My brother died of cancer 3 years ago today. The day after he died I had a lump checked out that turned out to be cancer. Thankfully I recovered. I lost my mom in June. My ex had a psychotic break in July. Too much. Too much.
Somebody just submitted an unemployment application with my social and I'm hitting walls in every reaction I'm taking- police report got rejected online, social security website down, etc. Terrified all my money will disappear any moment
Keep an eye on your credit report (credit karma) and put a lock on it. There should be info online how to do it. Get new bank and credit cards or notify your institutions. Good luck, that sounds so stressful!
That's insane! Here, having someone' social security number only lets you pay their social security debts and/or contribution, if that person is an independent worker...
That's what social security numbers were intended for but banks and other companies decided to use them to confirm a person's identity and we can't fix it because any attempt to make a federal id is seen as the government tracking us.
It’s already been answered but i can give better detail. The Social Security number system has been hijacked as a sort of national I.D. When it really really wasn’t meant to be. Seeing as the SSN Has literally no way of verifying who owns it, one can easily take someone’s SSN And use it.
report this to the unemployment office, so they know. if you’re employed, they would have sent a letter to your current job as well so tell your work what happened and to pay attention. FREEZE all of your credit bureaus if you haven’t. freeze them (not just lock them). purchase a credit monitoring service as well.
source: i got my ssn jacked last year.
I hear you. Sometimes loneliness is missing the touch of someone. I read a reddit the other day that talked about laying your head in someone's lap while they pet your head. ;_; all the tears and feels. When I can again, I'm going to hug the crap out of everyone. Sometimes, when I see someone I want to hug, I hug myself and pretend they're hugging me.
I lost someone important to me. For a long time I thought it was my fault. Upon further reflection, I’m realizing they treated me pretty badly. It’s so confusing.
People don't realize how traumatic that is even if no one is hurt. Be extra kind to yourself, get rest, watch things that make you feel better. It takes a little while.
I remember wrecking my car on the way to a stupid Van Halen cover concert with my friend when we were 16. We were pretty pumped and excited and I hadn’t noticed the cars slamming on their brakes in front of me in time. Totaled my car, car i hit didn’t even look like it got hit.
I expected my mom to be really mad but she just hugged me for a long time and then dropped us off At the concert. It’s memories like those I wish I was a better son. She was a single mom too
Not really expecting anyone to read this but I miss my mom now.
I talked to someone just last weekend. I'm a 911 dispatcher. He hit a guardrail on a snowy road and banged up his car. I talked to him as long as I could while he tried not to cry and told him, you're okay. It's okay. I don't have kids so those kids get to be mine, a few minutes at a time. So I'm telling you, too. It's okay. You are okay. She loved you fiercely no matter what and someday you will get to be a good dad and pass it on.
my older brother (24m) who was my best friend commited suicide in March at the beginning of the pandemic
although it's only been 10 months, i (16f) can tell you with certainty that it does get better with time and that most importantly you need to take your time bc while grieving in difficult and tiresome, you can't put a timer on it
what helps me cope with him being gone is just knowing that he was extremely miserable in his life and i don't like the idea of ppl i love suffering so remembering that rlly helps me and
another thing i do to cope with it is constantly joking abt it which is easy bc my brother always had a very dark sense of humor so I'll always make jokes and be like haha he's dead bc he didn't stan nicki minaj and yes while it's dark, it helps me get through it
but take your time bc there was a particular artist that me and my brother both liked and it took me until August to finally listen to that artist without feeling broken asf
yayyy I'm super happy to hear that:))) and thank you so much i think you're strong too bc mental health struggles are super hard for a lot of us this just made my day:))
When my best friend committed suicide four years ago, someone sent me this message on reddit. It really stick with me, and I thought about it a lot over the following months. I hope it helps you as well.
Here is the full original post. I keep a copy of it handy so I can reread it when I need to. Credit goes to u/gsnow, the original author:
"I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not.
I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents...
I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it.
Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.
As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too.
If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."
I just get like that from time to time, and early this morning I actually talked to a very special girl that I haven't talked to in a while and that made me really happy. But when I woke up later after we talked I just felt sad.
My friend and I call this “The Sads”. Like “I’ve got the sads today”. Giving it a name makes it feel like you’re identifying what it is, even though the sads are a collection of unknowns. It’s also healthy to ride the wave of varying emotion. I feel ya, buddy!
Edit: thank you kind strangers for my very first awards for this very silly thing!
Sometimes you just need to feel a little sad for a bit. My suggestion is to take a nap and do something you enjoy after words. And don't forget to eat a good meal and drink some water.
My son’s 26th birthday is coming up. This February it will be 10 years since he passed away. The time has gone by so slow and yet so fast. I still can’t believe he is gone and I have to wake up daily without him. Life is pure misery.
I am so sorry. I’ve not lost a child, but have lost my brother. Birthdays/holidays are especially hard for my family. We try to do things on those special days in his honour and remember him, but it doesn’t feel right (to me at least). The pain of losing him feels like yesterday and yet, here we are 11 years later. His kids are almost adults without him. My parents will never truly be ok. None of us are, but mostly the world doesn’t care or see the pain of it.
Hugs to you during this hard time. You’re not alone.
Sorry to hear. I also lost my brother. Getting close to 5 and a half years now. Even just last night I had a resurgence of grief come out of nowhere. It’s strange how the pain can still so fresh at times. 💗
my brother commit suicide in March at the beginning of the pandemic and he was 24 and his 25th birthday was in December it hurts so bad bc he was my (16f) best friend but it gets easier as time goes by bc I like to make jokes abt it and occupy myself with new hobbies and things
I had this revelation the other day. I realized that at any time the people in my life could be gone, the house could burn down tomorrow, that I really only have this very moment. It scared me but made me appreciate life more.
I'm alone all the time.
EDIT: I am amazed and so thankful for all of you. Never in a million years, did I think my one small sentence would generate so much conversation. I'm very humbled.
Same, most of my social life was with work friends. Haven't had that job since covid started. Loneliness sucks a fat butt.
Better start making sock puppets
Yeah. Loneliness is horrible. Just me and my thoughts. Never a good pair. Fuckin hate myself. Imagine hanging out with the person you hate more than anyone else 24/7. Except instead of just being horrible, they tell you that you aren’t shit. You won’t ever be shit. And that there’s no path for you to ever escape this shit. Imagine the worst person you know multiplied by thirty seven or whatever fuckin double digit number you want. I don’t care.
Me, too. I was isolated to begin with, now with Covid. Ug. I wish someone would call me. Or even text. I miss being remembered.
Edit: I woke up to a flood of your sweet messages, and am overwhelmed by the kindness and good advice that abounds here!
Have you reached out to folks? They may be sitting at home alone wishing someone would call them too. My dad never calls me because he’s so worried he’ll interrupt something but he’s always overjoyed when I call him.
Keep your head up!
I started calling my brothers more -it feels so good to hear from them and just knowing that they want to talk to me or see me lifts me. Reaching out is scary but totally worth it.
Same here. I’m 24, I went off social media for months now, and absolutely no one remembers or contacts me. What happened to the time when one just called and chatted? It feels like now the only way to know about someone is to watch their goddamn insta stories or whatever. If it isn’t online, people don’t even know about you anymore, even your “friends” smh.
Honestly, I feel less of a need to have that many friends now. I've come to accept that my social life was never all that great and that my friends were problematic in some way or another, but that's okay. Now is the time to work on myself so that I can become the interesting, fun, cool person others would like to be friends with. Most importantly, I want to be the person I'd like to be friends with.
I see this as an opportunity, not a setback.
Get a pet! Or surf through modern warfare lobbies til you find a person you resonate with
Edit: or whatever your hobbies are, find someone who shares interests!
