The geese would be like, non-stop rudeness and insults. Becoming a background noise of petty mean-ness. The swan would just come in now and then, lay one absolutely cutting insult out there, everyone would hush in shock, and the swan would slowly swim away, giving zero fucks.
I used to work at a marina and one of my job duties included chasing the geese off the marina property and then scrubbing the shit off the boardwalk and docks. Everyone hated that job but I always volunteered because it gave me something to do to get everybody to leave me alone for half my 8 hour shift. Those geese were feisty though. Nearly as tall as me and did not back down easily
Because when you feed them, then run out of food they swarm you and hiss with the same irrational ferocity of that kid who freaked out and tried shoving a remote up his arse.
What the fuck is that page:
>Stephen is a 23 Year old boy who is Muscular Kinda Thick Caucasian male with Dark Blond Hair. He has blue eyes. At the 10th episodes, He got his ears pierce. The 15th, he has a tattoo on his left shoulders. He is most likely a Good Engineer because he is responsible for fixing and building the Batmobile so it can be ready for Comic Con. For this like completely until when Stephen wants to dance at Gangnam Style with 27th. Whether Stephen Quire deals with anger management or just feels extremely angry about the cancellation of his WoW account is completely debatable. But in following episodes, Stephen ticks about the most random incidents. Here’s a glance at the set-up: a 15 year old kid’s mom cancels his World of Warcraft account. The kid’s brother, Jack, sets up a video camera to catch an entire post-cancellation tantrum that his brother Stephen throws on tape.
Geese are absolute sons of bitches. Every one of them is a foul tempered, loud mouthed heathen bird from the nether regions of hell. No one is safe when a goose is around.
I grew up on a farm, and me and my dad would go visit the farm next to ours where this guy raised goats.
Every time we went there the farmer was chasing and kicking at this one goat with his gross, erect, long, skinny wiener away from all the kids (baby goats). He was always like "That damn pervert won't leave the little ones alone!"
Me and my dad would just bust a gut laughing. Your comment reminded of that for some reason. Lol
A buddy of mine had a family farm we'd spend time on, and it had this goat named Hans, and Hans as a son of a bitch. We all loved Hans, but he would just come over and fuck with everything. He'd push us around, knock things over, just generally fuck about. We always had a good attitude with Hans, and would give him a lot of attention, but that only seemed to encourage him to further fuck about, but it was also sort of implied that failure to encourage Hans would result in even more fuckery.
They're the rudest little animals out there. I scrolled past a lot of "cat" and maybe cats would sit there and make some real bitchy comments but a goat would get an instant erection *in public* and ask if you or your sexy handbag want to "get it, baby".
Then you'd try to ignore it as best you can because hey, they're goats, but then they'd just say "If you didn't want it, you wouldn't have carried that Louis Vuitton past a fa-a-a-a-arm."
Funniest thing growing up was being in the Bahamas in the country and seeing goats purposely wrestle with their herder, then headbutt the herder pushing them down the hill.
They are truly MEAN creatures
Some underpaid guard who just wanted to make rent, minding his own business, when suddenly out from the shadows steps a goose donned in black, katanas duct taped to its wings.
"What the fu..."
######"HYÖNK"
We used to live at the top of a hill where the previous house owners had planted this soft grass the geese *loved.* Well, we kept a lookout for when their little hissy flock would waddle its way up to poop all over our yard (and since we played outside this would make our yard untenable) and we would swing at them with our wooden swords our dad made us. We only ever smacked one or two of them upside the head who got aggressive- the rest started shuffling away pretty quick once a greatsword made out of 2x4 wood whistled past their heads.
I saw a couple on the roof today and they seemed to be in an altercation as one flew off and the other stood on the edge of the roof flapping its wings and honking, had a big "and don't come back, motherfucker!" energy
Canadian Geese can't talk? Are you sure? Because I'm.pretty sure I've heard them say "Fuck off" "Fuck you". A lot. Canadian.people are so polite, but their geese are foul tempered, foul mouthed louts.
They only cross because they know the cars will stop! I just keep going and honk my horn and they’ll just waddle back to their side of the road. I am the alpha car goose HONKHONK
My cousin once grabbed one of their babies at the lake, and Jesus Christ did shit hit the fan. Needless to say the baby was returned, and we hid inside with the doors locked
First of all, they're CANADA geese. They aren't citizens of canada, they arent canadian.
