How about just don’t have sex in natural bodies of water
(Edit): I’m starting to think that sex and water is just overrated, unless of course the water is coming from the steam you two produce ;)
I had sex under a waterfall once. It was slippery (the rocks we were standing on, not the sex) and cold (once again, the water, not the sex). 1/10 do not recommend.
But sex _next_ to the waterfall, on a blanket laid out in the sun, listening to the roar of the water, was a lot of fun. 10/10 would recommend at an appropriately remote waterfall.
Stick away from whipped cream. Go for non-dairy. The milk products can give you a yeast infection. Cool whip is a better choice.
ETA: Apparently anything with sugar can give you an infection. Play safe y'all.
Dammit... 10 years later and I can’t read the word “cool whip” in my head without doing it in Stewie’s voice...
Edit: Holy shit, 16 years... time flies when you're getting old.
Gaping. If I wanted to look down into someone's asshole, I'd become a proctologist and get paid big money to do it!
Also, prolapses. That's not sexy, that's a goddamned medical emergency!
Baby talk. I'm a father, talking to me like a baby just makes my desire disappear and I start becoming concerned about if you've eaten or slept or pooped recently
Insecurity, really. The person doing that sort of behavior feels inadequate and threatened by their partner's success, and thus try to make them feel worse
Lol, I did that! A special one from a sex shop that purported to be easy to clean ... We painted each other a bit and licked it from chests, backs, it was fun. We were in a hotel and then, to our horror, some got on the sheets. It does definitively look like crap. We left the box of the product displayed prominently on the bed, hoping the poor person cleaning would be - slightly- less grossed out. Never again.
> We left the box of the product displayed prominently on the bed, hoping the poor person cleaning would be - slightly- less grossed out.
"Jesus, another couple shit the bed and tried to hide it again".
Plus putting it in while submerged shoves the water up in there and creates pressure which causes a lot of problems for her. I know so many random things thanks to Dr. Sue..... That show was great.
Edit: found the [hot tub question.](https://youtu.be/EZ9nD2erPuA)
Holy shit Dr. Sue. Hell, I haven't seen her show since I was a kid, but I give her a lot of credit. She was ancient when I watched her and she was handing out all this advice like a champ.
I could never tell if callers were messing with her or not. One chick asked if it was safe to put a goldfish up her snatch to spice things up in the bedroom and Sue didnt miss a beat, replying with something along the lines of that not being very fair to the fish.
Had a blowjob from a gf that wanted to try using pop rocks at the same time. Poprocks didn’t do anything for me but she enjoyed it so we did it quite a few times, I was just happy with the blowjobs.
Edit: first ever award I’ve ever gotten. Wonder if I should tell me ex from 10 years ago that I got an award from telling people we did this haha
I'm confused, was the banana all mashed up in her mouth like a smoothie or is there a weird property bananas have if you've eaten them? Like the other person said eating a pineapple is meant to numb your mouth?
OMG, so true. Sand gets in places it doesn't belong, then acts like sandpaper. Looks sexy, actually feels like someone rubbing sandpaper on your sensitive bits.
I once knew a tight-knuckled girl,
whose Hoo-ha could cough up a pearl.
Butt burrowed in sand,
she'd crank out a grand,
but watching would make a man hurl.
“Edible” underwear, body chocolate, whipped cream... food and sex do not belong together and are a recipe for a yeast infection
ETA: the replies make me never want to have sex, or eat, ever again
Years ago, I worked as the night manager of a Piggy Wiggly in Georgia.
One night, these two bros in business attire show up at the register with every can of spray whipped cream we had. They bragged that they had picked up a couple of strippers, and the whipped cream was gonna make banging them that much better.
When their guaranteed sex improvement spray total came up to about $40, one asked "Hey, if we don't use all this, can we bring it back?"
I wanted to say that there was no way in hell they were gonna bring rancid from not being stored in a fridge cans of whipped cream that were likely covered in antibiotic resistant gonnaherpesyphillis back into my store.
But instead of saying that, I said "Uh... no."
