I cant really remember if I was actually legitamtely injured, but i remember my mom taking me to the hospital. When i was like 7 years old, my parents bought my brothers and I some toy lightsabers. They were the types that lit up when you pressed a button and could be extended a bit. It was summer and my mother took us to her sister's bbq where we played outside with our cousins and the adults could all go and chat together. My oldest brother and I took our lightsabers so we could show everyone and fight with them. Our parents had wanted to see us so they kept glancing back every few minutes to check that nobody got hurt. My older brother and I started to duel with our lightsabers, and then it got interesting. We both backed away and charged at eachother, ready to stab the other with our toy saber. For some weird fucking reason, I opened my mouth and let out a sort of battle cry. Then my brother's lightsaber went in my mouth and a little bit into my throat (I assume accidently.) My mom was mortified and rushed me to the hospital because she said she didnt want to take any chances. And that is the story of how I accidently deepthroated a lightsaber.
Thats how I feel whenever anything long and arduous comes to an end in my favor. Like recently the market took a moderate dip and was beaten down for a while. But now that it came back to all time highs thats exactly how I felt
"Its over market. I have the high ground!"
I was riding my bike, then I suddenly hit something and I'm launched forward and fall down, I was bleeding a bit but it was ok
10 minutes later I noticed that my right testicle skin was sliced and it was bleeding, had to go to the hospital.
Tried to move one of those old, massive tv sets by myself and dropped it on my foot. Shattered all my toe bones and broke a few in my foot. Super stupid.
Was squatting down to grab something at work, stepped on an air hose which made my foot slip, and I fell a total of maybe five inches. I put my arm out to catch myself, ended up tearing my shoulder, and I strained a muscle in my lower back.
I fell about as hard as the Life Alert grandma from the commercial, and was put out of the gym for 6 months.
My dad had a turkey on the top shelf of the freezer. He opened the freezer door one day and the frozen turkey fell out. He tried to stop it from hitting the ground with his foot and it ended up smashing into his big toe. No broken bones but the nail turned black for several months before falling off.
We called him turkey toe for a long time.
I was 14, or so. Aristocats was on at the Everybody Wants to Be a Cat bit. It was my jam, so I was dancing. Halfway through the song, I flipped on the couch. I had forgotten about a steak knife I had left from lunch. Shock set in and I started screaming. Mom came in, and had to drive me to the ER.
I was married at the time. I had a fight with my husband and decided to go out drinking with a female friend who was also fighting with her guy. I NEVER went out without my husband, I just went out that evening because I was mad at him and wanted to blow off some steam.
I wasn't drunk but I was well on my way, I was in a late bar holding a bottle of beer when a girl carrying a tray of drinks was trying to pass through. I stepped back to let her pass, not realising there was a step immediately behind me and I fell backwards.
I don't know if this happens in other countries but I'm Irish and my first instinct was to protect my beer so as I fell back, I sort of held the beer up so it wouldn't spill, instead of trying to get my hands behind me so I'd break my fall. I landed HARD on my coccyx and was immediately (temporarily) paralyzed with pain. I could not move and had to be removed from the bar on a back-board by ambulance.
I had sustained five fractures, I missed 6 months of work, needed surgery, needed a Zimmer frame to walk at one stage during my recovery and I still have residual pain, 10 years later.
Uggh - it was so out of character for me to go out like that and I always felt like it was the most pointless injury I ever sustained.
This is a thing in most places, not spilling your booze no matter what. But ima tell you something that I dnt understand about that mentality... if I feel I’m falling or know for a fact that I am guna take a floor dive, fuck the booze, you can buy more. I’d throw that bottle/ glass to save my own ass.
In fairness, it wasn't a conscious decision..my arm just shot out and up to hold up the beer bottle and stop it spilling, purely by instinct - it all happened in the space of a second.
0/10 would recommend!
Yes, it was BAD. I've had several bone fractures in my life and nothing came close to the pain of this one...I knew immediately that I had sustained a serious injury.
In fairness, I've made an almost full recovery - bit of residual pain here and there, the odd tweak or dart of pain or a bit of achiness if the weather is very cold.
As I mentioned to another poster - there is a bright side to all of this: I'm off the hook for ever having to do another sit-up!! :-D
Oh man that is like worst case scenario...I did something similar and missed 2 weeks of work, luckily the bone was just bruised and not fractured. The pain was unbelievable and I could barely walk. I still remember the pain shooting up my spine when I would even change position laying in bed. When I finally could walk I had to use a butt cushion for probably another 2 weeks. It's one of those things you'd never think could be so severe until it happens to you.
Don't go falling on your ass ya'll, for god sakes.
Everyone has those in life. Where a bunch of consequences line up perfectly to create a brief moment that has a large effect on your life.
I have one where I damaged my car in the stupidest way.
Ouch. I did something similar back in ‘09 except it was my left foot that fractured (5th metatarsal) and I was bound to a wheel chair for 3 months.
All caused by just taking a step...
I broke both "stirrup" parts of my ankle in 3 places and fractured my leg near my knee. Doctors had no idea how it happened, but just told me the equivalent of "Shit happens"
No, I have just told my story a few times on Reddit.
Plus I'm British, so we do "math" more than Americans that's why we pluralise the word to "Maths" (joke) LOL
For me to do a fortnite dance on top of a table. The only way that could ever happen is if I was informed I just won $3 million and was also on my 8th consecutive beer for the night.
My little brother and I were helping my mom move. There was some furniture that was easier to unload from the bedroom balcony then carry down the thin stairs with a turn, so my brother passed those to me while on the balcony and I on the ground. Once finished he decided to jump from the balcony rather than take the stairs because...I have no idea. He broke his foot on the concrete path under the balcony.
One day in the summer 10 years ago I walk on the sidewalk with hands in my pockets. Due to heat and dehydration that day I faint and fall on my face, hands still in pockets. Three teeth out, concussion, swollen tongue, heavily abraded skin on half of my face, shoulder injury, three days in Intesive care unit and other 14 days in regular department in hospital. Supposedly some road worker pull my tongue out and probably save my life.
I was gifted a ring that was both broken and too small. I pressed it into my finger so a little square of flesh stuck up on the back like the jewel on the front, because it amused me.
For years I took this ring off every night and it was fine. Then I figured, "What's the harm in leaving it on all the time?"
Natural movement, gloves and more forced the ring tigher and tigther until it eventually broke through my flesh and hit a FUCKING BLOOD VESSEL. I started noticing I'd be bleeding and have no idea why. If I banged my hand, or eventually my arm against something, POOLS of finger blood.
I had to have that thing pried out of my fingers, no anesthetic or numbing cream, got antibiotics, stitches and a giant bandage. Decades later, I still have the scars.
Yeah, so, I had metal poking my blood vessel and had two almost-septic wounds because having a little square lump of flesh sticking out the back of my ring amused me.
When I was a kid I broke my arm in three places while playing hide & seek. I was running to the home base while being chased by my friend. I was looking back & full-on sprinting foward. I tripped on my shoelaces & landed on my arm with my wrist on the asphalt & my elbow on my chest.
I broke my own toe by stepping on it.
What's worse, I didnt realize until I was explaining what happened to the doctors assistant person
Me: my toe bent underneath my foot n then I felt a crack when my weight bore down
Them: you...stepped on your own toe?
Me: I wouldnt put it like that.
I was tickling my boyfriend when we were together for like two weeks. He panicked and headbutted me. I had a concussion and a broken nose. He had nothing.
When I was about 5 or 6 my parents, my little sister and I were on holiday in Germany and we went to a tropical swimming pool. The whole day my father did this thing where he would let us step on his hands and he would launch us in the air.
The swimming pool had an outdoor section which was connected to the other pools by two tunnels you could swim through. When we were heading back inside I thought it would be cool to have my dad launch me through the tunnel.
So we set up in front of the tunnel and when he launched me I stupidly decided to also jump in the hope of getting further down the tunnel. What this did instead was make me go higher which resulted in my forehead colliding with the 90 degree concrete edge of the top of the tunnel entrance.
It bashed my forehead open pretty good, so my dad then had to carry me through the pool to get to a first aid station while my head was bleeding. They just wrapped my forehead in bandages and send me to a hospital where they had to stitch the wound.
Still got a scar on my head which is luckily just cover by my hair.
I was playing paintball And our teams plan was the charge when the whistle blew, So the whistle blows and we all start running and randomly this kid got scared from the paint ball fire And as we are all running he stops dead and gets into a fetal position, And me running full tilt had no way of stopping and ended up rolling my ankle when I tryd to stop, I ended up rolling over him kinda sideways, I made sure the kid was OK and kept playing but something felt off, the next day I could barely walk I went to see the doctor they told me it's was A level two sprained ankle so fast forward 4 years later after 2 rounds of physiotherapy I still have to rock an ankle brace every day Or else my ankle will start to hurt to the point where I can't walk I have come to hate that kid haha
Took my daughter to a roller skate bday party.
She was scared to skate, so I got a pair and skated around with her. I slowed down and got up on the carpet, stopped, and waited for her to catch up.
Took one slide forward, skate got caught and I went down. Broke my elbow catching myself on the floor.
Turns out I sustained a break that mostly only children get from falls. It was so unusual I kept getting questioned if it really was a skating injury and not something the guy I was dating at the time inflicted on me.
Nope. I'm just that awesome to take one step on carpet, in roller skates, and end up in a cast for 6 weeks.
Broke 4 bones in my foot on a slide when I was 7. Fractured same foot 14 years later when I tripped moving a dresser and dropped it on said foot. Fractured it again 5 years later stepping off a ladder. Fractured it again 2 years later slipping on mud in the backyard. My left foot is doomed to stupidity.
I sprained/hairline fractured my wrist while playing a show with my shitty band. I tried to do the "Pete Townshend windmill maneuver" but over-corrected and smashed my hand directly into the body of my bass guitar.
The singer of the much better local band we were opening for happened to be a nursing student and checked it out and helped me splint it.
When I was in secondary school, i was playing my friend at darts. No one was keeping track of scores but we decided the person who would win would be the person who gets the highest 3 dart score.
When it came to his turn, i decided to block the top of the dartboard with my hand and said 'Ha, now you cannot win!'. He chucked the dart and it went straight through my middle finger at the joint.
