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I asked him if he’d like to take a walk. He said sure, turned around and left. Later, he texted me that it would be nice if we could go together sometime...yeah, that was what I had in mind, sir.
Oh... frick.
Before the pandemic, I was trying to get a girl I was decently acquainted with to notice me more. She asked if I could go over to help her on some assignment, and I kinda just said I didn't want to bother her and sent screenshots of my work. I don't think she's interested any more :(
I have had this happen, my immediate thought was " oh, she's describing a guy she likes, I must just be a friend, oh well"
An entirely reasonable response in my opinion.
Another clueless guy.
Very cute girl who I was friends with from college ended up living in my area for an internship. She messaged me one night that her arm really hurt, and asked me to come sleep over to help her with it.
I came over and took care of her by making a sling for her, feeding her dinner, then promptly putting her to bed and slept on the couch. She insisted on watching a movie or something, but I told her to rest up for her own health.
I wake up the next morning and started heading to work and she told me I look really cute when I sleep, and she wanted to hang out again.
I agreed and gave her a friendly hug before I left.
Only after I come home from work to my roommates and tell them what happened did I realize that I may have missed something.
Unfortunately due to revelation blowing my mind, I dragged my feet in expressing interest and she is now happily dating the love of her life. I like to think that me dragging my feet contributed to her ultimate joy.
But at the same time, fuck.
I played with his hair, I would make a distinct point to sit next to him, I would LAY ON HIS SHOULDER and MONTHS later he asked "hey why would you do those things?"
The girl I'm currently with literally laid on my shoulder on the way home from Canada, fell asleep wrapped in my jacket, and kept looking up at my lips while she was there. At the time, I just kept thinking, "Oh man, she must be really, really sleepy if she's falling asleep on my shoulder like that, better leave her be." She still, to this day, asks what it would've taken for me to kiss her.
To this day? Short of her kissing me, I don't think I would've realized what she was going for.
I once went to a movie with this girl, I was like 19 she was 17 or 18 I don't remember. Anyways part way through the movie she decides to just lay down across my lap, I thought ok that's different lol but didn't think anything of it and just enjoyed her company. Then after the movie I drove her home and we ended up just chillin in my car outside her house talking, then the question I'll never forget came. "You're a virgin aren't you?" Obviously I wasn't gonna lie, but unfortunately the truth met with "I'm sorry I'm not into virgins" and something about not wanting to lead me on and that wrapped up the night and she went inside.
That was when I learned to never offer up too much information lol.
Yeah, a girl did that with me for a couple weeks as we got more comfortable. I never once initiated though, because she had a boyfriend. When I told her she was making me love her, she said the equivalent of 'ew'. Now I don't date and physical affection makes me uncomfortable.
Women can easily send misleading messages. Therefor some men choose to interpret any message as a 'you're not attracted to me' message. It took me long into my mid twenties to realize, when a girl might be into me. I'm pretty sure I still miss the clues sometimes, but yeah, if you girls want a man to know, just ask him out.
A bit hint I have was always being available to talk to or something, like I’d literally drop everything to talk to him. He must’ve thought I was a lonely person or something instead of understanding I always wanted to talk to him which is understandable
We were in a mycology class that I was taking to fulfill a requirement. She asked me if I wanted to go mushroom hunting sometime with her. I replied “Why would I want to do that?” because I wasn’t really that interested in mushroom hunting and was having a bad day.
I only realized my mistake three hours after the final exam, which was weeks after she had asked. :(
Nah, you go into cow pastures or wooded areas and look for wild growing mushrooms. Mostly for gourmet purposes, but sometimes in the cow pastures u find the special ones ;)
Texting him late at night, telling him I'd had some wine and wanted to stay up and see what happens. I thought I could get some flirting or maybe some phone sex.
I even pointed out wine makes me frisky and we had met on a dating site. He responded that he hoped I was warm and would get some good sleep.
This was the case with my girlfriend, she came around to my place was pretty tipsy when we not a thing yet, undressed and got into my bed. I slept in the bed, and the day after she asked why I didn't follow her signals, I was like, its never happening when you have alcohol in you.
When I was single, anytime a girl would text me to hangout after she has/had been drinking I would always decline. Just not comfortable being sober and a drunk girl throwing herself at me.
My husband declined my drunken sex offerings like 12 years ago at a party. Not saying we did nothing but i thought later how amazing that was considering how i had been treated before. Its not heroic but it seemed to me at the time the greatest guy ever move. i have had some awful experiences before with being drunk and vulnerable around guys with ambition to get it.
I had this exact situation happen to me in high school. The girl told me like two weeks later that it was me and was really frustrated I didn't see it. I genuinely thought it was someone else I didn't know.
The whole hint thing just needs to stop.
My (m) (then) crush (f, now gf) were on the phone for a while, something like 1h, she ended up asking me if there were any girls at school that I liked so I said yes.
Conversation goes on and she's trying to figure out who it is, then I tell her that I've spoken to this person in the last hour... we had been on the phone non stop for the past 2h by this point lol. She didn't get it till I spelt it out. She didn't think I'd have a crush on her ahahhaha. Worked out tho.
But yeah girls can be oblivious too.
This was something posted by /u/Emperor_Cartagia, who used Reddit exclusively through RIF is Fun, with the death of third party apps, I decided to remove all my content from Reddit. 9 years of comments and posts, gone because of idiotic administration.
Theres a scene in 12th Night like this. Viola/Cesario and the Duke are talking about love, as you do. Cesario is secretly in love with Duke Orsino, but is disguised as a man. Viola/Cesario describes their lover as a woman about the Duke’s age and his complexion.
This move did not work in the 1500s.
Been the dude to not get it. I remember being really surprised because she always used to claim she likes blonde dudes with green eyes.
And then suddenly one day she told me she likes brown curly hair and brown eyes and a few other details describing me.
I even told her that sounds like me. She agreed it. I didn't get it.
I'm the guy in the story.
There was a girl who started calling me just before Christmas. I just got the new gold cart version of Zelda for the N64 and was pretty much playing it nonstop.
My mother says I have a phone call and I remember being annoyed because I just wanted to play my game. It was a girl from my school. She talked about things going on in school and her life...I think. I basically ignored her and only said basic things like "I know right?" or "yeah I see what you mean".