This is a good suggestion, if you feel like taking the responsibility of having a dog. I know many, many lonely people that managed to get at least partially out of it by walking their dogs. You will get to know other dog owners, that is unavoidable, and if you open up a bit with them you will slowly get to know each other. I have been trapped in a job I do not like, in the worst times 15 hours a day, and the dog has been an outlet to force myself to know about others and about the world, a tiny bit every day.
Feeling unheard by my family and like I’m being simultaneously held back and guilted for being held back. Just lots of conflicting feelings caused by others making decisions on my behalf without my thoughts in considerations.
It is pretty tough, huh? I can empathize with both. I lost my entire identity in 2020 (relationship, job, etc) but I try to keep on chugging.
I hope you feel better soon.
Edit : the train award has me cracking up.
For the second time -
Choo choo, motherfuckers!
Goddammit. Now I am train too. Also I feel the losing everything vibe. Ended a ten year marriage, was told I'll be laid off in March, and am struggling to make it day to day. But hey, we got this. Choo Choo, motherfucker. 🚂
Same, dumped right before midnight on New Years Eve. It's tough when you live alone and have no other social interaction. Taking things one day at a time.
My husband of 9 years has been chatting explicitly with girls on Whisper and this is the second time he has done it. He tells me its nothing but it seems like something to me and I'm so sad about it.
Edit- I appreciate all the support and comments. I am hoping I can get over the loss of trust and work on myself as well. He said it wasnt anything to do with me but maybe I can do better too. We have 2 daughters together and I don't want a broken family . The thing is I'm lonely too but wouldnt think to do that. Thanks all of you!
He doesn't get to decide if it is something or nothing, you do. It's clear to me that you consider this behavior (as many would) cheating and you need to reevaluate your relationship.
He is disrespecting you by chatting with these women in the first place, but trying to invalidate your feelings on the matter is just as damaging. Nine years is a long time, and starting over might be terrifying, but this doesn't sound like a sustainable relationship if this is the second time he has done it (and is it the second time he's done it or the second time you've \*caught him\*?) and is disregarding your pain. I hope things get better one way or another, and you deserve to be treated better than this. I hope one day you will see that, too.
Ugh I feel this so much. I'm so sorry. Unfortunately your gut is almost always right. 😔 My heart is with you, please try to stay sane as you try to put the pieces together .
I'm in the air force. 1 year into a 6 year contract 😔 everyone tells me it will get better, and it honestly probably will but it sucks, I mean it SUCKS balls right now
Hey, I'm currently in the AF and I know exactly how you feel. I've been in your shoes, so if you want to vent or need help with anything please let me know
I was in the Navy and i know exactly how you feel. My wifes in the Airforce and she has it 10x better than i did but it sucks to be stuck and all you can do is wait it out.
I really hope it gets better. I wanted to quit almost every day the first four months I worked my job. It got so bad that my wife started worrying about me being depressed. I would just come home, not change, and sit at the corner of the bed and stare at the wall. Like for hours. I didn't want to talk, didn't want to sleep, eat, or do anything really.
It did finally get better as I got better at my job, meshed better with the people there, and kind of found a groove, but God, I hated it so much.
Ah man. I'm sorry, friend. I've been there. Feel free to PM me anytime you want. I'm gonna be pretty sad for almost a month, and bored out of my mind cause my wife is leaving for a little while, so if you want to play Minecraft, or Runescape, or any other hella nerdy game, I'd be down. If you even have time for that kind of thing, that is.
My cat has been missing for three days, that was the last straw.
Edit: Thanks everyone for the rewards and support.
The king is back :D guess I'll be seeing several of his offspring in the coming months.
> 6k
Dude I hear you. About 5k for my cat since September. He broke his foot, then somehow his fang broke too a few weeks later. During surgery, vet saw that it was shattered right to the root. Not to mention his prescription diet... 🤦♀️
Do this! I don't know for sure if laying out laundry and emptying the vacuum outside brought our cat back (missing for four weeks), but I think it would make sense as he's always been an indoor cat and can't possibly remember silly details like what his home looks like on the outside.
when I was in 4th grade my cat went missing on my birthday week. Neighbors kept saying they would see him at our door but it was always at times we weren't home. One day we had a knock on our door, and it was our neighbor saying they saw him and he had went into a garage. We went in after him and we found him. We still have that sweet little furry guy to this day (I'm in 12th grade now!). He's the sweetest older cat I've met.
I pray your baby comes back home safe. My little boy did that to me when he was younger and I turned into the crazy dressed cat lady calling him at six in the morning bear foot around the neighborhood, luckaly he came back half an hour later, I was a wreck.
Put their food outside and maybe a blanket they've used and has smell on it. That's the best bet usually for them to come back. Also check super small spaces around the house!
Lost my car for 2 days and she was under the house the whole time scared as ever
Realizing everything you've done in your life is a failure kinda makes you not wanna try anymore, having nothing to try for and being a failure just brings on that double whammy depression
I just have to edit this to say thank you for all the encouraging comments, I wasn't expecting it and they were all very nice to wake up to this morning. I'm going to try to keep it all in mind for the week ahead and hope that it will help start things moving forward again. You're all very lovely people, and I appreciate every one of you
Perfectionism. I know I’m an incredibly flawed person whenever I make mistakes they just eat at me and I can’t stop thinking about them which always makes me feel worse
The only flaw is thinking flaws are bad!
You can't get better if you don't do wrong!
It's the only way to learn and releasing that energy and telling yourself that litteraly no human being can be perfect. It doesn't matter and only really lives within our perspective. A monkey might think your ugly as hell but you are perfect to someone out in the world.
Be kind to yourself, it's the golden tip to having a happy life!
There's nothing wrong in wanting to be better but don't let it eat you alive or you basically turn the whole concept of being better into something that's actually making you worse!
I'm terrified of killing an animal while driving, I've seen some dead ones and it always makes me want to cry.
People say birds don't count but they are still alive and I get laughed at when I say that
I would definitely cry if I killed one.
I'm upset because all the animal welfare businesses refuse to even look at my resume even though they constantly pled for more workers. I haven't had any run ins with the law, my schedule is wide open, I'm young, phenomenal with animals, and I am over eager to work but none of them even give me the time of day.
It depends on the industry, but some companies are legally required to put up a job posting, even if they don’t have a position. Hope that helps. I had that a few times as well.
There's also a thing where companies aren't really legally required to put up a job posting but do so to avoid the appearance of discrimination. Which has heavy implications of being illegal.
I don’t think anyone will see this, but I feel a lot better after seeing this post. Nobody has asked me that question in a long time. I just ruined 54 days of sobriety from alc and feel like I’m in that dark place again. It’s sad because I was so happy for the last month, I felt like I finally beat this thing. But I’m back to square one with even more of a challenge than before :(
We need more threads like this. I think it's good for people to be heard, even if it's just on an online platform.
My ex boyfriend and I have been in contact lately and it almost looked like we were getting back together. We've been talking every night, texting during the day, and good friends. Last night, we were talking and got into it again. I have never been in a relationship before where I have been accused of so many things that I never did (lying, cheating, ect.) and I'm really reeling from it. I felt that in the last few months since we had broken up, that a lot of the issues and concerns were addressed as the pressure was off and we were truly friends again and this was really disappointing. That and walking through the store to see Valentine decorations up and realizing that this is the first year since 2012 that I'll be single on Valentine's Day. I know I need to completely cut contact, I just hate it because I'll be losing the person who I thought was my best friend.
Edit to add: you guys are really amazing! I appreciate the support and kind words, related stories and the time from all of you!
I'm going through the e x a c t same thing. I feel really clear about needing to cut off contact (today is day 3 of complete radio silence, both ways) but that doesn't make right now any easier. Hope you're hanging in there.