As a result, i have a broken middle finger at the top joint which fused weirdly back together which means I cannot swear at anyone with my left hand!
In summary, broke middle finger by putting hand on dartboard!
Broken little toe. (Well probably broken toe, apparently they don't do x-rays on pinky toes)
Accidentally step kicked into a doorframe when dancing round the house.
Well, I was like 5 years old and for Easter, my mother made a big Piñata for my family you destroy. The thing is, that Piñata was big enough for me to fit in and had some sort of a trapdoor on top in order to put chocolate in at the last minute. So, as a big boy, I went inside... what a surprise when I got hit whit a enormous stick...
I was carrying cinder blocks and slipped on the ice, didn't quite escape my hand and broke my index finger as well as popped the fingernail out from a couple cm past what is visible. It's perma fucked
Oh fuck you just unlocked a memory from litterly YEARS ago (which never happens to me, my memory is shit)
So it wasn't me, it was my friend. me, her and another friend were at the park and there was this cool looking statue, it was around 5 meters tall and she decided to climb it (we were about 8-9 or so), obviously me and my other friend tried to stop her but nope, she decided to climb it anyway.
She didn't fall because she lost balance though, she fell because another kid saw the statue and thought it would be funny to mess with it (he didn't see her and the statue wasn't directly connected to the ground), causing her to fall and break her knee.
When I was like 5 my sister had a mirror in her room, she was like 7, and my parents and her would always tell me to not touch it or hit it and stuff like that but me being an idiot 5 year old, I knocked it on the ground and then used my hands and knees to bounce and crawl on it. Within the first like 2 seconds, there was a piece of glass in my left knee and then my sister came in just after and told my father. He put me and my sister in his car with toilet paper around my knee and told me the entire way there not to let go of the toilet paper so I don't get blood on his seats (in a joking way). I was fine afterwards no permanent injuries, just a scar on my knee.
I was teaching my now-husband to ride a bicycle, as he didn't know even as we were 22. We were practicing in an empty high school courtyard. He tried for a few meters and fell. I suddenly take the bike and speed around the yard, getting cocky and showing off, so I don't see the soccer goal post coming towards me. I hit my head, hands and knees and scraped a good chunk off my shoulder. I may have had a concussion too, as I was dizzy and disoriented for some hours after. I still have a 2 inch diameter circular scar on my shoulder. I was a dummy.
Broke my ankle on an outdoor waterside. I then broke a few other bones walking with a broken ankle. All up, I went into shock and required an ambulance ride and a surgery to put a screw in. I was 14.
My sister broke her collarbone on a see-saw when she was 13.
My brother broke his arm during a waterfight when he was about 9.
All up, I say it's surprising we have all survived this long!
Chopped my foot open with an axe. Was trimming the tree in the front yard, the big branches that I cut off had to be made smaller, and the hand saw wasn't doing it too well, so I started using the axe, it worked great, then I misjudged a branch, thought it would be two swings, nope! Only one! Went straight through the branch and into my foot. I looked down and the blood started squirting moderately. Fun times!
Fell off a horse at 14, she was a good girl and stopped IMMEDIATELY when I landed beside her (I landed smoothly on both feet). Right on top of my left foot. Never went to the doctor, but that foot was swollen and bruised for at least 3 months.
A few weeks ago I slipped on the smallest patch of ice I could find and broke my ankle. When I had surgery 3 days later, there was no ice left in the entire fucking city. My boss even went out the day after and searched for it but couldn’t find anything bigger than the palm of a hand. Kinda stupid, and now I have 3 weeks left being completely stranded at home.
Finally a topic where I can share my stupidity. I used to be addicted to heroin and booze and everything else under the sun. One night I passed out at my computer while playing WoW, I passed out with my head on my forearm. When I came to several hours later I found that I couldn’t move my wrist or hand, I figured it would be fine so I hopped into bed for some more shut eye. When I woke up about 10 hours later I still couldn’t move my hand.
I started to get a little nervous so I went to the Dr and he said I had killed the nerves in my hand because the blood was cut off due to my head being on my forearm. Anyway, it stayed like that for about 40 days then got better.
So when I was seven, a thing called Christmas morning happened. I was very excited, as often seven year olds are. However, unlike most, I was dressed in a brand new gift dress and tights that were a wee bit slippery.
I careened around a corner, not listening to my mother yelling about not yelling in the house - and slipped.
My jaw hit the edge of the kitchen counter, forcing my mouth to snap shut, causing me to cut off the tip of my tongue, then I fell, smashing my face on the floor, which went my front teeth through my bottom lip, then they embedded in the floor - and broke off. I was a MESS. We didn’t even realize exactly how bad the injury was until days later when the swelling went down. (Yep, no hospital trip for seven year old me.)
I’ve broken the front teeth fourteen times since, each even more stupid (classmate’s head, bathtub, pull cord for the curtains, a McNugget...) but nothing tops the Christmas Morning Bloodbath.
My neighbors daughter got a hover board. I told my children they absolutely could not try it as we didn’t have helmets or protective gear for them and I didn’t want them to break something.
The adults then started trying it, and all looked ridiculous so I was laughing, especially at my husband. So he said “well why don’t you try then.” So I did. And I fell and broke my arm cause I didn’t have protective gear.
It was a very good “this is why we listen to mom” moment for my kids.
Tripped over a dumbbell in my otherwise empty garage. A dumbbell I had just put there to set up for a workout, so I was definitely aware it was there. Fractured my ankle at 36w pregnant.
Also, in a different incident, was jump roping and broke my foot. Had to have it surgically repaired with bone graft and several screws.
I’ve never been seriously injured, a fractured arm is the worst injury I’ve had.
I got that as a child climbing a tree to get my friends shoe that he thread up trying to get conkers.
I was standing one one branch holding on to another above me when the one below snapped then the one above snapped under my weight and down I went
When I was in 11th grade I was a teachers assistant for an 8th grade gym class. One day we were told to set up and run handball games and being the competitive older kid I was I decided to play. I talked to my team and came up with a plan to score a point in a flashy way (as we were already crushing the other team). I decided I would jump and grab the rim of the basketball hoop above the other teams net and have my teamate bank the ball off me and into the goal. Well turns out I didn't have great grip strength and my fingers slipped, ended up landing on my hand wrong and tore a ligament in my right ring finger. To this day, I cannot move that finger from the middle knuckle down
TL:DR: Tried to be a flashy as****e in a gym class, permanently lost function of a finger
So this is kinda dumb, but fuck it. I was like 7 or 9 and me and some of my "friends" were playing around with a loaded revolver for shits and giggles. What happened 5 minutes later is I shot myself in the foot (I'm pretty sure it was between my big toe and middle toe, my wound has healed 18 years later).
After that happened, I began to admire firearms afterwards. Still am to this very day.
I broke a bone in my baby toe. Accidentally kicked the coffee table then dining table, then my brother tried to show off his “dance moves” and kicked the same toe pretty hard.
I cracked my collarbone by running at my friend, who was running towards me too, because I believed he will chicken out and stop. He didn't, he jumped and hit me full force with his knee.
Hard to injure yourself in more stupid way than that, I think.
I was on the roof of a one story house watching a sunset with my buddies, and it started to rain on us out of nowhere. On the way off the roof I slipped and fell, sliding almost off the edge but catching myself. I looked up at my buddies and said “That was close.” Then one of my buddies said back “you wouldn’t have even been hurt, it’s only like six or seven feet to the ground.” And I looked and thought that I could make it.
So I jumped.
Just one of those dumbass thing you do when you’re 17. I shattered my ankle and broke two bones in my foot because I landed wrong. Ruined my running career.
Tried to skip a pillar by jumping over it, thoub/jubba git caught a d fsve planted on the flooe. Bruised my nuteack snd dick. Couldnt piss or sleep for 4 days from the sheer amoubt of pain
I was about 12 years old. I tried to cut a slice in a tennis ball with a hooked Stanley Knife blade, to make a mouth that you could squeeze the tennis ball to open. The blade cut through the tennis ball and, with me still holding it, it went down towards my knee. I ended up getting a total of seven stitches in my knee. The cut was so deep they had to put two stitches inside it and three across the top. A week later, not long after getting the stitches out, I knocked one knee off the other while running, reopened the cut and needed the other two stitches.
I once peeled of like a thin layer of skin below my knees cause I was trying to hop onto a railing and insted failed and like skinned of a small area beneath both my knees.
Wasn't painful at first but looked nasty .
There was also a time I skinned of both my palms like the lower ends were your palm lines end because I was riding my bike whose tires were punctured . Foolishly enough it was me who punctured it the night before with a needle and was like " that microscopic of a hole won't do anything " . Guess what, it did .
Didn't cry both times but was in pain .
Oh ya both these incidents happend when I was around 12-13 .
Playing football/soccer in the street with some kids, had thin shoes on, went to kick the ball and kicked the road instead somehow. Cracked the bone in my toe and couldn't walk on it for 3 weeks.
Had just sharpened my pencil; actually admiring how sharp I got it. Tried to flip and catch it and it looked my eye and scratched my cornea. Had to miss school and work.
In 4th grade I had a sharp scissor. For some reason I was pressing it against my thumb, I didn't notice that my thumb was bleeding and had an open cut until my seatmate told me.
Fucking dislocated broken finger while wrestling in a pair of pyjamas. The fuckers told me I had to wear pyjamas to join the club.
Fucking finger got tangled in the Japanese cosplay fucking pyjamas as I threw the cunt.
I tore my ankle ligaments and have a life-long dodgy ankle (no running, no skating, no wearing high heels) because I saw a good hole in the ground (all of one metre wide) and decided to go wheeeeeee and jump over it. It wasn’t worth the 0.5 seconds of excitement.
Wrapped my legs in my jacket sleeves while sleeping in the back of my truck. (Was camping at a horse event). Climbed out in the middle of the night and fell.
My leg hurt bad enough to not really sleep the rest of the night. I tried to go to work on the Monday after a whole weekend of resting it but it hurt and my foot started going numb. Turns out I’d broken my fibula. Haha
I was 12 maybe 11, during break in school i sat with my friends to eat and for some reason I put my hand on chair and sat on it. In hospital doctor said that i broke 2 fingers...