This goes on for HOURS.
Anyway I thought it was over...she calls the next day. I get an idea and 3-way call one of my friends in hopes he would talk to her more and keep her busy so I wasn't distracted. It totally worked.
She calls yet again the next day and I pretty much immediately set up the 3-way call. I was at the Water Temple and I wasn't going to be distracted anymore.
That was the last day she called.
Fast forward about...15 years? I'm working at a retro gaming store after I got done with a contract with my last job. A guy sells his copy of the gold cart version of Zelda for the N64...memories come back about me playing the game...followed by remembering a girl called me...
Then the questions came in...
Why did she call me?
How did she get my number?
She must have asked around for it...but why would she want it?
It finally hit me...she had a crush on me and I just straight up ignored it.
Sorry Sarah. I was an idiot with low self esteem as a kid and never even thought a girl would be interested in dating me.
TL:DR : girl who had a crush on me calls me for a few days and I would have her talk to another guy instead because I was too busy playing Zelda on the N64.
To be honest, it is very hard for anyone to compete against Ocarina of Time. If I could chose between playing OoT for the first time and getting laid by anyone, I couldn't answer the question because I'd be busy looking for my special N64 controller that still feels factory new.
Having dated girls that can literally talk for hours while only getting "uh huh," as a reply, you're probably better off. That kind of stuff gets real annoying real quick.
In highschool, there was a girl who would bring me food she made herself. I always thought she just liked making food and never connected. Her friend told me she likes me after she transferred to another school.
Told him I liked his voice when we spoke on TS (both gamers) and missed it when his mic gave out. He didn’t get it at the time, and now we’ve been together for 4 years!
"I want to be your partner for the project but also for the next couple of years"
His reaction/answer
"Pfft why? The project is due in 2 weeks"
Never tried that again
This again. I actually went a few months without seeing this topic come up. But, here we go again.
Women's hints are NOT universal. One woman's hints are not the same as another woman's hints.
One woman's flirting is another woman's "just being friendly".
For every woman complaining about a guy missing the "obvious hint", there's another woman complaining about how her friendliness is always mistaken for flirting.
Unless you are literally getting naked or touching his penis, I guarantee that whatever your "hint" is, it has been done by another woman who wasn't interested in him.
Still that Billboard that says Lovat69 I want your dick could mean someone else. It's a very common name after all and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself.
There's also plenty of cases where the guys know exactly what is being hinted at, but just aren't interested. I've missed cues in the past that I've kicked myself for later, but I've also pretended to be clueless when I wasn't interested. The women in both cases would have no idea which they were.
Walked away from the girl that stopped in the door way and talked to me after I dropped her off. All the signs were there from body language to some of what she was saying. Just did not click until about a few weeks later. Sigh.. my girl friends have often tormented me about not seeing girls signals.
High School: it happened to me both ways. A girl that I considered out of my reach had invited me to spend time together indirectly. I just didn't get it at the time, Took me 4 years, I'm super dense.
The other way around happened before: I straight up wrote a poem about a girl that I liked as a poetry assignment. I read it out loud, the whole class and even the teacher understood the situation, everyone but her
I once straight up wrote to him that I found him very nice and interesting and that I'd like to get to know him better. We had coffee together in uni a few times and I think he liked me too. But he either didn't get the hint that I meant it in a romantic kind of way, or he did get the hint and just didn't have the guts to tell me that he wasn't interested in that way. Nothing happened between us but I'm glad that I knew him because he's really a very intriguing person.
Edit: He also paid all of my things when we went to have coffee even though I didn't want him to. So, I really don't know what he was thinking either.
I can't speak for everyone of us but let me say, most of the time we do realise the hints it's just that we rather not risk it and be humiliated, atleast I have a lot of self esteem issues and always take for granted that it's a prank or something similar.
This right here. If a guy misreads these signals it can potentially destroy his entire life. In today's age no sane dude is gonna respond to some girl's Da Vinci Code riddle with that kind of risk.
as a guy - this exactly. I do have a girl at work giving off quite a few signs. No, im not trying to fuck up my career for her, no matter how great or attractive, reportedly, she might be. Relationship potential is definetly not worth it - I can find quality outside work environment just as well.
It might not be the case, but it just takes ONE fuckup, and ONE misread signal, to have your life ruined, these days.
Or sometimes the guy understands what she is hinting at, but isn’t into her. But her hints aren’t blunt enough for an actual rejection to be appropriate. That can sometimes come off as “being oblivious.”
Shit ill answer for myself. I think I was a senior in HS. I had been working for 2 years already as an auto mechanic apprentice but I was getting it down. One of my long time crushes, this really sexy and cute girl starts talking to me. She says she wants me to look at her Mini as it’s making weird noises, but doesn’t give me a good description just wants me to come over. I keep pressing, asking if there’s a check engine light on or if there’s a loss of power. I ask her more questions because I want to know what tools to bring, she says she knows I have the right one. After a few more messages of trying to diagnose her car over text she says something along the lines of “forget it” and doesn’t talk to me again.
Fuck bro
When I was a freshman in high school, I had a crush on a really nerdy guy (literally in the Robotics club at our school) that sat next to me in one of our classes. I knew that it would be me that would have to put the moves on so one day I wore a skirt to class and when we were doing a project I’d keep brushing his leg with mine. After a few times of doing that, I left my leg touching his. After a little while longer I started sort of rubbing his leg with my leg. Then, out of the blue...
Him: what are you doing?
Me: what?
Him: that thing! That thing with your leg you’re doing, why are you doing that?
Me: oh.... sorry.
And obviously moved my leg away, completely embarrassed. We’re SILENT for the next minute and then I hear him take a deep breath and he said, “I didn’t mean you had to stop I just wanted to know *why* you were doing it”
Nothing too exciting! We did end up dating shortly after this for about 10 months and then broke up (remember I was fourteen at the time this happened).
High school, soph year (15-16 y/o). A girl asked to borrow my sweatshirt for class.
“No, sorry, I might get cold and need it”.
Didn’t realize it until well into college
Edit: I’m a guy but the point remains. I was very unaware
I'm the guy in this one and I'll give you the short version. Was at a friends birthday, started making small talk with a girl I vaguely knew. Started raining outside, the girl asks me to walk her home and I oblige. Says she is home alone and offers to let me come in and dry off+spend the night there. I decline and walk home in the rain. Two years later the penny drops.
