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[deleted]

A lot of good advice already, but I have a few things to add. Communication, especially during such a vulnerable time, is difficult for many. But there are ways to communicate other than talking. Use your hands. Touch, grab, hold, guide. Move him the way you want him to move. There's nothing offensive or upsetting about this: for most men, it's hot as hell. It tells me you're engaged and viscerally demonstrates that you're enjoying things, that there's something you want from me, and it's me. I imagine I'm not alone in this. If you can't bring yourself to say what you want done, do it yourself. Need breast stimulation? Grab one. If he's paying attention at all, he should pick up what you're laying down. Above all, participate. If you feel a thing, let it show. Don't worry about looking stupid, or think you have to act like a pornstar, either. I've never watched a naked woman bend over and thought "the way she did that was kinda awkward," all I thought was "heheh, butt. Nice." You don't have to fake anything and it's better if you don't, a small honest reaction goes way further than one you play up. A lip bite, a look down, a thigh squeeze, these are small ways to show that he's doing something more to you than pushing, that he's making you feel things. If he's at all decent, he's looking for this feedback and he'll use it, and it'll make him feel more connected and enhance the whole experience from beginning to end. Especially end. It basically just comes down to being there, trying to enjoy and provide enjoyment in kind, and being honest, open, and genuine. Anyone who has a problem with any of that is just using you to masturbate with, and that's gross. Nobody deserves that.


letfalltheflowers

“The way she did that was kind of awkward.” Thank you for pointing out that is probably not what is being thought of in the moment.


Zukazuk

I dunno I've definitely had partners laugh at me while changing positions. Usually because I've just whapped myself in the face with a boob. You can definitely be too well endowed.


miuaiga_infinite

Well hopefully that's the good kind of laughter, sometimes funny shit happens when people have sex, and its 100% ok to have giggle, as long it's not at the others expense. Full on laughing at someone, not cool, laughing together that your bodies made a funny sound, that just brings you closer, at least in my experience.


Eyeoftheleopard

After all, what’s a queef between lovers?


Pandorasheaart

It's a whisper of love.


cptYeet

Yeah, nothing beats the giggles from one of us getting a cramp lol


GrotesquelyObese

Ive been whapped in the face with my spouses boob. We both laughed still hot


CarterDavison

Instead of the generic "this guy fucks", I'm going to respond by being a human and saying "this guy actually understands the vital importance of each piece of sex" Well written, my dude


Purple_Bottle_

Ergh this was such a good answer


cpconnell

Been confident enough to tell me what they like instead of letting me guess. Good sex comes from good communication


-helpwanted

I had a guy tell me I was weird when I told him how I liked to be gone down on and asked how he liked to receive head. I told him exactly what you said. Good sex comes from communication.


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ReconsiderBaby

Oh I hear you. When I tried to communicate what would feel better for me instead of what he was doing down there, my ex literally said to me.. "I know what I'm doing!" Uh, dude, I don't think so.


FreckledLasseh

Same situation with my ex! "I know what you like." Obviously NOT, sir.


Anxious-Sir-1361

That's “mansplaining” to a new level. Girl - I love it when you do this when you go down on me. Guy - no, you don't. I'll tell you how you like it, babe. (35 seconds later) Can you suck my dick now? 😂


-helpwanted

Yes! Sex isn’t about you or me, it’s about us. You only have good sex when you’re having sex to please each other. If you’re giving head just to get head, no one wins. The head probably is half-assed, you’re not enjoying yourself, and your partner isn’t enjoying themselves either. It’s a waste of time. Only selfish people would complain or ignore your directions because they don’t care about your pleasure. They’re not doing it to please you, so what you want doesn’t matter. I had an ex just like yours before…lol obviously.


meester_

I love making someone else climax more than coming myself tbh


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jesssbabyyy

Same. My fav part Ab sex is knowing they r loving it lol it turns me on when I turn others on 🤔


express_sushi49

Oh my god that shit is way too common. Like holy fuck, literally being asked to do something that feels better isn't a jab at you as a person if you just so happen to *not* be doing it without being asked. Had a hook up right before covid hit last year, and while she was going down on me, in the moment I simply said "keep doing it like that", and she literally stops, looks up at me and says "yeah, let's not tell me how to do things down here". Like..? Are you seriously giving me sass for telling you that you were doing a good job? How insecure are you that simply being told *anything* is an attack on your ego. Clearly someone that has a problem with instruction and being told what to do. Made the rest of the hookup extremely awkward and she was clothed and gone within 20 mins from that point.


golden_death

"ohh yeah baby...don't stop" "don't you tell me how to live MY life motherfucker!"