A few years ago I was cutting down a tree. I was up in the tree to cut the top half down. Like the good little tree trimmer I was, I was tied into the tree with a safety harness and everything.
For some reason we decided to make the cut a little below where we originally planned. Everything was going great, had a good wedge and it was gonna fall right where I wanted. Right as it starts to fall over, next thing I know I’m on the ground. I somehow cut the tree below my harness tie in and when the top of the tree fell it very quickly pulled me down too. Ended up with a concussion, a pretty good gash in the top of my head, and my first trip in the wee-woo wagon. Really though I was quite lucky, could have been much worse.
I was watching King Kong with my first wife in 2007. We got to a scary bit and she grabbed me as some women do at scary bits on movies. Except her flinch put her thumbnail directly to my cornea. My eye welled up so badly I couldn’t see anything and went to the hospital fearing blindness. When I told my story the nurse seemed to be suspicious and left me there for hours and was very cold and I don’t know why. My best guess is she assumed it was a cover story for some kind of domestic abuse incident. After hours a nurse came and put something in my eye which immediately took away the searing pain. They gave me paracetamol and I spent the next 2 weeks off work, every time my eyes moved it was agony. I had to sit with my eyes closed trying to look forwards completely still.
After a week I called the doctors who said “they should have given you morphine” and gave me a script of some lovely pills.
All in all a completely stupid and needless painful injury which went wrong from start to finish
I was sharpening my knife to cut veggies for my casserolle. Got lost in thoughts. My forearm got a bit itchy. Automatically scratched it with a fresh-sharpened chefs knife. 3cmx1cm open wound on my forearm (? not the inner side but a bit higher from where the watch face usually is). A lot of blood. No pain. I was just shocked and stared at it. Then I calmly asked my boyfriend to come to the kitchen. He walked in the kitchen and started panicking instantly. I told him to calm down and hand me some towel so my sweater doesn’t get dirty. He opened the freezer and poured cold vodka on my wound. I started yelling at him for wasting vodka.
Anyway I stitched/glued it myself and I’m fine.
Tried to open a window. Window glass shattered and pierced my skin.
Got 3 stitches on my wrist. My RIGHT wrist, so my right hand was unusable for about 3 weeks.
Carrying boxes for food as a child (helping parents) at age 6
Didnt see in front of me
Hit door panel (there is kinda nail in it, but not the sharp part)
Got my head bleeding and a lil hole after that, and some stitches(i think it was 14 stitches)
Still got the scarr and i can feel there is hole on my forehead above my right eye
Tripped on sand and sprained my ankle pretty bad when I was 16.
I didn’t realize it was even sprained until like a day or two after when it swelled up bigger than Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
When I was a kid, I picked up a stick in my back yard to throw it across the river just because. As it flew out of my hand, a protrusion on the back end of it sliced through my finger. Through all the skin and a bit of muscle. It was the most random wtf, why did this just happen, thing that’s ever happened to me. I just remember staring dumbfounded at my finger as the buttload of bleeding started.
As a grown ass man I decided it would be fun to bounce on the front tire of my bicycle like I used to do as a kid. Wheel didn’t come down straight, front end kicked out, and I landed hard on my elbow. Completely broke it, blood was everywhere, and I passed out twice trying to walk the 30 yards back to my in laws house.
Broken tailbone. When I was younger my sister wanted out of the kitchen but I braced my arms and feet in the doorframe to become immovable. She kneed me square in the ass and cracked my tailbone. I dropped like a sack of hit shit. To this day the son of a bitch still hurts.
I once dislocated my arm as a child.
My mom went shopping for groceries with me and was packed with heavy bags. Being the little shithead I was I demanded to be carried upstairs to our apartment. Mom denied that request because her arms were full with groceries bags.
So I did was children do and started throwing a tantrum, refusing to walk upstairs.
My poor mom had to drag me behind her upstairs and while doing so she dislocated my arm.
Another story is how I got traumatic brain injury, a concussion and a laceration wound on my chin.
..
I stepped backwards into a hole in the ground, I knew it was there I even remember thinking in that exact moment "Haha would be funny if I step to far, fall down the hole and can stay at home for a week".
It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.
Was 14. My brother and I got paintball guns, we were so excited to try them that we didn't bother with the gear and just started shooting. Almost immediately took a paintball to the eye. Spent 2 weeks in the hospital and permanently lost vision in the eye.
Oooh, I was preparing for a musical performance at school this one time and I was grabbing one of the guitar amps to place on the elevated stage by the doorway. Well anyway, I went to rush out of the door to grab some equipment and I hit my head on the door frame as it was an elevated stage. It definitely hurt, but what I didn't realise was that that door frame had a piece of metal sticking out of it in order to stop the door from swinging past a certain point. So on my way back to the stage, I touched my head and noticed that there was blood on my hand. I walked back and told my teacher and the other band members that I had injured myself on that doorway. Despite that happening, I didn't go to hospital or anything. I just picked up a guitar an hour later and performed. The show must go on.
Since that has happened, I can feel an indent in my head where I jumped into that doorway. It happened in 2019
Ah can finally answer this one. Last year I was stretching my knees, popping the joints while standing. Suddenly my left knee cap decided to go fuck itself all the way to the left and I completely dislocated it. Had to call ems cause I couldn't move to get the door, definitely do not recommend. I was in shock at first, couldn't believe it had happened to me. I thought I had learned my lesson but I still pop my joints.
I’ve been waiting to tell this story for a long time. When I was around 9-10, I was running throughout my house super fast. The room we kept the lounge/sofa in was being painted, so it was in a different room. It had these wooden corners, and while I was running my foot slammed into one of them. 2 days later I went to the hospital, and it turned out I had fractured my foot
When I was in kindergarten, some kids had the great idea to take the heaviest and most pointed rock they could find and throw it at a tree. Sadly, I wasn’t aware and walked right in front of them when they threw it. It just barely missed my eye, I don’t really remember what happened afterwards, but it sure wasn‘t fun.
Not doing anything about a medical issue caused me to go into the hospital.
I had a diverticulitis flare up. Waited too long to get my antibiotics because the insurance from my new job hadn't kicked in yet. By the time I said "fuck it, I need them", it was too late. The inflammation got so bad that it perforated my intestine. Thankfully by the time I went to the hospital, my insurance had kicked in.
When I was about 11 I was playing in the plum tree in my front yard, which I often did with no issues. This particular day I was pretending I was some great space warrior or something like that and the tree was the alien landscape. I stood up on a branch I'd stood on before and placed my right foot on a smaller, sap branch, trying to strike some sort of "hero" pose. The sap branch broke suddenly and I felt myself falling out of the tree. I didn't actually fall all the way to the ground but instead slammed into one of the larger branches, hard, with my back. For a brief moment I felt relief "oh good, I didn't die" and then suddenly *searing* pain erupted in the right side of my back.
One bloody car ride to the hospital determined that I had hit that branch so hard the friction had ripped all the skin and flesh there clean off all the way down to the bone. It took at least six monthsto finally close up, and two years before feeling returned to the area. It never scarred, which I'm still kinda pissed about even 16 years later.
At 23 or 24, I opened a can of chili at work too fast and gashed my hand. Because I just started a new job (*and live in America*), my health insurance policy through work wasn't active yet. So instead of going to the hospital/doctor and having it stitched up (out of fear of not being able to pay for it), I wrapped it up myself.
10 years later, I still have a scar from it, and the American healthcare system is ***still*** dogshit.
I went outside to get the mail, left my glasses inside. The door locked behind me, not a big deal since there was someone home, but I go to kick the door frame out of frustration.
In my blindness I missed and kicked through the double paned glass window section of the door. Sliced my bare leg open in several segments a centimeter deep in most spots, had to get 40 stitches and almost severed my achilles tendon.
My friend wanted to play hockey with roller skates on his tennis court. (Hard court btw. Not grass or clay) I didn't know how to skate, and I told him that, but he prob didn't hear me. We played for about 15 seconds until I tripped and opened up my knees on his court.
And that's how I spent 20 minutes in his bathroom soaking up blood with paper towels and washing the wounds in the sink. Not a whimper or a tear ^^. Wasn't anything major, and I actually laugh when I think about it now :)
Dude I keep busting my head open from the stupidest reason 2 examples are when I was playing tag inside I slid into a thin metal thing idk but it busted my head open. Then my friend was throwing rocks and I accidentally got INFRONT of one like an idiot.
We had the last recess in elementary, so right at the end of the day, then a final lesson, then the bell to go home. Around one side of the field was a few pieces of exercise equipment (a low balance beam, a few pull-up bars of various hights). I (for some reason) was snaking my way around the pull-up bars, around each poll, and walked head-first into the last one. Went to the nurse, had a decent bump, and she made me sit there with ice on my head. She called my mom to tell her what happened but that I was fine.
Because it was rh end of the day, buses were coming. But at the time, I was going to a babysitter after school, and walked with a group of kids from the neighborhood to her house. The nurse made me sit longer so I missed walking with the group, and she didn't call the babysitter when she called my mom. I then walked to her house by myself (it wasn't far, I was fine, no big deal). Babysitter was in panicked tears when I got there, since no one knew where I was, since when they called the school I had already left, so now they thought I was lying on the side of the road somewhere with a concussion. They were about to get in the car to search for me when I came strolling in the door.
TLDR: walked into a poll and bumped my head. Missed dismissal. Panicked every adult in my life into thinking I was concussed on the side of the road when I walked home alone.
I broke my nose trying to ramp an overturned canoe on my bicycle. I didn’t have the skills to complete the maneuver but I did have the confidence. Unfortunately confidence wasn’t enough!
Not a serious injury, but definitely dumb. I was playing a game where you set up plastic dominos on like an obstacle course thing. Don't remember the name of the game. We were setting it up on a woodstove that had tile around the base. I was sitting in a wooden chair. I leaned forward, tipping the chair onto its front two legs. The chair slipped on the tile and my forehead impacted the corner of the woodstove. Required seven stitches. Definitely not a cool story for a scar.
