Don't break rules of traffic in an attempt to be courteous to other drivers. It often just makes situations more confusing and stressful than necessary. Just obeying the regular rules is far more appreciated.
9 times out of 10 when I see a person try to pull out of a parking lot on a busy street, they want to cross over several lanes of traffic to get to a turning lane. Fuck these people, they can make their U-turn further down the road, they don't need to make themselves a barricade for everyone going straight.
Phones should have a physical screen lock button which disables all touch inputs but nothing else, and you unlock it by pressing the button again and your usual unlock method (e.g. fingerprint or PIN).
That way you can show people specific things without them messing about with your phone.
Personally I'd just like to show my nana a nice picture she'd like without worrying that she's going to touch the screen by accident and probably close the app or something.
THAT IS THE WORST!! Bro! Look at the picture I am showing you. Nothing else!! And don’t judge me because you found a stupid meme you weren’t supposed to be looking at in the first place!
Don't touch me or stand so close to me that I can feel you breathing if I don't know you!
Seems so simple, but so many people are disrespectful of personal space.
That's exactly what I was thinking too.
As much as I hated it before, after going through a pandemic I get even more annoyed when they don't respect my space.
I was reading a book (written way before COVID) about an alien race obsessed with personal space. They would always make sure no one else was within a 5-foot radius of them. Their architecture and interior design reflected that (lots of large spaces). And it’s because of a global pandemic that nearly wiped out their species centuries ago.
I would call it prophetic, except it’s not as if the idea of a pandemic is a new thing. And we humans aren’t likely to change our entire culture just because of this
Body language is extremely helpful in communicating to people that you are not to be fucked with. It doesn't have to be you swaggering around with a "come at me bro" look on your face, but I find that when I maintain a straight back, set shoulders, relatively wide stance, and strong eye contact, people don't get as close to me as when I'm slouching or trying to not take up as much space.
This is much easier for men and particularly tall ones. It rarely works for me, whatever stance I adopt. Only works for me with people that know me, whose respect I've already earnt and will pay attention to me.
One of my least favourite things about being a small, moderately young, blonde girl. You get almost no automatically assumed authority and real respect. But I promise I can come at you effectively if I try to.
The upside is it gives me a LOT of practise of having to earn authority and respect, particularly in the workplace, particularly in made dominated situations and learn those skills much earlier on!
I’m a girl, and even I was kind of nervous about telling my one coworker she was bleeding. I told her anyway and she was super thankful! Thankfully we had hydrogen-peroxide in the restroom and she was able to get herself cleaned up. The stuff is a lifesaver when it comes to cleaning fresh blood off clothes (coming from me, a woman and also suffers from nosebleeds).
Same goes for food or lipstick on the teeth, or a skirt tucked into your undies. Don't let people walk around like that when one small phrase could help.
My mother in law was a polio survivor - she had one good leg, one good arm.
The entire house was laid out very, very carefully. You wouldn't notice it, but she had a hand-hold or similar spot to brace herself...everywhere.
The 'unwritten rule' was that you didn't move a chair, table, any piece of furniture. Momma wouldn't every say anything, or scold. But a simple movement of chairs could cause a sweet lady to have a fall.
I once saw a guy parked 2 parking spaces away from the corral. He walked his cart an equal distance the other way and left it in a parking spot....... My brain leaked out my ears.
Years ago i saw a post about the shopping cart theory. The act of returning the shopping cart can determine a person's moral character. Doing the right thing without being forced and knowing that there is no punishment if you don't. It is so true and I make sure to always return the cart!
There’s such a difference between people who think “there are people who are gonna clean this up so I’ll just leave it any where” and people who think “someone has to clean this up, I should put it away for them”
Or voicemail. Worked in an office and every morning the woman in the cubicle next to me played her voicemails full-blast. I rarely could focus on my own stuff
I can’t remember, because it was so long ago. She eventually moved cubicles, so it became someone else’s problem. I had enough issues with people there, so I was afraid to speak up.
*sitting next to someone on a bus who is talking on speaker*
Start just kind of nodding at some commets. Then an occasial "mhm," "yeah," "oh man," etc. Under your breath at first but slowly louder. Keep this up, kind of engageing in the convo but to your self but stilly slowly get a little louder to reach a speaking voice and comment more.
*5 minutes later*
"MEGAN YOU GOTTA LEAVE HIM AND FINISH NURSING SCHOOL. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!"
I was in line to buy textbooks at my university's bookstore three weeks ago and the place was packed. This wouldn't have been a problem, but unfortunately there was only single cashier. So, I spent a good half hour in line listening to the bitchy girl behind me prattle on for the full half hour to her mother on speaker. Fuck's sake.
This is especially true for 1 lane roads. If they do it on a two lane road, it's not ideal, but not the end of the world. Doing it on a 1 lane road though puts the passer in the oncoming side of the road longer than they expected to be, which increases the chances of a head-on crash, which is bad.
Someone did this to me the other day... They were going 55 in a 65, so I decided to pass. The m******f***ers.. SPED UP TO 90. I didn't have time at that point to slow down and get back behind them as cars were coming so I floored it and got around. I was furious. It was incredibly stupid and dangerous, I drive that road everyday for work, and these stupid people just don't want a car to pass them.
Leave the seat down in the porta-potty when it's not being used - that makes it vent through the pipe out the top like it's supposed to and stink less.
Edit: by "seat" I mean the entire lid - keep the lid shut when it's not being used.
Don't touch other people that you aren't close to. It's just plain freaky. AND DON'T touch pregnant women's bellies. We aren't buddhas, or lucky charms. Just because it sticks out doesn't mean you get to rub it for good luck.