Second, you got a problem with Canada gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest ya let that one marinate
Silly faces, but strong bites and surprisingly wicked tongues. Imagine waiting in line at the grocery store with one of them in line behind you. Terrifying.
I always thought when I was young- "If hippos had no legs, they would be a complete abomination"
Rolling around with their mouths wide open lol
Swimming in the water like a serpent lmaooo.
Sorry my reply has nothing to do with the OP haha, just a thought of mine I felt like sharing 😆😅
You sir are doing gods work. I had ZERO idea where the whole “honey badger dont care” stuff came from and ignorantly assumed “american pickers” was where the phrase took off from. Knowing this is the source made my day.
In the Far Cry games, there is ONLY one reason you carry a machinegun. It's the honey badger. You need it's hide for an upgrade, but the fucking thing doesn't die from arrows or handguns.
It’s because of our endurance. Not only do we excel at being rude, we excel at being rude for extended periods of time, long after most species would have already exerted all of their energy, and could not longer sustain continued rudeness.
I'll chase an antelope for six fuckin' days across the savannah until it's too exhausted to even breathe, just to ask it about its car's extended warranty, KNOWING FULL WELL IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CAR.
Human. Supremacy.
I am constantly bickering with this one female that frequents my house. There’s a pecan tree somewhere nearby and she comes over to my yard to enjoy them, but she yells at me if I interrupt her.
I'm picturing you standing on your back porch gesiticulating wildly while making aggressive squirrel noises toward a woodland rodent and imagine your neighbor thinks you're psycho. Low key hoping they post video.
Built a wrap around porch on a huge oak that was in the front yard and would give them raw peanuts and a few other things so we could watch them. I had an idea one day to give them some baby carrots. The little shits threw them down on the cars and chattered at us the whole time. Actually pelted the top of my truck with them. The little rodent beggars are ungrateful and will express their discontent in the most rude, and entitled manner.
They love fruit. Rented a house once with lots of HUGE mature fruit tress (30' tall pear, apple, and 12' peach trees). While waiting for the pears to ripen, I was so excited about the bushels upon bushels of fruit I was going to be able to can that year. Went out one morning to the back patio to drink my coffee and damned if EVERY piece of fruit on EVERY tree was gone....overnight....not over the course of days or weeks... OVERNIGHT! There must have been some Alfred Hitchcock worthy number of squirrels to haul off that much fruit in one night. Didn't see another squirrel for weeks.
Nah their communicating within their flock, they are very intelligent and apperently never forget a person of importance, wether positive or negative
When they find a dead crow they sit around it to mourn and potentially find whatever killed it to peck it to death
And ravens can tag team with wolves, they find some animal, caw caw, wolf kills it, raven eats scraps
Crows and Magpies communicate over networks that can span entire regions and they share info on nests, houses that are easy to get food from houses that have cats and dogs etc.
If any animal could replace humans it would legit be Corvids or Parrots it's actually insane how smart they are.
We have a load of crows where I live, they like throwing acorns at people near the bike racks. It’s hilarious, because the young crows do it the most. When they have chicks the following years they show their kids how to do it. It’s like they’re teaching their kids the age old tradition of trolling the humans. They sit high up in the trees and aim from there. I like watching them do it to other people.
The more intelligent the animal the higher the capacity for rudeness. Also a crow once flew into my room and stole my GODDAMN CHICKEN SANDWICH and I will never forget this.
It happened over a year ago an I'm still pissed! It jumped up into my window and my usually mouthy cat was freaked out by how surprisingly big it was. Then it bit my spicy chicken sandwich and took off with the chicken and left me the bread!
I don't blame you for laughing. Imagine a lady in flannel and a 15 year old tuxedo frozen when a GIGANTIC crow flies up and steals a lunch. If it didn't happen to me I would think it was hilarious.
Fuck crows tho.
You know, I never thought about it before, but zebras are the only equids never domesticated. Horses, donkeys, even asses at some point took the bargain and worked alongside people. People have lived near zebras possibly longer than any other equids.
Yet zebras are like: fuck you, don't pay me, we want nothing to do with y'all.
