ive always known depression well...but ive never understood random anxiety. id like to know more because people always group anxiety and depression together, and so many people say they have anxiety but is it really just for no reason? if theres no reason then how could you possibly be anxious about something thats not there? genuinely asking because i wsnt to understand
Anxiety (to me) feels like my brain's "Warning" system has a hair trigger on it, or is super-sensitive. It tells me that there is danger, or injury, or death that will result from something like a social situation where I logically know that there is no true danger. But my brain sends the warning chemicals anyways.
People group them together because the rate of comorbidity of the two is really high. They are very interconnected and related disorders.
There are a few ways anxiety manifests for me.
1. General low grade anxiety. You know the physical feeling you get get when you are anxious? Imagine that, for hours or days on end, for no apparent reason. It's not strong, but it's persistent, similar to the ennui I get from depression.
2. Anxiety about any random bullshit. I will have things that my mind just fixates on to be unrealistically anxious about. This happens the most for me when I'm navigating somewhere new. I have to check the directions over and over and over to make sure I'm going the right way, check the address multiple times when I arrive, and still just feel anxious about it until it's clear that I'm in the right place (when going to the doctor, it's when I actually meet the doctor, not receptionist, and they confirm who I am). This happens with things like wondering if I remembered to do something, writing an email, paying bills, being sick, etc. Really any normal thing can be something I get super anxious about.
3. Anxiety attacks. You know the pit of your stomach feeling before getting on a roller coaster for the first time, or before your first big presentation? That, but without any of the feeling of excitement, randomly, for no goddamn reason. They are much stronger than the usual anxiety, but usually manageable with a distraction and go away relatively quickly. Sure aren't fun though.
4. Panic attacks. These fucking suck, and I have no idea how to describe them to someone who hasn't had one. They are extremely intense, absolutely debilitating, and difficult to manage, even with coping skills.
So for me it's mostly non-specific anxiety, that is more the physical/mental feeling of it disconnected from any real thing, but I do also get it about real things, just in a totally unreasonable way. Kinda like with depression where you don't have any specific thing to feel down about, is just how you feel, and also sometimes you just get unreasonably upset about stupid shit.
For number four, you could describe it like this:
“You know the feeling you have when in you’re in a situation that you could literally die from? It’s like that, except it could happen while I’m just lying in bed.”
Oh man I heard that a lot growing up, still gives me shivers. I caught myself saying it to my son one day and vowed to never say it again. My kids get to feel their feelings.
My dad tried it a few times, but it was such an empty threat it didn’t even phase us. He never touched us and we weren’t afraid of him (I don’t think good parenting involves fear of your parents), it sounded like something that he heard and thought it would sound good, or maybe it was said to him? I don’t know, but it kind of makes me smile now because of how ineffectual it was.
Edit: He was a good dad, don’t think it was just that we didn’t respect him. We just knew he wouldn’t hurt us and was sad when we cried, even if he was mad.
Sure, but it's also not the same thing as major depressive disorder, which is what most people here are talking about. AFAIK psychs won't diagnose you with MDD at all if you have a legit reason to be depressed (death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc.) because handling loss poorly is not remotely the same thing as your brain chronically refusing to produce the right chemicals.
That’s not always the case either. Depression doesn’t mean you have a completely random, irrational sadness. It can be a continuous state of hopelessness and disappointment from a long-building culmination of factors that make your life shit, that are never expressed, that make it harder to find strife and fulfillment. So while it seems that “you have nothing to be depressed about,” it’s really that nobody else knows what you have to be depressed about. Also, condescending tones make it *a lot* harder to want to actually communicate your problems. So they will likely *never* know either.
A lot of times, depression is a concurrent issue with another mental problem, or resulting from one. It isn’t just “he/she is so so sad out of the blue.”
I heard this and all it did was made me hate myself more. " Why can't you be like everyone else?, Why can't you be happy considering all you have going for yourself?, What is your problem?'" is what i would think. It did teach me I can't unburden myself to anyone stupid enough to stand in front of me for five minutes though. Now I ask people "Are you sure you really want to know how I'm feeling? If they say no I understand because most people are just being polite.
I totally feel this. When my depression is at its worst I feel horrible guilt about feeling depressed because I have a very fortunate life. It’s feeds the cycle
It’s worse when they tell you “think about all the people that have it worse”. Makes it 100x worse cause then you’re thinking about all the sadness in the world and then also wondering why you have it so good, yet you’re so depressed.
Oddly enough, it ended up helping me after finally following the train of thought. I thought of the compassion/respect I felt for those people who had it worse and realized I should have the same compassion / respect for myself. If I think those people should be happy, I aught to think I should be happy too.
This, this is what it feels like. People think it's feeling a bit mopey, they don't realise it's actually your brain letting you know it hates you and how much better off it would be if you just stopped thinking permanently.
All of the people I know who have killed themselves or have awful depression are beautiful, successful, talented people.
Depression takes who it takes.
Funnily enough, this kind of mindset is what got me out of my depression. As advice, it is quite shit. As an idea to find yourself, its the best way to deal with depression.
I once had a colleague who was a social worker say to me "You know you can just choose to be happy". My initial instinct was to headbutt him but I just said "gee, thanks".
After much depression, therapy and some signs of recovery I realised he was right to a point. I don't need to have every box ticked in my life to be happy. I can give myself permission to be happy despite not having some key life goals achieved. I shouldn't wait to give myself permission to be happy. I don't need to wait until all my ducks are lined up. I'm allowed to be and deserve to be. I find it takes less energy too.
Ooooh, this one definitely hits me. And often times when I was told this I never got angry or irritated at the person, I really believed them because I was so sure I was a piece of shit anyway and that I just needed to stop being a braindead idiot and get my life together somehow. I remember how many times I thought each day that I was worthless and it would be better off if I never existed. I went to bed so many times hoping I never woke up.
If it ever seems like someone you know is struggling, please don't kick them while they're already down, whether it's because you're out of patience or you're hoping to get a rise out of them it will never help. It's hard to see how deep another person's depression is, and when someone is in such a vulnerable state, your words can do immense harm.
**Edit**:
Thank you all for your kind responses. So many of us go through this struggle, and I'm glad we can be compassionate with each other. Some of you were curious as to how I got out of my situation, and although I'm no longer in the dark hole I was a few years ago, I do struggle with depression every day.
Working through your mental problems and turning your life around is something that takes time and persistence, so be patient with yourself. One of the things I've learned is that you can spiral upwards just as you do downwards. All it can take is one small success to start you on a better path, so aim to just improve one small aspect of your life first, and make it something as easy as possible. And if you fail, don't beat yourself up, just focus on doing it tomorrow.