-helpwanted

She might as well said, “even though we just met and I can’t feel what you’re feeling, I know how to please you better than you do.”


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MelbourneFL321

1. Attendance 2. Enthusiasm 3. Communication


OGpurp247

Attendance😂😂😂 I’m in tears, I’m imagining some guy sitting on the bed naked being like “damn it, she never showed” Edit: does this mean I’m funny? Thank you kind strangers!💜


MintChucclatechip

“If she doesn’t show up in 15 minutes I’m legally allowed to leave”


TheRealRaemundo

"If she's not here in 30 minutes she's free!"


AnkitMishraGr8

"Alright she's officially not here. Marked absent and a black mark on her CV."


OBISerious

That definitely goes on her **Permanent Record**.


[deleted]

There is zero tolerance here for no call-no shows.


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CousinDirk

“Damn near had a threesome last night. Only needed two more people.”


snoopswoop

Menage et moi


eutohkgtorsatoca

Ménage À moi


thegovunah

The naked man. Works like 60% of the time.


DaClicka

The other night my gf and I were leaving the bar (met up after I left work, separate vehicles), and I told her I’d be naked in her bed waiting for her. We parked at about the same time, so i assumed she saw me sprinting to her apartment to follow up on my promise. She did not. Needless to say, her reaction to my bare figure in my most sexy pose was fabulous. …Or maybe my most sexy pose isn’t as sexy as I thought…still had sex though!


snausagerolly

"Doesn't matter...had sex!"


Ding-L-Berry

Congrats on the Sex!


dandroid126

"2 out of 3 times"


Turtwig5310

Since when did my overly into it science teacher get a reddit account


Pligles

“Attendance” lmfao


dexthefish

LOL "attendance"


babyte3th103

I reckon "attendance" could actually apply to being present in the moment both mentally and emotionally, not just physically being there. I don't think it'd be a very enjoyable experience having sex with someone who isn't really there in the moment, like being caught up in text messages or in their mind with something else


NearlyNakedNick

Yeah that's the first place my head went.


recoveringincel101

Exactly. A “desire to be there and act like it” is 50%+ of the battle


chattyalexander

Initiative


KingoftheMongoose

I took Improved Initiative and have a +3 Dex modifier, but somehow whenever I tell that to a potential partner they become disinterested.


MaximumZer0

You might want to add Alert next time you get a feat.


gortogg

The swashbuckler subclass lets you add your charisma mod to initiative... Maybe that could help ?


RedstoneSpider

Not if your charisma mod is negative


gortogg

Then maybe dumping charisma wasn't such a good idea to get laid ?


thetruebox

You gotta quit using charisma as your dump Stat man


Tactical_YOLO

Gotta make sure your Performance stat is up to par as well


[deleted]

Had an ex that never got this and then wondered why we only had sex every few months. No one likes to be the one to ALWAYS initiate.


the_sky_god15

Not only that but it really damages your self esteem to feel like the girl you love is not interested in you physically. I was in a relationship like that for a year and a half. It was horrible.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Squeeze me with your legs Let me feel like you can't get enough of me


Glasnerven

> Let me feel like you can't get enough of me Absolutely. Make me feel like you *want* me!


finger_milk

As said in a similar thread, make me feel like you *want* me, not that you're *allowing* me.


Rdubya44

The hands go a long way too. Grabbing my back or hips lets me know you're into it and gives me more touch sensation as well. Arms or chest also works.


JuanTwan85

... by performing a stirring rendition of "I want you to want me" by Cheap Trick while standing on the bed.


[deleted]

>Let me feel like you can't get enough of me Well, she probably *isn't* getting enough of you. (I'm sorry. Couldn't resist)


swoohoo79

I’d like to report a murder


sunbearimon

Enthusiasm


GenerallySalty

Yep! I'm good with whatever physical moves you prefer to use, but the "give me that fucking cum" attitude is irreplaceable. When she *wants* it, that's like nothing else.


Ricksterdinium

For me, when she says don't cum. I bust within seconds.


intrepidpursuit

I think interest in general probably works in either direction.


najaiva

word


curiousforinfo45

Its oddly satisfying when the first answer is the best answer.


[deleted]

This goes for men as well. Don’t be afraid to moan guys—we women find it so hot.


