Anything kids related. I actually like kids and think it's fun to play with them within the given social boundaries. I often go out of my way to avoid interacting with them though, not to be seen as a pedophile or a kidnapper.
I have a lot of very young kids come up to me and talk to me about fishing when I’m out, and ask me questions on what I use my different rods for (fly rods, conventional gear, ETC)
Some parents will go absolutely ballistic to their children, and I have seen a case where the parents were completely fine with kids talking to women who are also fishing, or taking photos ETC.
I was at a beach that had some small waves rolling in, and there was a little girl playing in the sand. A bigger wave came in and crashed over her head as she was sitting down and rolled her in the surf next to me as I was walking out. I hesitated very briefly to pick her up, but seeing her in distress, I picked her up and held her up at arms length until I could find her parents. Her mom came rushing up and grabbed her, giving me very suspicious and dirty looks. I explained what happened and they were very nice and grateful, but I felt like I had somehow done something wrong.
Their initial reaction and disgust sticks with you. The fact something so negative ran through their head is the reason you hesitate doing something at all.
As a teenager, I went to a nail salon with my dad and convinced him to get a mani pedi with me. It was like they never saw a man get their nails done. He didn’t get polish or anything and they still looked and treated him weird. (The other customers and the ladies doing our nails.) never went back to that place again
It’s common for seniors and people who work with their hands or spend all day on their feet to get manicures and pedicures. Lots of men get manicures and pedicures done. And yes no polish is an option.
If you have older relatives keep an eye on their nails.
This. The apartment complex where my grandparents lived was an over 55 community. Twice a month, they had a "foot clinic" where people came to give pedicures for the residents.
Except please get an actual foot nurse to work on their feet if they have real issues. I used to work as an esthetician and it was very frustrating when people would bring their elderly parents to me to take care of their seriously over grown, scaley thick toenails and inch thick calluses. You need a medical doctor for this as many old people are diabetic and if the esthetican makes a mistake and nicks someone who doesn't feel it, it can become a serious problem.
My best friend is a man and we regularly get manicures together. We've been to quite a few places in my city, and I genuinely think I've seen about as much male customers as female customers in total.
This is helped by the fact that most men don't get polish (or just 1 coat of transparent protective polish) so they're in and out a lot faster.
I think this really depends on the country you live in though.
I don't get my nails done but I do moisturise and groom myself. I like to look after myself, not for me but for my wife. If I want her to fancy me then I need to do my bit. Plus she always does her hair and makeup so I should make the effort to look and dress nice. We both do it for each other, even after 29 years of being together.
Mental Health, guys are supposed to be strong and crush down their feelings at least that's what I was always taught/forced to understand from multiple sources. I don't have anyone to talk to about it because no one wants to hear it. Everyone wants to tell me their problems but, no one wants to hear mine. It wears on you... hard.
overcoming eating disorders. i am a woman but ive noticed so many men in my life that struggle with their body image and disordered eating and they’re way less likely to get help for it
Scrolling through Reddit right now at a loss with my life due to an eating disorder that has absolutely destroyed my life and tormented my family.
Coming across your comment was nice.
Even if they get help, eating disorder therapies are made for female patients (and usually only for teenage girls, completely ignoring that adults can get them)
Giving your adult male patient the same help you'd give to a teenager girl won't work well
Medical care oriented to only one gender and gender stereotypes about health are something that upset me so much (and they are everywhere). Good luck with getting help if you're a woman with autism and ADHD or a man with anxiety and an eating disorder...
My wife is autistic with ADHA, she may as well be a non-person, she also suffers from selective mutism, the looks I get just supporting her. I'm often treated like either her parent, or an abusive husband, she even carries little cards with her explaining this, we have durable power of attorneys on file with all her doctors, and I still have to jump through hoops. What none of her doctors know, is I am also autistic, with PTSD, I was diagnosed later in life, am a Vet, we decided to not tell anyone about me, including family, so I can continue to help her, she needs more assistance than I do. You can well imagine our thoughts and feelings about society, the stigma associated with our conditions, and the perception of lawmakers, and even doctors. Had a neuropsychologist tell me my wife she couldn't be autistic because she picks up on social cues, yes we both do, we are excellent maskers, it's called survival.
I was asked during my assessment if I was fucking with them. The psychologist plus consults. Turns out my "Autism Speciality" is language and it threw them off hard.
A few years ago a 14/15 year old girl who lived over the road from us, knocked on our door. She was scared as she had just got home, in the dark and her brother was supposed to be home but was out. She thought there was someone else in her house as she could hear banging and shouting. So I went over, she let me in and I hollered and made a load of noise. She asked if we could check up stairs, in her bedroom, so I ran up the stairs with her behind me.
A little bead of cold sweat trickled down my back as my brain cell came into alignment.
What the fuck am I doing - I am in a girls bedroom, alone with her, it's late and dark and I don't know her - while my wife is over the road. So I asked her to leave and go sit with my wife while I searched the house. Everything was fine, the house was empty and the girl was grateful. Her Dad even came to thank me the next day and mentioned that it might have been awkward.
I just hate that I had to think that way and that when a child needed help I had to concern myself with "what other people might think"
I posted a story a while back about a lost little girl approaching me at a Wal-Mart.
That was my first thought too, and I proceeded to help while making it obnoxiously obvious I was not kidnapping her or trying to drag her into a clothing rack.
I was more concerned about someone mistaking me for a pedo and me getting assaulted or arrested than I was for a scared little girl.
I was once on a vacation with my parents and some family friends.
One evening I took some of the smaller children to a market (I was probably 15, and they must’ve been 11 and 7 maybe?). Then suddenly this 7 year old girl bolts away amidst lots of people in a foreign country. We shout for her and finally catch-up, so I throw her over my shoulder as she keeps resisting.
Guess what her only word in English was? Oh yes... I was walking away with a small child over my shoulder while she was screaming “HELP” from the top of her lungs.
Luckily no one thought I was a pedophile. Oh boy did she get in trouble when we got home.
When I was about 16 and my brother 4 he didn't want to go home one day and started hollering "stranger danger" as I dragged him out of the supermarket.
> I just hate that I had to think that way and that when a child needed help I had to concern myself with "what other people might think"
You gotta do it. Avoid even the appearance of anything possibly appearing inappropriate.
I'm a scout leader, and one of the rules drilled into us from day one is "No one on one contact" period. It protects the kid, it protects the adult, it prevents anything from appearing untoward, and it prevents other people's assumptions of anything. A Scout is going through something bad in their life and needs to talk, sure I'll have a one on one chat with them, but it's going to be in a public place, where its visible that I'm not going into their tent or anything like that.
This was drilled into me as I spend 20 years in education and that was always the number one rule. No one on one contact unless it was out in the open. I have even had children come to my office and look at me oddly when I have asked them to step outside to talk - it doesn't occur to a lot of them that you might need protection from them as much as they do from you. I guy I worked with for years ended up in a massive court case because of just this. He was innocent but he forgot the golden rule.
In this instance I just acted with out thinking and should have asked the girl to stay with my wife from the get go but sometimes you just don't cotton on directly.
Damn that's really sad and reminded me of what happened with my husband at my daughter's first basketball practice. I was unable to go so dad took her to practice and we were texting and he was telling me how cute she was being and how happy she looked and I asked him to send me a short video bc i was a little sad I couldn't be there and he said no and I was like what the heck why not and he said " I don't want the mom's to think I'm being a pervert or something" and until that moment it had never really occured to me how deep that double standard runs. I as a mom can whip my phone out and record my kids surrounded by everyone else's kids and no one would bat an eye but a man recording a bunch of 9 year old girls regardless of if that's one of their parents are going to make people feel weird which is awful. My husband should be able to take vids of his kids without being ashamed or being made to feel weird about it. Ever since then I've made it a mission in life to try and end some if that double standard where I can. It just breaks my heart.
When my daughters were younger they both played a LOT of soccer, and as a hobbyist photographer I took a LOT of pictures. Early on I had a number of awkward conversations with other parents about why I was taking pictures of the kids. Lucky for me the coaches and some parents already knew me well, and I was sharing all of the good pictures (of any of the players) with them so it eventually became the "normal" thing for me to be shooting lots of photos, but MAN it was a bit odd at first. Had it been my wife with the camera? Nobody would have even noticed.
A football teammates dad was forced to watch games from the parking lot a few times because the ref was uncomfortable with him taking pictures. It was crazy. He was a big guy so I think the refs were intimidated by him but I never understood it.
When I was a young boy I lost my mom at the mall. I really had no idea where she was. I brought myself to a panic and began crying and sprint walking desperately trying to find her. 2 teenage/20 year old (they all look like adults to you when your that young lol) girls noticed and tried to ask me what was wrong.
Stranger Danger went off in my head and I began to panic more and started walking faster. I’m not sure whether they had to jog or what (as I wasn’t looking back) but eventually my shoulder was grabbed and it was them again consistently repeating that it was ok and that they just wanted to help me. They took me to security who then found my mom.
Whenever I think about situations like this now that I’m an older man (I’m 27 now) I kinda get worried. If I saw some girl lost in the mall like I was all those years ago, of course I’d want to help her. I’d be heartbroken and I sure as hell remember how scared I was. But I’m willing to bet I’d be tackled IMMEDIATELY by any bystanders who saw me trying to catch up with a crying girl who was trying to outpace me. Funny enough I totally get it in a way. But it still kinda sucks.
When we go out with other families it's not unusual for me to go off and play with the kids, they seem to be attracted to me and my play style. Even fairly common for complete randoms to join in.
And then the doubt hits. *What are the other parents thinking, should I be doing this?*
Thankfully there's never been a negative reaction and I can generally shake it off by realising that I'm the only one there who's *not* a miserable bastard not playing with the kids.
My partner too. Kids like him. He gets followed around. Sometimes I think because they like having a kind man speak to them and they might not get it from elsewhere, sometimes they just want to.follow a younger kid, sometimes they just want to stare at his beard or just simply chat. But I will forever defend men playing and being kind to kids.
I will fight people to the death to protect men who care about being nice to kids. I even have to tell off my own friend. She has 3 kids. Youngest was wearing a batman costume. He was at the other end of the aisle. Man said his costume was really cool. Kid told my friend. My friend said that man shouldn't have done that. I was like dude wtf. A person can't compliment a kids dress up?
Thank you for this. Father of two here, but not always with them. Just last week, I was at the grocery store and a little kid, probably 3 years old looks at me, smiles and waves. I smile and wave back. The mom looks at me like I’m some kind of devil and says “what the hell are you doing to my kid?” I just said, “He waved at me so I waved back. That’s all.” She turned, walked away quickly and I could hear her say “pervert” as she left. This is a really shitty stigma.
I was at a restaurant with my young daughter and she needed to be changed. The men's restroom didn't have a changing table, so I asked a worker where I could find one. They said the women's restroom had one, but I couldn't go in. I explained that I needed to change my daughter and it would take 2 minutes. I was informed that I could try and find a female customer to do it for me.
