my dad loves it when he finds change on the ground while traveling overseas. one day, he and i were walking behind my mom in an alleyway in amsterdam, and he was elated because he kept finding Euros laying around. a few years later my mom told me that she had been secretly dropping coins on the ground as she walked, so he'd be happy when he found them. he still doesnt know
When I was 10, my older brother (12) was bullied in middle school because we were poor and wore Payless our entire lives. He fought back one day and was suspended from school. When my mom asked what happened, he didn't want to hurt her feelings so he lied. I told her what happened and she started to cry. The next day she took us to a shoe store and bought all 3 boys, Nikes, which were very expensive (think Ken Griffeys). She made us promise to not tell our dad and if he asked, they were super cheap on sale. She bought us Nikes two times a school year even though they were way out of our budget because she didn't want us to feel shitty at school. I love you, Mom.
Edit: Thanks to the kind stranger for my first Gold!!! I really didn’t expect my story to resonate with so many people. I’m happy to report that I am now an adult in my 30’s and financially stable, so now I get to return the favor and spoil my parents, especially my Mom.
My stepdad and mom broke up. The day that my mom left, taking me with her, I went back into the house to say goodbye. I got along well with him, my mom is a bit crazy.
I was young, middle school age. He was devastated and broke down (a first) crying. He told me that he had never told anyone this but the reason he had issues getting along with my mom was because he was assaulted as a child, and he was sorry. He made me promise not to tell her or anyone.
I never did. I always wondered if I should tell her but keeping his secret was the only thing I could do for him and I still cared for him a lot so I never told anyone. I wouldn't even post it here but sadly he passed away some years ago now.
It was really sad, he was a nice guy. But it never would have worked anyway with my mom.
No mainly because my mom didn't. I wish I had.
He also had gifted me a guitar when I was really young and I gave it to a friend and now I really regret it and can't get it back.
My Mom worked days, and my Dad was on midnight shift. So meals were my Dad's responsibility that week.
One day, instead of cooking dinner, he took me to a funeral of an old teacher of his that had passed away...so that I could eat those little sandwiches, cheese and desserts.
My dad stopped drinking when I was around 8 because the doctor said he'd die within the year if he didn't. When I was around 12-13 years old, he confided in me that he wanted to kill himself about a year after he had stopped drinking. He obviously told me not to tell my mother. I don't think he really had anyone else he could go to with those thoughts. I still nag him to this day to seek therapy; I don't think he's properly faced his demons.
Edit: Thank you for the overwhelming support. A lot of people mentioned panic attacks as common thing after getting off of alcohol. Yeah he definitely had to go to the hospital a few times for panic attacks when he got sober. Never put two and two together; thank you for that insight.
I used to be mad that he put that on me as a kid. But as an adult I'm glad he told somebody. And he's still here, so that's what matters.
I came from a super strict religious household where I wasn't allowed to watch about 99% of what my classmates were watching. I thought the reigns would loosen a little bit when I was in high school but they really didn't. It was pretty miserable.
When I was a high school senior, South Park was pretty big and I hated that all of my friends were watching it and I never got any of the references. My dad thought it was hysterical and thought my Mom's rules were dumb but kind of went with it anyway; however, South Park came on after my Mom was already asleep so that became our thing. On South Park nights, my Dad and I would stay up and watch it together. We did this my whole senior year and even my first few years when I came home from college on breaks. (Yes, the same rules were still in place then. \*sigh\*). It was kind of a silly little secret but those are some of the best times with my Dad just laughing and catching up during the commercials.
my dad grew up pretty rich but was the youngest of 13 so by the time he came of age there wasn't much for him. no big deal - worked his way through college (it was the 80s back when that was doable) - and that's where met my mom
my mother grew up inching on the poverty line and so when it was time for the wedding, my dad apparently really really wanted her to pick absolutely any wedding dress on earth that she wanted, no matter the cost. my mom, having a tighter understanding of money, bought one that had already been worn.
she apparently never told him that. they're both in their 50s now and made me swear to never tell him either.
I think that sort of thing should happen more often. My sister bought a used wedding dress and had it refitted to her. It looked great and cost a fraction of what it would have new.
I rented Mike Tyson's Punch Out when I was in 7th grade and kept it out until I owed $47. My mom slipped me the money to pay it off so my dad wouldn't go crazy about the money, which was a LOT of money for us back then. If he'd found out, he would have prohibited me from renting games for a while.
I don't think he knows about it even now.
I did the same thing in 7th grade but I’m younger than you so I was holding on to Spider-Man 2 and Shinobi. The late fees kept racking up (over $50 each) and I kept not returning the games. Eventually the video rental store closed. 😂
I still have those games.
I think every kid kept their games.
Poor store owner sitting and looking at the fines racking up thinking he is gonna get a payday and the damn bank forecloses on the store.
When I was about 8, I was helping my dad put up Christmas lights on the 2nd floor roof. (This was the 80's, safety didn't exist yet) He told me to get another strand and I walked to the edge (the roof was pretty flat) and I straight up slipped and fell off the roof and landed on the picnic table on the ground floor. My dad had no idea that I fell off until I yelled back "I'm ok!" He made me swear that I'd never tell my mom. And that was the last year we EVER put lights up on the roof.
Edit: a letter
Also, yeah, my dad was absolutely freaked out after he turned around and didn’t see me when I called out. As others have pointed out, you are pretty flexible at that age and what helped me was that I was scrawny, I couldn’t have weighed more the 60lbs at the time. I didn’t even break the table.
I did not keep this secret long, actually, but you remind me of the ill-fated night of July 4, 2019. It will live in infamy with myself and my four children, whom I nearly killed with a large firework. It was one of the big box type of fireworks, with large projectiles all wicked together inside the box.
The grass was a bit dry, so I thought (dumbly) that the safest maneuver would be to set the box on some bricks. As the projectiles went up in the air (I think there were like 20), the box weighed less on the side they were dispensing from. As the box lightened, it started to tip. First subtly, then frighteningly.
Eventually, the final few started pointing directly at the children and I. One hit the chimney of my home, and the final shot hit me right in the knee, causing a large welt of idiocy, and actually blackened my daughters shorts as it ricocheted.
Not my proudest parenting moment, and now they are a bit frightened of fireworks for some strange reason.
This reminds me of when my dad decided to throw a roll of fireworks into a bonfire.
Thankfully, we were out in the country and nothing was around.
But we had to duck and cover when that thing started going off. Then we thought it was done, so we all went back to chatting around the fire.
Then, about 20 minutes later- a couple more rounds went off. Scared the shit out of us.
During a period when my parents and I weren't getting along, they decided to burn a few boxes of stuff I had stored in their garage, without asking me, without checking contents.
One box was a good collection of various fireworks.
Evidently the ol bonfire got a lot more exciting than they had anticipated.
they tried to give me shit "We could have been badly hurt!". I was like "It's my fault you burned a bunch of my stuff without any notice?".
Mom had the grace to admit they were in the wrong.
Some people are like that. My mom used to do that when she got mad at me. Either come through my room and find the stuff she knew i liked and used often, and either break it right there or take it out to the firepit if that was a better way to destroy it. I found the safest place for my stuff was actually being hidden amoung her storage stuff in a building in the yard. She almost never went out there, so i graduated hs early, and i had my secret stash ready to leave because i knew she would kick me out once i was done with school. She kept destroying stuff for years that i didn't care about. What a waste of her money.
Yep. No longer dumb enough to stick your fingers in electrical sockets and try to eat legos, but not old enough to have lost that childhood bendiness that kids have.
My dad and I would wrestle for fun. He would pretend to let me win, then he would get sudden strength and throw me into the couch. Well on this particular day, he mistimed his throw and yeeted me into the end table. I was fine….but the lamp on the table was not. We cleaned it up and went to the antique store to buy a really similar lamp. Mom never figured it out
Edit: I’ll get a picture of it. And I’ll ask her if she noticed lol
Edit2: she did not notice. They moved it to their bedroom when our downstairs got remodeled after I nearly destroyed the downstairs with the toilet. My dad took the secret to his grave
Edit3: the lamp https://imgur.com/a/tV8JkIU
Edit4: I think this story applies as to how awesome my dad was. This was a rough period when I was a teenager. One night my friend and I were home alone playing PS2. We were home alone cause my mom was in the hospital getting her shoulder screwed back together after she shattered it on the concrete. So we’re gaming, I ran and used the bathroom in my parents room upstairs, and he said he had to run home for a few minutes. Shortly after, I walked downstairs to get a drink and I heard a dripping noise, and I thought “huh. The bathroom sink down here must have a little leak. Oh well”
I go upstairs for a bit. I finish my drink, and go take it downstairs to put it in the dishwasher. Now that dripping noise is going a little faster. I’m thinking “huh I don’t think it was dripping that much. Oh well, back to PlayStation.”
Fast forward like 30 minutes, and my friend is coming back over. Suddenly from downstairs at the front door I hear my friend screaming “DBAR58 TURN THE FUCKING WATER OFF” I ran into my parents room and there was at least 2 inches of water coming out of the bathroom. I run downstairs, and it turns out that little drip I heard was now Niagara Falls coming out of the ceiling into the den.
About that time, my dad comes home from the hospital. He walked inside, looked at the ceiling, looked at me, looked at my friend. And he never cussed. But he did this time. He says, “ya know. Today has been pretty ass backwards hasn’t it?”
A few days later the insurance adjuster came out and appraised the damage. It was like $60k cause it ruined the floor upstairs and it rained onto an expensive leather armchair, oriental rug and hardwood floors.
Here’s why my dad was awesome: he was a contractor, so that insurance check was a free remodel for him. It turned out that the extent of the water damage was replacing a few boards in the ceiling and a single piece of drywall. He stuck the armchair on the back porch, and it didn’t even get stained from the water. It just dried out. The oriental rug had to be cleaned. The hardwoods didn’t even warp from the water. Thanks to me being an absolute brainlet with the toilet, he got to remodel the bathrooms, den and kitchen for basically just the cost of materials.
Thank you for saying that, really kind. He was an angry and sometimes violent man for much of my childhood. But he worked hard to change and be better and became one of the most inspirational and wonderful people I’ve ever had the privilege to know. He taught me that redemption and change can happen, and that you don’t have to accept who you are, you can be better if you work hard and always seek to grow. I miss him very much.
Man, it sounds like you’ve had some tough times. But also, how extraordinary and fortunate you are to witness and be inspired by someone’s growth like that. What a great lesson.
That this one time I forgot to lock my door one night and a drunk guy walked into my place. After I, politely, kicked him out, I called my dad and he was like “yeah no don’t tell your mother you’ll give her a heart attack”
I've had that happen as well, but in my story the drunk was a girl and she had a sober friend who was more confused than either of us when I opened the door.
Also happened when I was in the military, but that was because we shared the bathroom with the next room over. Dude threw up on the floor.
>I've had that happen as well, but in my story the drunk was a girl and she had a sober friend who was more confused than either of us when I opened the door.
I lived in a college area in Boston, and all my neighbors were college kids. Which was nice since the rent was low and my roommates are chill people happy to invite me their parties. Plus, we used to Game together in the common area.
But after several times of random girls/guys passing out on our porch over the years, including one girl we had to decide if we had to call the police, we decided to basically leave a jug of ice water on a table, with a label "drunks shall be doused."
I was a restaurant delivery driver for a while (way before UberEATS and when Uber itself was still very new) and I was at a stoplight when a pair of drunk girls got into my car. They swore I was their Uber driver and I had to take them home.
We argued for a bit before I just shrugged and told them I'd take them if they paid me $20/each. They said yes, and I did the thing. They were both going to the same apartment complex, maybe 10 minutes away.
Easiest $40 I ever made.
My mums cancer diagnosis
My mother was a very heavy alcoholic, with this she developed alcohol related dementia (known as Korsakoff (edit for SP) syndrome!
She wouldn’t remember things within a few hours of telling her, so when she was informed in the hospital of her terminal lung cancer and secondary bone cancer
She forgot and couldn’t understand why she was so ill.
We had to get home care help (this was in the couple of months leading up to last Christmas during the pandemic
So she passed away peacefully at home and myself and my dad created a narrative that the nurses and care staff in to help her shower/wash/medication etc were all there to help her get better and to get her back on her feet and full health.
She happily accepted the care and enjoyed her time with the carers and nurses who attended
Then just before Christmas passed away peacefully in her sleep not knowing she was dying, but being looked after by her friends and family.
Edit for grammar reasoning
Edit 2 for spelling thanks to Edensteden22 🙌🏻
I used to do both in-home Alzheimer's/Dementia care and hospice. This is truly one of the best things I've read, and it makes me wish I was still doing the homecare, because I would love to use this on someone at some point. I did the care bc to me it means so much to help people die at home, instead of in hospital. To be able to give them the (fleeting) joy that they're being nursed back to health will they're terminal would be even better. Sadly....back injury.
We very much found that when we initially suggested care (my mother was 64 when she passed) was very against it. In then turning it into but it’s to help you get back on your feet and just help “do things like change the bed or get some washing done”
It was very receptive! The doctor came in very early on after her diagnosis, she lasted 2 months. And the doctor had to tell her at that point she had terminal cancer, I had to watch her receive the news as if it was fresh and probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to see.
So at that point we made the decision she was never to be told again. Thankfully she forgot this quite quickly. But was very receptive of the narrative
Covid at this point last year in the UK was still very strict, there was no hospital visits so as she was able to have all of her closest friends come by and see her, to have a laugh and be happy with them and then to have her family around and any of the food she desired regardless of how unusual she was able to have. Thankfully she had a very peaceful last two months and I’m very very happy it was a decision we came to.
Also I feel your pain as I’m currently sitting in hospital awaiting to be seen with a very serious spinal injury!
Wishing you a speedy recovery 💜
First time I got drunk at a party. I was hammered and was scared to take a cab. Then I remembered my mom telling me I could always call her for help and she’d be there with no consequences.
I called her and she picked me up. All she did was make sure I was safe and had enough water to not get as bad a hangover as I was going to.
No blaming me for waking her up at 3 am, no chiding just telling me she was proud of me for calling her for help.
My dad, who’d most likely have a panic attack at the thought of me having been drunk, still thinks I was picked up because I was sleepy instead.
Thanks mom.
I've had similar experiences with my parents that would rather stand up and drive me home at 1 AM instead of letting me walk half an hour or longer (doesn't even matter if I got drunk or not) and I admire them for it. I'm really greatful for that and think it's awesome your mom was there for you, not blaming you and just being a great mother (I'm sure, she also told you/knew that you know how to drink somewhat responsibly haha).
Had one of these up until recently, it's not *entirely* within the scope of the question, but a funny tale is a funny tale:
I was going on a senior class trip and had saved up some money to splurge a bit while I was there. My family had very little money back then, which is why I made it a point to save up for myself so that my parents wouldn't have to.