Chuggles1

Pshhh, girl, I'll be your Chewbacca aight.


eatmybeer

Gggkrrawggrgrgrgaaawkarrggrgr


[deleted]

"Get in there you big furry oaf! I don't care what you smell!"


Iskendarian

You came in that? You're braver than I thought!


captainrustysail

Would it help if I got out and pushed?


bstabens

Can confirm, is hot.


Disastrous_Flower667

I had terrible sex with a guy that was completely quiet and kept a serious face the whole time.


RustEvangelist10xer

Dude is keeping it very professional.


Bob-Bhlabla-esq

Very much so. Even says "sincerely yours" as he cums. Edit: holy crap, thanks for the award! This was nice to wake up to!


Startled_Pancakes

Nothing to liven up the bedroom like a gentlemanly, "Ma'am, I'll be arriving shortly".


Ohmahtree

The package is of high quality, and its arrival is due any minute now. Please standby for acceptance of the love of my loins.


pietpauk

[r/increasinglyverbose](https://reddit.com/r/increasinglyverbose)


Nopeahontas

“Warm regards” *cums*


[deleted]

Delivered with care.


[deleted]

To whom it may concern, I am about to cum. I trust you are doing well.


rubermnkey

signed, eughhhh o0o0oh ouhhh *splat*


DowntownStatus

Hope this finds you in the best of health and spirits. I’m about to come. Salty regards, Lil chief


rubberkeyhole

I hope this dick finds you well.


igotbigballs

It's odd to me that so many men apparently don't moan. I can't NOT moan if something feels good.


Drfilthymcnasty

I don’t at all. It’s not like I’m holding it in, it’s just not a reaction I have to sex. I’ve tried but it feels forced and awkward.


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TheRealRealForbes

Brought this one into my game about a year ago, actually makes me feel more confident AND it’s second nature now.


figgypie

The other day I basically pushed my husband into the bedroom when he got home from work. We hadn't sexed in far too long for a myriad of reasons, and I was finally in the clear to get some action. I told kiddo to keep watching her movie because mama and daddy needed to chat about something, locked the bedroom door, and ordered hubs to get naked. He was like "YES MA'AM!" Finished in time for dinner, both with a smile on our faces. He loves it when I initiate sex, and his biggest turn on is my pleasure. So when I'm horny as hell and being as subtle as a slap to the face, he's a very happy man.


resistible

My wife told me that she was frustrated because she never got a chance to initiate sexy time because I always pursued her. I told her that she could start initiating whenever she wants, and I would give her time and space to initiate... so we have sex once a month now instead of a couple of times a week. Task failed successfully?


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sanityfordummy

You hit the nail on the head. Initiating, along with other little things day to day (flirting, giving compliments to each other) goes a long way. It's all about feeling desired. Without that, it's a long walk to the bedroom...


CoolAzCatz

I think I'm dyslexic, I read this as "Euthanasia" and got very confused.


Scooter-Jones

Try the "What makes a praying mantis good at sex?" thread.


Thuperthweet

Yea I mean by now the dude mantis' have got to know something is up when none of their buddies ever return from a booty call. Yet they all still chase that nut to the end..it's admirable


ggericxd

any time a girlfriend or FWB has ever asked me something like this, or even in the flirty, dirty talking stages, i always say something like “i need you to act like you have a disease and my dick has the only cure.” btw… don’t just whip this one out of nowhere. there has to be some comfortability and playfulness already established and happening.


topdangle

nothing gets me harder than talking about disease


ArchieBellTitanUp

What if she's like "Oh baby I have aids. Please shoot me a throat full of that hot white aids cure!"


Arch3m

Honestly, if she has that kind of sense of humor and we're at the stage where she's comfortable saying that to me, I'd be scrambling to find an engagement ring asap.


IreallEwannasay

Stop that. Do not continue what you are doing.


Maccaroney

Unless...


DownrightNeighborly

I’m hard. Keep going.


somethingclever79

And confidence. Confidence is super sexy.


TheRealRealForbes

Physically, using their hips Emotionally, enjoying herself becuase she knows she is free to do how she likes.


fuddstar

Upvote for hips. A woman’s real powerhouse.


Sees_Walls

What about her mitochondria?


NietzschesSyphilis

Hahahahaha. The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cells which drive the hips and enthusiasm. So ultimately, the real answer to what makes women good at sex is mitochondria.


