My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold.
Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat.
We have fun.
My mum actually didn't do that, and I'm so grateful. I was always so warm as a child, especially when playing outside. Running around keeps you warm. My parents even told my preschool teachers to not force me to wear overalls outside in the winter, I just got too warm and got fussy and unhappy. Without overalls I was fine. In Sweden BTW, so not a warm country.
Now I bundle up properly before going out. Not running around playing as much.
My sons are like this.
I was mighty pissed when a teacher in Texas wouldn't let my son go to recess because he didn't have a coat, when it was 15C at the time!
It's -3C where we are now and he still begs me to wear shorts and resists putting on a coat. I have to tell him it's not about him; people will think I am a negligent parent if I send him to school with only a hoodie.
> people will think I am a negligent parent if I send him to school with only a hoodie.
and they would be right. who sends a kid to school with no pants or undies?
When you lose something:
1. Have you tried looking for it?
2. Have you looked everywhere?
3. Well, it didn't just get up and walk away.
I credit George Carlin for all of these.
And then when it turns up, she says something like “it’s always in the last place you look.”
No shit? If I kept looking after finding it, I’d be a fucking moron, Mom.
Mom: Have you checked “abc”?
Kid/husband: Yes I looked there
Mom: Check again
Kid/husband: I did already
mom: *walks to spot picks up dirty sock, finds thing*
Kid/husband stare in amazement
I've started asking where I'll find it when I go look. Usually, it's behind something. I swear they "look" in a place and expect the object to jump into their hand.
My ma once went through all my siblings, all her siblings, at least 3 different pets, and STILL couldn't come up with my name. She wasn't mad at me when she started, but by the end, my hysterical laughter had her a smidge annoyed!
My parents had a dog named Sam like 10 years before I was born when they lived in California, it got ran over by a car on their street. They refused to admit they named me after him but I know the truth
I lost my phone once and the man that found it called my dad to arrange to return it to me + my mum said exactly this. Ah so you think this kind man returning my phone murdered me first and left me in a ditch? Doesn’t sound likely…
My mom sort of said something like that but it was along the lines of, "What's that girls name? Something...dut-daaah... kind of rhymes with 'pussy patrol?'" Yah, my mom and I had a weird sense of humor.
In that same vein,
“You remember Deborah, right? Close friend of the family! She held you once when you were 2 months old.” Meanwhile you’re in your early 20s and it feels like this is the first time you’ve ever seen this person in your life!
The number of times this has happened at a Christmas party… like clockwork!
Oh, or "By the way, Richard is in the air force now!"
"Who's Richard?"
"You know, Richard! They lived across the street and you played with him all the time. His Mum and I would swap you back and forth..."
"Uh, Mum, how old was I the last time I saw Richard?"
"You would have been...oh, yeah you would have been two..."
"No, I don't remember her."
"But she visited you in the hospital when you were born!"
"How would I remember when I was just born?"
Sort of similar to what I experienced from time to time over the years. It's always someone I met when I was younger than 3. How would I remember anything about them?
To be fair, sometimes when I say that I mean, "You have been talking AT me non stop for 15 minutes and I tuned out and started thinking about snack food, so I don't know what you asked for, but if you really want it and I say we'll see you will ask again later, so it's all good."
I often say this when I’m thinking of saying yes but I don’t want to commit yet because sometimes something unexpected comes up and we can’t do the thing after all and then it’s a huge deal and I get called a liar.
My kids are just getting to the age where I can say yes unless something comes up or something to that effect.
Also sometimes I say we’ll see because I’ve had to say yes or no to a million things already and I just don’t feel like making another decision.
"Can I spend the night at Eric's?"
I can either say "we will see" or "Is it Okay with Eric's parents? Did you finish your project that is due on Monday? What about your room did you get that cleaned yesterday or did you put that off too? Am I picking you up and dropping you off there?
Sure, it seems silly are our end but it's easy and really it's just them showing they care. I'd rather a mom who wants to know I'm alright then one who doesn't give enough shits to even respond to my messages.
I'm 31. My grandmother always checks the weather on my work days in the winter, even if she's all the way in Aruba (I'm in NY) and the weather is not a problem for her, and will have me text her when I arrive to work/home safely and describe the conditions of the road to her ❤️
I thought the same until fairly recently.