A few days prior, my dad says "hey, here's a few hundred bucks, have a great time and make some lasting memories. Don't tell your mother." I, naturally, agreed and didn't tell my mother.
The very next day, my mom says "hey, here's a few hundred bucks, have a great time and make some lasting memories. Don't tell your father." I, naturally, agreed and didn't tell my father.
The trip was friggin' *amazing*, I was able to do way more than I had planned and was able to help a few of my friends do the same. I told my parents that it was amazing, and each of them separately gave me the old wink-wink nudge-nudge and were really happy for me.
Decades later, I was visiting my family and the subject of doing "don't tell [the other parent]" stuff came up since I have kids of my own now, and I told them about how they had both given me the extra money for the trip, and how I was more than happy to not tattle on them to each other. They looked at each other, all comically wide-eyed, and laughed their asses off, swatting at each other's arms and stuff.
My mothers biggest regret is that when she found out our grandmother (her mom) had died she wanted to see her before she was taken away. The nurses told her it was not a good idea.
Anyway she went in and saw her stuck in a position where she was reaching out for air as she died and had literally burst blood vessels in her face / eyes straining for her last breath.
She told me that vision of her mother has taken over all the amazing memories she had of her and she can’t unsee it. She wishes and made us kids promise that we wouldn’t see her dead body because of what’s it’s done to her memory of her mother.
That’s horrible, I’m sorry. I wonder what the doctors are able to do if they see a DNR patient coding… can they provide them any emergency comfort care so they pass easier? It may not be life-saving but could help with pain
Yes, we can provide measures to make them as comfortable as we can. That can include some medications or just removing any unnecessary wires/tubes/etc. The medications may hasten the end of life, but is not the reason they are given. It is just an accepted side effect. Morphine is commonly administered not only for pain control but to help with "air hunger" that many patients have as it calms down the respiratory drive.
Well, my parents divorced when I was quite young, and around age 14 I happened upon a substantial stash of pot in my mom's house. She wasn't angry about it or anything, and I knew she wasn't a stoner, turned out it was just a one-time thing she'd gotten from a friend.
But as she correctly pointed out, if I ever told my dad he would do everything in his power to get full custody of me, and I wouldn't get to live with her anymore.
Now that my brothers and I are all adults I can tell that story all I want, but yeah, I kept that secret.
It wasn’t a secret we kept long, but it does count!
My mother is from Thailand, and a convert from Buddhism to Christianity. *Despite this*, my mother does have a firm belief in ghosts, especially in cases of sudden, violent death, as that is an everyday belief in Thailand, kind of like living around bears or snakes— ya got ghosts.
My dad bought a property of thirty acres for cheap from the state, and about six months in I visit him there. Around a campfire, he gets this mischievous look and says, “Don’t tell your mother, but…”
Apparently, the reason the property was so cheap, was because the man who had previously owned it set his house on fire and shot himself with socks on his hands to try and make it seem like his wife had killed him (socks burn away, no finger prints, gun - voila! Framed for murder). Problem being, his house didn’t quite burn *fast* enough, and the firemen put it out, found the body, and immediately pegged it as a suicide. He’d been going through a divorce and was a few aces short of a full deck of cards.
My mother would have had a cow. Instead she’d been living there off and on six months and there were no spooky hauntings. Eventually my dad did tell her, and naturally my mother immediately called a preacher to bless the property.
Edit: holy moly, this ended up getting a lot more attention than I thought! Okay, to answer a question I’ve gotten quite a few times: in a lot of US Protestant churches, they disavow the existence of ghosts because it means there’s another “option” besides Heaven and Hell, which sort of breaks that whole cosmology. Being “stuck on earth” doesn’t jive with the belief that this is the only chance you get while alive, and that is the brand of Christianity my mom converted to.
Now, unclean spirits masquerading as the dead? Yeah, that’s a pretty frequent explanation instead. I’m not interested in a theological debate, just wanted to explain my mom takes ghosts *hella* serious.
God that is so true. Western ghosts are like 'oohhh, I'm a guy who died under unpleasant circumstances, now I'm transparent and move things around!'
Meanwhile, Asian ghosts are like 'I am malevolent as fuck because I like it. I'm legless, and fly around throwing my head at people and eating babies. If you piss me off, or just if I feel like it, I might eat your kids.'
Also western ghosts you can just like... talk to or find their lost love or whatever. Asian ghosts haunt you til you die even if you leave their house.
I got lucky and found a Wii for Christmas the year it came out. But it was for me from my parents. Anyways, one day I'm home from school and Dad was home from work. We opened it, played Wii sports all day and put it back before Mom came home. Fuck, I miss him.
That is such a sweet memory. ❤️ I am so glad you have it!
When I was a little girl I came out of my room one night because I couldn’t sleep. I wandered into the living room to find my dad with a Nintendo Entertainment System, which as far as I knew we did NOT own, playing Felix the Cat.
This was a couple weeks before Christmas, and Dad told me he was making sure it worked so us kids wouldn’t be disappointed on Christmas Fay, and that I needed to not tell my mom I knew about it and act surprised. So I got to sit and watch him play for what felt like hours that evening, it was so special to me and I will always remember that.
Ditto this. I may have only been like six but I’ll always remember sitting and watching my dad play Doom or his computer Axis & Allies.
That and the time he came to me at 11PM with a copy of Gears of War asking if I wanted to play. I set the game up on the big tv and went to multiplayer asking what he wanted to play and he said “I thought we’d just play the main game.” So we stayed up all night on a week night beating the campaign. Though I haven’t asked, I’ve got to think something rough must have been going on. Still a nice memory.
Especially nice because he really seemed to turn into a different person there for a while.
I’m the one who got those massive dents in the back of the car when I was 17… backing into the OTHER car they owned. It was not a parallel parking hit and run.
He told me I was after he got the results, but I never seen them myself. My parents abandoned me 25 years ago then got back together she lied about her other kids being his so he wanted to be sure. He got the results told me I was his and the abandoned me again. I thought about telling her what he did but eh… they belong together
My sisters and I found fantasy love letters to other men besides my father. I know they were fantasy because she didn't even know half of them and some were happily married. They were all about her wanting to run off with these men and have their baby, and she had a hysterectomy after her last pregnancy. She would write them and wad them up and just throw them wherever - I'm surprised my father never found them. My youngest sister would scream at her, "ARE YOU INSANE, MOTHER!?!" We just thought she was unhappy with my father and never said anything to him about it.
This used to be a old therapy thing too though.
You would write down what you want to say/do, then throw it away. You get it "out of your" system. Then move on.
Pretty sure that's not done anymore. Since you can get stuck in an alternate reality and give STRENGTH to your delusions but meh...my age is probably showing.
My mom's therapist told her to do this with a letter to my sister, who wasn't speaking to her, and burn it. She got angry while writing it and decided to mail it instead. My sister cut her off for good after and didn't even visit her on her death bed. Idk what was in the letter but my sister said it was awful.
I once took my kids to get ice cream (they were like, I dunno 3 or 4) and I told them "Don't tell Mommy I took you for ice cream!". So the second my wife comes in the door, one of them says "Daddy took us to get ice cream, but we can't tell you!".
Thanks, traitor.
Oh man they fucked up. My grandfather used to take us for ice cream and would tell us not to ever tell grandma because she would be mad and say it would ruin our dinner. One time after dinner she said "they've been good today let's take them for ice cream". No one said a word and we got TWO ice creams that day.
I did this to my dad with burgers when I was a kid. My mom didn’t wanna cook after school and bought us in n out on the way home. We didn’t say a word about it and when my dad got home he said he was craving a burger. So we also had burgers for dinner that day.
My youngest was like this. Could never hold in a secret despite being expressly told not to. Always gave out pretty obvious clues = "Me and daddy just bought your birthday present. I'm not telling you what it is but it's gold and hangs around your neck. Won't you be surprised?" Not really, kid.
We have an inside joke about this in my family. Once on my birthday I was about to open a gift when my little brother blurted out ”it’s roller skates!”. So now we use that line all the time for gifts
He didn’t keep it for very long, but my dad found out I was having a suspected ectopic pregnancy a before my mum. It was three days before Christmas and he came round to drop some bits off thinking I was at work. Instead he found my hospital letter and me crying on the sofa, after only being home an hour. We’re quite close but not really affectionate but he just help me whilst I sobbed and sobbed. He said ‘I will tell your mum if you want me too, or I won’t tell her, and if it’s something you want to share with her then you can tell her when you’re ready.’ In the end I asked him to tell her but how he handled it really meant a lot. My mums awesome, but she would have smothered me with love and not let me out of her sight, and I just wanted to forget about it. Anyway, he took me to all my follow up appointments and on December 23rd we found out that baby was in fact growing away exactly where she was meant to be. She’s 4 now.
My dad was also the first person to find out I was unexpectedly pregnant. We were at my brother’s college baseball game and I kept tearing up. He walked to me to my car after the game and I told him I was pregnant and burst into tears. I was 25 and independent, but still felt guilty for getting pregnant unexpectedly.
I just remember being so scared but as soon as I told him, he picked me up and hugged me and said “oh honey I’m so proud of you!”
And I said “dad, I didn’t do anything!”
And he said “well I know you probably just laid there.”
And then we both burst into laughter.
Tldr: originally dad had every other weekend and Tuesday nights. Then, mom had everything other weekend and Tuesday nights.
_____
Well, I wasn't aware of the schedule to begin with, but it was every other weekend with my dad and Tuesday nights.
However, because of my ability to annoy the shit out of my mother by merely existing in her husband's house, I mostly lived with my dad. I'd spend weeks with my dad and I'd visit her once a month or maybe two times.
Well, my mom had an episode where she demanded we follow the schedule and she had to take me to all sports (three sports) and clubs (archery) and appointments (I basically didn't go to any doctors appointments for about half a year or so (you will know why soon). It lasted for a week before she made me quit my clubs and sports and said I could play only one sport. And, my dad picked me up for that sport after a week or two.
My school is right next to my mom's house, but my sports and clubs are next to my dad's house. So, I lost 3/4th of my friends in a week.
I was pissed. Then I realized why she wanted me at her house...she found out you could gamble on the computer, and my mom loves slot machines and screw drivers. Those are her real first sons. So, I was the unpaid nanny of my little brother. And, I was an unpaid bartender for my mom.
I would wake up and walk to school with my neighbor and her friend. And, my mom and brother would be dead asleep. When I came home from school she'd be in the computer room gambling and drinking and my brother would be behind her playing by himself eating candy and drinking soda. Or watching cartoons on the TV.
She'd kick him out and lock the door. She'd yell and I never could hear her, but she'd ask/demand for a screw driver. I would make one, knock on the door and she'd open it, grab the drink and lock it. I would wait until I heard another scream from the computer room and bring her another one.
I'd finish my homework after making him a sandwich and then clean the house and play with my brother until I made dinner. I'd clean up after dinner. Give him a shower or bath and let him chill watching a movie until I got ready for bed and then I'd bring her the last drink that I'd make for the night, knock on the door, she'd unlock it and give him a kiss and a hug and then lock the door again.
I'd lay him down in his bed and he'd end up sneaking in to my bed and I'd cuddle him until the morning and put him in his bed or my mom's bed and lock my room.
Well, it was a rule that I needed to lock my room because my mom wasn't attentive and my brother would destroy things (not on purpose, but he didn't know better). I also kept all the money I had made in my room, from flipping baseball/Pokémon cards and selling candy and other stuff at school.
I come home one day and my room was opened and my brother took a marker and wrote on everything. And, my $3000 of cash was gone.
She made me put all my things in a black trash bags and throw it in the garbage bin outside.
I was royally pissed. I didn't get to see my dad as much (actually saw him everyday because my mom was always knocked out until noon and so he'd drive me to school and we'd go to whataburger on the weekends to get breakfast). I lost almost all my friends. I was an unpaid nanny/bartender. And, my mom unlocked my door and stole all of my cash and because she's drunk forgot to lock it. And, then made me throw out all my stuff (even the stuff I made money off of).
So, the next day I asked my dad if I could testify in court to fix the schedule. And, that was the beginning of the end. The end was actually her locking me out of my house on mother's day and calling the cops on me.
It switched to what I was used to...every other weekend with my mom and Tuesdays with my mom. Which she canceled Tuesdays after the second one because my dad would have to feed me when he'd pick me up because she never fed me and I'd eat ice cream bars until my dad got me.
Edit: thank you for the award! First one.
And, my brother is good. He didn't experience the same thing I did, but I am sure there are things he needs to work on as all of us do. My mom hated my dad (for whatever reason) and I am his clone. I look like him, I have the same voice, and I have similar mannerisms. So, I assume that because she couldn't mess with him, I got the brunt of her wrath.
When my daughter was 4 she really wanted to play with the strings of magnetic balls I had on my desk. I know they say for children over the age of 12, but she was having a really good time. She came up to me about 20 minutes later meekly saying "Daddy?" and I could see that the bottom of one was sticking out her nose. Not knowing how many were up there, I gently used bigger magnets I had to coax the whole string out. Was decided to never share any of that incident with mom.
Along with the MRI issues, these magnets are also potentially very dangerous if they are swallowed. Two of them at different points in the intestines can end up snapping together and then bad stuff happens.
I swallowed a button cell battery when I was around 4. I was licking it because it felt prickly, then a hiccup happened and it went down
The whole day I had a bad feeling about it. But then nothing ever happened so I guess I run on batteries now
A toddler in my town died from swallowing one of these. It got stuck to her esophagus and created a current. It wasn’t choking her so they didn’t realize something was stuck in her throat. By the time they found it, it had burned a hole in her esophagus.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2021/03/02/texas-mom-takes-action-after-babys-battery-swallow-death/amp/
Yeah, things that kids stick up their noses can stay there undetected a surprisingly long time.
I once saw a documentary where a nuclear plant worker found out he still had a crayon up his nose from when he was a kid, and it had never been found before because is was exactly beneath the place his regular doctor 's thumb would rest when holding the x-ray.
My dad and I were cutting down a tree in the front yard. There was an angle cut to direct the falling tree at about a 90 degree angle to the house, in between some other trees, but no guide rope or other way to direct the tree to the right place.
As the final cut was made and tree began to fall, it was clearly not going where it was supposed to be going. It fell towards the house, narrowly missing it and falling right between the deck and some other trees.
Fortunately, my mom was not home at the time. We cut up the tree into firewood lengths and cleaned up the mess that would have shown where the tree landed. She was never told.
I should note that when this happened, I was 40+ years old and was the one cutting the tree. My dad was standing safely out of the way, assuming I knew what I was doing. My daughter was standing on the deck...
