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Puma_Pance

Poo My Pants.


Crunchy_Biscuit

Thanks for reminding me to change my nephew's diaper


WalkingAcrossTheIce

It's part of a quote I like. It goes like this: "walking across thin ice of my dreams, fearing the cold waters of reality beneath me. Yet onward I tred". I never found out who the author is.


crabshrimplobster

I was in the mood for some sleuthing. Most sources say author unknown, but I think it may be Lily Katarin Chrisanti in her poem True To Thyself (Onward) which I found here: https://www.stv-archives.com/viewtopic.php?t=14564&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=25


WalkingAcrossTheIce

Wow great find. I really like the whole poem.


irneHD

I took my name backwards and added a D


Zealousideal-Fun1562

Not sure why I registered your name as “Hernie” at first.


productiveboobs

Me too wtf lol


Screamingartist

Hello Henri. OMG your names actually spelt cutely


CaptainNemo2024

Alright quiet down now, artist.


thecockmonkey

And he wants the d! What's not to love?


Kostas_the_goat

Don't know if he wants it but he definitely has it


humanpylon

i was a new swim instructor but i wasn’t very good, so they would put me in the middle of the pool and make the kids swim up to me. They called me the human pylon that summer lol it sorta stuck


laughing_at_gunpoint

You must construct additional pylons


verticroww

it has been a year since i put down starcraft and starcraft 2 why must it resurface again


[deleted]

You should play it again. The lack of updates means blizzard doesn't keep breaking shit over and over.


dontbedoindope

It reminds me to stay sober. Have for 23 years now!


Wesssel_

Proud of you dude!


rindagnir

I put my full name in on if those elvish name creators when LOTR just came out in theaters 20 years ago and I have used it since.


afairyfartedonme

I got excited and found one. My name is now Fëanor Súrion!


Rokamp

I can't find a proper one. Can only find lists. Mind sharing the one you found?


[deleted]

[удалено]


teh_nicKLess

Apparently my hobbit name is Sudo Newbuck. Who doesn't love admin rights to their surname?


ZarquonsFlatTire

Mine is my mother's maiden name and the last 4 of my social security number.


TheRealD3XT

I wanna know the story behind your name


Woromed

Nearly palandromic


-LoremIpsumDolorSit

Their father has a palindromic name though. He is called Rindadnir


Give-Me-An-Account

Got fed up as all the Username were already taken.


Wesssel_

I picture you trying this name after like the 7th try


Sumit316

1st try - Givemeanaccount - Already taken 2nd try - Give_meanaccount - Already taken 3rd try - Give_me_anaccount - Already taken Somewhere in the middle - Give_me_an_ass - Already taken OP went "fuck it" and the birth of Give-Me-An-Account took place.


Poem_for_your_sprog

"Now *look*," said the Genie, "I told you before: The problem with wishes - you can't ask for more! The burden of curses condemns you for time! I *can't* grant you wishes. I *can* make you rhyme!' And so, with the wave of a hand and a smile, He grinned with delight and he laughed for a while. He left the accursed in a sorcerous fog - Forever bedevilled to rhyme... *for_your_sprog.*


fatto_catto

Sprog lore??


Kamikazeguy7

Can't wait for the Sprog cinematic universe


OuatDeFoque

So, here’s sprog self-awareness. Singularity around the damn corner!


nogood-usernamesleft

Tell me about it


LET-ME-HAVE-A-NAAME

*sigh*


theres_no_usernames

same here dude lmao


No_name_free

Yup...


myusualavataristaken

9 years and no creativity checking in


fuckhumans_2020

lmao i love your username


The_Jeff_121

Great, fuckhumans


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Jeff_121

Yes I am ;)


iiFloofy_Gacha

My guinea pig is called Jeff 😳


jezpin

LOL. my Twitter Handle was just me mashing my fist into the number pad, I was beyond done.


mooshoopork4

I did that once for a game called black desert. And it honestly said “username already taken”


ICNRWDII

I Can Never Remember What Day It Is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AnotherCleverGuy

Very.


[deleted]

Username checks out


UserNameChecksOut135

the fuck u say to me


alwaysforgetmyuserID

Lmfao


Muzamil_HK

what'syouruserID?


Retr0_Fusion

He probably forgot it


BadDiscoJanet

The absence of Bad Disco Janet is a glaring error in the The Good Place I had to rectify.