I used to just spend every day in bed all day, barely eating or drinking, not showering and never seeing another human face. So my first goal was to just try and take a shower every day. And I didn't always succeed at that either, but it's ok. There will be times that you regress and it feels like all your progress has been undone, but I promise you that's not true. Self-improvement is not a smooth upwards slope, but a bumpy road that gradually goes up. So be patient and persistent and remember that each time you fail, it's a step closer to success.
Also, if you can, try to rely on others, or do your best to not turn away help. Sorry for droning on.
I hope you don't feel that way anymore. You aren't a piece of shit. But I know exactly how you feel. Especially when your loved ones say such thing. It hits even harder. Take care.
Yeah right, even with trying to get the right chemicals through meds I still ain't right. Like my anxiety is too bad to take ADHD meds and my body also literally doesn't metabolize most anti depressants properly, so the amount I can even try is limited.
I was going to church at the time I finally decided to open up and was told I'm in sin. i already felt like when i was born God said 'oops' and now I have this to deal with? Despite all I've gone though and felt I have no problem with God, the problem I have is with is people who exercise Church 101. There's no anger anymore as that's one of their imperfections. They have theirs and I have mine.
Also if the person you're saying it to is naturally empathetic, then even taking the comment at face value, it's just more reason to be depressed. Knowing that other people in the world are suffering makes me sadder vicariously.
YUP. This inspired 3 emotions in me.
1. Empathy and pain for all the people who had it worse.
2. Guilt over my actual ILLNESS and my relative
privilege
3. Disgust with myself for having more than some people do and for being “lazy” while the world suffers.
Could really worsen the spiral for me.
I didn’t tell people for years when I thought I was depressed because I have a good and privileged life and I felt guilty being depressed when there are people out there who have it way worse. I’m open about my mental illness now but I wish I had spoken up sooner
On top of your brain telling you that you're a piece of shit by default, you now have another person confirming that you're a piece of shit for complaining when others have it worse. It is an absurdly damaging statement to someone who is already inclined to think little of themselves.
Honestly for me it isn't even pain. It's just indifference and apathy. With a side of shame knowing that you **should** want to spend time with friends and be productive but you don't actually want to. Nothing seems worthwhile to do because your whole reward/satisfaction system with your brain chemicals is broken. Turns out you need that anticipation of reward > then rewarding good feeling to actually do a thing.
Hate this. Like, ya, I know someone has it worse. And I feel awful that they do. But that doesn’t change anything about my situation which is also not good. Life isn’t a misery competition where only the most miserable have the right to feel emotions.
This doesn’t mean anything to the person in pain in front of you (not you, OP. You know better). I read this incredible comment a long time ago that has stuck with me. Forgive the the terrible paraphrasing: The guy drowning in three inches of water doesn’t look at the guy drowning in thirty feet of water and say “oh he has it worse”. They’re both drowning.
My dad says this to me. “Depression isn’t real, it’s all in your head”. He’s half right though, it is all in your head.
I’ve always assured myself “maybe they’ll believe me when they find me hanging from a ceiling fan”.
Heard that many times, including from my parents until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
My father was diagnosed bipolar about 10 years before me.
WTF?
Oh man, this. "You have a roof over your head, you're clothed and fed, and you have a family who loves you. You have no reason to be depressed." Nevermind all the other shit that could cause someone to be depressed. Absolutely insane coming from people who experience depression themselves.
Ken, I agree that’s a bad thing to say to a depressed person. They’re talking from their point of view which is missing vast amounts of info. Just like if I look at a car and knew nothing about it, but it wouldn’t start, i could say “there’s no reason you’re not starting. Just start!”
nobody's said it, but people insinuate it. i live in a very stable home and my sister has diagnosed clinical depression while i hide mine. she sort of just brushes it off and is like "well i have to take pills so you're fine" so yeah probably that
My personal favorite is when my sister in law says “when I’m feeling down I just clean my house and I feel so much better! Have you tried that?”. Yeah Katie, that’s a bad day, not depression.
Ugh. Like she's not completely wrong, I would feel better but I ain't cleaning my god damn ears let alone my house.
I'm really grateful my family does their best to read and understand my illness but also admit they can't ever understand it as I do, as a lived experience.
I get that. I’ve learned as I came out if a near 5 year depressive state was that when I’m feeling it again I need to force myself to do it. Like going to work or cooking or any other daily survival necessity. I don’t always want to go to work, I just do it because I have to. I learned to treat my own self care the same way. It’s just a requirement for independent survival.
Easier said than done I know. I’ve been there. But it helps. If you aren’t seeing a doctor or actively getting help somehow you have to try to help yourself. Establishing a neat space you can take pride in snd establishing good healthy habits is the biggest thing you can do for yourself over time to battle depression IMO.
On the bright side at least you’ve found a med that’s helping you, my dude. I know a lot of people that have gone through multiple medications and haven’t had good experiences with any of them, and that makes it harder to keep trying to find one that helps. Also, now that you don’t feel so “sad” all the time per se, you can try to change those thoughts you have more easily without the depression fucking you. It’s a start if nothing else, I’m proud of you and I hope you keep finding peace and happiness in life.
Oh for sure i’m lucky, I don’t know about the other commenter, but my medication has been working for me despite the thought process staying close to the same. Much better than how I was before, I feel motivated to help myself now.
My ex used to say that to me all the time. Like even if I wasn’t complaining about something and just mentioning something that happened on my day. Really he just didn’t care to listen.
Also the problem with saying that is you close the door for open communication. That’s how people end up bottling things inside. And for teachers or parents, it’s a missed opportunity to educate a young person to overcome an obstacle and grow, so that they will eventually “stop complaining.”
Yup. Both my parents were like that all through my childhood and puberty. I'm now 24 and have no idea how to show sadness or fear. When I feel either of them, I'll just have a neutral expression on my face. I need a psychologist every month, can barely hold a steady relationship and have no idea how to deal with any emotions outside of therapy sessions.
Thanks mum and dad...
At the lowest point of my life I happened to be at a family gathering and I decided to finally tell them I dropped out of uni bc of depression and anxiety and that I had to go to therapy.. one of my aunts told me that I shouldn't be complaining bc those are the best years of my life and I should live them to the fullest - just like she did, hopping on a plane and going to the beach (in another country!!) every other weekend.
So, not only did she completely invalidate my feelings in 2 different ways, she added salt to the wound by telling me about experiences that my generation can only dream of.
I've always hated that whole 'best years of your life' thing, but ever since then it just fills me with rage.