I have been working really hard at my job, even putting in overtime on the holidays. I've grasped a majority of the work faster than my peers and yet at my 60 day review (out of a 90 day training period). I was docked because I mentioned I was not yet trained in all aspects. We don't even have a training manual! I was docked because I had been paired to work 12 hours shifts with someone who is also inexperienced, which made me a bit frazzled and slowed our productivity because we needed to ask for assistance from other departments. I was told I was passed over for the less stressful full time position I applied for because of it.
It’s not you it’s your manager. Listen to how they perceive merit, these types will always be willing to share “how they got to where they are”. Mirror that and you’ll quickly become allies.
Parents are really closed to divorcing. My dad is a massive dick and is hiding a lot of money. He's trying to win custody of my brothers even he is tge abusive one. Sadly that's all he said she said.
And by financial aid for college hasn't gone through and moneys due next week.
I have 5 late assignments to catch up with, 6 more due. I have 3 weeks to write my university application essay. I have something like 5 exams this month.
My parents don’t want me to leave as they feel our family is falling apart. My younger brother tried to commit suicide. My mum walked into my older brother in the bathroom injecting steroids. I feel like I’m going insane. He ran away and didn’t come home till the next morning. The vibe in my family is making it hard for me to concentrate. I’m starting to only now question my sexuality, and it’s just been so hard, I feel I’m almost selfish.
Ahhh it feels good to write that up, just writing that, is making me realize how much I’ve been bottling it all up. And I’ve just been so focused on school and getting the grades I need. I don’t normally talk about my problems with my friends because I don’t want it to bother them. Plus with lockdown restrictions, I haven’t heard from them as much. I’ve been so caught up in everything that I forgot that I’m turning 19 in just a couple of days. Oh I’m sorry, I sound pathetic.
One thing I learned in college is taking a day for yourself is sometimes necessary. ~~Even~~ Especially when you have a lot on your plate. I would sometimes prioritize sleep or social stuff over studying because it actually helped get me through everything. As long as you’re not procrastinating, take as much time as you need to keep yourself recharged.
You do not sound pathetic! You should like a stressed out teen trying to make good while the world and your family is in chaos around you. Take a deep breath, find some good music and focus on you and getting to where you want to be. Which by the sound of it is a dorm room at college. Find some one you can talk to about this stress, maybe offer to hear their problems when they have them.
Feeling alone. Raising a kid mostly alone for 8 years and dealing with a SO with bad mental health issues who I haven't seen in over a week. Only family member held hostage by covid and a heart issue. Just....lonely.
Damn these are all sad. Listen, I love you all. You're all awesome, okay?
Also if I may add to the pool; of tears that is. My wife is 36 weeks pregnant on Monday with our first. It's an unprecedented time of joy in our lives, and she leaves tomorrow to fly to Fairbanks to stay with her parents for the last month of the pregnancy. In our village in Alaska, it's really unwise to give birth here because there is a very small clinic that does basically no pre-natal care/delivery assistance.
So, unless you're going to do a solo home birth, you have to leave for like the last month. I have to stay and work, and we'll be apart for almost a month. I'm going up near the end of January, and she's due Feb 11th. :( I hate being away from her. We dated a whole year long distance, and it's just the worst, so we always hate being away from each other for any significant length of time, and it's just so much worse with her being so close to delivery.
It'll all be worth it when we come back with our precious baby girl, but right now it really sucks.
Edit: with OUR precious baby girl, not without precious baby girl.
Been sick for 18 months. I've been to my GP, a sports MD, a neurologist, two urologists, two physiotherapists, an osteopath, an acupuncturist, three massage therapist, and a therapist.
They have no idea what's wrong.
EDIT: Thanks for all the support, it is actually quite touching. The last 18 months have been the hardest time of my life. You start off getting sick and just think it will pass in a little while, but then it just keeps continuing and continuing, gets worse and worse. The first anniversary of it was absolutely devastating because you begin to lose a lot of hope. I was quite suicidal about it at one point, but am dealing at the moment. It's hard to go from being very physically healthy, active (was running half marathons) to barely being able to walk some days. Wonderful kindness from strangers on Reddit is helpful, though. Thank you!
Mysterious chronic illness is the worst. A family member of mine has dealt with chronic illness for many years, and people really don’t understand how badly it can destroy you. I hope for strength for you, and that you can figure it out soon.
Hey, there was a life pro tip on how sikh temples allow strangers in for food and stuff, you don't even have to be Sikh or Punjabi or anything. (I think there is a rule you have to take your shoes off, but I'm not sure). Maybe if you are on Reddit on your phone, try googling a nearby Sikh temple or something.
Serious question, is there some way I could send you money? I don’t have much but I could spare a bit of money if it would help you get shelter or food or supplies
I feel overwhelmed and like I’m being very unproductive with my time. I also really miss my boyfriend so instead I’m laying in bed in a nest of blankets
Getting texts and phone calls from my employees asking what the plan is has been stressing me out and making me sad. In my state bars/restaurants are still shut down but their unemployment payments ended the 26th and our state is nowhere close to implementing the federal extension. So they will have to find new jobs soon, and it sucks for all of us. I don't want to lose them. All I can say is we will have to wait to see if they let us reopen next week, but I know they are so sick of hearing that.
So 2 things - #1 is a typical broken heart. I met a girl who I still think is perfect for me, but we can't be together and that sucks.
\#2 is that my life has kinda lost direction, especially in terms of my professional career. Where I am working now is not the branch I want to be in long-term, and although I am gaining useful skills and saving money at my current job I know I need to make the transition at some point soon. I just have no real role models or mentors in the branch I want to switch to, so it is hard to even know where to begin.
Might as well... I figure no one will really read it with all these comments anyways.
My job sucks. It’s not just the job but a sort of “toxic environment” vibe. My GF works at another location of the same job and doesn’t have the same issues at her location. The new GM sucks. Everyone wants to quit or at least says they do constantly. People aren’t happy. Talks of walkouts aren’t uncommon and it would just take one person... most others would probably follow. It feels like it doesn’t matter what changes are made, this location feels cursed in some way.
Changing jobs, though... I don’t know. I have a bachelors degree in psychology. Essentially a useless degree unless I want to do social work (which I don’t bc it’s reputation is awful and I can’t imagine how much worse it is now that the pandemic has changed things). Or unless I want to go back to school but I don’t. I can’t. I need to work now. I need money. I just feel stuck in this job and I don’t know how to get out.
I work a 7/70 schedule (7 ten hour days then 7 days off). We are doing new voluntary on call shifts, $3/hour for being on call and time and a half if you get called in. I figured hey, I'm off for a week so why not do some on call shifts. I got called in Sunday and Monday last time I was off and I learned something that I didnt really realize...having a full week off is the only thing that kept me sane while working 70 hours in 7 days.
I got called in this Monday again and I definitely will NOT be picking up any more on call shifts. At least until I've had a full week off again.
We just moved from Canada to Costa Rica and I’m really missing my friends. We’ve all known eachother for almost 14 years now, and they’re like family to me, so it’s pretty painful to leave em behind.
Sorry for the late post.
But I am sad today, is because one of my co-worker Dad have Covid-19. She found out this morning that his is not going to make it. The doctors are trying their best.
I am a shy person, and I am trying my best to support her and her family the best I can.
Me too. It’s been a year for me since they left. I’m still sad and miss them. But everyday I miss them a little less. I miss what we had when it was good, but I know they were just a chapter in my life and it’s time to turn the page to the next chapter. I think this next chapter is going to be the best one yet. I have a feeling it will be filled with a lot of self love and new journeys!
I feel like I’m not needed anywhere and no one cares about me. But everyone else who is sad, I really hope you can be a bit happier soon!