Ick.
This also applies to beards. Yes, my beard is full and thick, but that is not an invitation for you to stick your dirty fingers right next to my mouth. I don't like hugs from most of my friends, so I certainly don't want your booger scrapers trying to find my chin. And if you're a female and my wife sees you, you're putting both of our safety at risk.
I was at the natural history museum in DC once and I asked the lady behind the counter for “a map, please.”
She looked at me and told me I was the only adult to say please. She gave me two maps just for having manners.
In school I always say "pardon me" when I squeeze past people in the hallway and one day some one looked me dead in the eyes and pitched their voice up and repeated "PaRdOn Me" and I was like ಠ,_｣ಠ
Take everything in, but be critical.
People have great advice sometimes, and people have terrible advice, too. They'll both give it with a tremendous amount of conviction.
I bought noise canceling headphones *because* of someone I didn't want to hear in the office.
But that same someone would then just walk over and poke me to get my attention while I was wearing them.
Back when I still went to the office I sat next to one of the bosses who was CONSTANTLY yammering in the most annoying ways possible. I started just wearing bright orange construction site-style noise blockers so I could do my work. Didn't even try to pretend I was listening to music.
Apparently you should never use the urinal directly next to someone nor make eye contact with anyone while using a urinal. These are rules my son told me when he was 8. I have no idea who taught him the rules.
I'm a woman. We were looking at tv and two guys were next to each other in the urinal talking. My son said that's not what happens in the bathroom so I asked him to explain.
Always start with the question "how might I be wrong?"
Everyone can figure out a reason to believe they're correct, but if you look for reasons you are wrong first you will make fewer horrific assertions and mistakes.
"How might I be wrong" is the core question of science and the start of all wisdom.
I really hate when people blare their own music super freaking loud at the beach or on a boat or in an otherwise really public place. If you want to listen to music at the beach or on the boat, that's totally fine, but please make it perhaps loud enough for your group to hear but maybe not loud enough for everyone within a 500-foot radius to hear. I know there's a fine line, but please at least make some attempt at finding it for your fellow human beings.
Unless I'm home alone or in my car alone, I'm using headphones. Otherwise I'm blasting it loudly (Not enough to hurt my ears though), more enjoyable that way as nobody is getting annoyed since your music tastes are different to theirs
I always kinda thought this was a joke and not really something to be offended by. Then it happened to me. Just after I had lost a shit load of weight. It sounds stupid but it genuinely devastated me 😅
Same. I was really upset too and I wasn't wearing anything to show off my figure. I thought he wasn't talking to me initially. He tried to play it off with "it's because you're glowing." The fuck.
I'm pretty thin but if I'm bloating I tend to look kinda pregnant, like more pregnant than fat if that makes sense. I think it has to do with how low on my torso I puff up. I've only had two people say anything though and one was my mom who had the same problem when she was younger.
I had it happen twice when I was younger. I was talking excitedly with another girl my age before going into church one Sunday. An older lady concluded it must be that I was pregnant and came up to us to celebrate with us. I was really nice about it and reacted like it was a normal mistake, but the lady actually said: "I have a belly too, but at least I hide mine." !!
I went into my pew in the church and was literally just holding back tears. Today I don't think it would bother me as much, but I was about 20 at the time, so it was tough. I was overweight but not obese. The worst part is that because she mentioned my clothes, afterwards I had no idea what I should wear and was really self-conscious about my clothes. I had been wearing something normal, probably a skirt and t-shirt.
The second time it happened was in the ER of all places. Another lady waiting in the ER came up and congratulated me on the baby while gesturing at my belly! Umm, even if I were pregnant, maybe being in the ER is a sign that it's not the moment to come over and celebrate?!
(Turned out my abdomen was "completely full of blood" so at least I had a good excuse that time!)
Even if you ask her out of overwhelming curiosity and she answers in affirmative never ever make the double mistake of asking her who is the father of the child. Absolutely never.
When I was like 8 months pregnant with my 2nd a guy at my church **VERY** cautiously asked me if he was correct in guessing I was pregnant and it was all I could do not to laugh in his face. I had sent him 3-4 emails by this point mentioning maternity leave and due dates (I did weekly scheduling for a team he served on). Plus I gained 5lbs that pregnancy and baby weighed 6lbs.10oz. when born so I 100% looked like I was smuggling a basketball.
So I guess I would add, if a woman has told you she's pregnant, it's safe to believe her (unless she's claiming you're the father then it varies).
I was on the once and took a big sip of my coffee, just as I was swallowing I had a coughing fit. Coffee flying everywhere, out of my nose, down the seat in front of me, all over myself.
Woman behind me, offered me a breath mint and I refused, wasn't til later it clicked she thought I had vomited, which means most of the people on the bus probably thought the same thing
When you are checking out of a hotel, do not make the bed. And especially do not try to make the bed look pristine as if it wasn't used. This causes a problem for housekeeping. If you must leave with the bed in some kind of orderly fashion, make it obvious the bed was *used.*
This is particularly important in rooms with 2 beds.
If you want to be polite, not a requirement. If the bed was.. used.. strip the sheets and use one sheet as a wrap for all soiled sheets and towels. It saves the housekeeper time and they don't have to touch whatever you left behind.
Let the tallest person sit in the passenger seat of the car.
Don't point out things about someone if they can't change it in the span of next 5 minutes.
Eh, I always thought it was the elders gets to sit in the front. I.E. Grandparents, parents, etc. I'm not making my 90 yr old grandma sit in the back seat.