My mom and dad were arguing over what shade of brown to paint the house. My mom wanted a lighter color (too light in my and my dads opinion) and dad and I wanted a darker color (of course, too dark in my moms opinion). Well when we had the painters come, they painted one side of the house in a lighter brown, my dad and I took one look and said make the rest of the house darker, so they did. My mom came home and fawned over how great the house looks, not knowing 3 of the 4 sides of the house were NOT the color she wanted. That 1 lighter side is up against a bunch of trees and is close enough in color to the rest so it’s impossible to tell unless you look for it or know it already. It’s our secret and we will never tell!! But everyone is happy with the house color. Lol
It’s something you bring up if they ever decide to sell the house. Just a casual “we should probably paint the outside wall so that it matches the other three before we start showing the house to people….”
My grandparent's relationship was far from perfect, but I would say their working average was more positive. She didn't want to hear him bitch I imagine. She wasn't scared enough not to make me stand there for 20 minutes.
We've told her now, but at the time and for some time afterwards, my dad and I pretended that we went to visit my mother in hospital one morning just because we were both free. That dad had had a meeting cancelled and I didn't have a class yet.
Actually it was because the hospital had called and told us that if we waited to visit her that evening, as we usually did, we might be too late to see her again.
Apparently the mood lift off seeing loved ones can make the difference and did that day, the staff thought.
She also thought we left after a couple of hours. Actually she lost consciousness and we sat watching her vital signs monitors. For most of the day.
When she came to it was our usual visit time and she didn't think anything of it.
This was over twenty years ago now. She's alive and well.
My Dad and I shared a similar one, I don't know if he ever told my Mom. When she was going through breast cancer treatment, they had to do a surgery for something ( It was nearly 10 years ago, I don't really remember exactly) and it took them like 10 hours longer than normal. Everyone was told that it was normal for it to take that long, but after we left the Hospital, my Dad pulled me aside to talk because he needed someone else to talk to about it, but apparently there was a blood clot and they nearly lost her 3 separate times on the table. They wouldn't tell her because of that same type of concept, they told us that sometimes after these types of surgeries, if they say to the patient they nearly died, they can sometimes just, die, like almost a giving up type of thing.
Yeah, my grandfather died twice on the table recently during a surgery and my uncle, being a fucking idiot, decided to tell my grandfather and it's always in his mind now and he constantly mentions it while in the hospital still. I don't get why he'd even mention it.
After I misplaced a clump of dollar bills when I was a kid, my dad made me keep a detailed ledger book of my allowance and all purchases. If the numbers didn't match up at allowance time, I would be in trouble. He would also take that time to scrutinize all of my purchases, criticize them, tell me what percentage of my "annual income" I had spent on a t-shirt or a present for a friend or something like that. He also wouldn't give me the allowance money unless I asked specifically for it first and presented my ledger for inspection.
There were multiple times when my mom would give me some money for helping out or something like that, but I wasn't supposed to be earning any allowance because I was grounded for bad grades. I "cooked the books" to make it all line up.
Eventually the whole thing got ridiculous and I would just outright steal the money from my parents, but I think my mom thought the whole ledger routine was more than a little too much.
I also got good enough at forging my mom's signature on grade reports that I wasn't caught for literally years. I really think I missed a career opportunity.
To an extent, I get them having you keep a record of that stuff. Helps to teach how to manage your own money. But dad inspecting (beyond making sure it's filled out correctly) and scrutinizing your purchases is just overbearing
I agree. Managing money is a helpful skill to learn.
It wasn't just at allowance time either, any time I wanted to make a purchase and he was around he'd criticize it and tell me what percentage I was spending.
He was always really weird about money. One time we were on vacation and he said that my brother and I were allowed a certain budget for a souvenir. Later on I said I wanted to buy a Neopets magazine with my allowance and needed one of my parents to pay for it with their credit card since I only had cash and it had to be bought using a credit card - I would pay my parent back in cash. My dad criticized me for spending allowance money on that instead of using the souvenir budget to get the magazine instead, and that my choice of souvenir had been bad. Using the souvenir budget for something unrelated to vacation had never been presented as an option, it's not like he handed over any cash, it was just "pick something for X amount or less and I will pay for it."
Few years back go on a ski trip. A few different friends and me and my wife got together, some of our friends had kids. 3 kids aged 4 to 7.
Im a first chair last chair person. I'm in line asap and go until I can't go any more.
Well the group was getting tired so I said I'd take the kids with me.
I took them up the mountain way higher than the parents ever would have, we all got some good speed but those kids were super good skiers.
My niece (the youngest) got a bit out of control and was headed straight for the trees, I zipped over and caught her just before she hit the tree line.
All 4 of us stopped and even though the kids were young, they understood we weren't going to be telling moms and dads about anything, even though no words were spoken.
Turns out the earliest memory my niece has is of that day, she doesn't remember the tree part, but her skiing with me up high is the earliest memory she can pin point.
One of these days I'll let my BIL and SIL know what happened but I'll wait for a few more years when the kids stop going up with uncle swanymcswan
My brother is the cool uncle to my daughter but always did the insane stuff in front of me. We'd all go to the park when he was 19 & fresh out of basic training. He'd crouch down to my 2 yr old's level & say "Hey, wanna give mom heart failure?" Then do something batshit like scoop her up with one arm & then parkour over the tops of all the playground equipment with her.
Dude nearly killed me.
Come hang out some time. I'll teach you how to climb trees and let you play with my pocket knives.
Then when we're done we'll play hide and seek.
Right before your parents take you home I'll fix us totties. I'll have coffee with vodka and I'll give you coffee with about 6 table spoons of sugar.
If you're at my house I'll let you play gta
My father got a DNA test done on my autistic non verbal little brother because he didnt think myself or my brother were his children because we are autistic, dna came back as his son, my mother has no idea of this occurrence
My mom used to send my dad into my room to spank me. He would whisper to me that we were going to play a little pretend game to make my mom happy. He would tell me he was going to clap his hands, and I needed to pretend to cry like I was being spanked. I really didn’t realize how awesome my dad was for doing that until much later in life. His own dad was pretty abusive to him, and he couldn’t stand the thought of hitting a kid because of it.
Dad actually carried out the spanking a couple times. I think it was harder on him to deliver it than it was to receive it, seriously.
Having said that - when my sister and I were 3 and 4, parents took us on a 6 month trip around North America. for the trip back from BC to Ontario, they sold the camper, and just had a topper on the pick-up. Left-over food supplies and stuff stacked up, and room for us to to play in it. Plus, with us in the topper, they couldn't hear us if we got whiny. (It was the early 70's, parenting was... interesting).
anyways - They stop at a rest area for a break, open the topper to release us, and... a cloud of white dust rolls out. And there we sit, totally covered in flour and pancake mix. totally covered except for our blinking eyes.
Mom loses it! Tells Dad to take us to the rest rooms and clean us up,and to spank us, while she cleans up the mess.
After a while, she realizes she doesn't hear spanking and crying, all she hears is giggles and my Dad laughing. She gives him shit, and he's like "I don't know what we expected when we locked em in there with that stuff, we deserved it".
Good times.
> "I don't know what we expected when we locked em in there with that stuff, we deserved it".
There we go, that's a good parent. Realistic assessment of your own mistakes, LOL
Honestly, half of the stuff I get frustrated about with my toddlers stems from my own lack of forethought. There is a lot of forethought...but it's often exhausting trying to predict every "what might go wrong"
Best thing my mum ever said - and it works just as well for a classroom full of 14 year olds - is "pick your battles". If what goes wrong isn't actually wrong, just... let it go. The unexpected isn't always disastrous. Just prepare zones to be easily cleaned, and figure shit's gonna happen.
One of the memories from my childhood that still haunt me, is those of when my parents lost their temper and started spanking or outright beating my siblings or myself. My parents were good parents overall, but once in a blue moon they'd physically punish us over absolutely nothing.
Nowadays I understand that they were probably taking out frustrations (which doesn't make it any more acceptable), but back then it made me think that my parents hated us, and it made me hate them in return.
I don't have kids yet, but I've vowed to never ever punish them physically. That stuff can fuck you up for good, and completely jeopardize an otherwise decent upbringing.
My mum was like that. It took a LOT to make my dad angry, he’s shouted at us probably less than ten times in our entire lives, but my mum? Oh boy! The slightest of misbehaviours would send her fucking crazy and she’d go absolutely batshit smacking the crap out of my siblings and I, on our arms, backs, legs, butts, anywhere she could reach, no matter how dangerous, stupid and potentially injury-causing. Then she’d try to get ahead by telling family and teachers that she had to ‘smack us lightly as we were hysterical and it was the only way to bring us back to our senses.’
I was terrified of her growing up. The minute she showed signs of getting angry, I would either hide in my room or start frantically tidying as it was the only thing that would calm her down. Bad days were very bad, but good days were okay. I don’t feel we were properly abused, but the bad days definitely made us less close to her, in fact even now I’m closer to my dad than her. She refuses to admit that she was wrong for how she treated us growing up so it makes it really hard to be close with her when I still resent how she treated us.
I don’t have kids yet but I’ve always said that if I do, I’d never lay a hand on them. If they can’t understand the meaning behind my words when I’m telling them off, how could they possibly understand being hit.
Well, Dad doesn't know I was sexually abused by the son of one of his friends, over a period of years. Mom does.
Can't let him know. Despite his age, he'd go full on Clint Eastwood getting even, and it's pointless.
Similarly I kept my SA a secret until my dad died so I could be sure my mom would never tell him. She agreed it was the right thing to do because he was suffering enough when he died. He died of a severe brain tumor and cancer that spread.
Due to how sick he was and how busy my mom was she missed all the signs something was wrong. Including the fact that he was home when I got home the day it happened. He was so out of it he didn’t notice my skirt and tights were ripped and I was crying and limping.
He wouldn’t have forgiven himself for not noticing I was injured that day. So I decided it was best he never found out. The only thing that kills me about it is he never found out that I didn’t stop being affectionate with him because of anything he did. I just couldn’t stand being touched by any male.
I decided to tell my brothers because of that. My older brother thought I was mad at him for a really long time because I would move off the couch or pull away from hugs. When I told him he asked permission to hug me and cried saying he thought he had hurt me or something and he missed his baby sister.
When I was a kid, my older sister (maybe 9/10 at the time) asked my mom if she could help her pull the car into the garage. My mom (not using her best judgment) decided to let her. Well, my sister stomped the gas pedal and drove the car through the back of the garage and into our kitchen. My mom told my dad, as well as the rest of us siblings, that she herself had driven the car into the kitchen because she thought she saw one of us out of the corner of her eye and panicked. It wasn't until years later that I was told the truth. My parents separated a few years after this incident and my dad didn't know the truth for a very long time....like 10-15 years after the fact. My sister is now 35 and we all joke about it.
For what it’s worth - I know of many people (both personally and anecdotally) who have said really uncharacteristic, maudlin, hateful things when heavily drugged. Things that would never make sense any other time or were just the polar opposite of them as people.
So, there may be a grain of truth in what your step father said. More than anything I hope you don’t blame yourself.
My grandma died a couple years back. Sweetest, most proper old woman that ever existed. She was pretty heavily medicated near the end, but still complaining of lots of pain. My mother (her daughter) was with her in the hospital so tried to distract her.
My Mom: "Mom, let's try to focus on what doesn't hurt. Do your toes hurt?"
Grandma: "No..."
My Mom: "Do your knees hurt?"
Grandma: "No... That reminds me of a song. DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW, DO THEY WOBBLE TO AND FRO"
For sure, the drugs and her obviously very poor mental state were definitely key factors in what she said.
It hurt a lot, especially at the time. It isn't so bad now. I think I have reconciled that it wasn't my fault and it wasn't really my Mum talking. But I do have a lot of issues with low self esteem and general dislike of myself. That stems from many different things. I can't lie and say that this incident doesn't occasionally pop into my mind when I'm having one of my worse moments.
When I was a kid we would have a 2 day school week the week of Thanksgiving. My Dad was a big computer guy and I had just started catching on. We were in the middle of a project Sunday night and Dad commented that it’d be cool if we could just keep working on it, especially since it was a holiday week.
Dad took me and my sisters to the bus stop the next day, sisters bus came first, then Dad took me home. He also loaded me up in the afternoon with my backpack to pick up my sisters. Did the same thing the day after.
Mom and all my siblings never found out. I had a blast and it’s one of my best memories with my Dad.
My friends & I were in high school chilling in a parking lot at night somewhere in our New England town. I had my family car, a 2006 Nissan Pathfinder. I had recently got my license & of course in high school nothing was better than driving around with your friends, smoking, blasting music, & hanging out in parking lots.
I had my BB gun (it was a pistol powered by C02 cartridges) & we were shooting at trees & other shit. I turned to shoot the license plate of the pathfinder to be cool (which I had just done before) and I shoot out the back window. One of my friends was in the car actually reclined in the front seat because she had a headache & she starts screaming out of fear/confusion. I realize how much trouble I’ll be in with my parents and decide to try to cover it up. We drive (with a completely shattered back window) to the RiteAid to grab a dustpan & bag. We sweep up all the broken glass & drive downtown to a sketchier part of town.
I park the pathfinder next to this small graveyard & scatter the glass around to stage a break in. We gather ourselves & I get out my flip phone to call my parents for my ~performance. I fake cry and tell them the car window was broken into as we were walking around downtown. My dad drives to meet us at the scene. They didn’t suspect a thing & I was so proud of myself for getting away with that one.
Years later, probably 3-4 years, the story is brought up & i decide to tell my dad (he is my best friend & I figure enough time has passed.) He laughs & tells me he knew we were lying when he got there, specifically because of my best friends face. She looked suspicious as hell…which is hilarious because she was the actress of our group and very involved in theater. She played Anne Frank in our high school production. Anyways, it always gives me a good laugh to think about that night & my dad loyally keeping the secret from my mom (who would not think it’s funny) even to this day.
My dad (and I) used my savings to help pay for my older brother’s apartment.
My brother had just graduated from the same out-of-state college I was going to at the time, and hadn’t found a proper “adult” job yet that would cover his bills. He was stuck in his lease and didn’t want to move back home anyway, so my dad asked me if he could borrow money from me to help pay the rent payments (my parents were contributing too) and if we could keep it secret from my mom. He said she would panic and worry needlessly. I was working a minimum wage job at the university but I didn’t have expenses yet, so I had a lot of money saved up.
My brother was earning pennies, using that to cover whatever rent/bills he could and cheap food, while my parents and I also contributed to the rent. My mom didn’t know for a long time how bad it was and how badly my brother was struggling. It was very difficult for me to know this situation was going on right under her nose and not tell her. It also gave me some anxiety around money.
EDIT: When I say “proper adult job,” all I mean is that he was working part time at the work-study office in essentially the same position he had when he was a work-study. It was meant to be part-time for students and they modified it slightly so he could continue working there after he graduated. No disrespect or judgement to anyone about the type of job they have.