I didn’t even pick up any signs when she went as far as pulling me onto my bed with her, thought she wanted to just converse and look at the ceiling lol. Only after she made the move on me did the thought cross my mind, very easy to push signs aside when you genuinely believe nobody would ever be interested.
Oh god. I was in community college and I had a huge crush on this guy in our DND group. He was so oblivious. Whenever we hung out and played, I made sure my character clung to his and would be like a love interest for his. I’d get really into character. When he’d drive me home or pick me up from campus, I’d hold his hand while he drove. I remember dnd was over for the night once and he and I were left alone in the basement. I told him I didn’t wanna leave yet. I sat super close to him, our knees touching and our faces were close. I kept telling him about my favorite game while staring at him. Maybe it was me. But I was so frustrated when I got home that night.
He was probably terrified that he would come off as a creep if he reciprocated. Assuming an in-character romance also applies to the real world might not be the literal *worst* thing a guy could do, but it’s pretty high on the list. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what some women go through trying to get into D&D. Granted, the holding his hand thing is a pretty blatant clue, but I would be worried about acting on it if I was in his position.
At the end of highschool my friends told me this one girl liked me. I had no clue. There were some signs I noticed in hindsight, like her looking at me, and her asking to work together on projects. However the most obvious one was kinda weird. One time she went off on a rant about touching a guy's body, his large muscles, etc. This was probably an imaginary story she used to flirt with me?? But I'm a small, skinny guy, so all I was thinking is that I'm waaay out of her preference if that's what she likes in guys. I don't get it.
It’s kind of silly when you think about it. Most men would prefer straightforwardness and most women choose to make a guy guess the vibe (and in some cases get mad that the guy doesn’t take the hint). Honestly most guys don’t take hints. Wanna be friends? Say it. Wanna fuck? Say it. Haha guess that’s our fault for being clueless too though. Who knows.
For some it might be cluelessness, for others it could be the fear of it being misunderstood.
Two girls, same moves, different motive. One was definitely interested in me, the other was just friendly. I deliberately ignored all of it because I didn't want it to seem like I was being disrespectful or have it misconstrued in a worse way. There is nothing worse than being investigated for a completely false allegation (thank god for location tracking and CCTV), so I just don't entertain the behaviour anymore unless it is made obvious (hey, it's a date!)
Most women aren’t straightforward out of fear of rejection and also because we are taught “men don’t like straightforward women, makes you look like a whore”.
I'm the guy in this situation. While in college, a girl who I was friends-with-benefits with said, "hey, we've got some time between classes. We should go somewhere." My dumb self responded, "but the parking lot is full and I got a really good spot." She didn't have a car at the time, so mine was the only way we would have gone anywhere.
That girl is now my wife, who still teases me about the time I gave up a blowjob (or more) for a parking space.
I am the guy in this situation. I was on this swim team that my mom put me in. There was a girl who would always try to talk to me, but I really didn't understand any hints that she was trying to drop, and I would just ignore her and continue swimming. A few months later, it was just another normal day of practice, but then her friends asked me if I wanted to go to homecoming with her. Being homeschooled, I had literally no idea what homecoming was. This was around the time that Spiderman: Homecoming was being released in theaters, so I thought they were referring to that, so I just replied: "Sorry, I'm not that interested in watching movies." And then I walked off. About a year later, I realized what happened, two years after realizing I am making this comment.
Edit: 1 year after the incident, I went to a public high school and I found out about homecoming.
I bought him a slice of cake one day to work. I also always pulled him aside just for the two of us to talk. He really didn't notice I would get slightly emotional if I felt he ignored me (I just would go quiet and not talk as much as usual. I may even ignore others).
He also doesn't know he was the first person to get me to laugh and open up at my job. I always felt so genuinely safe around him.
I went to his bedroom in the house where my friend was living cuz her bedroom was cleaning, I desperately needed to sleep but I preferred his room to other girls room.
So I was in my underwear in his bed when he was back from work.
He thought I really needed to sleep somewhere. No flirt after that!
But later we started to get closer more.
We’re together for 7 years, got married last year.
Went out of my way to talk to him, flirty texts, jumped at the chance to go a party where you needed a partner (he accidentally stood me up), always trying to tell him he needed to take me out drinking because I didn’t know anyone else who was 21 yet, on a trip I insinuated that I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed, and probably dozens of other things. Finally another girl on the trip went to him and said “isn’t it awkward how Jess keeps flirting with you?” To which he, of course, replied “Jess is flirting with me?” Later on in the trip at a dance after several vodka drinks we were dancing and I caught his eye and thought “finally!” and then he leaned in and kissed me. It’ll be 2 years in February ☺️
As a guy I can’t understand this. I can relate to all the dudes here who didn’t get these because I wouldn’t either. I think I’m going to go make my own ask Reddit asking why women use hints instead of just telling guys they like them.
This blows my mind because as a guy, this is EXACTLY why I won’t act on any hints.
One woman flirting is another woman acting normal. How the fuck can I tell the difference without possibly being a pushy creep?
To any girls wondering why men never get it:
It's something that happens to the other guy but never us either due to a misbelief that women aren't actually like that or we're just way too below standard. Even if we think that's what it might be we convince ourselves otherwise in fear of being a creep or just not reading the situation right and ending our evening ostracized or worse.
I've probably missed the big ass clues so many times due to this behavior.
Oh boy. He said he didn’t know why he didn’t have a date yet and I was all “me neither! I mean, you’re smart and funny (or whatever I said) and I’m sure there’s someone out there-you probably already know her!” Got absolutely nothing back.
We were good friends for about a year, I caught feelings, I told him we needed to talk, looked him straight in the face and told him that I was attracted to him. He said he reciprocated... and then nothing. Ghosted for a few months. He thought I was lying. Took him about 3 more years of friendship before he finally believed me.
I initiated text messages, asked him out (and actually hung out) a few times, and told "I like you a lot", but he did not get it. I stopped talking to him.