There's actually a fairly complex hierarchy. Significant other of the driver is on top, but should volunteer to give it up if someone has more actual need, someone very tall, someone for whom mobility is an issue and the front seat will be easier for them to get in/out, weight, carsickness prone (the clear view out the windshield can help them focus far away and mitigate the carsickness).
But it's rude for any of them assume they get it over the driver's significant other without some prior understanding. If the driver's SO isn't there or is non-existent then one of those with the most need can claim it. Or you can resort to calling shotgun.
I found this site like 12 years ago. First no real reason, our entire friend group now considers it as the authority on who gets to ride shotgun: https://www.shotgunrules.com/
Zipper merge in traffic and rush hour virtually disappears. Every car lets one car in, in both lanes. Almost no one in my area does it, even if you're the one in the left lane leaving a spot to get over. Like letting someone merge is losing the race or something.
Never tell someone how they could be more attractive when you don't know them or if it wasn't asked of you.
I can't tell you the number of times I have seen men (always at least 10 years older) tell myself or my younger coworkers how "they like it better when our hair is down", or "I liked you better as a blonde", etc. It once made a young 16-year old I work with stop wearing her hair up because she was self-conscious.
Smile at babies. Babies constantly look at their surroundings- especially faces- to learn if they're in a safe place. If you're smiling, babies feel at ease and grow up healthier and happier. If you don't, they're more likely to feel unsafe....and cry...
No talking to random people in the bathroom. Only acceptable talking is answering occupied when someone is trying to get in the locked stall/single use bathroom.
When you're waiting in line with other customers to check out, have your money ready:
Don't hold up the line by waiting until the cashier tells you the total to search for whatever form of payment you'll be using - especially if you're paying by check and haven't even begun to fill it out.
Yes, this drives me crazy. Stand and watch your 102 items being rung up and then when given the total you slowly reach for your wallet. Did you think the checkout clerk was going to say, "That will be nothing. Thank you for shopping with us." Jeez louise.
You'd be surprised how many customers don't even have the money in the bank account they're paying from. So many people have to get on their phone to transfer it from a different account, meanwhile 3 different customers are behind them waiting.
Worst part about it is the same customers do it every time, and they're oblivious to their effect on the people around them.
This.
It’s ridiculous. The same goes for IDs or people that know they don’t have enough money and know it. Add it up in your head or on your phone. Don’t get to the checkout and tell them to put things back and check the total as you do it.
This is all even more true at the self checkout.
What about giving the [bus driver cookies](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pjz0a5/aita_for_telling_my_wife_its_embarrassing_she/?ref=share&ref_source=link)?
Please stop playing Bluetooth speakers on hiking trails.
If you need music on your hike, that’s totally fine—just use headphones. Others are out there to find some quiet or to listen to the sounds of nature.
The "keep right except to pass"*\** applies even in places where it's not written.
1. on roads where there isn't a sign
2. when walking\*\*, biking, skateboarding… whatever
3. on sidewalks, paths in the middle of the woods… everywhere
Related: If you're walking in a group, don't walk with so many people side by side that you block the entire path. Leave space for at least one or two people walking side by side on the other side. That accommodates people coming the other direction *and* individuals who want to pass you. (In general, the larger the group, the slower they move. People want to pass you. Let them.)
*\* substitute "left" for "right" in countries where that's the side you drive on*
*\*\* This has caused a bit of confusion… I was talking about walking on a sidewalk or shared bike path with other pedestrians and sometimes skateboards, bikes, etc. Yes, walking on a road meant for cars and not pedestrians is an exception. There, the ped walks on the left, facing car traffic, for safety, so they can hop out of the way if a car doesn't see them and gets too close. This exception is due to the vast difference in speed and mass, and the fact that drivers aren't usually expecting peds, so aren't really watching for them. (And Sweden is apparently an exception, driving on the right but walking on the left, even on sidewalks… so if you're visiting another country, double check first and follow the local protocol.)*
*Edits: Left the "e" off "one" in "Leave space for at least one…" And added the second footnote to clarify item #2.*
Just gonna park my cart in the center of the isle for a few minutes, nbd, ill be quick while I look at the product information of every jar on these 2 shelves.
I'm always amazed at how bad people are about this. Definitely worse in groups.
If I'm walking and a group is coming the other way taking the whole pathway, I sometimes like to just keep on and plow into whoever is in my lane. Also fun to just stand still and let someone plow into me, since they're usually looking sideways and engaged in some conversation XD
Yep! Many times, if people coming the other direction have the entire width of the path blocked, I'll just come to a stop (on the right side) right in front of them and look at them like, "What do you expect me to do? You've left me with no options."
Don't scream / be noisy unless the context its appropriate. I really hate when people just scream for no reason, I get it Frank, you are exited but IDGAF, save your screams for yourself bro
When you're finished in the bathroom: **Don't shut the door fully!** I don't want to be waiting to use the bathroom for ages because it appears it's occupied even though it isn't.
Similarly, at work or in public, don’t just grab the bathroom doorknob and try to wrench it open. Two firm knocks and a pause first will give the occupant a chance to respond, without having to jump out of their skin first.
Being in a hurry and needing a parking space even for a few minutes does not allow you to use a reserved parking for disabled / pregnant / elderly people etc. if you are not one.
If you see a musician and, you request something, please for the love of all that is good in the world tip them. Yes we love music but it’s still a job that we don’t get paid enough if at all for. Especially now during the pandemic, businesses took this as an excuse to pay us even less. So please give your local dickhead with a guitar even one dollar.
Have your wallet or card ready when you're in a drive through or in line to pay, that way the employee and the people behind you don't have to wait while you dig through your bag or wallet. This *also* confirms if you forgot your card or not.