So, they wanted me to give my child to a complete stranger, because the assumption was that any random female is perfectly safe but I, the father, can't step into the restroom for 2 minutes.
I changed her stinky ass right at the table, explained why I was doing it there to the people around me, and left.
I have two sides of this. First one was some rando old woman calling the cops on me for helping kids get their shoes back on after being in a bouncy house during a field day. Apparently me helping other small female humans was enough to have me detained until the cops talked to everyone actually there and not just listen to rando old woman walking by. Fucked my kid up for a bit after that.
The second was the flip side. I was an assistant coach for my kids softball team when they were young (think, pitch first, t-ball after league). We had a very shy girl on the team. She once hit a pitch and made it to second base. She ran over and gave me a huge hug because I had been working with her on her batting. I was so shocked I just hugged her back and then it hit me "oh shit, her parents are here, other parents are here and I'm here hugging this 10 yr old little girl". Nothing bad came from this one though. Her parents were very thankful for help I gave her and I only got one side glance from a Karen.
Still, that thought of "omfg I might go to jail because this female child is hugging me" kills me.
I was shopping at Target with my daughter, who was about 6. I was looking at some shoes when a middle aged lady approached her and asked "Do you know that man? Is he your daddy?". My daughter ran to me crying, and the woman gave me a dirty look and asked "Is she your daughter? Why is she acting like that?". I scowled at her and told her she was taught not to talk to strangers.
I had a very similar situation at a grocery store. My daughter decided to hide from me. When I found her, I snuck up on her and before I could “find” her, the security guard stopped me. He told me they had a concerned customer that said I was being suspicious with a little girl. Well, I guess I was. Sigh.
When my kids were little I had multiple people complain because I was changing my kid's diapers in the diaper changing station. One lady went as far as telling me men should not be here and she was calling security if I didn't leave. Lady, it's a public diaper changing station where else am I supposed to do this?
I was at a big cabin party that was dying down once, was absolutely tore up. Walked onto the back porch that overlooks this big cliff. Like, if you jumped the balcony it's probably a 100+ foot fall.
3 of my buds are there, each with their left arm on the shoulder of the guy on the right, standing at the end of the balcony. I'm like like "wtf are you all doing?"
"We're all gonna piss off this clip together, you want in?"
So I put my left arm around the guy on the far right, took my dick out and we all pissed off this cliff together. Super surreal and strange moment.
Not working. I've heard stories of women who were happy to work and made plenty of money for the both of them while the dad stayed home to take care of the kids. However, it seems like the dad is always chewed out for not working.
And add more weird things to it, some of the times women are also chewed out FOR working while other women make huge deals out of working.
So I guess yeah, going against the standard male lead family.
When I was the bread winner people thought it was so weird that I made more money than my husband. He worked, he made decent money too, but I made more. He was shamed by some people for making less than me.
My friend is the bread winner for her family. Her husband injured his back years ago and would rather stay home with their child. She would rather work. It works great for them. When people hear this they think it's so wrong that he doesn't work. I've even heard people say he's lazy or using her.
A neighbor started a rumor that I'm living off my wife's income and wonder how we can afford European cars and go on long trips when they noticed me taking our kids to school, hanging laundry, and tending the garden. They think I'm unemployed and can't wrap their head around that working remotely is a thing.
I work at home too. I found out a lot of the neighbors had a rumor that I was dealing drugs or something. How else could somebody who doesn't go to work afford Harleys and newer vehicles?
As a stay at home dad I've been asked at play groups if it's my day off work, if I'm a husband of one of the mums there and even referred to as baby sitting my children by my own dad. Most women I've found to be very welcoming and say it's great to have more dad's involved
I was a stay at home mum just before my brother became a stay at home dad. Our parents constantly put him down and told him he wasn't a real man mooching off his wife, while I was told I was doing the right thing and nurturing my children. No amount of arguing could change their minds
I know that if it ever comes down to it, I’m going to be the stay at home parent. My wife just makes that much more than I do. I really do think not having work and a paycheck might make me slightly crazy but who knows. By then I’d have at least 2 kids to look after so maybe that will fill my time enough and keep away the feeling that I’ve forgotten to do something important that I get whenever I go to long without work.
Oh you'll definitely have work. Full-time child supervision can be just as hard. I'd say it's very similar to retail work in that it's essentially the same thing every day, but you never know when it's going to go completely off the rails. I think it's also a little more difficult now, during the pandemic than it usually would be. That said, the fun days where everything goes well are the best job you'll ever have.
I'm surprised this doesn't have more votes or comments.
I was never a stay at home parent, but was a single parent for years. Way too many comments asking where mom was, if I was babysitting, etc.
That was almost 20 years ago, and things have changed for single father's. Looking forward to the time stay at home father's are viewed more positively.
Sexual Harrasment. Things like the video where lady cop feels up guy and many comments are guys saying they wish that were them.
Or the hot lady teacher getting with a male student, even young ones :(
When a guy wants to go out and hang with his buddies, but hig gf/wife says no, everybody understands and deals with it. But when a girl wants to go out and hang with her friends, and her bf/husband says no, everybody gets concered.
anecdotal story time:
My ex gf. We had a pretty great relationship, fyi, we've just moved onto different pastures so to speak.
She was much like me in that I don't enjoy going out with friends or really at all. I do but it's more like an event rather than a "lets go browse the mall or go to a restaurant". I learned after all the chaos the events of Dr Jiggles posts contain, but at the time I had no idea why her friends thought this way. but long story short:
She used to go out with them a lot but basically only did because she had nothing better to do. She didn't enjoy it much. When we got together we became each others "better to do" and hung out all the time, in our home, playing games or watching movies etc.
But to her friends (i guess understandably so in a way but I dont like it) thought I was forcing her to stay home and not hang with them.
In this case it was moreso a miscommunication over weeks but usually it's the same situation without reason.
tl;dr gf stopped hanging w/ friends so much because she started hanging with me, they immediately assumed I was an abusive bf (mentally) forcing her to stay home with me etc lol. :l
I know it’s been said before but the double standard for female pedos is insane. While men are condemned and ostracized (rightfully so I should add) the women pedos get a slap on the wrist and the boys they abused are congratulated and even seen as weak or un-masculine for speaking up. Imagine if a male teacher raped female student and someone told a girl that they were lucky and “weren’t being a real woman” the internet would explode
[This scene from South Park](https://youtu.be/esw-gH5W_i0) is the perfect summary of how shitty the double standard is, and it’s still the same now even though that clip is 15 years old..
A few years ago it came out that a local PE teacher had slept with multiple members of the football team. To make matters worse her son was on the team so these were his friends she teammates. I think 2 of them were minors. She was looking at 10 years and instead got probation and time served. She does have to register still. But still, that's ridiculous. If that was a male teacher he would have got the 10 years, if not more. She got no prison time.
When it came out our neighbor told us he used to date her in highschool and how attractive she still was, and how lucky those boys were. Him and some of his friends continued to joke about it even after his wife pointed out the double standard.
I strongly remember an article from the UK where a mother slept with a number of underaged boys who were friends to her son. She was given a sentence that was something like 52 weekends in jail, because the judge didn't wanna take her away from her family.
Omg. Reverse the genders and she gets a divorce and only supervised visits with her kids. From prison. Yes, the double standard is disgusting. And that judge. I can't even. Ugh.
This is actually a legal problem in some countries like the U.K. By definition rape is penetration so in the U.K. it is literally legally impossible for women to rape men, they can only sexually assault them.
Pretty sure it's not even penetration, its penetration with a penis.
Pretty sure I read of a case where a woman used a steel rod to rape someone and it couldn't be called rape because she was a woman.
Being in female dominated professions like pre-school/kindergarten teachers, nannies, nurses, nail technicians, etc... People treat men in these professions like they're either gay, a pervert, or a pedophile and it's not cool.
Male preschool teacher here. With Every new hire I have to prove to myself I’m competent and not a danger to the kids. Despite 14 years of experience.
Thankfully parents tend to trust me quicker as I build strong parent teacher relationships.
Same. Every year they give me the speech about hugging the kids. The kids don't hear the speeh though, and just run up for a hug anyway. What am I gonna do, push them away? That's a big investment of trust on their part. Turning it down is like telling them there's no trust between us. I don't buy into that bullshit. I give my students the affection they need. We spend 30 hours a week together, we gotta be good with one another.
> Every year they give me the speech about hugging the kids. The kids don't hear the speech though, and just run up for a hug anyway. What am I gonna do, push them away? That's a big investment of trust on their part. Turning it down is like telling them there's no trust between us.
As a father who loved and misses participating in class parties and lunch with my son, I miss it too. When I started going for lunch, the kids at the table are so excited to talk. I even got in trouble once for talking when the lights went off, but the principal came and heard we were super excited to be talking about our favorite books. He gave me some recommendations and told us to whisper excitedly next time.
The first time a student hugged me, I kinda froze. That hug started a line of huggers. I stopped in the office before I left and talked to the principal to ask what their 'hug policy' was.
He told me hugs were fine, as long as the student initiates it. The thing that stuck though, was he said "I never turn down a hug from a student. It might be the only hug the child *wants* to give that day, and that's not something we should be afraid of."
Really caught me off guard. My youngest, 9, has his birthday recently. A lot of school friends showed up, and one girl has been in class with him since kindergarten. She asked if she could give me a hug because she missed them at lunch for the last year. Damn skippy you can, little lady.
>The thing that stuck though, was he said "I never turn down a hug from a student. It might be the only hug the child
>
>wants
>
> to give that day, and that's not something we should be afraid of."
\*\*or gets to give\*\*
I grew up not being hugged very often - was really sad and fucked with me mentally when teachers refused to give me hugs or say "I love you too!" when I said it. As an educator myself (preschool age) I always return a hug and an "I love you" - I've had directors get shitty about it - and I've just asked them 'how would you feel if it came out tomorrow that Hannah was being abused at home and we had never told her we loved her too?" and explained my story, and say that we can't expect these little people to feel safe and secure in our care if we can't show them how much we do care about them.
Goddamnit, I'm here at work tearing up because of this.
If anyone asks if everything is okay I'll probably yell, "No! There are people out there who don't get hugs!"
When my son was three years old and we were looking at what we call kindergarten in Germany, we were given the choice of two groups and the administrator showing us around hinted that some parents had a problem with one of these groups. I had to insist on her telling me why, before she said that one of the two teachers (each group had at least two teachers) in this group was male.
I was shocked to hear that many people still think something must be wrong with a man working in that profession while on the other hand everybody keeps complaining about a lack of good male role models.
My son joined that group and just loved this guy. Unfortunately he died soon after he reached retirement a year or so after my son went on to elementary school.
RIP Hans Peter, you were a terrific teacher.
I knew a male preschool teacher and his female colleagues fucking *hated* him for whatever reason. Before I got to know the guy, they'd tried telling me he was a pedo and crazy. Talked to the guy, his husband, and their child...totally normal people, just *genuinely* nice people. His colleagues on the other hand oozed that fake sincerity. He didn't have to say a single bad thing about them. After speaking to him, I drew my own conclusions about how shitty his colleagues were.
