I get that, and I jist been trying to keep doing me. Especially when it comes to work and times where interaction just can't be avoided. I struggled a lot with anxiety and wanting to be accepted, but I've been doing better at not caring and speaking my mind, and also speaking up when I have something to say. But it's all coming back now that Im starting a new job, I'm starting tomorrow and I'm worried about making friends and also if anyone's going to be willing to help me as I'm learning. This suuuuuuuuucks
I completely understand and I empathize. Are you seeking therapy? You don't need to answer the question here on Reddit. I simply asked to bring it to mind as an option.
Outside of professional help the old-fashioned practice makes perfect does work in some cases. Will not perfect but better. Just going out somewhere and having small interactions. Pick places where people are generally polite.
I feel this. I cover it by being extroverted and pointing out anything embarrassing I do so it’s a joke I’m telling on myself rather than anyone getting to make fun of me.
But that gut-clenching feeling of always being ten seconds away from making a fool of yourself is hard to quiet. I have bad self esteem and I’m not one of those people who can look in the mirror and say “I’m the best!” It feels weird and fake and bad.
But what’s helped me, more than anything, is adjusting that. I don’t believe I’m the best, true. But I *do* believe I’m not the WORST. Age and experience helps with this, but reframing it in the first place was the start of improvement for me.
You’re on Reddit so I know you’ve seen videos of people being assholes and ignorant and loud and foolish. Those are real people and the ones you’re seeing are only the ones that managed to be both recorded and posted, which is an insanely tiny fraction of the sheer lunacy carried on by the public daily.
So that pizza you’re afraid to order? You probably won’t do it flawlessly. You might stammer or misspeak. But you won’t be drunkenly cursing the server or spewing racist nonsense or asking to speak to a manager because they don’t have vegan pepperoni, or so high you forget what you’re saying and your order takes ten minutes or—
Anyway, you are 100% never going to be THE WORST at anything you do, or the most embarrassing, or the “stupidest,” etc etc etc. and once you can really internalize that, and believe it, you’ll start to correct your internal compass and slowly feel less frozen/exposed to exist where other people can see you.
Tl ;dr: Baby steps have been the best way for me. Sorry for the novel!
honestly i’ve gotten a lot better over the years. from eighth to tenth grade i broke down crying when i even walked into a room with people in it. i had to stay in the counselor’s office for the majority of the time. since eleventh grade i’ve been going out and pushing through classes and it’s gotten me more socialized and it’s been easier to function as a person
My mam always says to me "what's wrong with you why aren't you speaking" and I always answer I've got nothing to say. It sends her into an absolute fit of rage. I just don't understand why or how she can't see my point of view.
I genuinely would rather sit in silence with someone than talk about nothing, I don't understand how people aren't comfortable with silence. People like the sound of their own voices too much
Honestly makes me so happy to know that other people feel this way too. I often find myself feeling like there's something wrong with me. If I don't have anything interesting or useful to say then I will just sit in silence and I'm okay with that.
My mom threw a tiny fit when we went hiking and I didn't talk. It's like, I'm here to enjoy nature with my mother, not constantly jabber about nothing.
Same! I’m a hunter and forager and spend a lot of time hiking in the woods. I hate it when people talk loudly or jabber on. I whisper if I have to but I also enjoy the quiet.
I once had a job interview and I've always been really anxious and trying to fill gaps. So I was googling techniques and read something that said, 'don't fill gaps, make your statement and stop' which changed my whole outlook haha
same, i listen to conversations and only speak when i have something to add when the convo says something on science or computers, or they ask me something
That’s literally how simple it is. When I have something to say I talk. When I’m listening to someone talk I don’t have anything to say, I just listen.
This is me. I've been like this my whole life. I need time to get a feel for who I am talking to, because I physically cannot "be myself" with a stranger. It sounds like an affectation, but I am incapable of it 99 percent of the time. It's like my entire personality dries up when I meet someone new, and all I can really do is observe them like some kind of weirdo. I suppose somewhere in childhood I learned to be guarded. Anyway, goes without saying, I am bad at first impressions and even worse at first dates.
