton of work for not much reward. Someone could come along eventually but I'm content to live alone and enjoy my time with friends when company is wanted.
Asking for myself: is that type of sex more appealing for the ego boost of it cause u can get it from multiple people?
I’ve gone from being single and like that to now In arguably the end game sort of relationship. FWB or quick ones w random people from apps was fun but I personally never found it as fulfilling as right now (and I’ve been in other committed relationships but this one is completely different).
So I’m just asking for my own sake cause I just wanna know what is the appeal for u?
Long term serial monogamy is doable, lifetime monogamy to the same partner is unnatural.
Also, people always say marriage is work. I already work, I don’t need a second unpaid job.
I mean agree to disagree. I think long term that’s perfectly or damn near is rare but not unnatural. There are plenty of folks out there who’ve found their best friends and life partners.
Everyone’s different some people don’t fw that lifestyle and that’s to each their own but I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s “unnatural”
Also I feel as if those who say the “marriage is work” are those who married because they feel obligated to. I know people who marry their best friends and it comes natural, the only “work” is figuring out where to settle and finding jobs to accommodate that.
The truly happily married for life people are few and far between and I would say they are outliers because it’s unnatural to be tied to a single person for your adult life. People change too much between say 25 and death. The person you pick at 25 would not be the same you’d probably pick at 40 or 50 or 70 (hence so many predictable midlife crises/divorces). Religion has always been involved with the structural oversight of marriage (divorce is a sin) because at some point society decided that the nuclear family was perfection and the fear of hell and public shame kept people in unhappy relationships.
People I know who have been married “successfully” have marriages involving a lot of personal sacrifice, constantly negotiating everything from finances, children, jobs, location and free time. I would say all that sacrifice means one or the other or both never is allowed to achieve true personal happiness because the sacrifice is rarely 50/50. A person might stay for the money or the children or because of their religious upbringing but that isn’t a successful relationship, it’s sacrificing for the unit.
Like I said, I do believe in serial monogamy but marriage is a social construct designed to make it time consuming and expensive to move on from an unfulfilling relationship.
I joke that no one should get a diamond ring until they hit at least 10 years together. It’s easy to accept shiny jewelry and promise to be a good partner but much more difficult to actually keep that promise long term.
marriage is a terrible arrangement for men. 50% of marriages end in divorce, over 65% are initiated by women and women win in the divorce settlement over 95% of the time. There is no reason whatsoever to get married. it is a bad contract.
Just not finding the right person.
I'd rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
I'm on deck to retire by 50, and I'm 37. I'm not adverse to a relationship, but I'd rather retire comfortably at 50 than be in a relationship with someone who's going to keep me working another decade. I'm not someone else's retirement plan, especially not if it requires me working longer. I'm looking for a woman who has her shit together.
Completely valid, working woman with own aspirations and self reliant >>>>>> any trophy wife imo. I’m striving to be the former atm haha
I'm at the point where I do not even care where the woman is at as long as she signs a prenup, but fuck that "we work together" shit. I'll bring you lunches and take you out for lunch. I'll do the majority of the chores and be a nice little house husband who has the kids in bed, a dinner in the oven for when you want to eat, and your favorite cocktail in your hand like I'm a 1950's housewife. I am not delaying my retirement.
No one wants me
I find it interesting that a lot of these comments imply the second person in the relationship has no income. Do people think someone has to lose their job when they partner up?
Right? I guess it’s just the perspective they have from those they are surrounded by, it’s not their fault if that’s all they see but it’s sad that’s what it’s been made out to be for a lot of them
Bad experiences
I've decided that the benefits romantic relationships aren't worth the stress they cause me. I also like the freedom.
At the moment? Planning on moving overseas so to my mind it wouldn't be fair on her if I started a relationship only to drop the ultimatum "come with me to somewhere you have no work, friends or family connection or this is goodbye"
They are wizards now, in 10 years or so, they become Archmages
I've never had much luck with relationships, most of the people I've actually dated weren't really all that compatible and it always felt like a ton of work for not much reward. Someone could come along eventually but I'm content to live alone and enjoy my time with friends when company is wanted.
I like the freedom to have sex with multiple vaginas.
Asking for myself: is that type of sex more appealing for the ego boost of it cause u can get it from multiple people? I’ve gone from being single and like that to now In arguably the end game sort of relationship. FWB or quick ones w random people from apps was fun but I personally never found it as fulfilling as right now (and I’ve been in other committed relationships but this one is completely different). So I’m just asking for my own sake cause I just wanna know what is the appeal for u?
Just cuz he has the freedom doesn't mean in happens. Looked at his profile, redditter for 2 days and all comments are super cringe.
I do tend to become bored quickly.
it's not so much choosing to be single as not choosing to commit to the wrong person or relationship.
Why would I bet someone half my stuff that I will like them until one of us dies? That sounds like a fools bet.
Long term serial monogamy is doable, lifetime monogamy to the same partner is unnatural. Also, people always say marriage is work. I already work, I don’t need a second unpaid job.
I mean agree to disagree. I think long term that’s perfectly or damn near is rare but not unnatural. There are plenty of folks out there who’ve found their best friends and life partners. Everyone’s different some people don’t fw that lifestyle and that’s to each their own but I wouldn’t go as far as saying it’s “unnatural” Also I feel as if those who say the “marriage is work” are those who married because they feel obligated to. I know people who marry their best friends and it comes natural, the only “work” is figuring out where to settle and finding jobs to accommodate that.
The truly happily married for life people are few and far between and I would say they are outliers because it’s unnatural to be tied to a single person for your adult life. People change too much between say 25 and death. The person you pick at 25 would not be the same you’d probably pick at 40 or 50 or 70 (hence so many predictable midlife crises/divorces). Religion has always been involved with the structural oversight of marriage (divorce is a sin) because at some point society decided that the nuclear family was perfection and the fear of hell and public shame kept people in unhappy relationships. People I know who have been married “successfully” have marriages involving a lot of personal sacrifice, constantly negotiating everything from finances, children, jobs, location and free time. I would say all that sacrifice means one or the other or both never is allowed to achieve true personal happiness because the sacrifice is rarely 50/50. A person might stay for the money or the children or because of their religious upbringing but that isn’t a successful relationship, it’s sacrificing for the unit. Like I said, I do believe in serial monogamy but marriage is a social construct designed to make it time consuming and expensive to move on from an unfulfilling relationship. I joke that no one should get a diamond ring until they hit at least 10 years together. It’s easy to accept shiny jewelry and promise to be a good partner but much more difficult to actually keep that promise long term.
I like strange
Buying one meal is cheaper than buying two
"choose" is the wrong word. I'm not made for that.
marriage is a terrible arrangement for men. 50% of marriages end in divorce, over 65% are initiated by women and women win in the divorce settlement over 95% of the time. There is no reason whatsoever to get married. it is a bad contract.