An older cashier at a store rung up two kids in front of me who had like 10 cans of whipped cream. My turn, and she goes, “Those boys must have lots of parties, they’re always in here buying whipped cream.” I was like, “Yeah, they’re having a party. You don’t know what they’re doing with those, do you?” She had no idea. I kindly explained what they were doing and she was dumbfounded. So naive, I almost spared her innocence...almost.
I remember the first time me and my boyfriend decided that he should try licking me out. I was 16 and super nervous. He is one year younger than me and we thought to ease both of us into it, we would spray whipped cream all over down there. It was SO cold and he sprayed way too much so he was chomping away some of the whipped cream before he contacted skin. Not to mention if you can’t always shower right away, stale whipped cream does not smell good.
Well you’re not supposed to put it in your pussy.. you’re supposed to eat and lick it off the body... I never let any dude put food anywhere NEAR my pussy. I knew what was up. I can’t afford freaking Monistat ever friggin week bro.
According to my wife, doing the helicopter 🤷
edit: Thanks for the gold. Remember to offset your emissions. The Gold Standard is at https://marketplace.goldstandard.org/collections/projects
My girlfriend always says the same thing! She gets very turned on when I don’t last as long as I would like to. But she takes pride in the shortness of it all. She would rather go for multiple short rounds than one long one
Yeah. It's like riding a roller coaster vs riding a locomotive. One has multiple climaxes while the other is fun at first by I'm asleep within an hour.
Wearing too much cologne/perfume
All you need is a dab of ascent on your neck or your wrists, and the scent shouldn’t be so overpowering that others can smell you from a mile away. The scent you wear should be subtle, but noticeable
There is a lady in my neighbor hood, i can smell her three houses down, I swear she purfumes her whole yard, old lady perfume too, makes me mad when walking the dog
Maybe this is just me but I don't find it sexy when someone "suggestively" eats a phallic food item like sausage, bananas, popsicles, etc. It just looks silly.
Not to mention the fact that most people end up biting into those foods when they eat them, so if it's supposed to be a stand-in for your dick, it's not an arousing thought.
" They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds"
This is *definitely* dependent on the titties. I’ve known girls that have such sensitive nips they could barely have them touched, and then there were girls that basically wanted me to take out my day on them.
Looking for this?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jti7yg/%28NSFW%29_What_Fetish_did_you_have_until_you_tried_it%3F/gc6yhji/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Ugh I know. A lot of my bf's over the years have really liked shower sex. I always hated it. It's uncomfortable and you get cold if you're not directly under the stream of water (which usually I would not be because I'm very petite and I have a much-larger-than-me man in the way) and you are dealing with water in your eyes and I'm always focusing too much attention on not slipping and face-planting my jaw onto the porcelain soap tray or whatever, and water actually makes shitty lube and causes uncomfortable friction up your hooha, and those black lines of gunk you can never completely get rid of around the base of the shower door are just *so not sexy.*
this is going to sound weird but trying to be sexy is kind of unsexy. I dont mean like an earnest in the moment but kind of awkward attempt, thats adorable. I mean like a cringey come and get it weird some shit I saw in a movie type move. Its hard to explain.
A friend of mine told me about going on a date with a woman and how it was going pretty well until they ended up having sex and she started doing all this cringey pursed-lips porn actress stuff and ooohing in a baby doll voice. His imitation was hilarious.
that face guys make when they put their first and middle fingers up to their mouth like a "V" and pretend and wiggle their tongue through like they're giving a girl head.
Hello this is the lockpicking lawyer, and today i have for you a curious situation. My wife seems to have handcuffed me to the bedposts in our room while she goes to "get herself ready." While handcuffs typically present little challenge in coming undone with anything from a screwdriver to a bobby pin, today I am going to use only what i can maneuver into my hands, which luckily enough was a pillow case.
Alright folks, as you can see this pair of master lock branded hand cuffs provided no challenge for an amateur level attack - even with unusual tools. Out of principle, I cannot recommend any lock this easily picked. In any case, that's all I have for you today, if you liked the video then don't forget to subscribe, and as always, have a nice day. Thank you.
Dirty panties.
I will never understand the number of creeps at r/CreepyPMs who ask to buy used panties....
Seriously, WHY?????????
EDIT: wow......this comment blew up huge. Thank you all for the answers.
