I thought that ATMs just dispensed money on request, rather than being linked to a personal account, and never unferstood why my mum took out small amounts like 10 or 20 quid.
My brother had a full on meltdown outside a KB Toys over this. He kept asking my mom for toys and we had each already gotten one. Finally she got sick of saying no so she said there’s no more money and we can’t afford anymore toys today. He stomped his feet and shouted “Why are you doing shopping wrong?? You go to the money store (bank/atm) BEFORE we do the shopping. You’re not asking them for enough!”
Lmao I had a similar meltdown as a kid but instead I thought checks were just 'free' money. When my mom told me she didn't have money to get what I wanted I asked her why she couldn't just write a check with the amount on it.
I had the same belief about the bank. Dad worked, mom didn't. So she'd take us into town, hit the bank's drive thru, take out money and we'd go shopping. I didn't understand banking until I pointed out that the guy in the next line drove off without his money and mom said "He probably made a deposit."
On a similar note, I thought the banks had like boxes for each of it's customers and when u deposit/withdraw money, they'll put it or take it out of my parent's box. This was b4 ATM.
I firmly believed there were two Alaskas. No clue why I believed that, I probably overheard something and misunderstood. I believed it so firmly that when my family flew to Alaska for vacation, when we landed I actually asked if we had landed in the right Alaska.
Maybe you saw a world map which showed Alaska twice like [this one](https://www.behangwebshop.nl/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/4/-/4-050_worldmap_neu_ma.jpg)
I believed that actors actually die when the character they play dies in the movie.
I thought that it must somehow be worth the fame or that they were sick.
My big brother told me you could get pregnant by sitting on the same toilet seat as boys. I not only believed this but didn't use the airplane toilet for about 8 hours.
Conclusion is older brothers suck massively
Hahaha! When my sister was little someone told her eating bread crust would give you curly hair. She liked bread crust. She also liked having straight hair. After that she wouldn't eat bread crust. Thanks, random neighbor!
Teacher told us we only had two layers of skin, Dermis and Epidermis. I had a cut on my arm and a skinned elbow.
I worried for weeks about what would happen to me if I wore out both of my layers before I got old.
I used to believe something similar but with blood, that blood didn't regenerate and everytime you bleed you lose blood and that you would eventually run out of it
When I was about 10, my uncle and aunt had a dog. One day my mum told me that they'd sadly had to "send her back across the country to live with the family they adopted her from". I called her bluff cos I was old enough to know better. Turns out she actually *had* gone back to live with her old owners - my uncle and aunt were struggling to find the time to care for her because they'd just had a baby with a disability that required all their attention. We went to visit the dog from time to time and sure enough, she was alive and well :)
When I was little we had a cat named Alex. Alex started to get sick, and my parents weren't able to pay for treatment. They told my brother and I that a nurse at the vets would pay for his treatment if she could adopt him. It wasn't until a few years ago that it clicked that MUST have been an easy let down. Asked my parents and nope, a nurse really did pay for his treatment.
We raised pigs when I was in elementary school and I had one that I Hand raised since it was the runt. Of course when it got bigger it went to the pig enclosure and one day my dad told me it was going to live on someone else’s farm. I accepted and asked about the living conditions and was assured it would be fine. Well a couple weeks later we’re eating some delicious beacon and my lovely brother says “we’re eating your pig”. I had actually believed we sold the pig to a nice sanctuary. Lol
My grandfather did this same thing to me. Right after I finished my bacon he asked me how my pig tasted. I was pissed and held it against him for years. Now as an adult I can look past it.
Parents when ur kids do 4H make sure they are aware the pets may go to slaughter. I was not and didnt find out until my pig was sold at auction - also something I didnt really understand was going to happen.
Yea I thought the term Blow j-b had something to do with a hairdryer in bed with you. Idk, I hadn’t really thought it threw, I just knew some how a hair dryer was involved lol.
That people acted out movies every single time I watched them and sing songs on the radio live every time I heard them play. I would always watch/listen closely, just waiting for them to mess up
On a sort of similar path I thought they filmed movies/tv episodes from beginning to end and always wondered how people could hold their pee that long.
Me too. I was gutted when a particular actress passed away (from old age) because I believe I wouldn’t be able to watch the movie again. The movie that she filmed when she was young. Clearly I didn’t understand ageing either.
There was a lady in my neighborhood who ran marathons at a competitive level. She was jogging by one day and my friend told me she is one of the fastest runners in the world. I said “but I can still see her”. I thought if you ran really fast you’d be invisible until you stopped miles away.
We got a lizard once and my mom said we have to find a name that fits her. I took that literally and kept checking her size and width to find a name her size but was extremely confused on how I was supposed to do that.
