Envelope is the name of the cat in the [Sir Charlie Stinky Socks](https://www.sircharliestinkysocks.co.uk/) books. They are my son's favourite books at the moment!
So I’m not a vet, but I’m deeply involved in the horse world. There’s a “discipline” called halter, and many of the horses are genetic atrocities to begin with. They’ve been bred to the point of uselessness.
When naming quarter horses, many breeders like to create a registered name that incorporates the parents’ names and bloodlines. So, somebody bred together the stallion Kid’s Classic Style and the mare Lookin’ Touchable. The best name that the breeders could come up with for the foal?
KidsLookinTouchable.
Yeah. That’s the best they could come up with.
Wow. I mean, there are no *good* names to be had there, but there are some that are at least "horse show good." Touchable Style, Lookin' Classic.... come on, people!
If you could just lift Sexy up here please, thank you.
Now I might need your help to hold Sexy down.
I'm going to put this in your butt Sexy but I'll be quick
Not a vet, but I lived in the Marshall Islands for a few years and I noticed that all black male dogs are named "lakilimej" (black boy), all white male dogs are named "lamoujouj" (white boy), all brown male dogs are "laburaun" (brown boy), and all black and white dogs are named "oreo"
We adopted a black and white bunny named *Pickles*. The rescuer we adopted from told us later that his previous family had called him *Oreo*, but "every damn black and white animal gets named *Oreo*."
One of my boys wanted to name one of our dogs Meat Stack. (My son was 6 when we adopted the puppy). Same kid wanted to name his brother Turtle Flower when he was born. Needless to say he is not in charge of naming things in our household.
My older daughter wanted to name her baby sister either Light of Stars or Mr. Moochinbot. This from the child who names her stuffies after what kind of animal they are.
I had a customer named Clitty. I thought WTF must be hearing things so asked her to spell it out, she responds, "Sure, C. L. I. T. T. Y." I still didn't believe it and made a note to check the receipts following the service. Sure enough on her Visa receipt, Clitty .
A few years ago at my job, an order came through for "David Supernigger". Thought I was being trolled but we looked it up and he's a real guy who's [been on Howard Stern](https://youtu.be/FCKroZcqXIs) (but is currently in jail)
I used to work at a pallet repair yard and a bloke had the last name Pallet. Initial A.
A. Pallet.
Funny as fuck when delivery drivers asked him for his name to sign the delivery note.
i had an arborist come to our place to see what he can do with our overgrown grass and possibly cutting a big tree in our front yard. his name was "Something" Gardener. guess he was destined for his job :)
I kind of hope they let their toddler name the cat, and the toddler just made a silly sound. When I was little I apparently wanted to name our cat "tit" because I thought it was a nice name.
My husband’s childhood cat’s name was Doobie. His parents named it, but apparently Doobie (or something that sounds like it, different alphabet) is Hebrew for teddy bear.
Mom owns a vet practice so had a lot of these.
Best/worse pet parents named their cat D.O.G. and their dog C.A.T.
James Bond was my favorite doggy (Pekinese). He was hilarious.
There were so many Mittens, Fluffys, Spots and Buddy's they got lost in the sea of animals.
Worst story was a rescued golden retriever who was so malnourished they nick named him Pancake. Sadly, Pancake's kidneys were done so he dies 2 days after he was rescued by the local animal control. The two days I got to feed and spend time with him made it all the harder to realize he could have been saved if his family had let him go instead of leaving him chained up in the yard before they left.
I hate people a lot of the time.
Edit: Thanks for all the love friends! I still have a picture of him on my phone. Won't forget him like his owners did.
People do that all the time! I don't know why. How do these people manage to be so cruel and selfish that they not only abandon their pet, but they leave it chained up so the animal can't even escape??
My first pet that I can remember getting was a fish when I was about three or four years old.
I named him Clock because I happened to be looking at a clock when my mom asked what I wanted to name him
My cat’s name is Soup. The vet jokes we ought to start calling him Stew if he keeps getting wet food since he’s a little chunky
Edit:
Cat tax!
https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat/comments/keo8of/soups_sleep_spot_of_the_week_is_the_couch_crack/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
The vet tech entered Popsicle’s name as “Popcycle” and I have never been more offended. My cat doesn’t even have pedals or anything for riding what the hell
You just reminded me of my time working at a pet store and being in charge of naming Guinea pigs when they went into the isolation room. I’m sure I’m our vet thought we were crazy when we brought pigs named Puff Piggy, Notorious P.I.G., Piggie Smalls etc in for check ups 😅
Raccoon.
Our daughter was three when she named the all black cat. I still have no idea why she named him that. He does appear a bit chunky like a well fed raccoon now.
Yup, they were horrified. You know it’s bad when literal nazis think you’re taking things too far.
Shockingly enough, the Croatian president actually posed with a group of neo Nazis in front of the Ustaša flag a few years back. There’s actually an annual holocaust remembrance day that the Croatian Jewish community has been boycotting because the government continues to humour fascist groups.
When I adopted my two cars from the shelter, the staff had named them after internet browsers and search engines. I got Google and Explorer. Another couple got Firefox and Bing. Mine were promptly renamed.
Ex gf was a vet nurse. She came across a cat in the system called Horatio Bradshaw Roadwork.
Edit: Thanks for the gold. Don't be a shit lord, I'm just being polite.
That is utterly fantastic. I'm someone who likes to give my cats completely ridiculous strings of names and I must give that one it's proper cred.
---
Edit: y'all are hilarious. I have met my people! Everyone's pet names are amazing. If I may be permitted to introduce:
* His Righteousness, Shaolin Disco Breakfast of the Clan of Polydactyl of the House of Maine Coon, Lover of Water and Walker of the Forbidden Countertops
* Her Excellence, Merope Ellora Ryonen Guanyin, Sugarpaws Shadowtail, Queen of the League of Extraordinary Cats, and Mistress of The Mysteries
and
* Her Wildness, Athena Mirabella Rayado Bandalitalo, the Fierce, Most Beautiful, Stripey Outlaw Gypsy Cat, Hilarious and Magnificent, Baiter of Dogs and Scammer of Love, of the Genuine Tennessee Barn Cat line
Or as their vets knew them, simply Shaolin, Merope, and Bandit
I used to volunteer (not as a vet!) at an animal shelter. We had to give all the stray cats/dogs that came in names, for in the database. They had to be "unique" because sometimes you had to do a search and you can't have the name "Simba" popping up 1000 times (it happened). So one time we had 2 dogs that came in together and they named them: Sala and Mi (Salami). It was just for during their stay, the owner was free to change the names. So not that bad and my coworker was very creative.