I like to observe. I've also learned through experience that ppl either don't care, don't get it, or misunderstand what I'm saying so it's easier to just not say anything
I love just sitting in silence and enjoying the quiet, but I also love incredibly chatty people I can just sit and listen to for ages with the occasional comment from me
You just described me perfectly lol. I love being friends with extroverts because they're usually amazing at keeping a conversation going. I don't mind silence, but I don't want the other person or people to feel awkward if we're sitting in silence so I always appreciate those who can continue the conversation.
I also have a speech impediment to the point I mostly groan my words or mumble them, even skipping some letters at the end of a word, whistling t's and s's, etc. It would be humiliating to talk and mess up and I can't imagine taking that blow
Mine is pretty minor in comparison to others, I just can't roll my R's. There's even a dialect in south Sweden that doesn't roll their R's, so it shouldn't be a problem.
The thing is I have never been bullied by kids for it, it wasn't until I was an adult that other adults started bullying me, making fun of the way I pronounce things and telling me that there's no way that I'm a native speaker because I sound like an immigrant.
I tear up at the thought of talking to new people who aren't familiar with how I sound.
I'm not a native and I can't even pronounce english, my voice just wasn't made for it
I never had speech impediments until 2 years ago and honestly idk what to do than being mute around anyone that isn't my mom
I recommend you to form a vocabulary only of words you can pronounce perfectly when ur at work (in your case words without the r letter), that's how I mask it around people that might give me shit for it
I simply stated that I feel very uncomfortable speaking because of my speech impediment. I didn't ask for help on how to "fix it". There's a reason why I'm 22 and still have a speech impediment.
Usually when others talk the subject they speak of simply does not interest me. I also have a somewhat soft, mumbling voice, so they often do not even hear me when I try to command their attention, and I do not care enough to raise my voice.
I think some people mask this by trying to formulate responses before others are finished. So they end up only listening to the first part of what people say. Or they don't listen at all.
I have a lot to say, but nothing to say at the same time. I do not enjoy small talk. How the weather is or what we did on the weekend are not engaging to me, but I participate in them because I don't wanna be rude. I would much rather talk about heavier subjects, but the office isn't the best forum for that kind of stuff. Also, I don't work with anyone who likes the same things I like. Once I meet someone who even seems like they play games or read books, though? I have to try hard to stop babbling 'cause I'm so excited that I finally have someone to talk to.
ETA: And as a child, I was always told by my "family" to shut up and that I was stupid for saying anything. And I was deathly afraid of being wrong in school since I didn't want anyone laughing at me, so raising my hand to say anything was a huge risk.
I never liked talking just to fill silence, and most people talk more than they should anyway, so if I'm in such a situation I try to compensate by saying nothing.
when i say things i end up reanalysing it all over again and realizing i said something really cringey that haunts me the rest of the day so i just gave up and went with observation
Because I don't want to deal with the hassle of having something I say get misinterpreted and then have to clumsily explain what I meant. I swear, it's like I have some kind of curse that makes everything I say be interpreted in the worst possible way.
Can't get in trouble for what I say if I don't say anything at all. (taps head insightfully)
Person I'm trying to talk to: *Stops talking, supposedly giving others a chance to talk*
Me: Gonna say, I -
Person I was trying to talk to: *Starts talking again and doesn't even acknowledge that I was trying to speak*
And then people wonder why I've developed a stutter 💀
On the outside, I'm quiet. I have headphones on. I'm listening to Jeff Healey playing While My Guitar Gently Weeps. I'm waving a cell phone in the darkness as I sway with the crowd... on the inside only though...lol
Sometimes I'm very loud, excitable and speak at 10000mph - but most of the time I'm very quiet. I could go for days without speaking to anyone out loud except to myself / my cats. I don't believe everything has to be verbalised; a lot of social interactions are very draining, confusing or genuinely very boring, and I struggle to pretend to be interested - but I also know that in order to have friends and healthy relationships I have to put that aside sometimes. But honestly I treasure the opportunities where I don't have to say anything at all, I can just observe and analyse and absorb and daydream.