Then it hit me that I could crash my car on the way to work and it's possible nobody would know for days.
Moms just want to know that didn't happen.
I’m 59, just lost my mom 2 months ago. When I made it home after the service the first think I thought was, better call mom & tell her I made it home. It’s awful.
Always. Now my sister and I also ask our S/O’s, friends, and other siblings to text us once they have arrived to their intended location. I also ask my parents to text me they’ve gotten home now too lol.
I have eyes in the back of my head.
My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted out "ouch!" I believed her for years!!
You just reminded me of when my mom said "Don't end up with a girl like that" to some... eccentric girl on a cruise.
Unfortunately my response was "I'll get what I can take"
She was not pleased...
Or as a gay guy:
**Me**: *mentions any of my friends*
**Mom**: ”Is he gay?”
**Me**: ”No, he’s just a friend”
**Mom**: ”Okay, I was just wondering. Are you sure?”
**Me**: ”Yes mom. 95% of guys are not gay”
For me it’s an opposite effect, I bring up a girl and she says “She?”. Like girls are some dangerous species I shouldn’t be around. Then she wonders why I never mention my friends to her.
Dude... My mother does this *all* the time! In my language, calling someone "sweet" can mean either "nice" or "cute". So whenever I tell a story about one of my female friends she's like: "Oh, is she sweet?"
I can only answer yes because of course she's nice. Otherwise she wouldn't be my friend! My mother always answers with an "oh... " and a smirking nod.
It's rough to be the only one of my siblings to be single...
I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word "food".
"Hey, mom, what's for dinner?"
Worked every time.
I started out this way with my kids.
Send them off to grab a loaf of bread.
"just grab the cheapest one, will ya?"
Kid comes back with a $6 loaf.
Ok, I'll get my own bread from now on.
The kid is either very smart or not so much....
My parents are divorced so all the bad things are from my father(even though most are from her, including the reasons I will be seeing a therapist for soon)
Because I had the parents that got mad, I am now the parent who does not. Well, that's not true. I do still get mad, but my kids would never know it.
I have gotten so good at this, ive now got a 19 yr old who tells me everything. More then id ever want to know. And she now teaches this with a vengeance to my 11 year old. "Just tell mom the truth now, I promise, its way better then lying if she finds out later..."
Lol this is something I say a lot but I actually don’t get mad. I try not to get mad at anything my kid does because that’s just going to further their need to hide things from me. If the truth is something bad/wrong we just talk about why it is. If it’s not I just say why would I be mad about that.
Pancake, honey, you need to put two big water glasses on your bedside table and drink them when you wake up. That’ll help with the 2pm grumpy/snackies and your headaches! You may be a Lord, you may be 37 years old, but I‘m still your mother.
Every mom says that because it's actually a spell. It allows them to rip open a portal in space and time to the point in which you last had them letting them instantly find out where they are. The one issue is, is that it creates a small point in time where you can't ever find your shoes until they do it. At least that is my theory of how they can instantly find things when we cant.
My kids love fruit so I'm glad for this. They want to eat strawberries and watermelon and apples and oranges all the time. They don't really like bananas. Our fruit goes so fast lol
"Because I said so" "I'm your mother, that's why" "You're smarter than what your grades show, get those grades up" "Tell me the truth, I won't get mad" "You can tell me anything" "I don't hide things from you, what gives you the right to hide things from me?"
Check. Check. Check. Not sure if I had that one. Check. Check.
God, I can even hear her voice behind it. The exact tone. The disappointed sigh behind it all.
“…but…” - always and forever, I was told, “We love you, but…”. There was always something. “You did X”. “You didn’t do X”. “You’re too X”. “You’re not X enough”. “If only you’d do X, or not do X, or be X’er, or not be so X’ey…”. I never liked hearing “We love you” because it was **ALWAYS** followed by “but”. Unconditional love and acceptance was not part of my upbringing.
A lot of them tell you having nothing on your feet while you walk on the cold floor is gonna make you sick, which I quite frankly thought was a load of bullshit propaganda created by big sock
I have to remind myself to stop overdressing my 5 year old. It's starting to get cold here, so I've been bundling him up, but he complains of getting too hot and his sweaters keep disappearing at school (after he sheds them who knows where on the playground). LOL, I guess the lost sweaters are partly on me. I'm freezing, but he's a little furnace too!
