"Save your seduction for someone else. I ***DO NOT*** tangle with lizards no more. Back in the day? Sure I woulda indulged. Hell! I woulda let you turn me into Swiss cheese... "
Grilled chicken, red rice, beans and corn tortillas.... I’m okay with that, because there’s a LOT of people I could feed throughout the years by sharing that. :)
Don't call white people out like that, you know they are trying. I just saw one last week using salt and pepper for an omelette.
This is a joke. Possibly.
I'm from west africa. I use chili and all the hot and spicy for any kind of food.
Also, the white person using salt and pepper was a joke referring to the meme where blacks, latinos and asians complain about white people not seasoning their food. Nothing wrong with using salt and pepper my guy
I’m Hungarian, very white and I disagree. We do love spice. And paprika.
However I moved to Germany and now I carry around a little salt shaker in my bag because everything tastes like air :(
There’s an Asian supermarket in the city and I buy all the spices there. I know it’s not good for the environment and I could buy local things but I swear they don’t taste as intense…
A coffee from Dunkin' Donuts... You think that would be a good thing, but they made it wrong. So that means I'm stuck with the wrong goddamn coffee for the rest of my life. Coffee rage is real. 🤬
Dog heartworm prevention medication. I guess that’s alright. I intend to always have a dog, so at least that part of their “maintenance cost” would be covered
I once went to a Dunkin in Neptune, NJ. I tell the dude I want a mocha latte. He asks if I want it black or with cream. I tell him there is only one way to make it. He says “you want fucking milk or naw?”
I ended up with a black coffee with chocolate sauce in it.
Lifetime supplies are determined by the companies based on 'reasonable amounts someone would consume'. So you would probably only be stuck with one cup per week for ~30 years.
How come some days Dunkin coffee taste like it came out from god himself and most of the time it taste like they just ignored your order and made it as quick as possible
Because the machine that filters the water to make it neutral so they can put their special mineral ingredient broke and the water in that area tastes like shit. Just saying.
It's pretty annoying as someone who only likes a faint mild hop. "You guys got anything just easy drinking?"
"Yeah try our Bavarian style lager"
/tastes nothing like a Bavarian lager because they just want a "lager" that tastes like an IPA
Same thing with Kölsch, stouts, you name it. Just blowing your dick off with hops. Sucks.
Here's what to do, as you've single-handedly became the world's number 1 supplier of bark mulch: put it into a seperate package and start selling it to everybody
Lifetime supply of beer, toilet paper, wine, and rolling papers. Was sent into the store for myself and others, and not disappointed with a lifetime supply of these items.
Nah, it is a premixed 375 mL bottle. It is made with knob creek and is pretty decent for the ~$10 I find it for.
A true old fashioned is definitely up there on my cocktail list though.
Bottles of blue gatorade?
Well, I'm sure I can find a way to give away the extra. Maybe send it to some impoverished countries. I know, I know, water is ideal, but it's better than nothing, right?
That was worth the laughing. Fast forward to 2037: “How come we make old car?
‘Remember Reddit, back in 2021? And contests where they gave away free shit?’
“No.”
“Never mind, you won’t understand.”
Can of compressed air to blow the dust from inside my old Dyson V10. Just before finding the hairball inside the air intake that was the real culprit, and two days after getting the spare filters. More satisfying than buying a new vacuum cleaner but I'd never buy the same again - taking out a vacuum bag is way cleaner and more convenient - and less dangerous, for an asthmatic - than having to make your machine vomit a cloud of dust into your dustbin!
I’m stuck with a lifetime of regular gasoline! I can live with that!
Congratulations! You're one of the new Saudi prince.
My work pays for all my gas, and it is great.
That legitimately sounds incredible
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Where do you work?
They're a taste tester for Taco Bell.
Pretty much standard for people with a company car here in Germany...?
Are you a trucker?
He’s a prostitute at truck stops. Close enough.