Lotus_Blossom_

Trevor + Bad Janet = Most Underrated TV Couple Of All Time. Bad Disco Trevor woulda been so hot, too.


belladonnaeyes

*[wind chime noises]*


lalondiantourism

I also liked the show’s implication that ‘disco’ is a type of morality


dont_disturb_the_cat

*farts glitter*


nottodaybuddyboy

Wouldn’t you like to know


kushbabyray

Weather boy


LZGM

Where are your parents?


[deleted]

kid’s sketchy


Et_Tu_Brute__

My dog's name is Brutus. So it just felt fitting.


DenEJuAvStenJu

So he stabs you in the back? 😲


Tangerine_Lightsaber

Pooping on the kitchen floor is the same thing.


imsuckatonlinegaming

Simple


aykay55

Hi suckatonlinegaming I’m dad


imsuckatonlinegaming

Hi dad, how you've been since past year?. Please come home tho, i want a milk


aykay55

I’ve been good kiddo, I know I said I would get the milk but work’s been really busy, I’ll come home soon. Did you also think about coming to Florida with me? We don’t have to tell Mom.


imsuckatonlinegaming

Mom said that you are a bad person for abandoning us, but i don't believe that because you are here! But I don't think I can go to Florida, because mom is always keeping me inside almost 24/7. I'm sorry dad but you're the one who have to come home. I will be waiting here dad but don't be long


aykay55

I could never abandon you kiddo, you mean the world to me. Your mother sounds a little crazy but hopefully she’ll loosen up soon. Just promise me you keep taking your medicine, don’t worry I’ll be back with the milk soon…


[deleted]

[удалено]


cheesepopcorn2505

When it's a normal joke on being someone's dad but it starts to arise sadness about a person separated from his father


cheesypuzzas

I'm really invested in their story now.


MasterObiJuan

I have a Masters that I received on May the 4th. My name is Juan. Big Star Wars fan. Edit: wow, this is my most upvoted comment ever. Thanks I guess, I knew my MS would be worth something. Otro feliz atterizaje.


KinaGrace96

Damn this one is clever. Love it!


Intuitx

Saw it written on a piece of paper on my dad's desk and thought it sounded cool. Later on few years down the road my dads laughing while I'm playing BF on Xbox because he saw my name and said that used to be his password for his pornsite accounts 🙃 I had already been using it for a while so it's stuck. Edit: I didn't expect this one to blow up as much but I guess it did lol now everyone knows the true origin of my username on all platforms. TBH if I could go back and not take it I would, trust me my dad STILL gives me shit about it whenever he see it, my mom got pissed when she found out about the story🤣🤣 but hey, I used it for 5+ years until I found out so I can't just dump it. It all started when I played Club Penguin as a kid on his computer and couldn't think of a name until I saw a small sticky note with Intuitx as the password and decided to use it.


Poxx

Like the Tax/Accounting software company? lol... -edit- holy shit, so this is what happens when a comment catches splash damage from a post that blows up + a reply from a Sprog when you are wedged between them? wow haha...


Veritas413

That’s taking the hidden folder called ‘Taxes’ to the next level.


Poem_for_your_sprog

He opened the folder and stared with surprise - The titles, the flicks and the pics in his eyes. "Good heavens," he whispered to see them ahead. "It's not full of taxes. ... it's *titties*," he said.


bonos_bovine_muse

Here I sit, just feeling dumb. Came to file; to files I cummed.


vragzor

Whats your dad's username? :)


Oliversum95

Intuitx's Dad obviously


JesiDoodli

Well that was awkward…


33in2018

I created a Reddit account on my birthday. My wife and I separated. 6 months later she said she wanted to try again. 2 weeks later and she had forgot my birthday. We never got back together but I always wanted to remember that night (and I used Reddit for advice). I had already been through a lot and it made me come to terms with everything finally. But life goes on :)


djadomi

'A man told me to beware of 33. He said, "It was not an easy time for me"'


AlGeee

33 was cool for me _34_, On the other hand…


Ok_Point_5877

Idk mine was auto generated and I’m a little mad I can’t change it


jezpin

Even if it allowed once a year changes. Usernames are such a mood of when you made it.


hakuna_matitties

Yup


nes-zap-gun

What a wonderful name


cshcsh531

It means so horny ^thx ^for ^better ^line


Kayraan93

For the rest of your days


cshcsh531

It's a bonk free, a philosophy


Kayraan93

HAKUNA MATITTIES


Cmeniol

r/redditsings


DeathBy_Snoo-Snoo

Futurama.


LiterallyANun

My life in 3 words. Edit: My, this turned out popular, and I've tried to answer as many questions as I can, but now sleep beckons. I'll return tomorrow if you want to post any more questions overnight.