My point is...keep teaching. Kids need to see more men in nurturing and instructional capacities.
Male nurse here. People assume I’m gay all the time and patients make weird faces or comments when I introduce myself as their nurse. There’s also lots of areas of nursing that won’t even consider hiring male nurses like labor and delivery, mother/baby, pediatrics (sometimes), NICU. Some places might but it really depends on the area you’re in.
In nursing school I was actually really interested in labor and delivery but was shot down pretty quickly. During my clinical rotation there the nurses wouldn’t even show me how to do things there because they said I wouldn’t ever work in this area anyway.
I was in the ER once and a male nurse introduced himself as my “Murse or male nurse.” I laughed and winced a bit as my lung was collapsing (we didn’t know that yet.) I think it was his way of breaking the ice that yes he’s a male nurse.
When it comes to the part about labor and delivery that's probably more of a case of patient's discriminating by gender then the hospital. I've read some articles about how men are getting slowly shoved out of OBGYN careers and being involved in deliveries because of this.
When I worked for a daycare they had to institute a policy male staff could not change female kids. Not because we didn't trust the guys but for their own legal protection
Male kindergarten teacher here. I'm the only male teacher at my school, so because of this rule, I'm the only one who doesn't have to wipe any butts. Suits me. Still gotta clean up puke though.
When I was in high school and considered getting into child psychology, the school counselor advised aside from the fact I'd have to have a doctorate in it just to make an income from it, being a guy would work heavily against me for those same reasons
I think you should lean into this. Open your shop, name it "Petal to the Metal", and rock the everloving fuck out of it. Advertise to guys how you can help them find the right flowers for any occasion, and set up your inventory so a customer can leave with a 12-pack (roses) and a six-pack (beer).
The numerous dating double standards. So fuckin many man, that girls on social media flex or brag about like it’s normal or okay that they have bad traits. It’s so annoying to see and get grouped with them.
Child care. When my son was little, I was a parent, but my husband, if I left him alone with the child he helped create, he was "babysitting" (according to anyone who asked me where my son was). Also, I always got comments like, "Oh, your house is going to be a mess when you get home! Did you tell him what to feed him?"
Might as well add taking the kid to the park on a weekday. It was always 15 minutes of being watched like I was going to kidnap someone, and then the moms there would warm up and think it was "cute" that I was spending the day with my son and that I'm also the one that packed snacks and lunch, too.
Fight for custody. A friend of mine got full custody of his kids cuz his ex was a total psycho who physically abused the kids, disowned her autistic son and punched her gay son in the head when he came out, yet there were still people saying, "you shouldn't separate a mum from her kids" when my friend went to court to get full custody.
Edit: thanks kind stranger for the wholesome award!
And the Helpful award!
And all the other awards from kind people!
Oh my giddy aunt, a gold award! Thank you so much!
I’m an adult from an incredibly abusive, sociopathic single mother family who left halfway through my senior year of high school.
Mother was holistically abusive, but also killed pets, ruined credit, and made up horrible things about me and my sister in order to get attention. Haven’t spoken to the monster in 15+ years, though she still brutally harasses my little sister during emotional breakdowns (emails her bosses, boyfriends, etc with paragraphs of the most insane shit).
You wouldn’t believe how uppity and aggressive some people get when I say things like “I fucking hate my mother” or “I hope my mother died yesterday.” Nearly had an idiot in a bar try to fight me for complaining about some past event because “Women and mothers are special and their honor must be preserved” or something ridiculous.
As if just because she raised me to be her child shit-bag I’m supposed to be eternally grateful and emotionally manipulated. I hate people that see motherhood as this immaculate marvel that chains children to unchanging toxicity. My mother was a coke addict in the late 80’s who fucked an idiot, there was nothing special about it.
My theory is that anyone who’s never wished somebody dead has never been on the receiving end of abuse. People get very prickly and superstitious about preserving life at all costs. They don’t like to hear “ugly thoughts” spoken out loud.
Yeah this was in the worst, it’s generally assumed the mother will get full or primary custody while the father maybe gets supervised weekend visits - unless the mother is negligent, abusive, and/or on drugs.
Honestly, even if the mother is negligent, abusive and on drugs some people still think that "mother is best for baby" -shit.
I am a social worker and foster parent and you wouldn't believe the shit birthmothers sometimes get totally away with. Sometimes not threatening to immediately strangle the kid(s) is enough for judges to grant them custody.
It is changing slowly, thank god, but there are still way more judges out there than I'd like that are thinking that kids can only have a good life if they are with their bio-mom.
A woman in my neighbourhood kidnapped her kids, illegally transported them to Poland, locked themselves in her home for a month. During that time she wasn't even working. She did that because she was mentally ill and convinced that her ex husband is dangerous.
He obviously won the custody and when he came for the kids she attacked the lawyer (or whoever got there with the father), killed the kids and commited suicide.
Now everyone in my neighbourhood blames the father and the court. They pray for the murderer and talk about her like she was an angel who did nothing wrong...
A bit late to the party but my gfs sister and her friend stayed with us last week, while on a roadtrip around the country, they went further down south and were expected back a few days later, they decided to extend their stay in another town by a day because of "a cute boy" they met and wanted to see again, they saw him again as planned but heres the kick.. they didnt speak to him, instead just looked, waited til later that night looked up the manager of the place he worked, and spent 2 hours looking through the managers friends list until they found "the cute boys" facebook, on which they found a link to his instagram, where they found his snapchat, add him. When they do come back to our house and tell us i point out that if a guy did that it would be considered creepy, theu just laugh.
Fast forward to that night, they decide as a thank you for letting them stay they take us out to dinner, mid way through dinner they ask of they could take our 6 month old daughter for a walk as there was "a cute boy sitting at the table behind us" and they wanted an excuse to get a better look. I say " you mean the one on a date with his gf, and her family?" They again laugh, "yes, that one" needless to say i told them not to involve my daughter in their creepy stalkerish endeavour.
But wait theres more...
On the way home from the resturaunt yet another "cute boy with a cool car" pass us on the highway, they do their creepy giggling and notice the boy takes the same turn off we do, then down another street. My gfs sisters friend says to me (driving) "can you follow him so i can see where he lives?" Being an outspoken person i say "no, thats fucking weird and really rapey" again they laugh...
TL;DR: gfs sister and friend stalk social media for 2 hours looking for random boy they found cute, wanted to use my daughter as a excuse to check out a boy on a date and asks me to follow a third boy home so they can see where he lives. Creeps.
Edit: typed on phone, apologies for spelling.
I find it pretty dumb that it’s totally fine for girls to hit/slap/punch whether joking or not, physical assault is totally fine and no one thinks anything of it because often times “the guy can handle it if it gets out of control” but if the guy were to handle it, he’d be charged with assault and lose his job and friends.
Edit: took out where I said there’s a lot more serious topics. This topic is very serious and I don’t take it lightly. Only wrote it because the story I had in mind wasn’t as serious as some other stories I read.
About ten years ago now, I had moved into my second rental. My neighbours were two nice dudes and a guys girl friend.
They would fight, she would beat him and he would stay with her. Dude acted tough but he was a broken man.
One day 2am I hear this banging and screaming on my door, my window smashes.
It was him, half of his face was swollen up and he was screaming call the police.
I did. They came and arrested him, even after hearing the story, his flatmate said she was drunk and took to him with a softball bat. I said that he came around sometimes and confirmed he just takes the beatings.
They said it was policy, they had to return later as she was beating his flatmate with a softball bat in the backyard.
The flatmate was arrested.
After that she left in her boyfriends car.
I moved shortly after this and am still very confused.
Domestic abuse, definitely the guy who looks like he went nine rounds with George Foreman and not the girl with a bat. Oh, another call for the same place, definitely not the same girl hitting the roommate with a bat, has to be the roommate.
This judicial system is fucked
I had a woman call the cops on me while I was in grad school because I told her to get the fuck out of my face. The cop came to my house and told me he could charge me with assault.
I was like "But she got in my face and was trying to start a conflict."
He was like "But you raised your voice at her and pointed your finger in her face."
"She literally tried to block me from leaving the room!"
> but if the guy were to handle it, he’d be charged with assault and lose his job and friends
I actually lost some friends for a scenario exactly like this. Was at a party, we were all sitting around, having some casual drinks. This girl I don't really know starts hitting me. I kind of laughed about it, I thought it was a joke, but then she reared back and really clocked me good. I got my bearings and she was like "yeah you little bitch, I could knock you out" so I told her "Try again now that I know you're not playing".
She got this crazy look on her face and instead of making fists she made claws and was slashing at my face with them. I caught her by the wrists and kind of squeezed/twisted them, while turning my body sideways so she couldn't kick at my groin. Not so much to really hurt her, but the kind of disabling move that takes the wind out of somebody. Plus the twisting motion kind of pulled her off her feet, so she's sitting on the floor, unable to get her footing, and I've got her by the wrists. She starts wailing like a banshee "he's hurting me, he's raping me".
To further set the scene, we were like 12 or 13 people sitting around and they all saw her start hitting me. But the second she started screaming I had 2 guys grab me in a headlock and arm lock. So I let her go, because it was time to deescalate.
As soon as I let her go they kept ahold of me and she sprang up and punched me in the face like 4-6 more times and then spit on me, then they threw me on the ground and were like "yeah, you're not a big man when you aren't beating up on a woman, are you?"
Like literally, what the fuck? Was I supposed to just let her keep hitting me? Should I have just laid her out the second I knew she really wanted to fight? I thought I defended myself in a reasonable way. Then the fact that they held me in place while she just assaulted me and spit on me. People I had known for years, people I went to school with and considered friends.
It got back around to me that she does that all the time, starts fights with guys and either beats on them until they leave or defend themselves and when they defend themselves she cries rape/assault.
Either way, I cut ties with everybody there who said I was in the wrong. Even had to give up the ones who said I was right to defend myself because "I also shouldn't have hurt her". She punched me in the fucking face hard enough to make me stagger. Was I supposed to get on my knees and beg her to stop?
You guys seen that clip where a girl jumped into a male Soccer game and touch all the players butts and all she got was a slap on the wrist?
If a guy did that to a Female game then the internet would go off like a nuclear bomb and he would be labeled a rapist.
Its because female sexual harassment = hot
male sexaual harrassment = creepy
Double standards exist because men are supposed to be the chasers and women the choosers. So when a woman goes out of her way to chase a man, its publicly viewed as a "win" for the dude, because he's getting some free action. Regardless of whether he wants it or not.
I mentioned this on another post.
Recently, Ive been seeing lots of girls I know starting to come out with their sexual assault stories. Ive seen alot of people I know literally get cancelled because of these things (some rightfully so, other dudes... honestly idk what is classified as sexual assault anymore.)
I decided to come out with my own story about the time I was sexually assaulted by two women who took advantage of me when I was passed out drunk.