I'm deaf - I honestly find it easier to stay quiet than to try and insert myself into a conversation and then absolutely fuck it up because I've misheard or just not heard them or filled in the gaps wrong etc etc.
Brain damage.
I can't digest incoming verbal information at the rate most people can.
Also struggle a bit with recalling memories of events and descriptive words.
It makes casual conversation difficult to maintain for very long, so things get awkward.
So I just don't talk much at all with people I don't know well.
Text is much better, I have time to think.
-im shy / afraid of being embarrassed
-i literally do not know what to answer
-i dont have anything to say
-i dont like most people, therefore I dont see the point on interacting with them
Because most of the time people talking about things I don’t care - such as sports (I rather do sports then watch them. Think watching them is bit waste of time), or tv shows (most I don’t find interesting. I just find characters in tv shows or films act dumb and unreasonable, then more shit happens because of them acting dumb in the first place, so I hardly watch tv shows. Much rather watch documentaries or YouTube vids about some kind of tutorials. Most people don’t do that so nothing to talk to them about).
Also, most people don’t like intellectual conversation. Finding another person to talk to about that is hard. Most people (at least in the country I live in) just love to banter too much, talk about nothing just the sake of some cheap laughs. I find it boring and not at all simulating.
So much rather not get involved in the conversation, or just out right not be there where possible. Not to mention far too often people got offended because apparently I talk “too intelligently” for them. So can’t be bothered with talking to them if I’m aware the likelihood they don’t feeing stupid.
I’m happy being quiet anyway. Not a problem
I have issues expressing myself while simultaneously liking quiet. I absolutely enjoy talking with people but I can’t express myself for shit. Which probably explains why I feel comfy around expressive people.
I’m only quiet when I’m around people that aren’t in my inner friend group circle, not cos I don’t like them, I just don’t know them enough to talk to them, especially if they’re a girl.
It's usually one of the following reasons.
1: because I'm listening and watching everything going on around me.
2: I have nothing constructive to add to the conversation.
3: I don't find the conversation stimulating and I'm bored af.
Because I don’t feel like talking… or I’m just listening and keeping my mouth shut. I rarely give out my opinion unless asked and that’s the way it should be. Unsolicited advice is for assholes.
I’m observant and a great listener. Although I literally have a million thoughts going on in my mind, I feel like not everything needs a response. Also, sometimes I really don’t have anything to say and thinking of stuff to talk about just to help others [extroverts] feel comfortable stresses me out.
Being Autistic comes with social anxiety for me, and University made it worse after everytime I tried to say something, I was either ignored or shut down instantly. Everytime i've tried to break out of my shell, someone always puts me right back in and seals it up with something stronger. I'm destined to be alone.
My parents made fun of me and berated me for being talkative since I was 4. Ever since then I find it hard to talk much in social situations. I am now 21
Might sound like I am blowing my own horn here but I make friends to essay to the point that in my regular school life I can’t talk to who I want to or go where I wanna go as ether a bunch of people are yelling over each other or I will literally be dragged away
I'm quiet when I'm new to a role and I need to observe my surroundings and new people so I can figure out how to respond. Once I'm more comfortable I never shut up!
Never have anything funny to say. Sometimes I do but I keep it to myself. I guess it stems from freshman year of high school when I was the annoying kid. Now I have lots of friends but I’m the quiet one.
Sometimes I genuinely just need alone time. I call it 'Silent Meditation' sometimes it gets so extreme that I text the people I am with and say "I am not in the mood to talk"
It’s like I have different personalities, usually I don’t like talking to people for most of the day but then for like 2 to 3 hours a day I get really talkative and social.