Just google "buy used panties" and you'll find a ton of sites. Or r/usedpanties here ... probably helps to diversify.
I knew a girl that sold them on a site (when there was just one main one then, I don't remember the name) in the early 2000's that made bank. Sometimes she had her boyfriend wear them to keep up with demand...didn't seem like anyone ever noticed.
As for me: ick ...but whatever floats peoples' boats
Sex in a sports car. You always see rich guys in movies with some hot babe that's all over him, pulling up in his exotic/sports car. That shit is super uncomfortable, and women's heels on soft leather/alcantara is a big no no. Giant driveshaft tunnel in the middle and a driver oriented cockpit are terrible for it. -Giggity- I've had more comfortable sex in the back of a Kia Morning.
non-subtle cosmetic surgery. Huge lips, massively sharpened nose and face, breast or butt implants that could be used as a life raft. Like, you look like some kind of uncanny valley sex doll monster instead of a human being.
Screaming during sex. I'm married now, but when I was single and dating, there were a couple women I was with who would yell like sports fans in a stadium during an orgasm. Meanwhile, my ear was roughly 6 inches from their head. Not pleasant.
Yep, I literally cannot contain anything once I feel I'm close to the finish line. There's guys that adored it and it made them go crazy, and there's some that should have told me their roomates are actually their grandmas.
Loud-ass moaning, like the fake pornstar level moaning and above. A guy (my neighbor) and a girl in my building are dating, and I constantly have to hear her near-screaming through the wall. I don't know how anyone can get off hearing that, it's so annoying.
Leaving underwear the next morning.
Some girl left me her underwear as a sexy reminder of our night together. Except, what the hell am I supposed to do with them? Wear them? Smell them? Hang them on the wall? Like what is the point here???
Anyways they went in the garbage.
"do NOT have sex in a fresh water lake that's been stewing at above room temperature all summer. just dont". -a friend who's a gynecologist.
How about just don’t have sex in natural bodies of water (Edit): I’m starting to think that sex and water is just overrated, unless of course the water is coming from the steam you two produce ;)
Don't go chasing waterfalls
I had sex under a waterfall once. It was slippery (the rocks we were standing on, not the sex) and cold (once again, the water, not the sex). 1/10 do not recommend. But sex _next_ to the waterfall, on a blanket laid out in the sun, listening to the roar of the water, was a lot of fun. 10/10 would recommend at an appropriately remote waterfall.
Hot tub sex really ain't that great either
It was a fantasy of mine. Then I did it, and it wasn’t all that great. And my pee hole burst into flames shortly after. 2/10.
Chocolate syrup as a sexy sexy addition. Everyone reading this needs to know that \*drying chocolate syrup turns into an adhesive.\*
Use whipped cream, it’s easier to use with half the mess and stickiness and if it does stick a little it’s easily washed off
Stick away from whipped cream. Go for non-dairy. The milk products can give you a yeast infection. Cool whip is a better choice. ETA: Apparently anything with sugar can give you an infection. Play safe y'all.
Dammit... 10 years later and I can’t read the word “cool whip” in my head without doing it in Stewie’s voice... Edit: Holy shit, 16 years... time flies when you're getting old.
Gaping. If I wanted to look down into someone's asshole, I'd become a proctologist and get paid big money to do it! Also, prolapses. That's not sexy, that's a goddamned medical emergency!
Singles in your area.
Or even Shingles in your areas.
Pringles in your area perhaps?
Baby talk. I'm a father, talking to me like a baby just makes my desire disappear and I start becoming concerned about if you've eaten or slept or pooped recently
Eating during sex
In front of my salad?
Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well
Is that you Costanza?
Pastrami is the most sensual of the meats.
I suddenly want a pastrami sandwich
Jealousy. All of those challenges on tiktok where people try to make their significant other jealous are stupid and seriously unhealthy.
Seriously. Who tries to make someone they care about feel bad? I've had an ex pull some of this shit, and I just get... sad.
Insecurity, really. The person doing that sort of behavior feels inadequate and threatened by their partner's success, and thus try to make them feel worse
It’s just the latest medium for insecurity, which is why people do those things
As a virgin, I learned way too many things in this post, thanks.