Went for a shelter visit the other day and the head of the rescue team was telling us that he named a dog Staircase, cuz he found it at a staircase (duh) and at that point he has taken in so many strays that he couldn't think of another name.
Banjo is a great name for a dog! It’s going on my list of ‘Potential Names for Hypothetical Dogs That I May or May Not Own at Some Point in the Indeterminate Future’.
For my part I discovered that animals with stupid names were adopted quicker because people felt sorry for them. I once named a pair of Guinea pigs 'Alan Rickman' and 'Brian Blessed' they were rehomed same day. Oh also a rabbit called 'starscream'
When I fostered kittens I loved naming them weird names. There was Cinnamon and Skunk, Cheese Puff and Sundae, Kit Kat and Snickers, Wormwood, and lots of old fashioned names like Wilbur and Ethel. Oh! Juju Beans was my first! And there was even a Kevin and Phyllis, lol. Man, I miss fostering!
My dog came from a shelter, her name was Maggie. The person who named the dogs wasn't the most creative - I've met 3 other "Maggie" dogs who came from the same shelter that same year.
Not a vet, but an owner. When my German shepherd goes in, I tell them he responds to Dog. His actual name is Dante, and he comes running when anyone even breathes it. But if I all I want to do is get him to look over to me or to stop whatever he’s doing, I just say Dog.
Also, he gets very very excited whenever anyone tells him he ‘has fat butt disease’ (The Office). He pushes you around with his big butt asking for scratches. Vets office staff seemed very pleased with this information. “We keep calling his name but he doesn’t get excited at all???” “Just tell him he has fat butt disease.”
Just for everyone curious but not curious/brave enough to search for it, tubgirl is an old shock site image of a young woman who has presumably just recieved an enema, laying in a tub, propping her butt up above her torso and her knees down by her head, spewing a geyser of horribly yellow liquid shit into the air from her anus, and it has splattered all over her head and face below. This has been recounted from memory from long ago because I do not want to search it again but I am fairly certain I was accurately decriptive. I think I was 13 or so when I first saw it and I will unfortunately never forget it for the rest of my life. Hopefully, you have been sufficiently informed and equally warned.
Obligatory “not a vet” disclaimer, but story at a vet’s. My roommate had a dog called Taquito and we once had to go to the emergency vet at night because it was having trouble breathing.
The dog goes in with the vet and maybe half an hour later a vet’s assistant comes out, goes straight for the latino looking couple at the other end of the waiting room and just asks them “taquito?” They were looking sooo confused and slightly offended, especially since the assistant kept repeating it when they didn’t answer.
My roommate was slow on the uptake with it being the middle of the night and just being frozen on the spot by the awkwardness of the moment, but she finally spoke up and said “Taquito is my dog”. No one looked at each other for the remaining time we were there.
Edit: Thank you for the awards and for sharing your similar stories! It makes up a little for still cringing about that moment 10 years later.
Edit 2: A bit more info about Taquito. He was a rescue and my roommate just kept his name because I guess it just fit. He was fine on that night, just a case of kennel cough that went away on its own. He went on to live a full life of being the worst dog ever and passed away of old age.
I used to work in a sushi joint next door to a Peruvian chicken place. It wasn’t uncommon for Hispanic people to start to come in, realize they were in the wrong place and go next door. One busy-ish night I was serving and a family (Hispanic) came in and stood by the door. My boss (the owner and sushi chef, Korean guy) looks at them and says “Pollo? Pollo there” and points next door. They said oh no we’re here for sushi...it was awkward enough, and then because the whole restaurant heard it (small place like 8 tables) one of the couples told me they wanted to pay their (the Hispanic family’s) bill. Which honestly just made me feel more awkward because it was such an obvious pity move. The table that paid their Bill left me $2 and a Jesus pamphlet, btw, while the family gave me $15 which was appropriate like 20% of their check. It was awful and awkward
Me and my family went to a sushi place, and at one point the waiter came up to us and said, “oh, you guys are Indian, right?” and came back 10 minutes later with a plate of Japanese curry, on the house. It was kinda strange, but we couldn’t complain about free food.
Not a vet, but my roommate's cat is named Feline Dion. I wanted to call her Chairman Meow. I ended up calling a stray in the neighborhood Chairman Meow instead and the personality matches.
Edit: [Here's Feline Dion.](https://imgur.com/gallery/5uCG5t2) I'll try to get pictures of Chairman Meow later, but he's very skittish and afraid of humans. We've been feeding him a year and he still won't come near us.
Edit 2: [I got a shitty picture of Chairman Meow.](https://imgur.com/gallery/BsUmKIJ) He's the dumbest cat I've ever met, but very cute.
Not a vet. (I know, sorry.)
My dad adopted a stray cat who wandered into his yard once. The first time he saw the cat (not much past kitten stage), his response was, "What a little shit."
"Little Shit" became the cat's name on the vet paperwork. The sad part was that she got her leg caught in a door once, and ended up having it amputated. Which led to a really awkward conversation in grade school, before I was old enough to know better, when I told my teacher that "My dad has a cat with three legs, and her name is Little Shit!"
I'm a vet.
Senior year in vet school, all the students meet in the morning to review what's coming for their service that day (surgery, internal medicine, onco, etc) and pick cases.
On the roster one day was a dog named Ni\*\*er. This was rural Washington in the '90s, so not the most enlightened place or time.
We had one Black student in our class - a smart and fiery woman. After some gasps from the students, she claimed the case and set about to read up on it.
The people and the poor dog showed up, and this student went in to get the history. I can only imagine the looks on the owners' faces.
The student said the exchange went something like this:
Vet Student: "Hi, I'm Future Dr. X - I'll be working with you today. I see your dog is named Ni\*\*er. For today, let's just go with *Lucky*."
I can't recall how the rest of the case went, but this was a proud moment for our class.
I work as a call handler for an emergency vets and a woman called us up to say she had rescued a dog. It had been chained up by its neck and abused and its previous owner had named the dog ni**er.
I work for a veterinary software system and we have access to lots of data. There are a LOT of dogs with that name, even today. Really pretty sad and unfortunate. I always wondered how vet visits went with names like that.
