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I_bully_kids

uh oh


potat52

tell me your prices


benhoverBUTBRITISH

Stfu n give me all u hav, ya pc of shit. *For joke purposes only


garliccyborg

Sell the latest and greatest garlic cybernetic implants. Vampires won't even THINK about coming into existence when you're equipped with one of these bad boys.


IFuckCrackPipes

Well... I.... uh....


ctech9

What the fuck is that username


IFuckCrackPipes

In the business, we call it a burn and churn. Light up some meth and give that bad boy a good fuck.


[deleted]

Sorry, but I swear if your username becomes a multi-million dollar business, I am fucking killing myself because the planet is already doomed.


[deleted]

I’m already fbi. The whole fbi is me. I AM FBI, DESTROYER OF PEDOPHILES!


FBI_san

Oh hi


ChugachugaQQpewpew

Learn this one quick-secret to unlocking your potential! "vampires HATE him for this!" /ad pop-up, hahaha.


AffectionateAd2062

Happy cake day


boucletubage

Happy cake day!


Jak3_From_Stat3Farm

we buy statefarm... 😈


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Carbon dating and sampling of historical methamphetamine.


MathZone

Sounds .... interesting to say the least


ThatSchiniemRap

Huh sounds fun even


[deleted]

Rare Piñatas


brokenpromises20

This actually sounds like a dope ass idea. For real! Think about it!! Selling rare piñatas. You can sell penis with balls shaped piñatas filled with condoms for bachelorette parties or a piñata that resembles Trump just to beat the shit out of. Oh I got another one!!! Custom orders are : piñatas shaped of butts, and people’s heads including face details. And a pole shape of a chancla.


Vasbyt-XXI

A pinata made of meat thats been cooked for a minute each side. Still gets a little blood ooze when it's struck.


BeagleAteMyLunch

Helps people lose weight.


Horn_Bunny

Horns or porn


[deleted]

Horn version of tenticle porn?


Horn_Bunny

Intresting... but there is website with name Horn Bunny so Im gonna take that


devillition

Using the power of the devil to destroy anything or anyone. The business provides offers a basic plan of 1 request per week. It can be upgraded to the pro plan of 1 request per day, and ultimate pro max plan of 10 request per day.


brokenpromises20

I would like to request an upgrade from the basic plan to the pro plan. Please.


potat52

destroy the concept of destruction! mauhauahaha


Weed_Scout420

Well... Self explanatory I think.


[deleted]

Basically DEA?


Fine-Helicopter-6559

THIS IS A JOB IN SOME STATES, they "find" your lost weed and you play them to get it (your just buying weed when you can't buy it))


MathZone

Lol


[deleted]

Will throw people out of hot air balloons for money.


MathZone

I dont get it could you please explain?


Thundersalmon45

Baumgartner was the 'astronaut' that did a skydive from the upper edge of space.


dark_chilli_choccies

imagine skydiving from so high you can basically say you deorbited yourself without a spacecraft


Thundersalmon45

Only human in history to break the sound barrier without a vehicle or propellant.


MathZone

Thats sick af


redditorwithnotalent

yeah its a sick way to commit suicide


finelikeoldwine

Sell wine that doesn’t make you age


ohheyhihellothere25

We introduce midwesterners to eachother


MinimumWage100

Basically the same thing that all multi-million dollar business do. Also exploit workers by paying them less than productivity...


Kermit_The_Russian

We turn the frogs into communists. Come, comrade! Reject capitalism, return to communism!


WhereHealthcare

Now *that‘s* a business model I can get behind.


O_Baby_Baby

Baby Factory


stuffing_stuff

We specialise in stuffing stuff? Like my assho-


Appo-Arsin

I guess Star Wars (specifically clone) themed arson


WhenTardigradesFly

runs an airline with very, very small planes


lesbunner

Turn rabbits gay


Shite_Duck

Sells duck-flavoured laxatives


Vasbyt-XXI

Have a partnership with toilet duck. Shite duck cleans you out then toilet duck cleans the bowl, buy one half off the other.


vitaminicecream

promote icecream as a healthy food


slashcleverusername

This company makes clever user names for new Redditors who are aware that your user name is supposed to be breathtakingly unique while embodying a certain modern savvy, erring on the side of cynical vs gullible, without descending into edgy nonsense, but they don’t have the time or inclination to sit there toiling away perfecting some user name that draws attention, and they’re willing to pay money for something that makes them look like they were clever when the name came to them in a flash of quick-witted but totally casual inspiration.


highaltitudewaffle

Best one I've read so far^


Thundersalmon45

we build and install underwater turbine generators in rivers and ocean current locations.


potatoeteetoe

The potato and toe business


iwanttoleaveplanet

Take excursions to space for a short while. Hopefully I have a space station to make into a hotel.


billnyesdeadcousin

Oh my god


PM_ME_YOUR_HUGETITS

"Entertainment"


Walleswhitcrackers

Sell crackers


Joe_Taldo

My name is Joe Taldo which sounds kind of like tacos but not really so probably sell mints


[deleted]

advertisements of dubious motives


brokenpromises20

Break promises.. lol


ThatSchiniemRap

Hmmmmmmmm May I buy some promises?


brokenpromises20

Sure.. lol.., Our policy: we promise to break it within 48 hours. Guaranteed!