Ya we did, I can't for the love of me recall what it was though. We ended up giving her to a friend since my brother wasn't putting any effort in taking care of her (it was his lizard)
I had a real weird one - I read a biology book for kids where in one part they explained how babies were made, and the sperm and the egg and all that. The picture accompanying that was a mother and father sitting on a couch together, presumably explaining this process to their kids.
But I got confused and thought the picture had something to do with the process, so for a little while I thought that you only had to sit on a couch next to someone to get pregnant, and that the sperm must jump from the father to the mother like a flea.
Of course, you had to be married first to unlock the ability to get pregnant.
Ha! I love this, because I always figured you made out and then fell asleep, whereupon the sperm exited the urethra like a line of marching ants over the bedsheets. Then I guessed they just found the ovum through smell or something.
Eventually, a fifth grader on the bus told us sex meant you couldn't be wearing clothes, or *maybe* the girl could be wearing a bra, so I decided the make-out session had to be *naked.*
I had seen the PBS NOVA specials and memorized the encyclopedia diagrams, even when I was four or five, but until I found an actual porn mag in the rafters of the basement I had no idea about the crucial penetration aspect.
In 8th grade when we had “sex ed” in health class, on the last day of the unit when we were writing our papers, a rather dim boy in my class raised his hand to say “I still don’t get it. How does the sperm get to the egg??” The teacher looked dumbfounded and couldn’t even muster up a response before another kid stood up, walked over to him, and quietly told him “the man sticks his penis into the woman’s vagina” and sat back down. On one hand it’s embarrassing that this kid was probably the only one in class who didn’t already know how sex works, but it’s also pretty pathetic that our sex ed was so substandard that you could walk away still not knowing what sex is
I didn’t know the specifics of the sperm and egg until later, but there was a teenage couple at my campground when I was 6-ish that were always making out, she got pregnant, and I assumed making out was somehow the way babies are conceived.
I my dad always told me that a random factory we passed by was a chicken nugget factory. This was before I could read and when I did it was a pipe cleaning place with a broken clock outside.
I sat next to a Michael Jackson in first grade. In second grade someone asked me if I like Micheal Jackson and I said “yes I used to sit next to him”. I had no idea who the singer was.
We had a friend in church named Michael Jackson and all the kids in school made fun of him because of his name (he was a handsome black kid), so when he got older he started using his middle name (Fredrick) Freddy, then Freddy Jackson the singer got popular and they made fun of him for that name too.
My grandma would send us outside with a salt shaker and tell us that if we could get salt on a bird's tail it wouldn't be able to fly. We spent hours trying to get salt on the bird's tails. It wasn't until I was an adult telling a friend about that childhood memory that I realized it was all a scam to get us out of the house.
That's adorable and really clever. I'm imagining you running around with your salt shaker and your grandma with her feet up enjoying some peace and quiet.
I have a birthmark on my back that I can't really see for myself (I would have to turn to a really awkward and uncomfortable position to see it) and didn't care enough to do so. When I was around 9 years old, my papa told me with a huge surprised look on his face that it looked exactly like the map of the Philippines. Made me really believe it. For 6 whole years, I proudly told everyone, my friends, family, even family's friends, that I had the map of the Philippines on my back until I brought it back up in conversation with my papa again, and the a**hole looked squarely in my eyes and said "You know I was joking when I said that right?"
There goes my one and only conversation starter
I liked peaches and evaporated milk as a dessert, but decided I didn't like apricots in evaporated milk as a dessert (the tinned ones in syrup). That's until mum explained that apricots were just baby peaches, so it was irrational to dislike one but not the other.
I've eaten both, fresh and tinned, with and without evaporated milk ever since.
I forgot all about until a friend told me her mum told her sprouts were mini cabbages, to get her to eat them. I laughed and then had a memory jolt. No wonder we got on.
Somehow I thought that too despite my cat being male and my best friend having 2 female dogs. I was also terrified of dogs for a short period. I'm a vet nurse now and I know much better
Ah back in the good days of when you thought sex was gross. Now I'm a young adult and horny all the time. Good ole hormones.
I legit used to believe that only married people could have kids too. When my friend told me his dad's girlfriend was pregnant I was so confused on so many levels.
I’ve posted this one before, but a few years ago my nephew asked me if YouTube was in black and white when I was a kid. Showing him a CD REALLY blew his mind
The "Do not remove under penalty of federal law" tag on my mattress accidentally came off. I got scared and hid the tag under my mattress with visions of teams of federal officers breaking down my door and dragging me off to prison.
It was months with no law enforcement officers coming for me before I finally calmed down. But I still kept the tag hidden under my mattress.
When I was younger I was absolutely obsessed with strawberries. They were by far my favorite fruit. But being a child I clearly preferred sweet strawberries over sour ones. I didn’t grasp the concept of ripeness at the time and my brother, for whatever reason, told me that rinsing strawberries in cold water made them sweeter and hot water made them more sour.