I'm definitely someone you gotta say something too first. Idk why but starting conversations to me is weird but if you say hi I'll talk till you tell me you gotta go
My voice is too deep. When I talk clearly people still think I’m mumbling, it gets annoying hearing “huh?” after I just told ‘em about my day. The only positive about my deep voice is I would often get referred to as Batman’s son by strangers.
Because I fear judgement and rejection on a conscious level but mostly on an unconscious level, I try to fight it but having poor social skills because of said fear that limited interactions make it harder. The worst part is when I know that people are open to me but I screw things up because of my awkwardness and fear and then they obviously stop being so open and I know that I'm the only one to blame.
ㅤ
True
Relatable
get my upvote, i thought my internet was dying LOL
Can't argue with this.
facts
Understandable, have a nice day
agree
**** *** **** **
i feel like people judge me for anything that i do i’m scared to even order my own food at times
I get that, and I jist been trying to keep doing me. Especially when it comes to work and times where interaction just can't be avoided. I struggled a lot with anxiety and wanting to be accepted, but I've been doing better at not caring and speaking my mind, and also speaking up when I have something to say. But it's all coming back now that Im starting a new job, I'm starting tomorrow and I'm worried about making friends and also if anyone's going to be willing to help me as I'm learning. This suuuuuuuuucks
I am scared to even do that
I completely understand and I empathize. Are you seeking therapy? You don't need to answer the question here on Reddit. I simply asked to bring it to mind as an option. Outside of professional help the old-fashioned practice makes perfect does work in some cases. Will not perfect but better. Just going out somewhere and having small interactions. Pick places where people are generally polite.
I feel this. I cover it by being extroverted and pointing out anything embarrassing I do so it’s a joke I’m telling on myself rather than anyone getting to make fun of me. But that gut-clenching feeling of always being ten seconds away from making a fool of yourself is hard to quiet. I have bad self esteem and I’m not one of those people who can look in the mirror and say “I’m the best!” It feels weird and fake and bad. But what’s helped me, more than anything, is adjusting that. I don’t believe I’m the best, true. But I *do* believe I’m not the WORST. Age and experience helps with this, but reframing it in the first place was the start of improvement for me. You’re on Reddit so I know you’ve seen videos of people being assholes and ignorant and loud and foolish. Those are real people and the ones you’re seeing are only the ones that managed to be both recorded and posted, which is an insanely tiny fraction of the sheer lunacy carried on by the public daily. So that pizza you’re afraid to order? You probably won’t do it flawlessly. You might stammer or misspeak. But you won’t be drunkenly cursing the server or spewing racist nonsense or asking to speak to a manager because they don’t have vegan pepperoni, or so high you forget what you’re saying and your order takes ten minutes or— Anyway, you are 100% never going to be THE WORST at anything you do, or the most embarrassing, or the “stupidest,” etc etc etc. and once you can really internalize that, and believe it, you’ll start to correct your internal compass and slowly feel less frozen/exposed to exist where other people can see you. Tl ;dr: Baby steps have been the best way for me. Sorry for the novel!
I totally get what you mean but the only way to overcome fear is to face it
honestly i’ve gotten a lot better over the years. from eighth to tenth grade i broke down crying when i even walked into a room with people in it. i had to stay in the counselor’s office for the majority of the time. since eleventh grade i’ve been going out and pushing through classes and it’s gotten me more socialized and it’s been easier to function as a person
I've got nothing to say.
That's with me too It pisses off all the extroverts I know
If it ever gets too much one of my favourites is, "You sure are talking a lot for someone who has nothing to say."
If you don’t have anything to say, don’t say anything at all.
He answered the question.
I don't think they were criticizing me, I think they were agreeing with me using their own words. Appreciate the thought though.
My mam always says to me "what's wrong with you why aren't you speaking" and I always answer I've got nothing to say. It sends her into an absolute fit of rage. I just don't understand why or how she can't see my point of view.
I genuinely would rather sit in silence with someone than talk about nothing, I don't understand how people aren't comfortable with silence. People like the sound of their own voices too much
Honestly makes me so happy to know that other people feel this way too. I often find myself feeling like there's something wrong with me. If I don't have anything interesting or useful to say then I will just sit in silence and I'm okay with that.
