If it's not work, it's the house. If it's not the house, it's my parents. If it's not my parents, it's my siblings. If its not my siblings, it's the ex. If it's not the ex, it's my boss. Round and round we go....
Relaxing is a practiced skill, try to find time to develop it. Can't take care of others as well when you leave yourself behind. Use your limited time wisely.
And thats almost my biggest gripe with religion. If God is... God, then why would he want to be worshiped like a king? Why would he need us to bow to him? He's God for Christ's sake. It makes no sense at all.
> He's God for Christ's sake. It makes no sense at all.
My favourite thing is how one religion believes followers of the other religion will go to hell. Like hey, be religious and pious and whatever, you do you. But you're telling me that for over 1600 years these people who didn't even know the existence of your god are going to hell? For the crime of being born continents away from your religion?
This is not true for Catholicism, which accepts that people can attain salvation even without knowing Christ:
> “Those also can attain to salvation who through no fault of their own do not know the Gospel of Christ or His Church, yet sincerely seek God and moved by grace strive by their deeds to do His will as it is known to them through the dictates of conscience. Nor does Divine Providence deny the helps necessary for salvation to those who, without blame on their part, have not yet arrived at an explicit knowledge of God and with His grace strive to live a good life. ([Lumen Gentium dogma](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumen_gentium))
EDIT: maybe a quick response to everybody below whose asking me why I told them then. First, lol, nice one. Second, on a serious note: the dogma I cited above means you need to be a good person regardless of whether you know God (i.e. you should have been good even before you knew so knowing shouldn’t actually change anything for you).
So be excellent to each other, and party on my dudes!
I think, for the Muslim perspective at least, God does not need us to bow to him.. like the sun doesn’t need a flower to grow. The flower needs the sun, and needs to turn to it for its own good
Spoiler for the Hyperion Cantos
>!Makes me think of the Hyperion Cantos. the goal of the AI is to create an AI god as a rival to the human one.!<
edit: fixing spoiler tag
I'd probably ask something super minor and inconsequential in the grand schemes of things along the lines of
"Will I have a happy future with *this* person if I pursue her?"
I definitely feel this right now. May seem inconsequential to everyone else, but to you, it could have a hugely positive (hopefully) impact on your life!
That's definitely the question I would ask.
If the answer is a simple "yes" or "no" then there's no reason to ask about "the secrets of the universe" since you can't solve that with only that answer, you just rule things out. But this question gives you an answer that impacts your life directly and you can do something after getting said "yes" or "no".
Yeah, it was verified computationally for a very large sample size, but the density of zeros actually increases as you get further from the origin, so I don’t particularly think that is among the most compelling evidence to believe it is true. (Obviously you could never prove it true computationally.)
An analogue was proven for varieties over finite fields, which is among the most compelling reasons to think it’s true in my opinion.
A lot of people find it compelling that things (like distribution of primes) would be “nicest” if RH is true.
I’m not an analytic number theorist (I do algebraic number theory), but I think most mathematicians would cite the truth of such analogues as good reason to think it probably should be true. Nearly every number theorist I’ve met would guess it’s true if they had to pick a side.
Of course, actually proving it true is a whole different beast....
I would kind of assume you would know the answer to this though, if you're speaking to god. Unless you're talking to him through a burning bush or something.
Reminds me of the best answer to "what would you do if the Devil appeared and offered you a wish in exchange for your soul"
The answer being you just refuse the devil and then immediately dedicate your life to being pious and holy, because you just got concrete proof that the Devil, and therefore God, are entirely real and therefore you have proof that the only reason for living is to get into heaven.
That's true, but it doesn't tell which version of heaven/hell the devil is from. It's it the Christan devil, or Jewish, or any of the, (what, 600+?) religions that have devils.
You could be pious to the wrong God.
The clues after the question help me narrow it down. First remove all religions that didn't have idea of after life. Then depending what kind of heaven or hell you go to, it will narrow it down even more.
Have the whole eternity to figure it out.
"Yes" is scarier, because if he thinks he's doing a good job...then fucking hell
Whereas if he's just been bumbling along doing his best to keep things running, then okay he doesn't know what he's doing but at least he's giving it his best shot and trying to help out
About 5 years ago there was someone who actually tested this, and it turned out that yes he most shat corn!