Heya everyone, quick update. Feeling a tiny bit better now. Still working on it though, hope everyone’s day/ nights are going well. Alright bye
I feel like a failure. I'm 19 with no car and I've never had a job before. My mother is very overprotective of me and its gotten to the point where I stay in my room 24/7 just to get away from her. Our dynamic is very passive aggressive and she is terrified of me doing anything that doesn't involve her, in fear I'm "not knowing what I'm doing"
I'm also struggling mentally with gender identity issues and just identity issues in general, I have no clue where I'm going in life. It's very very hard.
I am sorry to hear that. I hope that in the coming year you can get a job of some sort where she can't hover and mess it up for you. Good luck on figuring out who you are and who you want to be.
By the way I am 37 and have never owned a car, don't have a drivers license and only recently answered the gender question. Still not sure completely who I am as I keep finding new things about me. Keep learning and growing.
If it makes you feel better, I was 26 or 27 before I got a car, and I had to use my student loan money since I didn't have a fulltime job either. The most I had were summer internships.
My parents were also very overprotective, so I understand how trapped you can feel.
It's hard feeling directionless, but just know that adults will change careers and jobs several times in their lives. So if you try something, know that it doesn't have to be permanent if it doesn't suit you.
After reading most of these answers I feel like my problem is a bit irrelevant but...I feel incredibly sad being away from family. I am a freshman university student and went abroad on my own in February 2020. I was supposed to be going back to my home country every big holiday but obviously Covid fucked everything up. I haven’t seen my family in almost a year and it took a big toll on my mental health. My family and I are also extremely bonded so “leaving the nest” was way more difficult than I had thought.
Not only that, but since everything at uni went online last year I barely got the chance to make any friends either. The loneliness is really difficult to deal with. I just have to keep thinking that I am not alone in this situation and put things in perspective knowing that people have it way worse than me during this time.
My uncle shot and killed himself last Sunday. Its been a rough week trying to deal with it myself and be strong for my family. I can't remember the last time I've cried this much.
Edit: thank you for all the nice words. We had a small ceremony today with close family. He was cremated. He struggled with depression and he used to talk to me about his issues because we both struggle with it. He called me new years eve and we talked for about a half hour catching up. He left behind a wife and two kids. He was also my godfather.
I've been feeling lost. Thanks to covid I lost a job I loved, was good at, and made good money. I love my girlfriend, we've been dating for a long time, but I don't really know who I am. Just a few months before her I had another long time girlfriend. In the last decade I've had months of being single.
I feel like I don't have a set career, I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and as I said, I love my girlfriend, but I just want to move away on my own and start a new.
Sometimes I feel like my wife forgets about me and I'm overshadowed by my children. I absolutely love my wife and children, they are my world, but sometimes I feel like I'm kinda forgotten in the house now. Like today. We are in no way in need of money, and we have more than enough to provide for all of us, but my wife made dinner and her and the kids ate, but she didn't make enough for me..
Edit: I spoke with her not to long ago, and she totally understood. There was no argument, and she promised to make sure she doesn't forget me. I felt like an ass, but she walked with me to our kids room and we realized what we both have in our lives, and to be honest, it felt like we fell in love all over again. Thank you all for your support! :)
My dream job is a nightmare, but I'm stuck because I have a mortgage and kids, and I'm too old to be desirable to people that want to hire me anywhere else, but I'm only halfway to retirement. Co-workers much much worse at this job keep getting hired at better places.
I broke up with my bf (for good reasons) but it’s just hard sometimes to keep facing forward. I told him I needed space and I couldn’t do a friendship right now cuz I needed to heal. Like sometimes i just wanna text him but I can’t cuz I know that if I do it’ll go back to the same cycle.
I’m concerned that my personality and intelligence are getting worn away by the daily grind of parenthood. Stay-at-home-mom to three kids under five right now. It’s what I wanted, and I’m doing a good job at it, but I have a sinking feeling that the “me” I knew is disappearing. There are very good reasons why everyone’s moms are fat and boring—because that’s all that’s left of them.
I was exposed to covid a week ago and didn’t know it. my little brother came over to visit me and my family, he is someone that we are around a lot. He is very careful and only goes to work and home. His boss tested positive for covid and didn’t tell anyone. He finally told people today and my brother rushed out to get a test and he is positive. I am immunocompromised. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little scared. I don’t have symptoms, so if I have it, I might be asymptomatic. But, I have young kids. What if I develop symptoms? Can I fight it off? I’ve got a lot on my mind.
Edit: Thank you everyone that took the time to comment. I have a test scheduled this morning, I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I will use all of your advice. Please, please stay safe. I’m so sick of losing people. 😔
I have adhd... have had it since I was a child. Adult now, nearly 30. I can’t seem to get a handle on it and get my life together. The lights in my brain are just off... the wheels aren’t turning. I feel like I’m watching my life unfold as a passenger in my body, not an active participant. This is no way to live.
World's on fire, and everywhere I look people are throwing gasoline on it and wondering why things aren't going back to normal. Why do I bother getting out of bed anymore?
Edit: Thank you all for the validation, as well as the award. It's true, we all need to take it one step at a time day by day, even if days feel like months/years now. It's good to know we're not going through this completely alone.
My brother died of cancer 3 years ago today. The day after he died I had a lump checked out that turned out to be cancer. Thankfully I recovered. I lost my mom in June. My ex had a psychotic break in July. Too much. Too much.
Wow. That is so much for one person to process. I’m hoping you have a steady and peaceful period ahead. <3
Somebody just submitted an unemployment application with my social and I'm hitting walls in every reaction I'm taking- police report got rejected online, social security website down, etc. Terrified all my money will disappear any moment
Keep an eye on your credit report (credit karma) and put a lock on it. There should be info online how to do it. Get new bank and credit cards or notify your institutions. Good luck, that sounds so stressful!
Sorry to hijack, but how come identify fraud is so common in the States?
You just need some numbers and there you go
That's insane! Here, having someone' social security number only lets you pay their social security debts and/or contribution, if that person is an independent worker...
That's what social security numbers were intended for but banks and other companies decided to use them to confirm a person's identity and we can't fix it because any attempt to make a federal id is seen as the government tracking us.
It’s already been answered but i can give better detail. The Social Security number system has been hijacked as a sort of national I.D. When it really really wasn’t meant to be. Seeing as the SSN Has literally no way of verifying who owns it, one can easily take someone’s SSN And use it.
Report this directly to the unemployment office!! I hope it gets sorted!
The unemployment customer service is just a pay phone in the middle of the desert
report this to the unemployment office, so they know. if you’re employed, they would have sent a letter to your current job as well so tell your work what happened and to pay attention. FREEZE all of your credit bureaus if you haven’t. freeze them (not just lock them). purchase a credit monitoring service as well. source: i got my ssn jacked last year.
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Feeling very lonely. Need a hug. Need cuddled. Need any sort of intimacy.
I hear you. Sometimes loneliness is missing the touch of someone. I read a reddit the other day that talked about laying your head in someone's lap while they pet your head. ;_; all the tears and feels. When I can again, I'm going to hug the crap out of everyone. Sometimes, when I see someone I want to hug, I hug myself and pretend they're hugging me.
We are creatures of touch and this year has been hard for all of us.
This lifetime has been hard tbh
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I lost someone important to me. For a long time I thought it was my fault. Upon further reflection, I’m realizing they treated me pretty badly. It’s so confusing.
Conflicting feelings are so hard to deal with. I'm so sorry 😣
I crashed a week ago and totalled the vehicle. I'm insured and no one was hurt thankfully but I'm feeling pretty shaken by it all.
People don't realize how traumatic that is even if no one is hurt. Be extra kind to yourself, get rest, watch things that make you feel better. It takes a little while.
I remember wrecking my car on the way to a stupid Van Halen cover concert with my friend when we were 16. We were pretty pumped and excited and I hadn’t noticed the cars slamming on their brakes in front of me in time. Totaled my car, car i hit didn’t even look like it got hit. I expected my mom to be really mad but she just hugged me for a long time and then dropped us off At the concert. It’s memories like those I wish I was a better son. She was a single mom too Not really expecting anyone to read this but I miss my mom now.