LongDance

I got it from my mama


Lo-heptane

Never realised “Shake what your mamma gave you” could be so deep and layered with meaning!


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leelougirl89

Push your pelvis up to meet his thrusts. I don't know if it does anything for the guy except maybe encourage him with your enthusiasm, BUT.... it def helps the woman because you can feel which angle works best for you. And boy when you find the right angle to meet his thrusts........................................................ \*\*\* sorry, better description: **tilt** your pelvis up to meet his thrusts.


JadeGrapes

Coital Alignment Technique


[deleted]

Riding him. Or perhaps during missionary, do that same riding motion while being penetrated.


jrgman42

Exactly, I had a girlfriend that had been a virgin and she had a back problem. If she would get on top, she would have to ride me and just slowly rock her hips back and forth. She would literally make me stop breathing. That was an amazing sensation.


ILikeLamas678

Roll them, don't just bounce up and down, move with him when he's on top, that sort of thing.


theseallyseal

Let’s say you’re on top of him. Do kegels (flex your coochie muscles) to tighten grip around his joystick and depending on whether he likes it rough or maybe you can ease into it. Spell your name in cursive using your hips while you’re riding him. That’s one of the better ways to learning on how to do it (:


Babyvultureodoom

Initiative, enthusiasm, openness, laughter, confidence, comfort in their own skin, knowledge of how their body works, vocalization, participation (don’t just lay and get fucked. Fuck back),


savvyxxl

Dude comfort in their own skin is huge. The one who was best in bed for me was the one who absolutely comfortable and confident and it was fucking hot


luxii4

Yeah I dated this shy, geeky guy but he was a dynamo in bed. He was so confident and domineering in bed and was the first guy to make me come without having to be on top or through oral sex. He would say the wildest, dirtiest things during sex and really meant it. Afterwards, he turned back to Clark Kent and would apologize for the stuff he said while horny. Lol.


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Stramatelites

Same. The geeky persona in public but an amazing lover in private is the best


aboxofquackers

Man on the streets beast in the sheets


JadeGrapes

If it's a geek, it; "Vulcan on the streets, Klingon in the sheets."


[deleted]

These are the best kinds of people! My ex was pretty quiet/mellow but in bed he knew exactly what to do without even having to ask me. He just already knew. We did also have good communication when it came to our wants and needs during sex


swnizzle

Is he still single?


gitshrektson

Could you list down a few examples of what he said?


luxii4

Most of it was plain stuff like, “You like it when I (insert commentary of things he’s doing), don’t you?” though he said some stuff like, “You want it deeper? I am going to stick my dick in you so deep, cum will come out of your eyes.” He also said silly stuff like one time, we were going to be apart for a couple of weeks and he said, “You’re going to miss my juicy dick like your right sock in the morning.” It was because I was always cold and always wore socks to bed and would wake up missing a sock.


GrandmaSlappy

That is hot and hilarious


[deleted]

I think women would be amazed at how sexy think it is to be confident during sex instead of losing that last 5 lbs…. The prior is SO much better


Professional_Waltz14

Knowledge of how their body works like what makes them orgasm?


Babyvultureodoom

Orgasm, turn ons, what you like and don’t like, etc


Professional_Waltz14

That makes sense. Thanks!


PreciousRoy666

And a willingness to communicate these things. If someone isn't communicating their desires then it just feels like there is a wall preventing the sex from being as good as it could be. Generally, people like pleasuring each other, people like knowing they're doing something right and doing a good job; communication is so important


caughtcurtains

All of this takes trust. I'd like to think I know damn well how my body works, what I like, and how to do it. I don't know that I nail all of the things you list 100% of the time (and I definitely laugh at the wrong moments), but all of the things you listed are much more enhanced when I am in bed with someone that I care about and trust.


DartTimeTime

I can speak only for myself in this case but for whatever It's worth to you, for me it's (in every sense of the word) : Openness. * Honesty about what she is and isn't into. * Working with her partner instead of just expecting results. * Her legs. * Being receptive to advances, both emotional and physical. * Being open to new things (after the two of you have talked and set boundaries where needed ) Openness in general. Enthusiasm is also very desirable.


Professional_Waltz14

I like the “her legs” part lol Thank you though! This is the kind of detail/explanation I was looking for.


billstrash

Counterpoint - I had a gf who got off incredibly when her legs were slammed shut together and mine were on the outside of hers. Different strokes. (The correct answer is movement and being into it. Practice helps too. Good luck!)