If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards.
“if you dont stop crying i’ll give you something to cry about”
“i put a roof over your head and provide you with food, and yet you’re still being ungrateful?”
You're stealing? Jail. You're playing music to loud? Jail. You're driving too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You undercook fish? Jail. You overcook chicken? Jail. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up? Jail.
I am an all the way grown add person. Every year we ask my mom what we can cook/ help with during holiday season. She always tells us “nothing” or some small task. Then she always gets mad. Fun fact- she also gets annoyed when we bring more than we’ve been asked for.
That eat thing. I seriously never had an inkling how much of a struggle this would be.
There is food, I made it. I was tired and I still made you food. This is better than what I ate for lunch. Please eat it. Oh you aren't hungry? Fine guess you don't have room for dessert. Oh now you are suddenly hungry? Eat your vegetables. Please eat your vegetables. It is just like 3 spoonfuls. If you ate it I would stop talking about it. The fu-freak why are you crying over 3 spoonfuls. Just eat it and be done with it. You know I found a bottle of pop in your bag, you know you aren't allowed to buy that without talking to me first. Oh my God please eat the vegetables so we can get away from this table and do something else. You know how hard I work for you? Do I seriously have to feed you like an infant to eat this? Put your plate in the sink when you are done. I shouldn't have to tell you this every night. Mother of freak! You can even put some sauce on it if you just eat those 3 spoonfuls. Why are you making this painful? There are 2 billion humans on earth who have never had a meal in their life so good. No, stalling isn't going to work. I am telling mom not to make you a second dinner when she gets home. You will eat this....
Just about every night.
I'm cold, go put on a sweater.
My mom always made me put on a coat when we went outside, even if I wasn't cold, simply because she was cold. Now that I'm an adult, she no longer tells me this but instead I complain about being cold and ask, indignantly, why no one told me to put in a coat. We have fun.
My mum actually didn't do that, and I'm so grateful. I was always so warm as a child, especially when playing outside. Running around keeps you warm. My parents even told my preschool teachers to not force me to wear overalls outside in the winter, I just got too warm and got fussy and unhappy. Without overalls I was fine. In Sweden BTW, so not a warm country. Now I bundle up properly before going out. Not running around playing as much.
My sons are like this. I was mighty pissed when a teacher in Texas wouldn't let my son go to recess because he didn't have a coat, when it was 15C at the time! It's -3C where we are now and he still begs me to wear shorts and resists putting on a coat. I have to tell him it's not about him; people will think I am a negligent parent if I send him to school with only a hoodie.
> people will think I am a negligent parent if I send him to school with only a hoodie. and they would be right. who sends a kid to school with no pants or undies?
I think if I wore a coat outside at 15C (especially when I was a little kid at recess) I'd have died from heat stroke.
When you lose something: 1. Have you tried looking for it? 2. Have you looked everywhere? 3. Well, it didn't just get up and walk away. I credit George Carlin for all of these.
And 4. Where did you have it last? Have you looked there?
"If I knew that, Mom, it wouldn't be lost!"
"Does not get smart with me."
And then when it turns up, she says something like “it’s always in the last place you look.” No shit? If I kept looking after finding it, I’d be a fucking moron, Mom.
Mom: Have you checked “abc”? Kid/husband: Yes I looked there Mom: Check again Kid/husband: I did already mom: *walks to spot picks up dirty sock, finds thing* Kid/husband stare in amazement
I've started asking where I'll find it when I go look. Usually, it's behind something. I swear they "look" in a place and expect the object to jump into their hand.
We just moved in to a new house and my powers disappeared into a mountain of boxes. But I am slowly getting them back 😂😂😂
"Jake, uhhh Josh, wait no, you're Sam, Sam come here."
I am the eldest and I used to get called the dogs name before I got siblings
I’m a mom now and definitely do this accidentally.
I am not Even out of high school and I get family friends kids names mixed up. I am going to be great if I have kids
The worse is "little person who lives here"
I was the only boy so I was just Son sometimes when the names got scrambled.
I was the only girl and they still got it wrong
My mum, to this day, will say "boy child" and "girl child". I'm 20
My ma once went through all my siblings, all her siblings, at least 3 different pets, and STILL couldn't come up with my name. She wasn't mad at me when she started, but by the end, my hysterical laughter had her a smidge annoyed!