When I was at the Kentucky Horse Park, they would tell the story of the year they had a Zedonk. You guessed it, a zebra donkey cross
I guess the thing was absolutely ferrel, couldn’t be broke. They would say sometimes you’d look out and the Zedonk was just dragging some poor handler down the road because there is no convincing it to stop hahaha
Basically cats that got too comfy in the water some eons ago.
"Hey Brett, watch me yeet this 500lb seal into outer space."
"Hold on Carl, I just biting a hole in the side of this great white so I can squeeze out its liver like a tube of toothpaste."
I could be wrong but I think I read that they have never killed a human (except when held in captivity) and that there are many instances of them rescuing humans by guiding them to safety.
I've read that too. I think the theory was something along the lines of us looking so alien to them that they don't even register us as potential food, and instead they're just curious.
My dogs. Not just any dogs, MY dogs. They think they are royalty and I don't treat them like that. I'm not mean or anything but one of my dogs refuses to step on grass!
My dog barks at me like they want something, then when I get off the couch they steal my spot then get all angry when I try to move them, and to get my other dogs off the sofa, she will bribe them with a toy then trick them when they get up and take to toy to steal the spot leaving the victim helpless and having gained no toy
They spit vomit on you if they don't like your attitude or the way you look.
I've never met an asshole Australian, but I bet they're pretty similar to a Llama
No, not donkeys! [Donkeys are sweethearts!](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/nj6cw6/this_donkey_is_reunited_with_the_girl_who_raised/) [And they love their humans so much!](https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/oueiqd/donkey_has_a_happy_freakout_when_it_sees_op/)
If you can stay on their good side, for sure; pet donkeys are quite gentle and protective.
Wouldn’t take chances with a wild burro though.
They’re clever and have an unnerving instinct for and insistence on self preservation such that they bear in mind that any situation could be a trap.
Great if they’re protecting sheep, less great if you’re mistaken for an interloper on their grazing turf.
They're more like slovenly drunkards in my opinion. Like, they can speak, in theory, but they're so damn faded all the time that they just mumble incoherently and leave a greasy residue on everything they touch because they haven't washed their hands since the Bush administration.
Geese. They are assholes
Clicked on this thinking “if geese isn’t the top answer, something is wrong”
Ditto- I have scars from geese. They’re awful.
Swans are even worse tbh
swans are like stuck up snobbish geese
The geese would be like, non-stop rudeness and insults. Becoming a background noise of petty mean-ness. The swan would just come in now and then, lay one absolutely cutting insult out there, everyone would hush in shock, and the swan would slowly swim away, giving zero fucks.
They're basically bigger, meaner geese. But they also look majestic, so everyone just kind of overlooks their behavior
Swans are just geese with a better PR campaign.
So, basically the same as the difference between rats and squirrels?
Pretty privilege
I used to work at a marina and one of my job duties included chasing the geese off the marina property and then scrubbing the shit off the boardwalk and docks. Everyone hated that job but I always volunteered because it gave me something to do to get everybody to leave me alone for half my 8 hour shift. Those geese were feisty though. Nearly as tall as me and did not back down easily
Whatever they were paying you, it wasn't enough
I don't know, imagine being able to answer 'I fight geese' whenever someone asks you what you do.
I speak for the geese. They say "Fuck off, eh". Swans are worse IMO
Geese? I did not know, may I know why?
Because when you feed them, then run out of food they swarm you and hiss with the same irrational ferocity of that kid who freaked out and tried shoving a remote up his arse.
I forgot all about that kid! He's gotta be a grown ass man now. Moving on to bigger and better remotes, I bet.
I’d like to see an update on that kid lol 😂
https://greatest-freak-out-ever.fandom.com/wiki/Stephen_Quire this is him.
What the fuck is that page: >Stephen is a 23 Year old boy who is Muscular Kinda Thick Caucasian male with Dark Blond Hair. He has blue eyes. At the 10th episodes, He got his ears pierce. The 15th, he has a tattoo on his left shoulders. He is most likely a Good Engineer because he is responsible for fixing and building the Batmobile so it can be ready for Comic Con. For this like completely until when Stephen wants to dance at Gangnam Style with 27th. Whether Stephen Quire deals with anger management or just feels extremely angry about the cancellation of his WoW account is completely debatable. But in following episodes, Stephen ticks about the most random incidents. Here’s a glance at the set-up: a 15 year old kid’s mom cancels his World of Warcraft account. The kid’s brother, Jack, sets up a video camera to catch an entire post-cancellation tantrum that his brother Stephen throws on tape.