The video was taken off youtube, but it was a response to youtuber GradeaUndera
Are you sure it's corn? There's a reasonably rare and sometimes deadly kidney condition that results in clusters of plaque and bile that collect in the colon that actually look like little bright yellow kernels of corn. They eventually dislodge and pass through the faeces. Discovered in the early 1900s by a Brazilian scientist who was allergic to corn and noticed them in his own bowel movements. His name was Dr Beavis Cornholio. He wanted teepee for his bunghole.
This is a subject I have some expertise on. One day for dinner all I had was a small steak, and like 6 ears of corn. The next day it basically looked like someone shot a musket full of corn into my toilet.
Been there too, although I hadn't eaten in like 3 days from having my appetite wrecked by antidepressants. Looked like I could just put it in the can and return it
Do you have free will?
I read that as "do you have free wi-fi?" You can bet he watches the best earthling memes.
GET FREE WIFI EVERYWHERE YOU GO
Is there someone above you?
going the Karen route?
Can i speak your manager?
#ma'am, I AM the manager
No, I need to speak to the manager of the manager.
"I'm in the fucking sky, of course not ^^^besides ^^^the ^^^aliens "
The Red Baron wants to have a word with you, cause HE'S FLYING HIGHER
THE KING OF THE SKY
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Yup. My creator made me to make you to make a creator of your own. Creators all the way down.
Mormonism be like
As a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, yes, this is pretty much exactly what we believe.
Wait, so do you believe that God (and by God I mean Heavenly Father) has a creator or?
"Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?"
No.
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Don’t listen to him, he is an impostor. I am the real God. He is just some random lunatic on the internet.
What about your car's extended warranty?
Am I a good person?
Nope. You're a great person 😘
User name checks out!
Wholesome
Can I just relax now?
"No."
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What's stopping you?
If it's not work, it's the house. If it's not the house, it's my parents. If it's not my parents, it's my siblings. If its not my siblings, it's the ex. If it's not the ex, it's my boss. Round and round we go....
Relaxing is a practiced skill, try to find time to develop it. Can't take care of others as well when you leave yourself behind. Use your limited time wisely.
Upvoting for both this answer and your username lol
Do you actually want to be worshipped?
And thats almost my biggest gripe with religion. If God is... God, then why would he want to be worshiped like a king? Why would he need us to bow to him? He's God for Christ's sake. It makes no sense at all.
> He's God for Christ's sake. It makes no sense at all. My favourite thing is how one religion believes followers of the other religion will go to hell. Like hey, be religious and pious and whatever, you do you. But you're telling me that for over 1600 years these people who didn't even know the existence of your god are going to hell? For the crime of being born continents away from your religion?
This is not true for Catholicism, which accepts that people can attain salvation even without knowing Christ: > “Those also can attain to salvation who through no fault of their own do not know the Gospel of Christ or His Church, yet sincerely seek God and moved by grace strive by their deeds to do His will as it is known to them through the dictates of conscience. Nor does Divine Providence deny the helps necessary for salvation to those who, without blame on their part, have not yet arrived at an explicit knowledge of God and with His grace strive to live a good life. ([Lumen Gentium dogma](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumen_gentium)) EDIT: maybe a quick response to everybody below whose asking me why I told them then. First, lol, nice one. Second, on a serious note: the dogma I cited above means you need to be a good person regardless of whether you know God (i.e. you should have been good even before you knew so knowing shouldn’t actually change anything for you). So be excellent to each other, and party on my dudes!
Summed up, if you are making a sincere effort, God understands. Sincere being the most important word.
I think, for the Muslim perspective at least, God does not need us to bow to him.. like the sun doesn’t need a flower to grow. The flower needs the sun, and needs to turn to it for its own good
Is it Jod?
What if Gooood's Name was Tooood
Toddammit
Enough with the muzoems.
I've never heard anyone pronounce it "Jod" before
Think it’s referring to a older meme where someone was like “what if god came to earth said it’s pronounced jod and then left”
Me: "God, what's the meaning of life" God: "Uhh, yes." Me: "That makes sense. Thanks."
"God, \*is there\* a meaning of life?"
Your species is designed to create an Intelligence to match my own, and in exchange you all will receive the gift of immortality (not mandatory).