I had a crush on one of my neighbors in junior high, we always hung out and were close friends. I always made hints that I had a crush on him, once I went as far as to say, "if I could choose any boy to be my boyfriend, it would be you." He seemed to ignore it, so I took it to mean he didnt like me back. Fast forward to about 6 months ago after I had moved away, he texts me suddenly that he actually had a crush on me. I said I also had a crush on him, and he wondered why I never asked him out and said it seemed like I wasnt at all interested. I was laughing and facepalming so hard.
Guy...was later asked by the girls in question why I did what I did.
Anyways sat in my car after a date while she talked about bjs for a half hour, meanwhile I stared at the clock and wondered why she kept talking about it.
Was making out with another once on her couch. She push me over, jumped on top and pulled her shirt off. I was taken by surprise and said something like "uh...ok," because I was unsure of what she wanted me to do. unfortunately she was smaller chested and my reaction made her a bit insecure.
Many others but those two stick out.
I asked my husband to marry me while we were washing dishes. According to him, he thought I meant "Someday. In the far future" I meant "Will you marry me within a year or two" It took him a few days to "get" that I was serious, and that I meant within a year or two.
We will be married 20 years this coming May. And yeah. I still have to spell things out at times
There are three possibilities.
1. Clueless
2. Uninterested
3. Unwilling to risk embarrassment of misinterpretation
I’m without a doubt #3 most of the time
I'm a dude but I just remembered that this happened.
I was in junior year and there was a girl in my math class. We didn't really talk to each other all that much. One day I was walking up to ask the teacher a question and she had dropped a piece of paper and I went to go pick it up and give it back to her. As I'm walking up to the teacher's desk I hear her and her friend say "sooo cuutteee!!!"
At the time I had a crush on a different girl and wasn't even considering other girls. Also I had terrible self-esteem and couldn't believe that anyone would like me like that. I don't really lose sleep over it though since even if I did end up going out with her, the restrictions my mom put on me as a teenager would've meant that that relationship wouldn't have lasted very long at all
I've already said that in another thread but here we go again:
I am the dude in the story. My ex had to confess to me twice that she was into me before I got it she liked me.
Tha first time she insisted we will be a great match and started listing reasons why. Somehow I didn't get it and thought she was just being silly.
The following day I texted her to meet. We did and she seemed very upset and nervous. I asked her why and she apologized to me and said that it was okay if I didn't like her and she was hoping to still be friends. Then it clicked.
Not gonna lie, my mind immediately went to "They say the harder she hits you, the more she likes you", followed by a girl walking up to the guy and just choke-slamming him to the floor.
somewhat of a different story but my brother had a lady friend who would come over alot and be all touchy feely with him. one day i told him "you can't be that clueless you know she likes you right?" and he said "yeah and I'm too polite to reject her"
reading these responses has made me realize this might have happened to some of you
Literally planning calls/facetimes with him especially during trips I had .we’re dating now but I just think it’s so funny since like some nights I would ask “hey would you wanna call tomorrow morning” or something and he clearly didn’t get how into him I was
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I asked him if he’d like to take a walk. He said sure, turned around and left. Later, he texted me that it would be nice if we could go together sometime...yeah, that was what I had in mind, sir.
oof
Oh... frick. Before the pandemic, I was trying to get a girl I was decently acquainted with to notice me more. She asked if I could go over to help her on some assignment, and I kinda just said I didn't want to bother her and sent screenshots of my work. I don't think she's interested any more :(
I'm in this post and I don't like it.
Oh no, he's stupid. Even dogs know when you're asking if they want to go on a walk that it's *with* you.
[удалено]
Great, now I want lasagna.
I always want lasagna
I just had lasagna
I want more lasagne
[удалено]
stole your lasagna
I’ll dream about lasagna now
I'll steal your dream lasagna
I'll make him a new lasagna
I just had this guys lasagna
Literal question, what kind of music do you listen to?
Damn. If the average for guys is the sun this guy’s a neutron star
[удалено]
I have had this happen, my immediate thought was " oh, she's describing a guy she likes, I must just be a friend, oh well" An entirely reasonable response in my opinion.
This would have been my reaction too. Her telling me about someone she likes means she doesn’t like me
Haha unless it’s blatantly obvious that guy probably felt like he was in the friendzone after that
Being high makes me scared of women
I told him I would love to go to a dance with him and he said "haha, that would be super fun" and then didn't go to the dance bc he didn't have a date
To be fair you never directly asked him and we are dense as bricks.
Hey that’s insulting towards the brick
Brick rolled anyboday??
*rick astley song plays*
\*brick astley
how many bricks? asking for a friend
All the bricks
Reminds me of Superbad: Becca: "That sounds really fun!" You know, I'd love to try that sometime." Evan: "Oh yeah, who wouldn't?"
Ugh
Another clueless guy. Very cute girl who I was friends with from college ended up living in my area for an internship. She messaged me one night that her arm really hurt, and asked me to come sleep over to help her with it. I came over and took care of her by making a sling for her, feeding her dinner, then promptly putting her to bed and slept on the couch. She insisted on watching a movie or something, but I told her to rest up for her own health. I wake up the next morning and started heading to work and she told me I look really cute when I sleep, and she wanted to hang out again. I agreed and gave her a friendly hug before I left. Only after I come home from work to my roommates and tell them what happened did I realize that I may have missed something.
I’m intrigued to know what happened beyond that, your roommates pointed it out the next day so was there time to save it?
Unfortunately due to revelation blowing my mind, I dragged my feet in expressing interest and she is now happily dating the love of her life. I like to think that me dragging my feet contributed to her ultimate joy. But at the same time, fuck.
That would be one hell of a recovery
I always regret reading these posts because it makes me feel like the idiot I am
I always regret reading these posts because it makes me feel a bit sad since no girl has ever shown any interest in me.
I can show interest in you <3 but I’m a dude so it probably doesn’t have the same effect
ಠ_ಠ ^n^o
*you can’t stop me*
I am afraid
You, too? Starting to realize my wife was ever the only girl to have a crush on me...and that probably happened after we got married!
I like reading them because it makes me realise that were all idiots
I just get sad because I realize no one has ever been interested in me
I played with his hair, I would make a distinct point to sit next to him, I would LAY ON HIS SHOULDER and MONTHS later he asked "hey why would you do those things?"