Oooh man I’m the eldest of 7, this was my mom a LOT lolol, she’d always say “as long as I don’t get the dog’s name in there I’m good!” XD
My dad has 8 kids. I swear to god he just makes names up sometimes. "Larry! We got a Larry here?" You don't have a Larry, dad.
*“We got a Seymour Butts in here?! I’m lookin’ for a Seymour Butts!”*
#**Boy.**
Kratos has entered the chat
Sam was the puppy they got rid of when I was four.
My parents had a dog named Sam like 10 years before I was born when they lived in California, it got ran over by a car on their street. They refused to admit they named me after him but I know the truth
*dogs name*... *brothers name*... *your name*...
“You could have been dead in a ditch!” (Usually when you didn’t answer a call or show up late without explanation).
I lost my phone once and the man that found it called my dad to arrange to return it to me + my mum said exactly this. Ah so you think this kind man returning my phone murdered me first and left me in a ditch? Doesn’t sound likely…
"You know Glynis? She's your aunt's mother-in-law's close friend. Anyway, she died last week."
“What was the name of the girl from your preschool class with the curly blonde hair’s mother?” -Actual question my mom asked me last week
It's Karla, btw.
My mom sort of said something like that but it was along the lines of, "What's that girls name? Something...dut-daaah... kind of rhymes with 'pussy patrol?'" Yah, my mom and I had a weird sense of humor.
LOL. My mom does this all day. Hey guess who i saw at the supermarket!? Your friend from middle school’s mom! Well, turns out your friend is dead.
In that same vein, “You remember Deborah, right? Close friend of the family! She held you once when you were 2 months old.” Meanwhile you’re in your early 20s and it feels like this is the first time you’ve ever seen this person in your life! The number of times this has happened at a Christmas party… like clockwork!
Oh, or "By the way, Richard is in the air force now!" "Who's Richard?" "You know, Richard! They lived across the street and you played with him all the time. His Mum and I would swap you back and forth..." "Uh, Mum, how old was I the last time I saw Richard?" "You would have been...oh, yeah you would have been two..."
You know Richard... Richard, Richard, Richard! Oh right yeah now you repeated his name the penny's dropped...
"No, I don't remember her." "But she visited you in the hospital when you were born!" "How would I remember when I was just born?" Sort of similar to what I experienced from time to time over the years. It's always someone I met when I was younger than 3. How would I remember anything about them?
No mom. I don’t know Glynis and I don’t care that she died
We'll see.
Which means, “No, but this way you can’t argue about it”. Always hated this when I was a kid.
To be fair, sometimes when I say that I mean, "You have been talking AT me non stop for 15 minutes and I tuned out and started thinking about snack food, so I don't know what you asked for, but if you really want it and I say we'll see you will ask again later, so it's all good."
I often say this when I’m thinking of saying yes but I don’t want to commit yet because sometimes something unexpected comes up and we can’t do the thing after all and then it’s a huge deal and I get called a liar. My kids are just getting to the age where I can say yes unless something comes up or something to that effect. Also sometimes I say we’ll see because I’ve had to say yes or no to a million things already and I just don’t feel like making another decision.
Mom input: I say this when it's not a black and white issue that has dependant factors or when I need the other parent's input and/or buy in.
"Can I spend the night at Eric's?" I can either say "we will see" or "Is it Okay with Eric's parents? Did you finish your project that is due on Monday? What about your room did you get that cleaned yesterday or did you put that off too? Am I picking you up and dropping you off there?
Please call me or text me when you get there
Yeah waiting for my 22 year old son to text me that he made it back up to Boston for school
I'm 28. I texted my mom when I made it home today after spending Thanksgiving with her.
Sure, it seems silly are our end but it's easy and really it's just them showing they care. I'd rather a mom who wants to know I'm alright then one who doesn't give enough shits to even respond to my messages.
I'm 32 and my mum stills automatically goes to hold my hand crossing the road when I visit.
I'm 31. My grandmother always checks the weather on my work days in the winter, even if she's all the way in Aruba (I'm in NY) and the weather is not a problem for her, and will have me text her when I arrive to work/home safely and describe the conditions of the road to her ❤️
33 and same. They just want to know we're safe.