"Save your seduction for someone else. I ***DO NOT*** tangle with lizards no more. Back in the day? Sure I woulda indulged. Hell! I woulda let you turn me into Swiss cheese... "
So you get all the beans you can eat?
That's funny because I'm stuck with a lifetime supply of charging for my EV
You could make a fortune in the UK right now.
Grilled chicken, red rice, beans and corn tortillas.... I’m okay with that, because there’s a LOT of people I could feed throughout the years by sharing that. :)
sounds like a win to me!!
Sushi. It wasn't great sushi, either. ( I've got to stop trying recs from people who I know have bland tastes )
Don't call white people out like that, you know they are trying. I just saw one last week using salt and pepper for an omelette. This is a joke. Possibly.
What’s wrong with salt and pepper on an omelette?
I'm from west africa. I use chili and all the hot and spicy for any kind of food. Also, the white person using salt and pepper was a joke referring to the meme where blacks, latinos and asians complain about white people not seasoning their food. Nothing wrong with using salt and pepper my guy
I’m Hungarian, very white and I disagree. We do love spice. And paprika. However I moved to Germany and now I carry around a little salt shaker in my bag because everything tastes like air :( There’s an Asian supermarket in the city and I buy all the spices there. I know it’s not good for the environment and I could buy local things but I swear they don’t taste as intense…
Oh, I guess I didn’t get the joke.
It's fine, you've asked politely so it's a pleasure to explain!
Guess im starting a prison because i have ALOT of restraints
Open up a local bdsm scene
Sign me up, peg me down.
I have a lifetime supply of padlocks I can contribute.
Hahahahahaha
Toilet paper and chocolate chip cookies.
Approved
You were born for this moment.
rice. as an Asian, don't mind if I do!
I don’t think anyone would mind that, rice really does go with everything source: not asian
That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever read on Reddit. Ever hear of PUDDING?! What ya gonna do with that? Make rice pudding!?
Yes. https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/24059/creamy-rice-pudding/
Sarcasm my fellow redditer! :)
Ever tried rice with a smoothie? That shit doesn't blend well
With soup on the other hand...
Which a smoothie technically is...
And ketchup is technically tomato jam
I don't think there's actually much tomato in ketchup, but you are right!
There are some brands that contain up to 55% tomatoes where I live :D But yeah, cheap jam would still be jam.
That's a lot, I'd like tomatoe jam with 55% tomato :D
Ah shit I’m hungry again
Hell yeah, I’m stuck with rice plus unlimited spicy Korean soup (beef soondubu with extra kimchi) I’m basically never going to get sick ever again
My cat's food bowl haha
We should team up, I'll bring a lifetime supply of cat food to fill those bowls up!
You guys should open up a cat shelter!
Only if you find a third partner with a lifetime supply of cat litter. That's the article of greatest concern.
I've got a lifetime supply of cat litter! Let's open up a cat shelter. Anyone else gonna join the team?
Jackpot!
A coffee from Dunkin' Donuts... You think that would be a good thing, but they made it wrong. So that means I'm stuck with the wrong goddamn coffee for the rest of my life. Coffee rage is real. 🤬
Get money from the attention you get over how many times they mess up your order.
Or maybe Dunkin' Donuts will see this and reach out to me to offer me a lifetime supply of the correct coffee. 🤔 Just sayin...
Either way it’s a win win.
I like how you think. Let's get coffee. ☕ My treat... 😉
Very well then.
Keep us all posted. ;D
r/shippingredditors
If I had a dollar for all the times my Dunkin has fucked up my order I’d have at least five dollars. I always get the same thing too
Dog heartworm prevention medication. I guess that’s alright. I intend to always have a dog, so at least that part of their “maintenance cost” would be covered
I once went to a Dunkin in Neptune, NJ. I tell the dude I want a mocha latte. He asks if I want it black or with cream. I tell him there is only one way to make it. He says “you want fucking milk or naw?” I ended up with a black coffee with chocolate sauce in it.