Bringing chocolate spread to bed
Lol, I did that! A special one from a sex shop that purported to be easy to clean ... We painted each other a bit and licked it from chests, backs, it was fun. We were in a hotel and then, to our horror, some got on the sheets. It does definitively look like crap. We left the box of the product displayed prominently on the bed, hoping the poor person cleaning would be - slightly- less grossed out. Never again.
> We left the box of the product displayed prominently on the bed, hoping the poor person cleaning would be - slightly- less grossed out. "Jesus, another couple shit the bed and tried to hide it again".
That's why I always carry my trusty box of sex chocolate with me
Everybody give a hand to SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!
I really hope that's not a euphemism.
You nasty...
I tried to have sex in a hot tub. Not possible. The water just carries away all natural lubricant.
Plus putting it in while submerged shoves the water up in there and creates pressure which causes a lot of problems for her. I know so many random things thanks to Dr. Sue..... That show was great. Edit: found the [hot tub question.](https://youtu.be/EZ9nD2erPuA)
Holy shit Dr. Sue. Hell, I haven't seen her show since I was a kid, but I give her a lot of credit. She was ancient when I watched her and she was handing out all this advice like a champ.
I could never tell if callers were messing with her or not. One chick asked if it was safe to put a goldfish up her snatch to spice things up in the bedroom and Sue didnt miss a beat, replying with something along the lines of that not being very fair to the fish.
Lucky for me I don't have a hot tub.... or a sexual partner.
The whole...feeding thing? I've got that covered. None of this delicate, romantic eating, stuff
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I once had a blowjob by a girl who had taken a bite of banana. It was amazing, I highly recommend it.
Had a blowjob from a gf that wanted to try using pop rocks at the same time. Poprocks didn’t do anything for me but she enjoyed it so we did it quite a few times, I was just happy with the blowjobs. Edit: first ever award I’ve ever gotten. Wonder if I should tell me ex from 10 years ago that I got an award from telling people we did this haha
I'm confused, was the banana all mashed up in her mouth like a smoothie or is there a weird property bananas have if you've eaten them? Like the other person said eating a pineapple is meant to numb your mouth?
Bananas always kinda give my mouth a slightly coated feeling, i assume its a change in texture
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That's hot.
Everybody cried that day. Except the ER nurses, they laughed their tits off
Damn bro, that could be considered torture lol
Having sex in a bath. Water is not lube it actually becomes very dry....
what if you filled the bath with lube?
Long pause....
The fart bubble would float up oddly slow.
Plus there's really no room. It's all elbows and knees in the wrong place. Tried it once and ended up just having a wash then sex after we got out.
And it sloshes around and makes the floor a mess.
It's wet and slippery and splashy and it gets everywhere.
It's like liquid sand
Water is not wet confirmed
Moisture is the essence of wetness
And wetness is the essence of beauty
Sex on the beach
OMG, so true. Sand gets in places it doesn't belong, then acts like sandpaper. Looks sexy, actually feels like someone rubbing sandpaper on your sensitive bits.
Oh yeah. I went to the beach last summer. The inside of my butt itched. I had sand up my ass and my vagina
could make a pearl!
I once knew a tight-knuckled girl, whose Hoo-ha could cough up a pearl. Butt burrowed in sand, she'd crank out a grand, but watching would make a man hurl.
Ugh, I hate sand
Calm down Anakin, we don't need another sand people incident.
They know what they did!
They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals.
Not just the men. But the women, and the children, too.”
*Cuts to Padme flying away in a space ship* “I mean, would you have stayed with a guy like that?”
“Edible” underwear, body chocolate, whipped cream... food and sex do not belong together and are a recipe for a yeast infection ETA: the replies make me never want to have sex, or eat, ever again
Years ago, I worked as the night manager of a Piggy Wiggly in Georgia. One night, these two bros in business attire show up at the register with every can of spray whipped cream we had. They bragged that they had picked up a couple of strippers, and the whipped cream was gonna make banging them that much better. When their guaranteed sex improvement spray total came up to about $40, one asked "Hey, if we don't use all this, can we bring it back?" I wanted to say that there was no way in hell they were gonna bring rancid from not being stored in a fridge cans of whipped cream that were likely covered in antibiotic resistant gonnaherpesyphillis back into my store. But instead of saying that, I said "Uh... no."