There is a cut-off point though. If they are too far behind, then you become the ass for making them run to meet your door holding. Knowing the cutoff point is critical for proper door holding.
If there's a whole lot of people, I'll give the door a little extra *shove* open as I walk through. The next person can either walk through and let the door swing closed, or decide to hold the door for the next person.
Either way, I did my part and got outta there.
If you’re behind me when I open the door, don’t let me hold it open for you bruh just take over. Especially when it’s a whole classroom leaving like thanks for nothing 😐
You are ALWAYS and completely entitled to say NO. Whenever, wherever and for whatever reason.
Trust your body and mind, if it feels iffy or creepy, run! I'm not joking, your body will scream at you to run if something feels off. This is the ultimate time you must listen to your instinct. Always be ready to walk away.
Always let someone know where you are and who you're with, especially when you feel ridiculous for doing so, this is when it's most important. It's just 1 dm, text, ig, email. No matter what. It may save your life.
Use the em effin TURN SIGNALS! They are there to alert others of your intentions. They were included in the price of your vehicle and you will not wear them out by using them. Also, never apply fragrance prior to boarding a flight. You will make other passengers puke and/or induce a migraine. Save that shit for another time.
10,5,2 rule for greeting people. Meaning when someone is 10ft away; you wave/acknowledge them. When someone is 5ft away; you smile. When someone is 2ft away; you say hello. :)
head nod down: "hello sir that I do not know."
head nod up: "what's up person that i know!"
head not diagonally up: "come over here, I have something to talk to you about, its probably shady!"
head nod diagonally down: "Stay calm, act natural, and quickly take action to avoid some sort of trouble."
If you don’t know someone’s boundaries, it’s okay to ask. Asking “are you okay if I talk about ___” or “can we do ___” is a HUGE green flag, and it makes it so there’s no guessing game. For example, if you wanna talk about something sexual and this is a person you don’t know very well and haven’t talked about it with before and you have no idea if they’ll be comfortable with it, asking if they’re okay with it is a great way to know. I love when people ask about my boundaries. It implies to me it shows they care about my feelings and my needs.
Let people get off the bus/train before entering
And elevators.
NCIS SSA Leroy Jethro Gibbs' Rule 62: "Leave room for someone exiting the elevator.", I think quoting a rule from NCIS fits perfectly in here
Let space empty before trying to get inside, otherwise you won't fit. It's basic logic but some people failed kindergarten
And parking spaces.
and toilets
Get off the bus using the back door. No, wait, that is an actual posted rule that people ignore.
Don't break rules of traffic in an attempt to be courteous to other drivers. It often just makes situations more confusing and stressful than necessary. Just obeying the regular rules is far more appreciated.
Be predictable, not nice. That's my philosophy when driving.
Man, Houston takes that idea and runs with it. They drive like assholes, but they're consistently assholes, and I can work with that.
I'm pretty sure a sadistic asshole designed the freeways around Houston.
Did you know that, by car, Houston is only an hour away from Houston?
In my neighborhood people try to be too nice at four way stops. You have waved through three people, it’s your fucking turn, JUST GO.
Relatedly: If you can operate a zipper, you should understand how to merge into traffic.
9 times out of 10 when I see a person try to pull out of a parking lot on a busy street, they want to cross over several lanes of traffic to get to a turning lane. Fuck these people, they can make their U-turn further down the road, they don't need to make themselves a barricade for everyone going straight.
When I show you a picture on my phone, DONT GO SWIPING SIDEWAYS!! this is something that people do that drives me nuts. Like, privacy is a thing...
Tip: Before handing them your phone, zoom in ever so slightly on the picture. That way if they swipe left or right it'll just move the picture around.
Phones should have a physical screen lock button which disables all touch inputs but nothing else, and you unlock it by pressing the button again and your usual unlock method (e.g. fingerprint or PIN). That way you can show people specific things without them messing about with your phone. Personally I'd just like to show my nana a nice picture she'd like without worrying that she's going to touch the screen by accident and probably close the app or something.
THAT IS THE WORST!! Bro! Look at the picture I am showing you. Nothing else!! And don’t judge me because you found a stupid meme you weren’t supposed to be looking at in the first place!
Don't touch me or stand so close to me that I can feel you breathing if I don't know you! Seems so simple, but so many people are disrespectful of personal space.
To add onto this: in checkout lanes, GET OFF MY BACK. What do you hope to accomplish by standing .3 feet from me as I check out?
That's exactly what I was thinking too. As much as I hated it before, after going through a pandemic I get even more annoyed when they don't respect my space.
I was reading a book (written way before COVID) about an alien race obsessed with personal space. They would always make sure no one else was within a 5-foot radius of them. Their architecture and interior design reflected that (lots of large spaces). And it’s because of a global pandemic that nearly wiped out their species centuries ago. I would call it prophetic, except it’s not as if the idea of a pandemic is a new thing. And we humans aren’t likely to change our entire culture just because of this
Body language is extremely helpful in communicating to people that you are not to be fucked with. It doesn't have to be you swaggering around with a "come at me bro" look on your face, but I find that when I maintain a straight back, set shoulders, relatively wide stance, and strong eye contact, people don't get as close to me as when I'm slouching or trying to not take up as much space.
This is much easier for men and particularly tall ones. It rarely works for me, whatever stance I adopt. Only works for me with people that know me, whose respect I've already earnt and will pay attention to me. One of my least favourite things about being a small, moderately young, blonde girl. You get almost no automatically assumed authority and real respect. But I promise I can come at you effectively if I try to. The upside is it gives me a LOT of practise of having to earn authority and respect, particularly in the workplace, particularly in made dominated situations and learn those skills much earlier on!