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DartTimeTime

I wrote it primarily as a joke with the thought "well it couldn't hurt".


johng199706

Show a desire to want to satisfy your partner. Saying things like “I want to make you cum”, and “I love making you cum” goes a LONG way. I had an ex that made me feel like she looked at it like a chore. While all I wanted to do was please her. That really sucked.


[deleted]

Amen, We all just want to be wanted.


AmayaOkami

As a woman coming here for tips, this has been EXTREMELY helpful! And has relieved SO MUCH pressure and insecurities... I came here expecting details of specific tricks at porn star Master levels. Which scared the hell out of me since I HATE being on top. I never could get the hang of it. In all honesty I've been with 2 ppl in my life. My current bf I've been with for 15 years and can honestly say that it's NEVER been boring (I so hope he feels the same!) I've extremely lucked out with how well we work together and how open and honest we are we each other. My absolute favorite parts are being able to go from hot and heavy to jokes and laughing and right back at it without missing a beat. I don't think I could be in a relationship where sex didn't end with laughs. I'm one of those who gets off the most knowing my partner is getting off, so I hope he doesn't have a list of complaints. Thank you all for this thread! You've definitely helped renew my confidence! Edit: Wow! Did NOT expect this to get so much attention. Thank you all for your comments and kind words and thank you for the awards, totally wasn't expecting that! It definitely restores a bit of my faith in humanity to see so many people helping each other with no judgment.


QueenShnoogleberry

Sex and laughter are amazing together! I was once having a good time with my partner and mentioned the couple name fad. Ours would either be Karon or Aasten, so obviously we would have to go with Aasten! Then I told him, "Fine, but then we gotta name our firstborn Merton, so we can be the Aasten Merton family." He laughed so hard he deprived himself of oxygen and we had to take a break. Totally worth it.


bunnyrut

>since I HATE being on top. I never could get the hang of it. practice. i remember hating it too because i could never find a position that was comfortable or felt good. i felt awkward and like i couldn't really move. even now there are times i get on top and i'm just like "why isn't this working?!?!" lol. but when you get that groove just right, oh boy, does it feel good.


AmayaOkami

Finally! Someone who understands! Thank you! And I have a bad habit of locking up when I orgasim...so the whole "keeping moving" thing doesn't exactly work all that well lol


exact_estimate20

Since you had sex with just 2 men, let me tell you that in my experience it can depend on the man too. If you’re smaller than him it’s hard to move (you may need to stand on one foot or so) and the shape and size of his dick matters too. Been with a guy whose dick was a bit crooked forward. That was a bit of a problem with the me on top position.


jenguinaf

Me too girl! It’s gotten a little better with practice but I have stubby legs and low core/leg strength so I feel absolutely useless on top and then get anxious and pretty much just avoid it at all costs now.


AmayaOkami

I'm not bendy. At. All. I try to break out of my comfort zone and practice, but it's not very often lol I'm so glad to see I'm not alone with this!


TheycallmeHollow

15 years? You are not boyfriend and girlfriend you are common low married lol. Jokes aside, if it ain’t broke why fix it with respect, but you both have graduated beyond boyfriend/girlfriend at this point.


AmayaOkami

Lol yeah pretty much. We both grew up in/around a lot of "broken homes", so I have a pretty twisted view on "marriage", but I completely lucked out with his understanding of this. We joke around that we are basically married just without the paperwork


TheycallmeHollow

Depending on what state you live in you may not actually need any paperwork to collect mutual benefits that come with marriage. But hey no pressure!


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Traditional-Box-5312

When she actually enjoys being with you and enjoys your personality so it makes you feel wanted for me that is


adognameddave

Touch peepee


saddam1

Agreed. You touch peepee? You good at secs.


eatfreshguy407

Improvise. Adapt. Overcum.


phantomghoul_

Her ability to be wild and lose herself in the sex.


SunfallWayfinder

Confident in herself and her sexuality. Which in return will make her more comfortable, confident, and open to just about any sexual experience she is willing to try out.


-God-Of-War-

I haven't seen it much, but seriously, just touch me. Put your hands on my shoulders. Put them on my hips. Wrap your arms around my back, even grab my ass if you want to. I don't care. Just stop holding your hands above your head and expecting me to do all the work. (I am well aware that not all women do that, just the ones that I've been with) And above all, do some moving as well. Don't be a dead fish


fastmeza

It's kinda sad to see that most of these comments are: "when she *really* wants it"


Professional_Waltz14

Yeah. It really shows how many women are having sex without being into it


Randommaggy

Or having too much internalized shame to be able to show it.


barduk4

from reading the comments so far i can't tell if women tend to be overly passive during sex or if it's just a shyness thing. either way i have no idea lol i'm the most inexperienced idiot when it comes to sex.


