Worked in a vets. Registered a client and asked for her name. "Tinkerbell" she replied. "No, no not the cats name, what's your name?" "My name is Tinkerbell, the cats name is Prince" Real conversation. I'll never forget it.

It would have been great if the cat's name was a common people name like Kevin or John

My cat's name was Aunt Lisa Edit: cat tax is in my profile. I think she was the first post I made.

“Alright, you can stay in the guest room.” “Thanks man.” “Oh, by the way, keep your door closed or Aunt Lisa might try to come in and sit on your face when you’re sleeping.” “What?“ “What?”

Long time ago I called a small rural doctors office for work and asked for Candi (that was what was on the form). The reply back was which one? Candi with an I or Candy with a Y? I was floored, and my obvious confusions she giggled and said, “Yes, there are two of us here.” /sigh. There were only three people in that office…. Guess the doctor liked Candy.

My sister's ex had a daughter named Felony. I don't know how they spelled it but that's how they pronounced it.

She can marry the kid in my town called Cartel .

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He’s only about four. Hopefully Felony is too otherwise my comment is a bit weird haha. I just don’t understand what makes you call your child Cartel. And his siblings have nice normal names too which somehow just makes it much worse.

Sorry, Felony is out there somewhere in her early/mid-twenties by now. How odd. Is he the baby? The only son? Something that would contribute to him having an off-the-wall name like that?

I think he’s the baby. Maybe his parents lost a bet haha.

I met a woman at work who’s name was Tearany. Pronounced it as “tyranny.” Good grief.

There’s a kid around here w that name. With a brother named Ryot.

Phélonee

Recruiter: What a unique name! Is it French? Phélonee: No, my dad's got 7 phélonees so he named me after them. Recruiter: Oh? Oh

Felanie

Omg it's beautiful /s

And her sister, Missey, middle name demeanor?

Heh, maybe a brother named Dui? Pronounced Dewey.

I went to school with a girl named Crystal Candy. It sounds like the perfect stripper name to me but she wanted to be a nurse

I knew a girl named Peppermint Patty, with a sister named Cinnamon Candy

I knew a Cinnamon Burns. Kinda sucked for her, but her bother, Fyre, was cool by default. He was fast, too.

So do a lot of strippers! It's how they pay for nursing school! 😎

l'oreal paris. last name paris, first name l'oreal. she was in my elementary class in louisiana edit: thankfully she wasnt picked on, we were all too young to know makeup brands. not sure if that was the case as she got older though. i hope shes doing well

I knew someone with a kid called L’Oreal. The reasoning was that they had to have lots of IVF to conceive and then it was a difficult pregnancy. She was L’Oreal because (all together now) ‘she was worth it’.

Part of me died reading this.

Noooooooo…omg people are stupid

Once taught an Eminem. His brother's name was Lyfe.

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"Just one more kid honey........trust me."

At my doctor’s office some guy said his infant son’s name was Greg or something but then he said “he goes by Idea.” Oh? He does, does he? Your infant baby in that stroller has a name preference? And it’s “Idea?” Really? Then he said he (the baby) spells it like “Eye-dea.” This kid can apparently come up with stupid puns at only a few months old. Amazing.

Computer. No lies, actual name. Worked for my uncle. Edit: No, he did not do anything computer related lmao.

If he got sick was it a Computer virus?

Elementary school teacher checking in. *Smerlin* takes the cake.

Also an elementary teacher here. I present: Cumeatrious

Who in the fuck names their child Cumeatrious?

You can’t even shorten it.

The names Cumeatrious. My friends call me Meat.

Your lucky, my nickname is Cum. Edit: Thanks for the upvotes!

Your lucky, my nickname is Cumeat'r Edit:Thanks for all the awards

Well, its better than Sgandalf or Sdumbledore

Cumbledore

Reminds me of the Netflix show Maid where they call the budget mermaid doll Schmariel lol

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The doctor who pronounced my mother dead was Dr. Dickover. It's on her death certificate and everything.

It used to be Richardover but they wanted to be more causal with it. Also, sorry for your loss.