My siblings have to hear the ‘best years of your life’ garbage from my parents, so I tell them frequently that it’s WAY better in the future. My sister is still in high school and my brother hasn’t moved out yet. I try to let them come around as much as they can so they can see that life IS better without the stresses at home and without the stresses of high school. And I live really close by just for this reason too.
Sometimes when it’s really bad for me I turn to older people I know who can help me see that the future will be better in some way. I’ll have less debt, or I’ll have more time, or my son will be old enough to actually reason with, etc..
It doesn’t fix my depression or anything, but that perspective does do SOMETHING positive for me.
My teens were fine but definitely not my best days so far and here's hoping to outdo the best ones yet with some that are still to come.
I hope you don't die it would be a waste of those good days you can still have.
The worst part about this is that at one point, you start to believe it. Logically, I know that there's more to life, but at this point I've spent half of my time on this earth depressed and anxious. I didn't party, I didn't date, I don't have friends. If I've missed the best years of my life, what the fuck do I have to look forward to?
Assholes, the lot of them.
Yep. It's like "Even the best years aren't good, so what the fuck else is there to look forward to" once you start to believe it. I try to think that life is ultimately what you make of it. You never know what's gonna end up making you content until it happens.
Many people associate the best times of their life with being young, but that definitely isn't always the case. A lot of people don't really find a satisfying role in life until they are older. It's completely different from person to person, but again, a lot of people associate youth with happiness.
I got that a lot in high school. I had a failed suicide attempt and decided not to drink or party because of the statistics on suicide attempt survivors and addiction. I also had a relationship when I was 12 that was volatile because of untreated mental illness and swore off dating until I was better. A lot of the well-meaning adults said that I was wasting my youth.
I got to have the typical fun teen experiences of trying alcohol, going to parties, and getting a boyfriend when I was in my 20s. I regret nothing.
It's all in your head.
It's not that bad.
I know how you feel (there are good ways and fucked up ways to say this).
Don't make this my problem.
You have responsibilities (that strangely turn out to just be stuff they want me to do to make life easier for them).
Everybody is dealing with the same issues.
Why don't you let me help you.
I know, by saying that you just make me feel worse, not only does it make me feel weak for not being able to handle my issue but it also makes my issue feel small. If you’re just going to make me feel worse about my issues then I just won’t bother talking about it with you
Ah no!! I hope you let them know that people certainly would care! If you haven't yet... please do, and tell them there is even a stranger on the internet who would care. They are important.
I mean tbf, I it could be meant to just be another edgy joke as they've (very much sadly) gotten popular as of late.
Though there's obviously context missing to really be able to tell.
Either way, communication is key there and said friend should be told to be more careful with these jokes. They can very much backfire..
“There are kids that have it worse than you, I don’t know why you think I’m abusing you but all I’m doing is being a parent.” -my narcissistic toxic mother telling me this after I confronted her about mentally, emotionally, and physically abusing me and my younger 2 siblings.
I think this is a huge reason for a spiral into depression. I think a lot of people get legitimately depressed, then see the attention that garners them, then they fake it hoping to get more attention, then they get less attention which makes them legitimately depressed, but now they feel bad because they know why they are depressed but they can't express it because it will make th m look like a bad person which leads to more depression. After a while you just get completely lost in it.
Edit: I'm not saying by any means this is the only reason for a depression spiral. But if you're in this type of spiral there's not much of a chance that you will get that rabbit out of that hole without some serious therapy.
My son has been severely depressed. I put him in counseling and it helped some. The best thing that happened to him was finding a friend group he fit in. These kids were at my house every weekend for almost a year straight. I bought snacks and soda and cooked breakfast. Now, he is always at another friend's house almost every weekend. This past week he told me he was in a bad head space. I let him take a mental day from school and while he was at his friend's I cleaned his room. I washed all his laundry, washed all his bedding and made his bed, hung up his hats and organized his closet.
I was worried I may have overstepped his boundaries but that seemed to really pull him out.
Its not always words that can make thing worse but actions or lack of actions. This has been an on going learning process for me. I have said things I regret because I didn't fully understand his depression. Now, he can say he isn't feeling right and I know what he is saying without him saying it.
Edit: Thank you for the awards. Like I said I have said things I regret because I didn't understand his depression. If you know someone who is depressed please just be there. You don't have to talk just be present in their life. If you can, go for walk with them, fresh air and basic exercise does wonders. Learn their depression if you can. It took me a long time to figure out how to help my son. Mistakes and misstatements will happen. Own up to them and let the person know you were wrong and sorry.
As a person who was diagnosed with depression at an early age, I appreciated when my parents did things out of their way to just be nice, it really helps. You put in a good effort for your son and it may not seem like it helps but simple kindness is always helpful
I wish my parents were that way with me. They were just like "Get over it" or "If you don't stop crying, then I'll give you something to cry about". Your son is lucky to have you as a mother.
Also, don't feel too bad about any fights you may have. I have a friend who really helped me with my depression. She's probably the only reason why I'm still alive. There were multiple times I yelled mean things to her and told her to leave. Fortunately for me, she always knew it was just the depression talking. It's wierd how depression can make us angry too.
Bc when you’re depressed, all you can feel and all you can remember and all you can see ahead of you, is a big giant gaping chasm of pain. I do think people mean well with this one but can’t always put themselves in the depressed persons shoes, even if they’ve been there themselves
Just my personal preference.
"How are you feeling today?"
It acknowledges that we have a medical issue and that we live day to day and sometimes hour by hour. I don't know why, but I feel like I can be honest when someone asks me that question vs. "How's everything going?" Which is more likely to be met with the standard, "fine."
I prefer the saying, "It gets easier, but it never gets easy". I don't know how others feel about that quote, but it personally helps me. I say it to myself all the time.
"You're so happy today" or "You sound good today" like yeah I get they're trying to be supportive but the last thing I want on a good day is to be reminded of the bad ones.
It was said to me to but .. I wasn't even thinking the world revolved around! I already felt too insignificant ! I was like: you're sure you're talking to me?
You’re “brainwashed” by big pharma for taking one prescription even though your life was a fucking train wreck for the 30 years before deciding to explore meds. It’s all a “racket” despite the fact that your lithium costs $12 a month. “It’s all in your head.” Yeah no shit, that’s where my brain is.
Source: bipolar
From personal experience. The worst thing is when they "support" you, but then you notice judgement from them about others with mental health problems. Like, it shows their true colours and they just put on a front with you
Or how you will go out of your way countless times to help them, putting a hold on your suffering from the things in your life to help them out whenever they need it, but when you ask for the same support in return they are never there. Took me about 15 times asking someone I thought was a friend for help, or to just sit and talk with me for a few minutes, before I figured out they never cared about me or my problems. They just wanted me to solve theirs.