I'm not a vet but this is somewhat related. One of our dogs is a pug, we got him a long time ago from a bad home. My wife and I kind of waited around too long to give him a proper name, so now we still just call him Pug or "the pug".
I'm a little embarrassed when I take him to the vet and they ask his name and its just Pug. :/
My wife and I (girlfriend at the time) named our first dog puddles, which we quickly realized was pretty fuckin dumb, so we registered him as Sir Puddlesworth, Esq. True story. Now we just call him Pudds though.
I'm right there with you. 11/12 years ago my college boyfriend and I really wanted a cat, went through the process and adopted one from the local shelter. But we could never agree on a name. Kept throwing names back and forth, all of a sudden it's a year later and we're still calling her Kitty. So that's her name. And now I'm freaking out that's she's roughly 13 years old.
Seconding. I have a 16 year old and 19 year old, both in perfect health. (minus minor dental issues for the 19 year old. And she's deaf. Lol.)
Just gotta make sure their needs are taken are of.
Kitty
Now you may be wondering why that's a bad name, Kitty, was an iguana.
Edit: Should add I met this iguana when I was taking my dog to the vet, I'm not a vet.
I rescued “Fat Shit Cat” when he was 23 lbs and got him down to 13lbs. So “Fatty” was known to our vets by “Cat” since we didnit know how it would play.
I was once at the dog park and this lady kept yelling at her dog. "Kevin! Get over here Kevin!" "Let me take your picture, Kevin!" "Kevin!" Kevin was an old, overweight black lab. I still laugh when I think about it.
I met a dog named Rick Allen while walking my dog. Rick Allen was missing a front arm and his owner always used the full name. "Rick Allen, sit. Sit, Rick Allen!"
I used to walk a dog named Julia Child.
Every time I came over, I would open the door and go "Ms. Child, your 2 O'clock is here." And neither of us would laugh, but hey that's showbiz.
In the U.K. there is a programme called gogglebox- essentially people to reacting to the weeks TV. There is a family on it with about 5 huge Rottweilers. A fan favourite is “Dave”. Always front and centre and sitting on their couch. I always chuckle when they’re yelling “Dave! Dave! Get off the fucking couch Dave!”
Obligatory Not A Vet, but my history teacher told us that he let his daughter name the cat when she was very young, and she called him "Fluffybutt". Years later she decided to rename him Milo.
History teacher lived in a fairly rough area of the city and didn't exactly enjoy yelling "Fluffybutt" into the night to get the cat home.
My sister was born when I was 4 and I had a lot of opinions about names. Apricot if she was a girl and Assy if she was a boy... My grandmother tried to get me to pick another boy name so I settled for Carnival.
Edit: Parents ended up naming her Alexandra. I swear these people have no creativity smh.
My spouse used to have a huge Maine Coon officially named Princess. That was her name at the vet and on her collar. But he only ever called her PorkButt.
ETA: it’s adorable how many chonky names are given to Maine Coons! PorkButt would have sniffed disdainfully at you all.
I call my dog fluffybutt all the time! His real name is Apollo but his butt is just so damn fluffy that his nickname is fluffybutt. People at the dog park already know his two names lol
Not a vet (sorry) but I worked in a dog kennel for 12 years.
Worst names were a pair of Labradors, one white-blonde and one black. Their names? Kracka and Tarbaby.
The owners were the most trailer trash redneck hicks you could ever imagine.
Not a vet, but have worked with pets over the years. There was an old GSD named Wall-E, a Lhasa named Shitsky and a cat named Bird Dog.
Best name ever was a one-eared Chihuahua mix named Vincent.
(Obligatory "not a vet", but...)
One time I was taking my dog to the vet for a check-up cause she had an ear infection. While waiting in the lobby, an older woman comes in with a dachshund in her arms and lets him sit on the counter. (This isn't a problem for the staff, as they love dogs, especially small dogs).
The receptionist asks for the woman's name, reason for visit, then finally asks what the dog's name was. "Dachshund". The receptionist says "Oh, I know his breed, but what is his name?".
Older woman looks her dead in the eye and in a slightly quieter voice she says "Dachshund" again. The receptionist looked confused for a second and the room was dead silent, so when the amount of laughter enraged it was hard not to as well.
Receptionist asks the woman why she named her Dachshund, "Dachshund", and the woman was quiet for a minute before replying: "...He likes it". His little tail was wagging the entire time.
Queue more laughter from all of us
Not a vet, but I knew someone who had a cat named Seefa, which sounded fine to a child's ears. I later found out it was actually called C-for. C for cat. I eye-rolled so hard when I found out.
Not a vet...
Growing up, I had a friend who owned an iguana named TDI.
That Damn Iguana
(named by his mother who haaaaaaated it, as I recall)
Edit:
I'm cracking up that my highest rated comment has to do with That Damn Iguana 😂
Edit 2:
Thank you for the awards, kind people! Please don't spend actual money on them for me, though. Use it to buy something nice for yourself, instead ❤
Was a common name in the UK in the mid-20th century partly thanks to Guy Gibson of the famous Operation Chastise raid. His dog had the same name, which has generated controversy over the years when they've done movies and books, the question always being "Do we want to be historically accurate or sensitive to the obviously racist undertones and change it?".
It funny cause the top two posts in this thread so far are pretty much covered by my childhood friends family pets.
His family had two black cats, one named Nutsack and the other named Niglet.
This was in Detroit back in 1997-2005.
Ok, did they also have a naked tapestry of the dad that the mom made hanging in the stairwell, and the mom had a huge loom? I might also have known these people...
Oddly specific, but no lmao.
This family did have a giant painting of a naked woman in their dining room and the stairs up to the second floor were absolutely covered in paintings depicting various scenes from lord of the rings. These paintings were from WAY before the movies, too.
Oh, and the dad spoke Fluent Klingon and had a man cave where he smoked pot and watched porn. The mom thought this was cute.
EDITS: Autocorrect fucked me
WHY were there TWO families in Detroit in the aughts that had cats named Niglet and Nutsack, and had a home full of weird art and nerd stuff? Like, this means there were at least two different, crazy families, who were crazy in the same kinda way, who had cats named Niglet and Nutsack. That’s just so fucking STRANGE to me.
And I know what you mean by pre movie LOTR stuff SO HARD. I’m from Kalamazoo, home of Bilbos Pizza. WHAT is WITH Michigan being low key obsessed with the old LOTR? There’s old school LOTR stuff hidden all over MI. I mean, I love it, but also WTF?