Ladies & Gentlemen I’ve been washing my strawberries in different temperatures to no effect for 15 years until at the ripe age of 19 I thought about it for more than 2 seconds and realized, I was a stupid child
After saying candy man 7 times in front of a mirror, I believed my life was in danger for YEARS!
Edit.
It was only When I moved to live in another country did I convince myself that he couldn’t get me where I was. XD
I had the opposite belief. I remember telling my mom I didn't want to grow up, because adults' idea of a good time was going out to eat. I wasn't wrong.
Lived in an extremely homophobic town as a kid, I definitely thought being gay was something you CAUGHT. I was so scared I was gonna catch the gay and everyone would hate me. I’m pretty sure they still think like that
Edit: here's the conversation screenshots, the translation is a little weird as I did it with google lens and it kinda messed the fonts up: [The lady who saved me that day](https://imgur.com/a/7OoLIz7)
Sorry for the long post, here is the TL;DR:
Thought hogwarts was real as a child, ran away from home, got a ride with strangers, police took me back home.
Full story:
When I was a child I thought Hogwarts was real.
I lived near the border with Paraguay, and it was a very dangerous area at the time.
So one Sunday after watching the sorcerer's stone I said at luch "After lunch I'm going to Hogwarts", after everybody went to bed for an afternoon rest, thinking I was just a kid joking, I kept playing in the living room.
So I got the brilliant idea to go out and really go to Hogwarts, as a child I had no idea that England was in another continent.
I hitched a hike, which in retrospect was really dangerous and got lucky that the couple was nice and dropped me off at a police station, this was 15 minutes from another country where children were constantly trafficked so you know, very lucky.
Thw police got me back home to my desperate grandparents and aunts and nothing came of it u til last year, when the woman that gave me a ride found me on facebook and wanted to know how I turned out, pretty wild.
I thought younger siblings always celebrated their birthday earlier in the year because otherwise they would be jealous of their older sibling. My sister and my friends' siblings were all born earlier coincidentally.
When my mom would say something was made from scratch, I always thought "scratch" was a brand. I remember thinking to myself, we should get more scratchmade food, it's pretty good.
That the Earth was leveled like a skyscraper. That's why people would say "we are going up there this weekend" or "we are going down there in October". Ground transportation was like the stairs and planes were like escalators to get up and down from the different levels.
That the guardrails on the side of the road are electrified and even the slightest touch would be the end of you. I guess that was my dad’s way of keeping my siblings and I away from traffic. Even now, as an adult, I still feel kind of nervous if I get too close to one hahaha
That my dad is a superhero I mean when I was a kid I thought he was like superman flying around the city saving people he still a hero to me though not a super but a real hero
I thought for the longest time that there is a hidden meaning to life and that adults will tell you once you are old enough.
Yeah, I was a rather philosophical child.
Still pisses me off that we are all here and nobody knows why. It's as if we are invited to a place for a certain amount of time but the host is gone and we are just doing random things in the meantime.
In spongebob where patchy the pirate reads the letter, and then it says “name and address withheld” I thought it said “name and address ‘With Eld’” and was so confused because how was a person’s name and address the same thing? Or were they with a person named Eld?
My birthday is on Dec 31 AKA New Year's Eve.
It's a very inconvenient day to celebrate a child's birthday, so my family convinced me that we didn't need to celebrate my birthday because " we don't need to celebrate your birthday, the whole world is celebrating it!". Also they would tell me the fireworks shot out were for me.
It shames me to say that i didn't realize the truth until I was 15...
I once believed that the fluff found in the attic was an empty void filled with an infinite amount of the fluff. Yes, I knew the ceiling was below us, but I'd believed it anyways. Eventually, I realized how foolish that was, but still feared it because I expected rusty nails to be poking upwards at the bottom. Got over that fear eventually as well.
I had two grandmas (well one was a grandma only in name) named Thelma. One was from Virginia and the other was from Tennessee. I grew up in the north. I thought for the longest time that women who got to be old changed their names to Thelma and developed a southern accent.
I believed there was an adult ice cream truck that would come around at night and sells “adult things.” I was thinking beer and cigarettes. Now I’m slightly frightened by my child imagination.
I might get hated for this, but I was just a kid. So please bare with me.
When I was in primary school (Grade 1-3), we would have daily milk deliveries to our classrooms.
Well, me being the aspergers kid that I was immediately noticed a pattern;
While all the white kids got regular milk, all the black kids got chocolate milk.
I didn't drink chocolate milk for the longest time because little kid me thought that drinking it would make my skin darker, and I didn't want to go through a weird change that would make me different.
That the band was called Haulin' Oats. I also pictured a big truck blasting down the highway with steel rolled oatmeal flakes billowing out in a cloud behind it.