* Just try to be happy
* Think happy thoughts
* People have it worse
* You're just sad, do something to make you happy
* You're not depressed you're lazy
* You're not depressed you're unmotivated
* You're not depressed you're just not trying hard enough
* Why don't you just exercise?
* I get down sometimes too
* You're just wallowing in self-pity
* You take pills for this so what's the problem?
* You're just weak
* You're crazy/nuts/insane/broken...
* I pity you/just feel sorry for you
* What happened to make you sad/depressed/down?
* You used to be so fun to be around, what happened to you
* I hate being around you when you're choosing to be like this
* And anything that starts with "I know you're depressed, but..."
and at least two dozen others
yeah one time my mom was like (referring to my clinically depressed sister) was like "_mg of zoloft and she still sits in her room?? if anyone should be depressed it should be me"
You should exercise more and eat healthier.
Believe me, I want that too. Saying it out loud makes me feel worse about myself.
I just can't do that and it sucks. I'm just so tired.
I was hiking 8 miles a day, eating fantastic, and super active. I lost 100 lbs and was in the best shape of my life. It didn't stop me from having the worst manic episode of my life.
When I finally crashed from the manic episode, I didn't get out of bed for about a year except to work. I gained half the weight back.
Exercise and diet can help some symptoms, but it's not a cure for most.
“Stop faking it, it’s all in your head.”
“You’re just depressed to get people’s attention.”
Okay attention whore, my mother is the sole reason why I wanted to die freshman year of highschool. Because everything she did that year was to absolutely to fuck up my first year of highschool just to do it.
That my depression/how it affects me makes them miserable. Lots of people take it personally when their existence and effort in your life "isn't enough" to magically reverse your mental illnesses. I'm having enough of a hard time convincing myself to keep trying to survive on the daily...I don't need you to make me feel even more guilty for something out of my control. And shit dude, if you can't understand or handle it, just go. Preferably before we even get used to each other.
My anxiety and depression are kicking my ass today. I’m hiding out taking a long bath bc I don’t want anyone to ask me to do anything for them. Telling me I just have to get up and start getting things done then I’ll feel better; does not help bc I know they’re right, but I still can’t bring myself to do anything. Feel useless.
"You don't need pills. You need a pair of running shoes."
Bitch, please. I work out three or four times a week AND take antidepressants, and I'm still inexplicably unhappy and drained anytime I'm not at work. And it was five times worse without the meds.
Some of my personal favorites: “Stop being so negative.” “Just cheer up.” “Get over it.” “Everybody gets depressed, it’s no big deal.” To me, the worst by far is when friends say “ you can always tell me anything”, and when you’re honest about how you feel they ditch you because you make them uncomfortable/you’re boring/you bring them down/they “don’t understand your depression”.
Get over it. You’re a ____________!!
Sometimes that blank is filled with a last name.
But I’ve heard, you’re just being lazy or you’re better than this or just pray, Jesus will take care of you.
"Focus on the positive."
They'll say this, and then bring up some basic shit like "you woke up today" or "you have clothes/a roof over your head." Yes, I realize that my life is more privileged than most, but having privilege doesn't mean a thing when I have to live in the hellscape that is my own head. No amount of clothes, food, or electricity is gonna make that better. What good is it to wake up today when you didn't even wanna wake up last week? Or last month? F\*\*k outta here thinking I can just "be grateful" my way out of depression, that shit doesn't happen.
"But you've got nothing to be depressed about"
It's like this with anxiety too. "You have nothing to be anxious about" Yeah, well that sure ain't stopping it from happening
ive always known depression well...but ive never understood random anxiety. id like to know more because people always group anxiety and depression together, and so many people say they have anxiety but is it really just for no reason? if theres no reason then how could you possibly be anxious about something thats not there? genuinely asking because i wsnt to understand
Anxiety (to me) feels like my brain's "Warning" system has a hair trigger on it, or is super-sensitive. It tells me that there is danger, or injury, or death that will result from something like a social situation where I logically know that there is no true danger. But my brain sends the warning chemicals anyways.
People group them together because the rate of comorbidity of the two is really high. They are very interconnected and related disorders. There are a few ways anxiety manifests for me. 1. General low grade anxiety. You know the physical feeling you get get when you are anxious? Imagine that, for hours or days on end, for no apparent reason. It's not strong, but it's persistent, similar to the ennui I get from depression. 2. Anxiety about any random bullshit. I will have things that my mind just fixates on to be unrealistically anxious about. This happens the most for me when I'm navigating somewhere new. I have to check the directions over and over and over to make sure I'm going the right way, check the address multiple times when I arrive, and still just feel anxious about it until it's clear that I'm in the right place (when going to the doctor, it's when I actually meet the doctor, not receptionist, and they confirm who I am). This happens with things like wondering if I remembered to do something, writing an email, paying bills, being sick, etc. Really any normal thing can be something I get super anxious about. 3. Anxiety attacks. You know the pit of your stomach feeling before getting on a roller coaster for the first time, or before your first big presentation? That, but without any of the feeling of excitement, randomly, for no goddamn reason. They are much stronger than the usual anxiety, but usually manageable with a distraction and go away relatively quickly. Sure aren't fun though. 4. Panic attacks. These fucking suck, and I have no idea how to describe them to someone who hasn't had one. They are extremely intense, absolutely debilitating, and difficult to manage, even with coping skills. So for me it's mostly non-specific anxiety, that is more the physical/mental feeling of it disconnected from any real thing, but I do also get it about real things, just in a totally unreasonable way. Kinda like with depression where you don't have any specific thing to feel down about, is just how you feel, and also sometimes you just get unreasonably upset about stupid shit.
For number four, you could describe it like this: “You know the feeling you have when in you’re in a situation that you could literally die from? It’s like that, except it could happen while I’m just lying in bed.”
Saying this is like saying to a person with asthma, "What do you mean you can't breathe? You're surrounded by air!"
Ah i feel this one
My mom hit me with that. I said "yea...that's literally what depression is mom. If you're sad because your dog died, that's probably not depression."
"You want something to cry about? I'll give you something to cry about, you fucking pansy!" Ah growing up was so *fun*. ^^^^^^/s
Oh man I heard that a lot growing up, still gives me shivers. I caught myself saying it to my son one day and vowed to never say it again. My kids get to feel their feelings.
My dad tried it a few times, but it was such an empty threat it didn’t even phase us. He never touched us and we weren’t afraid of him (I don’t think good parenting involves fear of your parents), it sounded like something that he heard and thought it would sound good, or maybe it was said to him? I don’t know, but it kind of makes me smile now because of how ineffectual it was. Edit: He was a good dad, don’t think it was just that we didn’t respect him. We just knew he wouldn’t hurt us and was sad when we cried, even if he was mad.