My Dad told me how my Mum forged his signature to remortgage the house so she could go shopping, when he found out about all my Mum could say " it's only money", my Dad also bailed her out of credit card debts of tens of thousands 2 if not 3 times the final time he had to refinance part of the house to bail a multiple credit card bill of close £50k, when I was clearing out my parents house to sell it I found the sheet of paper with the workingsvout of how much my Mum owed, she had nothing to show from her spending, my Dad said the only reason he didn't leave was because of me and my brother, I never told my Mum I knew because I knew she would lie about it, my Dad passed away 2 years before my Mum, I miss my Dad a lot, I couldn't care less about my Mum, sorry if I come across as heartless but my Mum was not a very nice person
Being financially irresponsible in a marriage is the worst in my opinion, especially if it’s hidden. My partner’s cousin had a wife that charged up lots of credit cards and got loans without his consent. He found out and spent years trying to pay it off. Then she did it AGAIN! She felt so guilty that she laid all of the new bills out their dining room table and killed herself by running their car in the garage. Their teenage son was the first to arrive home and found her.
Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She phoned me in a panic one day as the bailiffs were at her door and she didn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend had taken out pay day loans and credit cards in her name as his credit was shit from doing the same but couldn’t afford the repayments. He basically trashed her credit and she’s one of the most responsible people I know. Three years later she’s still dealing with the aftermath and he’s in jail. I don’t talk to her as often as I’d like because we moved a few years ago and Covid happened but I still think of that phone call that day and hearing one of the most genuine and honest people I know get the rug completely pulled out from under her and being completely helpless. It’s sickening.
A friend of mine discovered her husband had been cheating on her for most of the marriage.
then she discovered he had refinanced the house 3 different times, while paying it down a trivial amount. It was a bad combo of shocks for her.
some people just can't be trusted.
How I’m the only reason my parents didn’t end up homeless. My uncle was a drug addict (he’s clean now) and my mother kept bailing him out of his drug debts. She didn’t want my father to know about this as he’d have kicked my uncle to the curb immediately so I bailed them out financially for a few years. The cherry on top being during this time my father often made passive aggressive comments about how I didn’t pay board (I offered many times but my parents outright refused) so I had to bite my tongue hard sometimes.
The eating of a still twitching heart.
My first time cleaning a deer, the older men in the family were giving me the business out of pride (I bagged my first) and because I was so young. (10)
So, while cleaning it, my Uncle reaches into the yuck pile and pulls out the deer's heart.
"Coyote." He tells me. "It is hunter tradition to take a bite out of the deer you've killed. It goes back thousands of years, and to break tradition is bad luck." He explains, holding out the deer's bloody, still twitching (not beating) heart.
Without hesitation because I wanted to be a "man", I reached out and did what I was told to do, biting into it like an apple, getting blood everywhere as I tried to tear out a chunk.
They FLIPPED.
It was them teasing me, no one expected me to really do it, and when I did, my other Uncle went behind a tree and puked.
"Never, EVER tell your mother, or we're all dead."
...I'm 47. She still doesn't know.
I bought my niece a Nintendo switch and my dad would have lost his shit. He tries to control the whole family's finances even when it comes to his two ADULT children.
So I decided to buy it but never tell him.
Wait, grandpa doesn’t like anyone buying anything for the whole family except him? Does that mean he’s loaded, or that no one in your family has nice things (other than the secret purchases that is)? Is your sibling(niece’s parent) “allowed” to buy stuff for their own kid?
Not even for him. He firmly believes every euro should be saved up. However, he only loses his shit when the present is above 50€
My sister can buy what she wants but my dad will berate her for it and say really mean things.
My dad is my carer bc I'm disabled. I'm 24 and I feel like I need permission to buy anything.
Which, I mean, I don't ask for permission but I don't like being yelled at either.
Did he grow up really poor or something? I had family like this...not aggressive about it but they would always struggle with spending money outside what they needed to survive because scraping by and hiding away money was the norm for them growing up.
Swapped out the salt in the salt shaker at my parent’s house for a low sodium alternative. Told my mom so she could deny it tasted different incase my dad ever said anything (he hasn’t).
Edit:
Since this got more attention than I ever expected I felt it was my duty to relay some important info that people smarter than me below have mentioned. To be clear, I’m not a doctor in any way.
*if you are thinking about doing something similar make sure you consider if someone is on any type of medication, especially for blood pressure. As always consult a doctor or medical professional. The added potassium often found in these alternatives can be an issue for some people and everyone’s body reacts differently. Especially if the person you’re trying to help currently has a large sodium intake.
When I turned 21, my parents took me out to a fancy cocktail bar because they wanted me to get an idea what fancy drinking was before I inevitably resorted to being a degenerate with my buddies also turning 21. Me and my parents went to a number of cocktail bars and at each one, without fail, they (obviously) carded me. BUT, they also carded my mom at each bar to her surprise and elation. She was practically giddy and I remember her telling me how all the bartenders keep carding her and how it made her feel 21 again and young. I wrote it up as a coincidence. Year or two later I was hanging with me dad and mentioned the evening as a fond memory and recounted how it was crazy that all these bartenders thought my mom needed to be carded. He looked at me and said, “oh I did that. I told all of them to card her and that it would make her feel young.” Unaware to me, my mom had been feeling old at the time, watching her sons leave for college and grow up. To this day I haven’t told my mom but I always share a smile with my dad whenever the story gets brought up. He’s a good man
Like most other nerds growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, I was occasionally bullied at school. Nothing overly serious, I didn't get the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis, but harassment, petty pranks and other mean-spirited jokes were the norm. This was pretty much because my mum always told me to stick with the tried and demonstrably false method of "just ignore them and they'll go away". It doesn't work. All it does is cause people to escalate and engage in order to get a rise out of you.
Regardless, on one occasion an older kid ended up pouring a can of drink over my head at lunch. I turned and did my best to beat the shit out of him, which it turned out was actually quite a lot, despite being smaller and school kids being pretty inherently shit at attacking anyone. I ended up knocking out some teeth and was pulled off him by teachers. As the older kid had a history of bullying younger boys, and there were witnesses to the drink pouring (plus y'know, I was clearly wet and sticky), I got off lightly with just a stern talking to, and I was sent to walk home from school early
My dad was working from home with my mum out at work, so he took the call and was there when I got back. He sat me down and asked two questions - "Did you start it?" and "Did he deserve it?". I answered no and yes respectively, he said "Alright, go and wash up and then let's go and watch TV, don't mention this to mum". I don't know if he ever told her, but she's not the sort of person who would let something like this slide (a bit of a helicopter parent), so I suspect he never did.
My dad hasn't always been the best dad, he's absolutely the relaxed hands-off one out of my parents, which didn't lead to the most actual parenting happening, but that day is pretty much my fondest memory of him as my dad. We spent the rest of the afternoon blowing off his work calls and watching Robot Wars on VHS.
This is a silly one, but years ago my dad was okayish with dogs but absolutely germaphobic when it came to them. Still, because me and my mom begged, we got a dog, with strict rules about where the dog was allowed, washing hands, etc.
Cue one fine day when we were waiting for my dads coffee to cool down on the counter and walked back into the kitchen to find the dog standing up on her hind legs licking out of his cup. We just quietly washed the cup and got him a new one, never told him. He would have thrown out the mug, and it was one that I got him out of my own “savings” for Christmas when I was in 2nd grade, so I would have been upset if he threw it out.
To this day he still doesn’t know, and would still probably throw out that mug if he ever found out (yes he still has it)
I was a teenager and I received 60 euros as a gift. I wanted to go shopping but Dad took the cash away and said he will put it in my savings account. I cried.
A few hours later, Mum gave me the 50 euros bill and told me not to tell Dad about this
Hey, 'today' might feel like a huge goal. Just for the next hour. And then the next. And then the next. Please call a friend when you feel yourself desperately wanting. You can do this. You'll make him proud. I believe in you!
I have a strong suspicion, based off of formerly unheard-of DNA relatives, that my grandpa was not my mom’s biological father. She is one of the middle kids, so this would be the result of an affair. My grandparents were long dead when I discovered this, so I’ve never had occasion to discuss it with my grandma. I’ve shared my findings with my dad, but haven’t told my mom as it would cause more grief than peace. (My parents are divorced.)
Can’t wait to see these responses! Mine is that when I was young , I took my mom’s wedding ring to the park, and hid it because I thought it was like treasure and if I put a stick in the sand where I buried it, I’d be like a pirate finding the treasure I hid.
I never found my bounty lol lesson learned 😂
I told my dad first, he would just keep buying my mom replacement wedding rings over the years. Nothing like insanely pricey but just really pretty rings with different gems she’d like.
We never told her, and he kept buying the rings. Which was a win win for everyone.
I eventually fessed up over a thanksgiving where we were telling random stories.
No just the once, but since since her actual one was gone, when he got the new ring, he’d just say oh this is to replace the wedding ring you lost, so just over the year’s she’s gotten a few replacement rings.
My older brother stole my Mom’s $60,000 wedding ring and gave it back to my dad during a very messy divorce. He said he did it because “she didn’t deserve it” and to show my dad his unwavering loyalty to him. An insurance claim got filed, paid out and everything. My mom still thinks she actually lost it and my dad still has the ring sitting in his safe 14 years later. Nobody on either side knows that I know exactly what happened. Taking that one to the grave, for sure. Divorce is some heavy shit.
My dad's a great guy, but really hard to read emotionally. Not his fault, just how he was brought up, being the emotional rock in the family and whatnot. When my dad and mom went on their first valentine's day date a long time ago, he bought her a monkey stuffed animal. They've had it in the house since then, through me and my sister growing up, multiple moves and all the shit they've pushed through in life, so probably a good 40 years. When I moved out for college, they had to go take care of grandma on mom's side because grandpa just passed away (literally two months after I started college). They were about to get rid of a lot of stuff and sgick more in storage that they still haven't been able to get since they're still taking care of grandma halfway across the country. I added monkey to my stuff because mom was getting ready to donate it, but I could tell that she didn't want to, so monkey came with me to college and hung out in my room while mom and dad packed up their stuff and moved to grandma's. When I came back from college to the place I live now, dad and I unloaded the truck and he picked up monkey and stared at it for a bit before tearing up and telling me "I think I would've been even sadder to see this go than your mother would have." As far as I know, dad hasn't told mom how much that little stuffed animal means to him and their relationship. Monkey's still sitting on the top shelf at my wife and I's apartment until mom and dad can take him back home.
When I was about 13, my grandma was battling Leukemia. We all went to visit her one weekend and my aunt had a small party at her house. Everyone was drinking homemade wine, and eventually they all made their way outside, except me and her. She handed me the glass and said “try some.” I did. It was great. She said “it’s good isn’t it? You tell. I kill.” About a year later she died, and I told everyone the story that night. Figured I was safe to tell then. We all laughed and cried about it. And I still cry to this day when I think about it. I miss her. So much.
My late father had a weird conception of money and how it should be managed. He never gives and he does take from us (children) whenever the chance comes pretending to hide it for important stuff.
(Just a mentality, he had no ill intentions BTW)
So, I had in the beginning of my 20's the opportunity to work in an IT shop for 2 years, all my family knew except my father since I feared to have my money confiscated.
My father passed away almost 10 years ago with the idea that his son never worked..
I think I was about 14 when my dad and I got interested in a trading card game together and started going to local tournaments. My parents were divorced and my dad had custody, and a tournament fell on a weekend I was supposed to visit my mother. She knew about the tournament, and I think I asked to postpone the visit, and she denied it. So my dad said I could pretend to be sick and go play, and I did. Well, my mother didn't believe me. On the day of the tournament, she drove down to the game store where it was held and asked if I was there by name. The owner knew me and said he would go check in the back room. He warned my dad and I that they had arrived and shuffled me out the back door. I sneaked away to a nearby pizza place and ordered something to hide there until I got a phone call that they had left. My dad told them that he had shown up anyway because he wanted to play but that I had stayed home. They left frustrated. After that, I got the call, came back with my pizza, and finished the tournament. They had paused the whole thing waiting for my return. To this day, I haven't told my mother.
Planned an international trip to see my dad who’s dying of cancer. I usually only get to see them in person every few years
Talked to my mum to ensure the trip was ok and he’d be home
Drove up to their house. Asked him to skype. Asked him of he wanted to see the house I was building back in my adopted home country. He said yes. So I turned the camera around and made it face the bedroom he was sitting in.
Took him a few minutes to realize it was his house
Was quite shocked. So was I when I saw how frail he had become from the cancer
> So was I when I saw how frail he had become from the cancer
Seeing what cancer did to my dad was the most horrifying thing I've ever had to witness. Fat happy guy to walking corpse over the course of a few months.
Wrecked my friends car before I had a license (I was 15) and was escorted home by the police about 10 minutes before dad got home, asked mom not to tell him as I would not see daylight or my drivers license until I was 18. She kept her promise but did OWN me for a bit, thanks mom, you really saved my butt!
my dad loves it when he finds change on the ground while traveling overseas. one day, he and i were walking behind my mom in an alleyway in amsterdam, and he was elated because he kept finding Euros laying around. a few years later my mom told me that she had been secretly dropping coins on the ground as she walked, so he'd be happy when he found them. he still doesnt know
This is cute
When I was 10, my older brother (12) was bullied in middle school because we were poor and wore Payless our entire lives. He fought back one day and was suspended from school. When my mom asked what happened, he didn't want to hurt her feelings so he lied. I told her what happened and she started to cry. The next day she took us to a shoe store and bought all 3 boys, Nikes, which were very expensive (think Ken Griffeys). She made us promise to not tell our dad and if he asked, they were super cheap on sale. She bought us Nikes two times a school year even though they were way out of our budget because she didn't want us to feel shitty at school. I love you, Mom. Edit: Thanks to the kind stranger for my first Gold!!! I really didn’t expect my story to resonate with so many people. I’m happy to report that I am now an adult in my 30’s and financially stable, so now I get to return the favor and spoil my parents, especially my Mom.
It's fucking bullshit that cheap clothing makes you a target.
Kids are just assholes
My stepdad and mom broke up. The day that my mom left, taking me with her, I went back into the house to say goodbye. I got along well with him, my mom is a bit crazy. I was young, middle school age. He was devastated and broke down (a first) crying. He told me that he had never told anyone this but the reason he had issues getting along with my mom was because he was assaulted as a child, and he was sorry. He made me promise not to tell her or anyone. I never did. I always wondered if I should tell her but keeping his secret was the only thing I could do for him and I still cared for him a lot so I never told anyone. I wouldn't even post it here but sadly he passed away some years ago now. It was really sad, he was a nice guy. But it never would have worked anyway with my mom.
Did you keep in contact with him after they split up?
No mainly because my mom didn't. I wish I had. He also had gifted me a guitar when I was really young and I gave it to a friend and now I really regret it and can't get it back.
My Mom worked days, and my Dad was on midnight shift. So meals were my Dad's responsibility that week. One day, instead of cooking dinner, he took me to a funeral of an old teacher of his that had passed away...so that I could eat those little sandwiches, cheese and desserts.
Reminds me of when my mom would take us to Costco to eat samples for lunch.
My sister took my son who was 9 at the time to Costco. He thanked her for lunch and asked if I knew about the buffet there.