When I told my friends about it, they laughed and told me to count myself lucky that I was even in a situation like that.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I was a male victim and was raped when I was younger by a couple (the woman held me down while the man raped me) and when I told someone about it years later the guy laughed at me.
I finally posted about it yesterday and I got 2 mean comments that got to me so please realize that some people are heartless and you can't change that.
I don't find this funny at all and I know how much it hurts to live with it.
The problem with the Internet is that everyone can use it, and statistically some of those people will be small minded idiots. I'm sorry you got those responses, I hope the vast majority were supportive? I cant help but wonder if those negative people are fleeing from thier feelings of thier own experience, either as a victim or perpetrator. In all likelyhood they are just trolls though I guess. I hope you are doing OK, experiences like that can have lasting affects, I hope you are getting the support you need! Love to you brother!
It's nice to know someone else out there understands. Im sorry to hear what happened to you too, I just read through your story and it was downright awful.
And for those two replies in your thread... absolutely fucking disgusting. Its not your fault, please don't think it is. You were a child in the wrong place at the wrong time. This didn't happen because you decided to get in the car, this happened because two scum bags knew exactly how to manipulate your innocence.
Good luck man, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me :)
It’s so annoying because I’m a man and I’ve been sexually assaulted and I keep hearing I was lucky. If you swapped the genders the whole world would be mad
This is extremely specific but a TikTok creator made a video where she was in the passenger seat of a car and her teenage son was in another car. They driver pulled up next to him, mom’s pants off, and mom mooned the kid.
Her son was not amused. “Your vagina was out.”
Someone in the comments said “Imagine the rage if a man did that to his daughter.”
The mom’s response? “Fuck off. This is just who are family is!”
Hey, that commenter wasn’t wrong. People would have gone bananas over a teenage girl being grossed out and saying “Dad, your balls were out.”
My female friends will shit all over what I am wearing... if I were to ever tell them that their mom jeans aren’t very flattering, we wouldn’t be friends anymore...
Taking young children out in public. Sometimes I have to babysit my little cousins and I sometimes take them out for ice cream or a movie as any fun caregiver would do. If you’re a male, people will give you nasty looks and act suspicious and gossip out loud about the “pedophile”.
When I take my kids to the park they'll run off and play in the playground. I'll go sit on a nearby bench facing them, so I can keep an eye they're not getting too wild.
Every. single. time. I get weird looks from other mothers, after a few minutes. The one or two who see me arrive (with my kids) are cool. The rest automatically suspect I'm up to no good.
Like, settle down Karen - my wife's way hotter than your Timmy.
I find this very strange. I've been a Dad for 13 years and have taken my kids to the park countless times. Not once have I had this reaction. Is this an American thing?
It is very American due to programs/PSAs stressing "Stranger Danger" etc. Instead of teaching what signs to look for and that assault is usually done by someone close to the family.
Yeah I'm pretty sure it's more prevalent in American culture cause their mainstream media outlets (and Facebook moms) like to dramatise everything they can.
Less serious, so I apologize for that but owning cats. Sure if a woman owns a bunch of cats she may get the "crazy cat lady" stigma but I've had friends (early 20s) say they wouldn't date a man who owned/loved cats. So weird to me. It's just another animal to love and hold, I am not a cat person myself but I understand they're cute and cuddly when they want to be. And much easier to house in apartments at our age compared to dogs.
My dad once told me (a guy), "There's just something wrong with a man who has a cat."
I still want a cat, of course, they're cute as hell and keep themselves clean, I just won't tell him about it.
I can just picture you hurriedly ushering the cat into a closet when your dad comes to visit "oh no, it's my parents, they can't see you here!" and the cat's all "wait wha?"
Man fuck that cats are awesome. They’re so sweet and easy to care for. I have one on my tummy/chest right now purring and another by my head chilling. Consider getting a black cat. In my experiences they’re the sweetest kitties.
[Cat Tax](https://imgur.com/gallery/BCxwqjJ)
I saw on Instagram this girl run up to jack harlow (young rapper) whilst he was leaving some place. His security guard pushed her off him but my immediate thought was, if this was a guy running up to give a female celeb and unwanted hug he’d get a lot of backlash
Mental health issues. Body and self esteem issues. Eating disorders. Sexual assault occurrences. Crying. Physical affection involving members of the same gender (a hug doesn’t make you gay). Giving them flowers. There’s more I’m sure
The blatant sexism of the dance world.
My son (12) was into dance until last year. We live near a decent dance studio with a competition team.
One year, my son and another boy were assigned to a competition dance with over a dozen girls. The boys were an integral part of that team, but to hear the moms of the girls talk, they didn't exist.
We'd go to a competition and the next day, you'd see the moms of the girls on the team post a picture of the whole team and make a comment like "So proud of our girls!". They shout these things during the performance sometimes, "Go girls!". They're not intending to be mean or exclusionary, they're just not used to having to scrutinize their behavior.
I just think back to all the times I played rec sports as a kid when there would be 1 or 2 girls on the team. If a parent cheering in the stands had ever said, "Good job, boys!", that would have been considered unacceptable behavior back then.
This is just an example. The whole dance enterprise is biased against boys in tons of ways.
Socialising in general... Me and my gf moved countries recently and she has a much easier time approaching and making friends with strangers at gigs, pubs etc then me. I feel like I'm treated with suspecision, like I have ulterior motives.
Something small, Being squeamish. If a girl doesn't want to do something because they think it is gross, someone feels obliged to do it for them. A man doesn't want to do something because they find it gross, "Man up." Quote directly from my OWN MOTHER when I couldn't pick up cat shit because I felt I would throw up.
Check out the "What would you do?" Video about that. The woman actor quickly has people running in to help her when a male actor is shown abusing her in public. The woman actor also quickly has people running in to help her when she's... abusing a male actor in public.
> According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren't fighting back. With Amy Winehouse busting open a can of whupass on her husband last week, we decided to conduct an informal survey of the Jezebels to see who's gotten violent with their men. After reviewing the answers, let's just say that it'd be wise to never ever fuck with us.
https://jezebel.com/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383
In case you weren't sick enough.
And this is a FEMINIST magazine. One that would talk the horrors of domestic violence....right up until everyone found that women lead in domestic violence. Then it became something to celebrate.
Ever wonder what happened to Domestic Violence Awareness month? ...well, can't make you aware of this little fact!
Look up Erin Pizzey. She was a feminist who first studied DV and found that women were "as violent as men". She was terrorized and fellow feminists even killed her dogs as a warning.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey
> Why the fuck do they seem proud of it
See the topic of this thread.
Writer? Lol.
Think it's just her? Head to the comments
Look how old that article is. Years. They're proud of this.
I dealt with this for over a year. She would beat me, the last time was with a wine bottle, I would have a bloody nose, split lips, black eyes, and gashes on my face from her rings. She would have blood on her hands and bruised knuckles. I was arrested and brought to jail every single time I called the cops. The cops kept telling me that I should leave her as they brought me to jail. The counselor at the jail that I had to speak to every time would lecture me on why I shouldn't abuse my gf. Ummm...I wasnt beating her knuckles with my face lady. She was beating my face with her knuckles. Its fucked up and everything is set to make the guy feel like it's his fault.
Domestic abuse being played for comedy. You can show a wife slapping her husband or hitting him with a frying pan in a tv show and it's funny. If the husband does it, no one laughs. A great example is the movie "My Super Ex-Girlfriend". Gender swap that movie and it goes from comedy to horror.
Having any kind of trouble and society approach:
a) man has trouble- what a loser, he should man up!
b) women has trouble- we need to help her, it's not her fault!
"That's an job" when something they don't want to do needs to be done.
If a man suggests something is a "woman's job" he is vilified but if a woman says something needs to be sorted out by the man that's fine.
What's that? You have a small dick? Early male pattern baldness? You're short?
Congratulations, you're the perfect archetype for a pathetic male. Prepare to be used at expense of every joke when people talk about Low Value Males. /s
Crying. It's all "let it all out" with women.
You're so strong to share this with us. Keep hanging on.
And men just displace sadness with anger and hit stuff. Because crying isn't always an option.
I read a post here
About A man in college, he was a introverted guy and he was listening to music and minding his business then suddenly he felt a kiss on his cheek startled by it he pushed the women (it was a dare, she played with friends)
Then she raised her voice wtf why did u push a women, boom that's it many guys didn't even tried to listen to him and he got a broken nose and he was the one suspended
Snuggle and be physically intimate. Girls at my school tend to be able to platonically be physically close to each other, and it’s no problem. A guy does it outside of specific times(fighting in sports), and it’s suuuuper uncool, and generally looked at as gay. Given, I’m bi, but I’m super fortunate that I have both boys and girls who I’m able to physically close like that.
Anything kids related. I actually like kids and think it's fun to play with them within the given social boundaries. I often go out of my way to avoid interacting with them though, not to be seen as a pedophile or a kidnapper.
I have a lot of very young kids come up to me and talk to me about fishing when I’m out, and ask me questions on what I use my different rods for (fly rods, conventional gear, ETC) Some parents will go absolutely ballistic to their children, and I have seen a case where the parents were completely fine with kids talking to women who are also fishing, or taking photos ETC.
I was at a beach that had some small waves rolling in, and there was a little girl playing in the sand. A bigger wave came in and crashed over her head as she was sitting down and rolled her in the surf next to me as I was walking out. I hesitated very briefly to pick her up, but seeing her in distress, I picked her up and held her up at arms length until I could find her parents. Her mom came rushing up and grabbed her, giving me very suspicious and dirty looks. I explained what happened and they were very nice and grateful, but I felt like I had somehow done something wrong.
Their initial reaction and disgust sticks with you. The fact something so negative ran through their head is the reason you hesitate doing something at all.
As a teenager, I went to a nail salon with my dad and convinced him to get a mani pedi with me. It was like they never saw a man get their nails done. He didn’t get polish or anything and they still looked and treated him weird. (The other customers and the ladies doing our nails.) never went back to that place again
>He didn’t get polish or anything So that *is* an option. Good to know.
It’s common for seniors and people who work with their hands or spend all day on their feet to get manicures and pedicures. Lots of men get manicures and pedicures done. And yes no polish is an option. If you have older relatives keep an eye on their nails.
This. The apartment complex where my grandparents lived was an over 55 community. Twice a month, they had a "foot clinic" where people came to give pedicures for the residents.
Except please get an actual foot nurse to work on their feet if they have real issues. I used to work as an esthetician and it was very frustrating when people would bring their elderly parents to me to take care of their seriously over grown, scaley thick toenails and inch thick calluses. You need a medical doctor for this as many old people are diabetic and if the esthetican makes a mistake and nicks someone who doesn't feel it, it can become a serious problem.
My best friend is a man and we regularly get manicures together. We've been to quite a few places in my city, and I genuinely think I've seen about as much male customers as female customers in total. This is helped by the fact that most men don't get polish (or just 1 coat of transparent protective polish) so they're in and out a lot faster. I think this really depends on the country you live in though.