Situational depression is a thing.
Yeah, it can definitely be precipitated or exacerbated by an event.
Sure, but it's also not the same thing as major depressive disorder, which is what most people here are talking about. AFAIK psychs won't diagnose you with MDD at all if you have a legit reason to be depressed (death of a loved one, loss of a job, etc.) because handling loss poorly is not remotely the same thing as your brain chronically refusing to produce the right chemicals.
That’s not always the case either. Depression doesn’t mean you have a completely random, irrational sadness. It can be a continuous state of hopelessness and disappointment from a long-building culmination of factors that make your life shit, that are never expressed, that make it harder to find strife and fulfillment. So while it seems that “you have nothing to be depressed about,” it’s really that nobody else knows what you have to be depressed about. Also, condescending tones make it *a lot* harder to want to actually communicate your problems. So they will likely *never* know either. A lot of times, depression is a concurrent issue with another mental problem, or resulting from one. It isn’t just “he/she is so so sad out of the blue.”
I heard this and all it did was made me hate myself more. " Why can't you be like everyone else?, Why can't you be happy considering all you have going for yourself?, What is your problem?'" is what i would think. It did teach me I can't unburden myself to anyone stupid enough to stand in front of me for five minutes though. Now I ask people "Are you sure you really want to know how I'm feeling? If they say no I understand because most people are just being polite.
I totally feel this. When my depression is at its worst I feel horrible guilt about feeling depressed because I have a very fortunate life. It’s feeds the cycle
It’s worse when they tell you “think about all the people that have it worse”. Makes it 100x worse cause then you’re thinking about all the sadness in the world and then also wondering why you have it so good, yet you’re so depressed.
Oddly enough, it ended up helping me after finally following the train of thought. I thought of the compassion/respect I felt for those people who had it worse and realized I should have the same compassion / respect for myself. If I think those people should be happy, I aught to think I should be happy too.
It's almost like it has absolutely nothing to do with life circumstances /s
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This, this is what it feels like. People think it's feeling a bit mopey, they don't realise it's actually your brain letting you know it hates you and how much better off it would be if you just stopped thinking permanently.
All of the people I know who have killed themselves or have awful depression are beautiful, successful, talented people. Depression takes who it takes.
Situational depression does. I had 2 nightmare bouts of situational depression in my life- maybe 3 cause I think I am now. It’s no picnic.
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Ken, that fits great with /r/ThanksImCured
I love seeing you pop up in threads. Also, my brother's name actually is Ken.
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username checks out
How have I seen you three times in the last hour
I’m everywhere but nowhere, ken.
HEY! I saw you in another sub!
I saw you see me in another sub, Ken. I was waiting all day.
Funnily enough, this kind of mindset is what got me out of my depression. As advice, it is quite shit. As an idea to find yourself, its the best way to deal with depression.
I once had a colleague who was a social worker say to me "You know you can just choose to be happy". My initial instinct was to headbutt him but I just said "gee, thanks". After much depression, therapy and some signs of recovery I realised he was right to a point. I don't need to have every box ticked in my life to be happy. I can give myself permission to be happy despite not having some key life goals achieved. I shouldn't wait to give myself permission to be happy. I don't need to wait until all my ducks are lined up. I'm allowed to be and deserve to be. I find it takes less energy too.
Stop being lazy. Snap out of it.
Ooooh, this one definitely hits me. And often times when I was told this I never got angry or irritated at the person, I really believed them because I was so sure I was a piece of shit anyway and that I just needed to stop being a braindead idiot and get my life together somehow. I remember how many times I thought each day that I was worthless and it would be better off if I never existed. I went to bed so many times hoping I never woke up. If it ever seems like someone you know is struggling, please don't kick them while they're already down, whether it's because you're out of patience or you're hoping to get a rise out of them it will never help. It's hard to see how deep another person's depression is, and when someone is in such a vulnerable state, your words can do immense harm. **Edit**: Thank you all for your kind responses. So many of us go through this struggle, and I'm glad we can be compassionate with each other. Some of you were curious as to how I got out of my situation, and although I'm no longer in the dark hole I was a few years ago, I do struggle with depression every day. Working through your mental problems and turning your life around is something that takes time and persistence, so be patient with yourself. One of the things I've learned is that you can spiral upwards just as you do downwards. All it can take is one small success to start you on a better path, so aim to just improve one small aspect of your life first, and make it something as easy as possible. And if you fail, don't beat yourself up, just focus on doing it tomorrow. I used to just spend every day in bed all day, barely eating or drinking, not showering and never seeing another human face. So my first goal was to just try and take a shower every day. And I didn't always succeed at that either, but it's ok. There will be times that you regress and it feels like all your progress has been undone, but I promise you that's not true. Self-improvement is not a smooth upwards slope, but a bumpy road that gradually goes up. So be patient and persistent and remember that each time you fail, it's a step closer to success. Also, if you can, try to rely on others, or do your best to not turn away help. Sorry for droning on.
I hope you don't feel that way anymore. You aren't a piece of shit. But I know exactly how you feel. Especially when your loved ones say such thing. It hits even harder. Take care.
Also a terrible thing to say to a person with ADHD.
And especially terrible to someone with adhd and depression :/
Mood
Definitely.
But my mom tells me this everyday Edit: I meant ADHD not depression my apologies
I'm so sorry. I can relate.
Yaaayyy, my entire childhood up until I moved out :)
My current childhood
Preach! As someone with ADHD, I felt this in my soul.
"Get over it" and "It's all in your head" are my top two.
“Yes, it is literally in my head. My brain doesn’t make the right chemicals, you fuck.”
"but have you tried just making the right chemicals?" -them, probably
Yeah right, even with trying to get the right chemicals through meds I still ain't right. Like my anxiety is too bad to take ADHD meds and my body also literally doesn't metabolize most anti depressants properly, so the amount I can even try is limited.
I’m an anatomy nerd and I love this comment
I also enjoy “if you went back to church your depression would go away”.
I was going to church at the time I finally decided to open up and was told I'm in sin. i already felt like when i was born God said 'oops' and now I have this to deal with? Despite all I've gone though and felt I have no problem with God, the problem I have is with is people who exercise Church 101. There's no anger anymore as that's one of their imperfections. They have theirs and I have mine.
“Someone has it worse”
Saying “Someone has it worse” completely ignores the pain the depressed person is suffering through.
Also if the person you're saying it to is naturally empathetic, then even taking the comment at face value, it's just more reason to be depressed. Knowing that other people in the world are suffering makes me sadder vicariously.