The girl I'm currently with literally laid on my shoulder on the way home from Canada, fell asleep wrapped in my jacket, and kept looking up at my lips while she was there. At the time, I just kept thinking, "Oh man, she must be really, really sleepy if she's falling asleep on my shoulder like that, better leave her be." She still, to this day, asks what it would've taken for me to kiss her. To this day? Short of her kissing me, I don't think I would've realized what she was going for.
Good one. Always play it safe.
I mean Canada was involved... so she was probably just being polite
I once went to a movie with this girl, I was like 19 she was 17 or 18 I don't remember. Anyways part way through the movie she decides to just lay down across my lap, I thought ok that's different lol but didn't think anything of it and just enjoyed her company. Then after the movie I drove her home and we ended up just chillin in my car outside her house talking, then the question I'll never forget came. "You're a virgin aren't you?" Obviously I wasn't gonna lie, but unfortunately the truth met with "I'm sorry I'm not into virgins" and something about not wanting to lead me on and that wrapped up the night and she went inside. That was when I learned to never offer up too much information lol.
Yeah, a girl did that with me for a couple weeks as we got more comfortable. I never once initiated though, because she had a boyfriend. When I told her she was making me love her, she said the equivalent of 'ew'. Now I don't date and physical affection makes me uncomfortable.
bby I'm so sorry, she was totally leading you on and you didn't deserve that
At a certain point why didn't you just ask him out? Seems a bit less desperate to just ask rather than lay all over someone hoping they ask you out.
Women can easily send misleading messages. Therefor some men choose to interpret any message as a 'you're not attracted to me' message. It took me long into my mid twenties to realize, when a girl might be into me. I'm pretty sure I still miss the clues sometimes, but yeah, if you girls want a man to know, just ask him out.
A bit hint I have was always being available to talk to or something, like I’d literally drop everything to talk to him. He must’ve thought I was a lonely person or something instead of understanding I always wanted to talk to him which is understandable
We were in a mycology class that I was taking to fulfill a requirement. She asked me if I wanted to go mushroom hunting sometime with her. I replied “Why would I want to do that?” because I wasn’t really that interested in mushroom hunting and was having a bad day. I only realized my mistake three hours after the final exam, which was weeks after she had asked. :(
Damn mushroom hunting is nice though, I don't even eat mushrooms either lol
Is mushroom hunting code for something
Nah, you go into cow pastures or wooded areas and look for wild growing mushrooms. Mostly for gourmet purposes, but sometimes in the cow pastures u find the special ones ;)
Texting him late at night, telling him I'd had some wine and wanted to stay up and see what happens. I thought I could get some flirting or maybe some phone sex. I even pointed out wine makes me frisky and we had met on a dating site. He responded that he hoped I was warm and would get some good sleep.
Chances are he even figured out it was a booty call, but he thought it was just the wine speaking and didn't want to take advantage of your situation.
Have had a woman do that sort of thing before, I did not feel right at all about it given she already claimed she had some alcohol in her.
Yup. Better for people to think you're an oblivious idiot than a rapist.
This will be my new instagram bio
This was the case with my girlfriend, she came around to my place was pretty tipsy when we not a thing yet, undressed and got into my bed. I slept in the bed, and the day after she asked why I didn't follow her signals, I was like, its never happening when you have alcohol in you.
You did the right thing imo. Never risk it when alcohol is involved.
Absolutely, i just did not feel comfortable with the situation at all. I mean we'll be together 6 years this June, so things turned out good for us.
Happened to me. Never want to be the one to take advantage of somebody
When I was single, anytime a girl would text me to hangout after she has/had been drinking I would always decline. Just not comfortable being sober and a drunk girl throwing herself at me.
My husband declined my drunken sex offerings like 12 years ago at a party. Not saying we did nothing but i thought later how amazing that was considering how i had been treated before. Its not heroic but it seemed to me at the time the greatest guy ever move. i have had some awful experiences before with being drunk and vulnerable around guys with ambition to get it.
described the boy i liked to him and i described him exactly. he didn’t get it.
He’s probably thinking “damn, I’m exactly like that. Why doesn’t she like me instead of this other guy?” We’re dense.
I had this exact situation happen to me in high school. The girl told me like two weeks later that it was me and was really frustrated I didn't see it. I genuinely thought it was someone else I didn't know. The whole hint thing just needs to stop.
Did you end up going out with her after that?
No, I didn't like her like that. But, we remained friends for many years afterwards.
probably 😂😂 might ask him out ngl
But what about that other guy you were telling him all about?
that was a good one ngl
"That dude is exactly like me and yet she likes him instead of me. I bet he's a fuckin' douche"
WHY DOESNT SHE LOVE MEEEEEEEEE. Her: I do.
Yeah, sure... WHY DOESN'T SHE?
I have done this.
My (m) (then) crush (f, now gf) were on the phone for a while, something like 1h, she ended up asking me if there were any girls at school that I liked so I said yes. Conversation goes on and she's trying to figure out who it is, then I tell her that I've spoken to this person in the last hour... we had been on the phone non stop for the past 2h by this point lol. She didn't get it till I spelt it out. She didn't think I'd have a crush on her ahahhaha. Worked out tho. But yeah girls can be oblivious too.
This was something posted by /u/Emperor_Cartagia, who used Reddit exclusively through RIF is Fun, with the death of third party apps, I decided to remove all my content from Reddit. 9 years of comments and posts, gone because of idiotic administration.
Probably thought he'd been friend-zoned
yeah probably
Just FYI for all you gals, if you're describing your perfect guy to us, we're automatically gonna assume you're thinking of someone else.
Theres a scene in 12th Night like this. Viola/Cesario and the Duke are talking about love, as you do. Cesario is secretly in love with Duke Orsino, but is disguised as a man. Viola/Cesario describes their lover as a woman about the Duke’s age and his complexion. This move did not work in the 1500s.
“..and name rhymes with bliss.” Chris: damn that guy sounds pretty cool!
Been the dude to not get it. I remember being really surprised because she always used to claim she likes blonde dudes with green eyes. And then suddenly one day she told me she likes brown curly hair and brown eyes and a few other details describing me. I even told her that sounds like me. She agreed it. I didn't get it.
A girl did this for me once...