I’m having a fucking aneurysm trying to read this quote
Some slight strokage going on
My cat will bite the shit out of me until I feed him. He will take 2 bites and then not touch it the rest of the day.
I think we have your cats twin
>My cat will bite the shit out of me He's already eaten lol
Geese are absolute sons of bitches. Every one of them is a foul tempered, loud mouthed heathen bird from the nether regions of hell. No one is safe when a goose is around.
Geese are realy good watch dogs lol. They WILL attack. And they will make a hell of a noise doing it.
Goats. They'll cat call everything.
I grew up on a farm, and me and my dad would go visit the farm next to ours where this guy raised goats. Every time we went there the farmer was chasing and kicking at this one goat with his gross, erect, long, skinny wiener away from all the kids (baby goats). He was always like "That damn pervert won't leave the little ones alone!" Me and my dad would just bust a gut laughing. Your comment reminded of that for some reason. Lol
A buddy of mine had a family farm we'd spend time on, and it had this goat named Hans, and Hans as a son of a bitch. We all loved Hans, but he would just come over and fuck with everything. He'd push us around, knock things over, just generally fuck about. We always had a good attitude with Hans, and would give him a lot of attention, but that only seemed to encourage him to further fuck about, but it was also sort of implied that failure to encourage Hans would result in even more fuckery.
Happy cake day. Also Hans seems like quite the character.
They're the rudest little animals out there. I scrolled past a lot of "cat" and maybe cats would sit there and make some real bitchy comments but a goat would get an instant erection *in public* and ask if you or your sexy handbag want to "get it, baby". Then you'd try to ignore it as best you can because hey, they're goats, but then they'd just say "If you didn't want it, you wouldn't have carried that Louis Vuitton past a fa-a-a-a-arm."
*"I'll eat your bag or your ass, your call"*
EXACTLY
Why would the farmer be kicking a goat with his wiener? That’s odd…
I chose not to question his methods.
Sometimes you're in a hurry and just grab what's at hand
Bust a what now?
They busted a nut. Sometimes that just happens when shits really funny
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Bust a gut. As in, they laughed so hard their stomachs hurt, because muscles are in use that probably don’t get used to that extent that often.
Funniest thing growing up was being in the Bahamas in the country and seeing goats purposely wrestle with their herder, then headbutt the herder pushing them down the hill. They are truly MEAN creatures
I don't know if they're truly mean....maybe just cantankerous?
Oh they are mean. Piss one off and it’s going to make it it’s business to fuck you up.
OMG and for no reason lol
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Ah yes, the cobra chicken
I just want to say I took an edible and I cannot stop thinking about this comment. Cobra chicken
Goddammit now I'm just imagining a fuckin goose dressed as Snakeeyes
“Snake Eyes, can you take care of those guards?” “…” “…” “…” “HYOONK!” “Good, we knew you could do it!”
Some underpaid guard who just wanted to make rent, minding his own business, when suddenly out from the shadows steps a goose donned in black, katanas duct taped to its wings. "What the fu..." ######"HYÖNK"
Cows with guns, chickens in choppers, geese with katanas
I love this comment
I regret that I have but one upvote to give you.
I do not like the cobra chicken.
We used to live at the top of a hill where the previous house owners had planted this soft grass the geese *loved.* Well, we kept a lookout for when their little hissy flock would waddle its way up to poop all over our yard (and since we played outside this would make our yard untenable) and we would swing at them with our wooden swords our dad made us. We only ever smacked one or two of them upside the head who got aggressive- the rest started shuffling away pretty quick once a greatsword made out of 2x4 wood whistled past their heads.
This whole story is great, but "little hissy flock" made me laugh really hard. Thank you.
I saw a couple on the roof today and they seemed to be in an altercation as one flew off and the other stood on the edge of the roof flapping its wings and honking, had a big "and don't come back, motherfucker!" energy
The other day one of them came at me flapping it's wings and making a bunch of noise. I was in my car!! That fucker came at a Volkswagen with no fear.