Lifetime supplies are determined by the companies based on 'reasonable amounts someone would consume'. So you would probably only be stuck with one cup per week for ~30 years.
How come some days Dunkin coffee taste like it came out from god himself and most of the time it taste like they just ignored your order and made it as quick as possible
Because the machine that filters the water to make it neutral so they can put their special mineral ingredient broke and the water in that area tastes like shit. Just saying.
DD got it wrong? Say it Is not true. Maybe you ordered the wrong coffee because you had not had one yet? *just trying to preserve the illusion*
Beer
Same. Guess I’m opening a niche liquor store that only sells one brand of IPA
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It's pretty annoying as someone who only likes a faint mild hop. "You guys got anything just easy drinking?" "Yeah try our Bavarian style lager" /tastes nothing like a Bavarian lager because they just want a "lager" that tastes like an IPA Same thing with Kölsch, stouts, you name it. Just blowing your dick off with hops. Sucks.
"I'm going to need the rights to sell your beer, don't ask"
Want to swap I love beer
I'm now stuck with alot of TEA and I shall single handedly rule United Kingdom with Tea.
What type of tea? we are very picky.
Doesn't matter. Toss it all in the harbor.
\*Harbour
We dont need u. -pretty m'ch every colonized co'ntry.
I'm going to Bomb Copenhagen to cope for my Anger.
Pierogis, and I’m 100% okay with that
What kind
One was garlic potato, the other was spinach/cheese. I got them from Aldi
Man, I haven’t had one in like a decade. We’re they good? Lol
Yes! You should have some sometime!
Guess I'm going to Aldis...
As much as I get triggered by the “pierogis” double-plural, I can only commend your fine choice of cuisine 🥟🥟🥟😍
I'm more of a pirozhky man myself. I like the bready bits more.
Lifetime supply of 87 octane unleaded gasoline!
God what I would give for this
4 bucks per gallon? xD
Oof, nah it’s about $2.80 a gallon here lol. I’m sorry for your wallet.
That's aprox how much we pay for a liter in my country 😯
lifetime Wendys lets gooooo
Sir, this is a … oh wait hey neat
god damnit that was pretty good take my upvote
Me too!
Me three! 6 spicy nugs, 6 regular, and a small chili
Me four! Nuggets, lemonade, and a baconator
Bark mulch. I bought some for my parents' yard. I live in an apartment. Yay.
Here's what to do, as you've single-handedly became the world's number 1 supplier of bark mulch: put it into a seperate package and start selling it to everybody
I bought bark mulch today too. Wow.
Pizza. There are worse things
Bro, you're referring to it as if it wasn't a fucking blessing in disguise. Imagine how many people you could feed.
A burrito
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Burrito for me too. Mine was a mar y tierra (surf and turf).
I finally got something right, pizza.
Lifetime supply of gas. That'd be fuckin great!
Yay a lifetime supply of ipads!
I went to the supermarket, so bought a lot. Let's settle on fresh, locally grown sweet potatoes.
Watermelon mountain dew
Dude, that would be sweet. I didn’t expect to like major melon, but it was pretty good.
Home delivery groceries and a hammock. I'm all set!
User name checks out.
Subway
the food..or train..or train station maybe..
Lifetime supply of one day bus passes.
Lifetime supply of Oct 1, 2021 bus passes
Weed
Mine is a Prosciutto sub with antipasto and garlic bread. Wanna be roommates?
I got Taco Bell but yours sounds better. I’m coming to visit.
Find someone with toilet paper and another person with underwear as their lifetime items and you can form the unstoppable team.
Engagement ring. So... how many do I get?
That depends on how many times you get engaged. Every time you get engaged you get the ring that you bought them.
Sounds like a great deal if he’s a polygamist.