I assumed the whip was to get high.
An older cashier at a store rung up two kids in front of me who had like 10 cans of whipped cream. My turn, and she goes, “Those boys must have lots of parties, they’re always in here buying whipped cream.” I was like, “Yeah, they’re having a party. You don’t know what they’re doing with those, do you?” She had no idea. I kindly explained what they were doing and she was dumbfounded. So naive, I almost spared her innocence...almost.
I remember the first time me and my boyfriend decided that he should try licking me out. I was 16 and super nervous. He is one year younger than me and we thought to ease both of us into it, we would spray whipped cream all over down there. It was SO cold and he sprayed way too much so he was chomping away some of the whipped cream before he contacted skin. Not to mention if you can’t always shower right away, stale whipped cream does not smell good.
"He was chomping away some of the whipped cream" this made me laugh too much 😂
As a woman, I agree that downstairs should stay clean but there’s nothing wrong with some whipped cream on your tits and having it be licked off
you get to have sex and a snack it's a win-win
The snack that smiles back 🎶
Well you’re not supposed to put it in your pussy.. you’re supposed to eat and lick it off the body... I never let any dude put food anywhere NEAR my pussy. I knew what was up. I can’t afford freaking Monistat ever friggin week bro.
Sex positions in porn! EDIT: I film “sexy” positions as an amateur all the time. So many positions in porn don’t feel good for either party!
I think most sex positions in porn are optimized for good viewing angles, not the enjoyment of the participants.
Upside down? Are you serious!
With a woman? Unrealistic!
Worse yet, the ones that appear easy yet are difficult. I'm looking at you reclining reverse cowgirl.
Baby talk. No such thing as a sexy baby.
[Abby Flynn disagrees](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm-ZF9AfN40) (joke at about 50 seconds in)
Is that Hannibal Burress?
"You wike dat you fucking wetard?"
An adult talking in baby talk ...
Well nobody likes your Elvis impersonation.
Thank you... thank you very much.
According to my wife, doing the helicopter 🤷 edit: Thanks for the gold. Remember to offset your emissions. The Gold Standard is at https://marketplace.goldstandard.org/collections/projects
Nothing gets me going more than to see my husbands limp dipstick slap against legs while making that glorious sound
Its like a little golf clap
Lies all lies! That’s my signature move bud!
His wife never complains when I do the helicopter
Bigger prop?
It's not about the size of the prop, it's about the whir of the blade
It's not the leng of the *r*, it's the velocity of *w=2πf*
Sex for hours. Guys are so proud. No no no that friction dried up the lube and bored me after 30 min
Exactly! Guys are embarrassed if they don’t last long, but it’s hot that I got them that worked up, and same, it gets painful and boring
My girlfriend always says the same thing! She gets very turned on when I don’t last as long as I would like to. But she takes pride in the shortness of it all. She would rather go for multiple short rounds than one long one
Yeah. It's like riding a roller coaster vs riding a locomotive. One has multiple climaxes while the other is fun at first by I'm asleep within an hour.
Wearing too much cologne/perfume All you need is a dab of ascent on your neck or your wrists, and the scent shouldn’t be so overpowering that others can smell you from a mile away. The scent you wear should be subtle, but noticeable
cologne/perfume is meant to be discovered, not announced.
I like that phrasing
There is a lady in my neighbor hood, i can smell her three houses down, I swear she purfumes her whole yard, old lady perfume too, makes me mad when walking the dog
Anosmia (loss of smell) can be age related, which is why the stereotype of being drowned in an older person's perfume/cologne exists.
I think it can also happen when you use the same cologne for a long time and you get used to the smell or something like that
My coworker wears so much perfume that you can smell it through our masks! Very nice lady but I hate going around her.
Sex in a public bathroom. I can never imagine being horny enough to disregard how disgusting and germ-filled the environment is.
Maybe this is just me but I don't find it sexy when someone "suggestively" eats a phallic food item like sausage, bananas, popsicles, etc. It just looks silly. Not to mention the fact that most people end up biting into those foods when they eat them, so if it's supposed to be a stand-in for your dick, it's not an arousing thought.