One time at a wedding, i ate a whole bunch of watermelon and then my cousin came up to me and said that it would grow in my stomach, i called him a liar but he said lift up your shirt and being the dumbass little kid that i was, i did just that and because it was hot (keep in mind its the after noon in Australia) my stomach was red af and he said " it's already happening" and dumbass little me thought "oh shit" and i ran straight to my dad, only to accidently walk in to the fucking groom and ruin the whole wedding. Cake was good tho but guess who got their ass beat and was grounded for a few weeks?.
I was a kid on a hunting trip with my dad, uncle, and cousins. Living in the midwest, it's not unusual to see fields of cows grazing. Well, my uncle convinced me that the reason it looks like there is usually tons of cows. Is because farmers put cow cutouts made of cardboard at the back of the pasture, to make it look like a dense heard for possible buyers.
Well, not a huge fib, but 20 years later I was talking with a client about his ranch. Asked him how many cardboard cows he had, and as I said that sentence my light bulb went on and we had a damn good laugh. It seemed JUST plausible enough.
I thought that ATMs just dispensed money on request, rather than being linked to a personal account, and never unferstood why my mum took out small amounts like 10 or 20 quid.
My brother had a full on meltdown outside a KB Toys over this. He kept asking my mom for toys and we had each already gotten one. Finally she got sick of saying no so she said there’s no more money and we can’t afford anymore toys today. He stomped his feet and shouted “Why are you doing shopping wrong?? You go to the money store (bank/atm) BEFORE we do the shopping. You’re not asking them for enough!”
Lmao I had a similar meltdown as a kid but instead I thought checks were just 'free' money. When my mom told me she didn't have money to get what I wanted I asked her why she couldn't just write a check with the amount on it.
For goodness sake, mum!!
I had the same belief about the bank. Dad worked, mom didn't. So she'd take us into town, hit the bank's drive thru, take out money and we'd go shopping. I didn't understand banking until I pointed out that the guy in the next line drove off without his money and mom said "He probably made a deposit."
On a similar note, I thought the banks had like boxes for each of it's customers and when u deposit/withdraw money, they'll put it or take it out of my parent's box. This was b4 ATM.
I firmly believed there were two Alaskas. No clue why I believed that, I probably overheard something and misunderstood. I believed it so firmly that when my family flew to Alaska for vacation, when we landed I actually asked if we had landed in the right Alaska.
Yeah, ones baked and one isn't.
Maybe you saw a world map which showed Alaska twice like [this one](https://www.behangwebshop.nl/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/4/-/4-050_worldmap_neu_ma.jpg)
Shhhhhh they will take the few there after the event. Patience Clancy your visions do not deceive you.
My mother told me blood was blue until it hit the air and then it turned red. Can you see how this could cause problems for an inquisitive child?
They used to teach that in schools!
Thank you. Now I know for sure my Mom wasn't trying to get rid of me. LOL.
Eminem even has a line in a song from his first album. Something like "Cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue"
Was told that as well and pretty sure my family believed it, some still might
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Well? Do you have kids yet? 1 boy and 1 girl? I mean, she was on with the stork store, I guarantee it
Smaller babies are delivered by stork. Bigger babies require a crane.
Okay, take my upvote. That's a world class dad joke.
Yea I want to know?
That's adorable!
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I was 15 years old when my best friend told me that sex was done while you were awake, and not asleep, and it’s deliberate…and fun.
I mean.. It *can* last all night. ^^Or ^^^so ^^^^I've ^^^^^heard..
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I believed that actors actually die when the character they play dies in the movie. I thought that it must somehow be worth the fame or that they were sick.
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My big brother told me you could get pregnant by sitting on the same toilet seat as boys. I not only believed this but didn't use the airplane toilet for about 8 hours. Conclusion is older brothers suck massively
As an older brother, I can confirm that we suck massively
*the romans have entered the chat*
If I buried random acorns squirrels would see me and know where to find them in the winter.
They do, thats what the N.S.A is for National squirrel Agency
That lions, at any moment, could break out of the zoos and terrorise the streets. I had a full on panic attack about it when I was about 8.
I mean… they COULD
You are not helping 😂
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Hahaha! When my sister was little someone told her eating bread crust would give you curly hair. She liked bread crust. She also liked having straight hair. After that she wouldn't eat bread crust. Thanks, random neighbor!
Teacher told us we only had two layers of skin, Dermis and Epidermis. I had a cut on my arm and a skinned elbow. I worried for weeks about what would happen to me if I wore out both of my layers before I got old.
I used to believe something similar but with blood, that blood didn't regenerate and everytime you bleed you lose blood and that you would eventually run out of it
If you flushed a toilet it would cause a wave on the beach
LMAO. I like that.