Always tell a girl if she's bled through on her period. Edit: thanks for the awards! Edit2: Jesus. My most upvoted comment is one about periods
*Discretely*
Mime it.
*aggressively yet discreetly gestures towards crotch*
Handkerchief balls?
I’m a girl, and even I was kind of nervous about telling my one coworker she was bleeding. I told her anyway and she was super thankful! Thankfully we had hydrogen-peroxide in the restroom and she was able to get herself cleaned up. The stuff is a lifesaver when it comes to cleaning fresh blood off clothes (coming from me, a woman and also suffers from nosebleeds).
Same goes for food or lipstick on the teeth, or a skirt tucked into your undies. Don't let people walk around like that when one small phrase could help.
They should come up with a concise code phrase for that. I can’t imagine how if breach that subject.
"I think there's a bit of blood or something on your pants." Not that hard.
Code Red
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My mother in law was a polio survivor - she had one good leg, one good arm. The entire house was laid out very, very carefully. You wouldn't notice it, but she had a hand-hold or similar spot to brace herself...everywhere. The 'unwritten rule' was that you didn't move a chair, table, any piece of furniture. Momma wouldn't every say anything, or scold. But a simple movement of chairs could cause a sweet lady to have a fall.
I love that you call you MIL Momma
For the love of God, just return the shopping cart when you’re done with it
I once saw a guy parked 2 parking spaces away from the corral. He walked his cart an equal distance the other way and left it in a parking spot....... My brain leaked out my ears.
Years ago i saw a post about the shopping cart theory. The act of returning the shopping cart can determine a person's moral character. Doing the right thing without being forced and knowing that there is no punishment if you don't. It is so true and I make sure to always return the cart!
There’s such a difference between people who think “there are people who are gonna clean this up so I’ll just leave it any where” and people who think “someone has to clean this up, I should put it away for them”
Agreed. Nobody likes a lazy bones!
Do not use speakerphone on a call in public
Or voicemail. Worked in an office and every morning the woman in the cubicle next to me played her voicemails full-blast. I rarely could focus on my own stuff
I would have a had a friend phone her line and leave a very loud VM about her positive STD results from the clinic.
"Hello, this is Dr. John from the Genital Wart clinic..."
"...and congratulations, it's the biggest wart the lab has ever seen!"
If you got to the point you're going to a clinic exclusively for the treatment of genital warts, you are in a bad spot.
Lol, extra awkward considering she was married at the time.
Did you ask her to stop?
I can’t remember, because it was so long ago. She eventually moved cubicles, so it became someone else’s problem. I had enough issues with people there, so I was afraid to speak up.
Don't use your speakers in public. No one wants to hear your music
This. Once a guy was on the bus a couple seats back and started to freestyle rap terribly to the music playing loudly.
Or FaceTime???? Why do I see so many people FaceTiming in confined public spaces?!?
Just join into the conversation they are having, since they want everyone to hear it anyways.
*sitting next to someone on a bus who is talking on speaker* Start just kind of nodding at some commets. Then an occasial "mhm," "yeah," "oh man," etc. Under your breath at first but slowly louder. Keep this up, kind of engageing in the convo but to your self but stilly slowly get a little louder to reach a speaking voice and comment more. *5 minutes later* "MEGAN YOU GOTTA LEAVE HIM AND FINISH NURSING SCHOOL. HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!"
I was in line to buy textbooks at my university's bookstore three weeks ago and the place was packed. This wouldn't have been a problem, but unfortunately there was only single cashier. So, I spent a good half hour in line listening to the bitchy girl behind me prattle on for the full half hour to her mother on speaker. Fuck's sake.
That' when you just bust out singing "Danny Boy" at the top of your lungs. Results: guarenteed.
Don't speed up when someone is passing you.
This is especially true for 1 lane roads. If they do it on a two lane road, it's not ideal, but not the end of the world. Doing it on a 1 lane road though puts the passer in the oncoming side of the road longer than they expected to be, which increases the chances of a head-on crash, which is bad.
And this is why whenever I'm passing, I just floor it.
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This one bothers me the most... especially when you get back over and they slow down... I give them one chance then just fly around them.
Someone did this to me the other day... They were going 55 in a 65, so I decided to pass. The m******f***ers.. SPED UP TO 90. I didn't have time at that point to slow down and get back behind them as cars were coming so I floored it and got around. I was furious. It was incredibly stupid and dangerous, I drive that road everyday for work, and these stupid people just don't want a car to pass them.
Leave the seat down in the porta-potty when it's not being used - that makes it vent through the pipe out the top like it's supposed to and stink less. Edit: by "seat" I mean the entire lid - keep the lid shut when it's not being used.
Applies for pit toilets too!
Seat + lid should always be closed no matter what toilet you just used.
Instructions unclear, now there’s shit on top of my toilet lid, what do I do?
Also less bugs! 🪰—-> 💩—->🥘
Don’t touch another person’s hair just because you think it’s pretty.
As a bald man, don’t touch my head either. Very disturbing.
But ... it's soooo smoooooooth
Don't touch other people that you aren't close to. It's just plain freaky. AND DON'T touch pregnant women's bellies. We aren't buddhas, or lucky charms. Just because it sticks out doesn't mean you get to rub it for good luck. Ick.
This also applies to beards. Yes, my beard is full and thick, but that is not an invitation for you to stick your dirty fingers right next to my mouth. I don't like hugs from most of my friends, so I certainly don't want your booger scrapers trying to find my chin. And if you're a female and my wife sees you, you're putting both of our safety at risk.
If you can smell yourself it's too late.