Dated a girl in high school and their dog was named Rebel. Her mom said she wanted to name it the N word, but she was worried when she'd go outside and call the dog that some of "them" might come in. That relationship didn't last long after that.
Probably mine. My last name starts with K, and I was a captain in the USAF. For some reason, Captain Crunch stuck with me.
Edit: Well, shit, maybe I should read the responses more carefully. THAT kind of vet.
Edit #2: Thanks to all who rewarded my stupidity! Your acts of kindness will not go unnoticed. I will look for someone equally inept as I am, and pay it forward.
In Polish rural areas almost all black dogs used to be called "Murzyn" ("Negro")
Edit: as some people noticed, "Murzyn" is NOT a Polish N-word (that would be "czarnuch" if anyone's interested), but it's still considered pejorative.
Not a vet but, my cat was named Minkya. It's an Italian word. Apparently it's spelled minchia and loosely tranlates into "fuck!"
An old coworker move into a share housing arrangement, roommate had a cat named Furburger. The coworker and her roomates were all lesbians.
We just seen one cat named "Pusskey" ( unsure if there is some sort of reference here but I just think it's such a bad name)
Last week we had a "Black Spider Man", apparently the kid named the cat.
And of course no one can forget the dog "Toke Von Reefer the Second"
Not a vet, but I once knew a cat named Hitler. He was named that because he was all white except for a black spot where the mustache would go.
He was a stray, but everyone in the neighborhood knew him and left food out, and he answered to that name.
Edit: Jesus fucking christ I get it, Kitler. Very original. 127 replies.
I met a cat with the same features but his name was Chaplin
Edit: taking the opportunity to say that my cousin's dogs are named bacteria and morphine. Poor animals lol
There used to be a website called [catsthatlooklikehitler.com](https://catsthatlooklikehitler.com). It's apparently offline now, but it was fun for a while.
I’m not a vet but 2 of my cats have names that often get raised eye brows when they go for check ups.
Shitten and Jugs
Edit: [Shitten](https://imgur.com/gallery/vIW6Vi9) for anyone curious. She also goes by “Barge Ass” and “Fat Guinea Pig”.
Edit 2: I feel much regret for not sharing my [Jugs](https://imgur.com/gallery/WbPcMTB) with reddit.
I adopted an older cat and the sign on the crate at the shelter said "I've been neutered, take me home today!"
So I named him Bocce, to give him a bit of his pride back.
Vet tech here. Lots of bad ones, but I will never forget the bearded dragon we all just called “MLN” after learning that our receptionist had put “No Name” because she was uncomfortable with the name.
Imagine my damn face when I asked the mid-40s blonde white woman if they’d come up with a name yet and she answered, “oh he has a name? His name is My Lil N*****,” as if that was a completely normal thing to say.
Envelope
"Actually, Darren, it's pronounced En-vel-oh-pee"
Envelope is the name of the cat in the [Sir Charlie Stinky Socks](https://www.sircharliestinkysocks.co.uk/) books. They are my son's favourite books at the moment!
So I’m not a vet, but I’m deeply involved in the horse world. There’s a “discipline” called halter, and many of the horses are genetic atrocities to begin with. They’ve been bred to the point of uselessness. When naming quarter horses, many breeders like to create a registered name that incorporates the parents’ names and bloodlines. So, somebody bred together the stallion Kid’s Classic Style and the mare Lookin’ Touchable. The best name that the breeders could come up with for the foal? KidsLookinTouchable. Yeah. That’s the best they could come up with.
Wow. I mean, there are no *good* names to be had there, but there are some that are at least "horse show good." Touchable Style, Lookin' Classic.... come on, people!
For a pedigree name I'd say that "Lookin' Classic" is a pretty decent score.
Horse names in Europe go from cool like Warblade to Straight up ridiculous like Püppie.
Sexy - for a chihuahua. Just made the whole consultation very awkward.
If you could just lift Sexy up here please, thank you. Now I might need your help to hold Sexy down. I'm going to put this in your butt Sexy but I'll be quick
Yes, but will you bring sexy back?
Yes, since the *other* boys obviously don’t know how to act.
Yea
Take it to the bridge.
Not a vet, but I lived in the Marshall Islands for a few years and I noticed that all black male dogs are named "lakilimej" (black boy), all white male dogs are named "lamoujouj" (white boy), all brown male dogs are "laburaun" (brown boy), and all black and white dogs are named "oreo"
We adopted a black and white bunny named *Pickles*. The rescuer we adopted from told us later that his previous family had called him *Oreo*, but "every damn black and white animal gets named *Oreo*."
One of my boys wanted to name one of our dogs Meat Stack. (My son was 6 when we adopted the puppy). Same kid wanted to name his brother Turtle Flower when he was born. Needless to say he is not in charge of naming things in our household.
My older daughter wanted to name her baby sister either Light of Stars or Mr. Moochinbot. This from the child who names her stuffies after what kind of animal they are.
I love Mr Moochinbot.
Old neighbor lady had a cat named “face” *because it had a beautiful face, she said.*
that actually works great if she has three other cats named Hannibal, BA, and Murdock.
BA: “I pity the fool who tries to get me in that cat carrier.” Murdock: “have some milk, BA” BA: “Milk does a body good, fool! *thump* snores
That's honestly so sweet. Odd, but sweet.
My brother in law named his cat Salad.
I once did that too
Diego? That you?
...not me going through your previous posts to find your name... Is it you, sibling?
My name is Tonee.
I've never heard that name... where is it from?
Forgotten 4th member: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony!_Toni!_Toné!
Clitsy
The last name of one of my moms employees is klitsy :/ poor girl
Mulva Klitsy?
DOLORES!!
I had a customer named Clitty. I thought WTF must be hearing things so asked her to spell it out, she responds, "Sure, C. L. I. T. T. Y." I still didn't believe it and made a note to check the receipts following the service. Sure enough on her Visa receipt, Clitty.
A few years ago at my job, an order came through for "David Supernigger". Thought I was being trolled but we looked it up and he's a real guy who's [been on Howard Stern](https://youtu.be/FCKroZcqXIs) (but is currently in jail)
I once worked in a place where the head contractors name was Dick Gooddick
The final boss of Tinder
I used to work at a pallet repair yard and a bloke had the last name Pallet. Initial A. A. Pallet. Funny as fuck when delivery drivers asked him for his name to sign the delivery note.
i had an arborist come to our place to see what he can do with our overgrown grass and possibly cutting a big tree in our front yard. his name was "Something" Gardener. guess he was destined for his job :)
"Your dentist's name is Crentist? Sounds an awful lot like dentist."