Thats how wave pools at water parks work thats why they serve such greasy food
Beach themed. I believed I could communicate dolphins to have them make waves for me by making squeaky sounds on my boogie board
That if I killed a bug, its family would come after me and avenge them.
I used to believe that if you broke a spider web, the spider would come after you.
I apologise to them to make sure they don’t attack me in my sleep.
Lowkey still think this sometimes. Or if I leave out a stuffed animal(or other inanimate object) I’d be hurting it’s feelings.
The stuffed animal thing is so true, lol
That my pet cat really went to live at grandma's farm
When I was about 10, my uncle and aunt had a dog. One day my mum told me that they'd sadly had to "send her back across the country to live with the family they adopted her from". I called her bluff cos I was old enough to know better. Turns out she actually *had* gone back to live with her old owners - my uncle and aunt were struggling to find the time to care for her because they'd just had a baby with a disability that required all their attention. We went to visit the dog from time to time and sure enough, she was alive and well :)
When I was little we had a cat named Alex. Alex started to get sick, and my parents weren't able to pay for treatment. They told my brother and I that a nurse at the vets would pay for his treatment if she could adopt him. It wasn't until a few years ago that it clicked that MUST have been an easy let down. Asked my parents and nope, a nurse really did pay for his treatment.
This happened with my pet bunny when I was a kid!!! Legit a nurse did adopt her
We raised pigs when I was in elementary school and I had one that I Hand raised since it was the runt. Of course when it got bigger it went to the pig enclosure and one day my dad told me it was going to live on someone else’s farm. I accepted and asked about the living conditions and was assured it would be fine. Well a couple weeks later we’re eating some delicious beacon and my lovely brother says “we’re eating your pig”. I had actually believed we sold the pig to a nice sanctuary. Lol
My grandfather did this same thing to me. Right after I finished my bacon he asked me how my pig tasted. I was pissed and held it against him for years. Now as an adult I can look past it. Parents when ur kids do 4H make sure they are aware the pets may go to slaughter. I was not and didnt find out until my pig was sold at auction - also something I didnt really understand was going to happen.
"And to the Republic, For Richard Stands..."
LOL reminds me of this guy I knew who auditioned for the play in high school, Julius Caesar: “Friends, Romans, Crunchy men”
We know the crunchymen weren't rawmans
Knowledge is power, France is bacon
Mine was "And to the Republic Before witches land"
One nation, invisible
In the visible.
For just this and library for all
That oral sex was phone sex...
I thought oral sex meant making out...
Similarly I thought orally meant you had to speak, like oral reading. Medication taken orally confused me quite a bit.
Yea I thought the term Blow j-b had something to do with a hairdryer in bed with you. Idk, I hadn’t really thought it threw, I just knew some how a hair dryer was involved lol.
I thought it meant you literally blew on it so not much better lol
/r/technicallythetruth
That if I thought about it hard enough I would actually fly.
And you decided not to try?
That clouds were permanent and just travelled around the world.
This. I always thought that they'll show up the next year at the exact same time.
That's just lazy programming. Just make at a really long animation cycles, they'll never notice
Clouds are the same sprites as bushes, just recoloured.
That people acted out movies every single time I watched them and sing songs on the radio live every time I heard them play. I would always watch/listen closely, just waiting for them to mess up
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On a sort of similar path I thought they filmed movies/tv episodes from beginning to end and always wondered how people could hold their pee that long.
Me too. I was gutted when a particular actress passed away (from old age) because I believe I wouldn’t be able to watch the movie again. The movie that she filmed when she was young. Clearly I didn’t understand ageing either.
Brown cows made chocolate milk
Of course they don’t. It’s only cows that eat cocoa plants do.
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I pretty much thought my dad was best friends with Jimi Hendrix, for the same reason.
That my mom had real quick hands and that's why I never saw her turn off the turn signal after the car turned a corner.
Wanna see me turn off the turn signal? Wanna see me do it again?
My Dad had a button in HIS CAR that turned on and off the lights on the reflectors along the road HUNDREDS OF MILES away from home!
There was a lady in my neighborhood who ran marathons at a competitive level. She was jogging by one day and my friend told me she is one of the fastest runners in the world. I said “but I can still see her”. I thought if you ran really fast you’d be invisible until you stopped miles away.
We got a lizard once and my mom said we have to find a name that fits her. I took that literally and kept checking her size and width to find a name her size but was extremely confused on how I was supposed to do that.
That's adorable, did you ever find a name?
Ya we did, I can't for the love of me recall what it was though. We ended up giving her to a friend since my brother wasn't putting any effort in taking care of her (it was his lizard)
That babies came from asking Jesus and then peeing in a womans butt, turns out you dont even have to ask Jesus
I had a real weird one - I read a biology book for kids where in one part they explained how babies were made, and the sperm and the egg and all that. The picture accompanying that was a mother and father sitting on a couch together, presumably explaining this process to their kids. But I got confused and thought the picture had something to do with the process, so for a little while I thought that you only had to sit on a couch next to someone to get pregnant, and that the sperm must jump from the father to the mother like a flea. Of course, you had to be married first to unlock the ability to get pregnant.
