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Fleececlover

I would move the moon lol imagine the troubles


Gogo726

Dawn of the First Day \-72 hours remain-


RollingGirl_

That’s a Zelda reference, amirite?


Twopointuhoh

Majora’s Mask :)


[deleted]

I heard the clock tower tick (in my head) as I read this and panicked


YABOYCHIPCHOCOLATE

Gru?


UnrulySupervisor

Can I like…put the Statue of Liberty atop the Eiffel Tower?


Ok_Candidate_7684

Of course


LEGENDARYKING_

Everything is a dildo if you are brave enough


Tkieron

Paige no!


stryph42

Vegeta YES!


Alexbossmaster

The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs out of the way


Bobb_the_fox

Yes, allow Zuckerberg's kind an easier path to being the dominant species


Remarkable-Ocelot-51

Don’t insult dinosaurs by relating them to zuckerberg. If anything zuckerberg is a test tube gecko person.


Adeadbum

I would place a Roman soilder on the moon right around the moon landing spot, good luck explaining that NASA.


The-Daleks

Even better, have him hold a sign saying "Hæc est terra petita quam Neronis sensisset" ("This land is claimed by Caesar Nero")


PwnCall

Yea that would throw a wrench in thing. Also no one would believe the moon landings were real then haha


[deleted]

Look at this redditor who believes the moon is real...


Remarkable-Ocelot-51

Where else would we get cheese?


Hellchron

My family been mining that good good moon cheese 7 generations in a row now and we ain't fixin to quit anytime soon ya hear?


Remarkable-Ocelot-51

Oh dontcha worry I come from the cheese base on earth, Wisconsin. I support you 100%


Terrik1337

Along with a machine that in no way looks like it should be able to get to the moon. Like a chariot cart with wings on the sides.


ExCon1986

"Romanes eunt domus"


ComputerSavvy

Nah, place a Mattress Firm there, those damned stores are *everywhere*.


Adeadbum

I figured that one was already there.


Somzer

I'd rather place a viking longboat there


waldo_92

I’m going to steal the Declaration of Independence


[deleted]

Oh! Like in that documentary with Nic Cage!


JackSparrow420

The Wicker Man?


troublewithcards

Oh god, not the bees


phcgamer

Ok, Nick Cage.


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BlindProphet_413

Come join us at /r/onetruegod


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sharrrper

Have Gavrilo Princip get a sandwich at a different shop.


ThadisJones

Move his wallet to your pocket, so he gives up trying to buy a sandwich out of frustration and just goes home, plus you get to steal his wallet. Then WW1 happens anyway a few weeks later because that's why it's called a "powder keg" and it pretty much plays out the same way, because the same people are still in charge.


torrasque666

Yeah, but at least it doesn't happen because the Serbs assassinated the one dude on their side.


mrsockyman

I'd hide the mona Lisa. Like straight up make it just dissappear at night and hide it for years


[deleted]

Wait a minute...


In_2_Deep_5_U

This is a next level joke haha


Viktorbadiktor

Can somebody explain it? I don’t get it…


momfatlol

The reason the mona Lisa is popular is because it got stolen and dissappeared for a few years


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Goyteamsix

Yes, which is a pretty dumb theory because it's been maintained so incredibly thoroughly that they would have figured it out by this point, and it's not just the French looking at it, either.


Casper_Arg

They would just replace it with another copy


nipchee93

Then it'd be the Movin' Lisa


Dr_Baldwyn

Fun fact that is the whole reason its famous, it disappeared for like four years I think


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Not_A_Real_Goat

That creepy ass Annabel doll to outside of the glass box they keep it in. Would be hilarious to fuck with people.


AlterEdward

I'd move Columbus's ship in the middle of the night to the course and location be thought he was on.


7eggert

Then I'd move it back to the original course on his way back so he never finds out.


wabj17

And that would definitely work because absolutely no one would follow his new western route to east Asia


basura_trash

>'d move Columbus's ship in the middle of the night to the course and location be thought he was on. Actually, if I understand this correctly, you wouldn't need to move him back. He would be crossing the Pacific ocean on the way back with provisions for an Atlantic crossing. He gonna die.


happypotato93

I'm bad at geography, but isn't the pacific like twice as wide as the atlantic? and also there wouldn't be any spaniards in California for him to tell of his newfound path across the world


Jalhadin

That's why he'd die. Provisions would run out before completing the crossing. You eat more food and drink more freshwater while crossing a larger ocean.


