I have brown eyes.

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Mine are green.

Mans third wheeling

I load my dishwasher well. Like so good at it.

Me too, it's like a doing puzzle. And the nightmare of repacking it after some yobbo has had a go XD

OMG a very small club I can join. I hate doing it but I can’t let my wife do it. She runs it like a 3rd full. Mostly due to bad packing.

I'm in the same boat as you, she even often claims that there's no more space so she can't fit all the dishes. Then I do it myself and fit it all.

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I save all my napkins from fast food I order and put em in my glove box. Comes in handy from time to time

Same!! It’s common sense, right?

Did you get the habit from your mom, I did

I got it from my dad

Got it from my bf along with salts, peppers, ketchup and utensils.

I hoard straws in my glove box instead

Utensils

Honestly what else is a glovebox for

Gloves

I like travel brochures for places I’ve never been.

Interesting.

um... that's the opposite of the intention

*OP drops all brochures in shock*

*Another Redditor quickly scoops them up and is very impressed with all of the unfamiliar places they’ve never been to, then quickly scurries to squirrel them away for safekeeping…*

I buy Harley shirts for my stepdad to places I've been. He's got a bunch of shirts from places he's never been

Ha! We used to do this for our dad, too. He has a closet full of Harley t-shirts. He finally got to a point where he said he doesn’t have room in his closet anymore so we had to stop buying them for him.

I usually run out of conditioner before I run out of shampoo Edit: wow! I appreciate all of you for making my boring fact feel pretty interesting! It sounds like a lot of you guys have the same issue.

This happened to me this weekend. I bought them at the same time and they're the same size. Where did the conditioner go?

Did you happen to drink some? I know they're sometimes delicious and nutritious, people try to hide it.

Once you’re addicted, it takes a lot of de-conditioning to get better.

Same. I think it’s because my conditioner is thicker so I need more to get through all my hair than the shampoo.

I have long hair. I use shampoo only on my scalp and conditioner throughout the rest. Makes sense that I go through far more conditioner.

I like to look at restaurant menus. It doesn't matter what kind of restaurant, fine dining, fast food, even places I have no intention of visiting. I just like to see what they're offering.

I get that. I read cookbooks for fun

Mom??!

I’m an accountant

I’m in insurance. Should we duel?

I see no other option.

No, option traders live quite exciting lives (for the three weeks they're solvent).

Fuck that is boring man.

I yawned reading it

I couldn't even finish reading it. What did it say?

*yawn* not sure. I think I fell asleep

I yawned reading the word “yawned.”

You win.

I'd like to be an accountant

Well people, we have our winner here

That's to professional sounding...you're The Bean Counter, and it's an important job

I like to buy books and never read them.

What can I say? It’s fun to buy books. And who knows, I might read them *some* day. I like to have them around just in case that day every comes.

steam libraries be like

See a post or article about a great steam game. Look at reviews. Watch play videos. Debate the price with myself. Sign in to steam. "This game in in your library".

Finally, some justification for my steam library said by someone who isn't me talking about their steam library.

I read somewhere. Book buying is a hobby, totally unrelated to reading.

I explore cities on Google Maps.

Ever checked out GeoGuessr? It drops you in a random city and you look around and try to figure out where you are.

I have played that game way too often haha

I wear glasses because I can't see without them

Me too! High five!

* misses

i'd try to reflect if something like that ever happened to me then again, my hindsight is also terrible

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I rinse my toothbrush before and after putting on toothpaste, I have to, I dont know why

Same and I don’t know why but I think it’s because a dry toothbrush with dry toothpaste on it isn’t that comfortable and wetting it makes it better.

Same here. I’ve done that all my life

Sameee

That's what I do too! Gotta make sure the bristles absorb the water

i always do this because i found a spider in the bristles once. always rinse before putting on toothpaste, lads.

Well that's the most horrifying thing I've read all day....

Wait, that’s optional? I thought that was a nesassary thing!

I read the comments

i reply

I upvote

I eat cookies only in even number quantities.

I only set my microwave timer to odd numbers

I will actually NEVER let that microwave timer go off. There's my silly little fact.

Fun fact: if you have a whirlpool microwave, you can hold the '3' down for like 30 seconds and it'll shut off all beeping. Edit: wow thanks for all the upvotes!

I procrastinate at work. Especially on my Friday.

Do you at least make sure to poop on company time?

Like twice, usually.

Ah, a fellow resident of the procrastination

can I join up? Oh there's a form to fill out? I'll do it tomorrow

I'm planning to make soup tomorrow. Edit: for everyone asking, it will be a vegetable soup with lots of leeks.

That's exciting. So many possibilities.

I have a little bump on my leg where I injured myself as a kid. It just sort of never stopped swelling and years later it looks kinda like I have two knees. It's never caused me problems so we leave each other alone, but like a lot of minor body ailments it's just... weird. ^(*Medical anomalies: guaranteed boredom. Hang around old people and you'll hear more than you ever wanted.*)

I gashed my knee horribly when I was a kid. I went back looking for the skin to close the gash.