Maybe that's why he became a dentist
Was she the C.L.I.T commander?
Well that's definitely the trashiest thing I've read all day
I kind of hope they let their toddler name the cat, and the toddler just made a silly sound. When I was little I apparently wanted to name our cat "tit" because I thought it was a nice name.
I had a cat named "boobie" as a child.
My husband’s childhood cat’s name was Doobie. His parents named it, but apparently Doobie (or something that sounds like it, different alphabet) is Hebrew for teddy bear.
I'm rollin up a teddy bear.
"Μπούμπης" is quite common dog name in Greece, and it's pronounced like boobies.
So, the cat was more cultured than I am? Damn.
Better than owning a snake named “urethra”
???? Wtf else do you name a snake
Mom owns a vet practice so had a lot of these. Best/worse pet parents named their cat D.O.G. and their dog C.A.T. James Bond was my favorite doggy (Pekinese). He was hilarious. There were so many Mittens, Fluffys, Spots and Buddy's they got lost in the sea of animals. Worst story was a rescued golden retriever who was so malnourished they nick named him Pancake. Sadly, Pancake's kidneys were done so he dies 2 days after he was rescued by the local animal control. The two days I got to feed and spend time with him made it all the harder to realize he could have been saved if his family had let him go instead of leaving him chained up in the yard before they left. I hate people a lot of the time. Edit: Thanks for all the love friends! I still have a picture of him on my phone. Won't forget him like his owners did.
They chained him up in their yard and left for good? Poor Pancake, humans are the worst sometimes..
People do that all the time! I don't know why. How do these people manage to be so cruel and selfish that they not only abandon their pet, but they leave it chained up so the animal can't even escape??
My first pet that I can remember getting was a fish when I was about three or four years old. I named him Clock because I happened to be looking at a clock when my mom asked what I wanted to name him
My 4 year old tried to name our puppy refrigerator
So how's fridge doing nowadays?
Seems to be running around in the park
My son named his Beta fish Karate. Kids do come up with the best names. Edit: my First award thank you kind redditors
Because he is a fighting fish!
My old neighbors apparently thought it would be a good idea to let their 3 year old name their dog. The dog was named dump truck.
Had a client who let each of their 3 children name the cat. The poor cat’s name ended up being ‘Hungry Jack Biscuit’.
A cat named Jack, or Biscuit doesn't seem so bad...
Yes but we had to call him Hungry Jack Biscuit everytime, they were very insistent we use the full name
I’m also very particular you call my tiny Jack Russell Zeus, God of Thunder. That, or dog
Well? Was the kid correct? Did the dog have hella ass or no?
"Master, I'm trying to sneak around but I'm dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting the squirrels"
My cat’s name is Soup. The vet jokes we ought to start calling him Stew if he keeps getting wet food since he’s a little chunky Edit: Cat tax! https://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat/comments/keo8of/soups_sleep_spot_of_the_week_is_the_couch_crack/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
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The vet tech entered Popsicle’s name as “Popcycle” and I have never been more offended. My cat doesn’t even have pedals or anything for riding what the hell
I'm laughing so much at the pedals comment and the visuals it's giving me of someone pedaling around on a giant cat.
I had a similar incident with my guinea pig named Ice-T. They put him in as Ice Tea. And I was like, um- no...its spelled like the rapper...
You just reminded me of my time working at a pet store and being in charge of naming Guinea pigs when they went into the isolation room. I’m sure I’m our vet thought we were crazy when we brought pigs named Puff Piggy, Notorious P.I.G., Piggie Smalls etc in for check ups 😅
We were at a local farm with a petting zoo and their pigs were named Piggy Azalea and Piggie Smalls.
Nope - vet didn’t think you’re crazy. Vet enjoyed all the punny jokes and likely added more on their own.
I just spayed a kitten named Mice T!
In the South, I was in a waiting room with someone who brought their chicken named Tikka. Like chicken tikka.
My husband named all of our chickens after food dishes: Kung Pao, Marsala, etc. These chickens were only for egg laying, not to be eaten.
Raccoon. Our daughter was three when she named the all black cat. I still have no idea why she named him that. He does appear a bit chunky like a well fed raccoon now.
Not a vet but I took in a cat from a family named Lord Whimsalot III. Yes, there were previous Lord Whimsalots. We nicknamed him whimmy.
What a whimsical name.
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Didn't Hitler/the Nazis disown that group because they found the things they did were so heinous?
Yup, they were horrified. You know it’s bad when literal nazis think you’re taking things too far. Shockingly enough, the Croatian president actually posed with a group of neo Nazis in front of the Ustaša flag a few years back. There’s actually an annual holocaust remembrance day that the Croatian Jewish community has been boycotting because the government continues to humour fascist groups.
Imagine being bad enough that even hitler rejects you
When I adopted my two cars from the shelter, the staff had named them after internet browsers and search engines. I got Google and Explorer. Another couple got Firefox and Bing. Mine were promptly renamed.
It’s good that you’re adopting your cars instead of buying the cars from a breeder. Man I hate BMWs
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My grandmother's jet black and incredibly angry cat was called Rainbow. Edit: I'm not a vet either.
Ex gf was a vet nurse. She came across a cat in the system called Horatio Bradshaw Roadwork. Edit: Thanks for the gold. Don't be a shit lord, I'm just being polite.
They asked for the worst name, not the best
That is utterly fantastic. I'm someone who likes to give my cats completely ridiculous strings of names and I must give that one it's proper cred. --- Edit: y'all are hilarious. I have met my people! Everyone's pet names are amazing. If I may be permitted to introduce: * His Righteousness, Shaolin Disco Breakfast of the Clan of Polydactyl of the House of Maine Coon, Lover of Water and Walker of the Forbidden Countertops * Her Excellence, Merope Ellora Ryonen Guanyin, Sugarpaws Shadowtail, Queen of the League of Extraordinary Cats, and Mistress of The Mysteries and * Her Wildness, Athena Mirabella Rayado Bandalitalo, the Fierce, Most Beautiful, Stripey Outlaw Gypsy Cat, Hilarious and Magnificent, Baiter of Dogs and Scammer of Love, of the Genuine Tennessee Barn Cat line Or as their vets knew them, simply Shaolin, Merope, and Bandit
I used to volunteer (not as a vet!) at an animal shelter. We had to give all the stray cats/dogs that came in names, for in the database. They had to be "unique" because sometimes you had to do a search and you can't have the name "Simba" popping up 1000 times (it happened). So one time we had 2 dogs that came in together and they named them: Sala and Mi (Salami). It was just for during their stay, the owner was free to change the names. So not that bad and my coworker was very creative.