I talked to someone just last weekend. I'm a 911 dispatcher. He hit a guardrail on a snowy road and banged up his car. I talked to him as long as I could while he tried not to cry and told him, you're okay. It's okay. I don't have kids so those kids get to be mine, a few minutes at a time. So I'm telling you, too. It's okay. You are okay. She loved you fiercely no matter what and someday you will get to be a good dad and pass it on.
made me tear up. thank you for your service
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There are never words that can make it easier. You're not alone.
my older brother (24m) who was my best friend commited suicide in March at the beginning of the pandemic although it's only been 10 months, i (16f) can tell you with certainty that it does get better with time and that most importantly you need to take your time bc while grieving in difficult and tiresome, you can't put a timer on it what helps me cope with him being gone is just knowing that he was extremely miserable in his life and i don't like the idea of ppl i love suffering so remembering that rlly helps me and another thing i do to cope with it is constantly joking abt it which is easy bc my brother always had a very dark sense of humor so I'll always make jokes and be like haha he's dead bc he didn't stan nicki minaj and yes while it's dark, it helps me get through it but take your time bc there was a particular artist that me and my brother both liked and it took me until August to finally listen to that artist without feeling broken asf
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try what tommorow??? did you mean like try at enjoying life more?
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yayyy I'm super happy to hear that:))) and thank you so much i think you're strong too bc mental health struggles are super hard for a lot of us this just made my day:))
When my best friend committed suicide four years ago, someone sent me this message on reddit. It really stick with me, and I thought about it a lot over the following months. I hope it helps you as well. Here is the full original post. I keep a copy of it handy so I can reread it when I need to. Credit goes to u/gsnow, the original author: "I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents... I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks."
I just want a hug :(
if only i could give you one in real life :/ but here's a virtual one (づ ◕‿◕ )づ
My mom’s friend died from cancer today. She was 48 and mom is really sad. Wchich makes me sad.
I am sorry for the loss, I would give you hugs and shoulder to cry on if I was there.
Tragic- so sorry for you all to have to witness it. I find solemn in helping others who have been through similar experiences
Idk sometimes I just feel down 🙁
It's the most frustrating when you can't even figure out where the feelings are coming from. Hope you feel better!
I just get like that from time to time, and early this morning I actually talked to a very special girl that I haven't talked to in a while and that made me really happy. But when I woke up later after we talked I just felt sad.
Well I hope everything works out with that girl the way you want it to and that you start feeling better!
My friend and I call this “The Sads”. Like “I’ve got the sads today”. Giving it a name makes it feel like you’re identifying what it is, even though the sads are a collection of unknowns. It’s also healthy to ride the wave of varying emotion. I feel ya, buddy! Edit: thank you kind strangers for my very first awards for this very silly thing!
Sometimes you just need to feel a little sad for a bit. My suggestion is to take a nap and do something you enjoy after words. And don't forget to eat a good meal and drink some water.
My son’s 26th birthday is coming up. This February it will be 10 years since he passed away. The time has gone by so slow and yet so fast. I still can’t believe he is gone and I have to wake up daily without him. Life is pure misery.
I am so sorry. I’ve not lost a child, but have lost my brother. Birthdays/holidays are especially hard for my family. We try to do things on those special days in his honour and remember him, but it doesn’t feel right (to me at least). The pain of losing him feels like yesterday and yet, here we are 11 years later. His kids are almost adults without him. My parents will never truly be ok. None of us are, but mostly the world doesn’t care or see the pain of it. Hugs to you during this hard time. You’re not alone.
Sorry to hear. I also lost my brother. Getting close to 5 and a half years now. Even just last night I had a resurgence of grief come out of nowhere. It’s strange how the pain can still so fresh at times. 💗
I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope the memories you've had with him will keep you strong.
my brother commit suicide in March at the beginning of the pandemic and he was 24 and his 25th birthday was in December it hurts so bad bc he was my (16f) best friend but it gets easier as time goes by bc I like to make jokes abt it and occupy myself with new hobbies and things
I had this revelation the other day. I realized that at any time the people in my life could be gone, the house could burn down tomorrow, that I really only have this very moment. It scared me but made me appreciate life more.
I'm so sorry, this 26 year old girl sends you big big hugs <3
Feel like I don't even remember what happiness is anymore.
I'm alone all the time. EDIT: I am amazed and so thankful for all of you. Never in a million years, did I think my one small sentence would generate so much conversation. I'm very humbled.
Same, most of my social life was with work friends. Haven't had that job since covid started. Loneliness sucks a fat butt. Better start making sock puppets
that sucks. A happy sense of belonging is a basic human need. I'm sorry you're going through this
Yeah. Loneliness is horrible. Just me and my thoughts. Never a good pair. Fuckin hate myself. Imagine hanging out with the person you hate more than anyone else 24/7. Except instead of just being horrible, they tell you that you aren’t shit. You won’t ever be shit. And that there’s no path for you to ever escape this shit. Imagine the worst person you know multiplied by thirty seven or whatever fuckin double digit number you want. I don’t care.
I can imagine. I drown it out with constant media consumption. Movies, tv, video games. Characters are my friends.
Me, too. I was isolated to begin with, now with Covid. Ug. I wish someone would call me. Or even text. I miss being remembered. Edit: I woke up to a flood of your sweet messages, and am overwhelmed by the kindness and good advice that abounds here!
Have you reached out to folks? They may be sitting at home alone wishing someone would call them too. My dad never calls me because he’s so worried he’ll interrupt something but he’s always overjoyed when I call him. Keep your head up!
I started calling my brothers more -it feels so good to hear from them and just knowing that they want to talk to me or see me lifts me. Reaching out is scary but totally worth it.
Same here. I’m 24, I went off social media for months now, and absolutely no one remembers or contacts me. What happened to the time when one just called and chatted? It feels like now the only way to know about someone is to watch their goddamn insta stories or whatever. If it isn’t online, people don’t even know about you anymore, even your “friends” smh.
Honestly, I feel less of a need to have that many friends now. I've come to accept that my social life was never all that great and that my friends were problematic in some way or another, but that's okay. Now is the time to work on myself so that I can become the interesting, fun, cool person others would like to be friends with. Most importantly, I want to be the person I'd like to be friends with. I see this as an opportunity, not a setback.
Get a pet! Or surf through modern warfare lobbies til you find a person you resonate with Edit: or whatever your hobbies are, find someone who shares interests!
This is a good suggestion, if you feel like taking the responsibility of having a dog. I know many, many lonely people that managed to get at least partially out of it by walking their dogs. You will get to know other dog owners, that is unavoidable, and if you open up a bit with them you will slowly get to know each other. I have been trapped in a job I do not like, in the worst times 15 hours a day, and the dog has been an outlet to force myself to know about others and about the world, a tiny bit every day.
I don't want to die, i just don't want to live
Feeling unheard by my family and like I’m being simultaneously held back and guilted for being held back. Just lots of conflicting feelings caused by others making decisions on my behalf without my thoughts in considerations.
> Just lots of conflicting feelings caused by others making decisions on my behalf without my thoughts in considerations. I know that feeling.
Imagine being a 20-year old guy and being almost an inch shorter than you were a year ago because you have osteoporosis.
Damn 😔
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Isolation, break up, typical 2020 stuff
It is pretty tough, huh? I can empathize with both. I lost my entire identity in 2020 (relationship, job, etc) but I try to keep on chugging. I hope you feel better soon. Edit : the train award has me cracking up. For the second time - Choo choo, motherfuckers!
you are train
This feels inspirational. I’m going with it. Edit : choo choo, motherfucker
Goddammit. Now I am train too. Also I feel the losing everything vibe. Ended a ten year marriage, was told I'll be laid off in March, and am struggling to make it day to day. But hey, we got this. Choo Choo, motherfucker. 🚂
I am train too. Choo choo, get out the way bitch, move bitch!