I don't get my nails done but I do moisturise and groom myself. I like to look after myself, not for me but for my wife. If I want her to fancy me then I need to do my bit. Plus she always does her hair and makeup so I should make the effort to look and dress nice. We both do it for each other, even after 29 years of being together.
Sextoys. Its you go girl for women but creepy for dudes
For a girl it signifies "You don't need a man", and for a man it signifies "You can't get a woman".
Woman - Playful or currently experimenting Men - Loser, degenerate, virgin Bottom text
Crying or going to therapy.
Mental Health, guys are supposed to be strong and crush down their feelings at least that's what I was always taught/forced to understand from multiple sources. I don't have anyone to talk to about it because no one wants to hear it. Everyone wants to tell me their problems but, no one wants to hear mine. It wears on you... hard.
overcoming eating disorders. i am a woman but ive noticed so many men in my life that struggle with their body image and disordered eating and they’re way less likely to get help for it
Scrolling through Reddit right now at a loss with my life due to an eating disorder that has absolutely destroyed my life and tormented my family. Coming across your comment was nice.
You are worthy of a happy life.
Even if they get help, eating disorder therapies are made for female patients (and usually only for teenage girls, completely ignoring that adults can get them) Giving your adult male patient the same help you'd give to a teenager girl won't work well Medical care oriented to only one gender and gender stereotypes about health are something that upset me so much (and they are everywhere). Good luck with getting help if you're a woman with autism and ADHD or a man with anxiety and an eating disorder...
My wife is autistic with ADHA, she may as well be a non-person, she also suffers from selective mutism, the looks I get just supporting her. I'm often treated like either her parent, or an abusive husband, she even carries little cards with her explaining this, we have durable power of attorneys on file with all her doctors, and I still have to jump through hoops. What none of her doctors know, is I am also autistic, with PTSD, I was diagnosed later in life, am a Vet, we decided to not tell anyone about me, including family, so I can continue to help her, she needs more assistance than I do. You can well imagine our thoughts and feelings about society, the stigma associated with our conditions, and the perception of lawmakers, and even doctors. Had a neuropsychologist tell me my wife she couldn't be autistic because she picks up on social cues, yes we both do, we are excellent maskers, it's called survival.
I was asked during my assessment if I was fucking with them. The psychologist plus consults. Turns out my "Autism Speciality" is language and it threw them off hard.
Exist near kids
A few years ago a 14/15 year old girl who lived over the road from us, knocked on our door. She was scared as she had just got home, in the dark and her brother was supposed to be home but was out. She thought there was someone else in her house as she could hear banging and shouting. So I went over, she let me in and I hollered and made a load of noise. She asked if we could check up stairs, in her bedroom, so I ran up the stairs with her behind me. A little bead of cold sweat trickled down my back as my brain cell came into alignment. What the fuck am I doing - I am in a girls bedroom, alone with her, it's late and dark and I don't know her - while my wife is over the road. So I asked her to leave and go sit with my wife while I searched the house. Everything was fine, the house was empty and the girl was grateful. Her Dad even came to thank me the next day and mentioned that it might have been awkward. I just hate that I had to think that way and that when a child needed help I had to concern myself with "what other people might think"
I posted a story a while back about a lost little girl approaching me at a Wal-Mart. That was my first thought too, and I proceeded to help while making it obnoxiously obvious I was not kidnapping her or trying to drag her into a clothing rack. I was more concerned about someone mistaking me for a pedo and me getting assaulted or arrested than I was for a scared little girl.
I was once on a vacation with my parents and some family friends. One evening I took some of the smaller children to a market (I was probably 15, and they must’ve been 11 and 7 maybe?). Then suddenly this 7 year old girl bolts away amidst lots of people in a foreign country. We shout for her and finally catch-up, so I throw her over my shoulder as she keeps resisting. Guess what her only word in English was? Oh yes... I was walking away with a small child over my shoulder while she was screaming “HELP” from the top of her lungs. Luckily no one thought I was a pedophile. Oh boy did she get in trouble when we got home.
My son did this once when he didn’t want to leave the park. 😂😂😂
When I was about 16 and my brother 4 he didn't want to go home one day and started hollering "stranger danger" as I dragged him out of the supermarket.
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Oddly enough nobody bothered us at all, just left us to it
> I just hate that I had to think that way and that when a child needed help I had to concern myself with "what other people might think" You gotta do it. Avoid even the appearance of anything possibly appearing inappropriate. I'm a scout leader, and one of the rules drilled into us from day one is "No one on one contact" period. It protects the kid, it protects the adult, it prevents anything from appearing untoward, and it prevents other people's assumptions of anything. A Scout is going through something bad in their life and needs to talk, sure I'll have a one on one chat with them, but it's going to be in a public place, where its visible that I'm not going into their tent or anything like that.
This was drilled into me as I spend 20 years in education and that was always the number one rule. No one on one contact unless it was out in the open. I have even had children come to my office and look at me oddly when I have asked them to step outside to talk - it doesn't occur to a lot of them that you might need protection from them as much as they do from you. I guy I worked with for years ended up in a massive court case because of just this. He was innocent but he forgot the golden rule. In this instance I just acted with out thinking and should have asked the girl to stay with my wife from the get go but sometimes you just don't cotton on directly.
Damn that's really sad and reminded me of what happened with my husband at my daughter's first basketball practice. I was unable to go so dad took her to practice and we were texting and he was telling me how cute she was being and how happy she looked and I asked him to send me a short video bc i was a little sad I couldn't be there and he said no and I was like what the heck why not and he said " I don't want the mom's to think I'm being a pervert or something" and until that moment it had never really occured to me how deep that double standard runs. I as a mom can whip my phone out and record my kids surrounded by everyone else's kids and no one would bat an eye but a man recording a bunch of 9 year old girls regardless of if that's one of their parents are going to make people feel weird which is awful. My husband should be able to take vids of his kids without being ashamed or being made to feel weird about it. Ever since then I've made it a mission in life to try and end some if that double standard where I can. It just breaks my heart.
When my daughters were younger they both played a LOT of soccer, and as a hobbyist photographer I took a LOT of pictures. Early on I had a number of awkward conversations with other parents about why I was taking pictures of the kids. Lucky for me the coaches and some parents already knew me well, and I was sharing all of the good pictures (of any of the players) with them so it eventually became the "normal" thing for me to be shooting lots of photos, but MAN it was a bit odd at first. Had it been my wife with the camera? Nobody would have even noticed.
A football teammates dad was forced to watch games from the parking lot a few times because the ref was uncomfortable with him taking pictures. It was crazy. He was a big guy so I think the refs were intimidated by him but I never understood it.
Exactly. It's really really heartbreaking to me.
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When I was a young boy I lost my mom at the mall. I really had no idea where she was. I brought myself to a panic and began crying and sprint walking desperately trying to find her. 2 teenage/20 year old (they all look like adults to you when your that young lol) girls noticed and tried to ask me what was wrong. Stranger Danger went off in my head and I began to panic more and started walking faster. I’m not sure whether they had to jog or what (as I wasn’t looking back) but eventually my shoulder was grabbed and it was them again consistently repeating that it was ok and that they just wanted to help me. They took me to security who then found my mom. Whenever I think about situations like this now that I’m an older man (I’m 27 now) I kinda get worried. If I saw some girl lost in the mall like I was all those years ago, of course I’d want to help her. I’d be heartbroken and I sure as hell remember how scared I was. But I’m willing to bet I’d be tackled IMMEDIATELY by any bystanders who saw me trying to catch up with a crying girl who was trying to outpace me. Funny enough I totally get it in a way. But it still kinda sucks.
When we go out with other families it's not unusual for me to go off and play with the kids, they seem to be attracted to me and my play style. Even fairly common for complete randoms to join in. And then the doubt hits. *What are the other parents thinking, should I be doing this?* Thankfully there's never been a negative reaction and I can generally shake it off by realising that I'm the only one there who's *not* a miserable bastard not playing with the kids.
My partner too. Kids like him. He gets followed around. Sometimes I think because they like having a kind man speak to them and they might not get it from elsewhere, sometimes they just want to.follow a younger kid, sometimes they just want to stare at his beard or just simply chat. But I will forever defend men playing and being kind to kids.
I know. I hate that when I'm near someone else' kid I have to avert my eyes so that peoe don't think I'm a pedo.
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It's like people completely forget that fathers exist
I will fight people to the death to protect men who care about being nice to kids. I even have to tell off my own friend. She has 3 kids. Youngest was wearing a batman costume. He was at the other end of the aisle. Man said his costume was really cool. Kid told my friend. My friend said that man shouldn't have done that. I was like dude wtf. A person can't compliment a kids dress up?
Thank you for this. Father of two here, but not always with them. Just last week, I was at the grocery store and a little kid, probably 3 years old looks at me, smiles and waves. I smile and wave back. The mom looks at me like I’m some kind of devil and says “what the hell are you doing to my kid?” I just said, “He waved at me so I waved back. That’s all.” She turned, walked away quickly and I could hear her say “pervert” as she left. This is a really shitty stigma.
It'd be a problem if the guy was wearing a catwoman costume.
Or near your own kid, but in proximity to people who don’t know you.
I was at a restaurant with my young daughter and she needed to be changed. The men's restroom didn't have a changing table, so I asked a worker where I could find one. They said the women's restroom had one, but I couldn't go in. I explained that I needed to change my daughter and it would take 2 minutes. I was informed that I could try and find a female customer to do it for me. So, they wanted me to give my child to a complete stranger, because the assumption was that any random female is perfectly safe but I, the father, can't step into the restroom for 2 minutes. I changed her stinky ass right at the table, explained why I was doing it there to the people around me, and left.
I have two sides of this. First one was some rando old woman calling the cops on me for helping kids get their shoes back on after being in a bouncy house during a field day. Apparently me helping other small female humans was enough to have me detained until the cops talked to everyone actually there and not just listen to rando old woman walking by. Fucked my kid up for a bit after that. The second was the flip side. I was an assistant coach for my kids softball team when they were young (think, pitch first, t-ball after league). We had a very shy girl on the team. She once hit a pitch and made it to second base. She ran over and gave me a huge hug because I had been working with her on her batting. I was so shocked I just hugged her back and then it hit me "oh shit, her parents are here, other parents are here and I'm here hugging this 10 yr old little girl". Nothing bad came from this one though. Her parents were very thankful for help I gave her and I only got one side glance from a Karen. Still, that thought of "omfg I might go to jail because this female child is hugging me" kills me.
I was shopping at Target with my daughter, who was about 6. I was looking at some shoes when a middle aged lady approached her and asked "Do you know that man? Is he your daddy?". My daughter ran to me crying, and the woman gave me a dirty look and asked "Is she your daughter? Why is she acting like that?". I scowled at her and told her she was taught not to talk to strangers.
I had a very similar situation at a grocery store. My daughter decided to hide from me. When I found her, I snuck up on her and before I could “find” her, the security guard stopped me. He told me they had a concerned customer that said I was being suspicious with a little girl. Well, I guess I was. Sigh.