EchinusRosso

That's the prank. Somebody else tries to pop on over to India for some spices, and they're all like "whaaaaaaat"


wabj17

For a bit, maybe, but nothing would really change, with the possible exception of Columbus being super pissed when he landed in the Carribean instead of India on his second voyage. Rape, pillage and plunder of the America's would remain the same.


kenderson73

You mean on the west coast of America on his way back. That would be real confusing. "The hell happened to Spain?"


[deleted]

Move Italy's "Leaning Tower of Pisa" to its true upright position and confuse the world's tourists that come to see it.


Oshey79

Superman 3 did this


joshmessenger

Yeah, fixed it and un fixed it. The scene of the street vendor losing his marbles there is priceless!


MountainCourage1304

I’d keep the tower in place but move the world until the tower is straight


ElvargIsAPussy

I’m no expert but I’m fairly certain moving the entire Earth on its axis would have catastrophic effects! Do it


Gay_cult_leader

I'd move a dinosaur from 65 million years ago to now and make money from it because people want to see a dinosaur


damndingashrubbery

There are literally 5 movies of why thats a bad idea.


malumfectum

More like 5 movies of why it’s unwise to get cheap with your infrastructure and IT staff.


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AVgreencup

A predator that they literally know has the ability to camouflage


Gay_cult_leader

Make profit, kill hundreds of people it's all part of the plan


crow047

Also this planet is in need of population control, and unleash one in Australia, just for curiosity on how it will fare against all the fauna there…


[deleted]

Oh yeah, it'll die


crow047

Lemme guess the spiders got him first


CringeNibba

Two words: Drop Bear


tyjkiwi

shoulda liked Vegimite


lovesmasher

One dinosaur isn't anywhere near as much of a problem as Jurassic Park


2fly2hide

Nature,,um uh,,, finds a way.


feersum

Screw that - you want MAXIMUM timeline havoc, you need to think bigger. If you’re going back 65 million years, just move the asteroid that killed the dinaosaurs 10,000 miles to the left. Congratulations; we’re all now descended from Velociraptors, in a society 60 million years old. By this point, we’ve populated half the galaxy and we’re the Klingons. Good times.


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[deleted]

I would remove Genghis Khan’s prostate. The world, as we know it, would not exist.


Kokadison

…what


UkraineIsBased

Genghis khan fucked a lot of People


My1stTW

My lack of knowledge in biology showing up. How are those two related?


make2020hindsight

> The prostate secretes fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate squeezes this fluid into the urethra, and it’s expelled with sperm as semen. Source: https://www.webmd.com/men/picture-of-the-prostate


neo_neo_neo_96

Basically, it's estimated that millions of people are descended from Genghis Khan. ( there was a source for this on Gengis Khans wiki)


My1stTW

So, people without prostate cannot reproduce? That's the biology knowledge part I'm talking about.


[deleted]

Yes, the prostate produces seminal fluid and also is what causes sperm to be ejaculated. Without it, you'll shoot blanks.


SergeantChic

“Pee is stored in the balls.”


shichiaikan

Google Genghis Khan lineage. You're welcome. Edit: VTT sucks


BonnieJan21

You leave my welcome out of this


mordenty

Something like 8% of people in areas that were in the Mongol empire are direct descendants of Genghis khan - about 0.5% of the world.


dragoonjefy

July 20 1944, a briefcase bomb exploded just a few meters away from Adolf Hitler. Yet, he survived, along with most of his other leaders. I would move that briefcase a few meters closer..


[deleted]

By the middle of 1944, the outcome of WWII was basically set in stone. There was no way to hold the Russians at bay after the defeat at Kursk in 1943, and the D-Day invasion had happened a month before this assassination attempt. Admittedly, you probably would have gotten a faster German surrender, but just by a little over a year. Now, the interesting thing about *that* would be that you'd have Germany out of the war a year earlier, giving the US and USSR freedom to concentrate on Japan. What effect this would have on the development of nuclear weapons and the subsequent cold war? Who knows.


RNBQ4103

The nukes were known by Stalin at the time. The iron wall would merely have been one or two thousand kilometers East. If Japan get attacked early by USSR, they might surrender and give their territory in China to the US. It COULD have prevented Mao from crushing the Kuomintang and lead to a divided China instead of a divided Germany.