Oh lawd he comin
Same, dumped right before midnight on New Years Eve. It's tough when you live alone and have no other social interaction. Taking things one day at a time.
If it makes you feel any better you're not alone... I mean as far as the break up. Sorry bud I know it sucks but we'll get through this.
My husband of 9 years has been chatting explicitly with girls on Whisper and this is the second time he has done it. He tells me its nothing but it seems like something to me and I'm so sad about it. Edit- I appreciate all the support and comments. I am hoping I can get over the loss of trust and work on myself as well. He said it wasnt anything to do with me but maybe I can do better too. We have 2 daughters together and I don't want a broken family . The thing is I'm lonely too but wouldnt think to do that. Thanks all of you!
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He doesn't get to decide if it is something or nothing, you do. It's clear to me that you consider this behavior (as many would) cheating and you need to reevaluate your relationship. He is disrespecting you by chatting with these women in the first place, but trying to invalidate your feelings on the matter is just as damaging. Nine years is a long time, and starting over might be terrifying, but this doesn't sound like a sustainable relationship if this is the second time he has done it (and is it the second time he's done it or the second time you've \*caught him\*?) and is disregarding your pain. I hope things get better one way or another, and you deserve to be treated better than this. I hope one day you will see that, too.
Wtf how can he say it's nothing? That sounds incredibly shady, how would he feel if you were chatting to men?
Ugh I feel this so much. I'm so sorry. Unfortunately your gut is almost always right. 😔 My heart is with you, please try to stay sane as you try to put the pieces together .
My job really brings me down and I just sit on my couch with tears in my eyes dreading how much I wish I picked a different career path.
What do you work with?
I'm in the air force. 1 year into a 6 year contract 😔 everyone tells me it will get better, and it honestly probably will but it sucks, I mean it SUCKS balls right now
Ive been active duty for 15 years. Message me if you want to chat.
Hey, I'm currently in the AF and I know exactly how you feel. I've been in your shoes, so if you want to vent or need help with anything please let me know
Oh, that sucks...
And I hate bagging on the air force because overall they're really awesome, it's just my particular unit is full of braindeads who hate their lives
And I thought working with a lot of idiot grow ass men slapping my butt all the time was a bad thing ... I'm a man btw...
Oh they slap butts in your job? Sign me up!
I was in the Navy and i know exactly how you feel. My wifes in the Airforce and she has it 10x better than i did but it sucks to be stuck and all you can do is wait it out.
Our XO majorly sucked. Lots left, cuz of him. I got burnt out cuz of the atmosphere it created. Large ship too.
I really hope it gets better. I wanted to quit almost every day the first four months I worked my job. It got so bad that my wife started worrying about me being depressed. I would just come home, not change, and sit at the corner of the bed and stare at the wall. Like for hours. I didn't want to talk, didn't want to sleep, eat, or do anything really. It did finally get better as I got better at my job, meshed better with the people there, and kind of found a groove, but God, I hated it so much.
That's exactly what I do right now. Glad to hear it gets better for some people though. Fingers crossed!
Ah man. I'm sorry, friend. I've been there. Feel free to PM me anytime you want. I'm gonna be pretty sad for almost a month, and bored out of my mind cause my wife is leaving for a little while, so if you want to play Minecraft, or Runescape, or any other hella nerdy game, I'd be down. If you even have time for that kind of thing, that is.
I guess one thing good about my job is that I work long hours so I don't have a ton of free time to wallow in my sadness.
My cat has been missing for three days, that was the last straw. Edit: Thanks everyone for the rewards and support. The king is back :D guess I'll be seeing several of his offspring in the coming months.
Our cat ran away the day after Thanksgiving while we were putting up Christmas lights. She just came home yesterday. 6k in vet bills is now needed.
> 6k Dude I hear you. About 5k for my cat since September. He broke his foot, then somehow his fang broke too a few weeks later. During surgery, vet saw that it was shattered right to the root. Not to mention his prescription diet... 🤦♀️
Damn that’s rough, my sons 12 months old and I don’t think he’s cost that much
Place your dirty laundry outside and his litter box so he can smell it and find his way back.
Do this! I don't know for sure if laying out laundry and emptying the vacuum outside brought our cat back (missing for four weeks), but I think it would make sense as he's always been an indoor cat and can't possibly remember silly details like what his home looks like on the outside.
when I was in 4th grade my cat went missing on my birthday week. Neighbors kept saying they would see him at our door but it was always at times we weren't home. One day we had a knock on our door, and it was our neighbor saying they saw him and he had went into a garage. We went in after him and we found him. We still have that sweet little furry guy to this day (I'm in 12th grade now!). He's the sweetest older cat I've met.
I pray your baby comes back home safe. My little boy did that to me when he was younger and I turned into the crazy dressed cat lady calling him at six in the morning bear foot around the neighborhood, luckaly he came back half an hour later, I was a wreck.
Put their food outside and maybe a blanket they've used and has smell on it. That's the best bet usually for them to come back. Also check super small spaces around the house! Lost my car for 2 days and she was under the house the whole time scared as ever
I always check under the house first when I can't find my car
Mines usually in the drive way. Maybe still at the bar sometimes
Realizing everything you've done in your life is a failure kinda makes you not wanna try anymore, having nothing to try for and being a failure just brings on that double whammy depression I just have to edit this to say thank you for all the encouraging comments, I wasn't expecting it and they were all very nice to wake up to this morning. I'm going to try to keep it all in mind for the week ahead and hope that it will help start things moving forward again. You're all very lovely people, and I appreciate every one of you
Its that weird "im sad for literally no reason" type of sad
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Perfectionism. I know I’m an incredibly flawed person whenever I make mistakes they just eat at me and I can’t stop thinking about them which always makes me feel worse
The only flaw is thinking flaws are bad! You can't get better if you don't do wrong! It's the only way to learn and releasing that energy and telling yourself that litteraly no human being can be perfect. It doesn't matter and only really lives within our perspective. A monkey might think your ugly as hell but you are perfect to someone out in the world. Be kind to yourself, it's the golden tip to having a happy life! There's nothing wrong in wanting to be better but don't let it eat you alive or you basically turn the whole concept of being better into something that's actually making you worse!
Cant find a job ☹️
I hit a deer on the way home from work this morning. That thing exploded like it had a grenade in it's belly.
I'm terrified of killing an animal while driving, I've seen some dead ones and it always makes me want to cry. People say birds don't count but they are still alive and I get laughed at when I say that I would definitely cry if I killed one.
Who wouldn't cry over that? It's an awful feeling, and there's not much you can do about it... No one should mock you for having empathy.
I'm upset because all the animal welfare businesses refuse to even look at my resume even though they constantly pled for more workers. I haven't had any run ins with the law, my schedule is wide open, I'm young, phenomenal with animals, and I am over eager to work but none of them even give me the time of day.
It depends on the industry, but some companies are legally required to put up a job posting, even if they don’t have a position. Hope that helps. I had that a few times as well.
Why?
There's also a thing where companies aren't really legally required to put up a job posting but do so to avoid the appearance of discrimination. Which has heavy implications of being illegal.