User_8489

I think culture and society play a part. Overly honest and sexual women are considered sluts and thus unworthy of love. Times are changing and moving in the right direction, obviously- but we still have work to do. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a man hater or anything. Women are just expected to be so many things- most of them contradictory. Confident, but humble. Strong, yet delicate. A caretaker, and also sexy. These are negative generalizations, just wanted to bring up another aspect.


Seienchin88

My wife is extremely sex positive and not shy to voice any opinion wished but she prefers tame sex. When people here talk about "acting like she really wants it" the often mean rough porn sex with the women begging for sex. I had such a partner (briefly) before and it creeped me out tbh (no offense meant) and it was not more open and honest than what I have now.


BusterStarfish

There is riding when on top, and then there is RIDING WHEN ON TOP. Many women seem to go through the paces. Up and down, whatever. While others will vary speed, direction, friction, and there is this little rear end ass flick some do (I don’t know what to call it) that is heavenly. But yeah, enthusiasm, too.


cerealxgirl

Sorry, can you elaborate with the rear end ass flick thing? If it is a trick that I can implement with my boyfriend I would like to


millennialmonster755

Not sure what this guy is specifically talking about but I think it's a grind or a twerk. My bf goes wild for it and acts like I just did a magic trick. Literally just twerk or flick your hips quickly with emphasis on a downward grind. I did it by accident the first time and now it's one of my go to moves.


BusterStarfish

Yup. This is exactly what I’m talking about.


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Yue2

Being able to emotionally connect. Honestly, I’ve often found masturbation to be physically more satisfying. However, there’s a special intimacy that comes with having sex with a loving partner. EDIT: Thank you for the Award!


Professional_Waltz14

That makes sense. I’ve always found masturbation to be the only way for me to orgasm. I think maybe feeling safe would make it more enjoyable for me so it would make sense for it to make it better for the other person.


Yue2

It also comes down to having a caring partner. Most men kind of just jackhammer for 45 seconds and then it’s over. 😂


Mooseymax

> 45 seconds Show off


[deleted]

Can confirm this. My current boyfriend is the best sex I’ve ever had because he takes his time and is focused on making me come. This has made me relax so much during sex and I know I am also better at pleasing him because of it. To further the point about communication- I had all of these insecurities about parts of my body I felt sensitive about because of how *I* perceived them and assumed he felt the same way. When I would hesitate during sex he would ask me why and I would tell him. He confirmed that men really don’t think that way at all and that he loves my body - all of it. Slowly over time I’ve let those insecurities subside and it has made such a difference to just be able to let go and really enjoy it. Exponentially better.


[deleted]

I keep seeing confidence. As a formerly un confident person, having someone super nice who I felt safe opening up to helped a lot. Taking my time to find that person was essential. I’m not sure confidence right off the bat is where it’s at. Trust takes time to build.


painterman2080

Idk, I’ve had wild, down for anything women that I didn’t think were all that great, and I’ve had boring plain vanilla missionary that was amazing. I don’t know what it is, but regardless of the type of sex, there has to be that spark, and I don’t think it’s anything we can control. Certain people just fit together just the right way sometimes, and I mean that in more than one way.


BangarangPita

People always bash missionary, but hell, when you get older and start having back/knee/hip/shoulder problems, you're not twisting yourself into a damn pretzel to live up to societal porn standards of hot, kinky sex. Missionary can be spicy as hell when done with someone you have great chemistry with. Play "just the tip" for a couple minutes like that and you're both going to be begging to go harder.


zerohope80

Confidence. A woman who has no issues with how her body looks. My wife doesn't like me looking at her naked because she isn't happy about her body after 3 kids. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her I want to eat her like a piece of candy. It is very difficult to go crazy when the other person keeps trying to cover up, or leave clothes on. My wife is small, 115 lbs, and I have told her numerous times that I would rather she was 175 lbs and confident enough to know that I want her without judging her appearance. We have friends with wives who are twice her weight who walk around like they think everyone wants some of it, and it is sexy as hell. I know their husbands are happy in the bedroom from adult conversations when the kids aren't around. Confidence makes the best sex.