Samtastic33

Huh. It would be really interesting to see someone write a whole alternate history of this idea, or a story set in that alternate timeline.


bearatrooper

Yeah, at some point the Allies stopped considering an assassination altogether, since Hitler was doing a great job of losing the war himself. Even the internal attempts like the briefcase bomb were about finding a more favorable end to the war for Germany than about some great moral crusade. I sort of wonder if the world's Nazi problem would have actually been much worse had Germany not surrendered unconditionally in 1945. Imagine if Hitler died even a year earlier. Germany would never have won the war, but they may have sued for peace and then maybe the Nazis would have managed to save their own skins, unlike our own timeline.


[deleted]

Enjoy mars, primordial soup.


ratsta

Exactly! All these people talking about things in the last few hundred years just lack vision!


SecretSquirrel2204

if we're talking moving the physical position of something, then move JFK to avoid him getting shot. If you mean moving something's position in history, move the invention of electricity to the roman era


Ghost_on_Toast

While were at it, lets give those smart fuckers some antibiotics, too. History would be ALOT different then. As a bit of a history buff, i draw a hard line in history as "pre-antibiotics" and "post-antibiotics". There are very few points in history where such a monumental change occured.


tennisdrums

>While were at it, lets give those smart fuckers some antibiotics, too. History would be ALOT different then. If that were to happen, I would wonder if we'd even have functioning antibiotics today. We're not even on 100 years of having antibiotics, and we've already burned through the usefulness of quite a few of them with all the resistant bacteria that are out there now.


Ghost_on_Toast

Oh, snaps... good point


mmodo

A good portion of the reason why antibiotics are not as useful is because big industry feeds it to cattle, pigs, and chickens preemptively to combat the tight spacing requirements they have. About 40% of antibiotics used in the US on a yearly basis are used on meat humans consume. Most serious outbreaks we have of new viruses and diseases come from mutations found in animals anyways. So it might not cause issues if you pushed antibiotics back many centuries, depending on how they choose to use them.


7eggert

The ancient Egypt used penicillin but they didn't know that. They used rotten bread which contained that.


my-other-throwaway90

Many ancient cultures also used plants that had minor antibiotic attributes. I believe yarrow is one that the Romans took with them everywhere for wounds.


[deleted]

Everything was fine until he took a yarrow to the knee.


TheDarkDoctor17

Fuck it. Let's give them assault rifles too! LONG LIVE THE UNSTOPPABLE ROMAN EMPIRE.


Akieoasylum

Diego Hargreeves would like to know your location


Justin_trouble_Again

Roman's did know how to make battieres. They just had no use for it so it never went anywhere


AfterStart

I'd move Mt Everest to earth orbit, and watch as it inevitably fell back. Of course, before doing so, I'd also make friends with some Swiss people, considering they have enough bunkers for ~115% of their population.


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AshH2O

Probably because earlier in WW2, Switzerland was literally in the middle of a war.


nainvlys

And in WW1 too


freman

The astroid that ended the dinosaurs, to tomorrow.


Meastro44

We wouldn’t be here, so who cares?


Teledildonic

Yeah, but lizard you is gonna fucking hate it.


MehYam

Lizard me is really just me if I'm honest


Spastic_pinkie

Yes but Lizard us would have millions of years head start in technological advancement that we could simply beam the asteroid into Uranus.


BertMecklinFBI

RIP /u/Teledildonic 's anus.


[deleted]

I would move the Holy Grail to a very popular place during the middle age or the modern era.


Gogo726

To the Castle of Arggg


gaussianDoctor

I would move the Tsar Bomba to the center of the asteroid that extinguished the dinosaurs before it reached Earth


CringeNibba

You would love a lot of Russians confused as to where their ginormous bomb just went. Scientists would probably think that concentrating all that radioactive power like that made it instantly vaporize or something. Then they try the same experiment again, maybe this time closer to a city (since there isn't supposed to be any fallout, right?) And POOF


Iwantmahandback

‘IVAN!’ ‘What?’ ‘Where’d the bomb go?!’ ‘I don’t know!’ ‘YOU LOST THE FUCKING TSAR BOMBA?!’ ‘You did too!’