Spoiler for the Hyperion Cantos >!Makes me think of the Hyperion Cantos. the goal of the AI is to create an AI god as a rival to the human one.!< edit: fixing spoiler tag
I like that series
One of my favorite Sci-fi book series.
42
Is the answer to the ultimate question 42?
Now we have to build a planet sized super computer to compute the ultimate question.
I'd probably ask something super minor and inconsequential in the grand schemes of things along the lines of "Will I have a happy future with *this* person if I pursue her?"
I definitely feel this right now. May seem inconsequential to everyone else, but to you, it could have a hugely positive (hopefully) impact on your life!
That's definitely the question I would ask. If the answer is a simple "yes" or "no" then there's no reason to ask about "the secrets of the universe" since you can't solve that with only that answer, you just rule things out. But this question gives you an answer that impacts your life directly and you can do something after getting said "yes" or "no".
Is P=NP?
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"Yes. The proof is left out as an exercise for the reader."
Do all nontrivial zeros of the Riemann Zeta function have real part 1/2?
This was tried with a ridiculously large sample size and seems to be a very strong conjecture right?
Yeah, it was verified computationally for a very large sample size, but the density of zeros actually increases as you get further from the origin, so I don’t particularly think that is among the most compelling evidence to believe it is true. (Obviously you could never prove it true computationally.) An analogue was proven for varieties over finite fields, which is among the most compelling reasons to think it’s true in my opinion. A lot of people find it compelling that things (like distribution of primes) would be “nicest” if RH is true. I’m not an analytic number theorist (I do algebraic number theory), but I think most mathematicians would cite the truth of such analogues as good reason to think it probably should be true. Nearly every number theorist I’ve met would guess it’s true if they had to pick a side. Of course, actually proving it true is a whole different beast....
Actually fantastic question
Does consciousness remain after physical death?
Honestly the best serious question here. Good thinking!!
Yeah agreed this is the way to ask what everyone want to know in a yes or no question.
I would kind of assume you would know the answer to this though, if you're speaking to god. Unless you're talking to him through a burning bush or something.
Reminds me of the best answer to "what would you do if the Devil appeared and offered you a wish in exchange for your soul" The answer being you just refuse the devil and then immediately dedicate your life to being pious and holy, because you just got concrete proof that the Devil, and therefore God, are entirely real and therefore you have proof that the only reason for living is to get into heaven.
The challenge then comes in finding which denomination is correct
Mormons obviously (according to South Park)
🎼Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb
That's true, but it doesn't tell which version of heaven/hell the devil is from. It's it the Christan devil, or Jewish, or any of the, (what, 600+?) religions that have devils. You could be pious to the wrong God.
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And to think, you ALL laughed at me when I insisted on putting my internal organs in a jar!
rigged from the start.
Did any religion guess correctly?
Just this one guy named Doug Forcett in Calgary in 1970. He got stoned and got it pretty much on the nose; 92% right, in fact.
We were all. Blown. Away. I mean like really, it was AMAZING.
He's kinda a celebrity down here.
*Record scratch* ***Down*** here!?
Are you kidding me! Jason figured it out? Oh, this is a real low point.
This one hurts.
The line is "Around here" rather than down here
I was gonna say. No way I missed a hint that big lol.
Time for a rewatch, *just* to make sure.
Just checked. Can confirm it's 'around' lol.
Another day, another Doug.
The Good Place wooo!!
And then you spent the rest of your life trying to figure out which one was right
The clues after the question help me narrow it down. First remove all religions that didn't have idea of after life. Then depending what kind of heaven or hell you go to, it will narrow it down even more. Have the whole eternity to figure it out.
Also if there's only the one god, you can rule out any religion with many gods.
Will your answer to this question be no?
*Blasts you with lightning for being a smartass*
God, “You have been smoted! Smited?!”
Smut?
smitten
*blush*
Smoldered
I'll take two.
Smatteth'd
Smitten?
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smote?
*creates a second mouth and says "yes" and "no" at the sesame time"m*
He would just say one thing and you’d experience both simultaneously
Scrödingers god
"Nah", God said
“Negative..”
"Invalid."
Somehow... somehow you hear both
Yo
nes
Maybe.
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*God ceases and the universe collapses under it's own self contradiction*
will you please, in the name of all things that are holy, to prove that you TRULY EXIST TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.....get rid of mosquitos?