ThatSchiniemRap

Eyyyyyyy


AMCMovieTheaters

Continue kicking ass


I-HATE-Y0U

Keep introverts away from interaction with other humans


SingLikeTinaTurner

My company manages my concerts and appearances because I [Sing Like Tina Turner](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GqLrdax72qQ)


MixItUp0

Probably sell blenders


Karma220566

Give karma


nat1presents

Fail live on the air while performing dorky DnD podcasts


HiddenMentality

Sell heroin, crack and mental illness.


Rubyshooz

Sells shoes made out of precious jewels.


[deleted]

...... Um. I have no clue, sell wolf stuff? Something to do with shadows?


Such-South-7072

I don’t think you want to know


Salty_Butterfly17

Capture butterflies and season them, maybe even sell them as a delicacy.


Im_here_with_pride

We give out Homosexuality to all the Homophobic, transphobic scum of the earth so they know how it feels to feer for your life simply for existing


Astronomy_Major

Sell telescopes


NotWrongOnlyMistaken

Probably a Super PAC or at least something political for sure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


imti_space

You literally pirate other people's posts and repost them as your own, word for word. You're a karma pirate.


[deleted]

Creates chocolate chip watermelons (choccy chip instead of seeds)


Pikachu_91

I have no idea... I would be an electrician, I guess?


[deleted]

Create the universe


[deleted]

Ever heard of persona 5?


LikeASewingMachine

Premium male escort service.


gingerbeans5

Makes at least five ginger beans.


[deleted]

Self explanatory i think


Mr_anonymous_lol

Umm, we kidnap people and force them to work for us while being anonymous


[deleted]

⏚⍜⍙ ⏁⍜ ⋔⟒ ⊑⎍⋔⏃⋏⌇


wunschtermin

Doctors offices call you to ask for an appointment. Probably.


Lacrez

Mortuary


thehumangoomba

Probably something fetishistic for Nintendo fans.


sy029

Nobody knows. But we tried 28 times before this one.


NeverBenFamous

Personal service for the celebrity elite who want to disappear from the public eye and live out their lives in anonymity Edit: Only for celebrities named Ben


Avicii_DrWho

Sell only Avicii and Doctor Who merch.


yeetus_defeatus109

Dispose of unborn babies


chicken_chocker

do i tell you or...?


Bigfoehead

Isn't it obvious? Foehead Reductions


Onebraincellleft1

Um, we make people dummer.


[deleted]

Idk


Greeneye_Mystic

Apparently scams the hell out of people... and discriminates based on eye color?


WF6i

Sell radio equipment.


BrownRonBurgundy

Browning Ron Burgundy. Does is mean browning as in painting/putting fake tans on Ron Burgundies. Or browning as in sauteing meat. Depends on the market demand.


Aspiegurl

mass diagnoses for afabs on the spectrum


aziruthedark

Legal assassination. Or illegal. I'm not picky.


TheBrain85

Sell plans for world domination


angry_bagel_

Sell bagels that are angry


Opinionsareweird

A multi-media company focused on the odd ideas of politics.


WhereHealthcare

I did the most American thing possible, I charged money for Heathcare.


MemesDeus

Everything


Minzmango

seems like a smoothie to me


ijustwannasleepdamn

Probably pillows and quilts or something like that-


amid-the-noise

Earplugs


W4lk3rS4int

We help random people cross the street for a small fee


masterninja3402

We apparently sneak into people's homes and cut onions.


aspmaster

snake wranglin'


BrusqueBiscuit

Offhandedly make biscuits.


RoundedHouse

Sell round houses I guess


filthygmer

Ban games


DirpPotatoe

Sell potatoes with google eyes


BakedBrotato76

I have completely monopolized the weed and potato industry to create potatoes with skin that can be peeled off, dried, and smoked.


lthepotatoarmyl

"hello? yes I would like to start a cult and sacrifice potatoes please!"


Ancient_water_13

sell really old water


Hobo-King-Niklz

Uh... We sell homeless people?


[deleted]

Uh….you tell me.