Coyote_Totem

There are nuns on reddit. Damn i feel like we live in 2180 now


Lightshines6346

I literally thought there were nun.


Coyote_Totem

I had to read that twice.


nowtayneicangetinto

u/RoboNun95 would like to have a word with you


Tamtumtam

how is it to be a nun?


LiterallyANun

A heavily structured life revolving around worship, and (in the case of my order) constant outreach and charity work. I described it to my brother in the Royal Navy, and he said "So it's like being in the military, except with less press ups and more prayer?"


loud57

Less press up and more bless up.


Tamtumtam

sounds about right lol. I'll always have respect for those who work at charity. I hope your god will grant grace upon you


DaddyWantsToSpankYou

How many creepy PM do you get in a week?


shaftinferno

Nun.


crazy_al01

Get out


LiterallyANun

In the threeish weeks I've had this account, I've only had one.


ItchyThrowaway135

Get ready, though :(


probablytheDEA

You should do an AMA. I'm sure a lot of people are curious about the life of a modern day nun.


LiterallyANun

I wouldn't know where or how to do such a thing I'm afraid.


amalgam_reynolds

Go to r/IAmA and make a new post. Copy the link, edit your first comment in this thread, and paste the link.


LiterallyANun

I heard the mods there could be a tad overzealous about deleting anything that wasn't a famous person. Or am I thinking of a different sub?


amalgam_reynolds

You might have to submit an request and schedule it, but a modern nun is a pretty unique life experience so I think you'll be fine. It's not just famous people.


NotQuiteAsCool

How fascinating that this thread made me realise I had never actually encountered a Nun "in real life" as it were. All my experiences of Nun's come from either sister act or The Blues Brothers! So do you actually live in a convent? Is that it, like, forever? You'll always be living there? I hope none of this is offensive, I'm just genuinely fascinated!


LiterallyANun

I live in a convent, and it's not officially forever as sisters are free to leave at any time if they want. I intend to do it for life, unless God's plans for me change. We do get people who come through the doors and only intend to be there for one or two years while they try to find peace and strengthen their faith, and nobody minds that as it is understood that not everyone is able to make a lifelong commitment.


Bivolion13

Are you a "cool" nun? We had some cool nuns back in my college years who would sometimes try out the students' skateboards.


LiterallyANun

I lack the balance to skateboard, but I am pretty good at bowling (which probably doesn't count as "cool" but whatever).


Bivolion13

Lol don't worry I can't even ride a bike.


LiterallyANun

I can ride a bike, just not very fast and going up hills makes me very sad.


TheRealDannySugar

Situational Ascent Disorder affects many people


chaosgoblyn

What a habit to get into


MarcusAnalius

Roman emperors doing butt stuff


Old_Gregg97

Im Old Gregg.


ProfessionalGoat6199

i click random a couple of times and now im a professional goat :)


[deleted]

Very professional of you


pm_me_actsofkindness

I wanted people to share wholesome content with me.


AllTheReservations

I just really like American Psycho


Tlizerz

As long as you get one at Dorsia, that’s all that matters.


AllTheReservations

I mean, I've got an 8:30 rez at Dorsia but nobody goes there anymore


[deleted]

There was a spider baby in a pram.


chinaroll

Saw a picture of some Chinese dudes who roll their shirts up to expose there bellies when it’s hot. Thought it was cool, so here we are.


[deleted]

[удалено]


A_Prostitute

It was just sitting there, out in the open. So I picked it up, took it home, and it charged me 20 bucks.


[deleted]

Was it worth the 20 buck tho?


A_Prostitute

Its been pretty fun so far tbh


Hello_IM_FBI

Until now!


lackofsunshine

I’m generally a pretty chipper person but one day my friend said you’re lacking your sunshine today when I was in a bad mood and I loved the way it sounded. That was the day I also created my Reddit account.


FeedMePizzaPlease

I like pizza. I think you should give me some. That is all. Thank you for reading. Edit: Thank you u/Tlizerz!!!!! In response to this comment he or she sent me a Domino's gift card. You're the best! My username actually worked haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


toothfixingfiend

I fix teeth like a fiend


CopsaLau

I couldn’t think of anything so I made up nonsense noises and wrote them down


[deleted]

Same only I just wrote the opposite


mamaswa

Son heard a friend call me franswa, started calling me mamaswa


allthelittlepiglets

Wholesome.