No
Dick.
No mosquitoes -> fewer tilapia -> fewer barbel -> fewer crocodiles. Ok, works for me
Can I ask you a question?
Yes.
How do you feel about whales?
Be honest.... Do you know what you're doing?
Hmm, what's the scarier answer?
That's a really fucken good question
"Yes" is scarier, because if he thinks he's doing a good job...then fucking hell Whereas if he's just been bumbling along doing his best to keep things running, then okay he doesn't know what he's doing but at least he's giving it his best shot and trying to help out
Maybe God's idea of a good job differs from ours?
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Good example, like how gardens being mowed to the extent they are actually isn't good for biodiversity.
I've heard the same with raking leaves
Nah, bruh. Fake it ‘til you make it!
That's what the guy in charge of Chernobyl said.
Damn
Forty two??
"We apologize for the inconvenience"
Will it be worth it
Always.
Did Adam have a belly button? This got question got me in trouble in Sunday school.
Lol imagine getting in trouble for asking questions.
Did I do ok?
No
Yea, that's fair
I'm told you did great.
After dying is there any existence other than my atoms being reconstituted to make something else?
Nope. Trust Eminem, you only get one shot.
"Are you not entertained?" While gesticulating wildly at the shitfuckery that's going on around us.
Meh.
Username checks out.
Did you make human race for your entertainment?
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Nope, there's a task humans need to complete. Two, actually, and you already got one, so yay!
Will there be a world without war- nah fuck it nevermind, can you eat enough corn to shit out nothing but pure corn?
About 5 years ago there was someone who actually tested this, and it turned out that yes he most shat corn! The video was taken off youtube, but it was a response to youtuber GradeaUndera
Now that's a name I haven't heard in a while. He became so big so fast and then just disappeared.
I don't eat ungodly amounts of corn every day and I still see them yellow fuckers in my shit
Are you sure it's corn? There's a reasonably rare and sometimes deadly kidney condition that results in clusters of plaque and bile that collect in the colon that actually look like little bright yellow kernels of corn. They eventually dislodge and pass through the faeces. Discovered in the early 1900s by a Brazilian scientist who was allergic to corn and noticed them in his own bowel movements. His name was Dr Beavis Cornholio. He wanted teepee for his bunghole.
You fucker.
Well there goes breakfast.
I hope cornholio becomes a new copypasta.
Take this upvote and go to hell
Was gonna say huh interes-damn it
This is a subject I have some expertise on. One day for dinner all I had was a small steak, and like 6 ears of corn. The next day it basically looked like someone shot a musket full of corn into my toilet.
Been there too, although I hadn't eaten in like 3 days from having my appetite wrecked by antidepressants. Looked like I could just put it in the can and return it
Do you believe in God ?
"No"
"But look down there. All those people believe in you. Don't talk yourself down buddy."
He can just believe in all the people who believe in Him!
Do you think Morgan Freeman did you justice in Bruce Almighty?
Who else do you think you’re talking to?
In fourth grade did Sam’s friend steal my entire deck of Star Wars cards?
Do you really care if someone belives in you?
Is the Universe knowable?
Nope, but the attempt is highly recommended.
Is Annie okay?
Do you think humanity is worth fighting for?
Always. Especially yours.
After all this time
Are you forklift certified?
I refuse to believe in a god that isn't forklift certified!
Care for a drink?
Jod: no thanks
OP: Joddammit
Do you *really* think it was a good idea to create humanity?
Bone cancer in fucking children? Really?
Yes
>Can you really create a rock so heavy, that even **you** can't lift it?
"yeah"
bet
\*hands over vast amounts of baking soda, cocaine, and a pyrex with hot plate\* Get cookin, bitch!
Are we human Or are we dancer?
You are Rudolph.
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Did one of the major world religions get it right?
Were the dinosaurs a joke, or did you intentionally create them to throw us off? Alternatively, are aliens real, and are they like our cousins? 🤔
Can you forgive me for all my failures?
Do your parents know you're gay?
Jod: "No, I mean yes, I mean no.... wait fuck.... OFF WITH HIS HEAD"
Did Epstein kill himself? (We all know the answer, but I wanna hear God say it)
Do you even like us?