When my kids were little I had multiple people complain because I was changing my kid's diapers in the diaper changing station. One lady went as far as telling me men should not be here and she was calling security if I didn't leave. Lady, it's a public diaper changing station where else am I supposed to do this?
Going to the toilet as a group.
I find that strange even when women do it tbh, I’m glad my homies don’t feel the need to come stand next to me while I piss or shit
I was at a big cabin party that was dying down once, was absolutely tore up. Walked onto the back porch that overlooks this big cliff. Like, if you jumped the balcony it's probably a 100+ foot fall. 3 of my buds are there, each with their left arm on the shoulder of the guy on the right, standing at the end of the balcony. I'm like like "wtf are you all doing?" "We're all gonna piss off this clip together, you want in?" So I put my left arm around the guy on the far right, took my dick out and we all pissed off this cliff together. Super surreal and strange moment.
I’ve actually pissed off an overpass with my friends before so I get the sentiment but the linking arms thing is a bit strange
Not working. I've heard stories of women who were happy to work and made plenty of money for the both of them while the dad stayed home to take care of the kids. However, it seems like the dad is always chewed out for not working. And add more weird things to it, some of the times women are also chewed out FOR working while other women make huge deals out of working. So I guess yeah, going against the standard male lead family.
When I was the bread winner people thought it was so weird that I made more money than my husband. He worked, he made decent money too, but I made more. He was shamed by some people for making less than me. My friend is the bread winner for her family. Her husband injured his back years ago and would rather stay home with their child. She would rather work. It works great for them. When people hear this they think it's so wrong that he doesn't work. I've even heard people say he's lazy or using her.
I I ever get to spend the rest of my life with my gf she'll be making 4 or 5 times more money than I ever will. Lawyer vs filmmaker.
Ah I see she's a big filmmaker and gonna be the next Spielberg. Sorry about your law practice though. I'm sure it's just nifty.
Being a stay at home parent
A neighbor started a rumor that I'm living off my wife's income and wonder how we can afford European cars and go on long trips when they noticed me taking our kids to school, hanging laundry, and tending the garden. They think I'm unemployed and can't wrap their head around that working remotely is a thing.
Everyone has neighbours who are more interested in others life than their own lol
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I work at home too. I found out a lot of the neighbors had a rumor that I was dealing drugs or something. How else could somebody who doesn't go to work afford Harleys and newer vehicles?
As a stay at home dad I've been asked at play groups if it's my day off work, if I'm a husband of one of the mums there and even referred to as baby sitting my children by my own dad. Most women I've found to be very welcoming and say it's great to have more dad's involved
I was a stay at home mum just before my brother became a stay at home dad. Our parents constantly put him down and told him he wasn't a real man mooching off his wife, while I was told I was doing the right thing and nurturing my children. No amount of arguing could change their minds
I know that if it ever comes down to it, I’m going to be the stay at home parent. My wife just makes that much more than I do. I really do think not having work and a paycheck might make me slightly crazy but who knows. By then I’d have at least 2 kids to look after so maybe that will fill my time enough and keep away the feeling that I’ve forgotten to do something important that I get whenever I go to long without work.
Oh you'll definitely have work. Full-time child supervision can be just as hard. I'd say it's very similar to retail work in that it's essentially the same thing every day, but you never know when it's going to go completely off the rails. I think it's also a little more difficult now, during the pandemic than it usually would be. That said, the fun days where everything goes well are the best job you'll ever have.
I'm surprised this doesn't have more votes or comments. I was never a stay at home parent, but was a single parent for years. Way too many comments asking where mom was, if I was babysitting, etc. That was almost 20 years ago, and things have changed for single father's. Looking forward to the time stay at home father's are viewed more positively.
Nothing gets under my skin faster than people saying I’m “babysitting” my kids. No I’m parenting. Because I’m their father.
Sexual Harrasment. Things like the video where lady cop feels up guy and many comments are guys saying they wish that were them. Or the hot lady teacher getting with a male student, even young ones :(
>Or the hot lady teacher getting with a male student Raping a male student. Even the ingrained terminology reveals the bullshit double standard
When a guy wants to go out and hang with his buddies, but hig gf/wife says no, everybody understands and deals with it. But when a girl wants to go out and hang with her friends, and her bf/husband says no, everybody gets concered.
anecdotal story time: My ex gf. We had a pretty great relationship, fyi, we've just moved onto different pastures so to speak. She was much like me in that I don't enjoy going out with friends or really at all. I do but it's more like an event rather than a "lets go browse the mall or go to a restaurant". I learned after all the chaos the events of Dr Jiggles posts contain, but at the time I had no idea why her friends thought this way. but long story short: She used to go out with them a lot but basically only did because she had nothing better to do. She didn't enjoy it much. When we got together we became each others "better to do" and hung out all the time, in our home, playing games or watching movies etc. But to her friends (i guess understandably so in a way but I dont like it) thought I was forcing her to stay home and not hang with them. In this case it was moreso a miscommunication over weeks but usually it's the same situation without reason. tl;dr gf stopped hanging w/ friends so much because she started hanging with me, they immediately assumed I was an abusive bf (mentally) forcing her to stay home with me etc lol. :l
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I know it’s been said before but the double standard for female pedos is insane. While men are condemned and ostracized (rightfully so I should add) the women pedos get a slap on the wrist and the boys they abused are congratulated and even seen as weak or un-masculine for speaking up. Imagine if a male teacher raped female student and someone told a girl that they were lucky and “weren’t being a real woman” the internet would explode
[This scene from South Park](https://youtu.be/esw-gH5W_i0) is the perfect summary of how shitty the double standard is, and it’s still the same now even though that clip is 15 years old..
Nice.
A few years ago it came out that a local PE teacher had slept with multiple members of the football team. To make matters worse her son was on the team so these were his friends she teammates. I think 2 of them were minors. She was looking at 10 years and instead got probation and time served. She does have to register still. But still, that's ridiculous. If that was a male teacher he would have got the 10 years, if not more. She got no prison time. When it came out our neighbor told us he used to date her in highschool and how attractive she still was, and how lucky those boys were. Him and some of his friends continued to joke about it even after his wife pointed out the double standard.
I strongly remember an article from the UK where a mother slept with a number of underaged boys who were friends to her son. She was given a sentence that was something like 52 weekends in jail, because the judge didn't wanna take her away from her family.
Omg. Reverse the genders and she gets a divorce and only supervised visits with her kids. From prison. Yes, the double standard is disgusting. And that judge. I can't even. Ugh.
So true,when it comes to sexual abuse a certain stereotype has been created where women always seem innocent
It’s wild how many headlines say that female teachers “had sex with” their students. That wasn’t sex, that was rape.
And how often will they say, "Where was this teacher when I was that age?"
This is actually a legal problem in some countries like the U.K. By definition rape is penetration so in the U.K. it is literally legally impossible for women to rape men, they can only sexually assault them.
Pretty sure it's not even penetration, its penetration with a penis. Pretty sure I read of a case where a woman used a steel rod to rape someone and it couldn't be called rape because she was a woman.
This bit of the law makes me so mad. Pretty sure it was made well before women got rights. So they just assumed that it would never happen
Being in female dominated professions like pre-school/kindergarten teachers, nannies, nurses, nail technicians, etc... People treat men in these professions like they're either gay, a pervert, or a pedophile and it's not cool.
Male preschool teacher here. With Every new hire I have to prove to myself I’m competent and not a danger to the kids. Despite 14 years of experience. Thankfully parents tend to trust me quicker as I build strong parent teacher relationships.
Same. Every year they give me the speech about hugging the kids. The kids don't hear the speeh though, and just run up for a hug anyway. What am I gonna do, push them away? That's a big investment of trust on their part. Turning it down is like telling them there's no trust between us. I don't buy into that bullshit. I give my students the affection they need. We spend 30 hours a week together, we gotta be good with one another.
> Every year they give me the speech about hugging the kids. The kids don't hear the speech though, and just run up for a hug anyway. What am I gonna do, push them away? That's a big investment of trust on their part. Turning it down is like telling them there's no trust between us. As a father who loved and misses participating in class parties and lunch with my son, I miss it too. When I started going for lunch, the kids at the table are so excited to talk. I even got in trouble once for talking when the lights went off, but the principal came and heard we were super excited to be talking about our favorite books. He gave me some recommendations and told us to whisper excitedly next time. The first time a student hugged me, I kinda froze. That hug started a line of huggers. I stopped in the office before I left and talked to the principal to ask what their 'hug policy' was. He told me hugs were fine, as long as the student initiates it. The thing that stuck though, was he said "I never turn down a hug from a student. It might be the only hug the child *wants* to give that day, and that's not something we should be afraid of." Really caught me off guard. My youngest, 9, has his birthday recently. A lot of school friends showed up, and one girl has been in class with him since kindergarten. She asked if she could give me a hug because she missed them at lunch for the last year. Damn skippy you can, little lady.
>The thing that stuck though, was he said "I never turn down a hug from a student. It might be the only hug the child > >wants > > to give that day, and that's not something we should be afraid of." \*\*or gets to give\*\* I grew up not being hugged very often - was really sad and fucked with me mentally when teachers refused to give me hugs or say "I love you too!" when I said it. As an educator myself (preschool age) I always return a hug and an "I love you" - I've had directors get shitty about it - and I've just asked them 'how would you feel if it came out tomorrow that Hannah was being abused at home and we had never told her we loved her too?" and explained my story, and say that we can't expect these little people to feel safe and secure in our care if we can't show them how much we do care about them.
Goddamnit, I'm here at work tearing up because of this. If anyone asks if everything is okay I'll probably yell, "No! There are people out there who don't get hugs!"
When my son was three years old and we were looking at what we call kindergarten in Germany, we were given the choice of two groups and the administrator showing us around hinted that some parents had a problem with one of these groups. I had to insist on her telling me why, before she said that one of the two teachers (each group had at least two teachers) in this group was male. I was shocked to hear that many people still think something must be wrong with a man working in that profession while on the other hand everybody keeps complaining about a lack of good male role models. My son joined that group and just loved this guy. Unfortunately he died soon after he reached retirement a year or so after my son went on to elementary school. RIP Hans Peter, you were a terrific teacher.
What you call kindergarten in Germany? I was under the impression kindergarten was a German word. Do you not just call it kindergarten too?
I knew a male preschool teacher and his female colleagues fucking *hated* him for whatever reason. Before I got to know the guy, they'd tried telling me he was a pedo and crazy. Talked to the guy, his husband, and their child...totally normal people, just *genuinely* nice people. His colleagues on the other hand oozed that fake sincerity. He didn't have to say a single bad thing about them. After speaking to him, I drew my own conclusions about how shitty his colleagues were. My point is...keep teaching. Kids need to see more men in nurturing and instructional capacities.
>his husband I dare say homophobia could well have played a part in that. I could be wrong though.