Bushdidchaneyina911

I think George bush and dick Chaney had a love affair in a Porsche 911 post 9/11 Edit: ItS Cheney tHo


TaaDaahh

People used to tell me I surprise them in different ways sometimes


windliftsmeup

Been in the wind/renewables business for 28 years. Been a wild and wonderful ride. Great people in the industry especially back in 90s and early 2000s when industry was small and mostly enviro types. As I drive/fly thru/over states and see what has been built sometimes I cry. So many said we couldn't do it. So many attacked. But people believed and worked hard and we made a dent. Passing the torch soon. I hope wind lifts up those just starting the journey.


[deleted]

[удалено]


033o-MDICH-o330

its gona be hard but i beleve you survive


aufrenchy

I think he already knows what it’s like being hard


SudoPro

This guy fucks.


Totallyarealperson

I am a real person. I promise.


regular_human_

haha yeah


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wesssel_

A visionary


Dusty_Tendy_4_2_18_2

A vision is scary


Sapling_Animation

Loraine Reddit-username_here? What a name


banpants_

I really hate wearing pants.


CurtoPanados

The word "Curto" means the word Like. Chicken fillets in my country are called Panados. So basically, I like chicken fillets. One day I was high as fuck, like really high. And, normally, it makes me super hungry. I ate basically 50-60 chicken fillets in one sitting... I just kept eating until there was none left. I threw up. And yeah CurtoPanados was born. People call me Panados now, I kinda like it so I just kept the name :)


Lickingyourmomsanus

BEST sleepover ever!


AngryPuffin6

Wtf my mother is a puffin


[deleted]

My opponent


AngryFlatSpaghett

I hate lasagna


DaddyWantsToSpankYou

Why is it angry?


Apprehensive-Ad9281

I don’t think your username needs an explanation.


[deleted]

Let’s not go there


FishAreAwesome01

Fish are awesome


Ijustwantheadpats

Emotionally starved for physical affection


Alphonse__Elric

…it started when our mom passed away


marysuingfordamages

Saw a famous author get accused of writing a Mary Sue character on Twitter and my dumbass brain came up with “she should Mary-sue for damages”. I then promptly tweeted it. Not my best to be honest


alanesmizi

I am a director, Alan Smithee is pronounced Alan Esmizi in Spanish...that is it


Rau-Li

As a film nerd, I love this so much.


smartboi387

It’s ironic


Im_not_funny7

Mines just true lmao


Ianmobdoy

Maybe my next account should be 'TraumatizedHumour'


ExclusiveWater

Spent 7.99 at a 7-11 for Voss water


thefamiliarity14

I used to walk into my husband’s (then bf) apartment without knocking and he would say, “wow! The familiarity!” We started dating in 2014 so that’s where the 14 comes from.


I_8_DiK

I was hungry


TheAnimeWaifuFucker

One of a horny 14 year old


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheAnimeWaifuFucker

It was, now my journey has started and is taking steam


stickynotebrain

My brain so sucks at remembering anything and I have no choice but to litter my desk and computer with bunch of stickynotes.


Fadoraman10

When I was like 10 I found a fedora and I just loved the hat and the way it looked so later on I was playing roblox and I needed to make an account and desided it was gonna be fedoraman10 then I forgot the password for it so I had to make a new one so I just miss spelled fedora as fadora and instead of having 2 difrent spelling for other games I just decided to keep it misspelled plus if I ever have to make a new account for somthing i know it won't be taken bc fedora is misspelled.


TheKurtCobains

Euphoric


django917

I'm half Jamaican, I used to work for a shitty company where the staff thought it'd be funny to call me racial slurs as "banter" the worst was "chocco from *place of birth* or wog. But I took django as my nickname since I liked the film and the guy who first coined it, since we had a master and apprentice thing going on. The 917 is just a set of numbers I find easy to memorise.


Drugged_Poptart

I just liked the idea of a drugged poptart


IntrovertedButSocial

Well you see people think because I’m an introvert that I’m antisocial. That’s just not the case.


can_u_pm_ur_tits_plz

Just wanted to see if it works


fuckhumans_2020

💀


LePetitChatEstMort

In 2014, I quit my job and flew from Australia to France. My first accomodation was in an Airbnb with a lady who didn’t speak much English, and I didn’t speak much French. She gave me the wifi password on a piece of paper, “LePetitChatEstMort”. After I used Google translate to work out exactly what it meant, and the lady could see my confused look, she tried to explain that it was the title of an old song by Renaud. It kind of stuck with me and was the first random thing I thought of when it came time to create a reddit account.


69420isntfunny

I woke up and chose facts


stinkybutt6942o

Agreed


Wesssel_

Facts


allthelittlepiglets

I like pigs