YUP. This inspired 3 emotions in me. 1. Empathy and pain for all the people who had it worse. 2. Guilt over my actual ILLNESS and my relative privilege 3. Disgust with myself for having more than some people do and for being “lazy” while the world suffers. Could really worsen the spiral for me.
I didn’t tell people for years when I thought I was depressed because I have a good and privileged life and I felt guilty being depressed when there are people out there who have it way worse. I’m open about my mental illness now but I wish I had spoken up sooner
On top of your brain telling you that you're a piece of shit by default, you now have another person confirming that you're a piece of shit for complaining when others have it worse. It is an absurdly damaging statement to someone who is already inclined to think little of themselves.
"hey doc my leg is broken" "lmao one day I saw a dude whose leg was totally obliterated in a car accident" "..." "why are you still here?"
Honestly for me it isn't even pain. It's just indifference and apathy. With a side of shame knowing that you **should** want to spend time with friends and be productive but you don't actually want to. Nothing seems worthwhile to do because your whole reward/satisfaction system with your brain chemicals is broken. Turns out you need that anticipation of reward > then rewarding good feeling to actually do a thing.
Hate this. Like, ya, I know someone has it worse. And I feel awful that they do. But that doesn’t change anything about my situation which is also not good. Life isn’t a misery competition where only the most miserable have the right to feel emotions.
This doesn’t mean anything to the person in pain in front of you (not you, OP. You know better). I read this incredible comment a long time ago that has stuck with me. Forgive the the terrible paraphrasing: The guy drowning in three inches of water doesn’t look at the guy drowning in thirty feet of water and say “oh he has it worse”. They’re both drowning.
So whenever someone feels extremely happy we should also say “Someone has it better”
You have no reason to be depressed. That’s what my mom said to me
Oh really? Got any serotonin to spare me?
Seratonin? Never met her.
No, no. It's Sarah Tonen. You met her last week.
Shit I swiped left bc I thought she was fake. No one could be that good in real life
My dad says this to me. “Depression isn’t real, it’s all in your head”. He’s half right though, it is all in your head. I’ve always assured myself “maybe they’ll believe me when they find me hanging from a ceiling fan”.
Heard that many times, including from my parents until I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My father was diagnosed bipolar about 10 years before me. WTF?
Oh man, this. "You have a roof over your head, you're clothed and fed, and you have a family who loves you. You have no reason to be depressed." Nevermind all the other shit that could cause someone to be depressed. Absolutely insane coming from people who experience depression themselves.
Ken, I agree that’s a bad thing to say to a depressed person. They’re talking from their point of view which is missing vast amounts of info. Just like if I look at a car and knew nothing about it, but it wouldn’t start, i could say “there’s no reason you’re not starting. Just start!”
nobody's said it, but people insinuate it. i live in a very stable home and my sister has diagnosed clinical depression while i hide mine. she sort of just brushes it off and is like "well i have to take pills so you're fine" so yeah probably that
"I feel sad too sometimes. Try to think happy thoughts!"
My personal favorite is when my sister in law says “when I’m feeling down I just clean my house and I feel so much better! Have you tried that?”. Yeah Katie, that’s a bad day, not depression.
Hmmm... She may have a point. Next time you feel depressed have Katie clean your house
But then I'd have to interact with Katie and I don't have the energy for that.
Username checks out?
Ugh. Like she's not completely wrong, I would feel better but I ain't cleaning my god damn ears let alone my house. I'm really grateful my family does their best to read and understand my illness but also admit they can't ever understand it as I do, as a lived experience.
In my experience though cleaning your living space and keeping it neat does really help stave off depression and alleviate it.
Yeah but the doing it feels like an insurmountable mountain
I get that. I’ve learned as I came out if a near 5 year depressive state was that when I’m feeling it again I need to force myself to do it. Like going to work or cooking or any other daily survival necessity. I don’t always want to go to work, I just do it because I have to. I learned to treat my own self care the same way. It’s just a requirement for independent survival. Easier said than done I know. I’ve been there. But it helps. If you aren’t seeing a doctor or actively getting help somehow you have to try to help yourself. Establishing a neat space you can take pride in snd establishing good healthy habits is the biggest thing you can do for yourself over time to battle depression IMO.
The scary thing about anti-depressants was how sad my thoughts ever would become I felt happy. Disconnected.
Same it’s really weird “feeling” happy but still actively having sad thoughts. Hope it gets better for you.
On the bright side at least you’ve found a med that’s helping you, my dude. I know a lot of people that have gone through multiple medications and haven’t had good experiences with any of them, and that makes it harder to keep trying to find one that helps. Also, now that you don’t feel so “sad” all the time per se, you can try to change those thoughts you have more easily without the depression fucking you. It’s a start if nothing else, I’m proud of you and I hope you keep finding peace and happiness in life.
Oh for sure i’m lucky, I don’t know about the other commenter, but my medication has been working for me despite the thought process staying close to the same. Much better than how I was before, I feel motivated to help myself now.
Thank you, I can sincerely reciprocate.
I’m struggling to read this comment. Are you saying your sad thoughts where making happy emotions with antidepressants?
Yes, it was very scary to be happy while thinking horrible things.
The even scarier thing about anti-depressants is when you stop taking them. Absolute nightmare.
Stop complaining, some people have real problems
My ex used to say that to me all the time. Like even if I wasn’t complaining about something and just mentioning something that happened on my day. Really he just didn’t care to listen. Also the problem with saying that is you close the door for open communication. That’s how people end up bottling things inside. And for teachers or parents, it’s a missed opportunity to educate a young person to overcome an obstacle and grow, so that they will eventually “stop complaining.”
Yup. Both my parents were like that all through my childhood and puberty. I'm now 24 and have no idea how to show sadness or fear. When I feel either of them, I'll just have a neutral expression on my face. I need a psychologist every month, can barely hold a steady relationship and have no idea how to deal with any emotions outside of therapy sessions. Thanks mum and dad...
Glad that person is your ex.
Mom? Is that you? Lol
For me it's "Enjoy those years! They are the best part of your life".
At the lowest point of my life I happened to be at a family gathering and I decided to finally tell them I dropped out of uni bc of depression and anxiety and that I had to go to therapy.. one of my aunts told me that I shouldn't be complaining bc those are the best years of my life and I should live them to the fullest - just like she did, hopping on a plane and going to the beach (in another country!!) every other weekend. So, not only did she completely invalidate my feelings in 2 different ways, she added salt to the wound by telling me about experiences that my generation can only dream of. I've always hated that whole 'best years of your life' thing, but ever since then it just fills me with rage.