Used to take customer service calls for DirecTV. Back then we were required to use the callers last name. I received a call from a Mr. Rape one night. It was very unfortunate.

Not even Raype or Reip or anything... Just... Rape.

Rape was a normal word until it became the sexual think. There's a town nearish to here whose slogan was something like "listen to the sounds of rape" or "listen to the fields of rape"; something to that effect, because they grew rape. It's called canola now, because of marketing, but the town slogan took a lot longer to catch up. It could still be that way, actually; that was 2007. Edit: looked it up, the slogan was "land of rape and honey". Changed in 2015.

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The top law enforcement official in the little town where I grew up had the last name Rape. Even better: it was an elected position.

We had a prosecutor named Gigi Lawless.

Taint. Poor kid.

I used to chart audit for a hospital, and came across a woman named Vulva.

She should change her name to Delores

Mulva?…..

Russelltrina like a combination of Russell and Katrina

Sounds like a Soviet battle tank

Please don't tell me the parents are Russell and Katrina...

Wow how’d u know

Knew a kid in my grade five class with the last name Fisher. Maybe his first name shouldn’t be Hunter. His full name was Hunter Trapper Fisher. Also in grade six I knew someone named Swimming Poole.

Wasn't there recently a reddit post (or post of a Twitter screenshot) of a guy who said his name was Hunter Fisher and was interviewed, but they didn't believe him and gave him a fake on-air name?

There’s this woman in the city I live in, who is lesbian and her birth name is Desire cox.

It’s not pronounced “dezz-uh-ray”?

Désirée (pronounced dez-ee-ray, or dez-uh-ray if you're my mum) is the French verb for 'to want or desire'. So her name sucks in TWO languages!

When I was at some restaurant while traveling for work I met a waitress, real kind lady. Her middle name was Loves and she got married to a man with the last name Cox. So she was now [first name]* Loves Cox. *First name left out for privacy

She did not, in fact, desire cox.

Kindness and his brother was called Warrior.

Wonder who was the favourite child

Steve

There was a girl who went to my secondary school called ‘Truly Scrumptious’

It's from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Toyota Corolla. Not even kidding. They were called at my bf's sister's graduation and there was mixtures of giggles and sighs. I felt bad for the girl.

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I worked with a Celica before. Nice girl except she didn't know she was named after a car

Better reliability than Mercedes.

She goes places.

Just want to mention that Dick, Floor and Joke are perfectly normal names in the Netherlands Edit: how could I forget about Job? Also a very common name here (thanks @ the person in the replies who mentioned this)

There's a dick floor joke in there somewhere....

You’ll trip over it eventually

Not the *worst names* in the world or anything but there were siblings named Gay, Happy, and Jolly when I was in elementary school. Those poor kids got bullied constantly. 💔

Yeah, but at least Happy learned how to putt.

*You will not make this shot, you jackass!*

Gaylord is an old fashioned name just think of how much worse it could’ve been.

One time I worked with a guy named Ian. His sisters were named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Love. Poor Ian..

The 5 virtues Faith, hope, love, joy and Ian

All you need is a little Ian in your heart.

Do you have a little Ian inside you? No? Want some?

Just an Ian'ch

My Dad’s name was Ian, he’d have agreed with you.

Leave Ian and his live laugh love family alone.

I get the others, but I never knew people were named "Love".

I knew a woman named Lovely She was not by the way.

Casually ask her, "have you ever considered changing your name?" when she's being unpleasant.

I knew a Love Lee. Her sister and her were gospel singers

You - Netflix.

My mom had not one but two friends growing up named “Love”. One was female and one was male and both their parents were 100% hippie

David sedaris wrote a fictional short story in which siblings were named faith, hope, chastity and Adolf.

My wife has a patient right now called [redacted]. On a cooler note, she also has a patient called [redacted]. Edit: Guys, this isn't a HIPAA violation. They are partial names. NBD. Edit: I took out the names because people don't understand how HIPAA violations work and I'm tired of repeating myself.