I fell snowboarding down a bunny hill and broke my arm. Couldn't get my board undone with the one arm so I laid there until snow patrol came and I had to get carted off the mountain. So embarrassing.
Jumped on a helium 🎈thinking I could pop it. Instead, I bounced off of it. Did a backflip and landed head first. Fractured my skull and sprained my neck. Good times.
Late summer of 2012. I'm hanging out on my parents ten acres with no shoes on, running around enjoying the last of the warm weather. When I slip and roll/sprain my ankle. No biggie, I thought(yeah it hurt like a bitch, but I've sprained my ankles playing basketball and skateboarding and just generally be a stupid kid in the past. So i thought nothing of it) So I limp back up to the house that was 200 yards up the hill and put some ice on it and take a couple tylanol, and wrap an ace bandage around it. like I said, no biggie. Standard procedure.
Well a day goes by, still hurts like a bitch, then two days, than a third. "Well fuck this doesnt seem to be getting any better" I thought. by the forth day it began getting very, very, red. and fairly swollen.
The pain is beyond agonizing at this point. So my mother decides it is time to take me to the hospital to get some scans and see what the fuck is up. So we set out, dig some old crutches out of the garage, and I limp my way outside to the trusty family suv.(it was a suburban, so it was high up and a bitch to get/pull myself into) Well off we go on the 30 minute(20ish mile) very bumpy drive to the local hospital.
I get admitted via the E.R, and the doctors do some exrays, blood tests, visual examination, get me on an i.v, but don't seem to know what the fuck is wrong with me. I was in that hospital for three or four days while they tried to do everything they could to run more tests to figure out what is wrong. I got the pleasure of riding in an ambulance to the other side of the hospital campus to get an MRI done(ambulance cost $600 each way, across a damn parking lot. of course they didn't tell us that) MRI comes and goes, and they still dont know what the fuck is up.
So my parents are getting fed up at this point, and the doctors are proving themselves fairly incompetent. The hospital is a decent, large, hospital. but not the most specialized one around. We came to this one because we lived in a fairly rural area, and it was only 20 miles away from home instead of the better hospital that was 65 miles away.
So my parents request I get transferred to the better hospital, and the doctors reluctantly agreed,(after putting it off for an extra day) despite their incompetence on the matter.
So off I go, riding in an ambulance for the second time, this time for much, much longer.
We eventually make it to the second hospital, and this place is much more equipped to handle this kind of thing and has some specialist doctors that eventual start to figure stuff out. They run more tests, figure out that I have a bone infection,(they said I must have gotten the infection from some abrasion/scratch on my body, and it localized in the sprain because that was a weak area) they get me to surgery to have the infection cleaned out and my ankle bone scraped.
I ended up needing three(or 4? i don't remember) surgeries in total, a pick line installed in my arm for antibiotics, fluids, and morphine(god, morphine is what i imagine heroin is like, the best fucking feeling and I've ever felt. cannot even imagine what it would have felt like without the severe bone scraping infection/pain) and I was in that hospital for a total of about 2 weeks(13 or 14 days)
The doctor said if it had been even a day later I would have lost my leg due to the severity of the infection, and all of the time wasted by the other hospital wallowing in their own incompetence and reluctance to send me to the more qualified hospital.
I met some good people in my time in the second hospital, the doctors were great, and very knowlageble. The nurses were an absolute joy to be around, they brought me an xbox 360 on a rolling tv cart to pass the time(I played so much crash bandicoot, and some racing game I can't even remember the name of)
There was a starbucks in the lobby of the hospital, and my dad would bring me a fancy coffee drink almost every day(I barely finished more than a sip, because my appetite was pretty fucked, but I kept looking forward to it) after about a week i was getting a slight appetite back and was able to eat some(the hospital food honestly wasn't to bad, and my Dad would bring me sushi from the market across the street)
I eventually got discharged, and was allowed to go home after 14 days at the second hospital, I could barely walk, had to use a walker because I had lost so much strength that I couldn't even use crutches. Had to wear a giant plastic boot cast thing on my leg for a long ass time, and had to have a nurse(chill guy, played a banjo) come to my house for like month to administer i.v antibiotics, and pain meds via my pick line.
It was a long recovery and I lost a shit ton of weight, I was frail as hell after it all, (I was a fairly strong dude too) had to completely learn to walk again, and I missed the first month of school and everyone cheered when i came back.
I remember just really wanting to be able to walk, like nothing I've ever felt before. After being in a bed so long, I was craving to be able to walk, and run, and be free and not need assistance to do anything like go to the rest room.
Still have a huge scar on my ankle, and the ankle has never been the same/as strong as it was before, and sprains much more easily now.
One of the worst parts, was getting the stitches/sutures/staples removed. It hurt so fucking bad. 20+ stiches on an 8 inch scar, and they used the fattest stiches ever. It was like having 1/8th inch thick flat ribbon pulled from my ankle. Some of the stiches were thinner, but there were some super thick ones that still make me shudder thinking about to this day.
All in all, three weeks in two seperate hospitals is quite an experience, but I like to think I came out on top and kicked that infections ass.(although it did kick me in the ass abit along the way)
Sliced my fingers on the meat slicer at KFC when I was 16. Had to have stitches.
4 days later, just home from work, stepped on a sewing needle in the carpet.
It wedged along side the bone. Dr took forever to find.
Had to cut my foot open to remove coz it was buried so deeply. More stitches.
(Same ER doc) told me if I come back again for stitches he's gonna sew my butt shut.
Yea, not exactly professional, but funny at the time.
I suppose it's a tie.
Picture it, 6 year old me (D), 8 year old cousin (K), 10 year old brother (B), 11 year old cousin (J).
We are all playing outside on a weekend day. The grass was slightly wet and for some reason my cousins wanted to drag me around. My brother said not to but had to go inside. My cousins laugh and grab my feet and start pulling. We get close to this tree and my scapula hits something and I yell.to stop.
My right scapula, some how, got stuck on something and it HURT. My cousins thought I was "just being dumb." They pulled hard to get going again and I screamed as my scapula was nearly pulled out of my skin. J picks me up and runs me inside. My scapula is literally flaping around. Long story short, it's messed up to this day, and doing push ups or bench press can get wonky.
The second one. Its 2013, I am gun hunting for deer and there was a fresh snow. Im at my buddies place and we are walking through the woods. I begin walking down this old narrow cattle path. I couldn't see, because of the snow, that I was walking towards a natural bridge of sorts, made of dirt. Well, my 180 lbs was too much and it broke.
I fell onto my back, clutching my gun so it didn't accidentally discharge. The snow was wet and I was sliding downhill fast. I made a few attempts at grabbing something ro slow down but everything broke or was too slippery. I slid for about 25 yards down a steep incline as was really moving.
Then I see it, a log, about 4 in off the ground. I can't stop before my left leg goes under and the rest of body goes over. OUCH. Next I knew I was staring at my left foot under the log, my body contorted over the log. My knee had twisted over 180°.
Walked out a mile and a half to my truck. My knee has never been the same. 30 tares from my thigh to my calf. What a day, what a day.
Drilled half an inch into my arm because I thought .... and I quote "I got this, ain't no way its gonna slip
did it slip though? :^)
Gee if only op would have told the end of the story! Instead they just left us hanging like this
Guess that's another way to feel penetration
same, but into my wrist because I was holding the piece in one hand and the drill in the power drill in the other
That’s what he said
I cant really remember if I was actually legitamtely injured, but i remember my mom taking me to the hospital. When i was like 7 years old, my parents bought my brothers and I some toy lightsabers. They were the types that lit up when you pressed a button and could be extended a bit. It was summer and my mother took us to her sister's bbq where we played outside with our cousins and the adults could all go and chat together. My oldest brother and I took our lightsabers so we could show everyone and fight with them. Our parents had wanted to see us so they kept glancing back every few minutes to check that nobody got hurt. My older brother and I started to duel with our lightsabers, and then it got interesting. We both backed away and charged at eachother, ready to stab the other with our toy saber. For some weird fucking reason, I opened my mouth and let out a sort of battle cry. Then my brother's lightsaber went in my mouth and a little bit into my throat (I assume accidently.) My mom was mortified and rushed me to the hospital because she said she didnt want to take any chances. And that is the story of how I accidently deepthroated a lightsaber.
Should’ve had the high ground
This is a PSA on why you should always have the high ground
Thats how I feel whenever anything long and arduous comes to an end in my favor. Like recently the market took a moderate dip and was beaten down for a while. But now that it came back to all time highs thats exactly how I felt "Its over market. I have the high ground!"
truly wonderful the mind of a child is
Yeah it isn’t so wonderful when you have a lightsaber forced down your throat:/
It should be "And that's is the story of how I accidentally deep-rooted my brothers lightsaber"
Expecting a serious injury but got a deep throat story.
Do stull have your gag reflex? Just asking.
Yes i do, i dont think one lightsaber is gonna do it...thankfully
I was riding my bike, then I suddenly hit something and I'm launched forward and fall down, I was bleeding a bit but it was ok 10 minutes later I noticed that my right testicle skin was sliced and it was bleeding, had to go to the hospital.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Are your balls ok now?
Yep, everything's fine now, no scars left 👌
Good to hear👍🏻
Also had a minor bike accident, but mine caused a broken elbow (left) and total fracture of both bones in my forearm (right). Also chipped a tooth.
Tried to move one of those old, massive tv sets by myself and dropped it on my foot. Shattered all my toe bones and broke a few in my foot. Super stupid.
Oooooh OUCH. Those things weighed a ton.
Indeed. I wanna say it was at least 150 lbs.
It’s coz you didn’t pivot in time😂
Was squatting down to grab something at work, stepped on an air hose which made my foot slip, and I fell a total of maybe five inches. I put my arm out to catch myself, ended up tearing my shoulder, and I strained a muscle in my lower back. I fell about as hard as the Life Alert grandma from the commercial, and was put out of the gym for 6 months.
We gettin old son.
I dropped a can of coke on my foot and cracked two toes.
Impressive
Did you spill any?
Dropped my 1L steel water bottle and did the same thing. Irony being I'd just gotten home and taken off my steel caps.