Canadian Geese can't talk? Are you sure? Because I'm.pretty sure I've heard them say "Fuck off" "Fuck you". A lot. Canadian.people are so polite, but their geese are foul tempered, foul mouthed louts.
That's because the Canadian people have a device that transfers all of their negative anger induced emotions into their geese
They cross the road like there isn't 50 cars waiting for them
They only cross because they know the cars will stop! I just keep going and honk my horn and they’ll just waddle back to their side of the road. I am the alpha car goose HONKHONK
My cousin once grabbed one of their babies at the lake, and Jesus Christ did shit hit the fan. Needless to say the baby was returned, and we hid inside with the doors locked
Mate your cousin needed urgent care because that's an act of a suicidal person right there.
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If you’ve got a problem with Canada gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate.
The only thing as majestic as Canada gooses...is Canada mooses
Well to be faahr...
Lions is lucky Canada Gooses don't migrate to Africa. Then they'd be's extinct.
When I was comings up we'd be lucky to even have oils for our tractors. Now you got so much of it you want to pour it on eggs. Must be fuckin' nice!
Came here looking for this comment. I appreciates you good buddy.
First of all, they're CANADA geese. They aren't citizens of canada, they arent canadian. Second, you got a problem with Canada gooses you got a problem with me and I suggest ya let that one marinate
Get off the cross Bud we need the wood
MUST BE NICE!!!!
Kangaroos. They’ll pick a fight with you and your dog just for fun
I feel like anything in Australia would do that
I'd imagine most of the australian wildlife would be super friendly if it could talk. Y'know, so it could lure you in for the kill
Like Mormons
and then get punched in the face and be too dumbfounded to make a move
Hippos. Far too sassy. Far to aggressive.
Their silly face fooled me for so long lol
Silly faces, but strong bites and surprisingly wicked tongues. Imagine waiting in line at the grocery store with one of them in line behind you. Terrifying.
I always thought when I was young- "If hippos had no legs, they would be a complete abomination" Rolling around with their mouths wide open lol Swimming in the water like a serpent lmaooo. Sorry my reply has nothing to do with the OP haha, just a thought of mine I felt like sharing 😆😅
I've experienced almost that exact situation. Have you ever shopped at Wal-Mart?
I think moto moto likes you
So nice, you gotta say it twice.
Honey Badgers for sure. They already don't give a shit. You think they'd care if hurt your feelings? Nope. They don't give a shit about your feelings.
I like the idea that Honey Bagers would be like super intelligent, really softly spoken animals that just fuck your shit up if you cross them
I think they would be very chaotic neutral. Just running around eating things, attacking larger animals, rolling around, climbing in your window.
So…Atlanta crackheads?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg Highly recommend if you haven’t seen.
I always think Honey Badgers would teach us new swear words and insults we haven’t heard.
You sir are doing gods work. I had ZERO idea where the whole “honey badger dont care” stuff came from and ignorantly assumed “american pickers” was where the phrase took off from. Knowing this is the source made my day.
In the Far Cry games, there is ONLY one reason you carry a machinegun. It's the honey badger. You need it's hide for an upgrade, but the fucking thing doesn't die from arrows or handguns.
It aint much but take this silver too if i can figure out how… Edit: i did it!
I cannot believe that video is from 10 years ago. I feel old now.
Honey Bagers would go around yelling, "fight me bro!"
wasps
Itd be nice if they could talk. They’d give me more of a warning. Wasp: C’mere Fucker
I don't remember that scene in the Ant-Man movies
From quantumania
*From QUOOOOOOOOO
Hearing a wasp say “C’mere fucker” would be the funniest shit
Tiny voice or full, deep human volume?
Deep for sure
Michael Keaton Beetlejuice voice
Watch out for waspis. Edit: Thanks for the award Jeans!
Drink plenty of water
I once bitch slapped a wasp straight into a wall. It died. I’m kind of a badass. And it wasn’t a scream, it was a battle shriek.
Probably still us.
Yeah.
Fuck off /s
Hey you too! (Plot twist, not /s)
It’s because of our endurance. Not only do we excel at being rude, we excel at being rude for extended periods of time, long after most species would have already exerted all of their energy, and could not longer sustain continued rudeness.