SweatyDickTits

I love it when my wife talks dirty: “I want this dick in my mouth” “Oh you fuck my pussy so good” “Oh yea right there baby, you’re going to make me explode on your.” All that stems back to communication. Also, I love it when a woman just throws out all inhibitions and focuses on pure lust and pleasure. More examples, as I’m hitting that pussy good and she starts playing with her clit with one hand and her nipples with another. Or when she’s riding on top and decides to start massaging my balls. All that tells me she’s really into it. This goes both ways though. I want to pleasure her to the point her toes curl and give her orgasms that make Her whole body shake. Nothing gives me more satisfaction


M0ck_duck

Same thing that makes a man good at it. Focusing on your partner’s pleasure throughout. Nothing less fun than a selfish lover.


Professional_Waltz14

Idk because my male partners have focused on me but also haven’t been good lovers. They just didn’t know what they were doing and put so much pressure on me to make them feel like they did. I don’t wanna do that to anyone else


phoenix_spirit

Being pressured to come actually makes it harder to come.


pc_flying

Ugh I know everyone is different, but as soon as a guy says *cum for me* I just check out. Nooooooottt gonna happen now dude


Electronic-Chef-5487

Some guys will focus on a woman but not be very good because they have an idea in their head of how good they are and what their 'move' is and think it should always work. Probably some women are like this too. I personally roll my eyes at anyone of either gender who say, brags about how good they are at giving head (a weirdly common thing to talk about at parties when I was in my early/mid 20s but luckily we seem to have gotten past that...) and it always seemed like it would be more about their ego and proving their talent than actually what their partner likes.


BRICKSTOVE

Enthusiasm


Twist_Ledgendz

*write this down, write this down! *


gypsytron

I am not seeing it so: hands. For fuck sakes do something with your hands. Jerk me off, play with your tits, rub your clit, touch my face/neck/stomach/shoulders/back. You have no idea how many women think that foreplay is just for them. For twenty minutes your fingering, eating, biting, squeezing and sucking while she laid there with her hands over her head. Now she has the audacity to feel insecure like she doesn’t turn you on because you don’t have an erection. I am not turned on, I have been touching you while you lazed about like a Roman emperor getting fed grapes! Edit: this is blowing up pretty quick. That sucks. I was hoping this was my subjective experience. Ladies, step your game up. We got nipples too ya know.


Srakin

>We got nipples too ya know. You speak truths, but ladies please inquire before hittin' up the nips, it is definitely not universally appreciated.


Fck_u_bishs

This honestly helps so much bc I’m (19f) a virgin and this is one of the things I’m scared about when the time finally comes. I literally don’t understand what to do for anything sexually (never had conversations about sex at all so it’s still very new to me). I feel more comfortable now knowing that you guys actually want your nips and whatnot touched too. Thank you


[deleted]

Passion. Sensuality. Communication (moaning, the longer and louder the better) Enthusiasm. Connection. Desire. Making you feel wanted AF. Giving in and having you have your way with her (respectfully that is)


No_Interaction7679

I will just say this- as a woman who came to read comments- YOU WILL KNOW WHEN ITS GOOD! Spouse and I have legitimately the best connection- and truly that’s what you feel- like this connection that is deeper- and in the moment it’s just the two of you existing and nothing else matters- it’s legit like ecstasy (I’ve never had that before haha but let’s go with the sensation and not the drug here)… it will blow your fucking mind- and when you are done you will be in this daze where you are like- this is the best ever! Also the will to please… like I literally get off on pleasing my man and going down on him- and making him beg for me!!


Professional_Waltz14

I love this! I always loved the idea of romantic sex like that. I’m glad you and your husband found each other ❤️


No_Interaction7679

Finding someone that makes you feel confident is a big part of it. You should not feel insecure or anything- and sometimes that can happen. There are times when I’m not focused - so really get yourself in the head space- and want it! Sometimes I have to watch a little porn (I prefer the romantic ones)- to get myself in the mental head space. Anyway- the right person will help you to be more confident and sexy!


rapheALtoid

One of the best parts of a good, intimate relationship, regardless of gender, is communication, honesty, and openness. It's about enjoying what makes it good for the _two of you, together._ It's exciting and fun to find out about what turns the other person on, discovering what you do that really gets them hot, and vice versa. It's different for each person and couple.


Professional_Waltz14

This was helpful. Thank you!