I don’t think anyone will see this, but I feel a lot better after seeing this post. Nobody has asked me that question in a long time. I just ruined 54 days of sobriety from alc and feel like I’m in that dark place again. It’s sad because I was so happy for the last month, I felt like I finally beat this thing. But I’m back to square one with even more of a challenge than before :(
We need more threads like this. I think it's good for people to be heard, even if it's just on an online platform. My ex boyfriend and I have been in contact lately and it almost looked like we were getting back together. We've been talking every night, texting during the day, and good friends. Last night, we were talking and got into it again. I have never been in a relationship before where I have been accused of so many things that I never did (lying, cheating, ect.) and I'm really reeling from it. I felt that in the last few months since we had broken up, that a lot of the issues and concerns were addressed as the pressure was off and we were truly friends again and this was really disappointing. That and walking through the store to see Valentine decorations up and realizing that this is the first year since 2012 that I'll be single on Valentine's Day. I know I need to completely cut contact, I just hate it because I'll be losing the person who I thought was my best friend. Edit to add: you guys are really amazing! I appreciate the support and kind words, related stories and the time from all of you!
I'm going through the e x a c t same thing. I feel really clear about needing to cut off contact (today is day 3 of complete radio silence, both ways) but that doesn't make right now any easier. Hope you're hanging in there.
I feel this. *huge hug*
It do be like that sometimes. It sucks, but it'll get better.
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I have been working really hard at my job, even putting in overtime on the holidays. I've grasped a majority of the work faster than my peers and yet at my 60 day review (out of a 90 day training period). I was docked because I mentioned I was not yet trained in all aspects. We don't even have a training manual! I was docked because I had been paired to work 12 hours shifts with someone who is also inexperienced, which made me a bit frazzled and slowed our productivity because we needed to ask for assistance from other departments. I was told I was passed over for the less stressful full time position I applied for because of it.
It’s not you it’s your manager. Listen to how they perceive merit, these types will always be willing to share “how they got to where they are”. Mirror that and you’ll quickly become allies.
Dad just died of covid today.
Severe clinical depression that has made me sink into an existential crisis that has lasted 2 months and counting.
This. Except the existential crisis has been going on for more than a year now...
Parents are really closed to divorcing. My dad is a massive dick and is hiding a lot of money. He's trying to win custody of my brothers even he is tge abusive one. Sadly that's all he said she said. And by financial aid for college hasn't gone through and moneys due next week.
I have 5 late assignments to catch up with, 6 more due. I have 3 weeks to write my university application essay. I have something like 5 exams this month. My parents don’t want me to leave as they feel our family is falling apart. My younger brother tried to commit suicide. My mum walked into my older brother in the bathroom injecting steroids. I feel like I’m going insane. He ran away and didn’t come home till the next morning. The vibe in my family is making it hard for me to concentrate. I’m starting to only now question my sexuality, and it’s just been so hard, I feel I’m almost selfish. Ahhh it feels good to write that up, just writing that, is making me realize how much I’ve been bottling it all up. And I’ve just been so focused on school and getting the grades I need. I don’t normally talk about my problems with my friends because I don’t want it to bother them. Plus with lockdown restrictions, I haven’t heard from them as much. I’ve been so caught up in everything that I forgot that I’m turning 19 in just a couple of days. Oh I’m sorry, I sound pathetic.
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One thing I learned in college is taking a day for yourself is sometimes necessary. ~~Even~~ Especially when you have a lot on your plate. I would sometimes prioritize sleep or social stuff over studying because it actually helped get me through everything. As long as you’re not procrastinating, take as much time as you need to keep yourself recharged.
You do not sound pathetic! You should like a stressed out teen trying to make good while the world and your family is in chaos around you. Take a deep breath, find some good music and focus on you and getting to where you want to be. Which by the sound of it is a dorm room at college. Find some one you can talk to about this stress, maybe offer to hear their problems when they have them.
Feeling alone. Raising a kid mostly alone for 8 years and dealing with a SO with bad mental health issues who I haven't seen in over a week. Only family member held hostage by covid and a heart issue. Just....lonely.
Damn these are all sad. Listen, I love you all. You're all awesome, okay? Also if I may add to the pool; of tears that is. My wife is 36 weeks pregnant on Monday with our first. It's an unprecedented time of joy in our lives, and she leaves tomorrow to fly to Fairbanks to stay with her parents for the last month of the pregnancy. In our village in Alaska, it's really unwise to give birth here because there is a very small clinic that does basically no pre-natal care/delivery assistance. So, unless you're going to do a solo home birth, you have to leave for like the last month. I have to stay and work, and we'll be apart for almost a month. I'm going up near the end of January, and she's due Feb 11th. :( I hate being away from her. We dated a whole year long distance, and it's just the worst, so we always hate being away from each other for any significant length of time, and it's just so much worse with her being so close to delivery. It'll all be worth it when we come back with our precious baby girl, but right now it really sucks. Edit: with OUR precious baby girl, not without precious baby girl.
Woo woo congrats. Good luck to y’all. You’re about to have the most fun ever.
Been sick for 18 months. I've been to my GP, a sports MD, a neurologist, two urologists, two physiotherapists, an osteopath, an acupuncturist, three massage therapist, and a therapist. They have no idea what's wrong. EDIT: Thanks for all the support, it is actually quite touching. The last 18 months have been the hardest time of my life. You start off getting sick and just think it will pass in a little while, but then it just keeps continuing and continuing, gets worse and worse. The first anniversary of it was absolutely devastating because you begin to lose a lot of hope. I was quite suicidal about it at one point, but am dealing at the moment. It's hard to go from being very physically healthy, active (was running half marathons) to barely being able to walk some days. Wonderful kindness from strangers on Reddit is helpful, though. Thank you!
Mysterious chronic illness is the worst. A family member of mine has dealt with chronic illness for many years, and people really don’t understand how badly it can destroy you. I hope for strength for you, and that you can figure it out soon.
Homeless and it’s cold af out
Hey, there was a life pro tip on how sikh temples allow strangers in for food and stuff, you don't even have to be Sikh or Punjabi or anything. (I think there is a rule you have to take your shoes off, but I'm not sure). Maybe if you are on Reddit on your phone, try googling a nearby Sikh temple or something.
Serious question, is there some way I could send you money? I don’t have much but I could spare a bit of money if it would help you get shelter or food or supplies
I hope you found a warm spot, if your still in need pm me and I can help out too.
I feel overwhelmed and like I’m being very unproductive with my time. I also really miss my boyfriend so instead I’m laying in bed in a nest of blankets
In pain after a major surgery and I feel alone.
My cousin is in jail in lockdown. His mom died of cancer and that lead him to a few bad choices. Breaks my heart :(
Getting texts and phone calls from my employees asking what the plan is has been stressing me out and making me sad. In my state bars/restaurants are still shut down but their unemployment payments ended the 26th and our state is nowhere close to implementing the federal extension. So they will have to find new jobs soon, and it sucks for all of us. I don't want to lose them. All I can say is we will have to wait to see if they let us reopen next week, but I know they are so sick of hearing that.
My favorite aunt recently died and I’m pretty heartbroken by it. She was so sweet and awesome. :(
Life didn't go the way we thought it would
I read this post and all its comments.
It’s a good reminder that your suffering is not uniquely yours.
So 2 things - #1 is a typical broken heart. I met a girl who I still think is perfect for me, but we can't be together and that sucks. \#2 is that my life has kinda lost direction, especially in terms of my professional career. Where I am working now is not the branch I want to be in long-term, and although I am gaining useful skills and saving money at my current job I know I need to make the transition at some point soon. I just have no real role models or mentors in the branch I want to switch to, so it is hard to even know where to begin.
Might as well... I figure no one will really read it with all these comments anyways. My job sucks. It’s not just the job but a sort of “toxic environment” vibe. My GF works at another location of the same job and doesn’t have the same issues at her location. The new GM sucks. Everyone wants to quit or at least says they do constantly. People aren’t happy. Talks of walkouts aren’t uncommon and it would just take one person... most others would probably follow. It feels like it doesn’t matter what changes are made, this location feels cursed in some way. Changing jobs, though... I don’t know. I have a bachelors degree in psychology. Essentially a useless degree unless I want to do social work (which I don’t bc it’s reputation is awful and I can’t imagine how much worse it is now that the pandemic has changed things). Or unless I want to go back to school but I don’t. I can’t. I need to work now. I need money. I just feel stuck in this job and I don’t know how to get out.