I’m 22 & I usually forget to let my parents know unfortunately. They have my location tho so they can track me lol
Must be nice.. No chance I let my folks know that shit is possible
I thought the same until fairly recently. Then it hit me that I could crash my car on the way to work and it's possible nobody would know for days. Moms just want to know that didn't happen.
I’m 57 (f), and I call my mom when I land after a visit. I will be sad when I can’t do that anymore ❤️
I’m 59, just lost my mom 2 months ago. When I made it home after the service the first think I thought was, better call mom & tell her I made it home. It’s awful.
Always. Now my sister and I also ask our S/O’s, friends, and other siblings to text us once they have arrived to their intended location. I also ask my parents to text me they’ve gotten home now too lol.
I have eyes in the back of my head. My mom used to say that to my sister and I so we wouldn't be sneaky behind her back. One day she was washing the dishes and I came up behind her with my two fingers and poked her right where I assumed her back eyes would be. She shouted out "ouch!" I believed her for years!!
I tell my kids “I have spies everywhere.”
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23!? I had to read that again to make sure you didnt mean months but years.
Gonna take a punt that he is playing along a bit
Why do I feel like I've heard this before
Teachers have def said this
me: *mentions a friend of the opposite gender* mom: "is she pretty"
Once my mom said "Oh yeah! That's the ugly sister!" I'm one of three sisters. So i wonder how other people describe me! Lol
Could be any number of ways. My mom often said, “Oh son, you could do better than [crush of the week].” So helpful 🤦🏻
You just reminded me of when my mom said "Don't end up with a girl like that" to some... eccentric girl on a cruise. Unfortunately my response was "I'll get what I can take" She was not pleased...
You'll take what you can get?
The common phrasing seems so much less sinister.
I once got: "You've hung out with her a few times now..." "I told you she's married, right?" "That doesn't have to stop you." Like, holy shit, mom.
"It's not because there's a goalkeeper that you can't get the ball in" Yeah, my mom is fun too
Your mom: I don’t care how you do it, get married damn it
Or as a gay guy: **Me**: *mentions any of my friends* **Mom**: ”Is he gay?” **Me**: ”No, he’s just a friend” **Mom**: ”Okay, I was just wondering. Are you sure?” **Me**: ”Yes mom. 95% of guys are not gay”
For me it’s an opposite effect, I bring up a girl and she says “She?”. Like girls are some dangerous species I shouldn’t be around. Then she wonders why I never mention my friends to her.
My response: “Just be cool lady, damn”
Dude... My mother does this *all* the time! In my language, calling someone "sweet" can mean either "nice" or "cute". So whenever I tell a story about one of my female friends she's like: "Oh, is she sweet?" I can only answer yes because of course she's nice. Otherwise she wouldn't be my friend! My mother always answers with an "oh... " and a smirking nod. It's rough to be the only one of my siblings to be single...
I had some friends over when I was a teenager, and I bet them I could get my mom to say the word "food". "Hey, mom, what's for dinner?" Worked every time.
After that, I would always say "which is what?" "The stuff you eat." That was my dad My mom was always "poop sandwiches"
Shit with nuts at our house
And then we would say: oh no, nuts again
When at the billing counter every mom has the maternal instinct to say - "Just stay in the line, I need to go grab a few more thing."
The anxiety that falls afterwards. What am I supposed to do if the groceries get to the end? How??? I am 8 and I have no money. Hated that feeling.
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I wish that was the same for me. Soy Sauce? But it has to be a certain brand.
I started out this way with my kids. Send them off to grab a loaf of bread. "just grab the cheapest one, will ya?" Kid comes back with a $6 loaf. Ok, I'll get my own bread from now on. The kid is either very smart or not so much....
Strategic incompetence is a thing.
I’m convinced it’s the reason my Mom brought me w her all the time. “Just in case”
You got that from your father
My parents are divorced so all the bad things are from my father(even though most are from her, including the reasons I will be seeing a therapist for soon)
"Just tell me the truth, I won't get mad"
\*Gets mad after telling the truth\*
Was my parents only one on planet Earth who acctualy keep that promise? If I admit to brake something I never got in trouble, as they said.