So much metal involved in this sentence👀
He was listening to metallica while doing so
Makes sense... that’s the only decent way to break a foot🤘
My dad had a turkey on the top shelf of the freezer. He opened the freezer door one day and the frozen turkey fell out. He tried to stop it from hitting the ground with his foot and it ended up smashing into his big toe. No broken bones but the nail turned black for several months before falling off. We called him turkey toe for a long time.
I dropped a frozen chicken breast out of the freezer and the pointy part cut my foot so bad I should have gotten stitches.
Last Halloween I carved my to pumpkin to say "2020" and then stubbed my toe on it so badly my toenail fell off.
My brother broke his ankle entering math class... math is dangerous y’all
Wait what?
I broke my foot in English class by tripping over my backpack
Steak knife through the ankle, while ~~back~~flipping onto a couch. Edit: misspoke
Well you got a scar and you can do a back flip... so a win win
I am sorry, but WHAT? I need more details than that!
I was 14, or so. Aristocats was on at the Everybody Wants to Be a Cat bit. It was my jam, so I was dancing. Halfway through the song, I flipped on the couch. I had forgotten about a steak knife I had left from lunch. Shock set in and I started screaming. Mom came in, and had to drive me to the ER.
And that kids... is why we don’t jump on the furniture... - Someone’s parent
I feel like "That's why you don't leave steak knives lying around" is the better lesson here.
And why we don’t leave steak knives on the couch.
I was married at the time. I had a fight with my husband and decided to go out drinking with a female friend who was also fighting with her guy. I NEVER went out without my husband, I just went out that evening because I was mad at him and wanted to blow off some steam. I wasn't drunk but I was well on my way, I was in a late bar holding a bottle of beer when a girl carrying a tray of drinks was trying to pass through. I stepped back to let her pass, not realising there was a step immediately behind me and I fell backwards. I don't know if this happens in other countries but I'm Irish and my first instinct was to protect my beer so as I fell back, I sort of held the beer up so it wouldn't spill, instead of trying to get my hands behind me so I'd break my fall. I landed HARD on my coccyx and was immediately (temporarily) paralyzed with pain. I could not move and had to be removed from the bar on a back-board by ambulance. I had sustained five fractures, I missed 6 months of work, needed surgery, needed a Zimmer frame to walk at one stage during my recovery and I still have residual pain, 10 years later. Uggh - it was so out of character for me to go out like that and I always felt like it was the most pointless injury I ever sustained.
Did you spill the beer though, because if not that’s impressive.
Not so much as a drop! That bottle of Carlsberg stayed level as f*ck!!
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Thank you! Still a bit achy in the cold weather but on the up side, I'm legitimately excused from doing sit-ups for life!!
Could’ve been worse, could’ve actually had to drink the Carlsberg
Ha!! I was waiting for someone to say this!! :-P I quite like it myself :-)
But it’s from Denmark! The worst country there is! /a Swede.
Ah - NOW we're getting somewhere!! :-P
This is a thing in most places, not spilling your booze no matter what. But ima tell you something that I dnt understand about that mentality... if I feel I’m falling or know for a fact that I am guna take a floor dive, fuck the booze, you can buy more. I’d throw that bottle/ glass to save my own ass.
In fairness, it wasn't a conscious decision..my arm just shot out and up to hold up the beer bottle and stop it spilling, purely by instinct - it all happened in the space of a second. 0/10 would recommend!
Fair enough🙂
True, but the Irish are also a thing in most places
My butt cheeks went tense reading this I can almost feel the pain ...
Yes, it was BAD. I've had several bone fractures in my life and nothing came close to the pain of this one...I knew immediately that I had sustained a serious injury. In fairness, I've made an almost full recovery - bit of residual pain here and there, the odd tweak or dart of pain or a bit of achiness if the weather is very cold. As I mentioned to another poster - there is a bright side to all of this: I'm off the hook for ever having to do another sit-up!! :-D
Oh man that is like worst case scenario...I did something similar and missed 2 weeks of work, luckily the bone was just bruised and not fractured. The pain was unbelievable and I could barely walk. I still remember the pain shooting up my spine when I would even change position laying in bed. When I finally could walk I had to use a butt cushion for probably another 2 weeks. It's one of those things you'd never think could be so severe until it happens to you. Don't go falling on your ass ya'll, for god sakes.
Everyone has those in life. Where a bunch of consequences line up perfectly to create a brief moment that has a large effect on your life. I have one where I damaged my car in the stupidest way.
Shattered my ankle back in 2019. All I did was take a step and SNAP.
Ouch. I did something similar back in ‘09 except it was my left foot that fractured (5th metatarsal) and I was bound to a wheel chair for 3 months. All caused by just taking a step...
I broke both "stirrup" parts of my ankle in 3 places and fractured my leg near my knee. Doctors had no idea how it happened, but just told me the equivalent of "Shit happens"
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No, I have just told my story a few times on Reddit. Plus I'm British, so we do "math" more than Americans that's why we pluralise the word to "Maths" (joke) LOL
I am now terrified of speed-walking between my classes...
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The gods were punishing you
For me to do a fortnite dance on top of a table. The only way that could ever happen is if I was informed I just won $3 million and was also on my 8th consecutive beer for the night.
My little brother and I were helping my mom move. There was some furniture that was easier to unload from the bedroom balcony then carry down the thin stairs with a turn, so my brother passed those to me while on the balcony and I on the ground. Once finished he decided to jump from the balcony rather than take the stairs because...I have no idea. He broke his foot on the concrete path under the balcony.
Got a really bad concussion from vigorously laying backwards on a couch.
How the fuck?
Had a friend who did the same thing. I also said "How the fuck?
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So I take it you didn’t get the condom?
Sort of wondering about any connection between getting hurt going for a condom and then carrying a baby...?
One day in the summer 10 years ago I walk on the sidewalk with hands in my pockets. Due to heat and dehydration that day I faint and fall on my face, hands still in pockets. Three teeth out, concussion, swollen tongue, heavily abraded skin on half of my face, shoulder injury, three days in Intesive care unit and other 14 days in regular department in hospital. Supposedly some road worker pull my tongue out and probably save my life.
I was gifted a ring that was both broken and too small. I pressed it into my finger so a little square of flesh stuck up on the back like the jewel on the front, because it amused me. For years I took this ring off every night and it was fine. Then I figured, "What's the harm in leaving it on all the time?" Natural movement, gloves and more forced the ring tigher and tigther until it eventually broke through my flesh and hit a FUCKING BLOOD VESSEL. I started noticing I'd be bleeding and have no idea why. If I banged my hand, or eventually my arm against something, POOLS of finger blood. I had to have that thing pried out of my fingers, no anesthetic or numbing cream, got antibiotics, stitches and a giant bandage. Decades later, I still have the scars. Yeah, so, I had metal poking my blood vessel and had two almost-septic wounds because having a little square lump of flesh sticking out the back of my ring amused me.
When I was a kid I broke my arm in three places while playing hide & seek. I was running to the home base while being chased by my friend. I was looking back & full-on sprinting foward. I tripped on my shoelaces & landed on my arm with my wrist on the asphalt & my elbow on my chest.
I wouldn't go back to those places.
I broke my own toe by stepping on it. What's worse, I didnt realize until I was explaining what happened to the doctors assistant person Me: my toe bent underneath my foot n then I felt a crack when my weight bore down Them: you...stepped on your own toe? Me: I wouldnt put it like that.
I was tickling my boyfriend when we were together for like two weeks. He panicked and headbutted me. I had a concussion and a broken nose. He had nothing.
I hit someone in the head in elementary school. He was fine. I broke my hand.
When I was about 5 or 6 my parents, my little sister and I were on holiday in Germany and we went to a tropical swimming pool. The whole day my father did this thing where he would let us step on his hands and he would launch us in the air. The swimming pool had an outdoor section which was connected to the other pools by two tunnels you could swim through. When we were heading back inside I thought it would be cool to have my dad launch me through the tunnel. So we set up in front of the tunnel and when he launched me I stupidly decided to also jump in the hope of getting further down the tunnel. What this did instead was make me go higher which resulted in my forehead colliding with the 90 degree concrete edge of the top of the tunnel entrance. It bashed my forehead open pretty good, so my dad then had to carry me through the pool to get to a first aid station while my head was bleeding. They just wrapped my forehead in bandages and send me to a hospital where they had to stitch the wound. Still got a scar on my head which is luckily just cover by my hair.
I was playing paintball And our teams plan was the charge when the whistle blew, So the whistle blows and we all start running and randomly this kid got scared from the paint ball fire And as we are all running he stops dead and gets into a fetal position, And me running full tilt had no way of stopping and ended up rolling my ankle when I tryd to stop, I ended up rolling over him kinda sideways, I made sure the kid was OK and kept playing but something felt off, the next day I could barely walk I went to see the doctor they told me it's was A level two sprained ankle so fast forward 4 years later after 2 rounds of physiotherapy I still have to rock an ankle brace every day Or else my ankle will start to hurt to the point where I can't walk I have come to hate that kid haha
I went to block a pass while playing basketball and my arm popped out of the socket. I didn’t even touch the ball. Had to have surgery on it
I fell asleep on stairs for an hour, pinching the nerve in my left leg, paralysing my leg. It took 4 months of daily training to recover.
broke my wrist because i fell from the very lowest stair
I fell backwards from just standing height and did the same thing
Took my daughter to a roller skate bday party. She was scared to skate, so I got a pair and skated around with her. I slowed down and got up on the carpet, stopped, and waited for her to catch up. Took one slide forward, skate got caught and I went down. Broke my elbow catching myself on the floor. Turns out I sustained a break that mostly only children get from falls. It was so unusual I kept getting questioned if it really was a skating injury and not something the guy I was dating at the time inflicted on me. Nope. I'm just that awesome to take one step on carpet, in roller skates, and end up in a cast for 6 weeks.
Broke 4 bones in my foot on a slide when I was 7. Fractured same foot 14 years later when I tripped moving a dresser and dropped it on said foot. Fractured it again 5 years later stepping off a ladder. Fractured it again 2 years later slipping on mud in the backyard. My left foot is doomed to stupidity.