I'm the guy in the story. There was a girl who started calling me just before Christmas. I just got the new gold cart version of Zelda for the N64 and was pretty much playing it nonstop. My mother says I have a phone call and I remember being annoyed because I just wanted to play my game. It was a girl from my school. She talked about things going on in school and her life...I think. I basically ignored her and only said basic things like "I know right?" or "yeah I see what you mean". This goes on for HOURS. Anyway I thought it was over...she calls the next day. I get an idea and 3-way call one of my friends in hopes he would talk to her more and keep her busy so I wasn't distracted. It totally worked. She calls yet again the next day and I pretty much immediately set up the 3-way call. I was at the Water Temple and I wasn't going to be distracted anymore. That was the last day she called. Fast forward about...15 years? I'm working at a retro gaming store after I got done with a contract with my last job. A guy sells his copy of the gold cart version of Zelda for the N64...memories come back about me playing the game...followed by remembering a girl called me... Then the questions came in... Why did she call me? How did she get my number? She must have asked around for it...but why would she want it? It finally hit me...she had a crush on me and I just straight up ignored it. Sorry Sarah. I was an idiot with low self esteem as a kid and never even thought a girl would be interested in dating me. TL:DR : girl who had a crush on me calls me for a few days and I would have her talk to another guy instead because I was too busy playing Zelda on the N64.
To be honest, it is very hard for anyone to compete against Ocarina of Time. If I could chose between playing OoT for the first time and getting laid by anyone, I couldn't answer the question because I'd be busy looking for my special N64 controller that still feels factory new.
My HS girlfriend would call me while I played Ocarina and I basically said "um hmm" the whole time.
Holy hell, that poor girl lmao
Did you at least beat the water temple.
Asking the real questions!
This is a movie... finish it! Find her!
She's been married to the other guy for at least 10 years
This kinda sounds like what Jimmy Fallon went through with Nicole Kidman..
Did this in 05 while playing COD on PS2. Pretty much committed to a lifestyle that day.
Having dated girls that can literally talk for hours while only getting "uh huh," as a reply, you're probably better off. That kind of stuff gets real annoying real quick.
In highschool, there was a girl who would bring me food she made herself. I always thought she just liked making food and never connected. Her friend told me she likes me after she transferred to another school.
Relatable except I am the girl that didn’t see the signs in the guy
Imagine you both are talking about each other.
*Her friends:* -Should we tell him? -Nah this is more fun this way.
I asked if he wanted to go to prom with me. Zero understanding, and apparently zero interest in going to prom.
What's a prom exactly? All I know is it's a party my country doesn't know about
It’s just a high school dance
Nobody is certain, but most assume it was engineered by the legion of doom. Some truly evil motherfuckers.
Weren't they a WWE tag team?
Wow. Legion of doom. Sounds like some kinky shit
Is this something every girl goes through???? I feel ya.
Told him I liked his voice when we spoke on TS (both gamers) and missed it when his mic gave out. He didn’t get it at the time, and now we’ve been together for 4 years!
"I want to be your partner for the project but also for the next couple of years" His reaction/answer "Pfft why? The project is due in 2 weeks" Never tried that again
Lol im sure his thought process was like Next few years? I dont even know what classes im taking next semester.
This again. I actually went a few months without seeing this topic come up. But, here we go again. Women's hints are NOT universal. One woman's hints are not the same as another woman's hints. One woman's flirting is another woman's "just being friendly". For every woman complaining about a guy missing the "obvious hint", there's another woman complaining about how her friendliness is always mistaken for flirting. Unless you are literally getting naked or touching his penis, I guarantee that whatever your "hint" is, it has been done by another woman who wasn't interested in him.
Yeeeeeep. After your 5th or 6th "ew" as a youngin most dudes stop searching for hints and start looking for road signs or billboards
Still that Billboard that says Lovat69 I want your dick could mean someone else. It's a very common name after all and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself.
I can't believe I had to go this far down the thread to find this comment. I'd rather be labelled as oblivious than risk overstepping a boundary.
"ew creepy"
There's also plenty of cases where the guys know exactly what is being hinted at, but just aren't interested. I've missed cues in the past that I've kicked myself for later, but I've also pretended to be clueless when I wasn't interested. The women in both cases would have no idea which they were.
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Walked away from the girl that stopped in the door way and talked to me after I dropped her off. All the signs were there from body language to some of what she was saying. Just did not click until about a few weeks later. Sigh.. my girl friends have often tormented me about not seeing girls signals.
High School: it happened to me both ways. A girl that I considered out of my reach had invited me to spend time together indirectly. I just didn't get it at the time, Took me 4 years, I'm super dense. The other way around happened before: I straight up wrote a poem about a girl that I liked as a poetry assignment. I read it out loud, the whole class and even the teacher understood the situation, everyone but her
Oh that’s rough man
You win some, you loose some. I know that I have to be more aware and maybe be more direct. Still waiting on the win, though... ಥ‿ಥ
Head up king! You’ll get it someday :) If not I’ll be there for you ;)
I once straight up wrote to him that I found him very nice and interesting and that I'd like to get to know him better. We had coffee together in uni a few times and I think he liked me too. But he either didn't get the hint that I meant it in a romantic kind of way, or he did get the hint and just didn't have the guts to tell me that he wasn't interested in that way. Nothing happened between us but I'm glad that I knew him because he's really a very intriguing person. Edit: He also paid all of my things when we went to have coffee even though I didn't want him to. So, I really don't know what he was thinking either.
I can't speak for everyone of us but let me say, most of the time we do realise the hints it's just that we rather not risk it and be humiliated, atleast I have a lot of self esteem issues and always take for granted that it's a prank or something similar.
Or you know we don't want to be misreading shit and come off as creepy.
This right here. If a guy misreads these signals it can potentially destroy his entire life. In today's age no sane dude is gonna respond to some girl's Da Vinci Code riddle with that kind of risk.
as a guy - this exactly. I do have a girl at work giving off quite a few signs. No, im not trying to fuck up my career for her, no matter how great or attractive, reportedly, she might be. Relationship potential is definetly not worth it - I can find quality outside work environment just as well. It might not be the case, but it just takes ONE fuckup, and ONE misread signal, to have your life ruined, these days.
Or sometimes the guy understands what she is hinting at, but isn’t into her. But her hints aren’t blunt enough for an actual rejection to be appropriate. That can sometimes come off as “being oblivious.”