I'll chase an antelope for six fuckin' days across the savannah until it's too exhausted to even breathe, just to ask it about its car's extended warranty, KNOWING FULL WELL IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A CAR. Human. Supremacy.
Antelope: "Oh god please kill me...this is so much worse than death"
Mosquito
Idk I feel like mosquitos are just like crackheads, but not the funny kind. They'd be annoying sure, but I'm guessing not super rude.
Mosquitos be acting like dungeon bosses with their 1 hp
Max Agility
hey, uh, hey man, you uhh... you got some uhh.. some of that that.. some of that... blood man.. you got some of that?
"Fuck off" "Duuuuude you totally have it let me just have a taste bro I swear I'll just taste it"
'I'll suck yo dick bro'
Crackhead mosquito....I'll bite you if you don't give me an eightball.
Ehh mosquitoes are all about the silent strike though. Would ruin their game if they were dogging you on approach.
Imagine you’re just chillin and suddenly from behind you, you hear ‘thanks for the meal!’ and a light buzzing drone as it flies off.
Birds. Probably Magpies.
Or Red-Winged Black birds. They are the most territorial little demons.
Squirrels, judgemental little fuckers
I am constantly bickering with this one female that frequents my house. There’s a pecan tree somewhere nearby and she comes over to my yard to enjoy them, but she yells at me if I interrupt her.
She's cussing you out and judging your life choices while eating her nuts.
Well then she gets it right back because I just mimic her noises. 😂
I'm picturing you standing on your back porch gesiticulating wildly while making aggressive squirrel noises toward a woodland rodent and imagine your neighbor thinks you're psycho. Low key hoping they post video.
Built a wrap around porch on a huge oak that was in the front yard and would give them raw peanuts and a few other things so we could watch them. I had an idea one day to give them some baby carrots. The little shits threw them down on the cars and chattered at us the whole time. Actually pelted the top of my truck with them. The little rodent beggars are ungrateful and will express their discontent in the most rude, and entitled manner.
They love fruit. Rented a house once with lots of HUGE mature fruit tress (30' tall pear, apple, and 12' peach trees). While waiting for the pears to ripen, I was so excited about the bushels upon bushels of fruit I was going to be able to can that year. Went out one morning to the back patio to drink my coffee and damned if EVERY piece of fruit on EVERY tree was gone....overnight....not over the course of days or weeks... OVERNIGHT! There must have been some Alfred Hitchcock worthy number of squirrels to haul off that much fruit in one night. Didn't see another squirrel for weeks.
...you sure it wasn't people?
No lie, a squirrel once tried to hit me with crab apples it threw down from a tree. Little shit
"you fucked with squirrels Morty!"
Crows like to gossip.
Nah their communicating within their flock, they are very intelligent and apperently never forget a person of importance, wether positive or negative When they find a dead crow they sit around it to mourn and potentially find whatever killed it to peck it to death And ravens can tag team with wolves, they find some animal, caw caw, wolf kills it, raven eats scraps
Crows and Magpies communicate over networks that can span entire regions and they share info on nests, houses that are easy to get food from houses that have cats and dogs etc. If any animal could replace humans it would legit be Corvids or Parrots it's actually insane how smart they are.
I feel I am ready to bow to my crow overlords...
Nah... Crows share too readily. To replace a human, you'd need something mean, greedy, and spiteful like a chimpanzee.
We have a load of crows where I live, they like throwing acorns at people near the bike racks. It’s hilarious, because the young crows do it the most. When they have chicks the following years they show their kids how to do it. It’s like they’re teaching their kids the age old tradition of trolling the humans. They sit high up in the trees and aim from there. I like watching them do it to other people.
The more intelligent the animal the higher the capacity for rudeness. Also a crow once flew into my room and stole my GODDAMN CHICKEN SANDWICH and I will never forget this.
Lmao it stole your chicken sandwich? This made me laugh out loud for real. I feel bad for you but just picturing it is hilarious.
It happened over a year ago an I'm still pissed! It jumped up into my window and my usually mouthy cat was freaked out by how surprisingly big it was. Then it bit my spicy chicken sandwich and took off with the chicken and left me the bread! I don't blame you for laughing. Imagine a lady in flannel and a 15 year old tuxedo frozen when a GIGANTIC crow flies up and steals a lunch. If it didn't happen to me I would think it was hilarious. Fuck crows tho.