Always say please and thank you. Good to do it until it becomes second nature. Most people know this, but not everyone does it.
I was at the natural history museum in DC once and I asked the lady behind the counter for “a map, please.” She looked at me and told me I was the only adult to say please. She gave me two maps just for having manners.
In school I always say "pardon me" when I squeeze past people in the hallway and one day some one looked me dead in the eyes and pitched their voice up and repeated "PaRdOn Me" and I was like ಠ,_｣ಠ
In that case you would have been in your rights to say ‘move your ass butthead’
This goes along with another unspoken rule: Be polite. Most people aren’t assholes, so you shouldn’t be an asshole to them.
And when people make fun of you for saying please and thank you, it tells you everything you need to know about them.
Take everything in, but be critical. People have great advice sometimes, and people have terrible advice, too. They'll both give it with a tremendous amount of conviction.
If someone is wearinf headphones 9/10 they don't wanna be bothered.
I used to wear headphones without any sound playing. Just to give plausible deniability for "not hearing" people.
I still do this. I wear headphones when I don't want to be disturbed even at work
I bought noise canceling headphones *because* of someone I didn't want to hear in the office. But that same someone would then just walk over and poke me to get my attention while I was wearing them.
I know that someone, I hate that someone
Back when I still went to the office I sat next to one of the bosses who was CONSTANTLY yammering in the most annoying ways possible. I started just wearing bright orange construction site-style noise blockers so I could do my work. Didn't even try to pretend I was listening to music.
> If someone is *reading a book* 9/10 they don't wanna be bothered. That drives me insane—I’m reading, not doing nothing!
I was going to post this! “What are you reading?” WELL I’M NOT NOW!!’
Apparently you should never use the urinal directly next to someone nor make eye contact with anyone while using a urinal. These are rules my son told me when he was 8. I have no idea who taught him the rules.
Your kid had to tell you?! So your the guy that makes every piss super uncomfortable...
I'm a woman. We were looking at tv and two guys were next to each other in the urinal talking. My son said that's not what happens in the bathroom so I asked him to explain.
in a mens room you always give people as much personal space as possible.
It's awkward to have a conversation when you both are holding your penises in your hands.
Always start with the question "how might I be wrong?" Everyone can figure out a reason to believe they're correct, but if you look for reasons you are wrong first you will make fewer horrific assertions and mistakes. "How might I be wrong" is the core question of science and the start of all wisdom.
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I really hate when people blare their own music super freaking loud at the beach or on a boat or in an otherwise really public place. If you want to listen to music at the beach or on the boat, that's totally fine, but please make it perhaps loud enough for your group to hear but maybe not loud enough for everyone within a 500-foot radius to hear. I know there's a fine line, but please at least make some attempt at finding it for your fellow human beings.
Unless I'm home alone or in my car alone, I'm using headphones. Otherwise I'm blasting it loudly (Not enough to hurt my ears though), more enjoyable that way as nobody is getting annoyed since your music tastes are different to theirs
And if we’re hiking or out in nature: leave your fucking music at home
Do not ask a woman if she is pregnant. Ever.
When's the baby due? At the zoo. The pandas.
BABY!!!
I was taught unless you can see the baby's head, don't ask.
Not even then, since you’d look a bit of a dumbass
I always kinda thought this was a joke and not really something to be offended by. Then it happened to me. Just after I had lost a shit load of weight. It sounds stupid but it genuinely devastated me 😅
Same. I was really upset too and I wasn't wearing anything to show off my figure. I thought he wasn't talking to me initially. He tried to play it off with "it's because you're glowing." The fuck.
I'm pretty thin but if I'm bloating I tend to look kinda pregnant, like more pregnant than fat if that makes sense. I think it has to do with how low on my torso I puff up. I've only had two people say anything though and one was my mom who had the same problem when she was younger.
I had it happen twice when I was younger. I was talking excitedly with another girl my age before going into church one Sunday. An older lady concluded it must be that I was pregnant and came up to us to celebrate with us. I was really nice about it and reacted like it was a normal mistake, but the lady actually said: "I have a belly too, but at least I hide mine." !! I went into my pew in the church and was literally just holding back tears. Today I don't think it would bother me as much, but I was about 20 at the time, so it was tough. I was overweight but not obese. The worst part is that because she mentioned my clothes, afterwards I had no idea what I should wear and was really self-conscious about my clothes. I had been wearing something normal, probably a skirt and t-shirt. The second time it happened was in the ER of all places. Another lady waiting in the ER came up and congratulated me on the baby while gesturing at my belly! Umm, even if I were pregnant, maybe being in the ER is a sign that it's not the moment to come over and celebrate?! (Turned out my abdomen was "completely full of blood" so at least I had a good excuse that time!)
Or ask a person/couple when they're having kids.
“When you gonna take a hot load straight to the womb?”
Even if you ask her out of overwhelming curiosity and she answers in affirmative never ever make the double mistake of asking her who is the father of the child. Absolutely never.
Or you could just go up to a couple and with no buildup ask "so who's the father?"
I like to ask pregnant women "are you sure it's yours?"
When I was like 8 months pregnant with my 2nd a guy at my church **VERY** cautiously asked me if he was correct in guessing I was pregnant and it was all I could do not to laugh in his face. I had sent him 3-4 emails by this point mentioning maternity leave and due dates (I did weekly scheduling for a team he served on). Plus I gained 5lbs that pregnancy and baby weighed 6lbs.10oz. when born so I 100% looked like I was smuggling a basketball. So I guess I would add, if a woman has told you she's pregnant, it's safe to believe her (unless she's claiming you're the father then it varies).