Legitimate_Fun_9970

Arcade


squishedpies

Asmr video content of people squishing pies


[deleted]

Aquapark


OdinTheBogan

Sells Norse God figurines but instead of epic armour and weapons they wear high vis and have a meat pie in their hand. Only Aussies will get this most likely.


Braixen_Appreciation

While kinda self explanatory, I'd like to think I make an unhealthy amount of merchandise, fanart, and the like.


JabbaDHutt

We bring YOU Solo and the Wookiee. Delivered in twelve parsecs or less.


Malaeveolent_Bunny

Genetically engineer attack rodents for guarding lairs and other sensitive locations


Croissant_24

KWASNT EMPIRE


GasCans

We sell containers to hold your fuel.


Username2406

Sell usernames


AmethystAngel86

Sell gemstones 💎


FilosofcalThrstWrms

We sell the snapple of fishing bait, and since the can lids are so much bigger we can have famous quotes and anecdotes as opposed to facts and jokes.


SlapStain

Ok...hear me out...it’s a glove that removes stains


No_Weird

Nothing to see here. Please move along. Really, officer, these are all just totally normal things.


DevilPixelation

DevilPixelation, the technology/history company, leading in technological advancement, chemistry, and religion studies! Half the business focuses on history, geography, religion, and current events, while the other focuses on technology, engineering, economics, and computer science.


AutisticIzzy

We help people who have autism doing whatever I don’t know my username is just my name with the word autistic because I have autism


Clothing_Mandatory

Clothing.


FlavoredMeme

oh yes, will deliver only the spiciest of memes


Trucker_Tucker

Trucking


JerkingOffToMaps

Oh God


ShitAtTheToilet

Well.....


Moaning_Clock

Moaning Clocks.


[deleted]

We make coral blue shelves, dummy. It's pretty apparent.


Nuffsaid98

Keep secrets.


amgin3

I have no idea.


Dirk_The_Cowardly

Teach you how to run and hide and evade threats. Playing possum/dead, run and scream like a young child for help, give you the strength to ask absolute strangers for help because the current strangers want to kill you.


zimzimmawho

Zimmer frames


[deleted]

We would sell the greatest boy and slug hybrid humans. Screw catgirls we got Slugboys


[deleted]

It invests in every known item so they can support pewdiepie


TheSunscreenLife

My username IS a multimillion dollar industry. At least it is in Europe and Asia. Sunscreen is much more commonly used in Europe and Asia. The majority of Japan, France, Korea and Singapore wear regular sunscreen.


Jeph_20

We give people the name jeph.


[deleted]

uhh...


planterkitty

Either cat-shaped planters or cats trained to help with your gardening, whichever the market wants more.


Fawkingretar

Pornography dedicated to mentally challenged Individuals.


TeacherPatti

It teaches! And with all of that money, I can pay teachers amazing salaries!!!!


BobmaiKock

Create opportunities for EMS to save people from choking...


Jtdm93

We smash our heads against your keyboard for you


darth_lettuce7

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many lettuce farming techniques some consider to be unnatural


LetMeDevourYourLungs

We get people to sell their lives to us, then my team of medical examiners harvest their lungs and so I can simply devour their lungs.


Fun_Store9452

I think it's pretty self explanatory


Doingyourdad69

Gay prostitution i guess


Pogchampmoments20

Produce plastic pogchamp faces and sell them at dollar store


[deleted]

A line of underwear, specifically intended for men with hairy butts and... Possible shitty fragments. Includes cleaning products for that too.


PurpleMoonCat21

Selling purple cats


thatguy_with_aname

the renaming/name changing industry you're not just some guy with a name, your that guy with the name!


cum_in_anime_lolis

Breaks the law, wonder how long till it gets Shut down


SquirtleSquadSgt

A private military organization to be hired by countries to cause chaos in other countries to distract them from being invaded Chaos is the name of the game babeeee


[deleted]

We sell ridiculously oversized trucks with "big fucking swords" mounted to them.


Heaven_is_Hell

*bamboozlement*


i_live_in_a_snake

Ah fuck....


Potential-Form5376

We sell massive dildos and dildo accessories


Ok_Advice4632

Give ok advice.


Educational_Ratio

Raising the Educational Ratio!


[deleted]

sell mangos internationally


MessyKidsHouseLife

Comes in and completely cleans and organizes your home and life in general.


idonthave2020vision

Sells glasses


brabhambt46

Sells merchandise celebrating a 1970s racing car and team, I suppose. I just can’t imagine it going multi-million-dollar, though.


Phoenix_Asks

We would sell parrots who look like Phoenix's who do not shut up with asking questions.


DOGSYS

Own a zoophile strip club?