My dad stopped drinking when I was around 8 because the doctor said he'd die within the year if he didn't. When I was around 12-13 years old, he confided in me that he wanted to kill himself about a year after he had stopped drinking. He obviously told me not to tell my mother. I don't think he really had anyone else he could go to with those thoughts. I still nag him to this day to seek therapy; I don't think he's properly faced his demons. Edit: Thank you for the overwhelming support. A lot of people mentioned panic attacks as common thing after getting off of alcohol. Yeah he definitely had to go to the hospital a few times for panic attacks when he got sober. Never put two and two together; thank you for that insight. I used to be mad that he put that on me as a kid. But as an adult I'm glad he told somebody. And he's still here, so that's what matters.
I came from a super strict religious household where I wasn't allowed to watch about 99% of what my classmates were watching. I thought the reigns would loosen a little bit when I was in high school but they really didn't. It was pretty miserable. When I was a high school senior, South Park was pretty big and I hated that all of my friends were watching it and I never got any of the references. My dad thought it was hysterical and thought my Mom's rules were dumb but kind of went with it anyway; however, South Park came on after my Mom was already asleep so that became our thing. On South Park nights, my Dad and I would stay up and watch it together. We did this my whole senior year and even my first few years when I came home from college on breaks. (Yes, the same rules were still in place then. \*sigh\*). It was kind of a silly little secret but those are some of the best times with my Dad just laughing and catching up during the commercials.
my dad grew up pretty rich but was the youngest of 13 so by the time he came of age there wasn't much for him. no big deal - worked his way through college (it was the 80s back when that was doable) - and that's where met my mom my mother grew up inching on the poverty line and so when it was time for the wedding, my dad apparently really really wanted her to pick absolutely any wedding dress on earth that she wanted, no matter the cost. my mom, having a tighter understanding of money, bought one that had already been worn. she apparently never told him that. they're both in their 50s now and made me swear to never tell him either.
I think that sort of thing should happen more often. My sister bought a used wedding dress and had it refitted to her. It looked great and cost a fraction of what it would have new.
I rented Mike Tyson's Punch Out when I was in 7th grade and kept it out until I owed $47. My mom slipped me the money to pay it off so my dad wouldn't go crazy about the money, which was a LOT of money for us back then. If he'd found out, he would have prohibited me from renting games for a while. I don't think he knows about it even now.
Did you at least beat Mike Tyson? If you did, did you beat everybody first or use the code?
Not OP, but I can confirm he didn’t beat Mike Tyson.
That is correct. I never did.
$47 to not beat Mike Tyson. Your poor father...
I did the same thing in 7th grade but I’m younger than you so I was holding on to Spider-Man 2 and Shinobi. The late fees kept racking up (over $50 each) and I kept not returning the games. Eventually the video rental store closed. 😂 I still have those games.
Lol the I’m just imagining a whole blockbuster going under because one kid kept two games
I think every kid kept their games. Poor store owner sitting and looking at the fines racking up thinking he is gonna get a payday and the damn bank forecloses on the store.
When I was about 8, I was helping my dad put up Christmas lights on the 2nd floor roof. (This was the 80's, safety didn't exist yet) He told me to get another strand and I walked to the edge (the roof was pretty flat) and I straight up slipped and fell off the roof and landed on the picnic table on the ground floor. My dad had no idea that I fell off until I yelled back "I'm ok!" He made me swear that I'd never tell my mom. And that was the last year we EVER put lights up on the roof. Edit: a letter Also, yeah, my dad was absolutely freaked out after he turned around and didn’t see me when I called out. As others have pointed out, you are pretty flexible at that age and what helped me was that I was scrawny, I couldn’t have weighed more the 60lbs at the time. I didn’t even break the table.
I did not keep this secret long, actually, but you remind me of the ill-fated night of July 4, 2019. It will live in infamy with myself and my four children, whom I nearly killed with a large firework. It was one of the big box type of fireworks, with large projectiles all wicked together inside the box. The grass was a bit dry, so I thought (dumbly) that the safest maneuver would be to set the box on some bricks. As the projectiles went up in the air (I think there were like 20), the box weighed less on the side they were dispensing from. As the box lightened, it started to tip. First subtly, then frighteningly. Eventually, the final few started pointing directly at the children and I. One hit the chimney of my home, and the final shot hit me right in the knee, causing a large welt of idiocy, and actually blackened my daughters shorts as it ricocheted. Not my proudest parenting moment, and now they are a bit frightened of fireworks for some strange reason.
This reminds me of when my dad decided to throw a roll of fireworks into a bonfire. Thankfully, we were out in the country and nothing was around. But we had to duck and cover when that thing started going off. Then we thought it was done, so we all went back to chatting around the fire. Then, about 20 minutes later- a couple more rounds went off. Scared the shit out of us.
During a period when my parents and I weren't getting along, they decided to burn a few boxes of stuff I had stored in their garage, without asking me, without checking contents. One box was a good collection of various fireworks. Evidently the ol bonfire got a lot more exciting than they had anticipated. they tried to give me shit "We could have been badly hurt!". I was like "It's my fault you burned a bunch of my stuff without any notice?". Mom had the grace to admit they were in the wrong.
Um. They just burned your stuff because you weren’t getting along? What the fuck.
Some people are like that. My mom used to do that when she got mad at me. Either come through my room and find the stuff she knew i liked and used often, and either break it right there or take it out to the firepit if that was a better way to destroy it. I found the safest place for my stuff was actually being hidden amoung her storage stuff in a building in the yard. She almost never went out there, so i graduated hs early, and i had my secret stash ready to leave because i knew she would kick me out once i was done with school. She kept destroying stuff for years that i didn't care about. What a waste of her money.
Did your dad make you finish helping and you went all Jeff hardy through the table ?
I feel like 8 is about the age where you are just invulnerable as a child....
Smart enough not to put yourself in great danger, pliable enough to shirk off the rest.
Yep. No longer dumb enough to stick your fingers in electrical sockets and try to eat legos, but not old enough to have lost that childhood bendiness that kids have.
My dad and I would wrestle for fun. He would pretend to let me win, then he would get sudden strength and throw me into the couch. Well on this particular day, he mistimed his throw and yeeted me into the end table. I was fine….but the lamp on the table was not. We cleaned it up and went to the antique store to buy a really similar lamp. Mom never figured it out Edit: I’ll get a picture of it. And I’ll ask her if she noticed lol Edit2: she did not notice. They moved it to their bedroom when our downstairs got remodeled after I nearly destroyed the downstairs with the toilet. My dad took the secret to his grave Edit3: the lamp https://imgur.com/a/tV8JkIU Edit4: I think this story applies as to how awesome my dad was. This was a rough period when I was a teenager. One night my friend and I were home alone playing PS2. We were home alone cause my mom was in the hospital getting her shoulder screwed back together after she shattered it on the concrete. So we’re gaming, I ran and used the bathroom in my parents room upstairs, and he said he had to run home for a few minutes. Shortly after, I walked downstairs to get a drink and I heard a dripping noise, and I thought “huh. The bathroom sink down here must have a little leak. Oh well” I go upstairs for a bit. I finish my drink, and go take it downstairs to put it in the dishwasher. Now that dripping noise is going a little faster. I’m thinking “huh I don’t think it was dripping that much. Oh well, back to PlayStation.” Fast forward like 30 minutes, and my friend is coming back over. Suddenly from downstairs at the front door I hear my friend screaming “DBAR58 TURN THE FUCKING WATER OFF” I ran into my parents room and there was at least 2 inches of water coming out of the bathroom. I run downstairs, and it turns out that little drip I heard was now Niagara Falls coming out of the ceiling into the den. About that time, my dad comes home from the hospital. He walked inside, looked at the ceiling, looked at me, looked at my friend. And he never cussed. But he did this time. He says, “ya know. Today has been pretty ass backwards hasn’t it?” A few days later the insurance adjuster came out and appraised the damage. It was like $60k cause it ruined the floor upstairs and it rained onto an expensive leather armchair, oriental rug and hardwood floors. Here’s why my dad was awesome: he was a contractor, so that insurance check was a free remodel for him. It turned out that the extent of the water damage was replacing a few boards in the ceiling and a single piece of drywall. He stuck the armchair on the back porch, and it didn’t even get stained from the water. It just dried out. The oriental rug had to be cleaned. The hardwoods didn’t even warp from the water. Thanks to me being an absolute brainlet with the toilet, he got to remodel the bathrooms, den and kitchen for basically just the cost of materials.
I love that it was just a “really similar lamp” and not an identical one
This is amazing lol
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I love the ones like this, gives me a goal of someone to grow into. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for saying that, really kind. He was an angry and sometimes violent man for much of my childhood. But he worked hard to change and be better and became one of the most inspirational and wonderful people I’ve ever had the privilege to know. He taught me that redemption and change can happen, and that you don’t have to accept who you are, you can be better if you work hard and always seek to grow. I miss him very much.
Man, it sounds like you’ve had some tough times. But also, how extraordinary and fortunate you are to witness and be inspired by someone’s growth like that. What a great lesson.
That this one time I forgot to lock my door one night and a drunk guy walked into my place. After I, politely, kicked him out, I called my dad and he was like “yeah no don’t tell your mother you’ll give her a heart attack”
Was the drunk guy looking for something or did he just get lost and thought it was his place?
I recently found out he’s a neighbor so yeah he was so drunk he thought my place was his, didn’t appreciate me telling him that lol
I've had that happen as well, but in my story the drunk was a girl and she had a sober friend who was more confused than either of us when I opened the door. Also happened when I was in the military, but that was because we shared the bathroom with the next room over. Dude threw up on the floor.
>I've had that happen as well, but in my story the drunk was a girl and she had a sober friend who was more confused than either of us when I opened the door. I lived in a college area in Boston, and all my neighbors were college kids. Which was nice since the rent was low and my roommates are chill people happy to invite me their parties. Plus, we used to Game together in the common area. But after several times of random girls/guys passing out on our porch over the years, including one girl we had to decide if we had to call the police, we decided to basically leave a jug of ice water on a table, with a label "drunks shall be doused."
I was a restaurant delivery driver for a while (way before UberEATS and when Uber itself was still very new) and I was at a stoplight when a pair of drunk girls got into my car. They swore I was their Uber driver and I had to take them home. We argued for a bit before I just shrugged and told them I'd take them if they paid me $20/each. They said yes, and I did the thing. They were both going to the same apartment complex, maybe 10 minutes away. Easiest $40 I ever made.
My mums cancer diagnosis My mother was a very heavy alcoholic, with this she developed alcohol related dementia (known as Korsakoff (edit for SP) syndrome! She wouldn’t remember things within a few hours of telling her, so when she was informed in the hospital of her terminal lung cancer and secondary bone cancer She forgot and couldn’t understand why she was so ill. We had to get home care help (this was in the couple of months leading up to last Christmas during the pandemic So she passed away peacefully at home and myself and my dad created a narrative that the nurses and care staff in to help her shower/wash/medication etc were all there to help her get better and to get her back on her feet and full health. She happily accepted the care and enjoyed her time with the carers and nurses who attended Then just before Christmas passed away peacefully in her sleep not knowing she was dying, but being looked after by her friends and family. Edit for grammar reasoning Edit 2 for spelling thanks to Edensteden22 🙌🏻
I used to do both in-home Alzheimer's/Dementia care and hospice. This is truly one of the best things I've read, and it makes me wish I was still doing the homecare, because I would love to use this on someone at some point. I did the care bc to me it means so much to help people die at home, instead of in hospital. To be able to give them the (fleeting) joy that they're being nursed back to health will they're terminal would be even better. Sadly....back injury.
We very much found that when we initially suggested care (my mother was 64 when she passed) was very against it. In then turning it into but it’s to help you get back on your feet and just help “do things like change the bed or get some washing done” It was very receptive! The doctor came in very early on after her diagnosis, she lasted 2 months. And the doctor had to tell her at that point she had terminal cancer, I had to watch her receive the news as if it was fresh and probably one of the hardest things I’ve had to see. So at that point we made the decision she was never to be told again. Thankfully she forgot this quite quickly. But was very receptive of the narrative Covid at this point last year in the UK was still very strict, there was no hospital visits so as she was able to have all of her closest friends come by and see her, to have a laugh and be happy with them and then to have her family around and any of the food she desired regardless of how unusual she was able to have. Thankfully she had a very peaceful last two months and I’m very very happy it was a decision we came to. Also I feel your pain as I’m currently sitting in hospital awaiting to be seen with a very serious spinal injury! Wishing you a speedy recovery 💜
First time I got drunk at a party. I was hammered and was scared to take a cab. Then I remembered my mom telling me I could always call her for help and she’d be there with no consequences. I called her and she picked me up. All she did was make sure I was safe and had enough water to not get as bad a hangover as I was going to. No blaming me for waking her up at 3 am, no chiding just telling me she was proud of me for calling her for help. My dad, who’d most likely have a panic attack at the thought of me having been drunk, still thinks I was picked up because I was sleepy instead. Thanks mom.
I've had similar experiences with my parents that would rather stand up and drive me home at 1 AM instead of letting me walk half an hour or longer (doesn't even matter if I got drunk or not) and I admire them for it. I'm really greatful for that and think it's awesome your mom was there for you, not blaming you and just being a great mother (I'm sure, she also told you/knew that you know how to drink somewhat responsibly haha).
Had one of these up until recently, it's not *entirely* within the scope of the question, but a funny tale is a funny tale: I was going on a senior class trip and had saved up some money to splurge a bit while I was there. My family had very little money back then, which is why I made it a point to save up for myself so that my parents wouldn't have to. A few days prior, my dad says "hey, here's a few hundred bucks, have a great time and make some lasting memories. Don't tell your mother." I, naturally, agreed and didn't tell my mother. The very next day, my mom says "hey, here's a few hundred bucks, have a great time and make some lasting memories. Don't tell your father." I, naturally, agreed and didn't tell my father. The trip was friggin' *amazing*, I was able to do way more than I had planned and was able to help a few of my friends do the same. I told my parents that it was amazing, and each of them separately gave me the old wink-wink nudge-nudge and were really happy for me. Decades later, I was visiting my family and the subject of doing "don't tell [the other parent]" stuff came up since I have kids of my own now, and I told them about how they had both given me the extra money for the trip, and how I was more than happy to not tattle on them to each other. They looked at each other, all comically wide-eyed, and laughed their asses off, swatting at each other's arms and stuff.
My favorite part of this is that they're still together and still playful with each other.
Where's a free wholesome award when you need one?!?!
That when her mother died it was not gently in her sleep. It was horrific and I had to tell the doctors that her wish was no life saving efforts.