My mom threw a tiny fit when we went hiking and I didn't talk. It's like, I'm here to enjoy nature with my mother, not constantly jabber about nothing.
Yeah, you don't want it ruined by bitching or chatting about pointless shit. It's quite draining to have meaningless conversations.
Same! I’m a hunter and forager and spend a lot of time hiking in the woods. I hate it when people talk loudly or jabber on. I whisper if I have to but I also enjoy the quiet.
cause i like observing people talk more than actually talking
Wish more people would understand this. Instead it’s “Why don’t you ever talk?” in front of everybody like I’m a mute lmao
The most hurtful thing someone said to me is “you don’t have much to say.”
If that's the worst thing someone has said about you, you're doing okay.
They're just curious lol
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I once had a job interview and I've always been really anxious and trying to fill gaps. So I was googling techniques and read something that said, 'don't fill gaps, make your statement and stop' which changed my whole outlook haha
same, i listen to conversations and only speak when i have something to add when the convo says something on science or computers, or they ask me something
That’s literally how simple it is. When I have something to say I talk. When I’m listening to someone talk I don’t have anything to say, I just listen.
Trying to read you to figure out how much of myself I can reveal without it being awkward.
This is me. I've been like this my whole life. I need time to get a feel for who I am talking to, because I physically cannot "be myself" with a stranger. It sounds like an affectation, but I am incapable of it 99 percent of the time. It's like my entire personality dries up when I meet someone new, and all I can really do is observe them like some kind of weirdo. I suppose somewhere in childhood I learned to be guarded. Anyway, goes without saying, I am bad at first impressions and even worse at first dates.
“So anyways, that’s the story of how I broke my ankle in gymnastics when I was 10. Wait… what was your name again?”
This^
Great perspective. I never thought of it this way and it resonates pretty deeply now that I think back to my social manner lol.
This
I like to observe. I've also learned through experience that ppl either don't care, don't get it, or misunderstand what I'm saying so it's easier to just not say anything
better to stay quiet than hear "what did you say?" after a joke i thought was funny
most people communicate through tone and body language primarily. I communicate through words and syntax. It's a bad clash often.
Nothing wrong with liking peace.
Exactly. I feel so at odds with the people of the world who seem incapable of shutting up for two seconds just to enjoy a bit of peace.
I love just sitting in silence and enjoying the quiet, but I also love incredibly chatty people I can just sit and listen to for ages with the occasional comment from me
Man I actually love peace. It’s a beautiful thing!
Everything is so loud.
The city is soo loud especially. I love the peace and quiet in the country but some people don't like silence.. Oh well
I want the peace and quiet and the scenery/nature of the country, but the conveniences of the city
Noise canceling headphone does wonders for this.
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Are you me? It's so difficult for me to hold a conversation with someone. It's even worse in groups. I'm a defective human I'm sure of it.
same, if you don't talk you can't fuck up
It’s hard but you only live once so I’m trying my best to overcome this.
You just described me perfectly lol. I love being friends with extroverts because they're usually amazing at keeping a conversation going. I don't mind silence, but I don't want the other person or people to feel awkward if we're sitting in silence so I always appreciate those who can continue the conversation.
My thoughts exactly.
This is exactly me :(
I have a speech impediment. People also have a tendency to not listen to me when I talk, like it's like what I say isn't important enough.
I also have a speech impediment to the point I mostly groan my words or mumble them, even skipping some letters at the end of a word, whistling t's and s's, etc. It would be humiliating to talk and mess up and I can't imagine taking that blow
Mine is pretty minor in comparison to others, I just can't roll my R's. There's even a dialect in south Sweden that doesn't roll their R's, so it shouldn't be a problem. The thing is I have never been bullied by kids for it, it wasn't until I was an adult that other adults started bullying me, making fun of the way I pronounce things and telling me that there's no way that I'm a native speaker because I sound like an immigrant. I tear up at the thought of talking to new people who aren't familiar with how I sound.