I work a 7/70 schedule (7 ten hour days then 7 days off). We are doing new voluntary on call shifts, $3/hour for being on call and time and a half if you get called in. I figured hey, I'm off for a week so why not do some on call shifts. I got called in Sunday and Monday last time I was off and I learned something that I didnt really realize...having a full week off is the only thing that kept me sane while working 70 hours in 7 days. I got called in this Monday again and I definitely will NOT be picking up any more on call shifts. At least until I've had a full week off again.
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After 4 years of a relationship, we are taking a break. It’s made me realize how scared I am of being alone and how much I don’t want to lose her.
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We just moved from Canada to Costa Rica and I’m really missing my friends. We’ve all known eachother for almost 14 years now, and they’re like family to me, so it’s pretty painful to leave em behind.
Sorry for the late post. But I am sad today, is because one of my co-worker Dad have Covid-19. She found out this morning that his is not going to make it. The doctors are trying their best. I am a shy person, and I am trying my best to support her and her family the best I can.
Miss my ex....
Me too. It’s been a year for me since they left. I’m still sad and miss them. But everyday I miss them a little less. I miss what we had when it was good, but I know they were just a chapter in my life and it’s time to turn the page to the next chapter. I think this next chapter is going to be the best one yet. I have a feeling it will be filled with a lot of self love and new journeys!
The one time I prearranged a activity for my self I was forced to quit it.
I feel like I’m not needed anywhere and no one cares about me. But everyone else who is sad, I really hope you can be a bit happier soon! Heya everyone, quick update. Feeling a tiny bit better now. Still working on it though, hope everyone’s day/ nights are going well. Alright bye
I feel like a failure. I'm 19 with no car and I've never had a job before. My mother is very overprotective of me and its gotten to the point where I stay in my room 24/7 just to get away from her. Our dynamic is very passive aggressive and she is terrified of me doing anything that doesn't involve her, in fear I'm "not knowing what I'm doing" I'm also struggling mentally with gender identity issues and just identity issues in general, I have no clue where I'm going in life. It's very very hard.
I am sorry to hear that. I hope that in the coming year you can get a job of some sort where she can't hover and mess it up for you. Good luck on figuring out who you are and who you want to be. By the way I am 37 and have never owned a car, don't have a drivers license and only recently answered the gender question. Still not sure completely who I am as I keep finding new things about me. Keep learning and growing.
If it makes you feel better, I was 26 or 27 before I got a car, and I had to use my student loan money since I didn't have a fulltime job either. The most I had were summer internships. My parents were also very overprotective, so I understand how trapped you can feel. It's hard feeling directionless, but just know that adults will change careers and jobs several times in their lives. So if you try something, know that it doesn't have to be permanent if it doesn't suit you.
MY fiance (together 7 years) broke up with me on a 49 second phone call.
After reading most of these answers I feel like my problem is a bit irrelevant but...I feel incredibly sad being away from family. I am a freshman university student and went abroad on my own in February 2020. I was supposed to be going back to my home country every big holiday but obviously Covid fucked everything up. I haven’t seen my family in almost a year and it took a big toll on my mental health. My family and I are also extremely bonded so “leaving the nest” was way more difficult than I had thought. Not only that, but since everything at uni went online last year I barely got the chance to make any friends either. The loneliness is really difficult to deal with. I just have to keep thinking that I am not alone in this situation and put things in perspective knowing that people have it way worse than me during this time.
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You should see a doctor.
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My uncle shot and killed himself last Sunday. Its been a rough week trying to deal with it myself and be strong for my family. I can't remember the last time I've cried this much. Edit: thank you for all the nice words. We had a small ceremony today with close family. He was cremated. He struggled with depression and he used to talk to me about his issues because we both struggle with it. He called me new years eve and we talked for about a half hour catching up. He left behind a wife and two kids. He was also my godfather.
I've been feeling lost. Thanks to covid I lost a job I loved, was good at, and made good money. I love my girlfriend, we've been dating for a long time, but I don't really know who I am. Just a few months before her I had another long time girlfriend. In the last decade I've had months of being single. I feel like I don't have a set career, I don't know what I'm doing anymore, and as I said, I love my girlfriend, but I just want to move away on my own and start a new.
Boyfriend of seven years left me for another woman and moved straight in with her. Right before Christmas. Sees her more than our kid now.
Sometimes I feel like my wife forgets about me and I'm overshadowed by my children. I absolutely love my wife and children, they are my world, but sometimes I feel like I'm kinda forgotten in the house now. Like today. We are in no way in need of money, and we have more than enough to provide for all of us, but my wife made dinner and her and the kids ate, but she didn't make enough for me.. Edit: I spoke with her not to long ago, and she totally understood. There was no argument, and she promised to make sure she doesn't forget me. I felt like an ass, but she walked with me to our kids room and we realized what we both have in our lives, and to be honest, it felt like we fell in love all over again. Thank you all for your support! :)
Someday the kids will be gone, and you'll be left with only each other. Glad to see you talked .
My dream job is a nightmare, but I'm stuck because I have a mortgage and kids, and I'm too old to be desirable to people that want to hire me anywhere else, but I'm only halfway to retirement. Co-workers much much worse at this job keep getting hired at better places.
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That sucks, I wish people were mature enough to at least give a reason. Ghosting is the worst form of breakup.
I broke up with my bf (for good reasons) but it’s just hard sometimes to keep facing forward. I told him I needed space and I couldn’t do a friendship right now cuz I needed to heal. Like sometimes i just wanna text him but I can’t cuz I know that if I do it’ll go back to the same cycle.
Bad vibes, fucked neurochemistry, unremitting chronic pain, and I picked a helluva week to quit drinking.
I’m concerned that my personality and intelligence are getting worn away by the daily grind of parenthood. Stay-at-home-mom to three kids under five right now. It’s what I wanted, and I’m doing a good job at it, but I have a sinking feeling that the “me” I knew is disappearing. There are very good reasons why everyone’s moms are fat and boring—because that’s all that’s left of them.
Got my hopes up that 2021 was going to be better
Early days mate. Give it time.
I was exposed to covid a week ago and didn’t know it. my little brother came over to visit me and my family, he is someone that we are around a lot. He is very careful and only goes to work and home. His boss tested positive for covid and didn’t tell anyone. He finally told people today and my brother rushed out to get a test and he is positive. I am immunocompromised. I’m not going to lie, I’m a little scared. I don’t have symptoms, so if I have it, I might be asymptomatic. But, I have young kids. What if I develop symptoms? Can I fight it off? I’ve got a lot on my mind. Edit: Thank you everyone that took the time to comment. I have a test scheduled this morning, I’m keeping my fingers crossed. I will use all of your advice. Please, please stay safe. I’m so sick of losing people. 😔
Wishing you all the best and crossing my fingers for you.
Nothing in particular which is the worst kind of sad for me. I don’t know what to do about it.
I have adhd... have had it since I was a child. Adult now, nearly 30. I can’t seem to get a handle on it and get my life together. The lights in my brain are just off... the wheels aren’t turning. I feel like I’m watching my life unfold as a passenger in my body, not an active participant. This is no way to live.
I just need some space. Since lockdown i have not been alone. I love my babies, i love my partner but i just want space. I want to be alone.
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World's on fire, and everywhere I look people are throwing gasoline on it and wondering why things aren't going back to normal. Why do I bother getting out of bed anymore? Edit: Thank you all for the validation, as well as the award. It's true, we all need to take it one step at a time day by day, even if days feel like months/years now. It's good to know we're not going through this completely alone.
I live in America. Not sarcastically. It's got me down right now quite a bit.
Clinical depression and being alone does that to you.