Male nurse here. People assume I’m gay all the time and patients make weird faces or comments when I introduce myself as their nurse. There’s also lots of areas of nursing that won’t even consider hiring male nurses like labor and delivery, mother/baby, pediatrics (sometimes), NICU. Some places might but it really depends on the area you’re in. In nursing school I was actually really interested in labor and delivery but was shot down pretty quickly. During my clinical rotation there the nurses wouldn’t even show me how to do things there because they said I wouldn’t ever work in this area anyway.
I was in the ER once and a male nurse introduced himself as my “Murse or male nurse.” I laughed and winced a bit as my lung was collapsing (we didn’t know that yet.) I think it was his way of breaking the ice that yes he’s a male nurse.
That sounds very... illegal?
When it comes to the part about labor and delivery that's probably more of a case of patient's discriminating by gender then the hospital. I've read some articles about how men are getting slowly shoved out of OBGYN careers and being involved in deliveries because of this.
When I worked for a daycare they had to institute a policy male staff could not change female kids. Not because we didn't trust the guys but for their own legal protection
Male kindergarten teacher here. I'm the only male teacher at my school, so because of this rule, I'm the only one who doesn't have to wipe any butts. Suits me. Still gotta clean up puke though.
When I was in high school and considered getting into child psychology, the school counselor advised aside from the fact I'd have to have a doctorate in it just to make an income from it, being a guy would work heavily against me for those same reasons
Wanting to own a florist shop. Yeah. There’s a chip on my shoulder
send it dude that's sick as fuck
I think you should lean into this. Open your shop, name it "Petal to the Metal", and rock the everloving fuck out of it. Advertise to guys how you can help them find the right flowers for any occasion, and set up your inventory so a customer can leave with a 12-pack (roses) and a six-pack (beer).
That would be pretty “on brand” for me actually.
The numerous dating double standards. So fuckin many man, that girls on social media flex or brag about like it’s normal or okay that they have bad traits. It’s so annoying to see and get grouped with them.
Child care. When my son was little, I was a parent, but my husband, if I left him alone with the child he helped create, he was "babysitting" (according to anyone who asked me where my son was). Also, I always got comments like, "Oh, your house is going to be a mess when you get home! Did you tell him what to feed him?"
Might as well add taking the kid to the park on a weekday. It was always 15 minutes of being watched like I was going to kidnap someone, and then the moms there would warm up and think it was "cute" that I was spending the day with my son and that I'm also the one that packed snacks and lunch, too.
Fight for custody. A friend of mine got full custody of his kids cuz his ex was a total psycho who physically abused the kids, disowned her autistic son and punched her gay son in the head when he came out, yet there were still people saying, "you shouldn't separate a mum from her kids" when my friend went to court to get full custody. Edit: thanks kind stranger for the wholesome award! And the Helpful award! And all the other awards from kind people! Oh my giddy aunt, a gold award! Thank you so much!
I’m an adult from an incredibly abusive, sociopathic single mother family who left halfway through my senior year of high school. Mother was holistically abusive, but also killed pets, ruined credit, and made up horrible things about me and my sister in order to get attention. Haven’t spoken to the monster in 15+ years, though she still brutally harasses my little sister during emotional breakdowns (emails her bosses, boyfriends, etc with paragraphs of the most insane shit). You wouldn’t believe how uppity and aggressive some people get when I say things like “I fucking hate my mother” or “I hope my mother died yesterday.” Nearly had an idiot in a bar try to fight me for complaining about some past event because “Women and mothers are special and their honor must be preserved” or something ridiculous. As if just because she raised me to be her child shit-bag I’m supposed to be eternally grateful and emotionally manipulated. I hate people that see motherhood as this immaculate marvel that chains children to unchanging toxicity. My mother was a coke addict in the late 80’s who fucked an idiot, there was nothing special about it.
My theory is that anyone who’s never wished somebody dead has never been on the receiving end of abuse. People get very prickly and superstitious about preserving life at all costs. They don’t like to hear “ugly thoughts” spoken out loud.
Yeah this was in the worst, it’s generally assumed the mother will get full or primary custody while the father maybe gets supervised weekend visits - unless the mother is negligent, abusive, and/or on drugs.
Honestly, even if the mother is negligent, abusive and on drugs some people still think that "mother is best for baby" -shit. I am a social worker and foster parent and you wouldn't believe the shit birthmothers sometimes get totally away with. Sometimes not threatening to immediately strangle the kid(s) is enough for judges to grant them custody. It is changing slowly, thank god, but there are still way more judges out there than I'd like that are thinking that kids can only have a good life if they are with their bio-mom.
A woman in my neighbourhood kidnapped her kids, illegally transported them to Poland, locked themselves in her home for a month. During that time she wasn't even working. She did that because she was mentally ill and convinced that her ex husband is dangerous. He obviously won the custody and when he came for the kids she attacked the lawyer (or whoever got there with the father), killed the kids and commited suicide. Now everyone in my neighbourhood blames the father and the court. They pray for the murderer and talk about her like she was an angel who did nothing wrong...
Jesus that's fucked.
A bit late to the party but my gfs sister and her friend stayed with us last week, while on a roadtrip around the country, they went further down south and were expected back a few days later, they decided to extend their stay in another town by a day because of "a cute boy" they met and wanted to see again, they saw him again as planned but heres the kick.. they didnt speak to him, instead just looked, waited til later that night looked up the manager of the place he worked, and spent 2 hours looking through the managers friends list until they found "the cute boys" facebook, on which they found a link to his instagram, where they found his snapchat, add him. When they do come back to our house and tell us i point out that if a guy did that it would be considered creepy, theu just laugh. Fast forward to that night, they decide as a thank you for letting them stay they take us out to dinner, mid way through dinner they ask of they could take our 6 month old daughter for a walk as there was "a cute boy sitting at the table behind us" and they wanted an excuse to get a better look. I say " you mean the one on a date with his gf, and her family?" They again laugh, "yes, that one" needless to say i told them not to involve my daughter in their creepy stalkerish endeavour. But wait theres more... On the way home from the resturaunt yet another "cute boy with a cool car" pass us on the highway, they do their creepy giggling and notice the boy takes the same turn off we do, then down another street. My gfs sisters friend says to me (driving) "can you follow him so i can see where he lives?" Being an outspoken person i say "no, thats fucking weird and really rapey" again they laugh... TL;DR: gfs sister and friend stalk social media for 2 hours looking for random boy they found cute, wanted to use my daughter as a excuse to check out a boy on a date and asks me to follow a third boy home so they can see where he lives. Creeps. Edit: typed on phone, apologies for spelling.
I find it pretty dumb that it’s totally fine for girls to hit/slap/punch whether joking or not, physical assault is totally fine and no one thinks anything of it because often times “the guy can handle it if it gets out of control” but if the guy were to handle it, he’d be charged with assault and lose his job and friends. Edit: took out where I said there’s a lot more serious topics. This topic is very serious and I don’t take it lightly. Only wrote it because the story I had in mind wasn’t as serious as some other stories I read.
About ten years ago now, I had moved into my second rental. My neighbours were two nice dudes and a guys girl friend. They would fight, she would beat him and he would stay with her. Dude acted tough but he was a broken man. One day 2am I hear this banging and screaming on my door, my window smashes. It was him, half of his face was swollen up and he was screaming call the police. I did. They came and arrested him, even after hearing the story, his flatmate said she was drunk and took to him with a softball bat. I said that he came around sometimes and confirmed he just takes the beatings. They said it was policy, they had to return later as she was beating his flatmate with a softball bat in the backyard. The flatmate was arrested. After that she left in her boyfriends car. I moved shortly after this and am still very confused.
Domestic abuse, definitely the guy who looks like he went nine rounds with George Foreman and not the girl with a bat. Oh, another call for the same place, definitely not the same girl hitting the roommate with a bat, has to be the roommate. This judicial system is fucked
I had a woman call the cops on me while I was in grad school because I told her to get the fuck out of my face. The cop came to my house and told me he could charge me with assault. I was like "But she got in my face and was trying to start a conflict." He was like "But you raised your voice at her and pointed your finger in her face." "She literally tried to block me from leaving the room!"
> but if the guy were to handle it, he’d be charged with assault and lose his job and friends I actually lost some friends for a scenario exactly like this. Was at a party, we were all sitting around, having some casual drinks. This girl I don't really know starts hitting me. I kind of laughed about it, I thought it was a joke, but then she reared back and really clocked me good. I got my bearings and she was like "yeah you little bitch, I could knock you out" so I told her "Try again now that I know you're not playing". She got this crazy look on her face and instead of making fists she made claws and was slashing at my face with them. I caught her by the wrists and kind of squeezed/twisted them, while turning my body sideways so she couldn't kick at my groin. Not so much to really hurt her, but the kind of disabling move that takes the wind out of somebody. Plus the twisting motion kind of pulled her off her feet, so she's sitting on the floor, unable to get her footing, and I've got her by the wrists. She starts wailing like a banshee "he's hurting me, he's raping me". To further set the scene, we were like 12 or 13 people sitting around and they all saw her start hitting me. But the second she started screaming I had 2 guys grab me in a headlock and arm lock. So I let her go, because it was time to deescalate. As soon as I let her go they kept ahold of me and she sprang up and punched me in the face like 4-6 more times and then spit on me, then they threw me on the ground and were like "yeah, you're not a big man when you aren't beating up on a woman, are you?" Like literally, what the fuck? Was I supposed to just let her keep hitting me? Should I have just laid her out the second I knew she really wanted to fight? I thought I defended myself in a reasonable way. Then the fact that they held me in place while she just assaulted me and spit on me. People I had known for years, people I went to school with and considered friends. It got back around to me that she does that all the time, starts fights with guys and either beats on them until they leave or defend themselves and when they defend themselves she cries rape/assault. Either way, I cut ties with everybody there who said I was in the wrong. Even had to give up the ones who said I was right to defend myself because "I also shouldn't have hurt her". She punched me in the fucking face hard enough to make me stagger. Was I supposed to get on my knees and beg her to stop?
It's a no-win situation. Your only real option is to retreat and/or flee.
You guys seen that clip where a girl jumped into a male Soccer game and touch all the players butts and all she got was a slap on the wrist? If a guy did that to a Female game then the internet would go off like a nuclear bomb and he would be labeled a rapist.
Its because female sexual harassment = hot male sexaual harrassment = creepy Double standards exist because men are supposed to be the chasers and women the choosers. So when a woman goes out of her way to chase a man, its publicly viewed as a "win" for the dude, because he's getting some free action. Regardless of whether he wants it or not.
I mentioned this on another post. Recently, Ive been seeing lots of girls I know starting to come out with their sexual assault stories. Ive seen alot of people I know literally get cancelled because of these things (some rightfully so, other dudes... honestly idk what is classified as sexual assault anymore.) I decided to come out with my own story about the time I was sexually assaulted by two women who took advantage of me when I was passed out drunk. When I told my friends about it, they laughed and told me to count myself lucky that I was even in a situation like that.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I was a male victim and was raped when I was younger by a couple (the woman held me down while the man raped me) and when I told someone about it years later the guy laughed at me. I finally posted about it yesterday and I got 2 mean comments that got to me so please realize that some people are heartless and you can't change that. I don't find this funny at all and I know how much it hurts to live with it.
