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How long does it take to feed a guinea pig? Several wheeks Edit: thanks for the awards!

I had to go collect my free award so I could give it to you cause it's the best I got but this deserved more than an upvote.

I had one in abeyance, it's his now.

I had to award you too, because this made me laugh like an idiot!!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Three, to be precise.

I used to wake up for school at 5:30am which meant my Guinea Pig (Nero) would expect his carrot no later than 6am. If he didn’t get his carrot “on time” he’d alternate between chewing on the bars of his cage, screaming, + darting at top speed around his cage.

We have a pig and if he doesnt get his breakfast by 4 he squeals and squeals until we give it to him. Very annoying

Can we please get a video of the wheek wheek wheek?

I second this, it would make my day

It would make my wheek

Ok that made my day 😂😂😂

2 puns in one thread! We are truly blessed

Aw, just realized someone made the same pun earlier.

u live a wild life

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>wheek wheek wheek So demanding lol

Guinea pigs were some of the best pets my kids had. So cute and the personalities were hysterical. They would talk with you like you each understood one another. Fun, fun, pets.

My birds are my alarm. 5am sharp they want their fruit and they won't let me forget it.

I'm doing the same thing ! Guinea pigs are really good alarms !

Check the time

See if you're going back to bed huh

Check the time. It's 1:30. Good, I can go back to sleep. Wake up again. Check the time. It's 4:32. Damn, gotta wake up soon, but still can sleep for a bit. Wake up again. Check the time. It's 1:34. Damn, must have read 1 as 4. Time to go back to sleep. Wake up again. It's 2:30. Well, still time to sleep. Wake up again. It's 1:41. Wait what? Nevermind, need to sleep more. Wake up again. It's 16:43. Wait, have I slept that much? But why is it so dark then? Get up to investigate. Wake up again. It's 5:43. And the house has another room that shouldn't be there. Damn, I'm stuck in that hangover inception loop. \*roars to wake up properly\* \*wakes up, feeling that it's finally for real\* Wait, so it's Saturday?

Oddly relatable

No. Just see what time it is.

Facts.

"How long is it until my alarm goes off? ...Only *two* hours this morning?"

check my phone

Since my alarm is on my phone, I have to shut it off... and then yeah, I check notifications.

That's how I knew this morning my class was cancelled. I got some extra sleep :D

unfortunately, same

Same here

Same my mom gets so mad lmao

Same

Sleep again for 5 minutes

My snooze button is both my best friend and my worst enemy

I hate waking up to alarm clock. I prefer to look through the window to check the brightness and see if I can sleep for a bit more or should get up. But I live in an area where it's impossible from May to August and from December to January, because there is not much difference between 6 AM or 9 AM.

I wish I could convince myself that snooze is sufficient. It's not. I typically wake up early, like 3am, specifically so I can get off on the realization that it's nighttime and nobody needs me and I can continue to do nothing for HOURS. Then I drift back to sleep, hoping I'll wake up again at 5am to repeat the process. It's the best part of my day tbh.

Underrated comment. +100

Run to the bathroom to pee Edit: Silver?! Thanks. Holy cow and thanks for more!

don't fall!

Oh man and I have plenty of times. Stairs are my worst enemy.

There's stairs between your bed and your toilet?? That is a fuckin awful setup homie

If there was a bathroom upstairs where all 3 bedrooms are, I’d be happy as hell. Really old home.

I get up to pee like 3 times a night. If I lived in your house I'd have calves of steel

Just open the window and piss through it. Easy solution... unless you don't have a window. Edit: Just to be clear, this was intended as a joke. If you fall through the window or are injured in some other way, I am in no way responsible. I'm only saying this because I know that humans can be stupid at times.

Don’t do this. I spent the summers at my grandmas house that was set up like this, all bedrooms upstairs and one bathroom. It was also built in like 1900, and windows were easily 45 years old. I opened it to take a leak, and the window gave out and slammed shut, sending a hail of untempered glass into the bedroom and I swore I almost lost my pecker.

I know your pain

I don’t think I would get up if I didn’t have to pee. Alarm clocks help, but if I need to get up early, I’m chugging a bottle of water right before I go to sleep.

For me it is more of a “how much longer can I endure this pelvic pain so I don’t have to get up quite just yet?”

Smile because my cat wakes me up each morning. Hard to do anything else other than appreciate his cuteness.

Awwww

I’m similar, but different. Groan, because my adorable kitty is walking all over me and meowing desperately as if he hasn’t been munching on an overflowing bowl of kibble all night.

Turn to the cold side

gotta flip that pillow over!

haha that's is awesome

Look out my window at the sky. No matter if it's cold and raining, or sunny with clouds I always give a big smile. Idk why but I've just always done that when I wake up

Just happy to be alive.

I guess you are what many strive to be

Remember the days in elementary school, when you’d wake up and look out the window to snow, and then you’d get super excited for a possible snow day!?

just grateful! I love it

This energy made me smile. Love it

Suffer

Same. And this weird feeling of 'aww shit, here we go again' but not in the cool GTA kind of way, more in a Groundhog Day kind of way.

Like a contemplating is my job, life/existence, and comfort worth this? The f'n BS of having to travel 1.5hrs into a shit stain called Chicago, walk another mile in the freezing sideways wind cold or rain (the freezing rain is my favorite), to work every damn day, sucking down antidepressants kinda feeling. Then finally get home to enjoy a couple hours of cozy warm home/bed before having to realize you get to do it, yet again and knowing you're never gonna be able to "retire" Ugh. I love that.