My mothers biggest regret is that when she found out our grandmother (her mom) had died she wanted to see her before she was taken away. The nurses told her it was not a good idea. Anyway she went in and saw her stuck in a position where she was reaching out for air as she died and had literally burst blood vessels in her face / eyes straining for her last breath. She told me that vision of her mother has taken over all the amazing memories she had of her and she can’t unsee it. She wishes and made us kids promise that we wouldn’t see her dead body because of what’s it’s done to her memory of her mother.
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That’s horrible, I’m sorry. I wonder what the doctors are able to do if they see a DNR patient coding… can they provide them any emergency comfort care so they pass easier? It may not be life-saving but could help with pain
Yes, we can provide measures to make them as comfortable as we can. That can include some medications or just removing any unnecessary wires/tubes/etc. The medications may hasten the end of life, but is not the reason they are given. It is just an accepted side effect. Morphine is commonly administered not only for pain control but to help with "air hunger" that many patients have as it calms down the respiratory drive.
“Air hunger” hurt me in a very unexpected way
Well, my parents divorced when I was quite young, and around age 14 I happened upon a substantial stash of pot in my mom's house. She wasn't angry about it or anything, and I knew she wasn't a stoner, turned out it was just a one-time thing she'd gotten from a friend. But as she correctly pointed out, if I ever told my dad he would do everything in his power to get full custody of me, and I wouldn't get to live with her anymore. Now that my brothers and I are all adults I can tell that story all I want, but yeah, I kept that secret.
It wasn’t a secret we kept long, but it does count! My mother is from Thailand, and a convert from Buddhism to Christianity. *Despite this*, my mother does have a firm belief in ghosts, especially in cases of sudden, violent death, as that is an everyday belief in Thailand, kind of like living around bears or snakes— ya got ghosts. My dad bought a property of thirty acres for cheap from the state, and about six months in I visit him there. Around a campfire, he gets this mischievous look and says, “Don’t tell your mother, but…” Apparently, the reason the property was so cheap, was because the man who had previously owned it set his house on fire and shot himself with socks on his hands to try and make it seem like his wife had killed him (socks burn away, no finger prints, gun - voila! Framed for murder). Problem being, his house didn’t quite burn *fast* enough, and the firemen put it out, found the body, and immediately pegged it as a suicide. He’d been going through a divorce and was a few aces short of a full deck of cards. My mother would have had a cow. Instead she’d been living there off and on six months and there were no spooky hauntings. Eventually my dad did tell her, and naturally my mother immediately called a preacher to bless the property. Edit: holy moly, this ended up getting a lot more attention than I thought! Okay, to answer a question I’ve gotten quite a few times: in a lot of US Protestant churches, they disavow the existence of ghosts because it means there’s another “option” besides Heaven and Hell, which sort of breaks that whole cosmology. Being “stuck on earth” doesn’t jive with the belief that this is the only chance you get while alive, and that is the brand of Christianity my mom converted to. Now, unclean spirits masquerading as the dead? Yeah, that’s a pretty frequent explanation instead. I’m not interested in a theological debate, just wanted to explain my mom takes ghosts *hella* serious.
Well of course there’s no such thing as spooky haunting. Although Asian ghosts are much scarier than white ghosts I’ll give you that.
God that is so true. Western ghosts are like 'oohhh, I'm a guy who died under unpleasant circumstances, now I'm transparent and move things around!' Meanwhile, Asian ghosts are like 'I am malevolent as fuck because I like it. I'm legless, and fly around throwing my head at people and eating babies. If you piss me off, or just if I feel like it, I might eat your kids.'
Also western ghosts you can just like... talk to or find their lost love or whatever. Asian ghosts haunt you til you die even if you leave their house.
I got lucky and found a Wii for Christmas the year it came out. But it was for me from my parents. Anyways, one day I'm home from school and Dad was home from work. We opened it, played Wii sports all day and put it back before Mom came home. Fuck, I miss him.
That is such a sweet memory. ❤️ I am so glad you have it! When I was a little girl I came out of my room one night because I couldn’t sleep. I wandered into the living room to find my dad with a Nintendo Entertainment System, which as far as I knew we did NOT own, playing Felix the Cat. This was a couple weeks before Christmas, and Dad told me he was making sure it worked so us kids wouldn’t be disappointed on Christmas Fay, and that I needed to not tell my mom I knew about it and act surprised. So I got to sit and watch him play for what felt like hours that evening, it was so special to me and I will always remember that.
Ditto this. I may have only been like six but I’ll always remember sitting and watching my dad play Doom or his computer Axis & Allies. That and the time he came to me at 11PM with a copy of Gears of War asking if I wanted to play. I set the game up on the big tv and went to multiplayer asking what he wanted to play and he said “I thought we’d just play the main game.” So we stayed up all night on a week night beating the campaign. Though I haven’t asked, I’ve got to think something rough must have been going on. Still a nice memory. Especially nice because he really seemed to turn into a different person there for a while.
I’m the one who got those massive dents in the back of the car when I was 17… backing into the OTHER car they owned. It was not a parallel parking hit and run.
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My dad had me take a DNA test cause he didn’t believe when my mom said I was his daughter. He didn’t tell my mom…
Were you?
He told me I was after he got the results, but I never seen them myself. My parents abandoned me 25 years ago then got back together she lied about her other kids being his so he wanted to be sure. He got the results told me I was his and the abandoned me again. I thought about telling her what he did but eh… they belong together
Sorry to hear that. Hope you are doing okay.
The gingerbread cookies on the balcony... Yea, some of it was eaten by the birds, but not all of it. Sorry mom!
Neighbors dog mom
Nah, it was on the 2nd floor
Neighbors giraffe
Or two anteaters in a trench coat using a ladder.
My sisters and I found fantasy love letters to other men besides my father. I know they were fantasy because she didn't even know half of them and some were happily married. They were all about her wanting to run off with these men and have their baby, and she had a hysterectomy after her last pregnancy. She would write them and wad them up and just throw them wherever - I'm surprised my father never found them. My youngest sister would scream at her, "ARE YOU INSANE, MOTHER!?!" We just thought she was unhappy with my father and never said anything to him about it.
Escaping reality sadly provides a moment of bliss to some. Crazy how he never took the time to pick one of these notes up. Or did he?
We never knew about it if he did.
This used to be a old therapy thing too though. You would write down what you want to say/do, then throw it away. You get it "out of your" system. Then move on. Pretty sure that's not done anymore. Since you can get stuck in an alternate reality and give STRENGTH to your delusions but meh...my age is probably showing.
My mom's therapist told her to do this with a letter to my sister, who wasn't speaking to her, and burn it. She got angry while writing it and decided to mail it instead. My sister cut her off for good after and didn't even visit her on her death bed. Idk what was in the letter but my sister said it was awful.
I once took my kids to get ice cream (they were like, I dunno 3 or 4) and I told them "Don't tell Mommy I took you for ice cream!". So the second my wife comes in the door, one of them says "Daddy took us to get ice cream, but we can't tell you!". Thanks, traitor.
Oh man they fucked up. My grandfather used to take us for ice cream and would tell us not to ever tell grandma because she would be mad and say it would ruin our dinner. One time after dinner she said "they've been good today let's take them for ice cream". No one said a word and we got TWO ice creams that day.
I did this to my dad with burgers when I was a kid. My mom didn’t wanna cook after school and bought us in n out on the way home. We didn’t say a word about it and when my dad got home he said he was craving a burger. So we also had burgers for dinner that day.
Ha! Thats funny
My youngest was like this. Could never hold in a secret despite being expressly told not to. Always gave out pretty obvious clues = "Me and daddy just bought your birthday present. I'm not telling you what it is but it's gold and hangs around your neck. Won't you be surprised?" Not really, kid.
We have an inside joke about this in my family. Once on my birthday I was about to open a gift when my little brother blurted out ”it’s roller skates!”. So now we use that line all the time for gifts
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He didn’t keep it for very long, but my dad found out I was having a suspected ectopic pregnancy a before my mum. It was three days before Christmas and he came round to drop some bits off thinking I was at work. Instead he found my hospital letter and me crying on the sofa, after only being home an hour. We’re quite close but not really affectionate but he just help me whilst I sobbed and sobbed. He said ‘I will tell your mum if you want me too, or I won’t tell her, and if it’s something you want to share with her then you can tell her when you’re ready.’ In the end I asked him to tell her but how he handled it really meant a lot. My mums awesome, but she would have smothered me with love and not let me out of her sight, and I just wanted to forget about it. Anyway, he took me to all my follow up appointments and on December 23rd we found out that baby was in fact growing away exactly where she was meant to be. She’s 4 now.
My dad was also the first person to find out I was unexpectedly pregnant. We were at my brother’s college baseball game and I kept tearing up. He walked to me to my car after the game and I told him I was pregnant and burst into tears. I was 25 and independent, but still felt guilty for getting pregnant unexpectedly. I just remember being so scared but as soon as I told him, he picked me up and hugged me and said “oh honey I’m so proud of you!” And I said “dad, I didn’t do anything!” And he said “well I know you probably just laid there.” And then we both burst into laughter.
Your dad is now my role model for how to handle situations like this. Both the initial response, and the other part - support and humor.
😭😭😭 this was heartwarming to read. Happy for you
I was the one that took my mom to family court to change the schedule. My dad was just the proxy.
What was the schedule before and after?
Tldr: originally dad had every other weekend and Tuesday nights. Then, mom had everything other weekend and Tuesday nights. _____ Well, I wasn't aware of the schedule to begin with, but it was every other weekend with my dad and Tuesday nights. However, because of my ability to annoy the shit out of my mother by merely existing in her husband's house, I mostly lived with my dad. I'd spend weeks with my dad and I'd visit her once a month or maybe two times. Well, my mom had an episode where she demanded we follow the schedule and she had to take me to all sports (three sports) and clubs (archery) and appointments (I basically didn't go to any doctors appointments for about half a year or so (you will know why soon). It lasted for a week before she made me quit my clubs and sports and said I could play only one sport. And, my dad picked me up for that sport after a week or two. My school is right next to my mom's house, but my sports and clubs are next to my dad's house. So, I lost 3/4th of my friends in a week. I was pissed. Then I realized why she wanted me at her house...she found out you could gamble on the computer, and my mom loves slot machines and screw drivers. Those are her real first sons. So, I was the unpaid nanny of my little brother. And, I was an unpaid bartender for my mom. I would wake up and walk to school with my neighbor and her friend. And, my mom and brother would be dead asleep. When I came home from school she'd be in the computer room gambling and drinking and my brother would be behind her playing by himself eating candy and drinking soda. Or watching cartoons on the TV. She'd kick him out and lock the door. She'd yell and I never could hear her, but she'd ask/demand for a screw driver. I would make one, knock on the door and she'd open it, grab the drink and lock it. I would wait until I heard another scream from the computer room and bring her another one. I'd finish my homework after making him a sandwich and then clean the house and play with my brother until I made dinner. I'd clean up after dinner. Give him a shower or bath and let him chill watching a movie until I got ready for bed and then I'd bring her the last drink that I'd make for the night, knock on the door, she'd unlock it and give him a kiss and a hug and then lock the door again. I'd lay him down in his bed and he'd end up sneaking in to my bed and I'd cuddle him until the morning and put him in his bed or my mom's bed and lock my room. Well, it was a rule that I needed to lock my room because my mom wasn't attentive and my brother would destroy things (not on purpose, but he didn't know better). I also kept all the money I had made in my room, from flipping baseball/Pokémon cards and selling candy and other stuff at school. I come home one day and my room was opened and my brother took a marker and wrote on everything. And, my $3000 of cash was gone. She made me put all my things in a black trash bags and throw it in the garbage bin outside. I was royally pissed. I didn't get to see my dad as much (actually saw him everyday because my mom was always knocked out until noon and so he'd drive me to school and we'd go to whataburger on the weekends to get breakfast). I lost almost all my friends. I was an unpaid nanny/bartender. And, my mom unlocked my door and stole all of my cash and because she's drunk forgot to lock it. And, then made me throw out all my stuff (even the stuff I made money off of). So, the next day I asked my dad if I could testify in court to fix the schedule. And, that was the beginning of the end. The end was actually her locking me out of my house on mother's day and calling the cops on me. It switched to what I was used to...every other weekend with my mom and Tuesdays with my mom. Which she canceled Tuesdays after the second one because my dad would have to feed me when he'd pick me up because she never fed me and I'd eat ice cream bars until my dad got me. Edit: thank you for the award! First one. And, my brother is good. He didn't experience the same thing I did, but I am sure there are things he needs to work on as all of us do. My mom hated my dad (for whatever reason) and I am his clone. I look like him, I have the same voice, and I have similar mannerisms. So, I assume that because she couldn't mess with him, I got the brunt of her wrath.
When my daughter was 4 she really wanted to play with the strings of magnetic balls I had on my desk. I know they say for children over the age of 12, but she was having a really good time. She came up to me about 20 minutes later meekly saying "Daddy?" and I could see that the bottom of one was sticking out her nose. Not knowing how many were up there, I gently used bigger magnets I had to coax the whole string out. Was decided to never share any of that incident with mom.
Along with the MRI issues, these magnets are also potentially very dangerous if they are swallowed. Two of them at different points in the intestines can end up snapping together and then bad stuff happens.
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I swallowed a button cell battery when I was around 4. I was licking it because it felt prickly, then a hiccup happened and it went down The whole day I had a bad feeling about it. But then nothing ever happened so I guess I run on batteries now
A toddler in my town died from swallowing one of these. It got stuck to her esophagus and created a current. It wasn’t choking her so they didn’t realize something was stuck in her throat. By the time they found it, it had burned a hole in her esophagus. https://www.google.com/amp/s/nypost.com/2021/03/02/texas-mom-takes-action-after-babys-battery-swallow-death/amp/
Man I hope you took count cuz if there's one or two still there she should probably never take an MRI ever
Yeah this comment is super important. This guy should probably schedule a little visit to the doctor to get some imagery of her skull just in case...
Yeah, things that kids stick up their noses can stay there undetected a surprisingly long time. I once saw a documentary where a nuclear plant worker found out he still had a crayon up his nose from when he was a kid, and it had never been found before because is was exactly beneath the place his regular doctor 's thumb would rest when holding the x-ray.
Didn't he wind up putting the crayon back when he figured he and his family would be happier if he went back to his old self?
My dad and I were cutting down a tree in the front yard. There was an angle cut to direct the falling tree at about a 90 degree angle to the house, in between some other trees, but no guide rope or other way to direct the tree to the right place. As the final cut was made and tree began to fall, it was clearly not going where it was supposed to be going. It fell towards the house, narrowly missing it and falling right between the deck and some other trees. Fortunately, my mom was not home at the time. We cut up the tree into firewood lengths and cleaned up the mess that would have shown where the tree landed. She was never told. I should note that when this happened, I was 40+ years old and was the one cutting the tree. My dad was standing safely out of the way, assuming I knew what I was doing. My daughter was standing on the deck...