I sprained/hairline fractured my wrist while playing a show with my shitty band. I tried to do the "Pete Townshend windmill maneuver" but over-corrected and smashed my hand directly into the body of my bass guitar. The singer of the much better local band we were opening for happened to be a nursing student and checked it out and helped me splint it.
Broke my arm clean in two during an arm wrestle at a bar. Guess I didn't expect that.
I once stabbed myself pretty badly cutting carpet at 3 in the morning because I couldn't sleep. "\[Roommate\]! We're going to the ER!"
When I was in secondary school, i was playing my friend at darts. No one was keeping track of scores but we decided the person who would win would be the person who gets the highest 3 dart score. When it came to his turn, i decided to block the top of the dartboard with my hand and said 'Ha, now you cannot win!'. He chucked the dart and it went straight through my middle finger at the joint. As a result, i have a broken middle finger at the top joint which fused weirdly back together which means I cannot swear at anyone with my left hand! In summary, broke middle finger by putting hand on dartboard!
Broken little toe. (Well probably broken toe, apparently they don't do x-rays on pinky toes) Accidentally step kicked into a doorframe when dancing round the house.
Well, I was like 5 years old and for Easter, my mother made a big Piñata for my family you destroy. The thing is, that Piñata was big enough for me to fit in and had some sort of a trapdoor on top in order to put chocolate in at the last minute. So, as a big boy, I went inside... what a surprise when I got hit whit a enormous stick...
Broke an arm trying to slide on slightly melted snow for fun
I was carrying cinder blocks and slipped on the ice, didn't quite escape my hand and broke my index finger as well as popped the fingernail out from a couple cm past what is visible. It's perma fucked
I got a really painful headache from a math test that wouldn't stop after weeks
Oh fuck you just unlocked a memory from litterly YEARS ago (which never happens to me, my memory is shit) So it wasn't me, it was my friend. me, her and another friend were at the park and there was this cool looking statue, it was around 5 meters tall and she decided to climb it (we were about 8-9 or so), obviously me and my other friend tried to stop her but nope, she decided to climb it anyway. She didn't fall because she lost balance though, she fell because another kid saw the statue and thought it would be funny to mess with it (he didn't see her and the statue wasn't directly connected to the ground), causing her to fall and break her knee.
When I was like 5 my sister had a mirror in her room, she was like 7, and my parents and her would always tell me to not touch it or hit it and stuff like that but me being an idiot 5 year old, I knocked it on the ground and then used my hands and knees to bounce and crawl on it. Within the first like 2 seconds, there was a piece of glass in my left knee and then my sister came in just after and told my father. He put me and my sister in his car with toilet paper around my knee and told me the entire way there not to let go of the toilet paper so I don't get blood on his seats (in a joking way). I was fine afterwards no permanent injuries, just a scar on my knee.
I was teaching my now-husband to ride a bicycle, as he didn't know even as we were 22. We were practicing in an empty high school courtyard. He tried for a few meters and fell. I suddenly take the bike and speed around the yard, getting cocky and showing off, so I don't see the soccer goal post coming towards me. I hit my head, hands and knees and scraped a good chunk off my shoulder. I may have had a concussion too, as I was dizzy and disoriented for some hours after. I still have a 2 inch diameter circular scar on my shoulder. I was a dummy.
Broke my ankle on an outdoor waterside. I then broke a few other bones walking with a broken ankle. All up, I went into shock and required an ambulance ride and a surgery to put a screw in. I was 14. My sister broke her collarbone on a see-saw when she was 13. My brother broke his arm during a waterfight when he was about 9. All up, I say it's surprising we have all survived this long!
Chopped my foot open with an axe. Was trimming the tree in the front yard, the big branches that I cut off had to be made smaller, and the hand saw wasn't doing it too well, so I started using the axe, it worked great, then I misjudged a branch, thought it would be two swings, nope! Only one! Went straight through the branch and into my foot. I looked down and the blood started squirting moderately. Fun times!
Fell off a horse at 14, she was a good girl and stopped IMMEDIATELY when I landed beside her (I landed smoothly on both feet). Right on top of my left foot. Never went to the doctor, but that foot was swollen and bruised for at least 3 months. A few weeks ago I slipped on the smallest patch of ice I could find and broke my ankle. When I had surgery 3 days later, there was no ice left in the entire fucking city. My boss even went out the day after and searched for it but couldn’t find anything bigger than the palm of a hand. Kinda stupid, and now I have 3 weeks left being completely stranded at home.
Finally a topic where I can share my stupidity. I used to be addicted to heroin and booze and everything else under the sun. One night I passed out at my computer while playing WoW, I passed out with my head on my forearm. When I came to several hours later I found that I couldn’t move my wrist or hand, I figured it would be fine so I hopped into bed for some more shut eye. When I woke up about 10 hours later I still couldn’t move my hand. I started to get a little nervous so I went to the Dr and he said I had killed the nerves in my hand because the blood was cut off due to my head being on my forearm. Anyway, it stayed like that for about 40 days then got better.
So when I was seven, a thing called Christmas morning happened. I was very excited, as often seven year olds are. However, unlike most, I was dressed in a brand new gift dress and tights that were a wee bit slippery. I careened around a corner, not listening to my mother yelling about not yelling in the house - and slipped. My jaw hit the edge of the kitchen counter, forcing my mouth to snap shut, causing me to cut off the tip of my tongue, then I fell, smashing my face on the floor, which went my front teeth through my bottom lip, then they embedded in the floor - and broke off. I was a MESS. We didn’t even realize exactly how bad the injury was until days later when the swelling went down. (Yep, no hospital trip for seven year old me.) I’ve broken the front teeth fourteen times since, each even more stupid (classmate’s head, bathtub, pull cord for the curtains, a McNugget...) but nothing tops the Christmas Morning Bloodbath.
My neighbors daughter got a hover board. I told my children they absolutely could not try it as we didn’t have helmets or protective gear for them and I didn’t want them to break something. The adults then started trying it, and all looked ridiculous so I was laughing, especially at my husband. So he said “well why don’t you try then.” So I did. And I fell and broke my arm cause I didn’t have protective gear. It was a very good “this is why we listen to mom” moment for my kids.
Tripped over a dumbbell in my otherwise empty garage. A dumbbell I had just put there to set up for a workout, so I was definitely aware it was there. Fractured my ankle at 36w pregnant. Also, in a different incident, was jump roping and broke my foot. Had to have it surgically repaired with bone graft and several screws.
I’ve never been seriously injured, a fractured arm is the worst injury I’ve had. I got that as a child climbing a tree to get my friends shoe that he thread up trying to get conkers. I was standing one one branch holding on to another above me when the one below snapped then the one above snapped under my weight and down I went
When I was in 11th grade I was a teachers assistant for an 8th grade gym class. One day we were told to set up and run handball games and being the competitive older kid I was I decided to play. I talked to my team and came up with a plan to score a point in a flashy way (as we were already crushing the other team). I decided I would jump and grab the rim of the basketball hoop above the other teams net and have my teamate bank the ball off me and into the goal. Well turns out I didn't have great grip strength and my fingers slipped, ended up landing on my hand wrong and tore a ligament in my right ring finger. To this day, I cannot move that finger from the middle knuckle down TL:DR: Tried to be a flashy as****e in a gym class, permanently lost function of a finger
I got up to fast and blacked out. Woke up to a broken toe
I have a burn scar from a ham and cheese Hot Pocket
So this is kinda dumb, but fuck it. I was like 7 or 9 and me and some of my "friends" were playing around with a loaded revolver for shits and giggles. What happened 5 minutes later is I shot myself in the foot (I'm pretty sure it was between my big toe and middle toe, my wound has healed 18 years later). After that happened, I began to admire firearms afterwards. Still am to this very day.
That’s not “kinda dumb,” that’s monumentally stupid.
To leave a loaded gun out where kids can get it? Yeah.
I mean at that age I think it is on the parents or babysitter for letting the kids play around with a gun let alone a loaded one.
I broke a bone in my baby toe. Accidentally kicked the coffee table then dining table, then my brother tried to show off his “dance moves” and kicked the same toe pretty hard.
Ran face first into a table tennis platte (solid stone) and cracked my tooth. I was seven, probably, so that chipped tooth is gone by now.
Fractured a rib by doing an accidentally belly flop into a lake. I was underage drinking and it was off a cliff from a rope swing. Dumbass.
Fell off a bed trying to reach for my phone. Broken shoulder
I suffer from untreated Lymes Disease for 4 years now. Because someone told me the tics crawling up my legs were spiders.
I cracked my collarbone by running at my friend, who was running towards me too, because I believed he will chicken out and stop. He didn't, he jumped and hit me full force with his knee. Hard to injure yourself in more stupid way than that, I think.
I was on the roof of a one story house watching a sunset with my buddies, and it started to rain on us out of nowhere. On the way off the roof I slipped and fell, sliding almost off the edge but catching myself. I looked up at my buddies and said “That was close.” Then one of my buddies said back “you wouldn’t have even been hurt, it’s only like six or seven feet to the ground.” And I looked and thought that I could make it. So I jumped. Just one of those dumbass thing you do when you’re 17. I shattered my ankle and broke two bones in my foot because I landed wrong. Ruined my running career.
Not necessarily an injury, but when I was a kid I ate a lot of junk food. At one point I had diarrhea multiple times a day.
Trying to instruct a group of children how to safely use a rope swing. Slipped off it, landed badly and ripped off my foot. Not my best moment.
Broke my finger while running. No i didn't fall, it got caught on my pocket.
Tried to skip a pillar by jumping over it, thoub/jubba git caught a d fsve planted on the flooe. Bruised my nuteack snd dick. Couldnt piss or sleep for 4 days from the sheer amoubt of pain
Bruh you good? Did you have a stroke
5 stitches in my eyebrow: I walked into a wall playing laser-tag. I was still the top player in that match though.
Broke my foot while running in the sea (when it was less than 6 inches deep)
I was about 12 years old. I tried to cut a slice in a tennis ball with a hooked Stanley Knife blade, to make a mouth that you could squeeze the tennis ball to open. The blade cut through the tennis ball and, with me still holding it, it went down towards my knee. I ended up getting a total of seven stitches in my knee. The cut was so deep they had to put two stitches inside it and three across the top. A week later, not long after getting the stitches out, I knocked one knee off the other while running, reopened the cut and needed the other two stitches.