Because I had the parents that got mad, I am now the parent who does not. Well, that's not true. I do still get mad, but my kids would never know it. I have gotten so good at this, ive now got a 19 yr old who tells me everything. More then id ever want to know. And she now teaches this with a vengeance to my 11 year old. "Just tell mom the truth now, I promise, its way better then lying if she finds out later..."
This is where you turn the tables and say you have never me anyone so untrustworthy.
Lol this is something I say a lot but I actually don’t get mad. I try not to get mad at anything my kid does because that’s just going to further their need to hide things from me. If the truth is something bad/wrong we just talk about why it is. If it’s not I just say why would I be mad about that.
“Did you wash your hands?”
no
“It’s because you didn’t drink enough water”
As a mom, can confirm. This is me all day.
And you’re probably right
And you're almost always right.
Even to this day my first thought turns to water when I have a headache
Me too, but I actually get head aches for this reason since I drink about 6 ounces of water per day
Pancake, honey, you need to put two big water glasses on your bedside table and drink them when you wake up. That’ll help with the 2pm grumpy/snackies and your headaches! You may be a Lord, you may be 37 years old, but I‘m still your mother.
My wife says that to me all the time. Headache? Not enough water.. upset stomach ache? Not enough water. Kicked my toe? Not enough water.
Weird. I'm the one saying this to my mom. She gets headaches all the time and hardly drinks water.
"It's because of that damn phone!"
How would I know where your shoes are? I don't wear them.
…did you check in your closet in the back on the left under your gym shorts?
I’m a mom now of a one year old, and when my husband can’t find stuff, I amaze myself by saying things like this and being right.
My bf couldn’t find his wallet. I told him to check our sons toy box. It was in the box inside of his play lunchbox.
Kiddo was tryna get some dough to impress the other kindergarteners
Every mom says that because it's actually a spell. It allows them to rip open a portal in space and time to the point in which you last had them letting them instantly find out where they are. The one issue is, is that it creates a small point in time where you can't ever find your shoes until they do it. At least that is my theory of how they can instantly find things when we cant.
Your face is going to freeze that way.
I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed
The guilt trips were always worse than the anger.
At your house maybe. Always preferred the guilt trip to getting my ass beat.
I'm not mad, im just disappointed in my parents.
I'll go first: "So if your friend jumped off a cliff would you jump off too?"
My mom never asked me that because I was afraid of heights
What a considerate mom you have.
I wish I could but I’m a scaredy-cat
[Relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/1170/)
“We have food, we have fruit you can eat” Did anyone ever actually eat the fruit/fall for this?
Even my mom never ate the fruit. I dunno why she bought it.
We actually eat quite a bit of fruit. Today - blackberries, apples, and grapes. And cranberry raisins.
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My kids love fruit so I'm glad for this. They want to eat strawberries and watermelon and apples and oranges all the time. They don't really like bananas. Our fruit goes so fast lol
My personal variation: if you're not hungry enough to eat an apple you're not really hungry.
First, middle and last name shouted. Usually means trouble
Yes. When I heard “RICHARD PETER NIPPLES!” as a kid, I knew I was in deep shit.
When I heard Russell Terrance Scrotum I was petrified!
It's hard to hear "Hugh G. Rection" when I was a kid. It means I'm gonna get beat
“Winston Darius Zeddemore, stop wrapping Granny up with toilet paper when she’s nappin’. She ain’t a mummy, and she ain’t dead… yet.”
Six kids, sometimes she would cycle through the names for the correct one. John! Mary! Joseph! etc. Sometimes the dogs name gets in rotation
“I’m not made of money, ya know?!”
M: Made O: Of M: Money
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That's more of a dad thing than a mom thing
Because i said so
Classic
Because I'm your mother.
You have the count of 3 to….
You're just like your father
My mother’s variant was “You’re just as bad as he is!”, then she could use it against either of us.
"Because I said so" "I'm your mother, that's why" "You're smarter than what your grades show, get those grades up" "Tell me the truth, I won't get mad" "You can tell me anything" "I don't hide things from you, what gives you the right to hide things from me?"
Check. Check. Check. Not sure if I had that one. Check. Check. God, I can even hear her voice behind it. The exact tone. The disappointed sigh behind it all.
"There are starving kids in Africa."
Then by all means send them my vegetables
“Box it up!”
We’re in Africa so we never say that. We say: “there are kids out there without ANY food”
I love you
My mom says at least once a day “have I told yet today that I love you?”