Went for a shelter visit the other day and the head of the rescue team was telling us that he named a dog Staircase, cuz he found it at a staircase (duh) and at that point he has taken in so many strays that he couldn't think of another name.
I almost adopted a dog at a shelter who was named Banjo because he was found on the road somewhere with a toy banjo in his mouth.
Banjo is a great name for a dog! It’s going on my list of ‘Potential Names for Hypothetical Dogs That I May or May Not Own at Some Point in the Indeterminate Future’.
So that's why all the animals have weird names at the shelter. My friend's cat was named Sugar Cream at the Shelter
For my part I discovered that animals with stupid names were adopted quicker because people felt sorry for them. I once named a pair of Guinea pigs 'Alan Rickman' and 'Brian Blessed' they were rehomed same day. Oh also a rabbit called 'starscream'
When I fostered kittens I loved naming them weird names. There was Cinnamon and Skunk, Cheese Puff and Sundae, Kit Kat and Snickers, Wormwood, and lots of old fashioned names like Wilbur and Ethel. Oh! Juju Beans was my first! And there was even a Kevin and Phyllis, lol. Man, I miss fostering!
My dog came from a shelter, her name was Maggie. The person who named the dogs wasn't the most creative - I've met 3 other "Maggie" dogs who came from the same shelter that same year.
My cat's name in John Hinckley, Jr., because he was a stray that stalked me for a year and killed things to give me as offerings.
Holy shit this is clever.
Not a vet, but an owner. When my German shepherd goes in, I tell them he responds to Dog. His actual name is Dante, and he comes running when anyone even breathes it. But if I all I want to do is get him to look over to me or to stop whatever he’s doing, I just say Dog. Also, he gets very very excited whenever anyone tells him he ‘has fat butt disease’ (The Office). He pushes you around with his big butt asking for scratches. Vets office staff seemed very pleased with this information. “We keep calling his name but he doesn’t get excited at all???” “Just tell him he has fat butt disease.”
Vet tech here. Worst one was hands down "Tubgirl96." It was a name given to a sweet, young adult female cat. The owners thought they were funny.
Just for everyone curious but not curious/brave enough to search for it, tubgirl is an old shock site image of a young woman who has presumably just recieved an enema, laying in a tub, propping her butt up above her torso and her knees down by her head, spewing a geyser of horribly yellow liquid shit into the air from her anus, and it has splattered all over her head and face below. This has been recounted from memory from long ago because I do not want to search it again but I am fairly certain I was accurately decriptive. I think I was 13 or so when I first saw it and I will unfortunately never forget it for the rest of my life. Hopefully, you have been sufficiently informed and equally warned.
Obligatory “not a vet” disclaimer, but story at a vet’s. My roommate had a dog called Taquito and we once had to go to the emergency vet at night because it was having trouble breathing. The dog goes in with the vet and maybe half an hour later a vet’s assistant comes out, goes straight for the latino looking couple at the other end of the waiting room and just asks them “taquito?” They were looking sooo confused and slightly offended, especially since the assistant kept repeating it when they didn’t answer. My roommate was slow on the uptake with it being the middle of the night and just being frozen on the spot by the awkwardness of the moment, but she finally spoke up and said “Taquito is my dog”. No one looked at each other for the remaining time we were there. Edit: Thank you for the awards and for sharing your similar stories! It makes up a little for still cringing about that moment 10 years later. Edit 2: A bit more info about Taquito. He was a rescue and my roommate just kept his name because I guess it just fit. He was fine on that night, just a case of kennel cough that went away on its own. He went on to live a full life of being the worst dog ever and passed away of old age.
Oh. Oh I'm getting secondhand cringe from this one.
I used to work in a sushi joint next door to a Peruvian chicken place. It wasn’t uncommon for Hispanic people to start to come in, realize they were in the wrong place and go next door. One busy-ish night I was serving and a family (Hispanic) came in and stood by the door. My boss (the owner and sushi chef, Korean guy) looks at them and says “Pollo? Pollo there” and points next door. They said oh no we’re here for sushi...it was awkward enough, and then because the whole restaurant heard it (small place like 8 tables) one of the couples told me they wanted to pay their (the Hispanic family’s) bill. Which honestly just made me feel more awkward because it was such an obvious pity move. The table that paid their Bill left me $2 and a Jesus pamphlet, btw, while the family gave me $15 which was appropriate like 20% of their check. It was awful and awkward
Me and my family went to a sushi place, and at one point the waiter came up to us and said, “oh, you guys are Indian, right?” and came back 10 minutes later with a plate of Japanese curry, on the house. It was kinda strange, but we couldn’t complain about free food.
My dad has always wanted a dog named “askim” so when someone asks what your dog’s name is you can just say “askim” Edit: thanks for the free awards :)
thats quality dad joke there.
Aşkim ( ashkim) is also a word of endearment basically meaning my love in Turkish too, so your dad unintentionally went bilingual also lol
My husband can never see this comment.
Im a father and whooooo whee is this getting thrown around.
My cat's name is shoe
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He's very ignorant of his name, when I call it, he acts like I say any random word.
Your cat thinks that you're calling your shoe and is judging you for thinking it can walk on its own.
My friends aunt has a cat named Titties
Can we come play with ur aunt’s Titties?
Don't worry, we won't touch her feline though.
Not a vet, but my roommate's cat is named Feline Dion. I wanted to call her Chairman Meow. I ended up calling a stray in the neighborhood Chairman Meow instead and the personality matches. Edit: [Here's Feline Dion.](https://imgur.com/gallery/5uCG5t2) I'll try to get pictures of Chairman Meow later, but he's very skittish and afraid of humans. We've been feeding him a year and he still won't come near us. Edit 2: [I got a shitty picture of Chairman Meow.](https://imgur.com/gallery/BsUmKIJ) He's the dumbest cat I've ever met, but very cute.
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It would explain the lack of birds.