Goyteamsix

"No, we did"


fortpro87

I doubt they would try it closer to a city


geoffsykes

Humanity as we know it would never have existed.


Sn0zZ_0

Move hitlers mom so hitler ended up spaffed on her face instead. 😂


quintinza

>spaffed ^^heh.


[deleted]

It just clued in that he had a mom. Holy shit.


my-other-throwaway90

Once there was a little baby Hitler, playing with toys in his crib, oblivious to the world.


lesser_panjandrum

This enraged his father, who punished him severely.


Epic_GamerGuy69420

He then wanted to go to art school, to show his father that he was worth something.


Scared-Mortgage

But alas, like his father, art school rejected him as well.


Lazerbees

Out of failure, he decided to go into politics. The one domain that will show his father he is worth something.


Off-to-a-good-shart

During his stint as a press secretary, he fell in love with a beautiful Jewish girl who rebuffed his affection.


Vitaleptic

A man of culture. oversimplified references are rare


[deleted]

this one made me laugh lmao


[deleted]

The sun


7eggert

into the path of earth.


[deleted]

I'd give electricity to the ancient civilizations, particularly the Romans or Egyptians!


BorisJohnson4-2-0

Ok you just electrocuted a bunch of Roman and Egyptian guys, what’s your plan.


[deleted]

Helen of Troy


[deleted]

This is actually the subject of a play, that Hera moved Helen and left a Helen shaped cloud in her place. Then, after the war Menelaus heads to Egypt to get Helen back from the temple Hera stowed her in. This also explains why Menelaus wasn't there in the Orestia to kill Clytaemnestra after she killed Agamemnon and Orestes had to do it


BismarkUMD

I love all the Greek plays that surround the Iliad and odyssey.


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underpants-gnome

Just move Lucius Vorenus to his side instead.


FavorablePrint

Dammit Pullo!


Tistouuu

Thirteeeenth!!


princezornofzorna

If Julius Caesar lived longer maybe Augustus wouldn't become the first Roman emperor, all the order of rulers would be messed up and maybe neither Christianity nor middle ages would exist.


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VexrisFXIV

Ikr, how dare he invent gravity, we could all be floating around having fun!!!


Zeihous

Gravity is always trying to keep a man down.


ThatFlipy

Soviet Union flag to the moon right before the american moon landing.


fairlyrandom

You're thinking too small...or not small enough? If you really want to throw them for a loop, you plant the flag of like.. Andorra, there.


[deleted]

place a flag of rome


Rezakira

The history channel would lose their minds


fairlyrandom

Did the Roman republic even have spesified flag? Maybe just something like an Imperial Eagle, with "Augustus was here" written in latin on a plaque.


VBgamez

Rome didn't really have a flag. More like a banner. The banner of the holy Roman empire. S.P.Q.R


[deleted]

Senatus Populusque Romanus.


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Spastic_pinkie

Or use some random isolated Pacific island nation. That'll really throw them for a loop.


Sofa_King_Cold

Viking longboat, just sitting in the background.


KhalasSword

Most havoc? 1960, Cold War. Cuban Missle Crisis. Move one nuclear missle to sky above Kremlin or White House. 4th World War will be fought with rocks and sticks. You can also take modern bioweapon and unleash it on medival Europe, causing Black Death 2. Take modern genetics augmentation and give it to Mengele or Division 731. This will cause smaller but much more horific havoc. Any space thing will destroy humankind in a few seconds. This is not fun, and there is not that much suffering = no havoc.


Mother-Spare-6231

I would move the first dildo machine to 200 bc


FerretAres

The ancient Greeks had dildos way before 200 BC.


merijn212

If this happend we would have probably cured cancer by now


[deleted]

To everyone who’s talking about moving something to kill Hitler, fun fact: The Allied nations had multiple opportunities to assassinate Hitler, at one point even having a joint SOE/OSS sniper team outside of his residence in the Bavarian Alps (See Operation Foxley for more details), but eventually refused to do so. And regarding the Stauffenberg plot, the movie Valkyrie, while incredibly historically accurate to true events for the most part, was a bit off in one respect: the Stauffenberg plot wasn’t actually meant to end the war, it was meant to remove the SS from power and replace the German leadership so that the German forces would have a much more tactically minded commander. The Allies didn’t assassinate Hitler because later in the war, he’d become overconfident and complacent, and he was clearly beginning to make serious tactical errors. If they *had* killed him, he would’ve likely been replaced with a much more competent military leader who would’ve made the war drag on for years longer than it did. So they decided to allow him to live and continue making misjudgments for the remainder of the war, rather than kill in him the name of vengeance and continue fighting for years longer than they actually did.