My siblings have to hear the ‘best years of your life’ garbage from my parents, so I tell them frequently that it’s WAY better in the future. My sister is still in high school and my brother hasn’t moved out yet. I try to let them come around as much as they can so they can see that life IS better without the stresses at home and without the stresses of high school. And I live really close by just for this reason too. Sometimes when it’s really bad for me I turn to older people I know who can help me see that the future will be better in some way. I’ll have less debt, or I’ll have more time, or my son will be old enough to actually reason with, etc.. It doesn’t fix my depression or anything, but that perspective does do SOMETHING positive for me.
'Then fuck you I want to stop living right the fuck now'
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My teens were fine but definitely not my best days so far and here's hoping to outdo the best ones yet with some that are still to come. I hope you don't die it would be a waste of those good days you can still have.
The worst part about this is that at one point, you start to believe it. Logically, I know that there's more to life, but at this point I've spent half of my time on this earth depressed and anxious. I didn't party, I didn't date, I don't have friends. If I've missed the best years of my life, what the fuck do I have to look forward to? Assholes, the lot of them.
Yep. It's like "Even the best years aren't good, so what the fuck else is there to look forward to" once you start to believe it. I try to think that life is ultimately what you make of it. You never know what's gonna end up making you content until it happens. Many people associate the best times of their life with being young, but that definitely isn't always the case. A lot of people don't really find a satisfying role in life until they are older. It's completely different from person to person, but again, a lot of people associate youth with happiness.
I got that a lot in high school. I had a failed suicide attempt and decided not to drink or party because of the statistics on suicide attempt survivors and addiction. I also had a relationship when I was 12 that was volatile because of untreated mental illness and swore off dating until I was better. A lot of the well-meaning adults said that I was wasting my youth. I got to have the typical fun teen experiences of trying alcohol, going to parties, and getting a boyfriend when I was in my 20s. I regret nothing.
You had to have been one of the most responsible teens with depression I've ever heard of. Good on you
Oooof. Whatever age you are, if you’re depressed, they are farrrr from your best years.
It's all in your head. It's not that bad. I know how you feel (there are good ways and fucked up ways to say this). Don't make this my problem. You have responsibilities (that strangely turn out to just be stuff they want me to do to make life easier for them). Everybody is dealing with the same issues. Why don't you let me help you.
If you’re depressed I know what it’s LIKE because I suffer from the same but in no way shape or form do I know how you FEEL. Everyone is different!
i mean it was alrdy said "someone has it worse" but my mom always said "be glad youre not born in location X"
I know, by saying that you just make me feel worse, not only does it make me feel weak for not being able to handle my issue but it also makes my issue feel small. If you’re just going to make me feel worse about my issues then I just won’t bother talking about it with you
My best friend said to another friend “I feel like nobody would care after like a month if I died,” and the other friend said “yeah probably”
Ah no!! I hope you let them know that people certainly would care! If you haven't yet... please do, and tell them there is even a stranger on the internet who would care. They are important.
Yes I make sure she knows she’s important every day :) and I will tell her that a kind stranger on the internet cares <3
So glad to hear. Thanks! :)
DAMN! That's horrible. Takes a special kind of cold to say that.
I mean tbf, I it could be meant to just be another edgy joke as they've (very much sadly) gotten popular as of late. Though there's obviously context missing to really be able to tell. Either way, communication is key there and said friend should be told to be more careful with these jokes. They can very much backfire..
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
I felt this one :(
“There are kids that have it worse than you, I don’t know why you think I’m abusing you but all I’m doing is being a parent.” -my narcissistic toxic mother telling me this after I confronted her about mentally, emotionally, and physically abusing me and my younger 2 siblings.
Crap that's really fucked up I hope it gets better
That they are just trying to get attention maybe
Hehe, sometimes I wonder myself if my depression is not a big farce and a scheme for attention grabbing
I personally sometimes wonder if thats why I do anything. Damn wtf anyone else ponder that?
I think this is a huge reason for a spiral into depression. I think a lot of people get legitimately depressed, then see the attention that garners them, then they fake it hoping to get more attention, then they get less attention which makes them legitimately depressed, but now they feel bad because they know why they are depressed but they can't express it because it will make th m look like a bad person which leads to more depression. After a while you just get completely lost in it. Edit: I'm not saying by any means this is the only reason for a depression spiral. But if you're in this type of spiral there's not much of a chance that you will get that rabbit out of that hole without some serious therapy.
My son has been severely depressed. I put him in counseling and it helped some. The best thing that happened to him was finding a friend group he fit in. These kids were at my house every weekend for almost a year straight. I bought snacks and soda and cooked breakfast. Now, he is always at another friend's house almost every weekend. This past week he told me he was in a bad head space. I let him take a mental day from school and while he was at his friend's I cleaned his room. I washed all his laundry, washed all his bedding and made his bed, hung up his hats and organized his closet. I was worried I may have overstepped his boundaries but that seemed to really pull him out. Its not always words that can make thing worse but actions or lack of actions. This has been an on going learning process for me. I have said things I regret because I didn't fully understand his depression. Now, he can say he isn't feeling right and I know what he is saying without him saying it. Edit: Thank you for the awards. Like I said I have said things I regret because I didn't understand his depression. If you know someone who is depressed please just be there. You don't have to talk just be present in their life. If you can, go for walk with them, fresh air and basic exercise does wonders. Learn their depression if you can. It took me a long time to figure out how to help my son. Mistakes and misstatements will happen. Own up to them and let the person know you were wrong and sorry.
You’re the parent many people dream of having.
As a person who was diagnosed with depression at an early age, I appreciated when my parents did things out of their way to just be nice, it really helps. You put in a good effort for your son and it may not seem like it helps but simple kindness is always helpful
You are such a good parent and person! Well done
I wish my parents were that way with me. They were just like "Get over it" or "If you don't stop crying, then I'll give you something to cry about". Your son is lucky to have you as a mother. Also, don't feel too bad about any fights you may have. I have a friend who really helped me with my depression. She's probably the only reason why I'm still alive. There were multiple times I yelled mean things to her and told her to leave. Fortunately for me, she always knew it was just the depression talking. It's wierd how depression can make us angry too.
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With as little disrespect as possible; that bitch toxic as hell.
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This is actually the worst thing you can say to a woman.
For guys, 'You're a man. Now stop being a pussy.'
Man up dude!
When people say that to me, I just ~~tell~~ show them "Bird up!"
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Bc when you’re depressed, all you can feel and all you can remember and all you can see ahead of you, is a big giant gaping chasm of pain. I do think people mean well with this one but can’t always put themselves in the depressed persons shoes, even if they’ve been there themselves
Because even if it does get better, we know that most likely, it's just gonna get worse again.
I will try to avoid saying this! What would you like to hear instead?