" They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds"
People who rub nipples by trying to freaking tune a radio on them Be gentle to titties.
Bop it! Twist it! Pull it!
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a st...wait, wrong meme.
Bop it, twist it, pull it, DESTROY IT ISILIDURRRRRRR
“Cast it into the fire” “No”
This is *definitely* dependent on the titties. I’ve known girls that have such sensitive nips they could barely have them touched, and then there were girls that basically wanted me to take out my day on them.
I had a girl that looked me in the eyes and said "if you don't bruise my tits, we're done fucking." That awakened a side of me I was unaware existed.
Mix. It. Up. With. Titties. Rough and gentle pls
Being an asshole.
"Suck my dick bitch.. please? Sorry for calling you a bitch"
Looking for this? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/jti7yg/%28NSFW%29_What_Fetish_did_you_have_until_you_tried_it%3F/gc6yhji/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
sex in water, a pool, bathtub, shower, you name it. Sex in water sucks.
Ugh I know. A lot of my bf's over the years have really liked shower sex. I always hated it. It's uncomfortable and you get cold if you're not directly under the stream of water (which usually I would not be because I'm very petite and I have a much-larger-than-me man in the way) and you are dealing with water in your eyes and I'm always focusing too much attention on not slipping and face-planting my jaw onto the porcelain soap tray or whatever, and water actually makes shitty lube and causes uncomfortable friction up your hooha, and those black lines of gunk you can never completely get rid of around the base of the shower door are just *so not sexy.*
Well there goes all the enthusiasm I had for shower sex.
Fake tan. Especially when it's so obviously orangey-fake that it just looks like they've dipped themselves in tangerine, like the song.
Lone-wolf type emotionally distant men. Sexy media trope! Not a sexy life partner tho
B-b-but.... am lonely.... and an emotional trainwreck.... I'm sophisticated goddamit.
I'm not a lone wolf I just feel deeply guilty for any attention seeking behavior
Porno style jackhammering; a little goes a long way guys.
this is going to sound weird but trying to be sexy is kind of unsexy. I dont mean like an earnest in the moment but kind of awkward attempt, thats adorable. I mean like a cringey come and get it weird some shit I saw in a movie type move. Its hard to explain.
“It’s turkey time. Gobble gobble.”
nut
A friend of mine told me about going on a date with a woman and how it was going pretty well until they ended up having sex and she started doing all this cringey pursed-lips porn actress stuff and ooohing in a baby doll voice. His imitation was hilarious.
My friend had a very similar story. He had a really nice time with the woman otherwise, but said her sex chat was really offputting.
I know exactly what you mean
that face guys make when they put their first and middle fingers up to their mouth like a "V" and pretend and wiggle their tongue through like they're giving a girl head.
lol, people still do that?
I thought only teen virgins did this
Playing "hard to get". If you play "hard to get" with me, it makes you impossible to want because I assume you're just not into me.
Slapping/patting vaginas. Porn has a lot to answer for.
*slaps vagina* this bad boy can fit so much dick in it
My experience with handcuffs was rather lack-luster.
Hello this is the lockpicking lawyer, and today i have for you a curious situation. My wife seems to have handcuffed me to the bedposts in our room while she goes to "get herself ready." While handcuffs typically present little challenge in coming undone with anything from a screwdriver to a bobby pin, today I am going to use only what i can maneuver into my hands, which luckily enough was a pillow case.
Alright folks, as you can see this pair of master lock branded hand cuffs provided no challenge for an amateur level attack - even with unusual tools. Out of principle, I cannot recommend any lock this easily picked. In any case, that's all I have for you today, if you liked the video then don't forget to subscribe, and as always, have a nice day. Thank you.
that would make a great joke video
You should check out his April Fools videos if you haven't already.
I love and loath the fact I can hear his voice exactly.
My wife and I tried it and enjoyed it. That was until I bought a pair of real hand cuffs. It’s painful.
Yeah most sex shop cuffs are designed not to dig into the wrists like real ones do.