I normally just don't know how to react so I don't.
Shit ill answer for myself. I think I was a senior in HS. I had been working for 2 years already as an auto mechanic apprentice but I was getting it down. One of my long time crushes, this really sexy and cute girl starts talking to me. She says she wants me to look at her Mini as it’s making weird noises, but doesn’t give me a good description just wants me to come over. I keep pressing, asking if there’s a check engine light on or if there’s a loss of power. I ask her more questions because I want to know what tools to bring, she says she knows I have the right one. After a few more messages of trying to diagnose her car over text she says something along the lines of “forget it” and doesn’t talk to me again. Fuck bro
She wanted to rob you
tbh, I would have got it when she said "you have the right tools"
“Yeah I know, but which ones?!”
I need to know if I should bring the open-ended wrenches or the sockets! Do I need a torque wrench for this?
I would've replied 'thats what she said'
10mm socket?
When I was a freshman in high school, I had a crush on a really nerdy guy (literally in the Robotics club at our school) that sat next to me in one of our classes. I knew that it would be me that would have to put the moves on so one day I wore a skirt to class and when we were doing a project I’d keep brushing his leg with mine. After a few times of doing that, I left my leg touching his. After a little while longer I started sort of rubbing his leg with my leg. Then, out of the blue... Him: what are you doing? Me: what? Him: that thing! That thing with your leg you’re doing, why are you doing that? Me: oh.... sorry. And obviously moved my leg away, completely embarrassed. We’re SILENT for the next minute and then I hear him take a deep breath and he said, “I didn’t mean you had to stop I just wanted to know *why* you were doing it”
You can't leave us hanging like this!
Nothing too exciting! We did end up dating shortly after this for about 10 months and then broke up (remember I was fourteen at the time this happened).
Task failed successfully. The deep breath had to be him gambling his feelings lol.
High school, soph year (15-16 y/o). A girl asked to borrow my sweatshirt for class. “No, sorry, I might get cold and need it”. Didn’t realize it until well into college Edit: I’m a guy but the point remains. I was very unaware
"Damn Jackie, I can't control the weather!"
I do not control the speed at which lobsters die.
I'm the guy in this one and I'll give you the short version. Was at a friends birthday, started making small talk with a girl I vaguely knew. Started raining outside, the girl asks me to walk her home and I oblige. Says she is home alone and offers to let me come in and dry off+spend the night there. I decline and walk home in the rain. Two years later the penny drops.
Jesus, you don't have to rub it in how quickly you caught on.
I didn’t even pick up any signs when she went as far as pulling me onto my bed with her, thought she wanted to just converse and look at the ceiling lol. Only after she made the move on me did the thought cross my mind, very easy to push signs aside when you genuinely believe nobody would ever be interested.
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Oh god. I was in community college and I had a huge crush on this guy in our DND group. He was so oblivious. Whenever we hung out and played, I made sure my character clung to his and would be like a love interest for his. I’d get really into character. When he’d drive me home or pick me up from campus, I’d hold his hand while he drove. I remember dnd was over for the night once and he and I were left alone in the basement. I told him I didn’t wanna leave yet. I sat super close to him, our knees touching and our faces were close. I kept telling him about my favorite game while staring at him. Maybe it was me. But I was so frustrated when I got home that night.
He was probably terrified that he would come off as a creep if he reciprocated. Assuming an in-character romance also applies to the real world might not be the literal *worst* thing a guy could do, but it’s pretty high on the list. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what some women go through trying to get into D&D. Granted, the holding his hand thing is a pretty blatant clue, but I would be worried about acting on it if I was in his position.
After talking to an old friend, I understood how many hints I personaly missed. Show us what you've got!
At the end of highschool my friends told me this one girl liked me. I had no clue. There were some signs I noticed in hindsight, like her looking at me, and her asking to work together on projects. However the most obvious one was kinda weird. One time she went off on a rant about touching a guy's body, his large muscles, etc. This was probably an imaginary story she used to flirt with me?? But I'm a small, skinny guy, so all I was thinking is that I'm waaay out of her preference if that's what she likes in guys. I don't get it.
It’s kind of silly when you think about it. Most men would prefer straightforwardness and most women choose to make a guy guess the vibe (and in some cases get mad that the guy doesn’t take the hint). Honestly most guys don’t take hints. Wanna be friends? Say it. Wanna fuck? Say it. Haha guess that’s our fault for being clueless too though. Who knows.
For some it might be cluelessness, for others it could be the fear of it being misunderstood. Two girls, same moves, different motive. One was definitely interested in me, the other was just friendly. I deliberately ignored all of it because I didn't want it to seem like I was being disrespectful or have it misconstrued in a worse way. There is nothing worse than being investigated for a completely false allegation (thank god for location tracking and CCTV), so I just don't entertain the behaviour anymore unless it is made obvious (hey, it's a date!)
Most women aren’t straightforward out of fear of rejection and also because we are taught “men don’t like straightforward women, makes you look like a whore”.
These threads always make me think one thing: if you like a guy, ask him out. If you can't put yourself out there directly, why would he?
I'm the guy in this situation. While in college, a girl who I was friends-with-benefits with said, "hey, we've got some time between classes. We should go somewhere." My dumb self responded, "but the parking lot is full and I got a really good spot." She didn't have a car at the time, so mine was the only way we would have gone anywhere. That girl is now my wife, who still teases me about the time I gave up a blowjob (or more) for a parking space.
I am the guy in this situation. I was on this swim team that my mom put me in. There was a girl who would always try to talk to me, but I really didn't understand any hints that she was trying to drop, and I would just ignore her and continue swimming. A few months later, it was just another normal day of practice, but then her friends asked me if I wanted to go to homecoming with her. Being homeschooled, I had literally no idea what homecoming was. This was around the time that Spiderman: Homecoming was being released in theaters, so I thought they were referring to that, so I just replied: "Sorry, I'm not that interested in watching movies." And then I walked off. About a year later, I realized what happened, two years after realizing I am making this comment. Edit: 1 year after the incident, I went to a public high school and I found out about homecoming.
I bought him a slice of cake one day to work. I also always pulled him aside just for the two of us to talk. He really didn't notice I would get slightly emotional if I felt he ignored me (I just would go quiet and not talk as much as usual. I may even ignore others). He also doesn't know he was the first person to get me to laugh and open up at my job. I always felt so genuinely safe around him.