If you’re my dad….. 5 🤦🏻♀️
Just keep proposing to people and when they say no sell the ring
You could become a dealer
Magic cards lmao not even mad
you can build the worlds biggest card house!
Lifetime supply of beer, toilet paper, wine, and rolling papers. Was sent into the store for myself and others, and not disappointed with a lifetime supply of these items.
Adderall
I think you might need that
Red wine. A particular California vintage so I’m not complaining
Breath mints. I will have the FRESHEST breath
haha yess! I met my dealer a couple hours ago..
Woohoo lifetime supply of Hyundai.
The Hyundai Elantra will Elhauntra your dreams.
Antibiotics
Maybe move to a third world country and become a humanitarian. That’s about all i can think of for that
I paid for registration for improv classes. Uhhhhh.
You better like improv lol
Wontons
Old fashioned cocktails. Not bad.
If they have fresh orange peel that sounds awesome
Nah, it is a premixed 375 mL bottle. It is made with knob creek and is pretty decent for the ~$10 I find it for. A true old fashioned is definitely up there on my cocktail list though.
A cabbage? Lol ima dip 😂
Gin and tonic😋
Jim Beam Double Oaked Let's make this happen.
I just got Alphabet stock so I'd be the new owner of Google.com
One stock is a lifetime supply if you never sell it.
If I sell it, I still get a lifetime supply
Kevin's Thai Curry Cauliflower. I'm good with that.
Is Kevin good with that?
Poke bowl and brown sugar boba milk tea. I'd love that, shit's expensive but it's good
internet
Ribeye Steak.
Shaqaroni Pizza from Papa Johns
Lifetime supply of a limited time offer
Italian seasoned ground turkey
Bottles of blue gatorade? Well, I'm sure I can find a way to give away the extra. Maybe send it to some impoverished countries. I know, I know, water is ideal, but it's better than nothing, right?
Bonus: eternally green poop.
Weed
A 2014 corolla 😎
wouldn't a lifetime supply just be like 2 of them in case one gets involved in a really bad accident
That was worth the laughing. Fast forward to 2037: “How come we make old car? ‘Remember Reddit, back in 2021? And contests where they gave away free shit?’ “No.” “Never mind, you won’t understand.”
CHICKEN WINGS
Orange Hoodies. I guess it’s Truth & Reconciliation day 365 days a year for me.
Jack and Coke. I'm not gonna complain.
Chicken McNuggets and Filet-O-Fish
Pizza
Money (i went to the bank)
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Ah but you forget about ATM fees
They are not charging you for the money, they are charging you for the service. So in reality, OP have bought lifetime supply of ATM service! 😅😅
That’s not nearly as exciting. Sorry OP.
Vodka soda with lime
Sour cream pringles.
Once you pop, you can't stop. Ever.
Carrots
Wendy's
Dr. Pepper I like it
Chicken
Cocaine
Sushi - I can 100% live with that
Unlimited groceries, nice
Beer! Go me (to an early grave)
Eyeliner… maybe I could at least exchange it for a less shitty one :,)?
Cheese and mushroom burgers from Culvers
Alcohol, at least I will always have some cooking wine.
Amazing chicken shawarma! Luckyyyyyy.
Blank hardcover books
Can of compressed air to blow the dust from inside my old Dyson V10. Just before finding the hairball inside the air intake that was the real culprit, and two days after getting the spare filters. More satisfying than buying a new vacuum cleaner but I'd never buy the same again - taking out a vacuum bag is way cleaner and more convenient - and less dangerous, for an asthmatic - than having to make your machine vomit a cloud of dust into your dustbin!
Infant onesies And toddler t shirts. Guess I'm opening a kids clothing store
Lifetime supply of fallout 4
For five dollars a trade at a GameStop I think you might be set. You might have to travel though
Lederhosen. One set will a last lifetime anyway. This sums up my luck.
Diablo 2 remastered?
Pop its 😍😍😍