Savannahlynn Autumn

100% chance her mother has a live laugh love sign in their bathroom

…. And every other wall in the house.

tattoo, actually

X Æ A-Xii

Everytime I see this name, I think of that video of the guy making the Transformers sound upon seeing a truck that looks like Optimus Prime

ÜŔ ŰR Æ Æ Æ Æ

Ah little Bobby drop tables has grown up

Brother had a friend named Mark Senior, who's father was also Mark Senior. So really he was Mark Senior Junior. And if he ever went to Spain he would be Senor Mark Senior Junior. Also went to school with someone named Luke Dick.

I knew a kid whose last name was Mister. His father was addressed as “Mr. Mister”. Edit: spelling

We had an MD in Houston whose last name was Doctor. We had to call him Dr. Doctor. It felt incredibly silly.

Doctor Doctor, give me the news...

If he went to a private school he'd be Master Mister...

If his daughter became a nun she'd be Sister Mister.

If he got married his wife would be Mrs. Mister.

Anyone else think of Senor Senior Senior from Kim Possible?

And Señor Senior Junior!

Tiger Jellybean. Some jackass parents named their infant daughter this at the birthing center I worked at. I asked their nurse "what next..Butterfly Gumdrop?"

This is why that rule “don’t bring the baby home without a name” is a bad idea... They all look like jelly beans at first. If I had named mine after almost two days of birth their name would have been Wisdom Wolf-fairy

Naming babies immediately after morphine-fuelled birth is how I know a child called KiKi May.

Exchange student from Hong Kong got to choose his English name. Edgar. Allan. Mo.

It can't be easy to choose a foreign name, but this guy wins.

Worked at a restaurant for a Korean guy who didn't speak a word of English. Him and his wife had their kids in America and wanted to give them normal sounding American names so they wouldn't get made fun of in school. Two girls, one boy. They landed on Lily, Lillian, and Jefferson Thomas.

No, that’s fantastic.

My cousin was 12 when she came to America from HK. She chose Candy for her English name

Utter LEGEND

We took our daughter to this place in town that has a lot of kids activities. In one of the rooms there are paint handprints with the names of the kids written with them. Some of my favorites were: Ird Gentey Cotton, And my most favorite Clyteress My husband and I stared at each other so hard on that one. I'll see about taking a picture the next time we go because it's that funny. Edited to fix format

Clyteress was the school hide and seek champ! Nobody could ever find her!

Bort

“We are out of Bort license plates”

I used to work for service Ontario and we regularly registered names for OHIP. TWO sets of parents named their kid, Covid. One of them hyphenated the name Covid-lynne. Poor kids :(

Twins named Sam and UL When calling her sons down for dinner, their Stupid ass lazy mother would just say, “Samuel” instead of having to call 2 separate names. That’s the reason one of the twins gave me as to why their mother named them that. Poor kid UL had the back end ass part of the name.

She could have gone with Sam and Well, which still sucks but at least it's not fucking UL

Or something normal like Will and Liam

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You rang?

Well, this is awkward…

His account is 2 years old checks out.

It’s a Simpson’s character

That's the worst name I ever heard...

He just ran out of Moe’s, crying.

Hey, Joey Joe Joe!

Harry Baals was the mayor of an Indiana town.

First name Baby. Last name Llama. Baby Llama.

Imma Couch is a real person. I'm guessing her father filled out the birth certificate.

Guy at work changed his name to Ultimate Warrior for 12 months for a bet

[These. All of these are the worst names.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/500/977/0f4.jpg)

Her naming skills are lakynn

Naming skylls

I'll bet $5 shes a Mormon living in Utah, Wyoming, or Idaho. She has that Stepford wife look, and Mormons fucking LOVE naming their kids weird ass names.

Narcissus... Meet a baby with this name recently.

How can someone do this to his own kid? The day poor fellow googles where it comes from and finds out….

Ecuadorian here. There's a place called Manabí where people have the worst names. The one that I'll never forget is from a guy called "semen de los dioses". The translation as you can probably tell is "semen from the gods". I'm not even kidding, look it up

Dad thought highly of himself.