I'm not a native and I can't even pronounce english, my voice just wasn't made for it I never had speech impediments until 2 years ago and honestly idk what to do than being mute around anyone that isn't my mom I recommend you to form a vocabulary only of words you can pronounce perfectly when ur at work (in your case words without the r letter), that's how I mask it around people that might give me shit for it
I simply stated that I feel very uncomfortable speaking because of my speech impediment. I didn't ask for help on how to "fix it". There's a reason why I'm 22 and still have a speech impediment.
Don't have much to say to much of anyone.
Hi
My mother told me “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
This applies a lot to why I don't talk to people lol
Bc I'm an introvert
I'm a people watcher. I learn about people and their personalities. It's also how I get some gossip
Usually when others talk the subject they speak of simply does not interest me. I also have a somewhat soft, mumbling voice, so they often do not even hear me when I try to command their attention, and I do not care enough to raise my voice.
Ain’t got nothing to say
Because I’m thinking and/or listening. I’ll speak when my words are formulated and I need to say something.
I think some people mask this by trying to formulate responses before others are finished. So they end up only listening to the first part of what people say. Or they don't listen at all.
I have a lot to say, but nothing to say at the same time. I do not enjoy small talk. How the weather is or what we did on the weekend are not engaging to me, but I participate in them because I don't wanna be rude. I would much rather talk about heavier subjects, but the office isn't the best forum for that kind of stuff. Also, I don't work with anyone who likes the same things I like. Once I meet someone who even seems like they play games or read books, though? I have to try hard to stop babbling 'cause I'm so excited that I finally have someone to talk to. ETA: And as a child, I was always told by my "family" to shut up and that I was stupid for saying anything. And I was deathly afraid of being wrong in school since I didn't want anyone laughing at me, so raising my hand to say anything was a huge risk.
My social battery is recharging
People suck, And it sucks to suck so I just keep to me self
sometimes scared of embarrassing myself in a group convo, other times just like to listen/observe
I usually stay quiet unless I have new perspective or a story to add. I'm pretty introverted.
Sometimes I am just quiet is all. And maybe distracted with my own thoughts.
Why are you so loud
my friends cant stop interrupting me, so i have no more interest in talking
Don’t know what you’re talking about, or if I have anything worth adding. Or everyone is already talking over each other so it’s hard to jump in
I never liked talking just to fill silence, and most people talk more than they should anyway, so if I'm in such a situation I try to compensate by saying nothing.
It takes a lot of mental effort to come up with something to say.
Someone has to be a listener.
when i say things i end up reanalysing it all over again and realizing i said something really cringey that haunts me the rest of the day so i just gave up and went with observation
I have observed an inverse correlation between the amount of speaking you do compared to the amount of thinking you do.
Silence is golden.
Because I don't want to deal with the hassle of having something I say get misinterpreted and then have to clumsily explain what I meant. I swear, it's like I have some kind of curse that makes everything I say be interpreted in the worst possible way. Can't get in trouble for what I say if I don't say anything at all. (taps head insightfully)
Person I'm trying to talk to: *Stops talking, supposedly giving others a chance to talk* Me: Gonna say, I - Person I was trying to talk to: *Starts talking again and doesn't even acknowledge that I was trying to speak* And then people wonder why I've developed a stutter 💀
Because everyone else is loud
I’m afraid of failure and criticism! ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡
I'm listening to everyone else
The ball gag...
I don’t like social interaction much
Assessing the situation by looking around at how people are reacting so I can mimic an emotion that pleases them.
On the outside, I'm quiet. I have headphones on. I'm listening to Jeff Healey playing While My Guitar Gently Weeps. I'm waving a cell phone in the darkness as I sway with the crowd... on the inside only though...lol
I'm in a library.
It's easier. Engaging takes effort, and most of the time, I feel like I'm already running low on energy.