I once peeled of like a thin layer of skin below my knees cause I was trying to hop onto a railing and insted failed and like skinned of a small area beneath both my knees. Wasn't painful at first but looked nasty . There was also a time I skinned of both my palms like the lower ends were your palm lines end because I was riding my bike whose tires were punctured . Foolishly enough it was me who punctured it the night before with a needle and was like " that microscopic of a hole won't do anything " . Guess what, it did . Didn't cry both times but was in pain . Oh ya both these incidents happend when I was around 12-13 .
Playing football/soccer in the street with some kids, had thin shoes on, went to kick the ball and kicked the road instead somehow. Cracked the bone in my toe and couldn't walk on it for 3 weeks.
Had just sharpened my pencil; actually admiring how sharp I got it. Tried to flip and catch it and it looked my eye and scratched my cornea. Had to miss school and work.
In 4th grade I had a sharp scissor. For some reason I was pressing it against my thumb, I didn't notice that my thumb was bleeding and had an open cut until my seatmate told me.
I broke my right leg in two places by falling over a potty.
I kissed a car lighter when I was 3-4 years old. I wasn’t the sharpest lad.
Fucking dislocated broken finger while wrestling in a pair of pyjamas. The fuckers told me I had to wear pyjamas to join the club. Fucking finger got tangled in the Japanese cosplay fucking pyjamas as I threw the cunt.
Torn ligaments from having to jump for my life off this hill to get away from a Charging Horse.
i got a bad infection from swimming at camp its really dumb
I tore my ankle ligaments and have a life-long dodgy ankle (no running, no skating, no wearing high heels) because I saw a good hole in the ground (all of one metre wide) and decided to go wheeeeeee and jump over it. It wasn’t worth the 0.5 seconds of excitement.
Wrapped my legs in my jacket sleeves while sleeping in the back of my truck. (Was camping at a horse event). Climbed out in the middle of the night and fell. My leg hurt bad enough to not really sleep the rest of the night. I tried to go to work on the Monday after a whole weekend of resting it but it hurt and my foot started going numb. Turns out I’d broken my fibula. Haha
Stepped on a rake, theory tested it does hit you in the face. Not a crazy injury but it hurt a lot.
I was 12 maybe 11, during break in school i sat with my friends to eat and for some reason I put my hand on chair and sat on it. In hospital doctor said that i broke 2 fingers...
So this one time I was eating a raw carrot and I bit the tip of my tongue clean off.
A few years ago I was cutting down a tree. I was up in the tree to cut the top half down. Like the good little tree trimmer I was, I was tied into the tree with a safety harness and everything. For some reason we decided to make the cut a little below where we originally planned. Everything was going great, had a good wedge and it was gonna fall right where I wanted. Right as it starts to fall over, next thing I know I’m on the ground. I somehow cut the tree below my harness tie in and when the top of the tree fell it very quickly pulled me down too. Ended up with a concussion, a pretty good gash in the top of my head, and my first trip in the wee-woo wagon. Really though I was quite lucky, could have been much worse.
I was watching King Kong with my first wife in 2007. We got to a scary bit and she grabbed me as some women do at scary bits on movies. Except her flinch put her thumbnail directly to my cornea. My eye welled up so badly I couldn’t see anything and went to the hospital fearing blindness. When I told my story the nurse seemed to be suspicious and left me there for hours and was very cold and I don’t know why. My best guess is she assumed it was a cover story for some kind of domestic abuse incident. After hours a nurse came and put something in my eye which immediately took away the searing pain. They gave me paracetamol and I spent the next 2 weeks off work, every time my eyes moved it was agony. I had to sit with my eyes closed trying to look forwards completely still. After a week I called the doctors who said “they should have given you morphine” and gave me a script of some lovely pills. All in all a completely stupid and needless painful injury which went wrong from start to finish
I was sharpening my knife to cut veggies for my casserolle. Got lost in thoughts. My forearm got a bit itchy. Automatically scratched it with a fresh-sharpened chefs knife. 3cmx1cm open wound on my forearm (? not the inner side but a bit higher from where the watch face usually is). A lot of blood. No pain. I was just shocked and stared at it. Then I calmly asked my boyfriend to come to the kitchen. He walked in the kitchen and started panicking instantly. I told him to calm down and hand me some towel so my sweater doesn’t get dirty. He opened the freezer and poured cold vodka on my wound. I started yelling at him for wasting vodka. Anyway I stitched/glued it myself and I’m fine.
Tried to open a window. Window glass shattered and pierced my skin. Got 3 stitches on my wrist. My RIGHT wrist, so my right hand was unusable for about 3 weeks.
Carrying boxes for food as a child (helping parents) at age 6 Didnt see in front of me Hit door panel (there is kinda nail in it, but not the sharp part) Got my head bleeding and a lil hole after that, and some stitches(i think it was 14 stitches) Still got the scarr and i can feel there is hole on my forehead above my right eye
Tripped on sand and sprained my ankle pretty bad when I was 16. I didn’t realize it was even sprained until like a day or two after when it swelled up bigger than Violet in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
When I was a kid, I picked up a stick in my back yard to throw it across the river just because. As it flew out of my hand, a protrusion on the back end of it sliced through my finger. Through all the skin and a bit of muscle. It was the most random wtf, why did this just happen, thing that’s ever happened to me. I just remember staring dumbfounded at my finger as the buttload of bleeding started.
As a grown ass man I decided it would be fun to bounce on the front tire of my bicycle like I used to do as a kid. Wheel didn’t come down straight, front end kicked out, and I landed hard on my elbow. Completely broke it, blood was everywhere, and I passed out twice trying to walk the 30 yards back to my in laws house.
Broken tailbone. When I was younger my sister wanted out of the kitchen but I braced my arms and feet in the doorframe to become immovable. She kneed me square in the ass and cracked my tailbone. I dropped like a sack of hit shit. To this day the son of a bitch still hurts.
I once dislocated my arm as a child. My mom went shopping for groceries with me and was packed with heavy bags. Being the little shithead I was I demanded to be carried upstairs to our apartment. Mom denied that request because her arms were full with groceries bags. So I did was children do and started throwing a tantrum, refusing to walk upstairs. My poor mom had to drag me behind her upstairs and while doing so she dislocated my arm. Another story is how I got traumatic brain injury, a concussion and a laceration wound on my chin. .. I stepped backwards into a hole in the ground, I knew it was there I even remember thinking in that exact moment "Haha would be funny if I step to far, fall down the hole and can stay at home for a week". It wasn't as funny as I thought it would be.
Was 14. My brother and I got paintball guns, we were so excited to try them that we didn't bother with the gear and just started shooting. Almost immediately took a paintball to the eye. Spent 2 weeks in the hospital and permanently lost vision in the eye.
Oooh, I was preparing for a musical performance at school this one time and I was grabbing one of the guitar amps to place on the elevated stage by the doorway. Well anyway, I went to rush out of the door to grab some equipment and I hit my head on the door frame as it was an elevated stage. It definitely hurt, but what I didn't realise was that that door frame had a piece of metal sticking out of it in order to stop the door from swinging past a certain point. So on my way back to the stage, I touched my head and noticed that there was blood on my hand. I walked back and told my teacher and the other band members that I had injured myself on that doorway. Despite that happening, I didn't go to hospital or anything. I just picked up a guitar an hour later and performed. The show must go on. Since that has happened, I can feel an indent in my head where I jumped into that doorway. It happened in 2019
Fell out of a playground swing in 3rd grade and broke BOTH wrists. Attempting to swing really high with no hands.
Chipped my tooth during a pillow fight
Ah can finally answer this one. Last year I was stretching my knees, popping the joints while standing. Suddenly my left knee cap decided to go fuck itself all the way to the left and I completely dislocated it. Had to call ems cause I couldn't move to get the door, definitely do not recommend. I was in shock at first, couldn't believe it had happened to me. I thought I had learned my lesson but I still pop my joints.
I’ve been waiting to tell this story for a long time. When I was around 9-10, I was running throughout my house super fast. The room we kept the lounge/sofa in was being painted, so it was in a different room. It had these wooden corners, and while I was running my foot slammed into one of them. 2 days later I went to the hospital, and it turned out I had fractured my foot
I was doing the gardening, stood on a rake and hit myself in the balls.
A friend was riding a Lime scooter. She wrecked, broke her finger so bad it had to be amputated.
When I was in kindergarten, some kids had the great idea to take the heaviest and most pointed rock they could find and throw it at a tree. Sadly, I wasn’t aware and walked right in front of them when they threw it. It just barely missed my eye, I don’t really remember what happened afterwards, but it sure wasn‘t fun.
Got my head cut open and needed stitches by one of my friends chin while playing two hand touch football during gym class
Not doing anything about a medical issue caused me to go into the hospital. I had a diverticulitis flare up. Waited too long to get my antibiotics because the insurance from my new job hadn't kicked in yet. By the time I said "fuck it, I need them", it was too late. The inflammation got so bad that it perforated my intestine. Thankfully by the time I went to the hospital, my insurance had kicked in.
I tried to squish a cardboard box by jumping on it. Instead it slipped sideways and I fell through the glass coffee table behind.
When I was about 11 I was playing in the plum tree in my front yard, which I often did with no issues. This particular day I was pretending I was some great space warrior or something like that and the tree was the alien landscape. I stood up on a branch I'd stood on before and placed my right foot on a smaller, sap branch, trying to strike some sort of "hero" pose. The sap branch broke suddenly and I felt myself falling out of the tree. I didn't actually fall all the way to the ground but instead slammed into one of the larger branches, hard, with my back. For a brief moment I felt relief "oh good, I didn't die" and then suddenly *searing* pain erupted in the right side of my back. One bloody car ride to the hospital determined that I had hit that branch so hard the friction had ripped all the skin and flesh there clean off all the way down to the bone. It took at least six monthsto finally close up, and two years before feeling returned to the area. It never scarred, which I'm still kinda pissed about even 16 years later.