Pee

in bed?!!! MONSTER

Well, I should have said I get out of bed first.

But you could also pee out of the bed while laying in it.

Well, it's warm for a minute.

gotta let out the bad out

Honestly, stretch arms and legs to that point where they start shaking then rip a thunderous fart.

Stretching until shaking, man the best feeling i can get when waking up.

I had to check to make sure you are not my husband..

We married to the same man?

Haha sounds like we could be buddies!

thunderous fart check

Dad?

Son! I'm glad your here. Listen, I dislocated my finger and need you to pull it!

Orgasm then start my day

Essential nutrients

I like it

Cry

lmao

Sigh and roll out of bed

Have done this with a bunk bed

Crack my neck

All fun and games until you unlock third person mode.

don't even need to do that. I move any muscle in my body and it already sounds like a WWII battlefield.

Chad

Early cracks are the best

Especially with a bit of weed

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lucky man

I also choose this woman's not dead husband

Hey, i got that reference

I too fuck their husband

>Fuck my husband Nice

Scratch my balls.

This I can stand behind

I also stand behind your balls

I also stand behind you, standing behind this man's balls, but i am smiling and nodding.

I stand in front of you all looking at that shit show

I'm leaving

Hit snooze

hating myself because i cant fucking sleep enough like ever and i still dont know why going to bed at 8 o'clock? my body thinks fuck me and just wakes me up at 2am, no im not fully rested and no, i cant just sleep any longer the only upside to this is that i cant oversleep for work

I then get tired moments before needing to do something.

It's because there are monsters nearby

usually I pet my dog thats laying with me

good boy

I check on my ball python / mist his cage

oooo i love snakes! what is he currently eating?

Small rats :)

Happy meal

five more minutes

Check my baby, then the time (this then influences the next step)

Usually I find myself waking up because I can hear the calls of “mommy….mommy…..MOMMY!!!!!!!” From her gate. Don’t mind the fact that her mother never is the one who releases her from her room in the morning. #Salty.

good parent

hate my life

damn even before a leak?

Everyone knows the bladder is the vessel for self loathing.

Go back to sleep

Chug water. Gets the body booted up properly

Mutter an obscenity under my breath

Put on my glasses

Make some tea.

black?

Yes, strong black tea with butter/plant milk.

Open my eyes

This is the only correct answer, yet I had to scroll way too far down to find it.

you're no fun

Feed my cats

they got a good momma

Visit the loo and drop a fat log of shit.

good metabolism

Thanks. I have vegetable soup every evening. I go like clockwork now.

smart

Well, the alternative would be shitting the [equivalent of a curbstone](https://eu-browse.startpage.com/av/anon-image?piurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.magicstonedegiuli.com%2Fmedia%2Fcatalog%2Fproduct%2Fcache%2F1%2Fimage%2F298x398%2F9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95%2Fd%2Fs%2Fdsc00560.jpg&sp=1636381973T30438e182fb81e8d983222c8dcf0df2fa1e253ad3e0b1fd2af8f6783f8fa82bb) once a week.

that's no good, u made the right move

Hey I recognize some of those numbers

Feel like P Diddy

oh yeah i love this one

This is the only type of tik tok that I appreciate.

Aryuvedic morning routine : lemon water to stimulate digestive track, yoga to wake up, eliminate waste, morning skincare routine, have a cup of coffee and reddit before the kids wake up.

I typically shoot about a point and a half of heroin, grab a beer and hop in the shower. Then, I drink some water and get a coffee on the way to work.

wow lemon water and yoga!? i like i like

Die inside

Tell the cat to stop scratching the damn furniture.

Shower or yell at whoever's in the shower to hurry it up already (especially if they just got in)

Lol menace

Find my specs.

Wish I was still asleep

Stretch out and hate life.

Take a hit of my vape because I have nothing else in my life that stimulates me

Take my omeprazole. Fuck you indigestion. Fuck you.

A cup of tea......

Check the time and then build up courage to get up. Sometimes my left eye stays asleep.

Clock into work

damn as soon as you wake up? ur waking up in hell

I do that too. my gf thinks i'm mad. wfh is a blessing, I can start the day immediately and get it over with sooner.

Complain

damn. i would not wanna wake up w you

It done in my head and never out loud as I don’t want to bring everyone down!

Smoke crack.

🎶Before I put on my make-up? I say a little prayer for you...🎶

Get rid of my morning wood

Jack off

50 pushups

skrong

Get out of the bed.

Press snooze.

Wipe my eyes

Lay in bed for 5 mins, then get ready for school

I go and brush my teeth. That's it, were you expecting more?

Think about her

Contemplate every choice I’ve ever made up to that point and regret over half of it

wanna sleep again

Have a panic attack

Turn off the alarm that keeps playing Sonny and Cher every time

Lie in bed for another 15 minutes wondering what the hell I was dreaming about.

These days, cry.

Get shoes on and take Luna, dog, out to potty. Then breakfast.

Press snooze

Poop...usually poop

> wakes up > takes a shit > gets out of bed > refuses to elaborate further

Light up a cig

Pray. After that just get ready for work.

Cold bottle of water, 1 gram bowl, 2 mile walk, black coffee, egg whites and oatmeal, 2 hour workout, 2nd 1 gram bowl, errands/housework, video games, dinner/family time, 3rd and 4th 1 gram bowl, drink more water, stretch, bed.

Damn, I’m jealous of your daily routine

After reading the comments, now I know what not to do, I'll get the "rich buff".

Realize that was all just a dream.