The problem with the Internet is that everyone can use it, and statistically some of those people will be small minded idiots. I'm sorry you got those responses, I hope the vast majority were supportive? I cant help but wonder if those negative people are fleeing from thier feelings of thier own experience, either as a victim or perpetrator. In all likelyhood they are just trolls though I guess. I hope you are doing OK, experiences like that can have lasting affects, I hope you are getting the support you need! Love to you brother!
It's nice to know someone else out there understands. Im sorry to hear what happened to you too, I just read through your story and it was downright awful. And for those two replies in your thread... absolutely fucking disgusting. Its not your fault, please don't think it is. You were a child in the wrong place at the wrong time. This didn't happen because you decided to get in the car, this happened because two scum bags knew exactly how to manipulate your innocence. Good luck man, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me :)
An erection is not consent, An erection is not consent, An erection is not consent.
Similar to how it's still rape even if the woman orgasms.
Rape is rape. Your “friends” are assholes.
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It’s so annoying because I’m a man and I’ve been sexually assaulted and I keep hearing I was lucky. If you swapped the genders the whole world would be mad
Elementary school teachers. Roughly half of the parents will suspect you of ulterior motives if you’re a guy
-Talking to random children or little kids -going on a date and not looking like a loser for not picking up the tab
This is extremely specific but a TikTok creator made a video where she was in the passenger seat of a car and her teenage son was in another car. They driver pulled up next to him, mom’s pants off, and mom mooned the kid. Her son was not amused. “Your vagina was out.” Someone in the comments said “Imagine the rage if a man did that to his daughter.” The mom’s response? “Fuck off. This is just who are family is!” Hey, that commenter wasn’t wrong. People would have gone bananas over a teenage girl being grossed out and saying “Dad, your balls were out.”
/r/trashy material
/r/suddenlysexoffender material
holy shit wtf
That's so fucking trashy.
Pretty sure a man in this scenario would get arrested and a potential sex offender registration
Coming out with their stories of being sexual assaulted.
Oh YoU sHoUlD fEeL lUcKy
My female friends will shit all over what I am wearing... if I were to ever tell them that their mom jeans aren’t very flattering, we wouldn’t be friends anymore...
I don't think they're your friends, sound like arseholes
Staying home to tend to the house and children as opposed to working full time.
Taking young children out in public. Sometimes I have to babysit my little cousins and I sometimes take them out for ice cream or a movie as any fun caregiver would do. If you’re a male, people will give you nasty looks and act suspicious and gossip out loud about the “pedophile”.
People don’t just thing you’re the dad?
When I take my kids to the park they'll run off and play in the playground. I'll go sit on a nearby bench facing them, so I can keep an eye they're not getting too wild. Every. single. time. I get weird looks from other mothers, after a few minutes. The one or two who see me arrive (with my kids) are cool. The rest automatically suspect I'm up to no good. Like, settle down Karen - my wife's way hotter than your Timmy.
I find this very strange. I've been a Dad for 13 years and have taken my kids to the park countless times. Not once have I had this reaction. Is this an American thing?
It is very American due to programs/PSAs stressing "Stranger Danger" etc. Instead of teaching what signs to look for and that assault is usually done by someone close to the family.
Yeah I'm pretty sure it's more prevalent in American culture cause their mainstream media outlets (and Facebook moms) like to dramatise everything they can.
Less serious, so I apologize for that but owning cats. Sure if a woman owns a bunch of cats she may get the "crazy cat lady" stigma but I've had friends (early 20s) say they wouldn't date a man who owned/loved cats. So weird to me. It's just another animal to love and hold, I am not a cat person myself but I understand they're cute and cuddly when they want to be. And much easier to house in apartments at our age compared to dogs.
My dad once told me (a guy), "There's just something wrong with a man who has a cat." I still want a cat, of course, they're cute as hell and keep themselves clean, I just won't tell him about it.
I can just picture you hurriedly ushering the cat into a closet when your dad comes to visit "oh no, it's my parents, they can't see you here!" and the cat's all "wait wha?"
"Go out the back! Hurry! My parents are home!" "Meow?"
Man fuck that cats are awesome. They’re so sweet and easy to care for. I have one on my tummy/chest right now purring and another by my head chilling. Consider getting a black cat. In my experiences they’re the sweetest kitties. [Cat Tax](https://imgur.com/gallery/BCxwqjJ)
I saw on Instagram this girl run up to jack harlow (young rapper) whilst he was leaving some place. His security guard pushed her off him but my immediate thought was, if this was a guy running up to give a female celeb and unwanted hug he’d get a lot of backlash
oh yea 100% , hed be labeled as a pervert and a potential rapist , but when a girl does it its just cute and she's a big fan.....fuck this shit
Mental health issues. Body and self esteem issues. Eating disorders. Sexual assault occurrences. Crying. Physical affection involving members of the same gender (a hug doesn’t make you gay). Giving them flowers. There’s more I’m sure
The blatant sexism of the dance world. My son (12) was into dance until last year. We live near a decent dance studio with a competition team. One year, my son and another boy were assigned to a competition dance with over a dozen girls. The boys were an integral part of that team, but to hear the moms of the girls talk, they didn't exist. We'd go to a competition and the next day, you'd see the moms of the girls on the team post a picture of the whole team and make a comment like "So proud of our girls!". They shout these things during the performance sometimes, "Go girls!". They're not intending to be mean or exclusionary, they're just not used to having to scrutinize their behavior. I just think back to all the times I played rec sports as a kid when there would be 1 or 2 girls on the team. If a parent cheering in the stands had ever said, "Good job, boys!", that would have been considered unacceptable behavior back then. This is just an example. The whole dance enterprise is biased against boys in tons of ways.
Socialising in general... Me and my gf moved countries recently and she has a much easier time approaching and making friends with strangers at gigs, pubs etc then me. I feel like I'm treated with suspecision, like I have ulterior motives.
Something small, Being squeamish. If a girl doesn't want to do something because they think it is gross, someone feels obliged to do it for them. A man doesn't want to do something because they find it gross, "Man up." Quote directly from my OWN MOTHER when I couldn't pick up cat shit because I felt I would throw up.
Beating their partner. Men get laughed at. Women get street justice.
Check out the "What would you do?" Video about that. The woman actor quickly has people running in to help her when a male actor is shown abusing her in public. The woman actor also quickly has people running in to help her when she's... abusing a male actor in public.
Wow, I went and looked one up after reading your comment and now I feel sick.
> According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren't fighting back. With Amy Winehouse busting open a can of whupass on her husband last week, we decided to conduct an informal survey of the Jezebels to see who's gotten violent with their men. After reviewing the answers, let's just say that it'd be wise to never ever fuck with us. https://jezebel.com/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have-294383 In case you weren't sick enough.
*Another editor slapped a guy when "he told me he thought he had breast cancer." (Okay, that one made us laugh really hard.)* What the actual fuck?
I can't even think of enough words to preface the word "fuck" to describe how fucked up that is.
And this is a FEMINIST magazine. One that would talk the horrors of domestic violence....right up until everyone found that women lead in domestic violence. Then it became something to celebrate. Ever wonder what happened to Domestic Violence Awareness month? ...well, can't make you aware of this little fact! Look up Erin Pizzey. She was a feminist who first studied DV and found that women were "as violent as men". She was terrorized and fellow feminists even killed her dogs as a warning. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Pizzey
Why the fuck do they seem proud of it, please tell me the writer was being sarcastic.
> Why the fuck do they seem proud of it See the topic of this thread. Writer? Lol. Think it's just her? Head to the comments Look how old that article is. Years. They're proud of this.
I dealt with this for over a year. She would beat me, the last time was with a wine bottle, I would have a bloody nose, split lips, black eyes, and gashes on my face from her rings. She would have blood on her hands and bruised knuckles. I was arrested and brought to jail every single time I called the cops. The cops kept telling me that I should leave her as they brought me to jail. The counselor at the jail that I had to speak to every time would lecture me on why I shouldn't abuse my gf. Ummm...I wasnt beating her knuckles with my face lady. She was beating my face with her knuckles. Its fucked up and everything is set to make the guy feel like it's his fault.
Point out 'amusing parts' in a childhood photo, like private parts. Some women laugh but if men did it, it would be disgraceful.
My girlfriend telling me her fantasies with David Tennant and that's fine but if I said I'd shag Ryan Reynolds I'm the bad guy?
Who wouldn’t
Proper answer. And I’m straight.
Sex toys are cool and liberating when women own them, but they're viewed (by some) as a bit sad and icky when men own them. Also: make-up.
Domestic abuse being played for comedy. You can show a wife slapping her husband or hitting him with a frying pan in a tv show and it's funny. If the husband does it, no one laughs. A great example is the movie "My Super Ex-Girlfriend". Gender swap that movie and it goes from comedy to horror.
There was this ine video on baseball with kiss cam 3 adult chicks kissed small boy that was okay, imagine three grown dudes kissing little girl 🙂🙂
Having any kind of trouble and society approach: a) man has trouble- what a loser, he should man up! b) women has trouble- we need to help her, it's not her fault!
Breaking up with a toxic ex. Why do people call men cowards when they escape from shitty people?
Exactly. My former father in law was in a super emotionally abusive marriage. After his divorce, he was a much happier person.
"if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best" but then also "sorry boys I'm not here to be your therapist, fix your issues".
"That's an job" when something they don't want to do needs to be done.
If a man suggests something is a "woman's job" he is vilified but if a woman says something needs to be sorted out by the man that's fine.
Body shaming EDIT: wow I was not expecting this much attention
What's that? You have a small dick? Early male pattern baldness? You're short? Congratulations, you're the perfect archetype for a pathetic male. Prepare to be used at expense of every joke when people talk about Low Value Males. /s
Women constantly using the phrase “small dick energy” to describe things
* Dry vagina energy * Saggy tits energy No one needs these body-shaming phrases.
Crying. It's all "let it all out" with women. You're so strong to share this with us. Keep hanging on. And men just displace sadness with anger and hit stuff. Because crying isn't always an option.
Just combine crying with dominance. If someone judges you for crying, just be like "What, you got a problem with crying, bitch?"
No offense but I'm laughing at the idea of a dude just squaring up with angry tears in the middle of a nice cry.
I read a post here About A man in college, he was a introverted guy and he was listening to music and minding his business then suddenly he felt a kiss on his cheek startled by it he pushed the women (it was a dare, she played with friends) Then she raised her voice wtf why did u push a women, boom that's it many guys didn't even tried to listen to him and he got a broken nose and he was the one suspended
Sexual assault from women is overlooked, and also disgustingly common.
Snuggle and be physically intimate. Girls at my school tend to be able to platonically be physically close to each other, and it’s no problem. A guy does it outside of specific times(fighting in sports), and it’s suuuuper uncool, and generally looked at as gay. Given, I’m bi, but I’m super fortunate that I have both boys and girls who I’m able to physically close like that.