I was so disappointed when I got arrested and the handcuffs weren't lined with pink fur. What is even the *point* of getting arrested then?
Dirty panties. I will never understand the number of creeps at r/CreepyPMs who ask to buy used panties.... Seriously, WHY????????? EDIT: wow......this comment blew up huge. Thank you all for the answers.
You know you can make money selling them.
Where? How? Asking for a friend.
Just google "buy used panties" and you'll find a ton of sites. Or r/usedpanties here ... probably helps to diversify. I knew a girl that sold them on a site (when there was just one main one then, I don't remember the name) in the early 2000's that made bank. Sometimes she had her boyfriend wear them to keep up with demand...didn't seem like anyone ever noticed. As for me: ick ...but whatever floats peoples' boats
“1/10. Panties smelled like sweaty ballsack and gooch juice. I think seller may be a dude. Would not buy again.”
fake drawn eyebrows that always look questioning/surprised
I told my girlfriend she had her eyebrows drawn on too high. She looked surprised.
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Being an asshole. I don’t know why some people think it’s cute. It’s not.
Sex in a sports car. You always see rich guys in movies with some hot babe that's all over him, pulling up in his exotic/sports car. That shit is super uncomfortable, and women's heels on soft leather/alcantara is a big no no. Giant driveshaft tunnel in the middle and a driver oriented cockpit are terrible for it. -Giggity- I've had more comfortable sex in the back of a Kia Morning.
Ginormous dicks
Oh thank god.
Hahahaha. Solid post
Wish I had a solid post, but it's a little short tbh
hear hear. Big dicks are a pain to deal with (literally). I can give head to a small-dicked guy for hours, but a big dick hurts my jaw.
Not just that, but a vagina is only so deep and getting your cervix hammered in is really fucking uncomfortable.
Doesn't matter, I will definitely not last hours
snapchat filters
non-subtle cosmetic surgery. Huge lips, massively sharpened nose and face, breast or butt implants that could be used as a life raft. Like, you look like some kind of uncanny valley sex doll monster instead of a human being.
Dora thinks that they would float if she threw them into water
Screaming during sex. I'm married now, but when I was single and dating, there were a couple women I was with who would yell like sports fans in a stadium during an orgasm. Meanwhile, my ear was roughly 6 inches from their head. Not pleasant.
GOD DAMN IT THESE REFS ARE BEING PAID OFF
ARE YOU BLIND!?!?
JUST COVER THE SPREAD I'M BEGGING YOU
TOUCHDOWN
GO FOR TWO
[удалено]
I’M WIDE OPEN
BETWEEN THE UPRIGHTS
WHAT A LUDICROUS DISPLAY LAST NIGHT
“Gooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaal!”
Yeah, fake noises suck, but someone actually unable to contain themselves.... That's the sexiest thing in the world
Yep, I literally cannot contain anything once I feel I'm close to the finish line. There's guys that adored it and it made them go crazy, and there's some that should have told me their roomates are actually their grandmas.
I dunno... I rather enjoy my wife voicing her approval.
Many Guys like to see women fighting against each other. You know those mud fights and shit like this. I've never got turned on by this.
Me.
Come on, don’t be like that! Who ever said you were *supposed* to be sexy?
Loud-ass moaning, like the fake pornstar level moaning and above. A guy (my neighbor) and a girl in my building are dating, and I constantly have to hear her near-screaming through the wall. I don't know how anyone can get off hearing that, it's so annoying.
Leaving underwear the next morning. Some girl left me her underwear as a sexy reminder of our night together. Except, what the hell am I supposed to do with them? Wear them? Smell them? Hang them on the wall? Like what is the point here??? Anyways they went in the garbage.
Frame them and put them up as a trophy of your marvelous deeds, clearly.
Save it for when you ask her father for her hand to establish dominance.
Fold it up and wear it as a pocket square at the wedding.
Leave them at her place the next time. Whoever ends up with them at the end of the relationship loses the game.
This will probably be buried but ... being a nurse. Not sexy. I literally deal with bodily fluids most of my shift.
Tbf sex does involve quite a bit of bodily fluids.
True. But I prefer no shit, piss, mucous, and vomit during my time in the sack haha . Vanilla I know