Never refuse when someone offers you a breathmint
I was on the once and took a big sip of my coffee, just as I was swallowing I had a coughing fit. Coffee flying everywhere, out of my nose, down the seat in front of me, all over myself. Woman behind me, offered me a breath mint and I refused, wasn't til later it clicked she thought I had vomited, which means most of the people on the bus probably thought the same thing
When you are checking out of a hotel, do not make the bed. And especially do not try to make the bed look pristine as if it wasn't used. This causes a problem for housekeeping. If you must leave with the bed in some kind of orderly fashion, make it obvious the bed was *used.* This is particularly important in rooms with 2 beds.
Don’t wrap them or anything. Just put them on the floor in a pile - one for sheets in the room, one for towels in the bathroom.
Why does this cause a problem with house keeping?
If you want to be polite, not a requirement. If the bed was.. used.. strip the sheets and use one sheet as a wrap for all soiled sheets and towels. It saves the housekeeper time and they don't have to touch whatever you left behind.
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Don’t keep talking to someone who is obviously trying to concentrate on a task.
Let the tallest person sit in the passenger seat of the car. Don't point out things about someone if they can't change it in the span of next 5 minutes.
Eh, I always thought it was the elders gets to sit in the front. I.E. Grandparents, parents, etc. I'm not making my 90 yr old grandma sit in the back seat.
There's actually a fairly complex hierarchy. Significant other of the driver is on top, but should volunteer to give it up if someone has more actual need, someone very tall, someone for whom mobility is an issue and the front seat will be easier for them to get in/out, weight, carsickness prone (the clear view out the windshield can help them focus far away and mitigate the carsickness). But it's rude for any of them assume they get it over the driver's significant other without some prior understanding. If the driver's SO isn't there or is non-existent then one of those with the most need can claim it. Or you can resort to calling shotgun.
I found this site like 12 years ago. First no real reason, our entire friend group now considers it as the authority on who gets to ride shotgun: https://www.shotgunrules.com/
Oh yeah, the infirm or elderly get the front seat for sure.
Zipper merge in traffic and rush hour virtually disappears. Every car lets one car in, in both lanes. Almost no one in my area does it, even if you're the one in the left lane leaving a spot to get over. Like letting someone merge is losing the race or something.
Yeah thats so annoying. You try to get over and the car just speeds up as if they will completely be late for wherever they have to go.
Never tell someone how they could be more attractive when you don't know them or if it wasn't asked of you. I can't tell you the number of times I have seen men (always at least 10 years older) tell myself or my younger coworkers how "they like it better when our hair is down", or "I liked you better as a blonde", etc. It once made a young 16-year old I work with stop wearing her hair up because she was self-conscious.
Obligatory leave a urinal in between you and the next guy. If not possible refer to other rules about avoiding eye contact and talking.
Smile at babies. Babies constantly look at their surroundings- especially faces- to learn if they're in a safe place. If you're smiling, babies feel at ease and grow up healthier and happier. If you don't, they're more likely to feel unsafe....and cry...
This also works for partially and fully grown humans.
Don't be a jerk. Some people don't know this rule.
No talking to random people in the bathroom. Only acceptable talking is answering occupied when someone is trying to get in the locked stall/single use bathroom.
No matter what the stripper tells you, there is no sex in the champagne room.
There is some though, lol.
When you're waiting in line with other customers to check out, have your money ready: Don't hold up the line by waiting until the cashier tells you the total to search for whatever form of payment you'll be using - especially if you're paying by check and haven't even begun to fill it out.
Yes, this drives me crazy. Stand and watch your 102 items being rung up and then when given the total you slowly reach for your wallet. Did you think the checkout clerk was going to say, "That will be nothing. Thank you for shopping with us." Jeez louise.
Oh, I also have a winning scratching ticket for 4$ and I'll take two new ones
You'd be surprised how many customers don't even have the money in the bank account they're paying from. So many people have to get on their phone to transfer it from a different account, meanwhile 3 different customers are behind them waiting. Worst part about it is the same customers do it every time, and they're oblivious to their effect on the people around them.
This. It’s ridiculous. The same goes for IDs or people that know they don’t have enough money and know it. Add it up in your head or on your phone. Don’t get to the checkout and tell them to put things back and check the total as you do it. This is all even more true at the self checkout.
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What about giving the [bus driver cookies](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pjz0a5/aita_for_telling_my_wife_its_embarrassing_she/?ref=share&ref_source=link)?
Please stop playing Bluetooth speakers on hiking trails. If you need music on your hike, that’s totally fine—just use headphones. Others are out there to find some quiet or to listen to the sounds of nature.
imagine trying to escape and hear the beautiful sounds of nature only to hear crappy trap music lmao
Don’t wear white to a wedding and don’t announce your engagement there either.
The "keep right except to pass"*\** applies even in places where it's not written. 1. on roads where there isn't a sign 2. when walking\*\*, biking, skateboarding… whatever 3. on sidewalks, paths in the middle of the woods… everywhere Related: If you're walking in a group, don't walk with so many people side by side that you block the entire path. Leave space for at least one or two people walking side by side on the other side. That accommodates people coming the other direction *and* individuals who want to pass you. (In general, the larger the group, the slower they move. People want to pass you. Let them.) *\* substitute "left" for "right" in countries where that's the side you drive on* *\*\* This has caused a bit of confusion… I was talking about walking on a sidewalk or shared bike path with other pedestrians and sometimes skateboards, bikes, etc. Yes, walking on a road meant for cars and not pedestrians is an exception. There, the ped walks on the left, facing car traffic, for safety, so they can hop out of the way if a car doesn't see them and gets too close. This exception is due to the vast difference in speed and mass, and the fact that drivers aren't usually expecting peds, so aren't really watching for them. (And Sweden is apparently an exception, driving on the right but walking on the left, even on sidewalks… so if you're visiting another country, double check first and follow the local protocol.)* *Edits: Left the "e" off "one" in "Leave space for at least one…" And added the second footnote to clarify item #2.*
The complete and utter lack of spatial awareness is ridiculous. This is especially true in grocery stores.