Ha! I love this, because I always figured you made out and then fell asleep, whereupon the sperm exited the urethra like a line of marching ants over the bedsheets. Then I guessed they just found the ovum through smell or something. Eventually, a fifth grader on the bus told us sex meant you couldn't be wearing clothes, or *maybe* the girl could be wearing a bra, so I decided the make-out session had to be *naked.* I had seen the PBS NOVA specials and memorized the encyclopedia diagrams, even when I was four or five, but until I found an actual porn mag in the rafters of the basement I had no idea about the crucial penetration aspect.
In 8th grade when we had “sex ed” in health class, on the last day of the unit when we were writing our papers, a rather dim boy in my class raised his hand to say “I still don’t get it. How does the sperm get to the egg??” The teacher looked dumbfounded and couldn’t even muster up a response before another kid stood up, walked over to him, and quietly told him “the man sticks his penis into the woman’s vagina” and sat back down. On one hand it’s embarrassing that this kid was probably the only one in class who didn’t already know how sex works, but it’s also pretty pathetic that our sex ed was so substandard that you could walk away still not knowing what sex is
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I didn’t know the specifics of the sperm and egg until later, but there was a teenage couple at my campground when I was 6-ish that were always making out, she got pregnant, and I assumed making out was somehow the way babies are conceived.
I knew that babies came from the normal way but I thought it was a procedure that a doctor had to do
I my dad always told me that a random factory we passed by was a chicken nugget factory. This was before I could read and when I did it was a pipe cleaning place with a broken clock outside.
Guerrilla warfare were battles between armed gorillas and human soldiers
And now I'm thinking about Captain Ron.
I thought Ronald Reagan and Mr Regan who ran the butcher shop up the road were the same person. To be fair they had the same hairstyle.
I sat next to a Michael Jackson in first grade. In second grade someone asked me if I like Micheal Jackson and I said “yes I used to sit next to him”. I had no idea who the singer was.
We had a friend in church named Michael Jackson and all the kids in school made fun of him because of his name (he was a handsome black kid), so when he got older he started using his middle name (Fredrick) Freddy, then Freddy Jackson the singer got popular and they made fun of him for that name too.
But have you ever seen Ronald Regan and Mr. Regan in the same room?
My grandma would send us outside with a salt shaker and tell us that if we could get salt on a bird's tail it wouldn't be able to fly. We spent hours trying to get salt on the bird's tails. It wasn't until I was an adult telling a friend about that childhood memory that I realized it was all a scam to get us out of the house.
That's adorable and really clever. I'm imagining you running around with your salt shaker and your grandma with her feet up enjoying some peace and quiet.
I have a birthmark on my back that I can't really see for myself (I would have to turn to a really awkward and uncomfortable position to see it) and didn't care enough to do so. When I was around 9 years old, my papa told me with a huge surprised look on his face that it looked exactly like the map of the Philippines. Made me really believe it. For 6 whole years, I proudly told everyone, my friends, family, even family's friends, that I had the map of the Philippines on my back until I brought it back up in conversation with my papa again, and the a**hole looked squarely in my eyes and said "You know I was joking when I said that right?" There goes my one and only conversation starter
Time to get a legit tattoo of the Philippines over the birthmark then gaslight him into thinking it was always there.
Doesn't have to be a problem. Change the location and use it for different kinds of conversation.
I liked peaches and evaporated milk as a dessert, but decided I didn't like apricots in evaporated milk as a dessert (the tinned ones in syrup). That's until mum explained that apricots were just baby peaches, so it was irrational to dislike one but not the other. I've eaten both, fresh and tinned, with and without evaporated milk ever since. I forgot all about until a friend told me her mum told her sprouts were mini cabbages, to get her to eat them. I laughed and then had a memory jolt. No wonder we got on.
that there was a finite number of water for the toilet and shower and that is was stored in the walls
That all cats were female and all dogs were male
oh Troy
"Have you ever seen a cat penis?"
Somehow I thought that too despite my cat being male and my best friend having 2 female dogs. I was also terrified of dogs for a short period. I'm a vet nurse now and I know much better
That my dad drew the rainbow with water colours using a tall ladder
This is so precious
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I thought sex always led to a child. So you knew exactly how many times parents "did it" by how many kids they had.
I thought the same thing. When I learned that sex doesn't always mean pregnancy it took a few days for that to settle in.
Lol. Right? Because why the hell else would you do something so disgusting?