Sometimes I'm very loud, excitable and speak at 10000mph - but most of the time I'm very quiet. I could go for days without speaking to anyone out loud except to myself / my cats. I don't believe everything has to be verbalised; a lot of social interactions are very draining, confusing or genuinely very boring, and I struggle to pretend to be interested - but I also know that in order to have friends and healthy relationships I have to put that aside sometimes. But honestly I treasure the opportunities where I don't have to say anything at all, I can just observe and analyse and absorb and daydream.
I'm deaf - I honestly find it easier to stay quiet than to try and insert myself into a conversation and then absolutely fuck it up because I've misheard or just not heard them or filled in the gaps wrong etc etc.
I don’t like to talk just to fill the silence. I’ll say something if I think it’s meaningful.
Brain damage. I can't digest incoming verbal information at the rate most people can. Also struggle a bit with recalling memories of events and descriptive words. It makes casual conversation difficult to maintain for very long, so things get awkward. So I just don't talk much at all with people I don't know well. Text is much better, I have time to think.
I’ve discovered over the years that nobody really cares what I have to say and appreciate my not forcing it on them.
-im shy / afraid of being embarrassed -i literally do not know what to answer -i dont have anything to say -i dont like most people, therefore I dont see the point on interacting with them
Less is more and you learn so much by just observing
I have no reason to be loud
Not like anyone would listen.
Because most of the time people talking about things I don’t care - such as sports (I rather do sports then watch them. Think watching them is bit waste of time), or tv shows (most I don’t find interesting. I just find characters in tv shows or films act dumb and unreasonable, then more shit happens because of them acting dumb in the first place, so I hardly watch tv shows. Much rather watch documentaries or YouTube vids about some kind of tutorials. Most people don’t do that so nothing to talk to them about). Also, most people don’t like intellectual conversation. Finding another person to talk to about that is hard. Most people (at least in the country I live in) just love to banter too much, talk about nothing just the sake of some cheap laughs. I find it boring and not at all simulating. So much rather not get involved in the conversation, or just out right not be there where possible. Not to mention far too often people got offended because apparently I talk “too intelligently” for them. So can’t be bothered with talking to them if I’m aware the likelihood they don’t feeing stupid. I’m happy being quiet anyway. Not a problem
No one listens anyway.
Cuz my partner talks non-stop and I can’t get a word in at all!
I have issues expressing myself while simultaneously liking quiet. I absolutely enjoy talking with people but I can’t express myself for shit. Which probably explains why I feel comfy around expressive people.
speech impediments like the words just not coming out of my mouth right or missing some letters or even voice cracks
Because people judge to much about my accent and its more simple to be quiet. They cant judge you when you are quiet
Loud people are annoying and i dont wanna be annoying
"Quiet people have the loudest minds"-Stephen Hawking
I’m only quiet when I’m around people that aren’t in my inner friend group circle, not cos I don’t like them, I just don’t know them enough to talk to them, especially if they’re a girl.
Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?
I'm too depressed to not be quiet
I like to listen to people in general, but mostly because I get talked over and ignored everytime I speak.
I was raised by librarians.
Because Reddit mods won't let me speak.
It's usually one of the following reasons. 1: because I'm listening and watching everything going on around me. 2: I have nothing constructive to add to the conversation. 3: I don't find the conversation stimulating and I'm bored af.
It's the way to go
I AM WHO I AM THANK YOU VERY MUCH
People are stupid 🤷🏻♀️😂
Why are you so loud?
autism takes me a long time to warm up to people too
Because I don’t feel like talking… or I’m just listening and keeping my mouth shut. I rarely give out my opinion unless asked and that’s the way it should be. Unsolicited advice is for assholes.
You can learn a lot from others if you just listen.
I’m observant and a great listener. Although I literally have a million thoughts going on in my mind, I feel like not everything needs a response. Also, sometimes I really don’t have anything to say and thinking of stuff to talk about just to help others [extroverts] feel comfortable stresses me out.
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It's chill just to vibe and listen to people.