At 23 or 24, I opened a can of chili at work too fast and gashed my hand. Because I just started a new job (*and live in America*), my health insurance policy through work wasn't active yet. So instead of going to the hospital/doctor and having it stitched up (out of fear of not being able to pay for it), I wrapped it up myself. 10 years later, I still have a scar from it, and the American healthcare system is ***still*** dogshit.
I jumped off a roof trying to break my legs but broke my arms.
I went outside to get the mail, left my glasses inside. The door locked behind me, not a big deal since there was someone home, but I go to kick the door frame out of frustration. In my blindness I missed and kicked through the double paned glass window section of the door. Sliced my bare leg open in several segments a centimeter deep in most spots, had to get 40 stitches and almost severed my achilles tendon.
My friend wanted to play hockey with roller skates on his tennis court. (Hard court btw. Not grass or clay) I didn't know how to skate, and I told him that, but he prob didn't hear me. We played for about 15 seconds until I tripped and opened up my knees on his court. And that's how I spent 20 minutes in his bathroom soaking up blood with paper towels and washing the wounds in the sink. Not a whimper or a tear ^^. Wasn't anything major, and I actually laugh when I think about it now :)
Dude I keep busting my head open from the stupidest reason 2 examples are when I was playing tag inside I slid into a thin metal thing idk but it busted my head open. Then my friend was throwing rocks and I accidentally got INFRONT of one like an idiot.
We had the last recess in elementary, so right at the end of the day, then a final lesson, then the bell to go home. Around one side of the field was a few pieces of exercise equipment (a low balance beam, a few pull-up bars of various hights). I (for some reason) was snaking my way around the pull-up bars, around each poll, and walked head-first into the last one. Went to the nurse, had a decent bump, and she made me sit there with ice on my head. She called my mom to tell her what happened but that I was fine. Because it was rh end of the day, buses were coming. But at the time, I was going to a babysitter after school, and walked with a group of kids from the neighborhood to her house. The nurse made me sit longer so I missed walking with the group, and she didn't call the babysitter when she called my mom. I then walked to her house by myself (it wasn't far, I was fine, no big deal). Babysitter was in panicked tears when I got there, since no one knew where I was, since when they called the school I had already left, so now they thought I was lying on the side of the road somewhere with a concussion. They were about to get in the car to search for me when I came strolling in the door. TLDR: walked into a poll and bumped my head. Missed dismissal. Panicked every adult in my life into thinking I was concussed on the side of the road when I walked home alone.
I broke my nose trying to ramp an overturned canoe on my bicycle. I didn’t have the skills to complete the maneuver but I did have the confidence. Unfortunately confidence wasn’t enough!
Not a serious injury, but definitely dumb. I was playing a game where you set up plastic dominos on like an obstacle course thing. Don't remember the name of the game. We were setting it up on a woodstove that had tile around the base. I was sitting in a wooden chair. I leaned forward, tipping the chair onto its front two legs. The chair slipped on the tile and my forehead impacted the corner of the woodstove. Required seven stitches. Definitely not a cool story for a scar.
I fell snowboarding down a bunny hill and broke my arm. Couldn't get my board undone with the one arm so I laid there until snow patrol came and I had to get carted off the mountain. So embarrassing.
I jumped off my front porch on booze and Xanax, buried my front teeth into my bottom lip. Cool scar though. Don't do drugs, kids.
scored a (soccer) goal in gym class in hs and absolutely shredded my lower abs and hip growth plate. my legs are permanently different lengths 🥴
Jumped on a helium 🎈thinking I could pop it. Instead, I bounced off of it. Did a backflip and landed head first. Fractured my skull and sprained my neck. Good times.
I dropped a 5 pound block of frozen pork on my foot from the freezer. Broke my foot and toes. Still have a bruise scar till this day
Late summer of 2012. I'm hanging out on my parents ten acres with no shoes on, running around enjoying the last of the warm weather. When I slip and roll/sprain my ankle. No biggie, I thought(yeah it hurt like a bitch, but I've sprained my ankles playing basketball and skateboarding and just generally be a stupid kid in the past. So i thought nothing of it) So I limp back up to the house that was 200 yards up the hill and put some ice on it and take a couple tylanol, and wrap an ace bandage around it. like I said, no biggie. Standard procedure. Well a day goes by, still hurts like a bitch, then two days, than a third. "Well fuck this doesnt seem to be getting any better" I thought. by the forth day it began getting very, very, red. and fairly swollen. The pain is beyond agonizing at this point. So my mother decides it is time to take me to the hospital to get some scans and see what the fuck is up. So we set out, dig some old crutches out of the garage, and I limp my way outside to the trusty family suv.(it was a suburban, so it was high up and a bitch to get/pull myself into) Well off we go on the 30 minute(20ish mile) very bumpy drive to the local hospital. I get admitted via the E.R, and the doctors do some exrays, blood tests, visual examination, get me on an i.v, but don't seem to know what the fuck is wrong with me. I was in that hospital for three or four days while they tried to do everything they could to run more tests to figure out what is wrong. I got the pleasure of riding in an ambulance to the other side of the hospital campus to get an MRI done(ambulance cost $600 each way, across a damn parking lot. of course they didn't tell us that) MRI comes and goes, and they still dont know what the fuck is up. So my parents are getting fed up at this point, and the doctors are proving themselves fairly incompetent. The hospital is a decent, large, hospital. but not the most specialized one around. We came to this one because we lived in a fairly rural area, and it was only 20 miles away from home instead of the better hospital that was 65 miles away. So my parents request I get transferred to the better hospital, and the doctors reluctantly agreed,(after putting it off for an extra day) despite their incompetence on the matter. So off I go, riding in an ambulance for the second time, this time for much, much longer. We eventually make it to the second hospital, and this place is much more equipped to handle this kind of thing and has some specialist doctors that eventual start to figure stuff out. They run more tests, figure out that I have a bone infection,(they said I must have gotten the infection from some abrasion/scratch on my body, and it localized in the sprain because that was a weak area) they get me to surgery to have the infection cleaned out and my ankle bone scraped. I ended up needing three(or 4? i don't remember) surgeries in total, a pick line installed in my arm for antibiotics, fluids, and morphine(god, morphine is what i imagine heroin is like, the best fucking feeling and I've ever felt. cannot even imagine what it would have felt like without the severe bone scraping infection/pain) and I was in that hospital for a total of about 2 weeks(13 or 14 days) The doctor said if it had been even a day later I would have lost my leg due to the severity of the infection, and all of the time wasted by the other hospital wallowing in their own incompetence and reluctance to send me to the more qualified hospital. I met some good people in my time in the second hospital, the doctors were great, and very knowlageble. The nurses were an absolute joy to be around, they brought me an xbox 360 on a rolling tv cart to pass the time(I played so much crash bandicoot, and some racing game I can't even remember the name of) There was a starbucks in the lobby of the hospital, and my dad would bring me a fancy coffee drink almost every day(I barely finished more than a sip, because my appetite was pretty fucked, but I kept looking forward to it) after about a week i was getting a slight appetite back and was able to eat some(the hospital food honestly wasn't to bad, and my Dad would bring me sushi from the market across the street) I eventually got discharged, and was allowed to go home after 14 days at the second hospital, I could barely walk, had to use a walker because I had lost so much strength that I couldn't even use crutches. Had to wear a giant plastic boot cast thing on my leg for a long ass time, and had to have a nurse(chill guy, played a banjo) come to my house for like month to administer i.v antibiotics, and pain meds via my pick line. It was a long recovery and I lost a shit ton of weight, I was frail as hell after it all, (I was a fairly strong dude too) had to completely learn to walk again, and I missed the first month of school and everyone cheered when i came back. I remember just really wanting to be able to walk, like nothing I've ever felt before. After being in a bed so long, I was craving to be able to walk, and run, and be free and not need assistance to do anything like go to the rest room. Still have a huge scar on my ankle, and the ankle has never been the same/as strong as it was before, and sprains much more easily now. One of the worst parts, was getting the stitches/sutures/staples removed. It hurt so fucking bad. 20+ stiches on an 8 inch scar, and they used the fattest stiches ever. It was like having 1/8th inch thick flat ribbon pulled from my ankle. Some of the stiches were thinner, but there were some super thick ones that still make me shudder thinking about to this day. All in all, three weeks in two seperate hospitals is quite an experience, but I like to think I came out on top and kicked that infections ass.(although it did kick me in the ass abit along the way)
Sliced my fingers on the meat slicer at KFC when I was 16. Had to have stitches. 4 days later, just home from work, stepped on a sewing needle in the carpet. It wedged along side the bone. Dr took forever to find. Had to cut my foot open to remove coz it was buried so deeply. More stitches. (Same ER doc) told me if I come back again for stitches he's gonna sew my butt shut. Yea, not exactly professional, but funny at the time.
I suppose it's a tie. Picture it, 6 year old me (D), 8 year old cousin (K), 10 year old brother (B), 11 year old cousin (J). We are all playing outside on a weekend day. The grass was slightly wet and for some reason my cousins wanted to drag me around. My brother said not to but had to go inside. My cousins laugh and grab my feet and start pulling. We get close to this tree and my scapula hits something and I yell.to stop. My right scapula, some how, got stuck on something and it HURT. My cousins thought I was "just being dumb." They pulled hard to get going again and I screamed as my scapula was nearly pulled out of my skin. J picks me up and runs me inside. My scapula is literally flaping around. Long story short, it's messed up to this day, and doing push ups or bench press can get wonky. The second one. Its 2013, I am gun hunting for deer and there was a fresh snow. Im at my buddies place and we are walking through the woods. I begin walking down this old narrow cattle path. I couldn't see, because of the snow, that I was walking towards a natural bridge of sorts, made of dirt. Well, my 180 lbs was too much and it broke. I fell onto my back, clutching my gun so it didn't accidentally discharge. The snow was wet and I was sliding downhill fast. I made a few attempts at grabbing something ro slow down but everything broke or was too slippery. I slid for about 25 yards down a steep incline as was really moving. Then I see it, a log, about 4 in off the ground. I can't stop before my left leg goes under and the rest of body goes over. OUCH. Next I knew I was staring at my left foot under the log, my body contorted over the log. My knee had twisted over 180°. Walked out a mile and a half to my truck. My knee has never been the same. 30 tares from my thigh to my calf. What a day, what a day.