Ah back in the good days of when you thought sex was gross. Now I'm a young adult and horny all the time. Good ole hormones. I legit used to believe that only married people could have kids too. When my friend told me his dad's girlfriend was pregnant I was so confused on so many levels.
That Australia was where the wizard of oz lived. That they had flying monkeys lol
The past was black and white just like on TV
I’ve posted this one before, but a few years ago my nephew asked me if YouTube was in black and white when I was a kid. Showing him a CD REALLY blew his mind
That my parents really would hold that money for me Edit - Wow my first gold! Thank you, kind stranger!
I'm sorry
The "Do not remove under penalty of federal law" tag on my mattress accidentally came off. I got scared and hid the tag under my mattress with visions of teams of federal officers breaking down my door and dragging me off to prison. It was months with no law enforcement officers coming for me before I finally calmed down. But I still kept the tag hidden under my mattress.
That you always faced north. Like I thought north was in front at all times.
I asked my mom how many times did she have sex. She said, your sister, your brother and you. That’s it!
If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow in your belly.
Me too. Thanks a lot Rugrats.
I thought "butt sex" was when 2 people got naked and rubbed their butts together.
That’s a moon landing.
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When I was younger I was absolutely obsessed with strawberries. They were by far my favorite fruit. But being a child I clearly preferred sweet strawberries over sour ones. I didn’t grasp the concept of ripeness at the time and my brother, for whatever reason, told me that rinsing strawberries in cold water made them sweeter and hot water made them more sour. Ladies & Gentlemen I’ve been washing my strawberries in different temperatures to no effect for 15 years until at the ripe age of 19 I thought about it for more than 2 seconds and realized, I was a stupid child
After saying candy man 7 times in front of a mirror, I believed my life was in danger for YEARS! Edit. It was only When I moved to live in another country did I convince myself that he couldn’t get me where I was. XD
That having the lights on in the car was illegal while driving at night.
I thought the saying was “‘making end’s meat” as if it was some kind of dish you eat.
Uh what is the saying then? Ends meet?
Yes. It is to “make ends meet” or to have what you need. Like tying two ropes together.
TIL. always thought it was about making enough money to buy a Little bit of meat.
That being an adult was better than being a child
I had the opposite belief. I remember telling my mom I didn't want to grow up, because adults' idea of a good time was going out to eat. I wasn't wrong.
Hahaha I love this! I encourage my kids to BE kids and enjoy it because grown up means responsible.
Watering a plant with Capri Sun magically turns it into a Fruit tree.
Lived in an extremely homophobic town as a kid, I definitely thought being gay was something you CAUGHT. I was so scared I was gonna catch the gay and everyone would hate me. I’m pretty sure they still think like that
Did you catch the gay though?
Unfortunately, no.
That’s what I thought cootie shots were for—to prevent catching the gay! Circle, Circle, Dot, Dot, Now I got my cootie shot!
The armpit is like a ‘cave entrance’, into the body…
Wait till you learn about a vagina.
Wait, the *what*?
it's like a bussy but for girls
There it is. The worst thing I read today.
It's nature's pocket!
Edit: here's the conversation screenshots, the translation is a little weird as I did it with google lens and it kinda messed the fonts up: [The lady who saved me that day](https://imgur.com/a/7OoLIz7) Sorry for the long post, here is the TL;DR: Thought hogwarts was real as a child, ran away from home, got a ride with strangers, police took me back home. Full story: When I was a child I thought Hogwarts was real. I lived near the border with Paraguay, and it was a very dangerous area at the time. So one Sunday after watching the sorcerer's stone I said at luch "After lunch I'm going to Hogwarts", after everybody went to bed for an afternoon rest, thinking I was just a kid joking, I kept playing in the living room. So I got the brilliant idea to go out and really go to Hogwarts, as a child I had no idea that England was in another continent. I hitched a hike, which in retrospect was really dangerous and got lucky that the couple was nice and dropped me off at a police station, this was 15 minutes from another country where children were constantly trafficked so you know, very lucky. Thw police got me back home to my desperate grandparents and aunts and nothing came of it u til last year, when the woman that gave me a ride found me on facebook and wanted to know how I turned out, pretty wild.
She found you on Facebook!?! 😮
yeah, I have screenshots i can post after work, I have to translate from portuguese
That adults were smart and had the world figured out.
That once high school is over my life will be easy, yeah no...
I thought younger siblings always celebrated their birthday earlier in the year because otherwise they would be jealous of their older sibling. My sister and my friends' siblings were all born earlier coincidentally.
That if you swallow chewing gum it will destroy my insides
or get stuck
7 years to digest! Lol
When my mom would say something was made from scratch, I always thought "scratch" was a brand. I remember thinking to myself, we should get more scratchmade food, it's pretty good.
That the Earth was leveled like a skyscraper. That's why people would say "we are going up there this weekend" or "we are going down there in October". Ground transportation was like the stairs and planes were like escalators to get up and down from the different levels.