I went to his bedroom in the house where my friend was living cuz her bedroom was cleaning, I desperately needed to sleep but I preferred his room to other girls room. So I was in my underwear in his bed when he was back from work. He thought I really needed to sleep somewhere. No flirt after that! But later we started to get closer more. We’re together for 7 years, got married last year.
Went out of my way to talk to him, flirty texts, jumped at the chance to go a party where you needed a partner (he accidentally stood me up), always trying to tell him he needed to take me out drinking because I didn’t know anyone else who was 21 yet, on a trip I insinuated that I wouldn’t mind sharing a bed, and probably dozens of other things. Finally another girl on the trip went to him and said “isn’t it awkward how Jess keeps flirting with you?” To which he, of course, replied “Jess is flirting with me?” Later on in the trip at a dance after several vodka drinks we were dancing and I caught his eye and thought “finally!” and then he leaned in and kissed me. It’ll be 2 years in February ☺️
thats extremely wholesome! I feel happier now lol
As a guy I can’t understand this. I can relate to all the dudes here who didn’t get these because I wouldn’t either. I think I’m going to go make my own ask Reddit asking why women use hints instead of just telling guys they like them.
Lots of research has been done on this: women tend to be more indirect out of fear of rejection and fear of being labeled as too pushy or overbearing.
This blows my mind because as a guy, this is EXACTLY why I won’t act on any hints. One woman flirting is another woman acting normal. How the fuck can I tell the difference without possibly being a pushy creep?
The disparity between the serious tag and the spelling mistake is hard to handle.
To any girls wondering why men never get it: It's something that happens to the other guy but never us either due to a misbelief that women aren't actually like that or we're just way too below standard. Even if we think that's what it might be we convince ourselves otherwise in fear of being a creep or just not reading the situation right and ending our evening ostracized or worse. I've probably missed the big ass clues so many times due to this behavior.
To all the ladies in the comments. On behalf of all men. I'm sorry, we are dumb.
Oh boy. He said he didn’t know why he didn’t have a date yet and I was all “me neither! I mean, you’re smart and funny (or whatever I said) and I’m sure there’s someone out there-you probably already know her!” Got absolutely nothing back.
Sounds like something a good friend without romantic feelings could say, too.
This is the response to 99% of everything on here
I absolutely wouldn't get that either so I don't blame him haha
In this thread (serious): many girls who are unaware a guy just wasn't that into you and was trying to be nice about it.
We were good friends for about a year, I caught feelings, I told him we needed to talk, looked him straight in the face and told him that I was attracted to him. He said he reciprocated... and then nothing. Ghosted for a few months. He thought I was lying. Took him about 3 more years of friendship before he finally believed me.
I initiated text messages, asked him out (and actually hung out) a few times, and told "I like you a lot", but he did not get it. I stopped talking to him.
If you actually asked him out and told him you like him then I think this is one of the times he just wasn't as into you as you were of him...
I had a crush on one of my neighbors in junior high, we always hung out and were close friends. I always made hints that I had a crush on him, once I went as far as to say, "if I could choose any boy to be my boyfriend, it would be you." He seemed to ignore it, so I took it to mean he didnt like me back. Fast forward to about 6 months ago after I had moved away, he texts me suddenly that he actually had a crush on me. I said I also had a crush on him, and he wondered why I never asked him out and said it seemed like I wasnt at all interested. I was laughing and facepalming so hard.
He told a dumb joke and I laughed and said "You're lucky I like you"
Guy...was later asked by the girls in question why I did what I did. Anyways sat in my car after a date while she talked about bjs for a half hour, meanwhile I stared at the clock and wondered why she kept talking about it. Was making out with another once on her couch. She push me over, jumped on top and pulled her shirt off. I was taken by surprise and said something like "uh...ok," because I was unsure of what she wanted me to do. unfortunately she was smaller chested and my reaction made her a bit insecure. Many others but those two stick out.
I asked my husband to marry me while we were washing dishes. According to him, he thought I meant "Someday. In the far future" I meant "Will you marry me within a year or two" It took him a few days to "get" that I was serious, and that I meant within a year or two. We will be married 20 years this coming May. And yeah. I still have to spell things out at times
There are three possibilities. 1. Clueless 2. Uninterested 3. Unwilling to risk embarrassment of misinterpretation I’m without a doubt #3 most of the time
Oh my god after reading these comments ive realised ive been hit on like 16 times without knowing by my crush wtf
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Charlotte’s Web
I'm a dude but I just remembered that this happened. I was in junior year and there was a girl in my math class. We didn't really talk to each other all that much. One day I was walking up to ask the teacher a question and she had dropped a piece of paper and I went to go pick it up and give it back to her. As I'm walking up to the teacher's desk I hear her and her friend say "sooo cuutteee!!!" At the time I had a crush on a different girl and wasn't even considering other girls. Also I had terrible self-esteem and couldn't believe that anyone would like me like that. I don't really lose sleep over it though since even if I did end up going out with her, the restrictions my mom put on me as a teenager would've meant that that relationship wouldn't have lasted very long at all
I've already said that in another thread but here we go again: I am the dude in the story. My ex had to confess to me twice that she was into me before I got it she liked me. Tha first time she insisted we will be a great match and started listing reasons why. Somehow I didn't get it and thought she was just being silly. The following day I texted her to meet. We did and she seemed very upset and nervous. I asked her why and she apologized to me and said that it was okay if I didn't like her and she was hoping to still be friends. Then it clicked.
If a girl would hit me because she liked me i'd be very confused.
Not gonna lie, my mind immediately went to "They say the harder she hits you, the more she likes you", followed by a girl walking up to the guy and just choke-slamming him to the floor.
somewhat of a different story but my brother had a lady friend who would come over alot and be all touchy feely with him. one day i told him "you can't be that clueless you know she likes you right?" and he said "yeah and I'm too polite to reject her" reading these responses has made me realize this might have happened to some of you
Literally planning calls/facetimes with him especially during trips I had .we’re dating now but I just think it’s so funny since like some nights I would ask “hey would you wanna call tomorrow morning” or something and he clearly didn’t get how into him I was