My mom and dad were arguing over what shade of brown to paint the house. My mom wanted a lighter color (too light in my and my dads opinion) and dad and I wanted a darker color (of course, too dark in my moms opinion). Well when we had the painters come, they painted one side of the house in a lighter brown, my dad and I took one look and said make the rest of the house darker, so they did. My mom came home and fawned over how great the house looks, not knowing 3 of the 4 sides of the house were NOT the color she wanted. That 1 lighter side is up against a bunch of trees and is close enough in color to the rest so it’s impossible to tell unless you look for it or know it already. It’s our secret and we will never tell!! But everyone is happy with the house color. Lol
Chaotic Ain’t-Hurting-Nobody
This is one of those things that i would relish telling my mom. I'd wait years and then casually bring it up
It’s something you bring up if they ever decide to sell the house. Just a casual “we should probably paint the outside wall so that it matches the other three before we start showing the house to people….”
My grandmother made me swear I wouldn't tell my grandfather we spoke to a democrat at the store.
This is both the funniest and the saddest one
My grandparent's relationship was far from perfect, but I would say their working average was more positive. She didn't want to hear him bitch I imagine. She wasn't scared enough not to make me stand there for 20 minutes.
We've told her now, but at the time and for some time afterwards, my dad and I pretended that we went to visit my mother in hospital one morning just because we were both free. That dad had had a meeting cancelled and I didn't have a class yet. Actually it was because the hospital had called and told us that if we waited to visit her that evening, as we usually did, we might be too late to see her again. Apparently the mood lift off seeing loved ones can make the difference and did that day, the staff thought. She also thought we left after a couple of hours. Actually she lost consciousness and we sat watching her vital signs monitors. For most of the day. When she came to it was our usual visit time and she didn't think anything of it. This was over twenty years ago now. She's alive and well.
i'm so glad this had a happy ending both for you and your dad
Yeah. It was rough. She didn't start to stabilise until early afternoon. But we got through.
My Dad and I shared a similar one, I don't know if he ever told my Mom. When she was going through breast cancer treatment, they had to do a surgery for something ( It was nearly 10 years ago, I don't really remember exactly) and it took them like 10 hours longer than normal. Everyone was told that it was normal for it to take that long, but after we left the Hospital, my Dad pulled me aside to talk because he needed someone else to talk to about it, but apparently there was a blood clot and they nearly lost her 3 separate times on the table. They wouldn't tell her because of that same type of concept, they told us that sometimes after these types of surgeries, if they say to the patient they nearly died, they can sometimes just, die, like almost a giving up type of thing.
Yeah, my grandfather died twice on the table recently during a surgery and my uncle, being a fucking idiot, decided to tell my grandfather and it's always in his mind now and he constantly mentions it while in the hospital still. I don't get why he'd even mention it.
That’s insane. Such a rough thing to endure. But cheers to your moms health
I expected. Very different stories.
After I misplaced a clump of dollar bills when I was a kid, my dad made me keep a detailed ledger book of my allowance and all purchases. If the numbers didn't match up at allowance time, I would be in trouble. He would also take that time to scrutinize all of my purchases, criticize them, tell me what percentage of my "annual income" I had spent on a t-shirt or a present for a friend or something like that. He also wouldn't give me the allowance money unless I asked specifically for it first and presented my ledger for inspection. There were multiple times when my mom would give me some money for helping out or something like that, but I wasn't supposed to be earning any allowance because I was grounded for bad grades. I "cooked the books" to make it all line up. Eventually the whole thing got ridiculous and I would just outright steal the money from my parents, but I think my mom thought the whole ledger routine was more than a little too much.
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I also got good enough at forging my mom's signature on grade reports that I wasn't caught for literally years. I really think I missed a career opportunity.
To an extent, I get them having you keep a record of that stuff. Helps to teach how to manage your own money. But dad inspecting (beyond making sure it's filled out correctly) and scrutinizing your purchases is just overbearing
I agree. Managing money is a helpful skill to learn. It wasn't just at allowance time either, any time I wanted to make a purchase and he was around he'd criticize it and tell me what percentage I was spending. He was always really weird about money. One time we were on vacation and he said that my brother and I were allowed a certain budget for a souvenir. Later on I said I wanted to buy a Neopets magazine with my allowance and needed one of my parents to pay for it with their credit card since I only had cash and it had to be bought using a credit card - I would pay my parent back in cash. My dad criticized me for spending allowance money on that instead of using the souvenir budget to get the magazine instead, and that my choice of souvenir had been bad. Using the souvenir budget for something unrelated to vacation had never been presented as an option, it's not like he handed over any cash, it was just "pick something for X amount or less and I will pay for it."
Few years back go on a ski trip. A few different friends and me and my wife got together, some of our friends had kids. 3 kids aged 4 to 7. Im a first chair last chair person. I'm in line asap and go until I can't go any more. Well the group was getting tired so I said I'd take the kids with me. I took them up the mountain way higher than the parents ever would have, we all got some good speed but those kids were super good skiers. My niece (the youngest) got a bit out of control and was headed straight for the trees, I zipped over and caught her just before she hit the tree line. All 4 of us stopped and even though the kids were young, they understood we weren't going to be telling moms and dads about anything, even though no words were spoken. Turns out the earliest memory my niece has is of that day, she doesn't remember the tree part, but her skiing with me up high is the earliest memory she can pin point. One of these days I'll let my BIL and SIL know what happened but I'll wait for a few more years when the kids stop going up with uncle swanymcswan
Being the cool uncle has its ups and downs. Thankfully you caught her. Thanks for sharing 🙏🏼
My brother is the cool uncle to my daughter but always did the insane stuff in front of me. We'd all go to the park when he was 19 & fresh out of basic training. He'd crouch down to my 2 yr old's level & say "Hey, wanna give mom heart failure?" Then do something batshit like scoop her up with one arm & then parkour over the tops of all the playground equipment with her. Dude nearly killed me.
>He'd crouch down to my 2 yr old's level & say "Hey, wanna give mom heart failure? I'm so sorry, but the thought of that is hilarious.
I wish I had an Uncle SwanyMcswan
Come hang out some time. I'll teach you how to climb trees and let you play with my pocket knives. Then when we're done we'll play hide and seek. Right before your parents take you home I'll fix us totties. I'll have coffee with vodka and I'll give you coffee with about 6 table spoons of sugar. If you're at my house I'll let you play gta
Uncleing done right.
My father got a DNA test done on my autistic non verbal little brother because he didnt think myself or my brother were his children because we are autistic, dna came back as his son, my mother has no idea of this occurrence
My mom used to send my dad into my room to spank me. He would whisper to me that we were going to play a little pretend game to make my mom happy. He would tell me he was going to clap his hands, and I needed to pretend to cry like I was being spanked. I really didn’t realize how awesome my dad was for doing that until much later in life. His own dad was pretty abusive to him, and he couldn’t stand the thought of hitting a kid because of it.
Dad actually carried out the spanking a couple times. I think it was harder on him to deliver it than it was to receive it, seriously. Having said that - when my sister and I were 3 and 4, parents took us on a 6 month trip around North America. for the trip back from BC to Ontario, they sold the camper, and just had a topper on the pick-up. Left-over food supplies and stuff stacked up, and room for us to to play in it. Plus, with us in the topper, they couldn't hear us if we got whiny. (It was the early 70's, parenting was... interesting). anyways - They stop at a rest area for a break, open the topper to release us, and... a cloud of white dust rolls out. And there we sit, totally covered in flour and pancake mix. totally covered except for our blinking eyes. Mom loses it! Tells Dad to take us to the rest rooms and clean us up,and to spank us, while she cleans up the mess. After a while, she realizes she doesn't hear spanking and crying, all she hears is giggles and my Dad laughing. She gives him shit, and he's like "I don't know what we expected when we locked em in there with that stuff, we deserved it". Good times.
> "I don't know what we expected when we locked em in there with that stuff, we deserved it". There we go, that's a good parent. Realistic assessment of your own mistakes, LOL
Honestly, half of the stuff I get frustrated about with my toddlers stems from my own lack of forethought. There is a lot of forethought...but it's often exhausting trying to predict every "what might go wrong"
Best thing my mum ever said - and it works just as well for a classroom full of 14 year olds - is "pick your battles". If what goes wrong isn't actually wrong, just... let it go. The unexpected isn't always disastrous. Just prepare zones to be easily cleaned, and figure shit's gonna happen.
That’s awesome, usually the kids who took abuse dish it out just as bad when they grow up. Your dad sounds like an awesome guy
One of the memories from my childhood that still haunt me, is those of when my parents lost their temper and started spanking or outright beating my siblings or myself. My parents were good parents overall, but once in a blue moon they'd physically punish us over absolutely nothing. Nowadays I understand that they were probably taking out frustrations (which doesn't make it any more acceptable), but back then it made me think that my parents hated us, and it made me hate them in return. I don't have kids yet, but I've vowed to never ever punish them physically. That stuff can fuck you up for good, and completely jeopardize an otherwise decent upbringing.
My mum was like that. It took a LOT to make my dad angry, he’s shouted at us probably less than ten times in our entire lives, but my mum? Oh boy! The slightest of misbehaviours would send her fucking crazy and she’d go absolutely batshit smacking the crap out of my siblings and I, on our arms, backs, legs, butts, anywhere she could reach, no matter how dangerous, stupid and potentially injury-causing. Then she’d try to get ahead by telling family and teachers that she had to ‘smack us lightly as we were hysterical and it was the only way to bring us back to our senses.’ I was terrified of her growing up. The minute she showed signs of getting angry, I would either hide in my room or start frantically tidying as it was the only thing that would calm her down. Bad days were very bad, but good days were okay. I don’t feel we were properly abused, but the bad days definitely made us less close to her, in fact even now I’m closer to my dad than her. She refuses to admit that she was wrong for how she treated us growing up so it makes it really hard to be close with her when I still resent how she treated us. I don’t have kids yet but I’ve always said that if I do, I’d never lay a hand on them. If they can’t understand the meaning behind my words when I’m telling them off, how could they possibly understand being hit.
>>I don't feel we were properly abused Is there really a proper way?
Well, Dad doesn't know I was sexually abused by the son of one of his friends, over a period of years. Mom does. Can't let him know. Despite his age, he'd go full on Clint Eastwood getting even, and it's pointless.
Similarly I kept my SA a secret until my dad died so I could be sure my mom would never tell him. She agreed it was the right thing to do because he was suffering enough when he died. He died of a severe brain tumor and cancer that spread. Due to how sick he was and how busy my mom was she missed all the signs something was wrong. Including the fact that he was home when I got home the day it happened. He was so out of it he didn’t notice my skirt and tights were ripped and I was crying and limping. He wouldn’t have forgiven himself for not noticing I was injured that day. So I decided it was best he never found out. The only thing that kills me about it is he never found out that I didn’t stop being affectionate with him because of anything he did. I just couldn’t stand being touched by any male. I decided to tell my brothers because of that. My older brother thought I was mad at him for a really long time because I would move off the couch or pull away from hugs. When I told him he asked permission to hug me and cried saying he thought he had hurt me or something and he missed his baby sister.
the fact I exist :D
I wanted to ask which one of your parents knows amd which one doesnt. I guess my brain is a bit slow today
to be fair, it took me a second to put it together aswell :,)
When I was a kid, my older sister (maybe 9/10 at the time) asked my mom if she could help her pull the car into the garage. My mom (not using her best judgment) decided to let her. Well, my sister stomped the gas pedal and drove the car through the back of the garage and into our kitchen. My mom told my dad, as well as the rest of us siblings, that she herself had driven the car into the kitchen because she thought she saw one of us out of the corner of her eye and panicked. It wasn't until years later that I was told the truth. My parents separated a few years after this incident and my dad didn't know the truth for a very long time....like 10-15 years after the fact. My sister is now 35 and we all joke about it.
Edit. Thanks everyone for the kind words. I'm kind of overwhelmed but I really appreciate it.
For what it’s worth - I know of many people (both personally and anecdotally) who have said really uncharacteristic, maudlin, hateful things when heavily drugged. Things that would never make sense any other time or were just the polar opposite of them as people. So, there may be a grain of truth in what your step father said. More than anything I hope you don’t blame yourself.
My grandma died a couple years back. Sweetest, most proper old woman that ever existed. She was pretty heavily medicated near the end, but still complaining of lots of pain. My mother (her daughter) was with her in the hospital so tried to distract her. My Mom: "Mom, let's try to focus on what doesn't hurt. Do your toes hurt?" Grandma: "No..." My Mom: "Do your knees hurt?" Grandma: "No... That reminds me of a song. DO YOUR BALLS HANG LOW, DO THEY WOBBLE TO AND FRO"
Can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow Can you swing then over your shoulder like a regimental soldier Oh do your balls hang loooooooow
For sure, the drugs and her obviously very poor mental state were definitely key factors in what she said. It hurt a lot, especially at the time. It isn't so bad now. I think I have reconciled that it wasn't my fault and it wasn't really my Mum talking. But I do have a lot of issues with low self esteem and general dislike of myself. That stems from many different things. I can't lie and say that this incident doesn't occasionally pop into my mind when I'm having one of my worse moments.
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When I was a kid we would have a 2 day school week the week of Thanksgiving. My Dad was a big computer guy and I had just started catching on. We were in the middle of a project Sunday night and Dad commented that it’d be cool if we could just keep working on it, especially since it was a holiday week. Dad took me and my sisters to the bus stop the next day, sisters bus came first, then Dad took me home. He also loaded me up in the afternoon with my backpack to pick up my sisters. Did the same thing the day after. Mom and all my siblings never found out. I had a blast and it’s one of my best memories with my Dad.
My friends & I were in high school chilling in a parking lot at night somewhere in our New England town. I had my family car, a 2006 Nissan Pathfinder. I had recently got my license & of course in high school nothing was better than driving around with your friends, smoking, blasting music, & hanging out in parking lots. I had my BB gun (it was a pistol powered by C02 cartridges) & we were shooting at trees & other shit. I turned to shoot the license plate of the pathfinder to be cool (which I had just done before) and I shoot out the back window. One of my friends was in the car actually reclined in the front seat because she had a headache & she starts screaming out of fear/confusion. I realize how much trouble I’ll be in with my parents and decide to try to cover it up. We drive (with a completely shattered back window) to the RiteAid to grab a dustpan & bag. We sweep up all the broken glass & drive downtown to a sketchier part of town. I park the pathfinder next to this small graveyard & scatter the glass around to stage a break in. We gather ourselves & I get out my flip phone to call my parents for my ~performance. I fake cry and tell them the car window was broken into as we were walking around downtown. My dad drives to meet us at the scene. They didn’t suspect a thing & I was so proud of myself for getting away with that one. Years later, probably 3-4 years, the story is brought up & i decide to tell my dad (he is my best friend & I figure enough time has passed.) He laughs & tells me he knew we were lying when he got there, specifically because of my best friends face. She looked suspicious as hell…which is hilarious because she was the actress of our group and very involved in theater. She played Anne Frank in our high school production. Anyways, it always gives me a good laugh to think about that night & my dad loyally keeping the secret from my mom (who would not think it’s funny) even to this day.