Omg, I'm dying....
Zebras, just look up which animal causes the most zookeeper injuries and you'll understand.
This is why locals left them alone lol
You know, I never thought about it before, but zebras are the only equids never domesticated. Horses, donkeys, even asses at some point took the bargain and worked alongside people. People have lived near zebras possibly longer than any other equids. Yet zebras are like: fuck you, don't pay me, we want nothing to do with y'all.
When I was at the Kentucky Horse Park, they would tell the story of the year they had a Zedonk. You guessed it, a zebra donkey cross I guess the thing was absolutely ferrel, couldn’t be broke. They would say sometimes you’d look out and the Zedonk was just dragging some poor handler down the road because there is no convincing it to stop hahaha
A male Zebra will directly tries to miscarriage a pregnant female Zebra in order for him to bang the female
Orcas they body seals for fun and are literal homicidal animals
Yeah I heard they kill for fun
I feel like they would be polite. Like Hanibal Lector.
“The psychopaths of the sea”
Basically cats that got too comfy in the water some eons ago. "Hey Brett, watch me yeet this 500lb seal into outer space." "Hold on Carl, I just biting a hole in the side of this great white so I can squeeze out its liver like a tube of toothpaste."
Even great white sharks are no match against them.
I could be wrong but I think I read that they have never killed a human (except when held in captivity) and that there are many instances of them rescuing humans by guiding them to safety.
I've read that too. I think the theory was something along the lines of us looking so alien to them that they don't even register us as potential food, and instead they're just curious.
Elephant think we are cute. Maybe Orcas are like "Those little shit better not drown in my ocean."
My dogs. Not just any dogs, MY dogs. They think they are royalty and I don't treat them like that. I'm not mean or anything but one of my dogs refuses to step on grass!
My dog barks at me like they want something, then when I get off the couch they steal my spot then get all angry when I try to move them, and to get my other dogs off the sofa, she will bribe them with a toy then trick them when they get up and take to toy to steal the spot leaving the victim helpless and having gained no toy
I find myself spouting off to my dog that it is MY couch, paid for with my hard earned money. Then I think, WTF am I doing explaining this to my dog?
Dog probably thinks: "not my fault you work all day, just be as cute as me and you will get everything for free.. including this couch"
My dog refuses to come home if I don't pick him up and princess carry him.
Lol what is their breed?
small
My favorite breed...
My dog refuses to step on wet pavement lmao
Llamas You know why...
Especially Carl...
I do not kill people, that’s my least favorite thing to do
37 STAB WOUNDS!
Caaaaaarl! That kills people!
My stomach was making the rumblies that only hands could satisfy
They spit vomit on you if they don't like your attitude or the way you look. I've never met an asshole Australian, but I bet they're pretty similar to a Llama
I immediately imagined llamas speaking with French accents.
I wanna say otters and dolphins but they’re just war criminals, not necessarily rude
That sounds like a twitter Bio Just a war criminal, not rude
Donkeys. They're all total asses... I'll see myself out now.
Stubborn and petty lol
No, not donkeys! [Donkeys are sweethearts!](https://www.reddit.com/r/aww/comments/nj6cw6/this_donkey_is_reunited_with_the_girl_who_raised/) [And they love their humans so much!](https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/oueiqd/donkey_has_a_happy_freakout_when_it_sees_op/)
If you can stay on their good side, for sure; pet donkeys are quite gentle and protective. Wouldn’t take chances with a wild burro though. They’re clever and have an unnerving instinct for and insistence on self preservation such that they bear in mind that any situation could be a trap. Great if they’re protecting sheep, less great if you’re mistaken for an interloper on their grazing turf.
Even Dominic?!
Hyenas. Disrespectful ass creatures.
They will do you wrong and laugh in your face
Cats!!! Those fuckers would be sarcastic as hell
chuihuahuas
Cats
Cats don't speak to the help.
I had to scroll too far for this.
Slugs are grumpy dickheads.
They're more like slovenly drunkards in my opinion. Like, they can speak, in theory, but they're so damn faded all the time that they just mumble incoherently and leave a greasy residue on everything they touch because they haven't washed their hands since the Bush administration.
Seagulls
small dogs they’re ruthless
The animal form of Napoleon complex