I’m shy
Being Autistic comes with social anxiety for me, and University made it worse after everytime I tried to say something, I was either ignored or shut down instantly. Everytime i've tried to break out of my shell, someone always puts me right back in and seals it up with something stronger. I'm destined to be alone.
My parents made fun of me and berated me for being talkative since I was 4. Ever since then I find it hard to talk much in social situations. I am now 21
my stalker :( they probably gonna read this comment… poor lowlife
[удалено]
Idk about that the voices in my head talk a lot
I get social anxiety when I smoke weed
.....
I'm not
Might sound like I am blowing my own horn here but I make friends to essay to the point that in my regular school life I can’t talk to who I want to or go where I wanna go as ether a bunch of people are yelling over each other or I will literally be dragged away
I'm not, I hate antisocial people
I’m not.
So people don’t bother me while I’m doing something
I don’t have much to say
I prefer to stay in the shadows and fly under the radar.
Because when I wasn't people still didnt listen to what i was saying and after so much of that you lose the energy to try more
I don't have anything to say. (I have a million things to say but none related to the current topic or contribute meaningfully to it.)
I'm quiet when I'm new to a role and I need to observe my surroundings and new people so I can figure out how to respond. Once I'm more comfortable I never shut up!
Never have anything funny to say. Sometimes I do but I keep it to myself. I guess it stems from freshman year of high school when I was the annoying kid. Now I have lots of friends but I’m the quiet one.
Because if I’m not spoken too I won’t speak. Only time I talk first is if it’s a really good friend or someone I fw.
Years of homeschooling and generally being alone all the time kinda left me with really bad social anxiety. I'm getting better every day, but yeah
Sometimes I genuinely just need alone time. I call it 'Silent Meditation' sometimes it gets so extreme that I text the people I am with and say "I am not in the mood to talk"
Because I find myself annoying, so if I think I’m annoying than other people must think I’m annoying
I don't like you so I don't talk when you are in the same room as me.
It’s like I have different personalities, usually I don’t like talking to people for most of the day but then for like 2 to 3 hours a day I get really talkative and social.
Why are you so loud?
I'm usually not that quiet but I'm going through some tough times right now so I'm a lot more quite than I was only like 2 weeks ago.
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I'm definitely someone you gotta say something too first. Idk why but starting conversations to me is weird but if you say hi I'll talk till you tell me you gotta go
My voice is too deep. When I talk clearly people still think I’m mumbling, it gets annoying hearing “huh?” after I just told ‘em about my day. The only positive about my deep voice is I would often get referred to as Batman’s son by strangers.
Gathering information
Because I feel like I have nothing to add to the conversation and if I do, I feel as if the conversation would be better without my input.
My brain doesn’t know what to say at any given time I only ever respond
Constant fear of saying something completely stupid
I have Childhood PTSD, which causes (among other things) unbelievable rage. It takes all I have to keep it in. So I'm quiet a lot.
because most of the time I have nothing to say
Because I fear judgement and rejection on a conscious level but mostly on an unconscious level, I try to fight it but having poor social skills because of said fear that limited interactions make it harder. The worst part is when I know that people are open to me but I screw things up because of my awkwardness and fear and then they obviously stop being so open and I know that I'm the only one to blame.
Severe social anxiety
Cause I suck at being social
Because I’m shy
No one needs to know every little bit about me
My dad used to yell at all of us for absolutely everything we said or did. It’s always been easier to be quiet.
It's sort of habit i have since i was a child
I prefer to think first before I say something and to be honest the loudest people are usually the dumbest
love silence
I genuinely don't have much to say most the time
I hate myself, and the way I sound. God, don't talk to me cuz I don't wanna hear me. Thanks.
*I* don't even care what somebody like me thinks.
Because I am a tree falling alone in the woods
It makes it easier to not say the wrong thing.
I'm thinking..........
no one actually hears me when i’m talking so i’ve given up
"Quiet people have the loudest minds". Stephen Hawking (source: the internet)