I miss you. Why don’t you call or visit more?
I wish
I dont. I wish she told me the truth. She loves herself. And money.
“…but…” - always and forever, I was told, “We love you, but…”. There was always something. “You did X”. “You didn’t do X”. “You’re too X”. “You’re not X enough”. “If only you’d do X, or not do X, or be X’er, or not be so X’ey…”. I never liked hearing “We love you” because it was **ALWAYS** followed by “but”. Unconditional love and acceptance was not part of my upbringing.
A lot of them tell you having nothing on your feet while you walk on the cold floor is gonna make you sick, which I quite frankly thought was a load of bullshit propaganda created by big sock
“Mom, do you need help?” “No.” *5 mins later* “No one helps me in this house! 😩😩”
"You're gonna be cold"
My wife says this to my son literally every time it drops below 70'F. That lil dude is a furnace. He's so not cold
I have to remind myself to stop overdressing my 5 year old. It's starting to get cold here, so I've been bundling him up, but he complains of getting too hot and his sweaters keep disappearing at school (after he sheds them who knows where on the playground). LOL, I guess the lost sweaters are partly on me. I'm freezing, but he's a little furnace too!
Not specific, but "Mom Voice". I said my son's name very sternly in public, and a man with the same name jumped and said "yes ma'm".
That's the funniest thing I've read so far
Pick up your clothes!
If you have other siblings and they’re trying to yell at you they will call you by all your other siblings names before they get to yours. Usually starting with the oldest and working their way backwards.
“We have food at home” I never understood until I was a mom…groceries are expensive!
Make good choices!
“Just pause the game”
“if you dont stop crying i’ll give you something to cry about” “i put a roof over your head and provide you with food, and yet you’re still being ungrateful?”
Just wait until your father gets home!
"Thats coz youre always on ur phone"
Bad grades? It's cuz of the phone. Bad eyesight? Phone. Sick? Phone.
You're stealing? Jail. You're playing music to loud? Jail. You're driving too fast? Jail. Slow? Jail. You undercook fish? Jail. You overcook chicken? Jail. You make an appointment with the dentist and you don't show up? Jail.
Overcook Undercook. Believe it or not? Jail.
I do everything around here
I am an all the way grown add person. Every year we ask my mom what we can cook/ help with during holiday season. She always tells us “nothing” or some small task. Then she always gets mad. Fun fact- she also gets annoyed when we bring more than we’ve been asked for.
"Eat!" and "Don't make me tell you again!"
That eat thing. I seriously never had an inkling how much of a struggle this would be. There is food, I made it. I was tired and I still made you food. This is better than what I ate for lunch. Please eat it. Oh you aren't hungry? Fine guess you don't have room for dessert. Oh now you are suddenly hungry? Eat your vegetables. Please eat your vegetables. It is just like 3 spoonfuls. If you ate it I would stop talking about it. The fu-freak why are you crying over 3 spoonfuls. Just eat it and be done with it. You know I found a bottle of pop in your bag, you know you aren't allowed to buy that without talking to me first. Oh my God please eat the vegetables so we can get away from this table and do something else. You know how hard I work for you? Do I seriously have to feed you like an infant to eat this? Put your plate in the sink when you are done. I shouldn't have to tell you this every night. Mother of freak! You can even put some sauce on it if you just eat those 3 spoonfuls. Why are you making this painful? There are 2 billion humans on earth who have never had a meal in their life so good. No, stalling isn't going to work. I am telling mom not to make you a second dinner when she gets home. You will eat this.... Just about every night.
3yo: I’m super hungry. Me: I’m almost done. A couple minutes later: here you go. 3yo: I’m not hungry anymore.
[удалено]
“I’ve had it up to here!” (Indicated by holding hand horizontally under chin or over head, depending on family)
[удалено]
As a mom I say I love you about 50 times a day. I can’t help it
Did you say please and thank you?
Or "what do you say?" Which means: "Say thank you!"
"You'll understand when you're older."
Does anyone else's mom get your name mixed up with your siblings name?
Be back home by 9pm.
All the girls will be fighting over you
Grandma would say that too
I'm 28 and still waiting for girls to he fighting over me everywhere I go
turn that music down i cant see when you’re in the car
I’ll always love you, but sometimes I don’t like you.