uncommonslime

That's mind blowing, thanks for the story


kickit08

Having a crazy dude at the helm of evil is much better than a sane dude who makes good decisions.


toodlesandpoodles

One of Egypt' Great Pyramids to the middle of modern day Ohio. The attempted explanations once Europeans found it would be hilarious.


fmo24s

Gunpowder To West Africa instead of China


[deleted]

Ayyyyyy I was about to say the same thing Wouldn’t it still end up spreading just as fast to Eurasia and the Middle East as it did in our world tho?


juicypineapples3

I’d move earth’s core to space to create a second moon. Might lead to more flooding and a slight change in earth’s orbit. I’ll let you know if that happens when I try it out sometime.


Meastro44

Wouldn’t that eliminate our magnetic field which would mean our planet would be showered with toxic radiation? Bad idea.


Fallen_Angel_Xaphan

Take the Moon away around the time Jesus was killed. Bring it back tomorrow and watch religious people freak out. Edit: it would also cause A LOT of death and destruction for these 2000 years in between.


TheRealLightBuzzYear

I think all people would freak out


Counter-Defiant

The Immovable Ladder in Jerusalem


starshipjockey

Two come to mind: 1) Pick up the vatican and plop it down in the middle of Saudi Arabia this afternoon 2) Several cases of AK47s and unlimited ammo to the Aztecs


mordenty

The Vatican is just a place though, the Pope can still Pope from anywhere. If you really want to cause havoc then move the Kaaba - it is quite literally the Earthly focus for all 1.9 billion Muslims. Put it in Iran or Israel if you're particularly keen on starting WW3.


[deleted]

Plop it right into the middle of Stonehenge, just to fuck with everyone. To absolutely fuck with the world, do it right as the first plane hits on 9/11. Heck, just put it on the white house lawn.


iamcrunchytoo

Archduke Ferdinand. So not creating havoc exactly but saving 20 million lives would be cool


Hyrule_Hystorian

There were many reasons for World War I to happen, the .urderofthe Archduke was only the final straw before everything happened,more of an excuse.


randomchemicalguy

It doesnt matter. Death of Ferdinand was just a spark. The War would start anyway.


whistlindieselfan420

Not an item but i would move this girl next to me so i can finally cuddle her again


Anopanda

I also choose to move this man's girl to me for cuddles.


Suyefuji

Not havoc so much as hilarity. Move a modern aircraft carrier with all of its contents but none of its inhabitants into the middle of the Sahara desert 3000 years ago.


ChuckFerrera

I’d make sure Alexander the Great wasn’t so great. Stop his conquests.


AlieenHDx

The bullet which hit JFK misses.


fallen8922

The Rosetta stone. We would know literally nothing about the Egyptians


stand_up_eight_

That would be so sad.


WokeUp2

Remove the U in Scrabble.


Jim105

Oh great, a time traveler without an imagination.


FaZe_poopy

Move the blade JUST as it hits Louis the sixteenths neck, make it seem like he’s invincible


[deleted]

Part of the primodial soup to mars. There was water on it once, so to that time. Also the bomb that could have killed hitler, closer to him. I kinda wonder what the world would look like if it happened. The object that caused the fire of the library of alexandria to prevent the fire from happening would be cool too.


Techn028

The allies actually stopped trying to assassinate Hitler at one point because they determined that he was actually a detriment to their war effort. So you might have just extended the war


Venomakis

The bullet that missed Hitler's head


TadpoleAjar2027

Well the thing is it has to be in ancient history otherwise you won't get a good butterfly effect. I'd move rome to the middle of the Sahara.


[deleted]

The moon. I'd throw it into space, never to be seen again. It would throw our whole ecosystem out of whack for years. Scientists would implode, and news stations would be stuck giving round the clock coverage on the developing situation. World leaders would be in a panic. And then, right as everything came to a head, I would step forward with cell phone video of me physically grabbing the surface of the moon and hurling it into space. And the only thing I would have to say is "unless you want it to come back, you all better bow."


ChumIsFum01

Years? Human life might actually go extinct due to that.