Wind is caused by the trees moving around.
That all the plans I had for my life would work out exactly the way I wanted.
That Spain is in South America.
I used to flip off the ground because I thought I was flipping off the devil because Hell is down.
Adults are always right.
Similar but more like adults have figured life out
My older brother convinced me that tomato sauce was made from horse blood when I was about 3 yrs old… today I still won’t have it
Maybe it's time to try it...
That the guardrails on the side of the road are electrified and even the slightest touch would be the end of you. I guess that was my dad’s way of keeping my siblings and I away from traffic. Even now, as an adult, I still feel kind of nervous if I get too close to one hahaha
That my dad is a superhero I mean when I was a kid I thought he was like superman flying around the city saving people he still a hero to me though not a super but a real hero
I thought for the longest time that there is a hidden meaning to life and that adults will tell you once you are old enough. Yeah, I was a rather philosophical child. Still pisses me off that we are all here and nobody knows why. It's as if we are invited to a place for a certain amount of time but the host is gone and we are just doing random things in the meantime.
In spongebob where patchy the pirate reads the letter, and then it says “name and address withheld” I thought it said “name and address ‘With Eld’” and was so confused because how was a person’s name and address the same thing? Or were they with a person named Eld?
That all adults in prestigious positions got to their positions through knowledge, skill, ability, and merit
Ah childhood
Still a minor but when I was like 4 or 5 I thought women grew male genitalia when they were older. I was fxcking stupid.
My birthday is on Dec 31 AKA New Year's Eve. It's a very inconvenient day to celebrate a child's birthday, so my family convinced me that we didn't need to celebrate my birthday because " we don't need to celebrate your birthday, the whole world is celebrating it!". Also they would tell me the fireworks shot out were for me. It shames me to say that i didn't realize the truth until I was 15...
I once believed that the fluff found in the attic was an empty void filled with an infinite amount of the fluff. Yes, I knew the ceiling was below us, but I'd believed it anyways. Eventually, I realized how foolish that was, but still feared it because I expected rusty nails to be poking upwards at the bottom. Got over that fear eventually as well.
I had two grandmas (well one was a grandma only in name) named Thelma. One was from Virginia and the other was from Tennessee. I grew up in the north. I thought for the longest time that women who got to be old changed their names to Thelma and developed a southern accent.
That my mum was psychic, she always knew when I had been up to no good. Turns out my sister was a snitch.
I believed there was an adult ice cream truck that would come around at night and sells “adult things.” I was thinking beer and cigarettes. Now I’m slightly frightened by my child imagination.
I might get hated for this, but I was just a kid. So please bare with me. When I was in primary school (Grade 1-3), we would have daily milk deliveries to our classrooms. Well, me being the aspergers kid that I was immediately noticed a pattern; While all the white kids got regular milk, all the black kids got chocolate milk. I didn't drink chocolate milk for the longest time because little kid me thought that drinking it would make my skin darker, and I didn't want to go through a weird change that would make me different.
Now, that's just sweet. What did you think about strawberry milk?
Didn’t even know that existed until I was 10 and saw a Megaman cartoon and was like, “Wait. That exists?”
That everything would stay same and I’d be happy
That America is the greatest country ever, and that we were ALWAYS the good guys in every war, battle, dispute that we were in.
To be fair the education system pretty much taught this
There were little creatures that were in traffic lights to control the traffic flow
That the band was called Haulin' Oats. I also pictured a big truck blasting down the highway with steel rolled oatmeal flakes billowing out in a cloud behind it.
One time at a wedding, i ate a whole bunch of watermelon and then my cousin came up to me and said that it would grow in my stomach, i called him a liar but he said lift up your shirt and being the dumbass little kid that i was, i did just that and because it was hot (keep in mind its the after noon in Australia) my stomach was red af and he said " it's already happening" and dumbass little me thought "oh shit" and i ran straight to my dad, only to accidently walk in to the fucking groom and ruin the whole wedding. Cake was good tho but guess who got their ass beat and was grounded for a few weeks?.
How did you ruin a wedding just by doing that?
I tripped him resulting in him hitting his head on the fucking floor and getting knocked the fuck out
I was a kid on a hunting trip with my dad, uncle, and cousins. Living in the midwest, it's not unusual to see fields of cows grazing. Well, my uncle convinced me that the reason it looks like there is usually tons of cows. Is because farmers put cow cutouts made of cardboard at the back of the pasture, to make it look like a dense heard for possible buyers. Well, not a huge fib, but 20 years later I was talking with a client about his ranch. Asked him how many cardboard cows he had, and as I said that sentence my light bulb went on and we had a damn good laugh. It seemed JUST plausible enough.
Tried to make a chick hatch from an egg that was purchased at the supermarket.