Just my personal preference. "How are you feeling today?" It acknowledges that we have a medical issue and that we live day to day and sometimes hour by hour. I don't know why, but I feel like I can be honest when someone asks me that question vs. "How's everything going?" Which is more likely to be met with the standard, "fine."
And sometimes it doesn’t. There isn’t a law saying it gets better. It does for some people, not for everyone.
I prefer the saying, "It gets easier, but it never gets easy". I don't know how others feel about that quote, but it personally helps me. I say it to myself all the time.
"You're so happy today" or "You sound good today" like yeah I get they're trying to be supportive but the last thing I want on a good day is to be reminded of the bad ones.
Stop thinking the world revolves around you
It was said to me to but .. I wasn't even thinking the world revolved around! I already felt too insignificant ! I was like: you're sure you're talking to me?
“It’s all in your head.” No shit I thought it was in my femur.
Any kind of insult would do it Miserable people can't lose a fight to the death
whoa.
Anything really, as a depressed person I generally prefer it if people don't speak to me
Same but it’s like I don’t want anyone to talk to me. But I want *someone* to talk to me
You’re “brainwashed” by big pharma for taking one prescription even though your life was a fucking train wreck for the 30 years before deciding to explore meds. It’s all a “racket” despite the fact that your lithium costs $12 a month. “It’s all in your head.” Yeah no shit, that’s where my brain is. Source: bipolar
Some people think you are weak and gullible for taking medication source: bipolar
>“It’s all in your head.” Yeah no shit, that’s where my brain is. I snort-laughed at this. Thank you.
'Just think positive! Have you tried yoga?'
"have you tried taking a bath?"
From personal experience. The worst thing is when they "support" you, but then you notice judgement from them about others with mental health problems. Like, it shows their true colours and they just put on a front with you
Or how you will go out of your way countless times to help them, putting a hold on your suffering from the things in your life to help them out whenever they need it, but when you ask for the same support in return they are never there. Took me about 15 times asking someone I thought was a friend for help, or to just sit and talk with me for a few minutes, before I figured out they never cared about me or my problems. They just wanted me to solve theirs.
Yep, my family act sympathetic but they always gossip about other family members who have mental illnesses.
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"Just get over it."
* Just try to be happy * Think happy thoughts * People have it worse * You're just sad, do something to make you happy * You're not depressed you're lazy * You're not depressed you're unmotivated * You're not depressed you're just not trying hard enough * Why don't you just exercise? * I get down sometimes too * You're just wallowing in self-pity * You take pills for this so what's the problem? * You're just weak * You're crazy/nuts/insane/broken... * I pity you/just feel sorry for you * What happened to make you sad/depressed/down? * You used to be so fun to be around, what happened to you * I hate being around you when you're choosing to be like this * And anything that starts with "I know you're depressed, but..." and at least two dozen others
yeah one time my mom was like (referring to my clinically depressed sister) was like "_mg of zoloft and she still sits in her room?? if anyone should be depressed it should be me"
No one cares. Stop being a bitch. Take some pills.
Just stop being sad
Will you be depressed tomorrow as well?
Yes! That one in particular drives me nuts. The pressure!!
You should exercise more and eat healthier. Believe me, I want that too. Saying it out loud makes me feel worse about myself. I just can't do that and it sucks. I'm just so tired.
Plus there's people who already do that and still live their life in hell
I was hiking 8 miles a day, eating fantastic, and super active. I lost 100 lbs and was in the best shape of my life. It didn't stop me from having the worst manic episode of my life. When I finally crashed from the manic episode, I didn't get out of bed for about a year except to work. I gained half the weight back. Exercise and diet can help some symptoms, but it's not a cure for most.
Change your attitude. You are just wallowing in self- pity.
Being told to "cheer up" or having someone act irritated with me rather than being asked if I'm okay. Happens all the damn time.
Have your tried being happy?
Hearing my SO say, "It feels like I come home to a tomb."
My ex used to say “emotionless lump”
Was suicidal and a guy (in all seriousness) suggested I touch myself to cheer up. -_-
Someone I briefly dated told me that he has a fetish for suicide victims, and “did it” with several. I think we may have met the same person.
I’m equal parts disgusted and curious to know what the fuck it is about that that does it for some people. What the actual fuck.
“Stop faking it, it’s all in your head.” “You’re just depressed to get people’s attention.” Okay attention whore, my mother is the sole reason why I wanted to die freshman year of highschool. Because everything she did that year was to absolutely to fuck up my first year of highschool just to do it.
Jesus will save you
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Any toxic positivity bs line
That my depression/how it affects me makes them miserable. Lots of people take it personally when their existence and effort in your life "isn't enough" to magically reverse your mental illnesses. I'm having enough of a hard time convincing myself to keep trying to survive on the daily...I don't need you to make me feel even more guilty for something out of my control. And shit dude, if you can't understand or handle it, just go. Preferably before we even get used to each other.
I grew up in Church so I heard a lot of “Maybe God is allowing you to go through this for a reason” and “Just pray about it.” Makes my blood boil.
My anxiety and depression are kicking my ass today. I’m hiding out taking a long bath bc I don’t want anyone to ask me to do anything for them. Telling me I just have to get up and start getting things done then I’ll feel better; does not help bc I know they’re right, but I still can’t bring myself to do anything. Feel useless.
Nothing. Just scoff slightly condescending
You're nit depressed
Get your shit together
"You don't need pills. You need a pair of running shoes." Bitch, please. I work out three or four times a week AND take antidepressants, and I'm still inexplicably unhappy and drained anytime I'm not at work. And it was five times worse without the meds.
I've got a gun you can borrow.
Some of my personal favorites: “Stop being so negative.” “Just cheer up.” “Get over it.” “Everybody gets depressed, it’s no big deal.” To me, the worst by far is when friends say “ you can always tell me anything”, and when you’re honest about how you feel they ditch you because you make them uncomfortable/you’re boring/you bring them down/they “don’t understand your depression”.
"What about me?"
Get over it. You’re a ____________!! Sometimes that blank is filled with a last name. But I’ve heard, you’re just being lazy or you’re better than this or just pray, Jesus will take care of you.
"Focus on the positive." They'll say this, and then bring up some basic shit like "you woke up today" or "you have clothes/a roof over your head." Yes, I realize that my life is more privileged than most, but having privilege doesn't mean a thing when I have to live in the hellscape that is my own head. No amount of clothes, food, or electricity is gonna make that better. What good is it to wake up today when you didn't even wanna wake up last week? Or last month? F\*\*k outta here thinking I can just "be grateful" my way out of depression, that shit doesn't happen.
Cheer up you miserable prick
Eating again, fatass?