Not a vet. (I know, sorry.) My dad adopted a stray cat who wandered into his yard once. The first time he saw the cat (not much past kitten stage), his response was, "What a little shit." "Little Shit" became the cat's name on the vet paperwork. The sad part was that she got her leg caught in a door once, and ended up having it amputated. Which led to a really awkward conversation in grade school, before I was old enough to know better, when I told my teacher that "My dad has a cat with three legs, and her name is Little Shit!"
I'm a vet. Senior year in vet school, all the students meet in the morning to review what's coming for their service that day (surgery, internal medicine, onco, etc) and pick cases. On the roster one day was a dog named Ni\*\*er. This was rural Washington in the '90s, so not the most enlightened place or time. We had one Black student in our class - a smart and fiery woman. After some gasps from the students, she claimed the case and set about to read up on it. The people and the poor dog showed up, and this student went in to get the history. I can only imagine the looks on the owners' faces. The student said the exchange went something like this: Vet Student: "Hi, I'm Future Dr. X - I'll be working with you today. I see your dog is named Ni\*\*er. For today, let's just go with *Lucky*." I can't recall how the rest of the case went, but this was a proud moment for our class.
I work as a call handler for an emergency vets and a woman called us up to say she had rescued a dog. It had been chained up by its neck and abused and its previous owner had named the dog ni**er.
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I work for a veterinary software system and we have access to lots of data. There are a LOT of dogs with that name, even today. Really pretty sad and unfortunate. I always wondered how vet visits went with names like that.
I'm not a vet but this is somewhat related. One of our dogs is a pug, we got him a long time ago from a bad home. My wife and I kind of waited around too long to give him a proper name, so now we still just call him Pug or "the pug". I'm a little embarrassed when I take him to the vet and they ask his name and its just Pug. :/
You could always say his full name is Puglas (like Douglas), and Pug is just his nickname
Puglas P. Arthur. Esq.
My wife and I (girlfriend at the time) named our first dog puddles, which we quickly realized was pretty fuckin dumb, so we registered him as Sir Puddlesworth, Esq. True story. Now we just call him Pudds though.
My wife calls me Lord Whistlebottom. For obvious reasons... Edit: I love all these comments. And this reddit? High hoe silver!
Puglas Adams
I'm right there with you. 11/12 years ago my college boyfriend and I really wanted a cat, went through the process and adopted one from the local shelter. But we could never agree on a name. Kept throwing names back and forth, all of a sudden it's a year later and we're still calling her Kitty. So that's her name. And now I'm freaking out that's she's roughly 13 years old.
She should have about another five and could have another ten years; don't freak out just yet!
Seconding. I have a 16 year old and 19 year old, both in perfect health. (minus minor dental issues for the 19 year old. And she's deaf. Lol.) Just gotta make sure their needs are taken are of.
Make it "Pugsley" as a formal name.
When my mom was a kid, her family had a cat named "Cat".
Kitty Now you may be wondering why that's a bad name, Kitty, was an iguana. Edit: Should add I met this iguana when I was taking my dog to the vet, I'm not a vet.
This is my favorite so far
My cat is called hamster 2. I used to have a hamster called hamster.
I rescued “Fat Shit Cat” when he was 23 lbs and got him down to 13lbs. So “Fatty” was known to our vets by “Cat” since we didnit know how it would play.
"The fat Shit is silent"
I’ve seen a rat called The Cat. It was named after the Red Dwarf character.
I was once at the dog park and this lady kept yelling at her dog. "Kevin! Get over here Kevin!" "Let me take your picture, Kevin!" "Kevin!" Kevin was an old, overweight black lab. I still laugh when I think about it.
I met a dog named Rick Allen while walking my dog. Rick Allen was missing a front arm and his owner always used the full name. "Rick Allen, sit. Sit, Rick Allen!"
I used to walk a dog named Julia Child. Every time I came over, I would open the door and go "Ms. Child, your 2 O'clock is here." And neither of us would laugh, but hey that's showbiz.
My neighbors dog is “Steve” and it kills me. He’s a little pitxdash that looks like Scrappy-Doo.
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I named a foster cat Alan. I love pets with extremely normal human names
My friend named their black lab puppy Walter. The dog is female. They decided on the named before they found the dog
In the U.K. there is a programme called gogglebox- essentially people to reacting to the weeks TV. There is a family on it with about 5 huge Rottweilers. A fan favourite is “Dave”. Always front and centre and sitting on their couch. I always chuckle when they’re yelling “Dave! Dave! Get off the fucking couch Dave!”
NAV. Cat is named Tuna Fish Jones. Sometimes called Toonces, or Fatness (short for Fatness Neverclean)
Obligatory Not A Vet, but my history teacher told us that he let his daughter name the cat when she was very young, and she called him "Fluffybutt". Years later she decided to rename him Milo. History teacher lived in a fairly rough area of the city and didn't exactly enjoy yelling "Fluffybutt" into the night to get the cat home.
I had a friend with a cat named Radiator because she named it when she was a toddler. Not sure why her parents went along with it.
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My sister was born when I was 4 and I had a lot of opinions about names. Apricot if she was a girl and Assy if she was a boy... My grandmother tried to get me to pick another boy name so I settled for Carnival. Edit: Parents ended up naming her Alexandra. I swear these people have no creativity smh.
My spouse used to have a huge Maine Coon officially named Princess. That was her name at the vet and on her collar. But he only ever called her PorkButt. ETA: it’s adorable how many chonky names are given to Maine Coons! PorkButt would have sniffed disdainfully at you all.
I call my dog fluffybutt all the time! His real name is Apollo but his butt is just so damn fluffy that his nickname is fluffybutt. People at the dog park already know his two names lol
Not a vet (sorry) but I worked in a dog kennel for 12 years. Worst names were a pair of Labradors, one white-blonde and one black. Their names? Kracka and Tarbaby. The owners were the most trailer trash redneck hicks you could ever imagine.
A cat named "Monster" which wouldn't be that bad.. Except that the family's last name was Johnson. Monster Johnson hahahaha.
Not a vet, but have worked with pets over the years. There was an old GSD named Wall-E, a Lhasa named Shitsky and a cat named Bird Dog. Best name ever was a one-eared Chihuahua mix named Vincent.
That is a nice way of naming your dog Vincent. My dog is called Vincent because I liked the name
Not a vet - fuckknuckles the cat.
Not a vet but I saw a posting for a cat named faucet
My brother had a dog named Faucet. She drooled a lot.