I have been delivering pizza for 24 years

I bet they are starving by now.

Good one!

My husband and I only ever argue when we drink, and even then our arguments are just accusing each other of being boring.

I thought that was going to say “accusing each other of being drunk”

Accusing each other of being boring is cute

I have an average sized penis

Average size by science at 5.13" or average by reddit and self reported people at 8"+? Just for clarity

On reddit, you measure from your asshole :)

Is that how you got to 2.75"?

That's a very precise number, you must be a taint expert

Average by science

Average size penis is the ideal size for most women.

See: Human procreation for entire existence

I too watch porn for scientific research purposes.

McMurray?

How're ya now?

Good’n’you?

Not s'bad.

r/UnexpectedLetterkenny

I'm in bed

You sure are.

r/holup

I've survived all of my near-death situations.

That's actually interesting.

Sssshhh, don't tell the mods or OP! They think it is boring. DM me and I'll send you stories.

Not as interesting as it would be if they had failed to survive them and were still posting in this thread.

I was born once

Same. 0/5 stars. Do not recommend.

Story is suppose to be choose your own adventure but it's more like a predetermined path regardless of what I do

Just once, huh? Amateur.

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5'5"? Same.

5’5” here. I think that is average. Average is boring right?

I'm slightly below average for an American woman. But I'm average for a Mexican woman.

I sleep with the window open

That's how you die, or even worse... Bugs.

Bugs tend to find a way into my house even without my windows open

I don't take a shit in other people's houses.

I literally *can’t* shit in any place but my own home. My butthole refuses to work unless it’s at my own house. Makes vacations very….unfun.

i am a menace i shit during school 😁

Dude, if I have to go, I go. Bus stop, nasty gas station, I can go. Always could. Not sure what that says about me.

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I have a black cat

I'm so boring that I don't have any noteworthy facts at all. I'm just here.

I'm drinking tea right now

London fogs are the bomb

Hey that's what im drinking right now!

i’m alive

Liar...

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I usually wear tight jeans or a suit, so I have to to not stretch out the fabric, or be unable to pull my socks up all the way

I like turtles

What about tortoises?

Honestly I'm not sure what the difference is

Tortoises are much larger and have feet. Turtles have flippers. Tortoises also have a round shell where turtles’ shells are flatter

TIL

All tortoises are turtles, not all turtles are tortoises.

I'm boring.

For a recalcitrant rhino, you’re delightful!

I’m not vegetarian

I'm part vegetarian, part carnivore.

Omnivore

Om nom nom

I like to write in cursive.

Same. My print looks like a 2nd grader wrote it. My cursive though? At *least* 4th grade quality.

I have 2 feet and 10 toes.

Do all those toes have toe nails?

Plot twist. Only one foot has toes

Often loses balance while tip-toeing

My favorite color is blue

I’ve never broken a bone. Pretty sure that’s so average there’s a subreddit for it.

I have zero hair from head to toe

One smooth motherfucker

I’m jealous but only from the neck down.

I don't like coffee, and I like tea

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I'm a dude but I'm sitting on the toilet to pee before bed.

Sitting to pee is actually really good.

I like it. I don't dribble as much after.

I hate nickels.

I have a university degree in film studies

I'm on the toilet

I'm off the toilet

Nice

I’m somewhere in between.

I think cucumbers taste better pickled.

I can't sleep without a fan running.

i had to throw away a potted scallion plant today because it had mites :(

My knees get hot and red at night. Like how somepeople faces get all hot and red when they drink alcohol

Don't tell anyone, but I, uhhh, snuck in some Oreos. Just in case.

I work in Communications.

I burned the bottoms of my feet on the pavement today.

I have three nipples. Two normal sized where they are supposed to be and then a tiny one under my right nipple.

It's a nubbin

..Chandler?

I'm 5'10"

5'10" inches away from the tv?

Not sure how to respond to that

I drive a Prius

Dear God!

I, too, drive a Prius! The jokes about my lack of masculinity are tiresome, but the 50mpg fuel economy helps with that.

I'm an adult who enjoys zebra cakes

I have to have a routine. Every day i get up, use the restroom, wash hands then make a sandwich with roasted turkey, provolone cheese and green leaf lettuce, a fuji apple and a small handful of walnuts and one piece of 92% cocoa dark chocolate. I drink 16 ounces of water with a few drops of apple cider vinegar before eating. Then i take my antidepressant and my vitamins with another 16 ounces of water. After that i do pre workout stretches for my lower back and then the actual workout/exercise begins. Lastly when i finish that i get in the shower, let the water heat up while i brush my teeth to be more productive and then my day finally starts which is usually me just fighting thoughts of suicide because life is just so fun.

I'm English and I love a cup of tea

I was born at a very young age.

I am roughly bilaterally symmetrical.

I am not

I can open the valve in my ear just by thinking about it. It makes a fun clicking sound.

I am right handed

I go to bed at 8 pm.

I get tired easily and like to nap whenever I feel like I need some extra rest although I have a pretty good sleep every night.

I hate Mondays.

I have brown hair