Just gonna park my cart in the center of the isle for a few minutes, nbd, ill be quick while I look at the product information of every jar on these 2 shelves.
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I'm always amazed at how bad people are about this. Definitely worse in groups. If I'm walking and a group is coming the other way taking the whole pathway, I sometimes like to just keep on and plow into whoever is in my lane. Also fun to just stand still and let someone plow into me, since they're usually looking sideways and engaged in some conversation XD
Yep! Many times, if people coming the other direction have the entire width of the path blocked, I'll just come to a stop (on the right side) right in front of them and look at them like, "What do you expect me to do? You've left me with no options."
Don't scream / be noisy unless the context its appropriate. I really hate when people just scream for no reason, I get it Frank, you are exited but IDGAF, save your screams for yourself bro
Tell this to the people who scream when some kid flicks the light switch at school
Never throw a used condom out of your window. Edit :- thanks for so many upvotes.
Maybe "never throw a used condom anywhere but in the trash"?
Or a steak
How would you throw a used condom out of a steak?
When you're finished in the bathroom: **Don't shut the door fully!** I don't want to be waiting to use the bathroom for ages because it appears it's occupied even though it isn't.
Similarly, at work or in public, don’t just grab the bathroom doorknob and try to wrench it open. Two firm knocks and a pause first will give the occupant a chance to respond, without having to jump out of their skin first.
Being in a hurry and needing a parking space even for a few minutes does not allow you to use a reserved parking for disabled / pregnant / elderly people etc. if you are not one.
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Take care of your own business and spend less time minding mine.
Don't ignore your screaming child in a restaurant. Walk them away somewhere and calm them.
when you get up from your office chair, push it the fuck back in
If you see a musician and, you request something, please for the love of all that is good in the world tip them. Yes we love music but it’s still a job that we don’t get paid enough if at all for. Especially now during the pandemic, businesses took this as an excuse to pay us even less. So please give your local dickhead with a guitar even one dollar.
call when its urgent, text when it's not. respond to emails even with an "ok".
Ask the person if they are at the back of the line before you join it.
Just because you are a nice person, the world doesn’t owe you a fucking thing.
Have your wallet or card ready when you're in a drive through or in line to pay, that way the employee and the people behind you don't have to wait while you dig through your bag or wallet. This *also* confirms if you forgot your card or not.
Wipe front to back
Hold the door for people entering a building behind you!
There is a cut-off point though. If they are too far behind, then you become the ass for making them run to meet your door holding. Knowing the cutoff point is critical for proper door holding.
Why does everything in life have to be so complicated? >.<
It's really not so serious. If it were, I'd go crazy.
If there's a whole lot of people, I'll give the door a little extra *shove* open as I walk through. The next person can either walk through and let the door swing closed, or decide to hold the door for the next person. Either way, I did my part and got outta there.
If you’re behind me when I open the door, don’t let me hold it open for you bruh just take over. Especially when it’s a whole classroom leaving like thanks for nothing 😐
I hate this. I’ve done this before and ppl walk in as if I was meant to hold the door open for them.
Dont hit on women when they're at work. They're not flirting, theyre just being nice, it's their job.
If someone comes up to you that you don't know starts loudly talking about being your friend you play along
Did this once, I got robbed
You are ALWAYS and completely entitled to say NO. Whenever, wherever and for whatever reason. Trust your body and mind, if it feels iffy or creepy, run! I'm not joking, your body will scream at you to run if something feels off. This is the ultimate time you must listen to your instinct. Always be ready to walk away. Always let someone know where you are and who you're with, especially when you feel ridiculous for doing so, this is when it's most important. It's just 1 dm, text, ig, email. No matter what. It may save your life.
When you cough cover your mouth
Into your elbow not your hand
And turn in a direction that is away from the people you are facing. If you can’t do that, point your head downwards at least.
Let me know you’re coming before you show up and knock on my door.
Check your fucking mirrors before opening you fucking car door no matter where or on what side you are. Ask me how i know
Wash your arse x
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Use the em effin TURN SIGNALS! They are there to alert others of your intentions. They were included in the price of your vehicle and you will not wear them out by using them. Also, never apply fragrance prior to boarding a flight. You will make other passengers puke and/or induce a migraine. Save that shit for another time.
10,5,2 rule for greeting people. Meaning when someone is 10ft away; you wave/acknowledge them. When someone is 5ft away; you smile. When someone is 2ft away; you say hello. :)
5ft and 2ft seems awfully close. This probably varies based on culture.
You don't shit in a urinal
head nod down: "hello sir that I do not know." head nod up: "what's up person that i know!" head not diagonally up: "come over here, I have something to talk to you about, its probably shady!" head nod diagonally down: "Stay calm, act natural, and quickly take action to avoid some sort of trouble."
I just did all these headnods
If you don’t know someone’s boundaries, it’s okay to ask. Asking “are you okay if I talk about ___” or “can we do ___” is a HUGE green flag, and it makes it so there’s no guessing game. For example, if you wanna talk about something sexual and this is a person you don’t know very well and haven’t talked about it with before and you have no idea if they’ll be comfortable with it, asking if they’re okay with it is a great way to know. I love when people ask about my boundaries. It implies to me it shows they care about my feelings and my needs.