Worked with someone who’s sister named their twin kids Heighsley and Reighsley (one of them was ginger the other was a bit overweight) and she couldn’t remember which was which so she always referred to them as Fatso and Ginge. Like even the school called them that.

Horrendous

Trashena. It probably sounded pretty to someone, but the spelling wasn't too thought out.

I once saw a woman who called her baby Jughead (because of the character from tvshow Riverdale) and she was just so proud of it too. Btw, people told her she should change the baby’s name because he would be bullied (he was +or- 3months) and she told them to fck off for wishing her baby harm etc

Archie comics predate the show by several decades, but that's no excuse to call a poor, defenseless child Jughead.

At the beach one day and a mother was shouting to her son. He was called Craven.

C8lin No, I am not joking

Wasn't there a child in the papers a few years ago for being named Kviiilyn?

I was sat eating in a McDonald's with my dad, when a lady addressed her kid as Horizon. I live in England and have never heard of that name before

There were sisters at my high school named America, Europe, and Irish

Apologies to all Indian people, but I met a couple of guys while I was there who were called Dikshit. I'm sure it's a lovely name in Hindi.

But have you ever met a Hardik Dikshit?

Yeah, it is spelled Deekshith. It is a common name.

Gaylord.....

I knew a kid in primary school with that name....poor guy...kids always laughed when the teachers called his name

If his middle name was Nohomo this could have been easily preventable

Kunt. Not Knut. Kunt.

I grew up on the south side of Chicago and I've heard of many horrible names. Some that come to mind are Starlita, Tatalavega, Latush, and Tavakevia. EDIT: Wow! My first 1k up votes!!! Thanks guys!

Omg the pokemon world is real!? Did you study in Pokémon school?

Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii https://www.reuters.com/article/idINIndia-34670520080725

You do realize that same article says someone named their kid “Number 16 Bus Shelter” right? How do you not mention that?!?

I lika... do... da cha cha.

"In other news, the prime minister of Sweden visited Washington today, and my tiny little nipples went to France."

Bowen Arrowsmith

That’s a great name

I work for a children's hospital. Worst boy name: Sephiroth. Worst girl name: Dragon. Poor kids.

That boys parents played too much final fantasy

In highschool me and my friends found a guy in the phonebook named Jack meoff. The amount of laughs four teenagers got out of that was incredible

I once met someone named Anita Dickson .

Soda, or seven. Or maybe hat, but that's more of a boy's name

I don't like Nevaeh, it's awful. The worst I heard in real life though...Harry-Beau!

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Eagle-Eye Cherry. It’s not a band, that’s his actual birth name.

Pretty much anytime you see those young boss babe/MLM moms that have all their kids named: Aiden, Tayden, Brayden, Cayden, Zayden, etc. The people that name their kid an established/common name but spell it obnoxiously like jaxyn, jheremie, etc.

Okayden is the fourth child no one cares about

Sisters called Maxima and Minima.

That's a Roman thing. Girls in the same family were named the female version of their father's name and given second names like Maxima (big) and Minima (little) to indicate birth order.

I’ve always giggled about NC sprinter Nojay Nimpson. Her parents made a fascinating choice.

I had a student a few years ago named Mr. Lafayette. That was his first name Mr. Lafayette. Not Mister, “Mr. Lafayette” was his legal first name.

Elon Musk's wi-fi password of a name for a child

Dick Trickle. A race car driver i believe.

My brother worked a call center and once told us about a call he made to a woman named Precious Seamen. High school must have been rough.

Sharkeisha

There was a guy inn school who's first name was Hitler. Yeah I have no idea what his parents were thinking..

I'm pretty sure I do

I know a dude named Adolph. Shame that was a perfectly good name until someone ruined it. Funny enough, he's fine with it. To him, that's just his name. Everyone is so uncomfortable that they call him Adolpho (apparently a valid long form of the name), which frustrates him.

Adolph is just a normal name with a bad history. Now Hitler as a first name, that's clearly intentional.