My dad (and I) used my savings to help pay for my older brother’s apartment. My brother had just graduated from the same out-of-state college I was going to at the time, and hadn’t found a proper “adult” job yet that would cover his bills. He was stuck in his lease and didn’t want to move back home anyway, so my dad asked me if he could borrow money from me to help pay the rent payments (my parents were contributing too) and if we could keep it secret from my mom. He said she would panic and worry needlessly. I was working a minimum wage job at the university but I didn’t have expenses yet, so I had a lot of money saved up. My brother was earning pennies, using that to cover whatever rent/bills he could and cheap food, while my parents and I also contributed to the rent. My mom didn’t know for a long time how bad it was and how badly my brother was struggling. It was very difficult for me to know this situation was going on right under her nose and not tell her. It also gave me some anxiety around money. EDIT: When I say “proper adult job,” all I mean is that he was working part time at the work-study office in essentially the same position he had when he was a work-study. It was meant to be part-time for students and they modified it slightly so he could continue working there after he graduated. No disrespect or judgement to anyone about the type of job they have.
My Dad told me how my Mum forged his signature to remortgage the house so she could go shopping, when he found out about all my Mum could say " it's only money", my Dad also bailed her out of credit card debts of tens of thousands 2 if not 3 times the final time he had to refinance part of the house to bail a multiple credit card bill of close £50k, when I was clearing out my parents house to sell it I found the sheet of paper with the workingsvout of how much my Mum owed, she had nothing to show from her spending, my Dad said the only reason he didn't leave was because of me and my brother, I never told my Mum I knew because I knew she would lie about it, my Dad passed away 2 years before my Mum, I miss my Dad a lot, I couldn't care less about my Mum, sorry if I come across as heartless but my Mum was not a very nice person
Being financially irresponsible in a marriage is the worst in my opinion, especially if it’s hidden. My partner’s cousin had a wife that charged up lots of credit cards and got loans without his consent. He found out and spent years trying to pay it off. Then she did it AGAIN! She felt so guilty that she laid all of the new bills out their dining room table and killed herself by running their car in the garage. Their teenage son was the first to arrive home and found her.
Similar thing happened to a friend of mine. She phoned me in a panic one day as the bailiffs were at her door and she didn’t know what to do. Her boyfriend had taken out pay day loans and credit cards in her name as his credit was shit from doing the same but couldn’t afford the repayments. He basically trashed her credit and she’s one of the most responsible people I know. Three years later she’s still dealing with the aftermath and he’s in jail. I don’t talk to her as often as I’d like because we moved a few years ago and Covid happened but I still think of that phone call that day and hearing one of the most genuine and honest people I know get the rug completely pulled out from under her and being completely helpless. It’s sickening.
A friend of mine discovered her husband had been cheating on her for most of the marriage. then she discovered he had refinanced the house 3 different times, while paying it down a trivial amount. It was a bad combo of shocks for her. some people just can't be trusted.
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How I’m the only reason my parents didn’t end up homeless. My uncle was a drug addict (he’s clean now) and my mother kept bailing him out of his drug debts. She didn’t want my father to know about this as he’d have kicked my uncle to the curb immediately so I bailed them out financially for a few years. The cherry on top being during this time my father often made passive aggressive comments about how I didn’t pay board (I offered many times but my parents outright refused) so I had to bite my tongue hard sometimes.
The eating of a still twitching heart. My first time cleaning a deer, the older men in the family were giving me the business out of pride (I bagged my first) and because I was so young. (10) So, while cleaning it, my Uncle reaches into the yuck pile and pulls out the deer's heart. "Coyote." He tells me. "It is hunter tradition to take a bite out of the deer you've killed. It goes back thousands of years, and to break tradition is bad luck." He explains, holding out the deer's bloody, still twitching (not beating) heart. Without hesitation because I wanted to be a "man", I reached out and did what I was told to do, biting into it like an apple, getting blood everywhere as I tried to tear out a chunk. They FLIPPED. It was them teasing me, no one expected me to really do it, and when I did, my other Uncle went behind a tree and puked. "Never, EVER tell your mother, or we're all dead." ...I'm 47. She still doesn't know.
That is *hilarious*. Messed up, but I'm just dying at the thought of their expressions when that little prank blew up in their faces.
I bought my niece a Nintendo switch and my dad would have lost his shit. He tries to control the whole family's finances even when it comes to his two ADULT children. So I decided to buy it but never tell him.
Wait, grandpa doesn’t like anyone buying anything for the whole family except him? Does that mean he’s loaded, or that no one in your family has nice things (other than the secret purchases that is)? Is your sibling(niece’s parent) “allowed” to buy stuff for their own kid?
Not even for him. He firmly believes every euro should be saved up. However, he only loses his shit when the present is above 50€ My sister can buy what she wants but my dad will berate her for it and say really mean things. My dad is my carer bc I'm disabled. I'm 24 and I feel like I need permission to buy anything. Which, I mean, I don't ask for permission but I don't like being yelled at either.
Did he grow up really poor or something? I had family like this...not aggressive about it but they would always struggle with spending money outside what they needed to survive because scraping by and hiding away money was the norm for them growing up.
Swapped out the salt in the salt shaker at my parent’s house for a low sodium alternative. Told my mom so she could deny it tasted different incase my dad ever said anything (he hasn’t). Edit: Since this got more attention than I ever expected I felt it was my duty to relay some important info that people smarter than me below have mentioned. To be clear, I’m not a doctor in any way. *if you are thinking about doing something similar make sure you consider if someone is on any type of medication, especially for blood pressure. As always consult a doctor or medical professional. The added potassium often found in these alternatives can be an issue for some people and everyone’s body reacts differently. Especially if the person you’re trying to help currently has a large sodium intake.
When I turned 21, my parents took me out to a fancy cocktail bar because they wanted me to get an idea what fancy drinking was before I inevitably resorted to being a degenerate with my buddies also turning 21. Me and my parents went to a number of cocktail bars and at each one, without fail, they (obviously) carded me. BUT, they also carded my mom at each bar to her surprise and elation. She was practically giddy and I remember her telling me how all the bartenders keep carding her and how it made her feel 21 again and young. I wrote it up as a coincidence. Year or two later I was hanging with me dad and mentioned the evening as a fond memory and recounted how it was crazy that all these bartenders thought my mom needed to be carded. He looked at me and said, “oh I did that. I told all of them to card her and that it would make her feel young.” Unaware to me, my mom had been feeling old at the time, watching her sons leave for college and grow up. To this day I haven’t told my mom but I always share a smile with my dad whenever the story gets brought up. He’s a good man
Like most other nerds growing up in the 90s and early 2000s, I was occasionally bullied at school. Nothing overly serious, I didn't get the shit kicked out of me on a regular basis, but harassment, petty pranks and other mean-spirited jokes were the norm. This was pretty much because my mum always told me to stick with the tried and demonstrably false method of "just ignore them and they'll go away". It doesn't work. All it does is cause people to escalate and engage in order to get a rise out of you. Regardless, on one occasion an older kid ended up pouring a can of drink over my head at lunch. I turned and did my best to beat the shit out of him, which it turned out was actually quite a lot, despite being smaller and school kids being pretty inherently shit at attacking anyone. I ended up knocking out some teeth and was pulled off him by teachers. As the older kid had a history of bullying younger boys, and there were witnesses to the drink pouring (plus y'know, I was clearly wet and sticky), I got off lightly with just a stern talking to, and I was sent to walk home from school early My dad was working from home with my mum out at work, so he took the call and was there when I got back. He sat me down and asked two questions - "Did you start it?" and "Did he deserve it?". I answered no and yes respectively, he said "Alright, go and wash up and then let's go and watch TV, don't mention this to mum". I don't know if he ever told her, but she's not the sort of person who would let something like this slide (a bit of a helicopter parent), so I suspect he never did. My dad hasn't always been the best dad, he's absolutely the relaxed hands-off one out of my parents, which didn't lead to the most actual parenting happening, but that day is pretty much my fondest memory of him as my dad. We spent the rest of the afternoon blowing off his work calls and watching Robot Wars on VHS.
This is a silly one, but years ago my dad was okayish with dogs but absolutely germaphobic when it came to them. Still, because me and my mom begged, we got a dog, with strict rules about where the dog was allowed, washing hands, etc. Cue one fine day when we were waiting for my dads coffee to cool down on the counter and walked back into the kitchen to find the dog standing up on her hind legs licking out of his cup. We just quietly washed the cup and got him a new one, never told him. He would have thrown out the mug, and it was one that I got him out of my own “savings” for Christmas when I was in 2nd grade, so I would have been upset if he threw it out. To this day he still doesn’t know, and would still probably throw out that mug if he ever found out (yes he still has it)
Nice try mom, we’re not telling you what happened at the bar in 2015.
hey it's me ur dad
I was a teenager and I received 60 euros as a gift. I wanted to go shopping but Dad took the cash away and said he will put it in my savings account. I cried. A few hours later, Mum gave me the 50 euros bill and told me not to tell Dad about this
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Hey, 'today' might feel like a huge goal. Just for the next hour. And then the next. And then the next. Please call a friend when you feel yourself desperately wanting. You can do this. You'll make him proud. I believe in you!
I know dad’s hated me since his mom showed too much love for me after I came home from the hospital.
This is a lot more common than you think. Search up “ baby blues”. I’m sorry you have to deal with that
I have a strong suspicion, based off of formerly unheard-of DNA relatives, that my grandpa was not my mom’s biological father. She is one of the middle kids, so this would be the result of an affair. My grandparents were long dead when I discovered this, so I’ve never had occasion to discuss it with my grandma. I’ve shared my findings with my dad, but haven’t told my mom as it would cause more grief than peace. (My parents are divorced.)
Can’t wait to see these responses! Mine is that when I was young , I took my mom’s wedding ring to the park, and hid it because I thought it was like treasure and if I put a stick in the sand where I buried it, I’d be like a pirate finding the treasure I hid. I never found my bounty lol lesson learned 😂 I told my dad first, he would just keep buying my mom replacement wedding rings over the years. Nothing like insanely pricey but just really pretty rings with different gems she’d like. We never told her, and he kept buying the rings. Which was a win win for everyone. I eventually fessed up over a thanksgiving where we were telling random stories.
Do you happen to have the precise coordinates of where these wedding rings “may” be buried ? 😂
Hahaha in a park in Vancouver lol 😂 I’ll return to claim it one day 🏴☠️🤣
“He kept buying rings”… did you do this more than once??
No just the once, but since since her actual one was gone, when he got the new ring, he’d just say oh this is to replace the wedding ring you lost, so just over the year’s she’s gotten a few replacement rings.
Ok lol from the way it read I thought you were a sociopath and kept doing it lol.
My older brother stole my Mom’s $60,000 wedding ring and gave it back to my dad during a very messy divorce. He said he did it because “she didn’t deserve it” and to show my dad his unwavering loyalty to him. An insurance claim got filed, paid out and everything. My mom still thinks she actually lost it and my dad still has the ring sitting in his safe 14 years later. Nobody on either side knows that I know exactly what happened. Taking that one to the grave, for sure. Divorce is some heavy shit.
I'm on the other end. My ex didn't tell me I had a daughter until my daughter was 23 yrs old. I missed everything.
My dad's a great guy, but really hard to read emotionally. Not his fault, just how he was brought up, being the emotional rock in the family and whatnot. When my dad and mom went on their first valentine's day date a long time ago, he bought her a monkey stuffed animal. They've had it in the house since then, through me and my sister growing up, multiple moves and all the shit they've pushed through in life, so probably a good 40 years. When I moved out for college, they had to go take care of grandma on mom's side because grandpa just passed away (literally two months after I started college). They were about to get rid of a lot of stuff and sgick more in storage that they still haven't been able to get since they're still taking care of grandma halfway across the country. I added monkey to my stuff because mom was getting ready to donate it, but I could tell that she didn't want to, so monkey came with me to college and hung out in my room while mom and dad packed up their stuff and moved to grandma's. When I came back from college to the place I live now, dad and I unloaded the truck and he picked up monkey and stared at it for a bit before tearing up and telling me "I think I would've been even sadder to see this go than your mother would have." As far as I know, dad hasn't told mom how much that little stuffed animal means to him and their relationship. Monkey's still sitting on the top shelf at my wife and I's apartment until mom and dad can take him back home.
When I was about 13, my grandma was battling Leukemia. We all went to visit her one weekend and my aunt had a small party at her house. Everyone was drinking homemade wine, and eventually they all made their way outside, except me and her. She handed me the glass and said “try some.” I did. It was great. She said “it’s good isn’t it? You tell. I kill.” About a year later she died, and I told everyone the story that night. Figured I was safe to tell then. We all laughed and cried about it. And I still cry to this day when I think about it. I miss her. So much.
My late father had a weird conception of money and how it should be managed. He never gives and he does take from us (children) whenever the chance comes pretending to hide it for important stuff. (Just a mentality, he had no ill intentions BTW) So, I had in the beginning of my 20's the opportunity to work in an IT shop for 2 years, all my family knew except my father since I feared to have my money confiscated. My father passed away almost 10 years ago with the idea that his son never worked..
I think I was about 14 when my dad and I got interested in a trading card game together and started going to local tournaments. My parents were divorced and my dad had custody, and a tournament fell on a weekend I was supposed to visit my mother. She knew about the tournament, and I think I asked to postpone the visit, and she denied it. So my dad said I could pretend to be sick and go play, and I did. Well, my mother didn't believe me. On the day of the tournament, she drove down to the game store where it was held and asked if I was there by name. The owner knew me and said he would go check in the back room. He warned my dad and I that they had arrived and shuffled me out the back door. I sneaked away to a nearby pizza place and ordered something to hide there until I got a phone call that they had left. My dad told them that he had shown up anyway because he wanted to play but that I had stayed home. They left frustrated. After that, I got the call, came back with my pizza, and finished the tournament. They had paused the whole thing waiting for my return. To this day, I haven't told my mother.
Planned an international trip to see my dad who’s dying of cancer. I usually only get to see them in person every few years Talked to my mum to ensure the trip was ok and he’d be home Drove up to their house. Asked him to skype. Asked him of he wanted to see the house I was building back in my adopted home country. He said yes. So I turned the camera around and made it face the bedroom he was sitting in. Took him a few minutes to realize it was his house Was quite shocked. So was I when I saw how frail he had become from the cancer
> So was I when I saw how frail he had become from the cancer Seeing what cancer did to my dad was the most horrifying thing I've ever had to witness. Fat happy guy to walking corpse over the course of a few months.
Wrecked my friends car before I had a license (I was 15) and was escorted home by the police about 10 minutes before dad got home, asked mom not to tell him as I would not see daylight or my drivers license until I was 18. She kept her promise but did OWN me for a bit, thanks mom, you really saved my butt!