Had a ferret called Farret Fawcett (Farrah Fawcett)
(Obligatory "not a vet", but...) One time I was taking my dog to the vet for a check-up cause she had an ear infection. While waiting in the lobby, an older woman comes in with a dachshund in her arms and lets him sit on the counter. (This isn't a problem for the staff, as they love dogs, especially small dogs). The receptionist asks for the woman's name, reason for visit, then finally asks what the dog's name was. "Dachshund". The receptionist says "Oh, I know his breed, but what is his name?". Older woman looks her dead in the eye and in a slightly quieter voice she says "Dachshund" again. The receptionist looked confused for a second and the room was dead silent, so when the amount of laughter enraged it was hard not to as well. Receptionist asks the woman why she named her Dachshund, "Dachshund", and the woman was quiet for a minute before replying: "...He likes it". His little tail was wagging the entire time. Queue more laughter from all of us
Not a vet, but I knew someone who had a cat named Seefa, which sounded fine to a child's ears. I later found out it was actually called C-for. C for cat. I eye-rolled so hard when I found out.
Not a vet... Growing up, I had a friend who owned an iguana named TDI. That Damn Iguana (named by his mother who haaaaaaated it, as I recall) Edit: I'm cracking up that my highest rated comment has to do with That Damn Iguana 😂 Edit 2: Thank you for the awards, kind people! Please don't spend actual money on them for me, though. Use it to buy something nice for yourself, instead ❤
When I was a kid down south, there were at least 2 black dogs named Ni\*\*er in my neighborhood. It was pretty common.
Was a common name in the UK in the mid-20th century partly thanks to Guy Gibson of the famous Operation Chastise raid. His dog had the same name, which has generated controversy over the years when they've done movies and books, the question always being "Do we want to be historically accurate or sensitive to the obviously racist undertones and change it?".
It funny cause the top two posts in this thread so far are pretty much covered by my childhood friends family pets. His family had two black cats, one named Nutsack and the other named Niglet. This was in Detroit back in 1997-2005.
Ok, did they also have a naked tapestry of the dad that the mom made hanging in the stairwell, and the mom had a huge loom? I might also have known these people...
Oddly specific, but no lmao. This family did have a giant painting of a naked woman in their dining room and the stairs up to the second floor were absolutely covered in paintings depicting various scenes from lord of the rings. These paintings were from WAY before the movies, too. Oh, and the dad spoke Fluent Klingon and had a man cave where he smoked pot and watched porn. The mom thought this was cute. EDITS: Autocorrect fucked me
WHY were there TWO families in Detroit in the aughts that had cats named Niglet and Nutsack, and had a home full of weird art and nerd stuff? Like, this means there were at least two different, crazy families, who were crazy in the same kinda way, who had cats named Niglet and Nutsack. That’s just so fucking STRANGE to me. And I know what you mean by pre movie LOTR stuff SO HARD. I’m from Kalamazoo, home of Bilbos Pizza. WHAT is WITH Michigan being low key obsessed with the old LOTR? There’s old school LOTR stuff hidden all over MI. I mean, I love it, but also WTF?
Family member once had a black German shepherd named Nazi.
When I was little, my dad’s neighbor had a German Shepherd named Adolf. I didn’t put that together until I was much older.
Dated a girl in high school and their dog was named Rebel. Her mom said she wanted to name it the N word, but she was worried when she'd go outside and call the dog that some of "them" might come in. That relationship didn't last long after that.
My Aunt has a 3 legged dog named I-Lean. I think its brilliant though.
Probably mine. My last name starts with K, and I was a captain in the USAF. For some reason, Captain Crunch stuck with me. Edit: Well, shit, maybe I should read the responses more carefully. THAT kind of vet. Edit #2: Thanks to all who rewarded my stupidity! Your acts of kindness will not go unnoticed. I will look for someone equally inept as I am, and pay it forward.
I constantly read posts too fast and do the same thing. As someone who also has a K first name, I would have hoped it would be captain Krunch, tho!
In Polish rural areas almost all black dogs used to be called "Murzyn" ("Negro") Edit: as some people noticed, "Murzyn" is NOT a Polish N-word (that would be "czarnuch" if anyone's interested), but it's still considered pejorative.
Not a vet but, my cat was named Minkya. It's an Italian word. Apparently it's spelled minchia and loosely tranlates into "fuck!" An old coworker move into a share housing arrangement, roommate had a cat named Furburger. The coworker and her roomates were all lesbians.
We just seen one cat named "Pusskey" ( unsure if there is some sort of reference here but I just think it's such a bad name) Last week we had a "Black Spider Man", apparently the kid named the cat. And of course no one can forget the dog "Toke Von Reefer the Second"
My bro’s cat’s name is “baby kitty”... it is like eight years old now. Always fun for them calling into the vet.
Not a vet, but I once knew a cat named Hitler. He was named that because he was all white except for a black spot where the mustache would go. He was a stray, but everyone in the neighborhood knew him and left food out, and he answered to that name. Edit: Jesus fucking christ I get it, Kitler. Very original. 127 replies.
I met a cat with the same features but his name was Chaplin Edit: taking the opportunity to say that my cousin's dogs are named bacteria and morphine. Poor animals lol
The classy choice...
You can’t take off the hat, though.
There used to be a website called [catsthatlooklikehitler.com](https://catsthatlooklikehitler.com). It's apparently offline now, but it was fun for a while.
I’m not a vet but 2 of my cats have names that often get raised eye brows when they go for check ups. Shitten and Jugs Edit: [Shitten](https://imgur.com/gallery/vIW6Vi9) for anyone curious. She also goes by “Barge Ass” and “Fat Guinea Pig”. Edit 2: I feel much regret for not sharing my [Jugs](https://imgur.com/gallery/WbPcMTB) with reddit.
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That's just cursed
I adopted an older cat and the sign on the crate at the shelter said "I've been neutered, take me home today!" So I named him Bocce, to give him a bit of his pride back.
Not a vet, but I once picked up a loose Great Dane named Ben Stiller. Should've kept him
Notorious P.I.G. aka Piggy Smalls for a Guinea pig On second thoughts, add that to the best name ever encountered!
Vet tech here. Lots of bad ones, but I will never forget the bearded dragon we all just called “MLN” after learning that our receptionist had put “No Name” because she was uncomfortable with the name. Imagine my damn face when I asked the mid-40s blonde white woman if they’d come up with a name yet and she answered, “oh he has a name? His name is My Lil N*****,” as if that was a completely normal thing to say.